essay on bad friend

French teenagers on a boat in the Seine river, Paris, 1988. Photo by David Alan Harvey/Magnum

Bad friends

Even the best of friends can fill you with tension and make you sick. why does friendship so readily turn toxic.

by Carlin Flora   + BIO

Think of a time when you sat across from a friend and felt truly understood. Deeply known. Maybe you sensed how she was bringing out your ‘best self’, your cleverest observations and wittiest jokes. She encouraged you. She listened, articulated one of your patterns, and then gently suggested how you might shift it for the better. The two of you gossiped about your mutual friends, skipped between shared memories, and delved into cherished subjects in a seamlessly scripted exchange full of shorthand and punctuated with knowing expressions. Perhaps you felt a warm swell of admiration for her, and a simultaneous sense of pride in your similarity to her. You felt deep satisfaction to be valued by someone you held in such high regard: happy, nourished and energised through it all.

These are the friendships that fill our souls, and bolster and shape our identities and life paths. They have also been squeezed into social science labs enough times for us to know that they keep us mentally and physically healthy: good friends improve immunity , spark creativity , drop our blood pressure , ward off dementia among the elderly , and even decrease our chances of dying at any given time. If you feel you can’t live without your friends, you’re not being melodramatic.

But even our easiest and richest friendships can be laced with tensions and conflicts, as are most human relationships. They can lose a bit of their magic and fail to regain it, or even fade out altogether for tragic reasons, or no reason at all. Then there are the not-so-easy friendships; increasingly difficult friendships; and bad, gut-wrenching, toxic friendships. The pleasures and benefits of good friends are abundant, but they come with a price. Friendship, looked at through a clear and wide lens, is far messier and more lopsided than it is often portrayed.

The first cold splash on an idealised notion of friendship is the data showing that only about half of friendships are reciprocal . This is shocking to people, since research confirms that we actually assume nearly all our friendships are reciprocal. Can you guess who on your list of friends wouldn’t list you?

One explanation for imbalance is that many friendships are aspirational : a study of teens shows that people want to be friends with popular people, but those higher up the social hierarchy have their pick (and skew the average). A corroborating piece of evidence, which was highlighted by Steven Strogatz in a 2012 article in The New York Times, is the finding that your Facebook ‘friends’ always have, on average, more ‘friends’ than you do. So much for friendship being an oasis from our status-obsessed world.

‘Ambivalent’ relationships, in social science parlance, are characterised by interdependence and conflict. You have many positive and negative feelings toward these people. You might think twice about picking up when they call. These relationships turn out to be common, too. Close to half of one’s important social network members are identified as ambivalent. Granted, more of those are family members (whom we’re stuck with) than friends, but still, for friendship, it’s another push off the pedestal.

Friends who are loyal, reliable, interesting companions – good! – can also be bad for you, should they have other qualities that are less desirable. We know through social network research that depressed friends make it more likely you’ll be depressed, obese friends make it more likely you’ll become obese, and friends who smoke or drink a lot make it more likely you’ll smoke and drink more.

Other ‘good’ friends might have, or start to have, goals, values or habits that misalign with your current or emerging ones. They certainly haven’t ‘done’ anything to you. But they aren’t a group that validates who you are, or that will effortlessly lift you up toward your aims over time. Stay with them, and you’ll be walking against the wind.

In addition to annoying us, these mixed-bag friendships harm our health. A 2003 study by Julianne Holt-Lunstad from Brigham Young University and Bert Uchino from the University of Utah asked people to wear blood-pressure monitors and write down interactions with various people. Blood pressure was higher with ambivalent relationships than it was with friends or outright enemies. This is probably due to the unpredictability of these relationships, which leads us to be vigilant: Will Jen ruin Christmas this year? Ambivalent relationships have also been associated with increased cardiovascular reactivity, greater cellular ageing , lowered resistance to stress, and a decreased sense of wellbeing.

One research team, though, found that ambivalent friendships might have benefits in the workplace. They showed that in these pairings workers are more likely to put themselves in the other’s shoes, in part because they are trying to figure out what the relationship means and what it is. Also, because ambivalent friendships make you feel uncertain about where you stand, they can push you to work harder to establish your position.

‘Frenemies’ are perhaps a separate variety in that they are neatly multi-layered – friendliness atop rivalry or dislike – as opposed to the ambivalent relationship’s admixture of love, hate, annoyance, pity, devotion and tenderness. Plenty of people have attested to the motivating force of a frenemy at work, as well as in the realms of romance and parenting.

A s with unhappy families, there are countless ways a friend can be full-on ‘bad’, no ambivalence about it. Susan Heitler, a clinical psychologist in Denver, and Sharon Livingston, a psychologist and marketing consultant in New York, have studied the issue, and found some typical qualities: a bad friend makes you feel competitive with her other friends; she talks much more about herself than you do about yourself; she criticises you in a self-righteous way but is defensive when you criticise her; she makes you feel you’re walking on eggshells and might easily spark her anger or disapproval; she has you on an emotional rollercoaster where one day she’s responsive and complimentary and the next she freezes you out.

In 2014 , a team at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh found that, as the amount of negativity in relationships increased for healthy women aged over 50, so did their risk of developing hypertension. Negative social interactions – incidents including excessive demands, criticism, disappointment and disagreeable exchanges – were related to a 38 per cent increased risk. For men, there was no link between bad relationships and high blood pressure. This is likely because women care more about, and are socialised to pay more attention to, relationships.

Negative interactions can lead to inflammation, too, in both men and women. Jessica Chiang, a researcher at the University of California, Los Angeles, who conducted a study showing as much, has said that an accumulation of social stressors could cause physical damage, just like an actual toxin.

Some of our most hurtful friendships start out good, but then became bad. Among teens, for example, the rates of cyber aggression are 4.3 times higher between friends than between friends of friends. Or as Diane de Poitiers, the 16th-century mistress of King Henry II of France, said: ‘To have a good enemy, choose a friend: he knows where to strike.’

The writer Robert Greene addresses the slippery slope in his book The 48 Laws of Power (1998). Bringing friends into your professional endeavours can aid the gradual crossover from ‘good’ to ‘bad’, he warns, in part because of how we react to grand favours:

Strangely enough, it is your act of kindness that unbalances everything. People want to feel they deserve their good fortune. The receipt of a favour can become oppressive: it means you have been chosen because you are a friend, not necessarily because you are deserving. There is almost a touch of condescension in the act of hiring friends that secretly afflicts them. The injury will come out slowly: a little more honesty, flashes of resentment and envy here and there, and before you know it your friendship fades.

Ah – so too much giving and ‘a little more honesty’ are friendship-disrupters? That conclusion, which runs counter to the ethos of total openness and unlimited generosity between friends, provides a clue as to why there are so many ‘bad’, ‘good and bad’, and ‘good, then bad’ friends. In his paper ‘The Evolution of Reciprocal Altruism’ (1971), the evolutionary biologist Robert Trivers concludes that ‘each individual human is seen as possessing altruistic and cheating tendencies’, where cheating means giving at least a bit less (or taking at least a bit more) than a friend would give or take from us.

Good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps)

Trivers goes on to explain that we have evolved to be subtle cheaters, with complex mechanisms for regulating bigger cheaters and also ‘too much’ altruism. He writes:

In gross cheating, the cheater fails to reciprocate at all, and the altruist suffers the costs of whatever altruism he has dispensed without any compensating benefit… clearly, selection will strongly favour prompt discrimination against the gross cheater. Subtle cheating, by contrast, involves reciprocating, but always attempting to give less than one was given, or more precisely, to give less than the partner would give if the situation were reversed.

The rewarding emotion of ‘liking’ someone is also a part of this psychological regulation system, and selection will favour liking those who are altruistic: good people do attract more friends (though being a high-status good person helps). But the issue is not whether we are cheaters or altruists, good or bad, but to what degree are we each of those things in different contexts and relationships.

P erhaps this seesaw between cheating and altruism, which settles to a midpoint of 50/50, explains why 50 per cent keeps coming up in research on friends and relationships. Recall that half of our friendships are non-reciprocal, half of our social network consists of ambivalent relationships, and – to dip into the adjacent field of lie detection – the average person detects lies right around 50 per cent of the time. We evolved to be able to detect enough lies to not be totally swindled, but not enough to wither under the harsh truths of (white-lie-free) social interactions. Likewise, we’ve evolved to detect some cheating behaviours in friends, but not enough to prohibit our ability to be friends with people at all. As the seesaw wobbles, so do our friendships.

Should this sound like a complicated business to you, Trivers agrees, and in fact speculates that the development of this system for regulating altruism among non-kin members is what made our brains grow so big in the Pleistocene. Many neuroscientists agree with his conclusion: humans are smart so that we can navigate friendship.

The psychologist Jan Yager, author of When Friendship Hurts (2002), found that 68 per cent of survey respondents had been betrayed by a friend. Who are these betrayers? At such high numbers, could ‘they’ be us?

We somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are

That scary thought leads me to ask: are we really striving to forgive small sins? To air our grievances before they accumulate and blow up our friendships? To make the effort to get together? To give others the benefit of the doubt? Are we giving what we can, or keeping score? Are we unfairly expecting friends to think and believe the exact same things we do? Are we really doing the best we can? Well, maybe that’s what most of our friends think they are doing, too. And if they aren’t being a good friend, or if they have drifted away from us, or we from them, maybe we can accept these common rifts, without giving into a guilt so overwhelming that it pushes us to slap a label on those we no longer want for friends: toxic.

When a friend breaks up with us, or disappears without explanation, it can be devastating. Even though the churning and pruning of social networks is common over time, we still somehow expect friendships to be forever. Friendship break-ups challenge our vision of who we are, especially if we’ve been intertwined with a friend for many years. Pulsing with hurt in the wake of a friend break-up, we hurl him or her into the ‘bad friends’ basket.

But, sometimes, we have to drop a friend to become ourselves. In Connecting in College (2016), the sociologist Janice McCabe argues that ending friendships in young adulthood is a way of advancing our identities. We construct our self-images and personalities against our friends, in both positive and negative ways.

As much as we need to take responsibility for being better friends and for our part in relationship conflict and break-ups, quite a few factors surrounding friendship are out of our control. Social network embeddedness, where you and another person have many friends in common, for instance, is a big challenge. Let’s say someone crosses a line, but you don’t want to disturb the group, so you don’t declare that you no longer think of him as a friend. You pull back from him, but not so much that it will spark a direct confrontation, whereby people would then be forced to invite only one of you, but not both, to events. Sometimes we are yoked to bad friends.

The forces that dictate whom we stay close to and whom we let go can be mysterious even to ourselves. Aren’t there people you like very much whom you haven’t contacted in a long time? And others you don’t connect with as well whom you see more often? The former group might be pencilling you into their ‘bad friend’ column right now.

Dealing with bad friends, getting dumped by them, and feeling disappointed with them is a stressful part of life, and it can harm your body and mind. Yet having no friends at all is a far worse fate. Imagine a child’s desperation for a playmate, a teenager’s deep longing for someone who ‘gets’ her, or an adult’s realisation that there is no one with whom he can share a failure or even a success. Loneliness is as painful as extreme thirst or hunger. John Cacioppo, a professor of sociology at the University of Chicago, has found associations between loneliness and depression, obesity, alcoholism, cardiovascular problems, sleep dysfunction, high blood pressure, the progression of Alzheimer’s disease, cynical world views and suicidal thoughts. But if you have friend problems, you have friends – and that means you’re pretty lucky.

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Bad Friends (Essay Sample)

Table of Contents

Introduction

Ever experienced connecting so well with someone, only for it to turn out into a bad friendship?

We have all had our share of good friends and bad friends. If there is a toxic friendship you are currently struggling with, read this essay and see if these descriptions add up. For your sake and the sake of everyone around you, minimize the negative impact of this relationship by saying goodbye to it.

Writing a descriptive essay on good friends and bad friends, too? Browse through our website for essay examples, or reach out to us for essay writing services.

Essay on Bad Friends

A true friend is someone very difficult to find. This is because a friend needs to be someone you can always count on or rely on in times of trouble, just like they would rely on you if faced with the same situation.

It can be said that a good friend is someone who draws out positive emotions from you, such as affection and respect. However, not everyone you meet in life is a friend for keeps. There are also fake friends, most of whom would surround you and pretend to be good while secretly doing everything for personal gain.

Bad friends pretend to care for you. However, when you are not around, they will turn around and gossip about you with the intention of starting drama. It is thus important for one to differentiate a great friend from a bad one.

A true companion needs to be a person one can look up to. Traits such as trustworthiness, kindness, dependability, and loyalty are what makes a good friend. A good example of a rock-solid friendship is the one described by Mark Twain’s “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.”

In the story, one will see how Huck and Jim always stuck together, even though society looked down on Huck for befriending a slave. The firm foundation of their friendship superseded social norms. The situation would not have been the same if Huck was not a true friend.

A bad friend will always take advantage of your kindness. They will only want you to do things that they feel are fun, but you will not see or be able to contact them whenever you need them. They will only want to hang out with you when they feel that they can use you to their advantage.

A bad friend does not keep a secret. They will always be talking to someone at school or in the neighborhood, spilling all your personal thoughts. This means that they are hard to trust. They will manipulate the truths you tell them in order to make others dislike you. Usually, there is a personal motivation to cast you in a negative light. Others, because of jealousy, will do this with the intention to hurt you or someone else.

When your trust in them becomes a blind spot, you may not be aware of their hidden agenda. For example, when pressed with a problem, you might approach them for advice. However, they will knowingly give you bad advice. They may convince you that they support you by being nice to you, but you will begin to realize that the advice they are dispensing is not actually the best. In fact, following their counsel will cause a lot of problems for you, be it socially, academically, or professionally. 

In addition, fake friends will always take advantage of you in any situation. For example, if you win the lottery, he or she will make sure you have spent the money to the last dime without giving you advice on how to invest. They will only be there in good times, but run away from you when you need them.

It is always good to weigh out the positive and negative effects of the people you live or socialize with before you decide to call them friends. The above descriptions could be a good starting point in solidifying those filters for evaluation.

If you have had several encounters with not-so-true friends in the past, I hope you don’t lose hope just yet. Sometimes, it takes us a while to find people who we want to keep in our lives. On the other end of the spectrum, if you have old friends you have somehow drifted apart from and miss, don’t pass up the chance to make them an important part of your life again.

A secure and empowering friendship is always worth every effort you put into it. Just as it takes two people to make a relationship, it also takes the same two to break one. Be wary of bad influences around you that could peer-pressure you into jeopardizing the great friendships you are already blessed to have. Stick to your tribe in both good and tough times.

Good Friends And Bad Friends (Short Essay Sample)

One of the most popular topics people discuss is friendship. Whether it’s our amazing best friends who are there for us through thick or thin or that dreadfully bad influence we had to get rid of, it would be hard to run out of stories about the many friendships that have affected our lives.

Many of us have experienced a fake friendship. These are connections with people who have the ability to hurt us because most of the time, we don’t see them coming. In the beginning, they always seem like positive influences and at one point, we probably considered them true friends.

A fake friend always has an ulterior motive. They create a relationship with people who they believe they can benefit from. While sometimes the goal is not primarily to hurt you, their deceptive behaviors ultimately will.

What we hope for in life is to have more friendships we consider authentic, secure, and loving. These are the kind of relationships we want our life to be filled with. We don’t even have to have that one best friend; we can enjoy many friendships that enrich our stories in unique ways.

5 Signs Of A Bad Friendship

• They peer-pressure you into doing things you don’t want. Usually, when someone tries to convince you to do what they want, there is a hidden gain. Other times, the person lacks empathy and awareness of your needs and blindly feels that what they’re asking you to do is for your good.
• They make you work harder to please them. They turn you into a people-pleaser and your ultimate goal in the friendship is to make them happy, even at the cost of your own.
• They make you guess what they’re thinking all the time. They assume that you are their mind-reader who automatically knows the right things to say and do. A secure relationship is always honest about unmet needs.
• They talk a good talk, but don’t really come through when it counts. Most of their assurances turn out to be empty promises, and you always find yourself on the losing side.
• They’re obsessed with their social network. When being friends with you becomes disadvantageous to the clique they are trying to build, they distance themselves from you without remorse.

What Are The Consequences Of Choosing Bad Friends?

It’s quite simple. A fake friend will always influence you for the worse. If you discover that you are liking yourself a lot less since meeting someone, it probably means he or she is not a keeper. You need to cut your losses and move on from the toxic friendship.

Friday essay: on the ending of a friendship

Emeritus Professor of Creative writing, The University of Melbourne

Disclosure statement

Kevin John Brophy does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

University of Melbourne provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.

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Friendship is an incomparable, immeasurable boon to me, and a source of life — not metaphorically but literally.

• Simone Weil

About eight years ago, I went to dinner with a dear friend I had known for more than 40 years. It would be the last time we would see each other and by the end of that evening I was deeply shaken. But more lasting and more unsettling than this has been the feeling of loss without his friendship. It was a sudden ending but it was also an ending that lasted for me well beyond that evening. I have worried since then at what kind of friend I am to my friends, and why a friendship can suddenly self-destruct while others can so unexpectedly bloom.

My friend and I were used to going to dinner together, though it had become an increasingly tricky matter for us. We had been seeing each other more infrequently, and our conversations had been tending towards repetition. I still enjoyed his passion for talk, his willingness to be puzzled by life’s events, our comically growing list of minor ailments as we entered our sixties, and the old stories he fell back on — usually stories of his minor triumphs, such as the time his car burst into fire, was declared a write-off by insurance, and ended in an auction house where he bought it back with part of the insurance payout and only minor repairs to be made. There were stories of his time as a barman in one of Melbourne’s roughest pubs. I suppose in a lot of long-lasting friendships it is these repeated stories of the past that can fill the present so richly.

Nevertheless, both his opinions and mine seemed to have become too predictable. Even his desire to come up with the most unpredictable viewpoint on any problem was a routine I expected from him. Each of us knew the weaknesses in the other’s thinking, and we had learned not to go too far with some topics, which were of course the most interesting and important ones.

He knew how politically correct I could be, and shrewdly enough he had no time for my self-righteousness, the predictability of my views on gender, race and climate. I understood this. He knew too that his fiercely independent thinking was often just the usual rant against greenies or lefties. Something had begun to fail in our friendship, but I could not properly perceive this or speak of it.

We were a contrasting pair. He was a big man with an aggressive edge to his gregarious nature, while I was lean, short and physically slight next to him, a much more reserved person altogether. I liked his size because big men have been protective figures in my life. At times when I felt threatened I would ask him to come with me to a meeting or a transaction, and just stand next to me in his big way. During one long period of trouble with our neighbours he would visit when the tension was high to show his formidable presence and his solidarity with us.

I was always reading and knew how to talk books, while he was too restless to read much. He knew how to sing, bursting into song occasionally when we were together. He had been unable to work professionally since a breakdown that was both physical and mental. By contrast, I was working steadily, never quite as free with my time as he was.

Nearly two years before our last dinner together his wife had suddenly left him. As it turned out, she had been planning her departure for some time, but when she went he was taken by surprise. I saw a more confused and fragile side of him during those months when we would meet and talk through how he was dealing with their counselling sessions, and then how the negotiations were proceeding over belongings and finally the family house. He was learning to live alone for the first time since he had been a young man, and was exploring what it might be like to seek out new relationships.

Read more: Research Check: is it true only half your friends actually like you?

A safe haven

We had met when I was a first-year university student boarding at my grandmother’s home in an inner Melbourne suburb. I was studying for a Bachelor of Arts, staying up through the nights, discovering literature, music, history, cask wine, dope, girls and ideas.

He lived in a flat a few doors away in a street behind my grandmother’s place, and I remember it was the local parish youth group, or the remnants of one, that used to meet in his flat. In my friend’s flat we would lie around the floor, half a dozen of us, drinking, flirting, arguing about religion or politics until the night was strung out in our heads, tight and thin and vibrating with possibilities. I loved that sudden intimate and intellectually rich contact with people my own age.

My friend and I started up a coffee lounge in an old disused shopfront as a meeting place for youth who would otherwise be on the street. I was the one who became immersed in the chaotic life of the place as students, musicians, misfits, hopeful poets and petty criminals floated through the shop, while my friend kept his eye on the broader picture that involved real estate agents, local councils, supplies of coffee, income and expenditure.

Perhaps the experience helped delay my own adulthood, allowing me time to try out a bohemian, communal alternative lifestyle that was so important to some of us in the early 1970s. My friend, though, was soon married. It was as if he had been living a parallel life outside our friendship, outside the youth group, coffee shop, jug band, drugs and misadventures of our project.

This did not break us up, and in fact after his marriage he became another kind of friend. I was at times struggling to find some steady sense of myself. Sometimes in those years I would not be able to talk or even be near others, and I remember once when I felt like this I went to my newly married friend’s home, and asked if I could lie on the floor in the corner of their lounge room for a few days until I felt better.

They indulged me. I felt it was this haven that saved me then, giving me the time to recoup and giving me a sense that there was somewhere I could go where the world was safe and neutral.

In time, and more bumpily and uncertainly than my friend, I was with a partner raising a family. He was often involved in our children’s birthdays, other celebrations, our house-moving, and just dropping in on family meals. It worked for us. I remember him lifting our cast iron wood-burning stove into its place in our first renovated Brunswick cottage. He lived in a more sprawling home near bushland on the edge of Melbourne, so one of my pleasures became the long cycling trips out to see him.

My partner and I were embraced by a local community thanks to the childcare centre, kinders, schools and sport. Lasting friendships (for us and for our children) grew in the tentative, open-ended, slightly blindly feeling way of friendships. Through this decade and a half though, the particular friendship with my songful friend held, perhaps to the surprise of both of us.

‘Tolerating much, for the sake of best intentions’

In his thoroughly likeable 1993 book on friendship , the political scientist Graham Little wrote under the bright light of writings by Aristotle and Freud, that the purest kind of friendship “welcomes the different ways people are alive to life and tolerates much in a friend for the sake of best intentions”.

Here perhaps is the closest I have seen to a definition of friendship at its best: a stance imbued with sympathy, interest and excitement directed at another despite all that otherwise shows we are flawed and dangerous creatures.

On that evening, the evening of the last time we went out to dinner together, I did push my friend towards one of the topics we usually avoided. I had been wanting him to acknowledge and even apologise for his behaviour towards some young women he had spoken to, I thought, lewdly and insultingly nearly a year before in my home at a party. The women and those of us who had witnessed his behaviour felt continuing tension over his refusal to discuss the fact that he had wanted to speak so insultingly to them and then had done it in our home in front of us. For me, there was some element of betrayal, not only in the way he had behaved but in his continued refusal to discuss what had happened.

The women were drunk, he said, just as he had said the last time I tried to talk to him about this. They were wearing almost nothing, he said, and what he’d said to them was no more than they were expecting. My friend and I were sitting in a popular Thai restaurant on Sydney Road: metal chairs, plastic tables, concrete floor. It was noisy, packed with students, young couples and groups out for a cheap and tasty meal. A waitress had put menus, water and beer on our table while she waited for us to decide on our meals. Wanting to push finally past this impasse, I pointed out to him that the women had not insulted him, he had insulted them.

If that’s the way you want it, he replied, and placed his hands on each side of the table, hurling it into the air and walking out of the restaurant as table, bottles, glasses, water and beer came clattering and smashing down around me. The whole restaurant fell silent. I could not move for some time. The waitress began mopping up the floor around me. Someone called out, “Hey, are you all right?”

This was the last time I saw or heard from him. For many months, I thought of him every day, then slowly I thought of him less often, until now I can think of him more or less at will, and not find myself ashamed of the way I went for him in a conversation where I should have been perhaps more alive to whatever was troubling him.

Improvised, tentative

For some years after this, I felt I had to learn how to be myself without him. I have read articles and essays since then about how pitiful men can be at friendship. We are apparently too competitive, we base our friendships on common activities, which means we can avoid talking openly about our feelings and thoughts. I don’t know about this “male deficit model”, as some sociologists call it, but I do know that the loss of this friendship took with it a big part of my shared personal history at that time. It dented my confidence in ever having properly known this man or understood our friendship — or in knowing how secure any friendship might be.

I was drawn to read and re-read Michel de Montaigne’s gentle and strangely extreme essay on friendship where he was so certain that he knew with perfection what his friend would think and say and value. He wrote of his friend, Etienne de Boëtie, “Not only did I know his mind as well as I knew my own but I would have entrusted myself to him with greater assurance than to myself.”

Against this perfection of understanding between friends, there is George Eliot’s odd excursion into science fiction in her 1859 novel, The Lifted Veil . Her narrator, Latimer, finds he can perceive perfectly clearly the thoughts of all the people around him. He becomes disgusted and deeply disturbed by the petty self-interest he apparently discovers within everyone.

After 40 years of shared history, there was not the disgust Eliot writes of, nor Montaigne’s perfect union of mind and trust between me and my burly friend, but there was, I had thought, a foundation of knowledge whereby we took each other’s differences into ourselves, as well as our common histories of the cafe we had run, and as it happened our common serving of time in semi-monastic seminaries before we’d met — differences and similarities that had given us, I thought, ways of being in sympathy with each other while allowing for each other.

Read more: Guide to the classics: Michel de Montaigne's Essays

Montaigne’s dearest friend, Etienne, had died, and his essay was as much about the meaning of this loss as about friendship. His big idea was loyalty, and I think I understand that, though not in the absolute way Montaigne wrote of it.

Loyalty is only real if it is constantly renewed. I worry that I have not worked enough at some friendships that have come into my life, but have let them happen more passively than the women I know who spend such time, and such complicated time, exploring and testing friendships. The sudden disappearance of my friend left me with an awareness of how patched-together, how improvised, clumsy and tentative even the most secure-seeming friendship can be.

When the philosopher and brilliant essayist, Simone Weil wrote shortly before she died in 1943,

I may lose, at any moment, through the play of circumstances over which I have no control, anything whatsoever that I possess, including things that are so intimately mine that I consider them as myself. There is nothing that I might not lose. It could happen at any moment ….

she seemed to be touching on the difficult truth that we run on luck and hope and chance much of the time. Why haven’t I worked harder at friendships, when I know that they provide the real meaning in my life?

Some years ago, when I was told by a medical specialist that I had a 30% chance of having cancer, as I waited for the results of a biopsy, I remember that in response to these dismal odds I had no desire to go back to work, no desire to even read — all I wanted to do was spend time with friends.

Inner worlds laid waste

To know what it is we care about, this is a gift. It should be straightforward to know this and keep it present in our lives, but it can prove to be difficult. Being the reader that I am, I have always turned to literature and fiction for answers or insights into those questions that seem to need answering.

I realised some time after the ending of my friendship that I had been reading novels dealing with friendship, and was not even sure how consciously I had chosen them.

For instance, I read The Book of Strange New Things by Michel Faber, a novel about a Christian preacher, Peter Leigh, sent to convert aliens in a galaxy ludicrously far from earth on a planet with an equally unlikely atmosphere benign to its human colonisers.

It is a novel about whether Leigh can be any kind of adequate friend to his wife left behind on Earth, and whether his new feelings for these aliens amounts to friendship. Though my suspension of disbelief was precarious, I found myself caring about these characters and their relationships, even the grotesquely shapeless aliens. Partly I cared about them because the book read like an essay testing ideas of friendship and loyalty that were important and urgent to the writer.

I also read at that time Haruki Murakami’s novel, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage , a book that came with a little game of coloured cards and stickers, and I found that I cared about Tsukuru Tazaki too, for I felt all along that Murakami’s character was a thin and endearing disguise for himself (what a beautiful word that is, “en-dearing”).

The novel centred on lost friendships. I heard a tone in its voice that was the oddly flat, persistent, vulnerable and sincere searching of a man for connection with others. If Murakami’s novel has a proposition it wishes to test it would be that we only know ourselves in what images of ourselves we receive back from our friends. Without our friends we become invisible, lost.

In both those novels, the friendships are crashing to pieces in slow motion in front of the reader’s helpless eyes. I wanted to shake those characters, tell them to stop and think about what they were doing, but at the same time I saw in them mirrors of myself and my experiences.

I read John Berger too , on the way a human looks across an abyss of incomprehension when looking at another animal. Though language seems to connect us, it might be that language also distracts us from the actual abyss of ignorance and fear between all of us as we look, across, at each other. In his book on the savage mind , Lévi-Strauss quotes a study of Canadian Carrier Indians living on the Bulkley River who were able to cross that abyss between species, believing they knew what animals did and what their needs were because their men had been married to the salmon, the beaver and the bear.

I have read essays by Robin Dunbar on the evolutionary limits to our circles of intimacy , where he suggests that for most of us there needs to be three or maybe five truly close friends. These are the ones we lean towards with tenderness and open ourselves to with endless curiosity — those in whom we seek only the good.

My partner can name quickly four friends who qualify for her as part of this necessary circle. I find I can name two (and she is one of them), then a constellation of individual friends whose closeness to me I can’t easily measure. It is this constellation that sustains me.

Recently I was away from home for three months. After two weeks away I wrote a list in the back of my diary of the friends I was missing. A little more than a dozen of these were the friends, men and women, with whom I need contact, and with whom conversations are always open-ended, surprising, intellectually stimulating, sometimes intimate, and often fun. With each of them I explore a slightly different but always essential version of myself. Graham Little wrote that “ideal soulmates are friends who are fully aware that each has himself as his main life project”.

To live this takes some effort of imagination, and with my friend at dinner that night I might in myself have been refusing to make this effort.

There are also, it occurs to me, the friends who came as couples, with whom my partner and I share time as couples. This is itself another manifestation of friendship, one that crosses over into community, tribe and family — and no less precious than the individual intimacy of a personal friendship. For reasons I can’t properly fathom, the importance of this kind of time with coupled friends has deepened as I have grown through the decades of my fifties and sixties.

Perhaps it is that the dance of conversation and ideas is so much more complex and pleasurable when there are four or more contributing. It could be too that I am absolved from the responsibility of really working at these friendships in the way one must when there are two of us. Or it might be the pang and stimulus of the knowledge that opportunities to be together are brutally diminishing as we grow older.

But to lose an individual friend from one’s closest circle is to have large tracts of one’s inner world laid waste for a time. My feelings over the end of this particular friendship were a kind of grief mixed with bewilderment.

It was not that the friendship was necessary to my existence, but that perhaps through habit and sympathy it had become a fixed part of my identity. Robin Dunbar would say that by stepping away from this friendship I had made room for someone else to slip in to my circle of most intimate friends, but isn’t it the point of such close friends that they are in some important sense irreplaceable? This is the source of much of our distress when such friendships end.

Still learning

When I told people about what had happened in the restaurant that night, they would say, reasonably, “Why don’t you patch things up and resume your friendship?”

As I imagined how a conversation might go if I did meet my friend again, I came to understand that I had been a provocation to him. I had ceased to be the friend he needed, wanted or imagined.

What he did was dramatic. He might have called it merely dramatic. I felt it as threatening. Though I cannot help but think I provoked him. And if we had “patched” a friendship back together, on whose terms would this have been conducted? Would it always be that I would have to agree not to press him on questions that might lead him to throw over some table between us again?

Or worse, would I have to witness his apology, forgive him myself, and put him on his best behaviour for the rest of our friendship?

Neither of those outcomes would have patched much together. I had been hurting too over what I saw as his lack of willingness or interest to understand the situation from my point of view. And so it went inside me as the table and the water and the beer and the glasses came crashing down around me. I had been, in a way, married to my friend, even if he was a salmon or a bear — a creature across an abyss from me. Perhaps this was the only way out of that marriage. Perhaps he had been preparing for (moving towards?) this moment more consciously than I had been.

The ending of this friendship, it is clear, left me looking for its story. It was as if all along there must have been a narrative with a trajectory carrying us in this direction. A story is of course a way of testing whether an experience can take on a shape. Murakami’s and Faber’s novels are not themselves full-blown stories, for there is almost no plot, no shape, to their stumbling episodic structures, and oddly enough in both books the self-doubting lovers might or might not find that close communion with another somewhere well beyond the last page of each novel.

These novels cohere round a series of questions rather than events: what do we know and what can we know about others, what is the nature of the distance that separates one person from another, how provisional is it to know someone anyway, and what does it mean to care about someone, even someone who is a character in a novel?

When an Indian says he is married to a salmon, this can be no stranger than me saying I spent a couple of weeks on a humid planet in another galaxy with an astronaut who is a Christian preacher and an inept husband, or I spent last night in Tokyo with an engineer who builds railway stations and believes himself to be colourless, though at least two women have told him he is full of colour. But do I go to this story-making as a way of keeping my experiences less personal and more cerebral?

When I got home that night eight years ago, I sat at my kitchen table, shaking, hugging myself, talking to my grown-up children about what happened. It was the talking that helped — a narrative taking shape.

Dunbar, like me, like all of us, worries at the question of what makes life so richly present to us, and why friendships seem to be at the core of this meaningfulness. He has been surveying Americans with questions about friendship for several decades, and he concludes that for many of us the small circle of intimate friendships we experience is reducing.

We are apparently lucky now, on average, if there are two people in our lives we can approach with tenderness and curiosity, with that assumption that time will not matter as we talk in a low, murmuring, hive-warm way to a close friend.

My friend cannot be replaced, and it might be that we did not in the end imagine each other fully enough or accurately enough as we approached that last encounter. I don’t know precisely what our failure was. The shock of what happened and the shock of the friendship ending has over the time since that dinner become a part of my history in which I remember feeling grief but am no longer caught in confused anger or guilt over it. The story of it might not have ended but it has subsided.

Perhaps in all friendships we are not only, at our best, agreeing to encountering the unique and endlessly absorbing presence of another person, but unknown to us we’re learning something about how to approach the next friendship in our lives. There is something comically inept and endearing about the possibility that one might still be learning how to be a friend right up to the end of life.

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Essay on Friendship

List of essays on friendship, essay on friendship – short essay for kids (essay 1 – 150 words), essay on friendship – 10 lines on friendship written in english (essay 2 – 250 words), essay on friendship – for school students (class 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7) (essay 3 – 300 words), essay on friendship – for students (essay 4 – 400 words), essay on friendship (essay 5 – 500 words), essay on friendship – introduction, benefits and qualities (essay 6 – 600 words), essay on friendship – essay on true friendship (essay 7 – 750 words), essay on friendship – importance, types, examples and conclusion (essay 8 – 1000 words).

Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Who is in this world does not have a friend?

A friend, with whom you just love to spend your time, can share your joys and sorrows. Most importantly you need not fake yourself and just be what you are. That is what friendship is all about. It is one of the most beautiful of the relations in the world. Students of today need to understand the values of friendship and therefore we have composed different long essays for students as well as short essays.

Audience: The below given essays are exclusively written for school students (Class 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 and 8 Standard).

Introduction:

Friendship is considered as one of the treasures that anyone can possess. God has given us the liberty to choose friends because they are for our lifetime. It is quite normal for our parents and siblings to love us because they are our own blood but a friend is someone who is initially a stranger and then takes his/her place above all the other relations. Friendship is nothing but pure love without any expectations.

Role of a Friend:

True friends share and support each other even during the toughest of times. A true friend is one who feels happy for our success, who feel sad for our failures, fight with us for silly things and hugs us the next second, gets angry on us when we do any mistakes. Friendship is all about having true friends who can understand us without the need for us to speak.

Conclusion:

Friendship is very essential for a happy life. Even a two-minute chat with a friend will make us forget our worries. That is the strength of friendship.

Friendship is a divine relationship, which is defined by neither blood nor any other similarity. Friends are those you can choose for yourself in spite of the difference you both have from each other. A good friend in need will do wonders in your life, whenever you are in need of self-realization, upbringing your confidence and more.

Friendship serves you best not only in your happiest moments but also when you feel low in emotions. A life without a good friend is not at all complete and an emptiness will be felt all the time you think of sharing your emotion that can’t be told to anyone else.

Honesty and Patience in Friendship:

To maintain and keep going with a good deep friendship, honesty is the most important factor. You should choose a person who can be cent percent honest with you in all perspective like emotions, decision making, etc. Trustworthy friendship will help you to take better decisions and choose a better path for your future well-being.

Tolerance and patience with each other are another important characteristics of long-lasting friendship. Accepting the differences, friends should be able to be with each other in all situations. As a friend, the person should lead the other to success by being a motivation and criticize the person if they choose the wrong path.

Friendship will give you sweet and happy memories that can be cherished for a lifetime and if you succeed in maintaining that precious relation, then you are the luckiest person in this world. Love and care for each other will cherish the relationship and helps the person to appreciate each thing done without any fail.

Of all the different relations which we indulge in, friendship is considered to be the purest of them all. Friendship is the true confluence of souls with like minded attitude that aids in seamless conversation and the best of times. It is believed that a person who doesn’t have any friend lives one of the toughest lives.

The Desire to Belong:

Each one of us have been so programmed that we need a companion even if it’s not romantic, someone just to tag along. There are several definitions of friendship and it is upon you as to how you believe your relation to be. Friendship can happen when you are simply sharing a bowl of food with a person day after day. It can be expressed in the way you silently care for someone even when they may not be aware of your existence.

The Little Moments that Matter:

It is giving up the little things you love dearly for the sake of someone you cherish a great deal. Friendship often refers to the little moments of senseless laugh you two share when the rest of the world starts to look bleak. It is to know what your friend needs and being there for them even when the rest of the world has turned their back towards them.

Friendship is the kind of relation which sometimes even exceeds the realms of love because it is all about giving without even once bothering to sense what you shall get back. Every time spent is special because when you are with friends, you don’t feel the blues!

The Bottom-Line:

Of course the definition of friendship is going to vary a great deal from one person to another. But, remember one thing, when you are friends with someone, be prepared to put your heart on the line for their happiness because friendship often manifests into love, even if it is not romantic, it always is true!

Friendship is the most valuable as well as precious gifts of life. Friendship is one of the most valued relationship. People who have good friends enjoy the most in their live. True friendship is based on loyalty & support. A good friend is a person who will stand with you when times are tough. A friend is someone special on whom you can rely on to celebrate a special moment. Friendship is like a life asset and it can lead us to success. It all depends on our choice how we choose our friends.

The quality of friendship is essential for happiness. The benefits of healthy friendship remains long-life. In addition, having a strong friend circle also improves our self-confidence. Due to the strong relationship, we get much emotional support during our bad times. True friendship is a feeling of love & care.

Real friendship cannot be built within limited boundaries like caste or creed. It gives us a feeling that someone really needs us & we are not alone. This is true that man cannot live alone. True friends are needed in every stage of life to survive. A true friend can be an old person or a child. But it is generally believed that we make friend with people who are of the same age as ours. Same age group can give you the freedom to share anything.

The selection of a true friend is also a challenging task. We have to carefully make our friend selection. Friends might come & go. They will make you laugh & cry. Wrong selection can create various problems for you. In the modern world, many youngsters become a social nuisance. The reason behind it is wrong & bad friendships.

But if we successfully choose the right person as a friend then our life becomes easier. It doesn’t matter who you are, what type of clothes you wear. The most important thing is trust because the relation of friendship stands on the pillars of trust.

Friendship is a relation which can make or break us in every stage of life. But in other words, friendship is an asset which is really precious. Obviously, it is also not so easy to maintain friendships. It demands your time as well as efforts. Last but not the least, it is hard to find true friendship but once you succeed in this task you will have a wonderful time. In exchange for that a friend will only need your valuable time and trust.

The idea of friendship is either heartwarming or gives cold feet depending on individuals and the types of friendships. In the current world, friendships have had different definitions based on the morality and civilization of the society. Ideally, friendship is defined as the state of mutual trust between individuals or parties. Trust is an important component of friendship because it determines the reliability and longevity of the friendship. Trust is built through honest communications between the individuals and interested parties.

Once trust has been established, mutual understanding and support being to form the resulting in a friendship. This friendship can be broken through lack of trust. Trust can be breached through deceit and/ or some people, it differs with the frequencies. There are people who will break friendships after only one episode of dishonesty whereas some people give second chances and even more chances. Friendship types determine the longevity and the causes of breakups. The importance of friendship in the lives of individuals is the reason why friendships are formed in the first place.

Types of Friendships:

According to Aristotle’s Nichomachean ethics, there are three types of friendships. The friendships are based on three factors i.e. utility, pleasure and goodness. The first type of friendship is based on utility and has been described as a friendship whereby both parties gain from each other.

This type of friendship is dependent on the benefits and that is what keeps the friendship going. This type of friendships do not last long because it dissolves as soon as the benefits are outsourced or when other sources are found outside the friendship. The friendship was invented for trade purposes because when two people with opposite things that depend on each other re put together, trade is maximized.

The second type of friendship is based on pleasure. This is described as friendship in which two individuals are drawn to each other based on desires of pleasure and is characterized by passionate feelings and feelings of belonging. This type of friendship can ether last long or is short-lived depending on the presence of the attraction between the two parties.

The third type of friendship is based on goodness. In this friendship, the goodness of people draw them to each other and they usually have the same virtues. The friendship involves loving each other and expecting goodness. It takes long to develop this kind of friendship but it usually lasts longest and is actually the best kind of friendship to be in. the importance of such a friendship is the social support and love.

In conclusion, friendships are important in the lives of individuals. Trust builds and sustains friendships. The different types of friendships are important because they provide benefits and social support. Friendships provide a feeling of belonging and dependence. The durability of friendships is dependent on the basis of its formation and the intention during the formation. Friendships that last long are not based on materialistic gain, instead, they are based on pure emotion.

Friendship is an emotion of care, mutual trust, and fondness among two persons. A friend might be a work-mate, buddy, fellow student or any individual with whom we feel an attachment.

In friendship, people have a mutual exchange of sentiments and faith too. Usually, the friendship nurtures more amongst those people who belong to a similar age as they possess the same passions, interests, sentiments, and opinions. During the school days, kids who belong to the similar age group have a common dream about their future and this makes them all of them get closer in friendship.

In the same way, employees working in business organizations also make friends as they are working together for attaining the organizational objectives. It does not matter that to which age group you belong, friendship can happen at any time of your life.

Benefits of Friendship:

Sometimes friendship is essential in our life. Below are a few benefits of friendship.

1. It’s impossible to live your life alone always but friendship fills that gap quickly with the friend’s company.

2. You can easily pass the rigidities of life with the friendship as in your distress period your friends are always there to help you.

3. Friendship teaches you how to remain happy in life.

4. In case of any confusion or problem, your friendship will always benefit you with good opinions.

True and Dishonest Friendship:

True friendship is very rare in today’s times. There are so many persons who support only those people who are in power so that they can fulfil their selfish motives below the name of friendship. They stay with friends till the time their selfish requirements are achieved. Dishonest friends leave people as soon as their power gets vanished. You can find these types of self-seeking friends all around the world who are quite hurtful than enemies.

Finding a true friendship is very difficult. A true friend helps the other friend who is in need. It does not matter to him that his friend is right or wrong but he will always support his friend at the time of his difficulty.

Carefulness in the Selection of Friendship:

You must be very careful while choosing friends. You should nurture your friendship with that person who does not leave you in your bad times easily. Once you get emotionally attached to the wrong person you cannot finish your friendship so soon. True friendship continues till the time of your last breaths and does not change with the passing time.

Friendship with a bad person also affects your own thoughts and habits. Therefore, a bad person should not be chosen in any type of circumstances. We must do friendship with full attention and carefulness.

Best Qualities of Good Friendship:

Good friendship provides people an enormous love to each other.

The below are the important qualities of good friendship:

1. Good friendship is always faithful, honest, and truthful.

2. People pay attention and take note of others thoughts in good friendship.

3. Persons quickly forget and let off the mistakes of the other friend. In fact, they accept their friend in the way they are actually.

4. You are not judged on the basis of your success, money or power in it.

5. Friends do not feel shy to provide us with valuable opinions for our welfare.

6. People always share their joyful times with their good friends and also stay ready to help their friends in the time of need.

7. True friends also support others in their professional as well as personal life. They encourage their friends in the area of their interest.

Friendship is established over the sacrifice, love, faith, and concern of mutual benefit. True Friendship is a support and a blessing for everybody. All those males and females who have true and genuine friends are very lucky really.

Friendship can simply be defined as a form of mutual relationship or understanding between two people or more who interact and are attached to one another in a manner that is friendly. A friendship is a serious relationship of devotion between two or more people where people involved have a true and sincere feeling of affection, care and love towards each other devoid of any misunderstanding and without demands.

Primarily friendship happens between people that have the same sentiments, feelings and tastes. It is believed that there is no limit or criteria for friendship. All of the different creed, religion, caste, position, sex and age do not matter when it comes to friendship even though friendships can sometimes be damaged by economic disparity and other forms of differentiation. From all of these, it can be concluded that real and true friendship is very possible between people that have a uniform status and are like-minded.

A lot of friends we have in the world today only remain together in times of prosperity and absence of problems but only the faithful, sincere and true friends remain all through the troubles, times of hardships and our bad times. We only discover who our bad and good friends are in the times where we don’t have things going our way.

Most people want to be friends with people with money and we can’t really know if our friends are true when we have money and do not need their help, we only discover our true friends when we need their help in terms of money or any other form of support. A lot of friendships have been jeopardised because of money and the absence or presence of it.

Sometimes, we might face difficulty or crises in our friendships because of self-respect and ego. Friendships can be affected by us or others and we need to try to strike a balance in our friendships. For our friendship to prosper and be true, we need satisfaction, proper understanding and a trustworthy nature. As true friends, we should never exploit our friends but instead do our utmost best to motivate and support them in doing and attaining the very best things in life.

The true meaning of friendship is sometimes lost because of encounters with fake friends who have used and exploited us for their own personal benefits. People like this tend to end the friendship once they get what they want or stab their supposed friends in the back just to get what they think is best for them. Friendship is a very good thing that can help meet our need for companionship and other emotional needs.

In the world we live in today, it is extremely difficult to come across good and loyal friends and this daunting task isn’t made any easier by the lie and deceit of a lot of people in this generation. So, when one finds a very good and loyal important, it is like finding gold and one should do everything to keep friends like that.

The pursuit of true friendship Is not limited to humans, we can as well find good friends in animals; for example, it is a popular belief that dogs make the best friends. It is very important to have good friends as they help us in times and situations where we are down and facing difficulties. Our true friends always do their best to save us when we are in danger and also provide us with timely and good advice. True friends are priceless assets in our lives, they share our pains and sorrow, help provide relief to us in terrible situations and do their best to make us happy.

Friends can both be the good or the bad types. Good friends help push us on the right path in life while on the other hand, bad friends don’t care about us but only care about themselves and can lead us into the wrong path; because of this, we have to be absolutely careful when choosing our friends in this life.

Bad friends can ruin our lives completely so we have to be weary of them and do our best to avoid bag friends totally. We need friends in our life that will be there for us at every point in time and will share all of our feeling with us, both the good and bad. We need friends we can talk to anytime we are feeling lonely, friends that will make us laugh and smile anytime we are feeling sad.

What is friendship? It is the purest form of relationship between two individual with no hidden agenda. As per the dictionary, it is the mutual affection between people. But, is it just a mutual affection? Not always, as in the case of best friends, it is far beyond that. Great friends share each other’s feelings or notions which bring a feeling of prosperity and mental fulfillment.

A friend is a person whom one can know deeply, as and trust for eternity. Rather than having some likeness in the idea of two people associated with the friendship, they have some extraordinary qualities yet they want to be with each other without changing their uniqueness. By and large, friends spur each other without censuring, however at times great friends scrutinize do affect you in a positive manner.

Importance of Friendship:

It is very important to have a friend in life. Each friend is vital and their significance in known to us when certain circumstances emerge which must be supported by our friends. One can never feel lonely in this world on the off chance that he or she is embraced by true friends. Then again, depression wins in the lives of the individuals who don’t have friends regardless of billions of individuals present on the planet. Friends are particularly vital amid times of emergency and hardships. On the off chance that you wind up experiencing a hard time, having a friend to help you through can make the change simpler.

Having friends you can depend on can help your confidence. Then again, an absence of friends can make you feel lonely and without help, which makes you powerless for different issues, for example, sadness and drug abuse. Having no less than one individual you can depend on will formulate your confidence.

Choosing Your Friends Wisely:

Not all friends can instill the positivity in your life. There can be negative effects as well. It is very important to choose your friends with utmost wisdom. Picking the right friend is somewhat troublesome task however it is extremely important. In the event that for instance a couple of our dear friends are engaged with negative behaviour patterns, for example, smoking, drinking and taking drugs, at some point or another we will be attracted to their bad habits as well. This is the reason behind why it is appropriate to settle on an appropriate decision with regards to making friends.

Genuine friendship is truly a gift delighted in by a couple. The individuals who have it ought to express gratitude toward God for having genuine pearls in their lives and the individuals who don’t have a couple of good friends ought to always take a stab at better approaches to anchor great friends. No organization is superior to having a friend close by in the midst of need. You will stay cheerful in your one-room flat on the off chance that you are surrounded by your friends; then again, you can’t discover satisfaction even in your estate in the event that you are far away from others.

Types of Friends:

There is variety everywhere, so why not in friends. We can see different types of friends during our journey of life. For instance, your best friend at school is someone with whom you just get along the most. That friend, especially in the case of girls, may just get annoyed even if you talk to another of your friend more than her. Such is the childish nature of such friendships that at times it is difficult for others to identify whether you are best friends or competitors.

Then there is another category of your siblings. No matter how much you deny, but your siblings or your elder brother and sisters are those friends of yours who stay on with you for your entire life. You have a different set of friendship with them as you find yourself fighting with them most of the times. However, in times of need, you shall see that they are first ones standing behind you, supporting you.

There is another category of friends called professional friends. You come across such friends only when you grow up and choose a profession for yourself. These friends are usually from the same organisation and prove to be helpful during your settling years. Some of them tend to stay on with you even when you change companies.

Friendship Examples from History:

History has always taught us a lot. Examples of true friendship are not far behind. We have some famous example from history which makes us realise the true value of friendship. The topmost of them are the Krishna and Sudama friendship. We all must have read or heard as to how after becoming a king when Krishna met Sudama, his childhood friend, he treated him with honour even though Sudama was a poor person. It teaches us the friendship need not be between equals. It has to be between likeminded people. Next example is of Karna and Duryodhana, again from the Mahabharat era.

Despite knowing the fact that the Pandavas were his brothers, Karna went on to fight alongside Duryodhan as he is his best friend and even laid down his life for him. What more example of true friendship can one find? Again from the same era, Krishna and Arjun are also referred to as the best of the friends. Bhagavad Gita is an example of how a true friend can guide you towards positivity in life and make you follow the path of Dharma. Similarly, there are numerous examples from history which teach us the values of true friendship and the need to nourish such for own good.

Whether you accept or deny it, a friend plays an important role in your life. In fact, it is very important to have a friend. However, at the same time, it is extremely important to choose the friends wisely as they are the ones who can build you or destroy you. Nonetheless, a friend’s company is something which one enjoys all through life and friends should be treated as the best treasure a man can have.

Friendship , Relationship

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What's the Best Way to End a Toxic Friendship?

Ending friendships is never easy, but doing these three things ease the pain..

Posted February 19, 2021 | Reviewed by Gary Drevitch

1. Make it about yourself and your needs, not their wrongs.

Too often, people will rush in and place blame on a friend who had wronged them when they are making the decision to terminate a friendship . Next, the person being blamed will immediately jump in to defend themselves from the verbal assault. Conflicts may erupt that can transition rapidly from serious discussions to flat-out fights when blaming begins.

Regardless of who might actually deserve the label of victim or perpetrator, avoid beginning any sentences with “fighting words” such as “You made me…” or “You should never have…” or “You are such a…” and so on. While letting someone know what you think may seem like the cleansing and cathartic choice, you are more likely to be setting yourself up for an unexpectedly ugly scene.

Owning your feelings and taking responsibility for how the relationship has unfolded or unraveled can be a much more freeing experience. By stating, “I really felt _________ when ____________ happened,” you are affirming your own personal reactions and needs.

By acknowledging your own feelings, you are recognizing what you do and do not want to experience within a friendship. By describing the action that created the negative feeling, you are acknowledging the behaviors that you will need to see as red flags in future relationships. Shaming and blaming may provide a very temporary feeling of victory, but being open and honest about what you will and will not tolerate in relationships will yield a much longer sense of satisfaction.

Unfortunately, no matter how well you work to keep the discussion on an even keel, your friend may choose to escalate the intensity and volume of the interaction. If you feel that things are getting out of hand and your efforts to keep the discussion productive have failed, you may need to diplomatically end the conversation and remove yourself from the scene.

Let the person know that you appreciate their feelings, but that it is not in anyone’s best interest to engage in an unproductive and hurtful exchange. The other person may not hear the message you are sending, but you will know that you have done the best that you can do given the current set of circumstances.

2. Acknowledge the benefits that the relationship has offered over time and express appreciation for the role this person has played in your life in the past.

After you have owned your feelings and acknowledged to your friend that you feel that the relationship is not working out for you, if there is something positive to share about the individual or the friendship, offer this information to them. Let them know that you had enjoyed having a gym buddy, or a lunch buddy, or a Saturday-night-no-date buddy, or neighborhood walking buddy, and so on. If you had shared taxi rides or carpooled together, mention these. If this person listened to you complain in the past or helped plan your wedding or held your hand as you dealt with the loss of someone you loved, let them know how much this meant. Most of us want to be let down easy and you can model this kindness and thoughtfulness for a soon-to-be-former friend and this person may actually learn something about the value of exhibiting the traits of a good friend.

By being willing to share what was positive in the relationship with your former friend, you are also sending a message to them about some behaviors that they might value in their other relationships. You are also affirming to yourself the behaviors that are of value to you, as well. Friendships are social exchange microsystems, so at some point, you received some form of benefit from your original investment in the relationship. If this person was just someone to speak to at work, then acknowledge that they had been able to help you feel more comfortable on the job. If they were willing to watch your pets one weekend or water your flowers or accompany you to a wine tasting or book club meeting, acknowledge this past kindness. While this may not be easy to do, it will leave you feeling so much better about how you chose to manage the break-up.

3. Shut down any “revenge fantasies ” before they take hold.

While some people enjoy getting caught up in the conflict at hand and wallow in their anger and negativity, this is not the best choice for their mental health or emotional well-being. If you have been the victim of intentional hurt, offense, or disrespect, it is normal to feel anger and, for some, to have the desire to see the perpetrator face consequences for their behavior. Obsessing about this desire, however, is extremely detrimental to your own well-being.

Researchers have revealed some interesting things about the anticipated joy that is expected to occur through inflicting punishment /revenge on others. It turns out that the pleasure in plotting revenge actually diminishes your psychological well-being and engaging in punishment is further detrimental to your state-of-mind. Imagining retribution against your former friend causes you to hold onto negative feelings and engage in rumination much longer than if you just let the transgression go and move on in your life.

While forgiveness may be suggested by some as the key to a peaceful heart, not everyone is capable of forgiving those who have hurt them. However, consciously reminding yourself to “let it go” when you find yourself replaying the conflict in your head and actually “letting it go” is an achievable goal. The saying that living well is the best revenge may actually be true. It is important to keep yourself from allowing your former friend to have further control of your thoughts and feelings once the “friendship expiry date,” as it can be described, has passed.

We are conducting a survey on the toll that the pandemic may have taken on social relationships. If you would like to share your experiences, please click on this link to complete the survey: Friendscapes and the Pandemic

Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D. , is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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127 Friendship Essay Topic Ideas & Examples

When you have a good friendship topic, essay writing becomes as easy as it gets. We have some for you!

📝 Friendship Essay Structure

🏆 best friendship topic ideas & essay examples, 💡 good essay topics on friendship, 🎓 simple & easy friendship essay titles, 📌 most interesting friendship topics to write about, ❓ research questions about friendship.

Describing a friend, talking about your relationship and life experiences can be quite fun! So, take a look at our topics on friendship in the list below. Our experts have gathered numerous ideas that can be extremely helpful for you. And don’t forget to check our friendship essay examples via the links.

Writing a friendship essay is an excellent way to reflect on your relationships with other people, show your appreciation for your friends, and explore what friendship means to you. What you include in your paper is entirely up to you, but this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t structure it properly. Here is our advice on structuring an essay on friendship:

• Begin by selecting the right topic. It should be focused and creative so that you can earn a high mark. Think about what friendship means to you and write down your thoughts. Reflect on your relationship with your best friend and see if you can write an essay that incorporates these themes. If these steps didn’t help – don’t worry! Fortunately, there are many web resources that can help you choose. Browse samples of friendship essays online to see if there are any topics that interest you.
• Create a title that reflects your focus. Paper titles are important because they grasp the reader’s attention and make them want to read further. However, many people find it challenging to name their work, so you can search for friendship essay titles online if you need to.
• Once you get the first two steps right, you can start developing the structure of your essay. An outline is a great tool because it presents your ideas in a clear and concise manner and ensures that there are no gaps or irrelevant points. The most basic essay outline has three components: introduction, body, and conclusion. Type these out and move to the next step. Compose an introduction. Your introduction should include a hook, some background information, and a thesis. A friendship essay hook is the first sentence in the introduction, where you draw the reader’s attention. For instance, if you are creating an essay on value of friendship, include a brief description of a situation where your friends helped you or something else that comes to mind. A hook should make the reader want to read the rest of the essay. After the hook, include some background information on your chosen theme and write down a thesis. A thesis statement is the final sentence of the first paragraph that consists of your main argument.
• Write well-structured body paragraphs. Each body paragraph should start with one key point, which is then developed through examples, references to resources, or other content. Make sure that each of the key points relates to your thesis. It might be useful to write out all of your key points first before you write the main body of the paper. This will help you to see if any of them are irrelevant or need to be swapped to establish a logical sequence. If you are composing an essay on the importance of friendship, each point should show how a good friend can make life better and more enjoyable. End each paragraph with a concluding sentence that links it to the next part of the paper.
• Finally, compose a conclusion. A friendship essay conclusion should tie together all your points and show how they support your thesis. For this purpose, you should restate your thesis statement at the beginning of the final paragraph. This will offer your reader a nice, well-balanced closure, leaving a good impression of your work.

We hope that this post has assisted you in understanding the basic structure of a friendship paper. Don’t forget to browse our website for sample papers, essay titles, and other resources!

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• Friendship’s Philosophical Description In order for a friendship to exist, the two parties must demonstrate first and foremost a willingness to ensure that only the best occurs to their counterpart.
• “Feminism and Modern Friendship” by Marilyn Friedman Individualism denies that the identity and nature of human beings as individuals is a product of the roles of communities as well as social relationships.
• Analysis of Internet Friendship Issues Despite the correlation that develops on the internet, the question of whether social media can facilitate and guarantee the establishment of a real friend has remained a key area of discussion.
• Social Media Communication and Friendship According to Maria Konnikova, social media have altered the authenticity of relationships: the world where virtual interactions are predominant is likely to change the next generation in terms of the ability to develop full social […]
• Friendship’s meaning around the world Globally it’s very ludicrous today for people to claim that they are in a friendship yet they do not even know the true meaning of friendship.
• Childhood Friendship and Psychology Based on their research, they have founded a theory, according to which it is assumed that the children consider close relationship, appraisals, and sharing common interests as something very important to them and on the […]
• Friendship and Peer Networking in Middle Childhood Peer networking and friendship have a great impact on the development of a child and their overall well-being. Students in elementary need an opportunity to play and network with their peers.
• Friendship in “The Song of Roland” This phrase sums up Roland’s predicament in the book as it relates to his reluctance to sound the Oliphant horn. In the final horn-blowing episode, Roland is aggressively persuaded to blow the horn for Charlemagne’s […]
• True Friendship from Personal Perspective The perfect understanding of another person’s character and visions is one of the first characteristics of a true friendship. In such a way, true friendship is an inexhaustible source of positive emotions needed for everyone […]
• Trust Aspect of Friendship: Qualitative Study Given the previous research on preserving close communication and terminating it, the authors seek to examine the basics of productive friendship and the circumstances that contribute to the end of the interaction.
• Educator-Student Relationships: Friendship or Authority? Ford and Sassi present the view that the combination of authority and the establishment of interpersonal relations should become the way to improve the performance of learners.
• Friendship in the Film “The Breakfast Club” The main themes which can be identified in the storyline are crisis as a cause and catalyst of friendship, friendship and belonging, and disclosure and intimacy in friendship.
• Friendship Police Department Organizational Change The one that is going to challenge the efforts, which will be aimed at rectifying the situation, is the lack of trust that the employees have for the new leader who they expect to become […]
• Friendship in the Analects and Zhuangzi Texts The author of “The Analects of Confucius” uses the word friend in the first section of the text to emphasize the importance of friendship.
• How to Develop a Friendship: Strategies to Meet New Friends Maintaining a connection with old friends and finding time to share life updates with them is a good strategy not to lose ties a person already has. A person should work hard to form healthy […]
• Is There Friendship Between Women? In conclusion, comparing my idea of women’s friendship discussed in my proposal to the theoretic materials of the course I came to a conclusion that strong friendship between women exists, and this is proved in […]
• Online Friendship Formationby in Mesch’s View The modern world tends to the situation when people develop the greatest empathy towards their online friends because it seems that the ratio and the deepness of these relationships can be controlled; written and posted […]
• Canadian-American Diefenbaker-Eisenhower Friendship In particular, the paper investigates the Mandatory Oil Import Program and the exemption of Canada from this initiative as well as the historical treaty that was officially appended by the two leaders in regard to […]
• Friendship from a Sociological Perspective For example Brazilians studying in Europe and United States were met with the stereotypes that Brazilians are warm people and are easy to establish friendships.
• Friendship Influencing Decisions When on Duty The main stakeholders are the local community, the judge, and the offenders. The right of the society is to receive objective and impartial treatment of its members.
• Friendship: To Stay or to Leave Each member of the group found out who really is a friend and who is not. This implies that the level of trust is high between Eddie and Vic.
• “Understanding Others, and Individual Differences in Friendship Interaction in Young Children”: Article Analysis The aspect of socio-cognitive abilities of small children in the process of interaction was disclosed with the help of psychological theories.
• Friendship: Sociological Term Review But one is not aware of that type of friendship; it is necessary to study it. Friendship is a matter of consciousness; love is absolutely unconscious.
• The Significance of Friendship in Yeonam The paper examines the depth and extent to which Yeonam was ready to go and if he was bound by the norms of the human friendship and association of his era.
• Cicero and Plutarch’s Views on Friendship He believed that befriending a man for sensual pleasures is the ideal of brute beasts; that is weak and uncertain with caprice as its foundation than wisdom. It is this that makes such carelessness in […]
• Friendship: The Meaning and Relevance Although the basic definition of a friendship falls under the category of somebody whom we feel a level of affection and trust for or perhaps a favored companion, the truth of the matter is that […]
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• Fate of Friendship and Contemporary Ethics Is friendship possible in the modern world dominated by pragmatism and will it exist in the future? For instance, Cicero takes the point of view of the social entity, in other words, he defines friendship […]
• Feminism and Modern Friendship While criticizing these individuals, Marilyn asserts that the omission of sex and gender implies that these individuals wanted to affirm that social attachment such as societies, families, and nationalities contribute to identity rather than sex […]
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• Why International Students Find It Hard to Make Friends On the other hand, in societies that promote a high power distance, less powerful individuals accept their position in the chain of command and acknowledge the strengths of their superiors in the hierarchy.
• Gender Stereotyping and Friendship: Women Relationships The most interesting about this article is its ending which states that” the core of a friendship has to have more in-person interactions and experience”.
• The Impact of Friendship in the Epic of Gilgamesh The elusive coalition between Enkidu and Gilgamesh, their fateful destinies and eventual epiphanies broaden the societal apprehension of the elements/value of friendship as expounded in the next discussion.
• Woman Intimacy and Friendship with the Appearance of Social Media The anonymity provided by the social media makes this medium very appealing to both women and men as they are able to “reconstruct” themselves to a level they deem “cool” enough to garner more desired […]
• Faux Friendship and Social Networking The modern-day relationships have dissolved the meaning of the word friendship; as aromatic lovers refer to each other as friends, parents want their children to think of them as friends, teachers, clergymen and bosses have […]
• Friendship Type – Companionship Relationship A friendship is ideally not an obsession since the latter involves a craving for another person that might even lead to violence just to be in site of the other party.
• Aristotle’s Ideas on Civic Relationships: Happiness, the Virtues, Deliberation, Justice, and Friendship On building trust at work, employers are required to give minimum supervision to the employees in an effort to make the latter feel a sense of belonging and responsibility.
• Gender Role Development and Friendship As far as the conflict goes, the boy’s main problem is that he is unwilling to change his behavior towards a socially accepted one under the pretext that girls are more beautiful and, therefore, it […]
• Article Study on the Friendship Concept In the critical review article, the views of Norman Kutcher on the formation of friendships are discussed in detail. In this article, the views of other scholars are discussed in order to strengthen the works […]
• Henry Thoreau: The Concept of the Friendship Not every person is able to understand the essence of nature, its uniqueness, and importance. To my mind, his close connection to nature and a kind of isolation from people helped him to understand deeper […]
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How to Be a Good Friend: Building Meaningful Connections

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Published: Feb 7, 2024

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Be a good listener, show genuine interest, be supportive and reliable, communicate honestly, respect differences, be forgiving.

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A friendship essay is precisely what it sounds like: a paper that students write to describe their relationships with their mates.  It is among the many assignments that students are given in their college institutions.  Writing essays about friendship is a great way to analyze what the connection means to you and reflect on some of your encounters. It can also be used as a tool to improve your closeness and affection. This blog post offers tips you may consider while writing your paper and its outline. It features friendship essay examples that help generate ideas that form the primary focus of your paper.  If you are not ready to waste your time on essay writing, StudyCrumb is here to offer affordable prices and professional writers.

What Is a Friendship Essay?

The definition of friendship essay is quite clear and straightforward. A paper about friends can be described as a write-up on a relationship between two or more people. This interpretation makes it easier to obtain the meaning of friendship essay.  Writing such thematic essay will help you communicate your feelings as well as your thoughts. It allows you to recollect your memories about different encounters you have had in life. It will also help you evaluate qualities of your connection.  While writing, you may have a sequence of events starting from your meet-up, activities you have done together, and how you have sustained the connection. Preparing an essay about friendship can evoke memories from your past that may have been long forgotten.

Purpose of an Essay on Friendship

This kind of essay aims to help you explore its nature and form, its pros and cons, and its role in your life. The importance of friendship essay is that it acts as a reflective tool. It helps you realize the significance of creating and maintaining good relationships with friends. It also explains how these connections contribute to your overall wellness. In addition, an article about friendship may teach you to understand that true friendship is priceless and should stand the test of time.

Ideas to Write a Friendship Essay on

Writing essays about friendship is a more manageable task than drafting a paper about a topic that may require more detailed research. Any excellent essay about true friendship starts with an idea that you can examine.  Below are some unique ideas you can explore:

• What is friendship?
• What does friendship mean to me?
• The value of friendship you cherish in your life.
• Cross-cultural friendships.
• The role of friendship in mental health maintenance.

As you reflect on your relationship with your friend, see if you can write a paper incorporating these themes. Remember to choose an idea that interests you and is relevant to your personal experiences or research. Be sure to support your arguments with evidence and examples from real-life situations, literature, or academic research. Look through our definition essay topics or persuasive essay ideas to find a theme that suits your task best.

Friendship Essay Outline

An essay outline about friendship is a summary of what your write-up will contain but in a less detailed format. You use it to organize and structure your content logically and effectively. It presents the main topics and subtopics hierarchically, allowing writers to see the connection between different parts of the material. The importance of an outline lies in its ability to help writers plan, organize, as well as clarify their ideas. This makes the writing of an essay about friends more efficient, and the final product is more coherent and effective. Here is an example of an outline for a friendship essay.

• Briefly introduce the topic of friendship
• Provide a thesis statement that summarizes the main points of the essay
• Topic sentence
• Your main argument
• Real-life examples that support your key idea
• Supporting evidence
• 3rd Body Paragraph
• Examples or recommendations
• Summarize the main points
• Provide some food for thought

Note that this is a general outline. The exact structure and content of your essay will depend on the specific requirements of your assignment and your personal interests.

Structure of a Friendship Essay

The structure of an essay on friendship typically includes the following three parts.

• Introduction An introduction should grab the reader's attention and provide background information. It should also include a clear thesis statement that sets a path and direction of the friendship essays.
• Body The essay's body is where you will provide evidence and details to underpin your thesis statement. It should consist of several paragraphs supporting and developing a statement of purpose. Each paragraph should focus on a specific aspect of your friendliness, such as its importance, benefits, or challenges.
• Conclusion Briefly summarize the essay's main points and reinforce your principal argument. The conclusion should leave a lasting impression on readers and emphasize your topic's significance. Overall, the structure should be clear and well-organized, allowing the audience to follow your argument and understand the topic's significance.

Friendship Essay Introduction

A good introduction about friendship essay should grab the reader's attention and encourage them to continue reading. This can be achieved through a " hook ," a quote, an interesting fact, or a thought-provoking question. Background information can then be provided to give context to the discussed topic.  The introduction to an essay about friendship should also clearly state your main point or argument of the piece, known as thesis statement. This sets pace for the rest of the paper and gives readers a clear view of what to expect. A friendship essay introduction should be concise, engaging, and provide context for the audience to understand the content fully.

Read more: How to Start off an Essay

Friendship Essay Introduction Example

Here is an example of a friendship essay introduction that sets the stage for a reflective and thought-provoking exploration of the most precious gift in life.

Friendship is a special bond that unites two individuals with common interests, experiences, and emotions. It makes life easier and contributes to our happiness. It is a relationship that transcends race, religion, and socio-economic status and has power to sustain and uplift the spirit of humans. In this essay, I will explore its benefits and how it can contribute to a better world. Through personal anecdotes, I will illustrate the bond's depth and role in our day-to-day lives.

Friendship Essay Thesis Statement

The friendship thesis statement aims to provide a summary of the essay's main point. It can be one or two sentences which you develop as you research. The statement of purpose should focus on the central argument and be supported by evidence presented in the body. The thesis statement about friendship should guide the essay's structure. Its main objective is to provide your reader with a roadmap to follow. It should be specific, concise, and accurately reflect the content in your paper. Understanding what constitutes a strong thesis is crucial for writers as it is integral to every essay writing process.

Friendship Thesis Statement Example

The thesis statement must be clear to readers so that they may quickly recognize it and comprehend the paper's significance. It should act as a blueprint of what to expect. A friendship thesis statement sample could be:

In this essay, I will explore friendship's meaning, its importance, benefits, drawbacks, and how it can contribute to a better world. Through a series of personal anecdotes, I will illustrate the bond's depth and its key role in our lives.

Friendship Essay Body

The body part should include five or more paragraphs. Students will use body paragraphs to elaborate on the key factors that make their connection special.

• Definition and explanation. This friendship body paragraph should start with a definition and a brief explanation of its characteristics and qualities.
• Importance of friends. Discuss why it is vital in your life and how it contributes to personal growth and welfare.
• Types of friendships. A paragraph about friendship should discuss different types of friend's relationships that exist.
• Qualities of a good friend. Discuss standards a great confidant should possess.
• Challenges. Discuss the common problems that friends face.
• Ways to strengthen friendship. Provide tips on reinforcing and maintaining good relationships.
• Conclusion. Sum up the key points made in your essay and reiterate the importance of genuine bonds in life.

Friendship Body Paragraph Example

Below is a friendship body paragraph sample.

How to Spend Free Time with Friends • Outdoor Activities. Spending time in nature is a great way to bond with friends. You can meet, then go for a hike, take a walk, or go to a picnic in a park. This allows you to connect and enjoy the beautiful world around you. • Movie Night. Watching a movie is another fun activity you can do with friends. You can share popcorn, grab snacks, and enjoy a movie together. This is a great way to relax and unwind. • Board Games. Playing board games with friends is a fun and interactive way to spend free time. You can play classic games like Monopoly. This is a great way to challenge each other and have a good time.

Friendship Essay Conclusion

Any conclusion on a friendship essay should sum up the main ideas discussed in your essay and restate the thesis statement. It should leave a lasting impression and provide a closure to your topic. To start writing a conclusion about a friendship essay, commence by rephrasing the thesis statement in different words. Summarize the points discussed in your essay by connecting them back to your statement of purpose. End conclusion with a final thought or call to action that leaves a lasting impression on your reader.  It is vital to keep it concise yet impactful. Avoid introducing new information or arguments, as it can confuse readers. Instead, focus on tying up loose ends and emphasizing main ideas discussed in your essay.

Read more: How to Conclude an Essay

Friendship Essay Conclusion Sample

Here is an example of a friendship essay conclusion:

In conclusion, friendship is an essential aspect of our lives that brings joy, support, and companionship. It is a relationship built on mutual trust, understanding, and love. A true friend will always be there for you, no matter what. As humans, we need sincere friends to help us navigate life's ups and downs and provide emotional support. An understanding friend can withstand any obstacle and bring happiness to our lives. The connection is meant to last a lifetime, whether through shared experiences, interests, or simply a common bond. Ultimately, having a close group of loyal friends who truly care for us is one of the greatest gifts we can receive in life.

How to Write an Essay on Friendship?

To write an essay about friendship, start by brainstorming ideas about what friends mean to you and the benefits of such kinds of relationships. Knowing how to write a good essay about friendship involves selecting a great topic and arranging your content in a manner that has logical flow.

1. Come Up With a Topic About Friendship

To brainstorm essay topics on friendship, consider the following.

• Reflect on your own experiences. Think about your own bonds and encounters you have had with allies. Avoid bad occurrences. This can inspire topics to explore in your essay. To find a subject that interests you, you can also look through internet examples of friend essays.
• Ask questions related to friends, such as "What makes a meaningful connection?" or "How does the quality of your bond change over time?"
• Talk to others. Ask friends, family, or classmates about their experiences. They may have interesting insights that can inspire new topics for your essay.

Ensure that topic you select is appropriate for your report style. For example: 

The Day my Best Friend Changed My Life.

You can start this topic by how you met, narrate your story, and then pick out some attributes of a good friend and the advantages of the relationship. Remember to choose a topic on friendship essay that you feel passionate about and can explore in depth in your essay.

2. Do Research

To research and collect information for the friend essay, follow these steps.

• Start with a general search. Use search engines like Google to find articles, books, and other resources on affection.
• Identify keywords. Determine the most relevant keywords for your essay, such as "essay about a friend." Use them in your search to narrow down results to the most pertinent information.
• Evaluate sources. When you have a list of potential sources, evaluate each to determine their credibility and relevance. Look for sources that are written by experts in the field and that have been peer-reviewed or published in reputable journals.
• Take notes. As you read, take notes on the most important and relevant information.

3. Develop a Friendship Essay Outline

An outline is a useful tool for organizing ideas in an essay and it ensures that your essay has a structure. Before outlining you need to have a clear vision of what your essay will focus on. Then analyze every piece of information that you have and categorize it into headings. An outline of an essay about friendships will comprise a list which consists of each paragraph’s topic sentence . By going through the outline, you are able to examine what purpose each paragraph serves. If you need assistance on how to create an outline for a college essay about friendship use the outline example shown below.

4. Write an Essay on Friendship

Writing an essay about friendship is an exciting task. Below is a sample of how you can write your friendship essay. Friendship is the bond between two or more individuals based on mutual trust, support, and understanding. This connection can develop at any stage of life and even last a lifetime. It is a bond that fills our lives with comfort, laughter, and advice during a hard period. Many different factors can contribute to its formation and success. Having similar needs, mutual interests, and social activities can help sustain the relationship. Another crucial aspect is being ready to support each other through happy and difficult times unconditionally. Trust is also an essential component in the longevity of this connection. In conclusion, friendship is an invaluable treasure that brings joy, comfort, and support to our lives. It provides a safe place in a world that can be harsh and unforgiving. It reminds us that we should always stay true to each other.

5. Proofread Your Friendship Essay

When writing a friendship essay, consider the following for an effective introduction.

• Grab your reader's attention. A good introduction makes them want to continue reading your friendship essay.
• Provide context. Give an overview of the friendship essay and its purpose. This will make readers interested in your work.
• Establish your purpose. Clearly state the main idea or thesis.
• Preview the main points. Briefly summarize key points that will be covered.
• Be concise. An introduction should be short and on point, generally no more than one or two paragraphs.

Remember, your introduction will set tone for the rest of your piece and should encourage your readers to continue reading.

Read more: Essay About Happiness : Tips & Examples

Friendship Essay Examples

A sample essay about friendship can be critical to students, especially when they are researching and collecting information. Free friendship essays help you get ideas on how to write and structure your essay. Below are essay examples about friendship that you can go through to help with your writing and draw inspiration from. Friendship essay example 1

Friendship essay example 2

Essay about friendship sample 3

Example of essay on friendship 4

Friendship Essay Writing Tips

Here are some extra tips you need to know that will motivate you to write a friendship short essay.

• You could start with a quote, an anecdote, or a surprising fact.
• Use examples from your own life to illustrate your points in your school college essay about friendship, as this will make your essay more relatable and interesting to read.
• Friendship titles for essays should be clear and straightforward. They should also reflect your main points.
• Describe the aspect of the bond that, in your opinion, is most crucial. It is possible to personalize something that means an entirely different thing to various individuals.

Bottom Line on Friendship Essay Writing

Your central task is to understand what is a friendship essay even before you start writing. Friendship essays explore the nature of our relationships and their various aspects. They can take various forms, from short reflective essays to longer, more analytical pieces. These papers can discuss qualities that make a good friend, the benefits of your relationship, or challenges of maintaining close relationships. Examples of short essays about friendship could be a personal reflection, exploring the unique bond between the writer and their friend and what they hope to continue gaining from each other when they cross paths in future. If you struggle with other papers, feel free to check out our writing guides. From an essay about bullying to a world peace essay , we’ve got you covered.

FAQ About Friendship Essay

1. may i use friendship quotes for the essay.

Yes, it is always a winning step. You can write an essay on friendship with quotes either as the title of your essay or as an introductory phrase. You can also include it in the body of your work while narrating your story.

2. How to write a hook for an essay of friendship?

An essay should hook your reader's attention and make them want to read your story. When writing essays about friendship, you can describe a unique situation in which your friends helped you. You can also end your introduction with a catchy quote, such as Squad goals! Some other quotes that you can use include:

• A road to a friend's house is never long.
• Count your age with friends and years.
• True friend is seen through the heart, not through the eyes.

3. Explain the importance of friendship essay.

The importance of friendship essay is that it teaches students to express their thoughts and feelings about confidants and benefits they obtain from this connection. It also acts as a reflective tool. Friend essays also help students realize advantages of creating and maintaining good relationships with friends and how these linkages contribute to your overall wellness and welfare.

Daniel Howard is an Essay Writing guru. He helps students create essays that will strike a chord with the readers.

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11 qualities of a good friend + what to watch out for, from therapists.

Our friends are our chosen family, so it's important to choose wisely. But what really makes a good friend? And further, what are the glaring red flags that warn someone isn't actually a good friend at all?

Here are the qualities to look for in a good friend, plus qualities to watch out for, according to relationship experts.

11 qualities of a good friend:

You like being around them..

First things first: You will like being around a truly good friend . That may seem obvious, but you'd be surprised how many people don't actually realize they feel bad around certain people. It's important that your friendships feel warm and fun, according to relationship expert Ken Page, LCSW , because that fun and playful aspect creates feelings of belonging and safety.

It'll be easy to laugh and have fun with a good friend, licensed marriage and family therapist  Tiana Leeds, M.A., LMFT , adds, and further, "Deep conversations also come easily and leave you feeling nurtured and filled up."

Further, she adds, there will simply be a natural click with good friends. "When the chemistry is there, conversation flows, there is playfulness, and you can let your guard down. Looking at whether someone has the qualities of a good friend is important, but go beyond the checklist and trust your gut to make sure there is also friend chemistry—this is what leads to finding friends who are truly kindred spirits," Leeds explains.

They boost you up.

Good friends support you and lift you up when you're down, with Page noting they can be our biggest champions. And as Leeds says, "A good friend is also someone who is committed to their own growth and encourages growth in you," adding that they won't feel jealous or competitive with you, and they'll inspire you to be the fullest version of yourself .

They're there for you.

When the going gets tough, good friends get going. Just like our romantic relationships require effort, maintenance, and care, so, too, do our friendships. As Page puts it, being a good friend requires choice after choice to elevate the importance of your friendship.

"It's this unconditional sense of being there for them, even when you see your friend acting out the same mistakes again and again," he says. Whether they're a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or simply an overall positive force in your life, good friends are there for you when you need them.

They share in your happiness and pain.

The best friends in our lives are the ones who can celebrate our wins with us but also share in our pain. Page says you know you've got a good friend when you accomplish something and can tell your friend is truly happy for you. "They feel pride for you, they feel joy for you, and they celebrate with you—and a true friend will also hurt for you when you're hurting ," he explains, adding that in the hardest times, having good friends to cushion our landing is so essential.

They're honest with you.

There's a difference between being supportive and enabling certain behaviors . While a good friend will help see you through hard times, you'll also be able to trust in their honesty with you. Or as Page puts it, "You can trust your friend to be kind but also be truthful."

And what's more, a good friend can also remind you when you're acting out the same old patterns in your job, relationship, family, etc.—because in plain terms, they know you well enough to call you on your BS. "In long-term friendships, you see the long arcs of patterns, and so good friends are invaluable because they can point this stuff out," Page explains.

You can be your truest self around them.

We all need people we feel we can really be ourselves around—no phoniness, no social mask, and no pretending. As Leeds tells mindbodygreen, good friends are trustworthy, understanding, and supportive, so in their presence, you'll be comfortable to show up authentically, which further leads to relaxation and a sense of belonging. "Typically," she adds, "those who have the qualities of a good friend offer a high level of openness, integrity, and acceptance."

And as psychotherapist Jinnie Cristerna, LCSW, Rh.D., CHt,  previously told mindbodygreen, "Being able to have fun and share special memories are the result of having a trusting relationship that feels safe."

They're emotionally mature.

Good friends have the emotional maturity to understand healthy conflict resolution and general relationship maintenance, with Leeds noting that people who make good friends typically have an emotional depth, safety, and authenticity to them. Especially in long-term friendships, there will undoubtedly come a time when you butt heads—but that won't send a true friend running.

"Just like in a romantic relationship, you have to cultivate friendship," Page explains, mentioning a quote from Marianne Williamson where she says, As I grow emotionally, my friends become more like lovers—and my lovers become more like friends.

They make time for you.

No one wants to be friends with a total flake, and one basic necessity of a good friend is that they make time for you. Tying back to the idea of general friendship maintenance, Page explains that a good friend will be there for you even when it's not convenient for them and requires their physical or emotional availability.

And as Leeds adds, good friends are also great listeners and skilled communicators. "They show up to the friendship with consistency, kindness, and nonjudgment, [...] putting in effort and prioritizing spending time together," she explains, adding that they'll also be willing to take responsibility for their share of the friendship (i.e., initiating plans and reaching out to check in).

You can trust and be vulnerable with each other.

Quality friendships have a high degree of trust, openness, and vulnerability. You probably wouldn't want to pair up with an emotionally unavailable partner, and the same ought to be true for our friends. They'll be willing to get vulnerable and share truths with you (and you'll feel like you can do the same), Page explains, whether they open up about their relationship, family, or a tough time they're going through.

There's an equal give and take.

Friendships can become one-sided when there isn't a balance of effort and care between both people, but a good friendship will feel reciprocal. As Leeds tells mindbodygreen, you'll feel a balance between being supportive and supported, with good friends having a generosity of spirit that prevents the relationship from slipping into one-sidedness.

They make you feel validated and seen.

Last but certainly not least, good friends will make you feel seen, understood, and validated. In some cases, Page says, they can even remind you of your best qualities when you're feeling down about yourself. "Our friends can instruct us around who we are and our deepest gifts when we don't see them ourselves," he explains. "They appreciate and point out and recognize these gifts, so that's another deep gift of friendship—there are some ways we wouldn't even know ourselves if our friends didn't help us see," he adds.

5 signs of a bad friend:

They don't respect you..

Mutual respect is a fundamental key to any healthy relationship, including friendships. Whether your friend disrespects your boundaries , your time, your efforts, or is just generally self-centered, that's not a good friend, according to Leeds.

And as Page adds, an unhealthy friendship is one where your friend's feelings of jealousy or envy are so strong that they can't feel happy for you, or they may not empathize when you're upset, instead just telling you what you're doing wrong, he notes. Overall, the respect just isn't there, and they don't make you feel good to be around.

They're a fair-weather friend.

A fair-weather or one-sided friend is one who only seems to want to hang out when it benefits them in some way. But when you need them? They're nowhere to be found. As Page notes, these friends can be fun to have for certain activities in some instances, but they should be considered in your outer circle , not your innermost one.

They're manipulative.

Manipulation is never a sign of anything positive, so if your friend engages in bullying, guilt tripping, possessiveness, sabotaging, gaslighting, blaming, or any other number of manipulative tactics, watch out. As psychotherapist  Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT , previously told mindbodygreen , toxic friends "may place blame on you, like everything is always your fault, and you're to blame for everything in the relationship."

Keep your eye out for excessive gossiping, as well. According to Leeds, "Some gossip is normal in most friendships, but if gossip takes on a large role or feels mean-spirited, this is a sign that this person is likely talking about you behind your back too, which will erode the emotional safety in the relationship."

They drag you down.

If good friends boost you up, bad friends tear you down. Page explains that it's a major sign of a bad friend if you don't feel truly supported by them, they're competitive with you, or they simply don't feel good to be around.

"Other qualities to be wary of," Leeds adds, "are not feeling aligned with your friend's values, dishonesty, and if they are critical or frequently very negative." She explains that friends with these qualities will likely drag you down, and if you have to contort who you are in the friendship, "it's fair to assume that you are not comfortable with your friend [or] they are judgmental or not understanding."

They're emotionally immature.

Emotional maturity is required to maintain any healthy relationship, and friendships are no exception. According to Nuñez a toxic friend will always find a way to circle the conversation back to themselves, for instance, or they'll find a way to blame you for everything.

And as Page tells mindbodygreen, emotionally immature people will have a hard time getting vulnerable or even working through issues in the friendship, which will make it very difficult to sustain.

What are 5 signs of a good friend?

Five key signs of a good friend include a natural chemistry between the two of you, reciprocal effort and support in the relationship, and authenticity, empathy, and trust.

What makes someone a bad friend?

A bad friend is someone who is disrespectful, competitive, jealous, self-absorbed, lacks empathy, and generally doesn't make you feel good to be around.

What makes a friendship strong?

A strong friendship requires authenticity, openness, trust, vulnerability, empathy, and reciprocal effort, support, and care.

The takeaway

We tend to give a whole lot of thought to what we want in a partner, but figuring out what we want in our friends is just as important to our overall well-being and life satisfaction. As Leeds says, we are deeply influenced by those we are close to, "so look for friends who inspire you to be the fullest version of yourself."

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Essay on Qualities Of A Good Friend

Students are often asked to write an essay on Qualities Of A Good Friend in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Qualities Of A Good Friend

Introduction.

A good friend is like a treasure. We all want friends who are kind, loyal, and honest. But, what makes a friend truly good? Here are some qualities that define a good friend.

Trustworthiness

Trust is a key quality. A good friend is someone you can rely on. They keep your secrets safe, and you know they won’t let you down. They show you that you can trust them through their actions.

A good friend is kind. They are always there to lend a helping hand. They care about your feelings and try to make you feel better when you’re sad. They share your happiness and your sadness.

Honesty is another important quality. A good friend tells you the truth, even when it’s hard. They give you honest advice because they want the best for you. They don’t lie or hide things from you.

Loyalty is a must in a good friend. They stand by your side no matter what. They support you and defend you. They stay true to you even when times are tough.

In conclusion, a good friend is trustworthy, kind, honest, and loyal. These are the qualities that make a friend special. So, if you have a friend with these qualities, treasure them. They are truly a gift.

250 Words Essay on Qualities Of A Good Friend

Friends play a crucial role in our lives. They are like the family we choose for ourselves. Good friends are a blessing, and they possess certain qualities that make them special.

Trustworthy

A good friend is trustworthy. They keep our secrets safe and never break our trust. We can rely on them in tough times, knowing they won’t let us down.

Loyalty is another quality of a good friend. They stand by us in good and bad times. They don’t leave us when things get tough. They are always there to support us.

Understanding

A good friend understands us. They know our strengths and weaknesses. They accept us as we are without trying to change us. They are patient and tolerant with us.

Honesty is a key quality of a good friend. They are truthful and sincere. They tell us the truth, even if it’s hard to hear. They don’t lie or deceive us.

Kind and Caring

A good friend is kind and caring. They show love and care for us. They help us when we need it and share our happiness and sadness.

In conclusion, a good friend is like a treasure. They are trustworthy, loyal, understanding, honest, and kind. They enrich our lives and make our journey more enjoyable. Everyone should strive to be a good friend and value the good friends they have.

500 Words Essay on Qualities Of A Good Friend

Friendship is one of the most beautiful relationships in the world. It is a bond that is built on trust, respect, and mutual understanding. A good friend is a treasure that can make our lives more meaningful and enjoyable. But what makes a good friend? Let’s explore some of the qualities that a good friend should have.

Trust is the foundation of any friendship. A good friend is someone who you can trust completely. They will keep your secrets safe, and you can count on them to be there for you in times of need. They will never betray your trust or let you down.

Honesty is another important quality of a good friend. They will always tell you the truth, even if it might hurt your feelings. They believe in the importance of being honest and will not deceive you or lie to you. Their honesty helps to build trust in the friendship and makes the relationship stronger.

Supportiveness

A good friend is always supportive. They stand by you in your ups and downs, cheering you on when you succeed and lifting you up when you fall. They believe in you and your abilities, and they are always there to encourage and motivate you. They are your biggest cheerleader and your most reliable shoulder to lean on.

Understanding is a vital quality of a good friend. They understand your feelings, your thoughts, and your actions. They accept you for who you are, with all your strengths and weaknesses. They do not judge you or try to change you. Instead, they appreciate your individuality and respect your decisions.

Respect is another essential quality of a good friend. They respect your opinions, your choices, and your personal space. They consider your feelings and are careful not to hurt you. They value your friendship and show it through their actions and words.

In conclusion, a good friend is someone who is trustworthy, honest, supportive, understanding, and respectful. These qualities make a friend more than just a companion; they make them a confidant, a supporter, and a valuable part of our lives. Having such a friend can bring joy, comfort, and richness to our lives. Therefore, it’s important to choose our friends wisely and to strive to be a good friend ourselves. After all, to have a good friend, we must first be a good friend.

Remember, a good friend is like a four-leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have. So, if you have such a friend, cherish them, appreciate them, and hold onto them tightly. Because a good friend is a true blessing in life.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Qualities Of A Good Father
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Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

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• Essay on a Good Friend

Essay on a Good Friend for Students in English

An essay is a creative writing skill that enhances the imagination of a writer in every way and provides wings to paint their canvas of mind with their creativity. Essays have been widely used by people in every field to exchange and share their thoughts, experiences and ideas without any foundation. Unlike reports, formal and informal letters, Notices, Advertisements and other formats of writing, an essay gives the writer more flexibility to create without any pressure of how, what and when in the format and content. That makes an essay one of the most important writing skills to learn for anyone and everyone.

An essay is always an important part of the syllabus for students in their language subject right from Class 1. This continues to hold relevance to higher and senior secondary education and even after school. Especially for the students who pursue language in their bachelor's degree, the essay becomes an important part of their everyday learning. It is, therefore, advised for students to learn the basics about essays right from the beginning so that with consistent effort and practice they will get fully prepared for the same in their subsequent classes. 

In most subjective competitive exams, essays play the role of a necessary role to fulfil. In the Mains examination of Civil Services, essays constitute a major weightage in the marking scheme and have proven to be a game-changer for a lot of students. In other examinations as well that include language papers in them, essays only help them to perform better. Even in the objective question papers, a good essayer can perform better than other students in answering Unseen passages or compositions. Practising Essays also improves the vocabulary of the students to dive into creativity and make it a little more than beautiful.

A good friend is a person who is capable of caring, irrespective of any conditions or whether he/she is being cared for or not. A good friend never judges us for our mistakes but only encourages us to do better and become responsible human beings.

Long Essay on a Good Friend

Friendship can exist between any beings and it is not only confined to humans only. Some people call their pets their best friends because they love them unconditionally without expecting anything in return. It surpasses age and could be found between even an old man and a small boy. Friendship is the most important relationship because it is not defined by any social boundaries or roles. A good friend will always look out for you in any situation. As there is an old saying- “Friend in need is a friend indeed”.

Yet friendship is separated from love in our society, but we have to ask ourselves that don’t we love our friends? If two lovers are not great friends then the relationship will face many clashes as they still are playing roles. Friendship detaches you from your roles in society and allows you to explore the unknown, where you can be yourself with the other, our friend accepts us as we are, we become friends because of the way we are.

Role of a Good Friend

A good friend sticks by your side both in your good times and hard times. They always provide you with support to rely on during troubled situations; they inspire you not to lose hope and peace in life. They are the ones with whom we celebrate our joy and success. A true friend is almost like your sibling, who has seen your good and bad sides and knows all your faults and your strength and yet remains completely unbiased with you.

As we grow older we realise that a good friend is always tough to find.  We cannot always expect to meet people who will turn out to be good friends and will stay along with us for a long time. So it is very much important not to lose contact with close friends over some time. We all get busy in life to fulfil our needs and desires of earning money and sometimes we lose touch with our good friends. This only brings out the worst as we are no longer in touch with the energy that always supported us at some point in our life.

Do Friendships require Regular Calls and SMS?

A true friendship will never require daily conversations or daily spending of time together. Fellowship recognizes the concept of personal space. A good friend will always give you the privacy you need and allow you to go about your life as you always wanted. A good friendship thrives over gaps of silence. You can go a very long time without any interaction and then one day meet to realise nothing has changed at all.

Traits of Good Friends

Good Listeners - It is of utmost necessity that a friend should be a very good listener.

Reliable - A good friend is one whom you can rely on for anything and everything. People share maximum secrets with their friends only.

Loyalty - True friends are always loyal to each other. A good friend will never try to betray you in any way, talk bad about you behind your back or do anything that questions your friendship.

Trust - Good friends are always trustworthy. One should have friends to whom you can share all your secrets without any fear of getting disclosed.

Short Essay on a Good Friend

Throughout our lives, we meet many people either physically or on social media. Some of them only remain our acquaintances, while others end up becoming some of our very closest friends. The very close ones become like family members. Some say a good friend is just like our family member that we choose for ourselves.

It is always a matter of luck if one gets a good friend in their life. True friendship takes time and trust to build. It does not require any hard work or external push, because it is fun to be around friends. The hard part is to maintain a friendship for a long time. One silly mistake, and all the years’ worth of trust breaks in a split second.

Friendship is not bound by people’s financial status. A king can be a best friend to a poor beggar and poor labour can be a good friend to a rich industrialist. As we all have heard the story of Lord Krishna that he was in unconditional true friendship with poor Sudama. The friendship of Krishna and Sudama is a milestone for many people. They were like true soul mates.

Good Friend Essay Conclusion

Friendship is one of the best relationship bonds that people share in the world. A good friendship is developed on the foundation of trust, loyalty, and faith. Without love and emotions, no friendship can last long. We must make valuable friendships throughout our lives. They help us through life. We all must have one good friend whom we can always trust and rely on.

How does Vedantu help Students in learning Essay writing? 

Vedantu is an online learning platform that ensures a 360-degree quality learning of the students by providing necessary study material for free and important courses for different exams. 

For Essay writing in English, Vedantu provides Topic wise explanations on different topics of essays. In addition to this, Vedantu also provides free access to study material including NCERT text with solutions, Solved CBSE Sample question papers and Previous Year's question papers, Important Questions and keynotes for better revision, solved reference material including all four sections of composition, writing, NCERT text and novel for students. 

To initiate master learning in the English language, Vedantu also provides English courses like Spoken English course for students of age 7 to 14, Personalised English reading course for students of age 4 to 6. Curious students or parents can initiate their success with Vedantu by starting with a free online counseling session. Students can register at Vedantu or download the Vedantu app from the play store or app store and register themselves there. 

FAQs on Essay on a Good Friend

1. Who is a Good Friend?

A good friend is the one who stands by us through thick and thin. He or she never judges us for our actions and always acts as a guiding light in the moment of darkness. A good friend can motivate us to achieve our dreams by reminding us what we are good at.

2. Why doesn’t a Good Friend fall apart while away for some time?

It’s because true friendship has no boundaries and cannot only thrive during physical meetings. A good friend always gives us our space to explore and waits to listen to our findings.

3. What makes a Good Friend?

Good friends are always caring, loyal, passionate, and critical of you. These qualities make a friend a good friend, the person who talks behind your back and laughs at you can never be your good and true friend.

4. Why is learning and practising the essay "A Good Friend" so important for students to score high marks in Exams?

Essays always come with a good weightage of marks in the respective subject. This ensures that students should at least prepare for all the possible topics that are important and have chances to be asked in exams. The essay on "A Good Friend" is an important topic in this regard to cover. This topic has been seen to be repeatedly used in question papers especially for the junior Classes of 1 to 7. By learning this essay and practising it over and over prepares the students for the other related topics as well. It also provides necessary keywords that can be used in different topics of essay writing. Therefore, before going to the exam hall, students of all classes should at least have a reading on the essay topic "A Good Friend".

5. What is the importance of learning Essay writing for the students of all classes?

Essay writing is the most conventional and convenient way to share ideas without boundaries or boundation. Essay writing is the easiest way to convey a message or share a piece of information on any subject. Be it CBSE, ICSE or even state board exams of any class, Essay writing always holds a relevant weightage not only in English, Hindi and other language subjects like Sanskrit but for all the subjects especially Social Science and other theoretical subjects. It helps students learn the necessary writing skills and presentation of any spontaneous topic. This is necessary for all the subjective exams and even beyond exams, that is in life. By learning good essays, students will become pro at communicating their innovative ideas in the simplest way possible. 

6. What should be the approach of students to learn about Essay writing and other questions of the writing section in the english language Exam?

English Writing includes several questions like writing Reports, Notices, formal and informal letters, articles, advertisements, posters, matrimonials, resumes etc. One such topic among them is essay writing. Once the students properly learn essay writing then it becomes easier for them to decode the other formats of writing. As a result, essay writing becomes the foundation of learning all the other formats of writing. Students who wish to master essay writing should immerse themselves in reading. That's right. Reading spontaneous content of sample papers, unseen passages, and unread chapters will give your mind a habit to create fresh and exciting images which is the first requirement of writing a good essay. For this, students can find sample Question Papers of English at Vedantu to start right away. After some time, reading should become a habit so students can start writing and check their writing by themselves to see where they could get better. Keep practising the same from different question papers and voila, you made it!

My son is profoundly autistic. Please don’t say he’s merely ‘neurodiverse.’

Advocates are fighting to eliminate terminology that accurately describes my son and thousands of people like him — who can’t speak up for themselves..

I t was pure coincidence that I happened upon the bloody site. Hoping to surprise my son, I drove to his favorite walking trail, along a lakefront, where I caught sight of police officers in a tense confrontation. Three officers stood side by side in an impenetrable wall while instructing someone splayed out and writhing on the ground. I hope Zack doesn’t get distracted by this scene , I thought.

As I neared the trail, I saw Zack’s aide, slouched inside her car, fully absorbed in texting. She was supposed to remain beside him at all times, but he was not with her. I called out to her, “Where’s Zack?” as my throat tightened with the realization he was nowhere in sight. I began sprinting toward the police officers — only to discover with mounting horror that Zack was the scene they were dealing with.

He was ravaging his forearms with deep, mutilating bites, thrashing angrily on the ground, and then rising to charge at the officers, who patiently but sternly reminded him to “stay seated” and repeated “Don’t panic, you’re not in trouble.” Breaking into the scene, I began a frantic avalanche of contrition. “I’m so sorry, I don’t know what triggered this —” But I was abruptly cut off by an officer who stated calmly, “Yes, we understand who he is and that he’s petrified.”

Somewhere during his sojourn along the lake, Zack, who was 20 years old at the time, had abruptly sat down too close to a woman seated on a bench, who gingerly told him to put on a COVID mask — and Zack bit her on the shoulder for what he perceived as a reprimand. The woman immediately summoned the police, not in anger but in compassion, realizing this young man was seriously disabled and apparently unattended.

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“He’s not in trouble, the woman’s not pressing charges,” the officer assured me. “We’ve been trying to get him to recount a phone number of someone we could contact —” He halted, spying a robust purple bruise on my calf and deep bite marks encrusted with dried blood along my arms. His tone turned solemn. “I can only imagine what you’ve been through. I do understand.”

I stood in stunned silence. I was not prepared for them to be prepared. It had been 45 minutes since they first gathered around Zack with no identifying information, 45 minutes during which his very safety hinged not only on the instincts of a benevolent stranger whom he assaulted but on a shared understanding by all involved of his clinical identity — that Zack is profoundly autistic.

What’s remarkable about Zack’s behavior is how unremarkable it is. Autism has been on an inexplicable rise with no signs of a plateau. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention estimates that 1 in every 36 children born today has autism, and 1 in every 4 of those will have “profound autism,” a clinical distinction for those with much higher needs than the more verbally and intellectually able people who also have an autism diagnosis. Individuals like Zack with profound autism have minimal or no expressive language and require round-the-clock care to assist with daily living activities and safeguard them from extreme behaviors such as self-injury, the destruction of property, and “elopement” — the term for running or wandering away from caregivers or secure locations.

But while parents like me struggle to manage our children’s dangerous impulses, a powerful cultural movement has taken hold that forbids open discussion of profound autism and its manifestations. Advocates for “neurodiversity” are seeking to eliminate the term “profound autism” — on the grounds, they say, that it makes it seem as if autism is always an affliction. And now they are bullying doctors, researchers, lawmakers, and the rest of society into ignoring truths about Zack’s disorder that define his life.

Sanitizing Zack’s diagnosis and intense needs is dangerous. That day out on the lakefront trail, my son’s safety turned on the officers’ ability to decode from his conspicuous behaviors that he has profound autism in particular. They told me they realized that Zack’s refusal to identify himself to them despite repeated requests stemmed from an inability to articulate salient information in a moment of acute stress. They employed a measured response to his rage by speaking in succinct, assertive phrases, repeating reassurances, and maintaining a physical distance. If they hadn’t had such precise training , which depends on recognizing precise clinical criteria rather than employing general descriptors such as “neurodiverse,” the scenario could have gone very differently — with his arrest, forcible restraint, and even suffocation and death.

The intimidation campaign

I embrace many of neurodiversity’s fundamental tenets, especially the idea that people with intellectual disabilities should be broadly accepted and included in society.

I’ve staked my career on this principle — I used to work in the US Department of Justice as a disability rights attorney. I witnessed firsthand the exclusion of people with physical and cognitive disabilities from the rituals of daily life most other people take for granted. And I believe parents and professionals must aspire to discern a child’s authentic needs rather than superimpose our own preferences on them or force them into compliant molds of “normal.” Our children do not need to be “typical” to thrive in a society designed for its vast majority, nor is that an attainable goal.

But the concept of neurodiversity is going into dangerous territory if diagnostic distinctions across the spectrum are now considered archaic and bigoted.

In 2021, the medical journal The Lancet published a report from a commission of worldwide medical experts who recognized the need for “profound autism” as a discrete diagnostic category. The backlash was swift and mighty.

Autistic self-advocates launched a virulent campaign to quash the term, arguing that it had arisen, in the words of self-advocate Julia Bascom , “because some parents . . . see their kids as needing different kinds of support and different levels of restriction. But they are wrong on all counts.” The Global Autistic Task Force on Autism Research, an advocacy group, responded to The Lancet commission by saying : “For more than 30 years, autistic people have resisted functioning labels as misleading and offensive.”

As neurodiversity advocates denounce any framing of autism as a disability that requires medical intervention, they demand more support systems for people with autism, such as independent living “that honors authentic forms of human diversity.” Groups like the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network, people who identify on social media as #ActuallyAutistic, and parent activists insist that there is no such thing as a “normal” brain, only relative differences that render all humans “differently abled.”

To them, frank discussions about profound autism give a distorted image of people like Zack as unpredictable, cognitively limited, and presenting more behavioral challenges than the general population. Except the image is not distorted. While it’s painful to accept, these descriptors are accurate. Over the course of a single day, Zack, who is now 23, might furiously pummel his head in rage, slam his body into a wall, and bite me hard enough to draw blood.

The neurodiversity advocates — whose members are distinguished precisely by their ability to advocate for themselves, as Zack cannot — are not illuminating the complexity of autism; they are castigating into submission anyone who dares to deviate from their accepted language.

Intolerance for the term “profound autism” is leaching into medical journals and doctors’ practices. Doctors who’ve devoted their careers to treating children who compulsively ravage their flesh and slam their skulls into the ground are now verbally castrated on social media and “canceled” from lectures so regularly that preserving their livelihood requires stifling crucial medical data . It’s become common for autism self-advocates to “shout down” researchers imparting medical data at conferences or to call the researchers out on social media for online hazing and threats by neurodiverse mobs.

Today, both experienced and newer autism researchers contemplate leaving the field because, as one University of California scientist, David Amaral , observed, “People are getting reluctant to give public presentations or to be too vocal about what they’re finding,” despite the fact that “science is supposed to be about communication.” Top research institutions like the National Institutes of Health (NIH), tasked with conducting clinical trials to illuminate the disorder, face vitriolic accusations of being “ableist” and uncomprehending of the very people they are trying to help.

After the The Lancet’s commission recognized “profound autism” in 2021, the journal published an article by a doctor who wrote: “Generally, physicians think that disability is medical, and that if a patient’s condition interferes with their daily life, they are disabled. This traditional, medical model of disability does not address societal factors that influence disability, nor does it recognize disability as a cultural identity. Viewing disability as an issue stemming from an impaired body can encourage physicians to view disabled patients’ quality of life negatively . . . and to offer treatments aiming to fix the patient.”

This is absurd. I know of no person with profound autism who proudly identifies self-mutilating or violent impulses as core to their “cultural” identity. There is nothing bigoted about striving to ameliorate dangerous behaviors.

More critically, it is not the role of medical researchers to kowtow to trending cultural demands at the expense of addressing medically life-threatening conditions. Erasing diagnostic distinctions will make it impossible to perform research into the behaviors that are associated with profound autism — research that could lead to drugs that could benefit people across the entire autism spectrum. Although about 27 percent of all people with autism have profound autism, the condition is already underrepresented in clinical trials, which typically exclude those with an IQ lower than 70.

Two years ago, my son was abruptly ensnared in a cycle of self-injury, physical assaults, and chronic insomnia that within days catapulted him into a dangerously manic state — during which he risked seizures and seriously injuring anyone in proximity to him. Introducing anti-psychotic medicine delivered the jolt of serotonin to Zack’s brain that allowed him to reclaim his stability. Might other medicines become available that would work better? A movement that vilifies any medical mention of “risk,” “limitations,” or extreme behaviors has the power to thwart the development of such urgently needed drugs.

I hope Congress hears parents like me

The Autism CARES Act, which allocates NIH-funded research and services, sunsets on Sept. 30. Fierce debates are already underway about what Congress should do when it reauthorizes this funding. On one side stand autistic self-advocates who rally against any research not explicitly approved by them. On the other are parents who are desperate for clinical advancements but are so engulfed in the daily ordeal of managing their profoundly autistic children’s aggression and property destruction that they are largely incapable of organizing. The few dedicated parents calling for NIH to set aside funding to specifically address “profound autism” are vastly outnumbered by neurodiverse advocates who seek to block the act from passing if such “stigmatizing” language is included.

The loudest voices seek to abolish all spending on autism medical research and replace it with select services, such as workforce initiatives, that assist only those with milder autism. It’s here that the idea of neurodiversity poses the greatest threat — a movement that celebrates autism in all its forms, and depicts even the most severe afflictions as “merely a difference,” vehemently opposes any investigation into autism’s causes as ableist.

The truth is that we still don’t know what explains the steep rise in autism — perhaps it’s the product of widespread environmental contaminants altering our children’s brains — and this increase needs urgent attention. As these children age, state programs already strained by the deluge of adults needing lifelong services threaten to collapse entirely. Capitulating to self-advocates’ demands amid a global proliferation of one of the gravest disorders of our time is not only morally incoherent but medical malpractice.

In the natural course of events, every profoundly autistic child will eventually be orphaned by the most qualified and dedicated caretakers he’s ever known — his parents. Absent meticulous advance planning and abundant resources, that child will be automatically transitioned by the state to placement in a residential living arrangement. For that child to be placed appropriately depends entirely upon having accurate clinical information about the intensity of his needs, taking into account the possibility of physical aggression, self-injury, elopement, property destruction, seizures, and other overlapping medical needs. I’m confident that if a person facing homelessness and a precariously uncertain future were asked whether he values a safe residential arrangement over semantics that obscure his diagnosis, he would choose the former.

For the record, any language that contorts or constricts the full scope of Zack’s identity is something I find deeply offensive. Zack has struggled with innumerable obstacles and heartbreak in navigating a world that does not come naturally to him, and his competence is strengthening to this day. Blurring his identity under the indistinct banner of “neurodiverse” erases Zack’s lived history — all that he has endured and overcome to get here.

Whitney Ellenby is a former disability rights attorney in the US Department of Justice and the author of the 2018 book “Autism Uncensored: Pulling Back the Curtain.” She is also the founder of Autism Ambassadors, which runs recreational events for over 800 families affected by autism in the Washington, D.C., area.

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A Former Leader of the Hells Angels Motorcycle Gang Joins Trump in Court

Chuck Zito, who did time on drug conspiracy charges, has tried to recast his persona as a general-purpose tough guy around town.

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By Matthew Haag and Alan Feuer

• May 20, 2024

An entourage of more than a dozen supporters who joined President Donald J. Trump in a Manhattan courthouse on Monday included a former president of an outlaw motorcycle gang in New York City who spent years in prison on drug charges.

The man, Chuck Zito, helped found in the early 1980s the New York Nomads chapter of the Hells Angels, the infamous club that started in California. The Justice Department described the organization as a criminal enterprise and linked the New York chapter to the Gambino crime family. Mr. Zito later left the biker group to try to become a movie star in Hollywood.

Mr. Trump has long shown an affection for macho bikers, and addressed a rally of them in Washington in 2016 before the election. (“Do we love the bikers? Yes. We love the bikers,” he told the crowd.) A group called Bikers for Trump took part in several so-called Stop the Steal rallies after Mr. Trump lost the 2020 election.

Mr. Zito was joined in the courtroom on Monday by several Trump allies who have been charged with crimes.

They included Boris Epshteyn, a legal adviser indicted in an Arizona case related to attempts to keep Mr. Trump in power after the 2020 election, and Bernard Kerik, the former commissioner of the New York Police Department, who was imprisoned for tax-related charges and later pardoned by Mr. Trump. The entourage was so large that Mr. Epshteyn helped coordinate seating.

Mr. Zito has experience with the criminal justice system, having served a prison term from 1985 to 1991 on drug conspiracy charges. In recent decades, he has created a new career as a stuntman and occasional actor, starring most prominently as Chucky “The Enforcer” Pancamo in the HBO prison drama “Oz.”

Mr. Zito is also something of a professional tough-guy-about-town with many acquaintances in New York and Hollywood. He once served as a boxing trainer for the actor Mickey Rourke, and when the mob boss John Gotti died of cancer in 2002, Mr. Zito was one of the few non-Mafia members to attend the wake at a funeral home in Queens.

Matthew Haag writes about the intersection of real estate and politics in the New York region. He has been a journalist for two decades. More about Matthew Haag

Alan Feuer covers extremism and political violence for The Times, focusing on the criminal cases involving the Jan. 6 attack on the Capitol and against former President Donald J. Trump.  More about Alan Feuer

Our Coverage of the Trump Hush-Money Trial

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The defense rested its case after Donald Trump declined to take the stand  at his own criminal trial. Closing arguments will take place on May 28.

The testimony of Robert Costello, the main witness for the defense, focused on his relationship with Michael Cohen , Trump’s former fixer and the prosecution’s star witness.

How are conservative and liberal media outlets covering Justice Juan Merchan, the judge in the trial? Here’s a look .

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Susan lucci says ‘the golden bachelorette’ contacted her camp about possibly starring, breaking news.

‘Bad Friends’ Animated Comedy From Andrew Santino & Bobby Lee In Works At Hulu

By Nellie Andreeva

Nellie Andreeva

Co-Editor-in-Chief, TV

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EXCLUSIVE : In a competitive situation with several major adult animation players interested, Hulu has landed for development Bad Friends . The animated project comes from Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee , the duo behind the comedy podcast of the same name.

Created by Lee, Nick Kreiss, Santino and Andres Salaff, the potential series will be written by Kreiss and Santino.

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Launched in 2020 by comedians Lee and Santino, Bad Friends , which showcases their improv skills, has become a top comedy podcast across platforms, including Apple and Spotify.

On the strength of streaming hits like  Family Guy  and  Bob’s Burgers ‘ current and previous seasons, Hulu has been looking to expand its original adult animation offerings beyond shows like  Solar Opposites  and the  Futurama  revival. The streamer also recently commissioned an animated presentation for Journey to the Center of the Internet.

Lee is repped by CAA, Santino is with UTA. Kreiss is repped by Underground and attorney Ryan Goodell.

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Essay on My Best Friend for Students and Children

500+ words essay on my best friend.

Friendship is one of the greatest blessings that not everyone is lucky enough to have. We meet a lot of people in the journey of life but there are only a few who leave a mark on us. My best friend is one such person who has been able to make a positive impact on my life. We have been a part of each other’s lives for the longest time and our friendship is still developing. She has been with me through all the thicks and thins. Most importantly, I feel extremely fortunate to have someone as a best friend in my life. In this essay on my best friend, I will tell you about how we became friends and about her best qualities.

Our Friendship

Our friendship started when my best friend came in as a new admission to our class. Both of us were hesitant to talk to each other at first, but gradually we developed a bond. I remember the first time my best friend tried to talk to me; I rolled my eyes because I thought there was no use and we wouldn’t hit it off. However, to my surprise, we became best friends by the end of the session year.

We learned so many things about each other and found out that our taste in music and fashion was so similar. Since then, there was no stopping us. We spent all our time together and our friendship became the talk of the class. We used to help each other out in studies and visited each other’s homes as well. We made sure to have lunch together on Sundays. We also used to watch movies and cartoons together.

On our summer break, we even went to summer camp together and made a lot of memories. Once during the summer holidays, she also accompanied me to my maternal grandparents’ home. We had a fabulous time there. Moreover, we even invented our own handshake which only both of us knew. Through this bond, I learned that family doesn’t end with blood because my best friend was no less than my family. Friendship is one relationship that you choose, unlike all other relationships.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Qualities of My Best Friend

I feel one of the main reasons why I formed such a bond with my best friend was because of the qualities she possesses. Her courage always inspired me to raise my voice against injustice as she always stood up to her bullies. She is also one of the smartest minds in class who doesn’t only excel academically but also in life. I have never seen a dancer as good as my best friend, the accolades she has won are proof of her talent.

Above all, I feel the quality that appeals to me the most is her compassion . Whether it’s towards humans or animals, she always keeps the same approach. For instance, there was an injured stray dog that was wailing in pain, my best friend did not only get him treated but she also adopted him.

Similarly, she saw a poor old woman on the streets one day and she only had money for her lunch. My best friend did not hesitate once before giving all of it to the poor lady. That incident made me respect her even more and inspired me to help the underprivileged more often.

Get English Important Questions here

In short, the bond I share with my best friend is one of my most prized possessions. Both of us inspire each other to become better humans. We push each other to do our best and we are always there in need. A best friend is indeed a precious gem and I am fortunate to have found that gem of my life.

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FAQs on Essay on My Best Friend

Q.1 Why is it important to have a best friend?

A.1 It is important for everyone to have a best friend as they are our well-wishers with whom one can share everything. In other words, it gets tough to share things with your parents or siblings, but with a best friend, we never hesitate. Additionally, they always support us and boost our confidence.

Q.2 What are the essential qualities of a best friend?

A.2 A best friend should be understanding. One must be able to share anything with them without the fear of being judged. They should be supportive and encouraging of one another. Subsequently, one must always look out for their best friends in times of need.

Q.3. Should you consider all your friends on various Social media as true friends?

A.3  You may have a number of friends on Social media, but they cannot be considered as true friends. Most of them are mere acquaintances. People with whom you talk only occasionally because they are in the same school, college, colony or workplace, but there is no bond of a true friend are acquaintances. A true friend is a person to whom you would go during your hard time seeking help. However, some acquaintances may become friends as time passes by. Thus, we can say that all friends on Social media are not your true friends.

Q.4. Can you have a negative influence on your life due to friends?

A.4  Friends greatly influence one’s life. It is always said that your company defines your character. Friends with good qualities have a positive influence on your life. They motivate you and guide you. Similarly, friends who have bad qualities can negatively influence your life.

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A second home in Ireland is a “special place” to host friends for this Wisconsin woman

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Even though affording one house is still out of reach for many Americans, owning a second house is not too uncommon . As of 2020, there were more than 7 million second homes in the U.S., making up more than 5% of housing stock.

And while sometimes a second home means a cabin up north, or a summer getaway away from the city, that second residence can also sometimes be a little further afield.

Aileen Smith has always loved Ireland, and, because her brother has lived there since 2001, she’s visited the country frequently. Now, she splits her time between Wauwatosa, Wisconsin, in the U.S., where her permanent residence is, and Tramore in County Waterford, Ireland, where she bought a second home in 2022 to host visitors.

“My daughter said, ‘Maybe you should rent first,’ which I thought was a smart thing to say. That felt more like what a mom would say to a daughter,” said Smith. “And I said, ‘You know, I’m pretty sure that this is what I want to do and that I don’t think I need to test it.'”

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