social science personal statement examples

Social Sciences Personal Statement

Sample Social Science Personal Statement

Understanding individual and collective behaviour is in my view the social sciences’ key contribution to human knowledge. With a burgeoning passion for the social sciences that stems from my own curiosity regarding fundamental questions relating to how society shapes the individual and what factors in turn motivate the individual to live their chosen lifestyle, I view the possibility of progressing to university as an unrivalled opportunity for me to be able to delve into these questions through studying a joint-honours degree in the social sciences.

I find sociology a particularly fascinating branch of the social sciences due to the bold attempts of sociologists to take what may seem to be unexplainable phenomena and provide an understanding of them that is based around sound methods and conceptual frameworks that provide real insight into society and the way it shapes individuals. I have always been fascinated by the ‘nature versus nurture’ debate, and while some turn to the sciences for guidance, I believe that sociology provides much more satisfactory answers.

The area of criminology is perhaps the most important field within sociology in this regard. Reducing crime is a perennial objective of governments; yet without understanding what causes people to commit crime such efforts are likely to fail. It is only through examining questions such as the relationship between inequality or social deprivation and crime, or the pressures placed on certain sectors of society such as poor inner-city youths to become involved in delinquent or gang culture, that we can truly come to understand criminality.

Criminological matters also tie in very closely to psychology, another branch of the social sciences that I am strongly drawn to. Psychology has much to tell us about the nature of human motivation and the range of cognitive responses that individuals have to different circumstances. In this regard psychological research is as useful for explaining areas of crime, such as the ways in which individuals respond to provocation with violence, as it is to sport–an area that strongly interests me as a result of my passion for rugby and golf–and the matter of how individuals respond psychologically to adversity on the field.

I have enjoyed the strong thread of social sciences that has run through the BTEC I am currently completing in Business. For example, the course has laid strong emphasis on the psychological dimensions of themes such as leadership, management and team cohesion, all of which are central to the success of a business. Moreover, it is increasingly important for businesses to reflect on their social responsibilities, something which requires a consideration of sociological theory. The excellent marks I have received in the BTEC so far reflect my great enthusiasm for my studies; I am all the more proud of my results so far because I am studying this two-year course in the space of one year, a challenge that has helped mould me into a diligent and well-organised student.

I also balance this intense study workload with a part-time job as a customer assistant at Marks and Spencer. The role is an outlet for my natural desire for social interaction with people. I enjoy being able to offer advice to customers and build a rapport with people from a wide range of backgrounds. The teamwork element of the job is also very enjoyable, and it has been a pleasure to both learn how to carry out tasks such as cash management from colleagues and in turn teach these skills to others.

Playing and watching rugby is a great passion of mine. Between the ages of eight and seventeen I was continuously involved with playing for local and school sides. Doing so has given me a real ability to set myself goals and targets and then working towards them. It has also given me a love of working alongside others towards a common goal. That said, I also enjoy the solitary contemplation that comes with going to the gym five times a week and playing golf.

we hope you have found this sample Social Sciences personal statement helpful.

Personal Statement

• The Application Process
• UCAS Criteria
• Choosing a Degree
• Why is a Good Personal Statement Important?
• Your Personal Statement
• Example Personal Statements
• Personal Statement Help
• Personal Statement Format
• Points to Remember
• The UK Tuition Fees System
• Student Loans
• Student Finance
• Full Subjects List
• Disabled UCAS Applicants
• A-Level Results Day
• A Guide to Results Day
• Clearing & A Level Results Day
• A Guide to Clearing
• Visas to study in the UK
• Missed the January UCAS deadline?
• No University Offers…What Next?
• Interview Skills
• PGCE Interviews
• Applying to Oxbridge
• Before you go to University
• University Checklist
• Studying Abroad
• Applying to University Overseas
• Apply to study Internationally
• Preparing for Studying Abroad
• Benefits of Studying Abroad
• Taking a Gap Year
• Should You Take A Gap Year?
• Study Independently
• Choosing Accommodation

ADVERTISEMENTS

10 MSW Personal Statement Examples (with Commentary)

Get inspired by some of the best MSW personal statement examples below.

These personal statement examples are inspired by actual essays from students with whom we’ve collaborated, essays that contributed to their successful admissions. For confidentiality, key details have been altered.

If you’re looking for Personal Statement Help, Get Started Here !

Table of Contents

Example 1: NYU MSW Personal Statement Sample

Prompt: ‘why i want to be a social worker’ essay.

At the tender age of five, as my family faced the challenges of immigrating to the United States, I quickly became attuned to the complexities surrounding us. This early brush with adversity sparked my quest for understanding, especially in the realm of adolescent experiences. Growing up in a household where my mother tirelessly cared for us, while my father remained emotionally distant, I learned to seek solace in introspection and daydreaming. These experiences laid the foundation for my deep empathy towards others and a commitment to understanding them beyond surface-level perceptions.

My ability to empathize with others, particularly adolescents, has been a guiding force in my life. Working with XXXX as a counselor, I revisited my own teenage years, recognizing the crucial need for guidance during this transformative phase. This realization has fueled my determination to specialize in counseling and therapy for adolescents, a path I am eager to pursue through NYU’s Master of Social Work program. I am convinced that effective counseling during adolescence is pivotal in shaping capable, responsible adults.

My internship at XXXX Health was a turning point. Observing clinical behavioral health therapists and working alongside a psychiatrist specializing in post-incarceration life, I gained profound insights into the long-lasting impact of disrupted adolescent experiences. Hearing the narratives of former inmates underscored the importance of early intervention in defining one’s identity. This experience intensified my desire to work with young individuals struggling to find their place in the world.

Choosing NYU Silver was a natural decision. The school’s esteemed faculty, particularly Dr. Kirk Jae James, resonates with my journey as an immigrant. Dr. James’ dedication to overcoming his challenging past and disproving stereotypes is not just inspiring; it mirrors the resilience and determination I strive to embody. His work with those affected by mass incarceration aligns closely with my aspiration to be a clinical therapist who can bring change to young lives.

New York City, the vibrant and diverse backdrop of NYU Silver, also greatly appeals to me. The city’s rich history of nurturing notable figures like Andy Warhol, Roy Halston, and Jean Basquiat speaks to its capacity to foster self-discovery and belonging. I am excited to immerse myself in this melting pot of cultures and ideas, which will undoubtedly enrich my learning and practice in clinical therapy.

My personal history, particularly my father’s struggle with his traumatic childhood, has taught me that resilience and determination are key to overcoming adversity. His journey, though fraught with challenges, has instilled in me the belief that embracing the unknown and being steadfast in one’s goals can lead to remarkable achievements. Carrying this lesson with me, I step into NYU Silver poised to embark on a journey towards becoming an influential clinical therapist for adolescents.

My path to NYU Silver is more than an academic pursuit; it is a commitment to my dream of guiding adolescents through their most vulnerable years. By combining my personal experiences with the comprehensive training at NYU Silver, I am ready to make a meaningful impact in the field of clinical therapy, helping young individuals navigate their formative years with understanding and resilience.

Commentary:

• Personal and Cultural Background : Effectively connects early experiences as an immigrant to developing empathy, crucial for social work.
• Professional Aspirations : Clearly links past experiences with seniors and an internship to a focused interest in clinical therapy for adolescents.
• Academic Motivation : Draws a parallel between personal experiences and the inspiration found in NYU Silver’s faculty and New York City’s diversity.
• Resilience and Determination : Reflects on lessons learned from family, particularly the father, instilling a belief in achieving ambitious goals.
• Career Vision : Articulates a strong desire to impact adolescent lives, demonstrating an understanding of the field’s challenges and opportunities.

Verdict: The personal statement is heartfelt and well-structured, showing a clear link between the candidate’s background, their professional drive, and their chosen academic path. The reflection on personal and family resilience adds depth, positioning the candidate as a motivated individual ready to leverage their experiences for meaningful social work.

Example 2: Columbia MSW Personal Statement Sample

• Part 1: Reflecting upon your decision and motivation to pursue the MSW, describe how attending CSSW will enable you to meet your goals as a social worker. What are your immediate and long-term social work goals?
• Part 2: Describe a social problem of significance to you. Please discuss it in regard to societal contributions to the origin of the problem, experiences that have contributed to your identification and understanding of the problem, and possible ways of addressing the problem.
• Part 3: Choose two attributes and provide examples as to how you exemplify these traits. Choose one attribute you would like to improve. How will attending the MSW program at CSSW help you in doing so?

1. Motivation and Goals for Pursuing MSW:

From a young age, I have been acutely aware of the disparities and injustices in my community. Growing up in a low-income neighborhood in Chicago, I witnessed firsthand the detrimental effects of poverty, limited access to quality education, and the cycle of violence. These early observations fueled my passion for social work, specifically my desire to develop community-based programs aimed at youth empowerment and education. My immediate goal is to work in a non-profit organization focused on urban youth development, while my long-term ambition is to establish a foundation dedicated to providing educational resources and mentorship programs for at-risk youth.

Attending the Columbia School of Social Work (CSSW) will provide me with the critical skills, knowledge, and network necessary to achieve these goals. CSSW’s commitment to social justice, its comprehensive curriculum, and the opportunity to learn from esteemed faculty and diverse peers will equip me with a nuanced understanding of social issues and effective intervention strategies.

2. A Significant Social Problem:

The social problem that resonates most with me is the school-to-prison pipeline, an issue rampant in many urban communities, including my own. This problem arises from a combination of societal factors such as underfunded public schools, zero-tolerance policies, and systemic racial discrimination. My understanding of this issue deepened through volunteering at a local youth center, where I encountered numerous teens who had been expelled from school and were at risk of entering the juvenile justice system.

Addressing this problem requires a multi-faceted approach, starting with policy reform to prioritize education and rehabilitation over punishment. Community-based intervention programs focusing on mentorship, counseling, and educational support can play a vital role in diverting at-risk youth from the criminal justice system. At CSSW, I hope to explore these interventions in-depth and develop effective strategies to dismantle the school-to-prison pipeline.

3. Personal Attributes and Areas for Improvement:

Empathy : My empathy has been a guiding force in my social work journey. A poignant example was when I volunteered at a local youth center. There, I met a teenager named Marcus who had been expelled from school. By actively listening and engaging with him, I learned about his challenges at home and his struggles with learning disabilities. Understanding his situation, I worked with the youth center staff to develop a personalized educational plan and connect him with a mentor. This experience deepened my ability to empathize with individuals from diverse backgrounds, recognizing the unique challenges they face.

Resilience : My resilience was particularly tested when I spearheaded a community project to revitalize a rundown public park. The project faced numerous setbacks, including funding shortages and bureaucratic hurdles. Despite these challenges, I mobilized the community, organized fundraising events, and negotiated with local officials. The successful completion of the park not only provided a safe space for children but also reinforced my ability to persist in the face of adversity, a crucial trait for a social worker.

Area for Improvement – Policy Advocacy : My experience in grassroots initiatives has been rewarding, but it also highlighted the limitations of addressing social issues without policy change. For instance, while volunteering at the youth center, I realized that individual interventions, though beneficial, could not alone prevent the systemic issue of school expulsions leading to juvenile detentions. This recognition has fueled my desire to improve my skills in policy advocacy, an area where I see great growth potential. CSSW’s program, with its emphasis on policy practice, will be instrumental in helping me acquire the necessary knowledge and skills to advocate effectively for systemic changes.

Conclusion:

Attending Columbia School of Social Work will be a pivotal step in my journey to becoming an impactful social worker. I am eager to engage with the CSSW community, learn from diverse experiences, and contribute my perspective towards creating meaningful change. I am committed to using the knowledge and skills gained from CSSW to fight for social justice and empower the youth in communities like mine.

• Clarity of Motivation : The essay effectively communicates the candidate’s personal experiences and observations of disparities in their community as key motivators for pursuing social work.
• Goal-Oriented : Clearly outlines immediate and long-term goals, demonstrating a focused vision for a career in social work.
• Understanding of a Social Issue : The candidate’s insight into the school-to-prison pipeline, informed by volunteer experiences, indicates a deep understanding of this complex social problem.
• Attributes and Self-Improvement : Demonstrates empathy and resilience through specific examples. Identifies policy advocacy as an area for improvement and connects this to CSSW’s curriculum.
• Personal and Professional Growth : The candidate’s experiences, challenges faced, and the growth they seek align well with the offerings of the CSSW program.

Verdict: The candidate’s personal statement is compelling and well-crafted. It showcases a strong personal connection to the field, a clear understanding of relevant social issues, and a desire for professional growth that aligns with the CSSW program.

Example 3: UC Berkeley MSW Statement of Purpose Sample

Please address each of the following in your statement:

• Describe your aptitude, motivation and preparation for graduate study in the field of social welfare; your future career goals in the profession of social work; and achievements that demonstrate your professional promise and leadership potential as a social worker.
• Describe your academic and professional areas of interest in social work, including your chosen area(s) of specialization.
• Demonstrate your understanding of contemporary issues and challenges in the professional practice of social work by posing a question or identifying a relevant problem/current issue you would like to explore, and how you might address it from the perspective of a masters’-level social worker.

My journey into the world of social work began with a deeply personal experience – caring for my youngest daughter who faced developmental and language delays. This challenge opened my eyes to the struggles of parents with special needs children and sparked my commitment to helping vulnerable groups. I founded a non-profit organization to support children in rural Russian orphanages, which expanded my drive to assist not only children but also adults suffering from trauma and PTSD. This path has led me to pursue the Master of Social Welfare program at Berkeley, where I aim to deepen my knowledge and skills for effective global impact.

My background is richly diverse. As a mother of four bilingual, multicultural children, I developed a keen interest in early bilingualism. For my thesis at XXXX State Linguistic University, I explored bilingual language development in infants and toddlers, focusing on methods used by parents raising bilingual children. This research, recommended for publication as a guide for multilingual families, heightened my awareness of the challenges immigrant families face globally. It solidified my resolve to find research-based solutions to social issues, a commitment I bring to Berkeley’s rigorous program.

Professionally, I thrived as a XXXX Director for XXXX in Russia, where I honed leadership skills by building a team of passionate educators. A notable achievement was our collaboration with XXXX Department, providing educational programs to young patients. This experience was transformative, broadening my perspective on social change and reinforcing my desire to make a meaningful difference.

As a certified life and leadership coach, I focused on assisting Russian-speaking immigrants and refugee women, many confronting dire challenges like domestic abuse and PTSD. These encounters underscored the need for specialized social welfare skills, steering me towards a Master’s in Social Work. My goal is to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, specializing in trauma and PTSD, and to contribute on an international scale, possibly with organizations like Doctors Without Borders.

Recognizing the critical role of language in social work, I have been learning Spanish and French to better connect with diverse patient populations. My linguistic background enhances my ability to engage effectively in multicultural settings. To gain practical experience, I completed a 90-hour training at Crisis Support Services of XXXX and began volunteering on their crisis line. This hands-on involvement, particularly during these challenging times, has further motivated me toward my LCSW goal.

UC Berkeley’s MSW program, known for its diverse student body and commitment to public service, is the ideal environment for me to grow. Surrounded by peers and faculty who share a dedication to social justice, I am eager to expand my understanding and prepare for a career dedicated to improving the lives of vulnerable individuals, families, and communities.

• Personal Experience as Motivation : The statement effectively uses the candidate’s personal experience of caring for a child with developmental delays as a catalyst for their interest in social work.
• Global Perspective : Showcases a strong commitment to international social issues through work with Russian orphanages and immigrant communities.
• Professional Achievements : Highlights relevant professional experiences, including leadership roles and work with vulnerable populations.
• Educational Goals and Alignment : Clearly articulates the desire to specialize in trauma and PTSD, aligning with Berkeley’s MSW program’s strengths.
• Multicultural and Linguistic Skills : Demonstrates an understanding of the importance of cultural competence in social work, supported by multilingual abilities.

Verdict: The candidate presents a compelling mix of personal motivation, professional experience, and academic alignment with the MSW program at UC Berkeley. Their diverse background and specific career goals make them an ideal candidate for the program.

Example 4: Cal State Fullerton MSW Personal Statement Sample

The quality of the writing in the personal statement will be evaluated, as will the applicant’s ability to thoroughly address the questions outlined below:

• Describe how your personal background and life experiences have influenced your decision to pursue a graduate education in social work. Please include any challenges or hardships you may have overcome on your journey.
• What are your expectations of graduate education at Cal State Fullerton in terms of your own development? Indicate any problems or limitations that should be taken into account in planning your graduate program.
• Specify your career objectives as a professional social worker as you now conceive them. Indicate the fields of practice in which you are interested.
• Describe your experiences with diverse populations and groups, and how those experiences have contributed to your interest in social work. Which population (defined by culture, ethnicity, sexual orientation, socio-economic status, psychological and/or physical functioning) would you like to serve and why?

While managing an in-school feeding program, I watched a 7-year-old boy take a modest meal at school, and save half for his siblings at home. Another girl expressed joy for the school meals she relied on. These encounters, and others like them, deeply impacted me, highlighting the critical issue of child hunger and food insecurity. My resolve to expand our school feeding program was fueled by these experiences, successfully growing it from 7 to 1,053 schools over five years.

After graduating, I joined the Philippine XXXXX in 2001, managing the Business and Peace Program in the XXXXX Region. Here, I worked with XXXXXX, identifying young Muslims for internships that fostered leadership and peace.

In 2008, I transitioned to the XXXXX Foundation, developing community programs and managing the in-school feeding program, which fed 40,000 children at its peak. These experiences solidified my commitment to child welfare and my belief in the power of social work.

Managing the feeding program, I faced ethical challenges, like discovering fund misappropriation by a local agency officer. I addressed this by establishing direct communication with schools and conducting random checks, ensuring program integrity.

Then in 2013, I took a break to focus on family and moved to XXXXX. Motherhood enriched my perspective, making me more empathetic, resilient, and dedicated to child welfare. Now ready to re-enter the social work field, I seek an MSW degree to update my skills and knowledge.

Post-MSW, I aim to influence policies and contribute to community-based solutions in the Philippines, aspiring to work with large non-profits and eventually with international agencies like UNICEF.

The COVID-19 pandemic has heightened child poverty in the Philippines, underscoring the urgency of my mission. At CSU Fullerton, I plan to study social work theories, understand child welfare systems, and apply these learnings to the Philippine context.

With a Master of Social Work degree, I am poised to join the effort to advance children’s welfare, equipped to make a significant difference in their lives. The Filipino children cannot wait. They need all the help they can get. And with a Master of Social Work degree from CSU Fullerton, the battle will have been half-won.

• Personal Narrative as Motivation : The statement effectively uses the applicant’s personal experiences with poverty, domestic violence, and addiction to illustrate a deep-rooted motivation for pursuing social work.
• Community Involvement and Professional Experience : Highlights significant community engagement and professional achievements, demonstrating a commitment to social justice and positive change.
• Challenges and Ethical Considerations : Discusses challenges faced during professional work, showing problem-solving skills and ethical awareness.
• Academic and Career Goals : Clearly articulates how an MSW will enrich the applicant’s knowledge and skills, aiming to influence policies and create community-based solutions.
• Personal Growth and Family Perspective : Reflects on the lessons learned from being a stay-at-home mother, tying this to a renewed enthusiasm for child welfare work.

Verdict: The statement presents a well-rounded candidate with a compelling personal connection to social work, reinforced by active community involvement, ethical professional practice, and clear career goals. The applicant’s experiences and aspirations align well with the MSW program at CSU Fullerton- making them a strong candidate.

Example 5: Cal State Long Beach MSW Personal Statement Sample

How did you become interested in social work? What motivated you to choose social work as a profession?

My passion for social work and advocacy for equality is rooted in a fundamental belief: no voice should be silenced in the pursuit of a just society. Throughout my life, I’ve witnessed how advocates for equality are often marginalized, their concerns unheard. This fuels my commitment to actively work towards a just world, where standing up for justice is a right for all.

As a child of Mexican immigrants, I experienced the harsh realities of a low-income household. This upbringing ingrained in me deep empathy and an intimate understanding of the struggles faced by underprivileged communities. My parents’ relentless hard work and sacrifices, despite economic hardships, have been a constant source of inspiration. They taught me resilience, compassion, and the importance of community support.

My professional journey in social work began at XXXX Community Development Corporation, where I took a lead role in organizing a landmark meeting with elected officials. We successfully voiced community concerns, addressing critical issues like infrastructure and public safety. This experience honed my skills in advocacy and highlighted the power of active listening and engagement.

Furthering my commitment, I volunteered at XXXX Volunteers in Medicine, assisting in providing healthcare to those unable to afford it. Here, I learned the critical role of accessible healthcare and the importance of educating communities about healthy living. These experiences have solidified my resolve to pursue a career in social work, focusing on advocating for essential services and support for underprivileged communities.

My aspiration to become a licensed clinical social worker, specializing in children’s mental health, aligns perfectly with the academic rigor and diverse environment offered by the Master of Social Work program at CSULB. As an undergraduate at CSULB, I was captivated by the program’s depth and the diverse perspectives it embraced. The experiences shared with students from varied backgrounds deepened my understanding of the multifaceted challenges in our society.

I am fully committed to investing my time and resources in the coursework and fieldwork placements at CSULB. The opportunity to study in a stimulating environment, surrounded by professionals who share my passion, will provide a solid foundation for my career. I bring with me a wealth of practical insights from working with low-income communities, the homeless, the elderly, and drug users. These experiences, I believe, will contribute significantly to our class discussions and align perfectly with CSULB’s mission of supporting vulnerable and oppressed populations.

My journey in social work is a commitment to those who struggle to be heard. At CSULB, I aim to further my skills, knowledge, and understanding, preparing myself to be a force for change and a voice for the voiceless. My goal is to ensure that every child, family, and community I work with gets the opportunity to thrive, just as I strive to make a meaningful impact in the field of social work.

• Strong Personal Connection : The statement effectively connects the candidate’s personal background as a child of Mexican immigrants to her empathy and understanding of underprivileged communities.
• Professional Experience : Highlights relevant work in community development and healthcare, which demonstrates practical skills in advocacy and community engagement.
• Academic and Career Goals : Clearly articulates the ambition to specialize in children’s mental health, aligning with CSULB’s program.
• Commitment to Social Work Values : Demonstrates a deep commitment to social justice, aligned with the mission of CSULB’s social work program.

Verdict: The personal statement is comprehensive and well-constructed, effectively demonstrating the candidate’s passion, relevant experience, and alignment with CSULB’s Master of Social Work program. The candidate’s background and professional aspirations make them a strong fit for the program.

Example 6: San Jose State University MSW Personal Statement Sample

In the heart of a small migrant community, where the sting of social inequities was a daily reality, my path toward a career in social work began to take shape. My childhood, marked by the challenges of racial discrimination and economic struggle, instilled in me not only resilience but a deep understanding of the complex social fabric that shapes communities. It was these formative experiences, coupled with my time volunteering at a local shelter, that solidified my dedication to advocating for social justice.

Professionally, my experiences have been closely aligned with the values at the core of social work. Serving as a community organizer, I worked alongside local leaders to tackle critical issues like housing affordability and healthcare accessibility, gaining valuable insights into the world of policy advocacy. Another pivotal role was as a counselor for at-risk youth, where I developed a keen understanding of the challenges faced by young people from diverse backgrounds. This role was instrumental in refining my skills in empathy and communication.

Looking ahead, my immediate goal is to become a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a focus on trauma and PTSD. In the long run, I aspire to establish a non-profit dedicated to providing mental health services to marginalized communities. These ambitions are rooted in a deep-seated commitment to effecting lasting change for those society often overlooks.

San Jose State University’s MSW program, renowned for its emphasis on culturally competent practice, particularly with Latinx and other minority groups, aligns perfectly with both my personal and professional values. The program’s exceptional faculty and comprehensive curriculum stand out as ideal for nurturing my academic and professional growth.

In conclusion, I am confident that my time at San Jose State University will not only refine my existing skills but also expand my perspectives, equipping me to become an effective, empathetic social worker. I am eager to embrace the tools and knowledge that the program offers, to champion social justice and make a tangible difference in the lives of those most in need.

This MSW personal statement sample effectively showcases the candidate’s journey and motivation towards a career in social work. It does well in several key aspects:

• Personal Experience : The statement begins with a compelling narrative about the candidate’s upbringing in a diverse, challenging environment, effectively linking personal background to their interest in social work.
• Professional Alignment : The candidate skillfully ties their professional experiences, like community organizing and counseling, to the core values of social work- to demonstrate a clear understanding and commitment to the field.
• Future Goals & Alignment with the Program : The statement outlines specific short-term and long-term professional goals, aligning them with the strengths of San Jose State University’s MSW program. This demonstrates the candidate’s purposeful choice of program and their understanding of how it will support their career objectives.
• Flow and Clarity : The essay is well-structured, with each paragraph transitioning smoothly into the next, maintaining a clear and engaging narrative throughout.

Verdict: The statement presents a well-rounded, sincere, and focused candidate with a clear vision for their future in social work. It makes a strong case for their admission.

Example 7: Wayne State University MSW Personal Statement Sample

Your statement must address the following items:

• The National Association of Social Workers set forth important guiding principles to address social workers’ ethical responsibility to clients, colleagues, employers and employing organizations, the social work profession, and society.
• Describe how these ethical standards would shape your professional social work practice. How would you reconcile any conflicts between your personal values and the requirements of the profession?
• Describe why you believe you are a good fit with the mission of the Wayne State University School of Social Work, particularly its urban mission.
• Social workers are committed to social justice. Please describe your thoughts on a particular social and economic justice issue and how you intend to use your professional social work degree to address these issues.

As an African American with Native American roots, I have firsthand experience with the challenges faced by underserved communities. This background has deeply influenced my desire to pursue social work, driven by a belief in compassion, commitment, and competence. I aim to amplify my impact in this field by enhancing my skills, and I believe the MSW program at Wayne State University is the ideal setting for this growth.

My life in Detroit has exposed me to the myriad challenges of urban environments, from food deserts to unsafe public spaces and high crime rates. The city’s struggle with deindustrialization has led to job losses, property abandonment, and heightened poverty, which I believe positions me uniquely for Wayne’s urban mission. Understanding these issues firsthand, I feel equipped to contribute meaningfully to solutions.

In my current role with a youth assistance program, I work to prevent youths from entering the juvenile system and help rehabilitate those already involved. Our sessions include group counseling, academic enrichment, and life skills training, aimed at early intervention to improve life quality and academic performance.

My practice as a social worker is grounded in the ethical standards set forth by the National Association of Social Workers. I prioritize service above self-interest, as evidenced by my role as a Direct Care Worker for my sister with Autism Spectrum Disorder. I am committed to social justice and understand the importance of dignity and respect for every individual, regardless of their background. My experience with Wayne State University’s XXXXXX program has further reinforced the value of human relationships in social work.

I recognize the potential conflicts between personal values and professional responsibilities. In such cases, I intend to adhere to the profession’s ethical standards, ensuring that my personal beliefs do not hinder my ability to serve clients effectively.

The Wayne State University School of Social Work’s urban mission resonates with my experiences and aspirations. My understanding of Detroit’s unique challenges aligns with the school’s focus on urban social work. I am particularly interested in addressing issues of poverty and economic disparity, leveraging my post-masters degree to initiate impactful programs like fundraisers for low-income students and collaborations with local food banks.

I am aware of the challenges in understanding certain aspects of social work, such as the dynamics of gang involvement. To address this, I plan to engage in continuous learning about various community issues to enhance my ability to serve diverse populations effectively.

My journey has not been without its challenges. While I have been actively involved in addressing the needs of victims of gang violence, I recognize a gap in my understanding of gang culture. To bridge this gap, I am committed to learning more about gang dynamics, history, and the socioeconomic factors that influence gang membership. This knowledge will be crucial in my work with at-risk youth, allowing me to provide more targeted and effective interventions.

Balancing the demands of graduate studies with work, family, and financial responsibilities will be challenging, but my experience in the Wayne State University XXXXX program has equipped me with valuable skills in time management and prioritization. I am prepared to fully commit to the MSW program, confident that it will transform me into an impactful social work professional aligned with Wayne State’s mission.

• Alignment with University’s Mission : The statement effectively aligns the student’s personal and professional experiences with Wayne State University’s urban mission.
• Ethical Awareness : Demonstrates a clear understanding of social work ethics and a commitment to upholding these standards in practice.
• Conflict Resolution : Thoughtfully addresses potential conflicts between personal values and professional responsibilities, indicating maturity and professional readiness.
• Commitment to Social Justice : Shows a strong dedication to social justice, particularly in addressing economic disparities and poverty.
• Continuous Learning : Emphasizes a willingness to learn and grow, especially in areas like understanding gang dynamics, which is crucial for effective social work.
• Personal Experiences : Successfully uses personal experiences to illustrate a deep understanding of the challenges faced by underserved communities.
• Realistic Approach : Acknowledges and prepares for the challenges of balancing graduate studies with other life responsibilities.

Verdict: The applicant shows a strong alignment with the program’s focus, demonstrates ethical awareness, and possesses a clear commitment to social justice and continuous learning. The statement shows maturity and readiness for the challenges of graduate study in social work.

Example 8: University of Pittsburg MSW Personal Statement Sample

Please describe in your personal statement the following:

• Influences in your life that led you to select social work as a profession
• Why you are applying to the University of Pittsburg School of Social Work
• How an MSW will help you achieve your career goals
• Your special skills and abilities, your strengths as well as your limitations
• How your abilities will contribute to your development as a professional social worker
• Discuss a contemporary issue that is of concern to you

Printed on my grandfather’s funeral brochure was an old Irish proverb: “Death leaves a heartache no one can heal; love leaves a memory no one can steal.” This sentiment has resonated with me deeply, as I have experienced significant loss in my life, from cancer to accidents and suicide. These experiences have not only shaped my understanding of grief but also steered me towards a career in social work, specifically in gerontology and hospice care.

During my final quarter at XXXXXXX State College, I met a hospice social worker whose impact on families dealing with end-of-life situations was profound. Her approach to helping families accept, celebrate life, and find peace in farewells deeply inspired me. It was then that I realized the power of social work in providing comfort and dignity in life’s final stages.

I am applying to the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work because of its strong gerontology program and its commitment to addressing contemporary issues like the impact of COVID-19 on the aging population. The pandemic has starkly highlighted the disparities in our healthcare system, especially concerning end-of-life care. I aim to contribute to this field by developing solutions to these emerging challenges, ensuring dignity and comfort for all in their final moments, regardless of their racial or socioeconomic status.

My work experience in childcare and hospitality has equipped me with patience, empathy, and a strong work ethic, qualities essential for a career in social work. Additionally, my volunteer work with XXXXXXX and the XXXXXXX has given me valuable experience in community service. However, I recognize my tendency to be overly trusting as a limitation. In the field of social work, discernment is crucial, and I am actively working on balancing empathy with professional objectivity.

At the University of Pittsburgh, I am particularly interested in courses like Grief and Loss: Interventions, Implications, and Understanding, and Direct Practice with Older Adults. These courses, coupled with field education in aging, hospice, or hospital settings, will be instrumental in achieving my career goals.

My commitment to serving the Pittsburgh community stems from my deep-rooted connection to the city. Witnessing the impact of the university’s alumni in the field has further motivated me to pursue my MSW here. I am fully aware of the challenges that lie ahead in the field of social work, but I am confident that the guidance and training offered by the University of Pittsburgh will equip me to tackle these challenges effectively.

My personal experiences with loss, combined with my professional aspirations and commitment to social justice, make me a suitable candidate for the MSW program. I am eager to contribute my skills, work ethic, and unique perspectives to the University of Pittsburgh School of Social Work and to grow into a compassionate and effective social worker.

• Connection of Personal Experience to Career Choice : Effectively links personal encounters with loss to a passion for social work, particularly in gerontology and hospice care.
• Alignment with Program’s Strengths : Clearly identifies why the University of Pittsburgh’s program, with its focus on gerontology, is a strong fit for the candidate’s career goals.
• Discussion of Contemporary Issues : Addresses the impact of COVID-19 on the aging population, showing awareness of current challenges in social work.
• Self-awareness and Growth : Acknowledges personal limitations, like being overly trusting, and the intention to work on balancing empathy with professional objectivity.
• Relevant Skills and Experience : Highlights experiences in childcare, hospitality, and volunteer work, which showcase skills valuable in social work.

Verdict: The statement demonstrates a clear connection between personal experiences and professional aspirations. It aligns effectively with the program’s focus, displays awareness of current social issues, and shows a commitment to personal growth- making the candidate a strong fit for the University of Pittsburgh’s MSW program.

Example 9: Case Western Reserve University MSW Personal Statement Sample

Discuss significant factors influencing your decision to pursue a Master of Science in Social Administration (MSSA).

• Your essay should include information regarding your interest in the social work profession, your intended concentration/specialization, and career goals.
• Please reflect on how any past school, community, volunteer, professional work, and leadership experiences will contribute to your success as a graduate student.
• Describe how you see yourself contributing to the vibrancy of our student body and school community.
• Describe any strengths or limitations that might influence you being successful in your field placement.
• Finally, please include why the Mandel School is a good fit for your educational goals.

My decision to pursue a Master of Science in Social Administration (MSSA) at the Mandel School is deeply rooted in personal and professional experiences that have highlighted the profound impact of social work. My journey began with observing the complexities of mental health within my family, which instilled in me a passion for understanding and advocating for mental health care.

Growing up, I watched a beloved family member struggle with mental health challenges. Witnessing their battle and the ripple effect it had on our family stirred in me a resolve to support others facing similar trials. This resolve only deepened with the birth of my daughter, Eve, when I encountered my postpartum mood disorders. Through receiving treatment and support, I was empowered to overcome these challenges, which further fueled my aspiration to assist women grappling with similar issues.

In my professional role as a Health Coach and Personal Trainer, I’ve had the privilege of supporting clients like John and Anna, whose mental well-being was intertwined with their physical health goals. These experiences have honed my ability to listen empathetically and devise holistic approaches to wellness that I believe will be invaluable in my social work practice.

My immediate career goal is to establish a private practice focused on women’s mental health, particularly addressing postpartum mood disorders. I am inspired to create a space where women can seek help without stigma or silence. In the long term, I aspire to influence mental health policy, advocating for accessible care and support systems that recognize and address the silent struggles many women face.

The Mandel School’s commitment to academic excellence and its vibrant student body resonate with my educational and professional ethos. The school’s innovative approach to social work education, particularly in mental health, makes it an exceptional fit for my aspirations. My compassion, coupled with my professional experience and personal journey through mental health challenges, will contribute to the rich tapestry of the Mandel School community.

Ultimately, I envision my time at the Mandel School as a transformative experience that will not only deepen my understanding of social work but also equip me with the skills to make significant contributions to the field. With a community that fosters diversity of thought and experience, I am confident that my educational journey here will prepare me for a fulfilling and impactful career in social work.

• Personal Connection : The statement effectively establishes a personal connection to social work through the candidate’s family experiences with mental health.
• Professional Relevance : It highlights relevant work experience that translates well into social work competencies, particularly in understanding clients’ holistic needs.
• Clear Career Objectives : The candidate articulates well-defined short-term and long-term goals that align with their personal experiences and professional aspirations.
• School Alignment : There is a strong emphasis on how the Mandel School’s ethos resonates with the candidate’s goals, suggesting a thoughtful choice in their application.
• Contribution to Community : The statement outlines how the candidate’s unique experiences and compassion will add value to the student body and fieldwork.

Verdict: The candidate’s personal statement is compelling, demonstrating a strong, authentic motivation for pursuing an MSSA and a clear vision for how the Mandel School will help fulfill their career objectives.

Example 10: University of Pittsburg MSW Personal Statement Sample

• Influences in your life that led you to select social work as a profession.
• Why you are applying to Pitt’s School of Social Work.
• How an MSW will help you achieve your career goals.
• How your abilities will contribute to your development as a professional social worker.
• discuss a contemporary issue that is of concern to you.

At just seven years old, I witnessed the harsh realities of poverty, domestic violence, and addiction within my family. These experiences instilled in me a passion for social work, especially after seeing how social workers supported our family through my parents’ mental health and addiction challenges. This inspired me to pursue a career in this field to use my background and skills gained from an MSW program to assist individuals and families in their recovery processes.

Growing up, our family was caught up in a custody battle, leading my siblings and me to frequently navigate foster care and courtrooms. My parents’ struggle with addiction was alleviated by the support of social workers and case managers, who provided housing, food assistance, service coordination, and counseling. Tragically, both my parents eventually succumbed to drug overdoses. Though painful, these experiences further reinforced my commitment to social work and helping others facing similar struggles.

In recent years, I have been actively involved in social justice activism. My roles as a community organizer and development director for XXXXX Summer Camp, a non-profit empowering girls and non-binary youth through music and mentorship, highlighted the need for improved mental and behavioral health services. Volunteering as a delivery driver and food packager with XXXXX Aid during the COVID-19 pandemic underscored the importance of community support for those in need.

My experience in event coordination, donor relationship building, and electoral campaign work has enabled me to contribute to meaningful change in my community, such as the successful XXXXX Wage initiative in Oregon, which improved the lives of countless workers. Serving on the XXXXX Democratic Committee for Ward Four, I have amplified community voices and supported candidates who advocate for accessible mental and behavioral health services, safe and affordable housing, and environmental protection.

A contemporary issue that concerns me is the effectiveness of harm reduction techniques in treating mental health and dual-diagnosis clients. I aim to explore how these techniques can be integrated into traditional substance abuse treatment models to better meet the mental health needs of individuals like my parents. Additionally, I am interested in how mental health professionals and addiction treatment providers can collaborate to provide comprehensive care for dual-diagnosis clients.

Obtaining an MSW will empower me to become a skilled, compassionate, and trauma-informed clinician. My goal is to contribute to accessible mental and behavioral health services, particularly for trauma survivors, and advocate for inclusive, culturally responsive, and restorative justice practices.

I am empathetic and easily connect with people, and my resilience in adversity will contribute to my development as a professional social worker. These qualities have supported me in helping my sister Cheyan and in my social justice work.

I chose the University of Pittsburgh’s School of Social Work for its highly-ranked program and specialization in mental health. This program aligns with my goal of employing harm reduction strategies for dual-diagnosis clients. Additionally, its proximity to my family will enable me to support them while pursuing my education.

I am eager to return to the University of Pittsburgh and embark on this transformative journey to become a professional social worker. The MSW program will enable me to make a significant difference in the lives of those who need compassionate and trauma-informed care. I am confident that this program will honor my family’s legacy and empower me to create positive change for countless individuals and families in need.

• Personal Experience as a Motivation : The applicant compellingly uses their personal history of overcoming poverty, domestic violence, and addiction to demonstrate a deep-rooted motivation for pursuing social work.
• Community Involvement : The statement highlights significant community engagement and activism, showcasing a commitment to social justice and change.
• Professional Development : Details about event coordination, campaign involvement, and leadership roles show the applicant’s ability to effect change and work collaboratively.
• Academic and Career Goals : The applicant clearly articulates their interest in harm reduction techniques and their intent to enhance their skills through the MSW program.
• Personal Qualities : Empathy and resilience are emphasized as strengths that will aid in their development as a social worker.

Verdict: The statement presents a well-rounded candidate with a powerful personal connection to social work, backed by active community involvement and clear professional goals. Their commitment to addressing complex social issues, coupled with their personal strengths, shines throughout the statement.

Before you go…

You should be inspired enough to craft your authentic MSW personal statement. But you still need experienced eyes to deeply review it for flow, tone, logical structure, and clarity! See how I can help you below…

I will proofread, polish, edit any personal statement, college application essay or sop.

Related Articles:

Social Work Personal Statement Guide (w/Examples)

Top 8 Cheapest Online MSW Programs

Best Online MSW Programs in California

Leave a Comment Cancel reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

Advertise With Us

Advertising Disclosure

Privacy Policy

Cookie Policy

As an Amazon Associate (and a participant of other affiliate programs), this site earns from qualifying purchases.

© 2024 TheCollegeApplication.com, a Delicto Holdings Company | All Rights Reserved

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

Clearing Universities & Courses

Clearing Advice

Recommended Clearing Universities

Middlesex University

London (Greater) · 98% Recommended

University for the Creative Arts

London (Greater) · 87% Recommended

University of Kent

South East England · 97% Recommended

Popular Course Categories

Take our quick degree quiz

Find the ideal uni course for you with our Course Degree Quiz. Get answers in minutes!

Take our full degree quiz

Get more tailored course suggestions with our full Course Degree Quiz and apply with confidence.

Search by Type

Search by Region

Recommended Universities

University of Roehampton

London (Greater) · 95% Recommended

University of Surrey

South East England · 98% Recommended

University of Suffolk

East of England · 96% Recommended

Search Open Days

What's new at Uni Compare

University of Bradford

#1 for UK City of Culture 2025, click here to learn more!

West London Institute of Technology

Get a high-quality technical degree from WLIoT and boost your career prospects!

Ranking Categories

Regional Rankings

More Rankings

Top 100 Universities

Taken from 131,500+ data points from students attending university to help future generations

About our Rankings

Discover university rankings devised from data collected from current students.

Guide Categories

Advice Categories

Recommended Articles

Popular Statement Examples

Statement Advice

What to include in a Personal Statement

Personal Statement Tips

PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE Social Science Personal Statement

Submitted by Lola

Social Science Personal Statement

I want to study Sociology at a higher, more advanced level. The reason I am so drawn towards this specific course is because it gives people an explanation as to why humans behave/ interact in a certain way towards others in society. It is stated that curiosity killed the cat but in this case curiosity has lead me to understand that society is unequal when considering race, class and gender. My perspective has been developed as I now view things in a more sociological way.

Studying this subject will enhance my knowledge and I will be enlightened. It is within my interest to learn about how family takes a toll on the outcome of the person for example primary socialisation (when a child is socialised the correct norms and values in the first few years of their life) focuses on the upbringing as well as different family types such as cohabiting, extended, gay and lone parent families etc. Studying Sociology, Media, Religious Education and Philosophy has helped me to develop debating and my ability to craft an argument, my communication skills, and to look at things from different viewpoints.

I also have interest in Religious Education. The first topic we learnt was about Plato’s cave analogy which taught me that it is vital to look beyond the world I live in, looking past reality and empirical methods. Just like the prisoners are unaware of the real of forms I am trapped. Trapped, held back and imprisoned…my way of breaking free is to unlock and pursue wisdom and knowledge which I am searching for in university. Religious Education also allows me to question the ethical morality of things. Ethics also brings makes me think about whether meritocracy is ethically correct as the bourgeoisie are considered more important and the proletariat aim to be like the rich and what to achieve socially accepted goals.

In addition Media Studies helped me to take notice of the different stereotypes and how they are portrayed in the media for example in our patriarchal society males are seen as more dominant in comparison to women who are submissive. Parsons (a sociologist) claims that our social construct is due to human biological differences.

I have experienced singing, dancing and acting which has given me confidence and enables me to talk and communicate effectively to others. The school council has given me a sense of leadership and the experience of taking other peoples thoughts into consideration when managing them. I have volunteered at a charity shop, dealing with high needs people and giving back to the parts of community that need help, such as those with mental illness.

The reason I am applying for this course is due to my hopes of becoming counsellor. The greatest good for the greatest number, stated by philosopher Jeremy Bentham, I believe I am the greatest good due to my impeccable listening skills, hard work, communications skills and organisation which would make me suitable for this course. Ise jẹ oogun fun osi (Yoruba proverb) means that work is the medicine for poverty. So studying at a higher level going into depth I can achieve wisdom and understanding even though I may be labelled as black and female I still have ability to achieve highly due to equality being on the rise and belief in meritocracy.

Recommended Statements

Submitted by anonymous

BSc Social Sciences Personal Statement

Human behaviour is complex and constantly evolving. Since studying A level Psychology, my fascination with...

Submitted by Anisa

Social Science (Foundation) Personal Statement

After researching all areas of law, criminal law is one of the aspects that enticed me into wanting to stu...

Want to learn more about a university?

Get your questions answered by sending them an enquiry now.

undergraduate Universities

Undergraduate uni's.

Uni of Roehampton

468 courses

Uni of Surrey

740 courses

Uni of Suffolk

222 courses

Bath Spa Uni

512 courses

Northeastern Uni

Uni of Leicester

436 courses

826 courses

Goldsmiths, UOL

342 courses

Uni of Bradford

393 courses

Middlesex Uni

670 courses

Uni of Hertfordshire

598 courses

Uni of Bedfordshire

651 courses

West London IoT

ARU Writtle

126 courses

Uni of Chester

630 courses

Uni of Sunderland

332 courses

Uni of East London

570 courses

893 courses

Coventry Uni

780 courses

Uni of Winchester

258 courses

467 courses

Uni for Creative Arts

610 courses

Leeds Beckett Uni

459 courses

Uni College Birmingham

193 courses

Staffordshire Uni

478 courses

Heriot-Watt Uni

337 courses

Uni of Westminster

515 courses

Queen's Uni

634 courses

Ravensbourne

103 courses

Cardiff Met Uni

500 courses

UWE, Bristol

495 courses

Nottingham Trent

930 courses

Uni of Reading

692 courses

Uni of Kent

588 courses

Highlands & Islands

451 courses

Wrexham Uni

294 courses

709 courses

Leeds Arts University

Escape Studios

Uni of Huddersfield

784 courses

Uni of C.Lancashire

795 courses

Uni of Portsmouth

779 courses

Uni of Essex

1397 courses

Uni of Hull

Kingston Uni

619 courses

Edge Hill Uni

400 courses

Uni of Brighton

521 courses

Anglia Ruskin Uni

876 courses

Swansea Uni

1360 courses

FIND THE IDEAL COURSE FOR YOU

Degree Course Quiz

Find the ideal university course for you in minutes by taking our degree matchmaker quiz today.

Latest in Clearing 2024

Queen Mary, UOL

Launch a career in finance with QMUL's expert-led Finance degree. Proximity to London's financial centre offers unique opportunities for you!

Unleash your creativity at LAU with specialist resources and the freedom to experiment.

Apply Now to study Management at QMUL, and benefit from internships with industry leaders and networking opportunities throughout your studies.

dBs Institute

Find your passion at dBs, perfectly equipped to foster your creativity!

Social sciences personal statement example

• Reading time: 3 minutes
• Price: Free download
• Published: 28th June 2019
• Word count: 746 words
• File format: Text

Growing up, I’ve always been close to my family — my aunts, uncles, and cousins. They are the first people I consult about my problems, and they’re always ready to help me when I need them, as I am whenever they need me.

One day, I discovered my uncle was an alcoholic. I denied this was true until I spoke to my cousin. She admitted that it was, and told me everything she’d been experiencing —sleepless nights, her parents fighting, and comforting her crying younger sister. This resulted in the involvement of the Children’s Aid Society. At first, I was unaware of the impact that social workers make until they helped my cousin. They opened the cage her family was trapped in. From this experience, I was inspired to open the cage for families like social workers did for mine.

I want to eradicate and help with hardships that families encounter. My cousin is not the only person to experience something so alarming. I began my research on social workers; their roles, their duties, and the challenges they faced. As I learned about the roles of a social worker, I became more determined in becoming one. It is important for social workers to contribute to the betterment of society by supporting individuals in need, resulting in a positive change.

Through research, I understood that I must obtain a Bachelor of Social Work to start my career. I consider myself an ideal student for your program as I am able to surpass your academic requirements. Furthermore, I have experience working as a part-time sales associate at Rockport. As a sales associate, I’ve developed effective communication skills by interacting with customers. I’ve accumulated organizational, listening, and critical thinking skills. For example, I had a conflict with a customer who demanded a return because they were displeased with their purchase. Our policy states that returns are permitted within 60 days of purchase, and it had been more than 60 days. To resolve this issue, I gave the customer a coupon to compensate and ensure their return to our store. I used my thinking skills to stop this issue from escalating. It is imperative for a social worker to use critical thinking skills to determine the most effective solution when dealing with problems.

In addition to my involvement in my community, I have also been involved in school. I’ve been a part of the Girls Rugby team, and a co-manager for the Ultimate Frisbee team. Being on the rugby team has given me the opportunity to enhance my cooperation and teamwork skills. My involvement as a manager taught me to be punctual and on top of things. One of my roles as a manager was to ensure the players were present and ready to play. I can easily transfer these skills into social work as you work alongside many individuals and groups such as police officers and support groups. Due to hard work and dedication, I was able to balance my extracurriculars with my school work. As a result, I received the honour roll, in grade 11 for achieving an overall average of 83%, which reflected my hard work.

This year, I have taken many social science courses to further my knowledge in the field of social work. Criminology teaches me useful theories and research methods that would help me identify issues I may encounter in social work. For example, the social strain theory believes that the lower class set middle-class goals, but don’t have means to achieve them, which results in the frustration and deviant acts. As a social worker, I would provide individuals with opportunities to help achieve their goals. In result, this will help them feel accomplished and improve their lifestyle.

Social workers strive to continuously expand their knowledge. They are able to effectively apply their new-found knowledge, as well as previous experiences to real-life conflicts that people undergo. I believe my passion towards this career will push me on the road to success and allow me to excel at Ryerson’s program immensely.

As said by Steve Jobs:

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do”.

This is a quote that I cherish, as it represents the way I want to live my life; with ambition.

13th November 2017

Related personal statements:

• Psychology degree personal statement example
• Anthropology BSc Personal Statement Example
• Clinical psychology personal statement
• Sociology personal statement
• Clinical Psychology Foundations – Masters personal statement
• Psychology personal statement example

Review this personal statement:

Latest reviews:.

There are no reviews yet. Be the first one to write one.

Leave a comment Cancel reply

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

Privacy Overview

• Ask a question Ask
• go advanced Search
• Please enter a title
• Please enter a message
• Your discussion will live here... (Start typing, we will pick a forum for you) Please select a forum Change forum View more forums... View less forums... GCSEs A-levels Applications, Clearing and UCAS University Life Student Finance England Part-time and temporary employment Chat Everyday issues Friends, family and work Relationships Health News Student Surveys and Research
• post anonymously
• All study help
• Uni applications
• University and HE colleges
• University help and courses
• University student life

Postgraduate

• Careers and jobs
• Teacher training
• Finance and accountancy
• Relationships
• Sexual health
• Give feedback or report a problem
• University and university courses
• Universities and HE colleges
• Life and style
• Entertainment
• Debate and current affairs
• Careers and Jobs
• Scottish qualifications
• Foreign languages
• GCSE articles
• A-level articles
• Exam and revision articles
• What to do after GCSEs
• What to do after A-levels
• When is A-level results day 2024?
• When is GCSE results day 2024?
• Studying, revision and exam support
• Grow your Grades

Exam results articles and chat

• Exam results homepage
• A guide to GCSE and A-level grade boundaries
• Year 13 chat
• Year 12 chat
• Year 11 chat

A-level results

• Guide to A-level results day
• Get help preparing for results day
• A-level retakes and resits
• Exam reviews and remarks
• Here’s what to expect on A-level results day
• Six ways to help results day nerves
• Understanding your A-level results slip

GCSE results

• Guide to GCSE results day
• How GCSE combined science grades work
• Stressed about GCSE results day?
• Understanding your GCSE results slip

Finding a uni in Clearing

• Clearing articles and chat
• UK university contact details
• Guide to Clearing
• Seven things people get wrong about Clearing
• How to make a great Clearing call
• Finding accommodation after Clearing
• How Clearing can help you prepare for results day
• All universities
• Applying through Ucas
• Student finance
• Personal statement
• Postgraduate study
• Uni accommodation
• University life
• All uni courses
• Apprenticeships
• Arts and humanities courses
• Stem courses
• Social science courses

Universities by region

• North of England
• South of England
• Greater London
• Distance learning
• International study

University guides and articles

• All university articles
• Applying to uni articles
• Personal statements
• Personal statement examples
• University open days
• Studying law at university
• Student life at university
• Careers and jobs discussion
• Apprenticeships discussion
• Part-time and temp jobs
• Career forums by sector
• Armed forces careers
• Consultancy careers
• Finance careers
• Legal careers
• Marketing careers
• Medicine and healthcare careers
• Public sector careers
• Stem careers
• Teaching careers
• General chat
• Relationships chat
• Friends, family and colleagues
• Advice on everyday issues
• General health
• Mental health
• UK and world politics
• Educational debate

Undergraduate

• Postgraduate Master’s Loan
• Postgraduate Doctoral Loan
• Disabled Students’ Allowances
• Taking a break or withdrawing from your course

Further information

• Parents and partners
• Advanced Learner Loan

Personal statement examples by subject: complete list

Take a look at how other students have written their personal statements

When you're writing your university personal statement, a little inspiration can be handy.

On The Student Room, we have hundreds of real personal statements written by students when they applied for university in previous years.

You'll find all of these listed below, in order of subject. 

For more help with writing your personal statement, our personal statement section  is a good place to go. You can also find tips and discussion in the personal statement advice forum .

And don't forget our sister site The Uni Guide , which has expert advice on getting your personal statement sorted.

• Accounting personal statements
• Actuarial science personal statements
• Anthropology personal statements
• Archaeology personal statements
• Architecture personal statements
• Art and design personal statements
• Biology personal statements
• Biomedical sciences personal statements
• Business, marketing and management personal statements
• Chemistry personal statements
• Classics personal statements
• Computer science, computing and IT personal statements
• Cultural studies personal statements
• Dentistry personal statements
• Economics personal statements
• Education and teaching personal statements
• Engineering personal statements
• English personal statements
• Event management personal statements
• Fashion personal statements
• Finance personal statements
• Forensic science personal statements
• Geography personal statements
• Geology personal statements
• Healthcare personal statements
• History personal statements
• International relations personal statements
• Languages personal statements
• Law personal statements
• Linguistics personal statements
• Literature personal statements
• Mathematics personal statements
• Media and communication personal statements
• Medicine personal statements
• Midwifery personal statements
• Music personal statements
• Natural sciences personal statements
• Nursing personal statements
• Performing arts personal statements
• Pharmacy personal statements
• Philosophy personal statements
• Philosophy politics and economics (PPE) personal statements
• Physics personal statements
• Politics personal statements
• Postgraduate personal statements
• Psychology personal statements
• Religious studies personal statements
• Social sciences personal statements
• Social work personal statements
• Sociology personal statements
• Sports science personal statements
• Travel and tourism personal statements
• Urban and regional planning personal statements
• Veterinary science personal statements
• Share this story :
• Share on Facebook
• Share on Twitter
• Share on Google+
• Share on Pinterest
• Latest Latest
• Trending Trending
• create my feed
• Edit my feed
• 0 new posts
• Started by: sdfj
• Forum: Forum games
• Replies: 9167
• Last post: 1 minute ago
• Started by: 04MR17
• Forum: Paris 2024 Olympic and Paralympic Games
• Replies: 15
• Started by: Talkative Toad
• Replies: 9075
• Last post: 2 minutes ago
• Started by: Dasha Ptashkina
• Forum: University of Oxford
• Started by: muledeer78
• Forum: Veterinary Medicine
• Started by: Miss.fcxxx
• Forum: Civil service, public sector and public services
• Replies: 216
• Started by: amrita.sth
• Forum: Personal Statement Advice
• Started by: well...
• Forum: Mental health
• Last post: 3 minutes ago
• Started by: JDINCINERATOR
• Forum: Society
• Last post: 4 minutes ago
• Started by: electric-shakedo
• Forum: Finance, Economics, Business and Management (MBA & MSc) Postgraduate Study
• Last post: 5 minutes ago
• Forum: University life
• Last post: 7 minutes ago
• Started by: Anonymous
• Forum: Relationships
• Last post: 9 minutes ago
• Started by: Jstrwblz
• Forum: A-levels
• Replies: 68
• Last post: 10 minutes ago
• Replies: 9215
• Last post: 11 minutes ago
• Replies: 28
• Last post: 14 minutes ago
• Started by: Joella.1
• Forum: Birmingham City University
• Last post: 15 minutes ago
• Started by: ari989
• Replies: 10
• Started by: studysturdy
• Forum: Legal careers and training
• Started by: aishaslm
• Replies: 145
• Last post: 52 minutes ago
• Started by: Sandtrooper
• Forum: Cambridge Postgraduate
• Replies: 8115
• Last post: 1 hour ago
• Started by: Lazlay
• Replies: 559
• Last post: 2 hours ago
• Started by: reubenn05
• Forum: Medical Schools
• Replies: 954
• Last post: 6 hours ago
• Started by: finleybevan
• Forum: Apprenticeships and alternatives to university
• Replies: 385
• Last post: 7 hours ago
• Started by: Lc627183
• Replies: 195
• Last post: 17 hours ago
• Started by: Scotland Yard
• Forum: Medicine
• Replies: 137
• Last post: 20 hours ago
• Started by: asdfjkmel
• Forum: Graduate Schemes
• Replies: 2652
• Last post: 1 day ago
• Forum: Chemistry Exams
• Replies: 809
• Forum: University College London
• Replies: 82
• Started by: KA_P
• Replies: 52
• Forum: Oxford Postgraduate
• Replies: 4597
• Started by: jambarnzi
• Replies: 61
• Last post: 2 days ago
• Started by: MOZSH
• Replies: 459
• Started by: Oatmilklattepls
• Forum: Performing arts and music
• Replies: 2878
• Started by: Fiyero
• Replies: 160
• Started by: miss_nia
• Replies: 80
• Last post: 3 days ago
• Started by: mjpd2019
• Replies: 2102
• Last post: 5 days ago
• Basic life skills (eg cooking)
• Financial skills (eg taxes, budgeting)
• First aid skills
• Personal safety skills
• Sign language
• Expanded sexual health
• Something else (tell us in the thread)

The Student Room and The Uni Guide are both part of The Student Room Group.

• Main topics
• GCSE and A-level
• Exam results
• Life and relationships

Get Started

• Today's posts
• Unanswered posts
• Community guidelines
• TSR help centre
• Cookies & online safety
• Terms & conditions
• Privacy notice

Connect with TSR

© Copyright The Student Room 2023 all rights reserved

The Student Room and The Uni Guide are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: Imperial House, 2nd Floor, 40-42 Queens Road, Brighton, East Sussex, BN1 3XB

• Custom Writing Service
• Review and Critique Service
• Editing Service
• Critique and Editing Service
• Our Services
• Our Guarantees
• Our Writers
• Recommended Use Policy
• Terms and Conditions
• Our Company
• FREE SAMPLES

Social Sciences Personal Statement

This is a sample personal statement written by our professional writer. Please note that our website is scanned by various anti-plagiarism software, so do not attempt to copy/paste this personal statement. You will get caught and your university career will be over before it has begun! To get a custom-written personal statement, just complete the order form and we will write an original personal statement, based specifically on the information you give us, which will never be published or resold.

Nothing intrigues me more than unearthing the driving factors that make society tick. From trying to understand the beliefs and ideologies that shape society, to the personal experiences and behaviour that develop our individual characters, the social sciences hold the key to a wealth of knowledge and learning.

I was first drawn towards the social sciences when I moved into secondary education. After years of what felt like enduring a repetitive cycle of studying mathematics, English and the physical sciences I wanted a complete change, something to interest me as I was committed to developing my higher education as far as I possibly could. I went to enrol at college with an open mind, and my attention was quickly drawn towards the subjects of politics and government, sociology and psychology. I had never had the option of studying these topics before and after arriving at my college rather subdued, I left with a real sense of excitement about taking my first steps into further education.

At first I found these subjects to be rather simplistic, and was easily able to relate what I was learning to the world around me. This was, however, just the tip of the iceberg with respect to each subject and little did I know about the wealth of knowledge I was about to be exposed to.

While I imagine each of these topics alone would provide enthralling study, I found this overarching study of social science I had chosen to take on gave me an excellent overview. Learning about each of these individual areas I was able to understand how society worked from a variety of different perspectives. It was also important to learn the vast array of differing theories as to how society works, and how individuals are driven, and how all of these factors and behaviours are related and affect one another.

The most appealing elements of my studies was the fact that unlike many physical sciences there were, in the pursuit to understand social science, relatively few absolute truths. This field of study is filled with conflicting theories, opinions and arguments and there is constantly changing in tandem with the world around us.

I am now looking to further develop my understanding of social science with a view to starting my own research. I have found myself drawn towards the sociological area of study more so than any other, but firmly believe and overarching understanding of social science will be of more benefit when it comes to compiling accurate and fully reflective studies. I have already started to develop very strong beliefs, but want to be able to fully investigate and bring them to the fore in the most accurate and strongest possible way.

I feel understanding and interpreting social science is a valuable tool in bringing the world around us closer together. Once we can all appreciate this wonderful diversity and the way in which it all relates I feel the world will be a better place and I wish to be part of this study by developing my own understanding of social science.

Your personal statement is vital in ensuring you get the university place you want. Don’t take a chance with it. Secure your university place today!

Recovery password

• Accessibility Options:
• Skip to Content
• Skip to Search
• Skip to footer
• Office of Disability Services
• Request Assistance
• 305-284-2374
• High Contrast
• School of Architecture
• College of Arts and Sciences
• Miami Herbert Business School
• School of Communication
• School of Education and Human Development
• College of Engineering
• School of Law
• Rosenstiel School of Marine, Atmospheric, and Earth Science
• Miller School of Medicine
• Frost School of Music
• School of Nursing and Health Studies
• The Graduate School
• Division of Continuing and International Education
• People Search
• Class Search
• IT Help and Support
• Privacy Statement
• Student Life
• University of Miami
• Division of University Communications
• Office of Media Relations
• Miller School of Medicine Communications
• Hurricane Sports
• UM Media Experts
• Emergency Preparedness
• Awards & Honors
• Career Development
• Press Releases
• Student Scholarships
• Student Spotlight
• More Headlines
• Admissions Events
• Alumni Events
• Continuing Legal Education
• Publications
• Prospective Students
• Faculty & Academics
• Alumni & Giving
• Latest Headlines
• Subscribe to News@TheU Newsletter
• UM NEWS HOME

Tips for Writing Your Master of Legal Studies Personal Statement

By Miami Law Blog Contributor 07-25-2024

Applying to a Master of Legal Studies (M.L.S.) program is an excellent first step in advancing your legal knowledge in your respective field. Each M.L.S. program sets its own requirements for application and admittance—yet for any graduate-level program, it is common for a personal statement to be required as part of any application.

Read on for practical tips to integrate into your statement, along with common mistakes to avoid.

Understanding the Importance of Your Personal Statement

A personal statement refers to an essay that is typically required as part of a college or graduate program application (most often for advanced degree programs).

The Role of the   Personal Statement   in Your Application

Personal statements give applicants a unique opportunity to share additional information about themselves that may not already be reflected in their academic transcripts, resumes, or other application materials. In advanced degree programs where spots may be limited, a personal statement could make or break an application.

Preparing to Write Your M.L.S. Personal Statement

As you prepare to write your personal statement, there are a few steps that can make the writing process as easy as possible.

Gathering Necessary Information and Resources

Start by collecting any specific information, resources, or documents you may need to write your M.L.S. personal statement accurately. This is especially essential if you plan on referring to your academic transcripts, awards received, or other formal documents in your text.

Identifying Your Unique Qualities and Experiences

Compelling personal statements tend to be ones that communicate an applicant's distinct experiences and qualities. With this in mind, it is useful to set aside time for self-reflection before you start writing. Specifically, consider the personality traits you have that might make you a good fit for the program. In addition, think about any examples of life experiences that you may want to incorporate into your essay.

Tips for a Successful Personal Statement for Legal Studies

As you begin crafting your Master of Legal Studies personal statement, keep in mind some best practices to help your essay stand out from the dozens (or hundreds) of essays your admissions committee will be reading.

Start With an Outline

When writing any kind of important document, it is wise to start with a  detailed outline  that includes your thesis, your main points, and any supporting evidence (such as real-world examples or stories). Once you have a solid outline, you may find it considerably easier to start writing.

Be Authentic and Honest

One of the most crucial characteristics of any successful personal statement is authenticity. While there iss nothing wrong with highlighting your strengths and even bragging a bit, you want to avoid dishonesty or anything that might come off as less than genuine.

Highlight Your Interest in Legal Studies

One of the main reasons many M.L.S. programs require a personal statement is because in the first place, the admissions committee wants to truly get to know applicants and what interests them in a legal studies program. Therefore, it is critical to clearly communicate why you want to pursue an M.L.S. degree, whether it is to expand your knowledge in a specific area or advance your career.

Demonstrate Critical Thinking and Analytical Skills

Completing an M.L.S. program requires a great deal of critical thinking, analytical, and problem-solving skills. You can demonstrate how you possess these skills in your personal statement by sharing specific stories or examples of situations where you have been required to think outside of the box or make an important, calculated decision.

Avoid Common Pitfalls and Cliches

There are certain phrases and tropes that M.L.S. admissions committees have probably seen in personal statements hundreds of times already, so it is ideal to avoid these in your writing. Try to ensure every sentence is truly unique and not something you would find in other essays—or that could be easily upstaged by other applicants. A few examples of content and cliches to avoid could include:

• Discussing legal topics or issues that might be controversial.
• Focusing too much on the external world or other people instead of your own goals and experiences.
• Starting with a quote, statistic, abstract question, or anything else that directs the attention away from you .
• Leaning too heavily into sharing personal hardships (particularly cliches like a sports injury) to prove how you have overcome struggles.
• Pulling from scenarios in the distant past (such as how you learned to be a team player in high school extracurriculars or opening with, “My passion for legal matters began at a young age…”)

Showcase Your Unique Experience

Everybody has something different to bring to the table, but your admissions committee will not understand the scope of your personal experience unless you address it in your personal statement. If you have relevant work experience, a background in legal education, or something else that sets you apart, be sure to weave it into your M.L.S. personal statement.

Emphasize Your Motivation for Pursuing a Master of Legal Studies

People have various motivations for obtaining an M.L.S. degree. Your personal statement is your chance to highlight your own reasons for wanting to pursue this degree. Remember that your reasoning should not be all about  you , so it can be useful to consider how earning your M.L.S. might help others or even contribute to the field as a whole.

Highlight Your Academic Achievements

Even if your academic achievements are already covered in an academic transcript, resume, or other application materials, your M.L.S. personal statement can be an opportunity to succinctly call out anything noteworthy or particularly relevant that might not be immediately apparent in those documents. Ideally, you can connect these achievements to a personal story or anecdote in your essay.

Incorporate Your Future Goals

Take time to reflect on your short- and long-term goals as well as how obtaining an M.L.S. degree may help you pursue those goals. This is something you'll also want to cover in your personal statement, most likely toward the end of the document.

Be Open to Feedback from Peers

One of the best things you can do when creating your personal statement is to get feedback from peers. After you have finished your first draft, do not hesitate to ask family members, mentors, or trusted friends to read through your essay and make comments. This can be an excellent way to gain and incorporate valuable feedback that could strengthen your essay even more.

Take the Time to Proofread

Even with built-in spell checkers in most word processing software today, it is still crucial to actually read through your essay and do your own proofreading before submitting your personal statement. A helpful rule of thumb is to read through the document twice: The first time, read it out loud to check for flow and grammatical errors. The second time,  read it backwards  to better spot typos and misspellings.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

As you work on your personal statement for your M.L.S., you’ll also want to make note of some errors to avoid.

Being Too Vague or Generic

In many cases, your personal statement is your one opportunity to really make your application stand out—so make sure to avoid language that is overly vague or generic. Instead, refer to specific life experiences and the unique qualities you would carry into a graduate-level program.

Overloading on Legal Jargon

As tempting as it may be to flaunt your knowledge of legal jargon in your Master of Legal Studies personal statement, remember that the admissions committee members reading your essay might  not  be in the legal field. With this in mind, it is best to stick with simple language regarding the law. There is nothing wrong with incorporating a few common legal terms here and there, but this is not the time to overdo it with the terminology.

Ignoring the Prompt or Instructions

One of the biggest mistakes applicants make when crafting a personal statement is ignoring the prompt and going in their own direction. Oftentimes, writing prompts will include specific questions to answer or topics to address. Failing to closely adhere to the prompt may demonstrate to your admissions committee that you are not detail-oriented or do not follow directions carefully.

How Long Should My Personal Statement Be?

Generally speaking, most personal statements should be at least a page or 500 words long, but this will all depend on your program's specific guidelines regarding word counts, page limits, spacing, and font sizes.

How Do I Start My Personal Statement?

The best way to start a personal statement is with a "hook," or something that will capture your readers' attention and interest. Many applicants find success beginning their essays with a personal anecdote, a question, or even a surprising fact.

What Topics Should I Avoid in My Personal Statement?

Try to steer clear of any taboo topics that might stir up controversy (e.g., politics and religion), as you never know who might be reading your essay. Additionally, avoid discussing personal struggles that lack a clear, relevant resolution or lesson. Lastly, do not include information that is redundant with skills, accomplishments, or credentials already clearly listed on your resume or transcripts; put a spin on it so you are sharing a personal story, insight, or competency that the reader could not glean from your application elsewhere.

How Can I Make My Personal Statement Stand Out?

There are plenty of ways to set your personal statement apart from other essays, such as incorporating personal anecdotes and experiences while tying them back to your motivation for applying. The more creative yet authentic you remain, the more memorable and compelling your essay will be to the admissions committee reading it.

Ready to Apply for a Master of Legal Studies Program?

Ultimately, writing an M.L.S. personal statement is all about reflecting upon why you are interested in the program and what might set you apart from other applicants. By following the above tips and best practices, you will be in better shape when it comes time to write your personal statement for legal studies.

Are you seeking the right  online Master of Legal Studies  degree program for you? Learn more about the University of Miami School of Law's  online M.L.S. curriculum  with tracks in human resources, cybersecurity, finance, and more—then get started with your online  application  today.

https://admissions.law.miami.edu/academics/mls/

https://admissions.law.miami.edu/academics/mls/curriculum/

https://lifehacker.com/think-backwards-when-proofreading-your-writing-for-spel-1793189994

Campus Visit Reservation Form

Learn about us, j.d., ll.m., and s.j.d., get started.

University of Miami School of Law

• 1311 Miller Drive Coral Gables , FL 33146
• [email protected]
• Current Students
• Careers - OCPD

Quick Links

• Academic Calendar - Law School
• Academic Calendar - University
• Events Calendar

Communications

• For the Media
• Web Feedback
• ABA Required Disclosures
• Policies & Privacy Statements
• Visiting the Law School
• Parking & Transportation
• social-facebook
• social-twitter
• social-youtube
• social-instagram
• social-linkedin
• social-threads

Copyright: 2024 University of Miami. All Rights Reserved. Emergency Information Privacy Statement & Legal Notices Title IX & Gender Equity Website Feedback

Individuals with disabilities who experience any technology-based barriers accessing the University’s websites or services can visit the Office of Workplace Equity and Inclusion .

• Faculty & Staff
• Graduate Students
• Parents & Families
• Prospective Students
• First Generation
• International
• Students With Disabilities
• Undeclared and Exploratory
• Agriculture, Food, Forestry, and Natural Resources
• Architecture and Construction
• Arts, Media, and Communications
• Business Management and Finance
• Data Science and Information Technology
• Education, Training, and Human Services
• Government, Public Administration, Policy, and Law
• Healthcare and Health Sciences
• Hospitality, Recreation, and Tourism
• Marketing, Operations, and Supply Chain Logistics
• Science, Technology, Engineering, and Math (STEM)
• Create a Resume/CV/Cover Letter
• Expand Your Network/Find a Mentor
• Explore Your Interests/Career Assessments
• Evaluate/Negotiate an Offer
• Prepare for an Interview
• Applying to Graduate & Professional School
• Search for a Job/Internship
• Getting Started
• Co-op Program Options
• Employer Guide to Co-ops & Internships
• Sign Up/Post a Job
• On-Campus Recruiting Visits
• Employer Partner Program
• Recruiting Guidelines
• First Destination Survey Reports
• Interactive Career Outcomes Dashboard
• Report Your Post-Grad Plans
• Appointment & Drop-Ins
• Request a Presentation
• Career Center Overview
• Meet Our Team

How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School

• Share This: Share How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School on Facebook Share How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School on LinkedIn Share How to Write a Powerful Personal Statement for Medical School on X

The personal statement can make or break your medical school application. Learn how to write it and strategies to make it stand out to admissions committees in this expert guide.

Essays are one of the most important parts of any graduate school application. Whereas your resume, letters of recommendation, and standardized test scores speak to your achievements and academic potential, your essays are where you can make a human argument based on your unique candidacy; they tell the story of a person rather than of numbers.

Typically, aspiring MD candidates will need to submit several essays. The personal statement or personal comments essay is submitted through the American Medical College Application Service (AMCAS), a centralized application that most medical schools use (outside of Texas), similar to the Common App. This application opens for submission around the end of May or the beginning of June. After you submit your AMCAS application, you’ll also need to submit a secondary application that goes directly to the schools you’re applying to. Depending on the program, this may be open to everyone or extended on an invitation-only basis. This secondary application usually includes several other essays or short-answer questions that are more specific to what the school is looking for.

Though there is a standard that your scores, GPA, and experience need to meet, the essays really can make or break your chances of admission. In this article, we’ll go over what makes a good personal statement, how to get started on yours, and some actionable strategies for success.

What is the Personal Statement?

The “personal statement essay” can be found in section eight of the AMCAS application. The simple, vague prompt is as follows:

“Use the space provided to explain why you want to go to medical school.”

This prompt is purposefully left broad–the admissions committees want to see where applicants go in their responses. In short, they really want the answer to two things:

• Why should we admit you , specifically?
• Why medicine?

On its website, AMCAS says that this essay “provides an opportunity to distinguish yourself from other applicants and provide admissions officers with more insight into why you have chosen to pursue a career in medicine.” In other words, your response should make a compelling case for what you will bring to the table and clearly outline how your path so far has led you to medical school.

Med School Personal Statement Length

The personal comments essay has a character limit of 5,300, which includes spaces. This translates to about a page and a half worth of words. TMDSAS, the Texan equivalent of AMCAS, has a character limit of 5,000.

How Long Will My Personal Statement Take?

Like with any part of the application, timing is everything. Thankfully, medical school applications don’t require too much writing. Still, we recommend giving yourself at least a month on the personal statement (several if you’re able to) so that you have time to iterate on a few different drafts, sit on it, and get feedback.

For more advice on timing the application process, read The Ultimate Guide to the Medical School Application Process .

How to Write a Med School Personal Statement

Often, the most difficult part is getting started; but, it’s hard to do so without a plan. Before you begin writing, it can be helpful to have an idea of your overarching narrative and the role that you want the essay to play. At a foundational level, you also just need to have a really solid understanding of who you are and what your motivations are for pursuing medicine. After all that, you’ll get to writing. Here’s a step-by-step playback for getting from start to finish on your personal statement.

Step 1: Ideate

Before you put pen to paper, think about the following questions and jot a few ideas down. If there are any that you’re struggling with, ask the people around you! Parents/guardians and close friends can be especially helpful in identifying your strengths and what makes you unique.

• What are the main life decisions I made in the last ten years and why did I make them? What values/thoughts/rationale remained consistent across these decisions?
• What character traits do I want to show the admissions committee? What are some examples of when I demonstrated these traits?
• What are my strengths and weaknesses?
• When did I first believe that I wanted to be a doctor? What experiences originally led to that and then later cemented it as a goal?
• What are the main takeaways from my clinical (and other relevant) experience? What did I learn? What stuck with me?
• What parts of my candidacy are not well represented in the other parts of my application?
• Why do I want to go med school? (get specific)
• What do I want my professional career to look like in 15 years? In 30?
• What motivates me–professionally and personally?

In any graduate school application, you’re trying to strike a balance between providing a comprehensive view of your candidacy and not overwhelming with unnecessary information. For this reason, it can be extremely valuable to have an idea of the overall story you want to tell. Think about your “elevator pitch” and use the essay to build on that. If you’re not sure what experiences or characteristics are the most impactful, you can also work with a coach . They’ll help you identify what’s most important to talk about, and to leave out, and can also work with you to draft an outline.

Step 2: Write a draft (it’s okay if it’s terrible)

Once you’ve got some direction, the next step is to just get your thoughts on paper. Sit down and force yourself to brain dump. It does not have to be pretty, it does not have to make sense, it does not have to be comprehensive. From there, leave it for a day. When you come back, highlight the parts that still resonate and make a note of anything missing.

Step 3: Review and edit, repeat

Based on the comments you left yourself on your preliminary thoughts, write a second draft. This time, pay a little more attention to the overall flow. Support your main ideas with real evidence in the form of stories and anecdotes. Be concise and get to the point–when your characters are limited, it’s important to not waste any on irrelevant details or extraneous verbiage. Once you’ve done this, set your draft aside for a bit. Come back to it later and make it better. Then, repeat the process. To get a really good personal statement, you’re going to want to go through many different drafts.

Step 4: Get feedback

Once you’ve got a draft that you feel good about, we highly recommend getting a second perspective. The ideal editor is someone who has a basic understanding of your background but does not know you in-depth, as this would make it difficult for them to judge the essay objectively. A friend-of-a-friend, friend-of-a-mentor, professor, or med school admissions coach are all great choices. It’s a bonus if they have any kind of writing or editorial experience.

This third-party review will help you figure out what’s working and what’s not. From this point, and depending on the feedback, you may be close to a final draft.

Step 5: Read it out loud

We know–this sounds weird, but do it. When you read your essay out loud, you hear it as the admissions committee member will. It’s easier to find the gaps, identify missing transitions, see where you’re rambling, and get an overall idea of the impression it gives.

Step 6: Review, final edits, and spellcheck

Once you feel really, really good about your response, read it for a final time. Make sure that there are no grammatical or spelling errors. Then, you’ll copy and paste it into section eight of the AMCAS application, and it’s ready to go!

Caution: Don’t overdo it

Though it’s better to err on the side of too much editing over too little, it is possible to overdo it. If you stare at your writing long enough, everything starts to sound the same. And, for those of us who are perfectionists, it’s easy to feel like it’s never good enough . In most cases, it probably is. There comes to a point where you’ve done all you can and it’s time to submit. A good coach can help you gauge when this is but it also takes knowing yourself. If you start to get overwhelmed or frustrated, it’s completely okay (and even beneficial) to step back for a few days. Then, when you return, you’re coming in with a fresh and slightly more removed perspective.

Medical School Personal Statement Tips

Now that we’ve covered what the personal statement is and how to get it written, we’ll dive into some specifics on how to make it great , including things to do and avoid .

Lean into what makes you different from the other applicants.

After reading your personal statement, you want the admissions committees to think, “If we don’t admit this person right now, we might never get another applicant like them!” No pressure, right? Just kidding, we know this is tough to do! You will come from the same schools as other applicants and have the same majors, the same work experiences, the same hometowns, and the same GPAs. What’s different is how you went through all of that. Your perspective, how you interact with the world, and what you take away are all unique to you.

In the examples you share and your overall argument for admission, make sure you address this and don’t be afraid to get specific. A good test is this: if someone else could have written your exact same personal statement, it’s not unique enough.

Know what your personal statement is not.

You’re applying to medical schools, not creative writing programs. With this in mind, your personal statement should not be an exercise in writing the most experimental personal statement. The power in personal statements comes from the applicant’s background and story, not their writing abilities. To be clear, your statement should still be written well; but, you don’t need to get too fancy.

Don’t lose sight of the prompt.

With broader topics like this, it’s easy to get sucked into a tangent and pretty soon, you’re giving your entire life story. And, while you do want to explain your path, you’re doing so with a specific reason in mind. Your personal statement should explain exactly why you want to be a physician . If your stories aren’t directly relevant to that purpose, take them out.

For this, it can be helpful to examine your personal statement paragraph by paragraph. Imagine your response without that section–does the primary message still get across? Is it contributing something valuable or is it extraneous?

Don’t recite your resume.

This is your classic “show, don’t tell” advice. Use examples to support the qualities that you want the adcom to see, rather than listing your accomplishments and what you think they demonstrate. Here’s an example:

• Applicant 1: For two years, I shadowed a family physician in my city where I learned the day-to-day responsibilities required to succeed in the field.
• Applicant 2: For two years, I shadowed a family physician in my city. This taught me how successful doctors in this field need to understand a variety of issues, problem-solve constantly, and develop real relationships with their patients.

Which one is more compelling? They’re essentially saying the same thing, but the second applicant explains what the first only claims.

Keep the focus on you.

You are the main character of the personal statement. While many stories will also involve other people–mentors, patients, friends, family members, etc…–make sure that the focus remains on what you demonstrated. That’s not to say you should only have stories that don’t include others. Tell the same stories but do so in a way that highlights the role you played.

When you’re reviewing any given anecdote, ask yourself: “What does the admissions committee learn about me from this?” If you can’t point to direct and specific things, it needs to be reworked.

Source: https://www.joinleland.com/library/a/medical-school-personal-statement-tips

• Applying to Uni
• Apprenticeships
• Health & Relationships
• Money & Finance
• Personal Statements
• Postgraduate
• U.S Universities
• University Interviews
• Vocational Qualifications
• Accommodation
• ​​​​​​​Budgeting, Money & Finance
• ​​​​​​​Health & Relationships
• ​​​​​​​Jobs & Careers
• ​​​​​​​Socialising
• Studying Abroad
• ​​​​​​​Studying & Revision
• ​​​​​​​Technology
• ​​​​​​​University & College Admissions

Guide to GCSE Results Day

Finding a job after school or college

Retaking GCSEs

In this section

Choosing GCSE Subjects

Post-GCSE Options

GCSE Work Experience

GCSE Revision Tips

Why take an Apprenticeship?

Applying for an Apprenticeship

Apprenticeships Interviews

Apprenticeship Wage

Engineering Apprenticeships

What is an Apprenticeship?

Choosing an Apprenticeship

Real Life Apprentices

Degree Apprenticeships

Higher Apprenticeships

A Level Results Day 2024

AS Levels 2024

Clearing Guide 2024

Applying to University

SQA Results Day Guide 2024

BTEC Results Day Guide

Vocational Qualifications Guide

Sixth Form or College

International Baccalaureate

Post 18 options

Finding a Job

Should I take a Gap Year?

Travel Planning

Volunteering

Gap Year Blogs

Top Rated Personal Statements

Personal Statement Examples

Writing Your Personal Statement

Postgraduate Personal Statements

International Student Personal Statements

Gap Year Personal Statements

Personal Statement Length Checker

Personal Statement Examples By University

Personal Statement Editing and Review Service

Personal Statement Changes 2025

Personal Statement Template

Job Interviews

Types of Postgraduate Course

Writing a Postgraduate Personal Statement

Postgraduate Funding

Postgraduate Study

Internships

Choosing A College

Ivy League Universities

Common App Essay Examples

Universal College Application Guide

How To Write A College Admissions Essay

College Rankings

Admissions Tests

Fees & Funding

Scholarships

Budgeting For College

Online Degree

Platinum Express Editing and Review Service

Gold Editing and Review Service

Silver Express Editing and Review Service

UCAS Personal Statement Editing and Review Service

Oxbridge Personal Statement Editing and Review Service

Postgraduate Personal Statement Editing and Review Service

You are here

Social studies personal statement example.

I have chosen to study a Social Studies Degree as it is a passion of mine to work with young people and provide opportunities for them that wasn’t there for me. I’ve always had the responsibility of putting other people before myself and being there for others, from the age of thirteen standing in for my mother was my duty- where other children my age had regular tasks of house cleaning and regular chores I also had the tasks of looking after my younger brother and being there for my younger relatives.

When my younger brother was born I realised that when someone relies on you and looks up to you and learns from your behaviour and your example, you have to better yourself and be the best role model you can be- you are the tools that can help build another individual. Social Studies has always been an interest of mine from since studying Child Development for my GCSE’s, learning about the development of children fascinated me and made me want to learn more and gain more in depth information. For this reason, during my first year of sixth form I studied the L2 Childcare qualification along with Health and Social Care and then went on to study the L3 CACHE Diploma in Childcare and Education.

Whilst studying Childcare at levels two and three I gained a lot of experience in theory and practical work, I began to learn more about equality, diversity, human rights and inclusive practise. Through this I gained a lot of skills which help me to realise first and foremost where I wanted to go with my qualifications and secondly that there was more I wanted to use them for.

I studied at Lambeth College where I held the position of student ambassador, some of the responsibilities of my role were to represent the college at specific events; going out in to the public (schools, colleges e.g.) and make the students or aware of what our college has to offer. Other tasks assigned to were taking leadership of the other ambassadors during events and talking about previous experiences that I had to potential ambassadors and future college students.

I now currently study at Middlesex University where I have started my firts year in the Youth Justice course, admittedly due to alot of financial circumstances I have not been able to apply myself as well as I originally intended to. Which is why I now would like to start over, and refresh my knowledge in better surroundings where I can dedicate myslef appropriately and continue to finish my degree and get closer to my future career.

My free time or social life outside of education revolve around trying to keep myself healthy, I attend dance class weekly learning how to keep the body supple through specific movements and stretches. I play and have played basketball from since the age of nine, and as often as possible I like to spend time in the gym where I do a lot of running, swimming and using the gym equipment. I also attend a lot of my younger brother’s tae kwondo and football sessions, initially to help him strive for whatever it is he aspires to be.

Over the last five years studying childcare, I have worked in a variety of childcare centres; from day nurseries to summer day camp programmes. Observing how the experienced CCE workers (childcare and education workers) work allowed me to see and get first hand experience on how things are on a day to day basis in many different settings; I was able to understand the real duty and intensity of how things can be or get in a setting.

To help further my experience and allow me to prepare for theoretical and practical work in Social- Youth Justice and or Community Work I have decided to apply for some voluntary work with a youth organisation that deals with young people that are at risk of offending. I believe it will help broaden my knowledge and allow begin to prepare myself for work and studies in my chosen field.

Profile info

This personal statement was written by Jonitta for application in 2010.

Jonitta's university choices University of Greenwich London Metropolitan University

Green : offer made Red : no offer made

This personal statement is unrated

Related Personal Statements

Wed, 24/07/2013 - 06:52

Very neat article post.Much thanks again.

Fri, 02/08/2013 - 16:11

Looking forward to reading more. Great blog post. Great.

Add new comment