how i value myself essay

11 Simple Ways to Value Yourself More

Self-worth and self-value play integral roles in how you see and treat yourself in your everyday life. Learn how to utilize both to value yourself through your words and actions.

What Is Self Worth?

The idea of self-worth comes down to feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect. If you value yourself, you inherently feel that you are kind, compassionate, and respectful, and are worthy of those same things in return.

Aligning ourselves to our own self-worth allows us to move into more actionable steps that grow and nurture that worth. This is done through self-value.

What Is Self-Value?

While self-worth is more emotional, self-value is more behavioral. This is where we take the foundation of how we feel about ourselves and put it to work. Self-value is the driving vehicle that allows us to walk the walk and act in ways that align with what we value.

This shows up in the way we talk to people or in steps we take to speak our truth. Both self-worth and self-value feed off of one another, but it’s helpful to point out the subtle differences.

How Do They Differ?

Self-worth is at the core of our being. It’s how we step into our life and our purpose, and how we develop our worthiness as human beings. We can also argue that a healthy sense of self-worth is highly responsible for the decisions we make, relationships we foster, and life paths we choose.

On the other hand, if you don’t value yourself, it can lead to boughs of aggressive self-criticism and deprecating self-image. [1]

Self-value is the action that keeps us aligned to that self-worth. We can also think of self-value as another feeding element of the bigger umbrella term of self-worth. Valuing ourselves is represented in actionable ways, many of which are highlighted below. When we learn how to value ourselves, not only do we nurture our self-worth, but we also extend that energy out to our communities and the people in them.

How to Value Yourself

1. acknowledge the inner critic.

We all have that loud inner voice that isn’t always kind. It interjects when we have ideas and projects at hand, and it often persuades us from taking that leap of faith or believing in ourselves. When left unchecked, the inner critic can have devastating effects on our self-esteem. [2]

This is no place for our self-worth to grow. Wresting with this critic is often a lifelong journey, but a first good step is to acknowledge it. So many people live the length of their life with this voice on autopilot, never realizing how much of a dictator it has become. When you can pause and acknowledge that it is calling the shots, you can learn to take back your power and value.

2. Receive a Compliment

The next time someone compliments you, notice if you’re quick to send that compliment back or wave your hand dismissively so as not to attract attention. We’re so afraid of coming off as needy, that we hardly ever receive the good words someone sends our way. Really, the true culprit here is that we don’t often believe we’re worthy of the compliment!

The beautiful truth here is that we don’t often see ourselves in the same way others see us. So, the next time someone says something nice about you, believe them and receive their words fully.

3. Be Grateful for Effort

It’s not always easy to show up to life. We don’t always stop to examine just how much effort we put forth in everyday living. One way to value yourself more is to be grateful for everything you do.

It’s easy to be critical and wish you’d done better, but you’re always doing the best that you can. Keep that up and celebrate small progress. Your entire being will thank you, tenfold.

Forgive Yourself Often

When things don’t go as planned, practice forgiveness . When people hurt you, practice forgiveness. Holding on to grudges, whether from others or yourself, is like intentionally plaguing yourself with burdens that you don’t need to carry.

Forgiveness is the free remedy that can alleviate so much of our suffering when we hold onto bitterness. [3] It’s worthy of implementing it into our everyday life.

5. Practice Affirmations in the Mirror

Words carry a potent amount of power, and positive words are like little miracles waiting to sprout! Because the eyes are the mirror to that soul, practicing speaking affirmations in the mirror is even more potent.

When we can catch our own gaze and fill our space with positive words, we send that energy deep into our own psyche. Affirmations may be something like, “I am loved and loving” or “Today, I embrace myself as I am.”

6. Give Attention to Your Dreams

Whether you’d like to write them out in your journal or make a vision board , giving attention to your dreams is a never-ending cycle of self-value and worth. Your dreams are your deepest desires and wishes.

When you shine a light on them, you’re feeding your soul and heart in a way that is spiritually and emotionally fulfilling. You’re also teaching and empowering yourself to believe that you are worthy of those dreams.

7. Let Go of Comparison

You are as unique as a snowflake. There is no one else out there quite like you. We all know that “comparison is the thief of joy.” It’s easy to compare ourselves to others and think that we’re behind or lacking in some way.

That’s simply not true.

You are exactly where you need to be in the timeframe of your life. Trust and believe that everyone walks their path in due and divine timing. Instead of focusing on what others have over you, focus on your own unique journey and get excited at the opportunities to come.

8. Find Ways to Serve Others

When we come into the practice of selfless service (or seva , in Sanskirt [4] ), we simultaneously feed our own self-worth and value. Giving to others is more than just volunteering; it’s offering something of ourselves that is uniquely precious and our own.

Whether you have a certain skill you’d like to share, or even just your time, your community benefits from you sharing your own personal contribution to the world.

9. Accept Yourself as You Are

There is no use in re-living the past; it’s done. There is no use in wondering about the future; it has not come yet. In the present moment, your greatest gift to yourself is accepting yourself as you are right now.

The world is more complete when you show up as authentically as you can . It gives others the courage to do so, as well. No doubt you will change and evolve as your life progresses, but right now, how can you show up as yourself?

10. Don’t Settle for Less

If you’re unhappy, notice that you are and start to ask yourself what would make you happier. You don’t have to tolerate anything or anyone who doesn’t bring you joy and contentedness.

We often think that we have to sacrifice our own happiness for some bottom line, but that’s untrue. There are always choices in life. It’s up to you to believe that you are worthy of the best ones.

11. When in Doubt, Remember Your Perseverance

Life has a funny way of throwing curveballs. If there is anything that can dampen your self-worth, it’s thinking that you’re not enough or have somehow failed. When this happens, think about your end-goal or dream. Remember that perseverance is the limitless supply of fuel that is always at your disposal to keep reaching further.

Final Thoughts

Self-worth is the umbrella term that represents our core being and who we are at the center of our humanness. The steps we take to actionably align ourselves to that worth is the definition and purpose of self-value.

One might think that such steps are complex and time-consuming. Thankfully, they’re anything but. Learning to value yourself requires a gentle shift in perspective to how you show up in your life. Such small yet potent changes can make all the difference for yourself and the greater good.

[1]	^	PsychAlive:
[2]	^	GoodTherapy:
[3]	^	Mayo Clinic:
[4]	^	Yogapedia:

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What is Self-Worth & How Do We Build it? (Incl. Worksheets)

What is Self-Worth and How Do We Increase it? Definition, Quotes + 4 Worksheets

There’s self-esteem, self-compassion, self-acceptance, self-respect, self-confidence, self-love, self-care, and so on.

There are so many words to describe how we feel about ourselves, how we think about ourselves, and how we act toward ourselves. It’s understandable if they all start to blend together for you; however, they are indeed different concepts with unique meanings, findings, and purposes.

Read on to learn more about what may be the most vital “self-” concept of them all: self-worth.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will not only help you show more compassion and kindness to yourself but will also give you the tools to help your clients, students or employees improve their self-compassion and realize their worth.

This Article Contains:

What is the meaning of self-worth and self-value, the psychology of self-worth.

What Is Self-Worth Theory?

What Determines Self-Worth?

3 examples of healthy self-worth, how to find self-worth and value yourself more, the importance of self-worth in relationships, the risks of tying your self-worth to your job, the self-worth scale, 5 activities and exercises for developing self-worth, 2 worksheets that help increase self-worth, meditations to boost self-worth, recommended books on self-worth, must-watch ted talks and youtube videos, 12 quotes on self-worth, a take-home message.

Self-worth and self-value are two related terms that are often used interchangeably. Having a sense of self-worth means that you value yourself, and having a sense of self-value means that you are worthy. The differences between the two are minimal enough that both terms can be used to describe the same general concept.

However, we’ll provide both definitions so you can see where they differ.

Self-worth is defined by Merriam-Webster as:

“a feeling that you are a good person who deserves to be treated with respect”.

On the other hand, self-value is “more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value, including yourself, than how you feel about yourself compared to others” (Stosny, 2014).

Self-Worth versus Self-Esteem

Similarly, there is not a huge difference between self-worth and self-esteem , especially for those who are not professionals in the field of psychology. In fact, the first definition of self-worth on the Merriam-Webster dictionary website is simply “self-esteem.”

Similarly, the World Book Dictionary definition of self-esteem is “thinking well of oneself; self-respect,” while self-worth is defined as “a favorable estimate or opinion of oneself; self-esteem” (Bogee, Jr., 1998).

Clearly, many of these terms are used to talk about the same ideas, but for those deeply immersed in these concepts, there is a slight difference. Dr. Christina Hibbert explains this:

“Self-esteem is what we think and feel and believe about ourselves. Self-worth is recognizing ‘I am greater than all of those things.’ It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth.” (2013).

Self-Worth versus Self-Confidence

In the same vein, there are subtle but significant differences between self-worth and self-confidence.

Self-confidence is not an overall evaluation of yourself, but a feeling of confidence and competence in more specific areas. For example, you could have a high amount of self-worth but low self-confidence when it comes to extreme sports, certain subjects in school, or your ability to speak a new language (Roberts, 2012).

It’s not necessary to have a high sense of self-confidence in every area of your life; there are naturally some things that you will simply not be very good at, and other areas in which you will excel. The important thing is to have self-confidence in the activities in your life that matter to you and a high sense of self-worth overall.

We explore this further in The Science of Self-Acceptance Masterclass© .

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What Is the Self-Worth Theory?

The self-worth theory posits that an individual’s main priority in life is to find self-acceptance and that self-acceptance is often found through achievement (Covington & Beery, 1976). In turn, achievement is often found through competition with others.

Thus, the logical conclusion is that competing with others can help us feel like we have impressive achievements under our belt, which then makes us feel proud of ourselves and enhances our acceptance of ourselves.

The theory holds that there are four main elements of the self-worth model:

Performance;
Self-worth.

The first three interact with each other to determine one’s level of self-worth. One’s ability and effort predictably have a big impact on performance, and all three contribute to one’s feeling of worth and value.

While this theory represents a good understanding of self-worth as we tend to experience it, it is unfortunate that we place so much emphasis on our achievements. Aside from competing and “winning” against others, there are many factors that can contribute to our sense of self-worth.

However, people commonly use other yardsticks to measure their self-worth. Here are five of the top factors that people use to measure and compare their own self-worth to the worth of others:

Appearance—whether measured by the number on the scale, the size of clothing worn, or the kind of attention received by others;
Net worth—this can mean income, material possessions, financial assets, or all of the above;
Who you know/your social circle—some people judge their own value and the value of others by their status and what important and influential people they know;
What you do/your career—we often judge others by what they do; for example, a stockbroker is often considered more successful and valuable than a janitor or a teacher;
What you achieve—as noted earlier, we frequently use achievements to determine someone’s worth (whether it’s our own worth or someone else’s), such as success in business, scores on the SATs, or placement in a marathon or other athletic challenge (Morin, 2017).

Author Stephanie Jade Wong (n.d.) is on a mission to correct misunderstandings and misperceptions about self-worth. Instead of listing all the factors that go into self-worth, she outlines what does not determine your self-worth (or, what should not determine your self-worth):

Your to-do list: Achieving goals is great and it feels wonderful to cross off things on your to-do list, but it doesn’t have a direct relationship with your worth as a human;
Your job: It doesn’t matter what you do. What matters is that you do it well and that it fulfills you;
Your social media following: It also doesn’t matter how many people think you are worthy of a follow or a retweet. It can be enlightening and healthy to consider the perspectives of others, but their opinions have no impact on our innate value;
Your age: You aren’t too young or too old for anything. Your age is simply a number and does not factor into your value as a human being;
Other people: As noted above, it doesn’t matter what other people think or what other people have done or accomplished. Your personal satisfaction and fulfillment are much more important than what others are thinking, saying, or doing;
How far you can run: Your mile run time is one of the least important factors for your self-worth (or for anything else, for that matter). If you enjoy running and feel fulfilled by improving your time, good for you! If not, good for you! Your ability to run does not determine your self-worth;
Your grades: We all have different strengths and weaknesses, and some of us are simply not cut out for class. This has no bearing on our value as people, and a straight-A student is just as valuable and worthy as a straight-F student or a dropout;
The number of friends you have: Your value as a human has absolutely nothing to do with how many friends or connections you have. The quality of your relationships is what’s really important;
Your relationship status: Whether flying solo, casually dating, or in a committed relationship, your value is exactly the same—your relationship status doesn’t alter your worth;
The money (or lack thereof) in the bank: If you have enough money to physically survive (which can, in fact, be $0), then you have already achieved the maximal amount of “worth” you can get from money (hint: it’s 0!);
Your likes: It doesn’t matter if you have “good taste” or not, if your friends and acquaintances think you’re sophisticated, or if you have an eye for the finer things. Your worth is the same either way.
Anything or anyone but yourself: Here we get to the heart of the matter—you are the only one who determines your self-worth. If you believe you are worthy and valuable, you are worthy and valuable. Even if you don’t believe you are worthy and valuable, guess what—you still are worthy and valuable!

“ If I succeed at this, I will feel more valuable as a person. ”

Have you ever had a similar thought? You are certainly not alone. While objectively, your worth is not conditional on anything, most of us constantly evaluate our worth as human beings.

Blascovich and Tomaka (1991) describe self-esteem as the extent to which an individual evaluates themselves favorably. Consequently, the core process underlying self-esteem is self-evaluation, and people use many standards and domains to determine their worthiness (Crocker & Wolfe, 2001).

Domains represent the areas where people believe success means that they are wonderful or worthwhile, and failure means that they are worthless (Crocker & Wolfe, 2001).

For example, the self-worth of person A may be greatly determined by academic performance, while the self-worth of person B may be determined mainly by appearance.

Noticing the domains your use as a frame of reference to determine your self-worth is the first step toward developing more unconditional self-acceptance. The self-reflection questions shared below explore created conditions used to determine ‘worthiness’ and later lead beyond these conditions.

Note that there is a difference between evaluating actions and evaluating personal worth. We can learn from our mistakes and grow as individuals by assessing our efforts. However, by evaluating our personal worth, we can threaten our wellbeing.

You might be thinking, “Okay, I know what does and doesn’t (and shouldn’t) determine self-worth, but what does healthy self-worth really look like?”

Given what we know about the determinants of self-worth, let’s read through a few examples.

Bill is not a great student. He gets mostly Bs and Cs, even when he spends a great deal of time studying. He didn’t get a great score on his SATs, and he’s an average reader, a struggling writer, and nobody’s idea of a mathematician.

Even though Bill wishes he had better grades, he still feels pretty good about himself. He knows that grades aren’t everything and that he’s just as valuable a person as his straight-A friends. Bill has a high sense of self-worth and a realistic view of himself and his abilities.

Next, let’s consider Amy. Amy has a wide variety of interests, including marathons, attending book club, playing weekly trivia with her friends, and meeting new people.

Amy’s not particularly good at running and has never placed in a marathon. She’s a slow reader and frequently misses the symbolism and themes that her fellow book club members pick up on. She only answers about 10% of the trivia questions correctly and leans on her friends’ knowledge quite often. Finally, she loves to talk to new people but sometimes she gets blown off and ignored.

Despite all of this, she still believes that she is worthy and valuable. She knows that her worth as a human is not dependent on her ability to run, read, play trivia, or make new friends. Whether she is great, terrible, or somewhere in between at each of her vast range of chosen activities, she knows she is still worthy of happiness, fulfillment, and love.

Finally, consider the case of Marcus. Marcus is an excellent salesman and frequently outsells most of the other people at his company, but one coworker seems to always be just a bit ahead of him. He is also an avid squash player and frequently competes in tournaments. Sometimes he gets first or second place, but usually he does not place at all.

Even though he is not the best at his job or at his favorite hobby, Marcus still feels that he is valuable. He thinks he is smart, talented, and successful, even though he’s not the smartest, most talented, or most successful, and he’s okay with that.

Bill, Amy, and Marcus all have healthy levels of self-worth. They have varying levels of abilities and talents, and they get a wide range of results from their efforts, but they all understand that what they do is not who they are. No matter whether they win awards or garner accolades for their performance or not, they still have the same high opinion of their value as a person.

There are things you can do to boost your sense of self-worth and ensure that you value yourself like you ought to be valued—as a full, complete, and wonderful human being that is deserving of love and respect, no matter what.

How to build self-worth in adolescents

As with most lifelong traits, it’s best to start early. If you know any adolescents, be sure to encourage them to understand and accept their own self-worth. Reinforce their value as a being rather than a “doing,” as some say—in other words, make sure they know that they are valuable for who they are, not what they do.

If you need some more specific ideas on how to boost an adolescent’s self-worth, check out the suggestions below.

Researchers at Michigan State University recommend two main strategies:

Provide unconditional love, respect, and positive regard;
Give adolescents opportunities to experience success (Clark-Jones, 2012).

Showing a teen unconditional love (if you’re a parent, family member, or very close friend) or unconditional respect and positive regard (if you’re a teacher, mentor, etc.) is the best way to teach him self-worth.

If you show a teenager that you love and appreciate her for exactly who and what she is, she will learn that it’s okay to love herself for exactly who and what she is. If you demonstrate that she doesn’t need to achieve anything to earn your love and respect, she’ll be much less likely to put unnecessary parameters on her own self-love and self-respect.

Further, one way in which we gain a healthy sense of self-worth is through early and frequent experiences of success. Successful experiences boost our sense of competency and mastery and make us feel just plain good about ourselves.

Successful experiences also open the door for taking healthy risks and the success that often follows. Don’t just tell a teen that she is worthy and valuable, help her believe it by giving her every opportunity to succeed.

Just be sure that these opportunities are truly opportunities for her to succeed on her own—a helping hand is fine, but we need to figure out how to do some things on our own to build a healthy sense of self-worth (Clark-Jones, 2012).

How to increase self-worth and self-value in adults

It’s a bit trickier to increase self-worth and self-value in adults, but it’s certainly not a lost cause. Check out the two tips below to learn how to go about it.

First, take a look back at the list of what does not determine self-worth. Remind yourself that your bank account, job title, attractiveness, and social media following have nothing to do with how valuable or worthy a person you are.

It’s easy to get caught up in chasing money, status, and popularity—especially when these things are highly valued by those around us and by society in general—but make an effort to take a step back and think about what truly matters when determining people’s worth: their kindness, compassion, empathy, respect for others, and how well they treat those around them.

Second, work on identifying, challenging, and externalizing your critical inner voice. We all have an inner critic that loves to nitpick and point out our flaws (Firestone, 2014). It’s natural to let this inner critic get the best of us sometimes, but if we let her win too often she starts to think that she’s right!

Whenever you notice your inner critic start to fire up with the criticisms, make her pause for a moment. Ask yourself whether she has any basis in fact, whether she’s being kind or not, and whether what she’s telling you is something you need to know. If none of those things are true, feel free to tell her to see herself out!

Challenge her on the things she whispers in your ear and remind her that no matter what you do or don’t do, you are worthy and valuable all the same.

For more specific activities and ideas, see the exercises, activities, and worksheets we cover later in this piece.

It’s an understandable tendency to let someone else’s love for you encourage you to feel better about yourself. However, you should work on feeling good about yourself whether you are in a relationship or not.

The love of another person does not define you, nor does it define your value as a person. Whether you are single, casually seeing people, building a solid relationship with someone, or celebrating your 30th wedding anniversary with your spouse, you are worthy of love and respect, and you should make time to practice self-acceptance and self-compassion.

This is true for people of any relationship status, but it may be especially important for those in long-term relationships.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that your partner’s love is what makes you worthy of love. If anything ever happens to your partner or to your relationship, you don’t want to be forced to build up your sense of worth from scratch. It can make breakups and grief much harder than they need to be.

Although this facet of the issue might be enough to encourage you to work on your self-worth, there’s another reason it’s important: Having a healthy sense of self-worth will actually make your current relationship better too.

When you learn to love yourself, you become better able to love someone else. People with high self-respect tend to have more satisfying, loving, and stable relationships than those who do not, precisely because they know that they need to first find their worth, esteem, and happiness within themselves.

Two people who are lit with self-worth and happiness from within make are much brighter than two people who are trying to absorb light from each other (Grande, 2018).

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Similar to the dangers of anchoring your self-worth to someone else, there are big risks in tying your self-worth to your job. Like a significant other, jobs can come and go—sometimes without warning.

You can be let go, laid off, transitioned, dehired, dismissed, downsized, redirected, released, selectively separated, terminated, replaced, asked to resign, or just plain fired. You could also be transferred, promoted, demoted, or given new duties and responsibilities that no longer mesh with the sense of self-worth your previous duties and responsibilities gave you.

You could also quit, take a new job, take some time off, or retire—all things that can be wonderful life transitions, but that can be unnecessarily difficult if you base too much of your self-worth on your job.

As noted earlier, your job is one of the things that don’t define you or your worth. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of what you do, finding joy or fulfillment in it, or letting it shape who you are; the danger is in letting it define your entire sense of self.

We are all so much more than a job. Believing that we are nothing more than a job is detrimental to our wellbeing and can be disastrous in times of crisis.

If so, you’re in luck. There is a scale that is perfectly suited for this curiosity.

Also known as the Contingencies of Self-Worth Scale, this scale was developed by researchers Crocker, Luhtanen, Cooper, and Bouvrette in 2003. It consists of 35 items that measure self-worth in seven different domains. These seven domains, with an example item from each domain, are:

Approval from others (i.e., I don’t care if other people have a negative opinion of me);
Physical appearance (i.e., my self-esteem is influenced by how attractive I think my face or facial features are);
Outdoing others in competition (i.e., my self-worth is affected by how well I do when I am competing with others);
Academic competence (i.e., I feel bad about myself whenever my academic performance is lacking);
Family love and support (i.e., my self-worth is not influenced by the quality of my relationships with my family members);
Being a virtuous or moral person (i.e., my self-esteem depends on whether or not I follow my moral/ethical principles);
God’s love (i.e., my self-esteem would suffer if I didn’t have God’s love).

Each item is rated on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 7 (strongly agree). Once you have rated each item, sum the answers to the five items for each domain and divide the total by 5 for the sub-scale score.

To learn more about this scale or use it to determine your own self-worth, click here .

According to author and self-growth guru Adam Sicinski, there are five vital exercises for developing and maintaining self-worth. He lays them out in five stages, but there’s no need to keep them in strict order; it’s fine to move back and forth or revisit stages.

1. Increase your self-understanding

An important activity on the road to self-worth is to build self-understanding. You need to learn who you are and what you want before you can decide you are a worthy human being.

Sicinski recommends this simple thought experiment to work on increasing your understanding of yourself:

Imagine that everything you have is suddenly taken away from you (i.e., possessions, relationships, friendships, status, job/career, accomplishments and achievements, etc.);
Ask yourself the following questions: a. What if everything I have was suddenly taken away from me? b. What if all I had left was just myself? c. How would that make me feel? d. What would I actually have that would be of value?
Think about your answers to these questions and see if you can come to this conclusion: “No matter what happens externally and no matter what’s taken away from me, I’m not affected internally”;
Next, get to know yourself on a deeper level with these questions: a. Who I am? I am . . . I am not . . . b. How am I? c. How am I in the world? d. How do others see me? e. How do others speak about me? f. What key life moments define who I am today? g. What brings me the most passion, fulfillment, and joy?
Once you have a good understanding of who you are and what fulfills and satisfies you, it’s time to look at what isn’t so great or easy about being you. Ask yourself these questions: a. Where do I struggle most? b. Where do I need to improve? c. What fears often hold me back? d. What habitual emotions hurt me? e. What mistakes do I tend to make? f. Where do I tend to consistently let myself down?
Finally, take a moment to look at the flipside; ask yourself: a. What abilities do I have? b. What am I really good at?

Spend some time on each step, but especially on the steps that remind you of your worth and your value as a person (e.g., the strengths step).

2. Boost your self-acceptance

Once you have a better idea of who you are, the next step is to enhance your acceptance of yourself.

Start by forgiving yourself for anything you noted in item 5 above. Think of any struggles, needs for improvement, mistakes, and bad habits you have, and commit to forgiving yourself and accepting yourself without judgment or excuses.

Think about everything you learned about yourself in the first exercise and repeat these statements:

I accept the good, the bad and the ugly;
I fully accept every part of myself including my flaws, fears, behaviors, and qualities I might not be too proud of;
This is how I am, and I am at peace with that

3. Enhance your self-love

Now that you have worked on accepting yourself for who you are, you can begin to build love and care for yourself. Make it a goal to extend yourself kindness, tolerance, generosity, and compassion .

To boost self-love, start paying attention to the tone you use with yourself. Commit to being more positive and uplifting when talking to yourself.

If you’re not sure how to get started, think (or say aloud) these simple statements:

I feel valued and special;
I love myself wholeheartedly;
I am a worthy and capable person (Sicinski, n.d.).

4. Recognize your self-worth

Once you understand, accept, and love yourself, you will reach a point where you no longer depend on people, accomplishments, or other external factors for your self-worth.

At this point, the best thing you can do is recognize your worth and appreciate yourself for the work you’ve done to get here, as well as continuing to maintain your self-understanding, self-acceptance, self-love, and self-worth.

To recognize your self-worth, remind yourself that:

You no longer need to please other people;
No matter what people do or say, and regardless of what happens outside of you, you alone control how you feel about yourself;
You have the power to respond to events and circumstances based on your internal sources, resources, and resourcefulness, which are the reflection of your true value;
Your value comes from inside, from an internal measure that you’ve set for yourself.

5. Take responsibility for yourself

In this stage, you will practice being responsible for yourself, your circumstances, and your problems.

Follow these guidelines to ensure you are working on this exercise in a healthy way:

Take full responsibility for everything that happens to you without giving your personal power and your agency away;
Acknowledge that you have the personal power to change and influence the events and circumstances of your life.

Remind yourself of what you have learned through all of these exercises, and know that you hold the power in your own life. Revel in your well-earned sense of self-worth and make sure to maintain it.

Check out the four worksheets below that can help you build your self-worth.

About Me Sentence Completion Worksheet

This worksheet outlines a simple way to build self-worth. It only requires a pen or pencil and a few minutes to complete. Feel free to use it for yourself or for your adult clients, but it was designed for kids and can be especially effective for them.

This worksheet is simply titled “About Me: Sentence Completion” and is exactly what you might expect: it gives kids a chance to write about themselves. If your youngster is too young to write down his own answers, sit with him and help him record his responses.

The sentence stems (or prompts) to complete include:

I was really happy when . . .
Something that my friends like about me is . . .
I’m proud of . . .
My family was happy when I . . .
In school, I’m good at . . .
Something that makes me unique is . . .

By completing these six prompts, your child will take some time to think about who he really is, what he likes, what he’s good at, and what makes him feel happy.

Self-Esteem Sentence Stems worksheet.

Self-Esteem Checkup

This worksheet is good for a wide audience, including children, adolescents, young adults, and older adults. The opening text indicates that it’s a self-esteem worksheet, but in this case, the terms self-esteem and self-worth are used interchangeably.

Completing this worksheet will help you get a handle on your personal sense of understanding, acceptance, respect, and love for yourself.

The worksheet lists 15 statements and instructs you to rate your belief in each one on a scale from 0 (not at all) to 10 (totally or completely). These statements are:

I believe in myself;
I am just as valuable as other people;
I would rather be me than someone else;
I am proud of my accomplishments;
I feel good when I get compliments;
I can handle criticism;
I am good at solving problems;
I love trying new things;
I respect myself;
I like the way I look;
I love myself even when others reject me;
I know my positive qualities;
I focus on my successes and not my failures;
I’m not afraid to make mistakes;
I am happy to be me.

Add up all of the ratings for these 15 statements to get your total score, then rate your overall sense of self-esteem on a scale from 0 (I completely dislike who I am) to 10 (I completely like who I am).

Finally, respond to the prompt “What would need to change in order for you to move up one point on the rating scale? (i.e., for example, if you rated yourself a 6 what would need to happen for you to be at a 7?)”

Click here to preview this worksheet for yourself or click here to view it in a collection of self-esteem-building, small-group counseling lesson plans.

If you’re a fan of meditations , check out the four options below. They’re all aimed at boosting self-worth:

A Guided Meditation to Help Quiet Self-Doubt and Boost Confidence from Health.com;
Guided Meditation for Inner Peace and Self-Worth from Linda Hall;
Guided Meditation: Self-Esteem from The Honest Guys Meditations & Relaxations;

If you’re not fond of any of these four meditations, try searching for other guided meditations intended to improve your self-worth. There are many out there to choose from.

To learn more about self-worth and how to improve it, check out some of the most popular books about this subject on Amazon:

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to Be and Embrace Who You Are by Dr. Brené Brown ( Amazon );
What to Say When You Talk to Your Self by Dr. Shad Helmstetter ( Amazon );
The 21-Day Self-Love Challenge: Learn How to Love Yourself Unconditionally, Cultivate Confidence, Self-Compassion & Self-Worth by Sophia Taylor ( Amazon );
Love Yourself: 31 Ways to Truly Find Your Self Worth & Love Yourself by Randy Young ( Amazon );
Self-Worth Essentials: A Workbook to Understand Yourself, Accept Yourself, Like Yourself, Respect Yourself, Be Confident, Enjoy Yourself, and Love Yourself by Dr. Liisa Kyle ( Amazon );
Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse ( Amazon ).

If you’re more of a watcher than a reader, there are some great TED Talks and YouTube videos you can check out, including:

TED Talk: Meet Yourself: A User’s Guide to Building Self-Esteem by Niko Everett

In her talk, Niko Everett, the founder of the organization Girls for Change, discusses inspiring ways to build up your self-esteem.

TED Talk: Claiming Your Identity by Understanding Your Self-Worth by Helen Whitener

Judge Helen Whitener discusses self-worth through the lens of social justice and equality in this talk.

A Clever Lesson in Self Worth from Meir Kay

Sometimes all we need to kickstart or motivate us to work on our self-love and self-worth is a good, insightful quote. If that’s what you’re looking for, read on.

You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.

Louise L. Hay

The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.

Sahaj Kohli

Why should we worry about what others think of us, do we have more confidence in their opinions than we do our own?

Brigham Young

Don’t rely on someone else for your happiness and self-worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can’t love and respect yourself—no on else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are—completely; the good and the bad—and make changes as YOU see fit—not because you think someone else want you to be different.

Stacey Charter

Your problem is you’re afraid to acknowledge your own beauty. You’re too busy holding onto your unworthiness.

It’s surprising how many persons go through life without ever recognizing that their feelings toward other people are largely determined by their feelings toward themselves, and if you’re not comfortable within yourself, you can’t be comfortable with others.

Sidney J. Harris

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is never too late to be what you might have been.

George Eliot

Stay true to yourself. An original is worth more than a copy.

Suzy Kassem

17 Exercises To Foster Self-Acceptance and Compassion

Help your clients develop a kinder, more accepting relationship with themselves using these 17 Self-Compassion Exercises [PDF] that promote self-care and self-compassion.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Self-worth is an important concept for both researchers and laymen to understand, and it’s especially important for us to be able to identify, build, and maintain a normal, healthy sense of self-worth.

Learning about self-worth can teach you how to be more happy and fulfilled in your authentic, loveable self.

What do you think is the most important takeaway from research on this topic? Do you think a lack of self-worth is a problem? Or perhaps you think an excess of self-worth is the bigger problem today? Let us know in the comments section.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self Compassion Exercises for free .

Blascovich, J., & Tomaka, J. (1991). Measures of self-esteem. Measures of Personality and Social Psychological Attitudes, 1, 115-160.
Bogee, Jr., L. (1998). Leadership through personal awareness. University of Hawaii. Retrieved from http://www.hawaii.edu/intlrel/LTPA/selfwort.htm
Clark-Jones, T. (2012). The importance of helping teens discover self-worth. Michigan State University – MSU Extension. Retrieved from http://www.canr.msu.edu/news/the_importance_of_helping_teens_discover_self-worth
Covington, M. V., & Beery, R. G. (1976). Self-worth and school learning. Oxford, UK: Holt, Rinehart & Winston. https://www.amazon.com/dp/0030152860/
Crocker, J., Luhtanen, R. K., Cooper, M. L., & Bouvrette, A. (2003). Contingencies of self-worth in college students: Theory and measurement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 85 , 894–908. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.85.5.894
Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. Psychological Review, 108(3), 593. https://psycnet.apa.org/buy/2001-07628-004
Firestone, L. (2014). Essential tips for building true self-worth. Psych Alive. Retrieved from https://www.psychalive.org/self-worth/
Grande, D. (2018). Building self-esteem and improving relationships. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/201801/building-self-esteem-and-improving-relationships
Hibbert, C. (2013). Self-esteem vs. self-worth. Dr. Christina Hibbert. Retrieved from https://www.drchristinahibbert.com/self-esteem-vs-self-worth/
Morin, A. (2017). How do you measure your self-worth? Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201707/how-do-you-measure-your-self-worth
Roberts, E. (2012). The difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. Healthy Place. Retrieved from https://www.healthyplace.com/blogs/buildingselfesteem/2012/05/the-difference-between-self-esteem-and-self-confidence
Sicinski, A. (n.d.). How to build self-worth and start believing in yourself again. IQ Matrix. Retrieved from https://blog.iqmatrix.com/self-worth
Stosny, S. (2014). How much do you value yourself? Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/anger-in-the-age-entitlement/201406/how-much-do-you-value-yourself
Wong, S. J. (n.d.). 13 things that don’t determine your self-worth. Shine. Retrieved from https://advice.shinetext.com/articles/12-things-that-dont-determine-your-self-worth/

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So, you check the appropriate boxes in a worksheet you somehow develop self worth?

This was very helpful, thank you. It encapsulated a lot of topics I wanted to touch on during therapy. Well-researched and written 🙂 Especially love how you linked how most people who struggle with self-worth, struggle with relationships.

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College essay

How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples

Published on September 21, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on May 31, 2023.

An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability. Your essay shouldn’t just be a resume of your experiences; colleges are looking for a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

To write about your achievements and qualities without sounding arrogant, use specific stories to illustrate them. You can also write about challenges you’ve faced or mistakes you’ve made to show vulnerability and personal growth.

Start with self-reflection, how to write about challenges and mistakes, how to write about your achievements and qualities, how to write about a cliché experience, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

Before you start writing, spend some time reflecting to identify your values and qualities. You should do a comprehensive brainstorming session, but here are a few questions to get you started:

What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
Whom do you admire most and why?
What are the top five things you are thankful for?
What has inspired your hobbies or future goals?
What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

As you self-reflect, consider how your values and goals reflect your prospective university’s program and culture, and brainstorm stories that demonstrate the fit between the two.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

Writing about difficult experiences can be an effective way to show authenticity and create an emotional connection to the reader, but choose carefully which details to share, and aim to demonstrate how the experience helped you learn and grow.

Be vulnerable

It’s not necessary to have a tragic story or a huge confession. But you should openly share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences to evoke an emotional response from the reader. Even a cliché or mundane topic can be made interesting with honest reflection. This honesty is a preface to self-reflection and insight in the essay’s conclusion.

Don’t overshare

With difficult topics, you shouldn’t focus too much on negative aspects. Instead, use your challenging circumstances as a brief introduction to how you responded positively.

Share what you have learned

It’s okay to include your failure or mistakes in your essay if you include a lesson learned. After telling a descriptive, honest story, you should explain what you learned and how you applied it to your life.

While it’s good to sell your strengths, you also don’t want to come across as arrogant. Instead of just stating your extracurricular activities, achievements, or personal qualities, aim to discreetly incorporate them into your story.

Brag indirectly

Mention your extracurricular activities or awards in passing, not outright, to avoid sounding like you’re bragging from a resume.

Use stories to prove your qualities

Even if you don’t have any impressive academic achievements or extracurriculars, you can still demonstrate your academic or personal character. But you should use personal examples to provide proof. In other words, show evidence of your character instead of just telling.

Many high school students write about common topics such as sports, volunteer work, or their family. Your essay topic doesn’t have to be groundbreaking, but do try to include unexpected personal details and your authentic voice to make your essay stand out .

To find an original angle, try these techniques:

Focus on a specific moment, and describe the scene using your five senses.
Mention objects that have special significance to you.
Instead of following a common story arc, include a surprising twist or insight.

Your unique voice can shed new perspective on a common human experience while also revealing your personality. When read out loud, the essay should sound like you are talking.

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

Writing process
Transition words
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Paraphrasing

Communication

How to end an email
Ms, mrs, miss
How to start an email
I hope this email finds you well
Hope you are doing well

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Personal pronouns
Conjunctions

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Cite this Scribbr article

If you want to cite this source, you can copy and paste the citation or click the “Cite this Scribbr article” button to automatically add the citation to our free Citation Generator.

Courault, K. (2023, May 31). How to Write About Yourself in a College Essay | Examples. Scribbr. Retrieved September 23, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/college-essay/write-about-yourself/

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How to Improve Your Self-Worth and Why It's Important

Delmaine Donson / Getty Images

Factors That Influence Self-Worth

Gauging your self-worth, importance of self-worth.

How to Improve Self-Worth

If you’ve heard the term “self-worth,” you’re probably wondering what exactly it means and why it’s important.

According to the American Psychological Association (APA), your self-worth is your evaluation of yourself as a capable and valuable human being deserving of consideration and respect. It is an internal sense of being worthy of love .

We often think about terms like “respect,” “love,” and “consideration” with regard to our relationships with others, such as our friends, family members, colleagues, and neighbors. However, the term “self-worth” is a gauge of how much we respect, love, and value ourselves.

People with positive self-worth tend to have greater self-confidence and self-esteem. Having low self-worth, on the other hand, means judging oneself harshly, having a low opinion of oneself, and tending to focus on one's mistakes and shortcomings, rather than one's abilities and strengths.

Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD

It’s important to have self-worth because it impacts everything you do from your relationships, to how you work, how you feel about yourself, and how others view you.

This article explores the importance of self-worth and suggests some strategies to help you improve your self-worth.

Self-worth is a subjective concept that can fluctuate based on many variables, says Sabrina Romanoff , PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

According to Dr. Romanoff, these are some of the factors that may influence self-worth:

Core beliefs and values
Thoughts and feelings
Emotions and mental well-being
Experiences and interactions with others
Relationships , both past and present
Health and physical fitness
Career and profession
Activities and hobbies
Community and social status
Financial position
Physical appearance
Childhood experiences

If you’re trying to gauge your self-worth , Dr. Romanoff says it may be helpful to ask yourself the following questions:

How much do you like, respect, and value yourself?
Which words would you use to describe yourself to a stranger?
When you self-reflect and think about yourself, are your thoughts generally positive, negative, or somewhere in between?
Do you believe you are worthy of others’ love, respect, and consideration?

Asking yourself these questions can help you introspect and get a sense of your own self-worth.

As you explore these thoughts, it can also be helpful to think about where your thoughts and beliefs around your self-worth originated from.

Below, Dr. Romanoff explains the benefits of having a healthy sense of self-worth and the potential pitfalls of having low self-worth.

Benefits of Positive Self-Worth

Folks with high self-worth carry with them a sense of confidence that they will be all right and manage whatever comes their way. While they are aware of areas in which they can improve, they don’t let their shortcomings define their identity. They are not afraid to pursue opportunities and have reasonable faith in their ability to deliver.

Self-worth also plays an important role in relationship dynamics. For example, if someone is treated poorly, their self-worth will likely have a large impact on their interpretation of the event—someone with low self-worth may blame themselves, whereas a person with healthy self-worth may not consider themselves deserving of mistreatment .

Therefore, having positive self-worth can help people set boundaries around how they are treated by others. Learning to ask for respect is what pushes others to be respectful.

According to a 2017 study, positive self-worth is associated with a greater sense of well-being and life satisfaction.

Potential Pitfalls of Low Self-Worth

Low self-worth is characterized by a negative view of oneself and a lack of trust in one’s abilities. As a result, there is a perpetual fear of failure, difficulty accepting positive comments, and a disproportionate focus on weaknesses.

Because there is a strong tendency to view oneself as unworthy, there is also a tendency to elevate others, in an effort to compensate. Someone with low self-worth may therefore minimize their needs, allow their boundaries to be infringed, go out of their way to please others, and be unable to stand up for themselves.

Low self-worth is highly correlated with depression and anxiety . As a result, people may experience symptoms like low mood, irritability, anxiety, fatigue, changes in weight, sleep difficulties, and inability to concentrate.

Strategies to Improve Your Self-Worth

Below, Dr. Romanoff shares some strategies that can help you boost your sense of self-worth:

Do things you enjoy and are good at: Getting good at something—and enjoying it—can provide positive reinforcement and feelings of proficiency and capability. Having regular reminders of your talents, strengths, and abilities can help make you more confident in other areas of your life as well.
Exercise and challenge yourself: Research shows us that physical activity is linked to a greater sense of self-worth. Inducing moderate strain on your body and striving towards increasingly advanced goals each time gives you tangible proof that you are capable of more than you thought. Exercise also recalibrates your mindset and offers both physical and mental benefits .
Challenge negative thoughts: Remember that thoughts are not facts. In fact, most of the time, they are distortions caused by internalized critics, stress, and situational demands. Next time you have a negative self-thought, think of an alternative realistic thought to replace it.
Seek support: You could also see a therapist for self-worth, if you notice that it’s constricting the quality of your functioning in your relationships, work, or emotional well-being. Having low self-worth can be like living life through restricted blinders. Sometimes complacency with this restriction grows, and people believe they are not worthy of more. In these instances, the perspective of a neutral, trained professional can be very effective.
Build self-worth in your children: The origins of low self-worth can often be traced back to the behaviors of adults in childhood, even if they were well-meaning. If you have children , it’s important to actively work toward building their self-esteem. Rather than rewarding them for external factors such as appearance or winning sports games or prizes, recognize and praise internal factors such as effort and determination. Focus on what your child can control because if their self-esteem is solely based on external factors, their self-esteem will be dependent on the next accomplishment.

A Word From Verywell

Having a healthy sense of self-worth is important and can contribute to better relationships , work, health, and overall mental and emotional well-being. If you think you might have low self-esteem, there are steps you can take to improve it and have a more positive view of yourself. Loving, respecting, and valuing yourself can be the first step toward gaining the love, respect, and consideration of others.

American Psychological Association. Self-worth . APA Dictionary of Psychology .

University of North Carolina Wilmington. Self-worth .

Du H, King RB, Chi P. Self-esteem and subjective well-being revisited: The roles of personal, relational, and collective self-esteem . PLoS One . 2017;12(8):e0183958. doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0183958

Sowislo JF, Orth U. Does low self-esteem predict depression and anxiety? A meta-analysis of longitudinal studies . Psychol Bull . 2013;139(1):213-240. doi:10.1037/a0028931

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Mental health conditions: Depression and anxiety .

Reddon H, Meyre D, Cairney J. Physical activity and global self-worth in a longitudinal study . Med Sci Sports Exerc . 2017;49(8):1606-1613. doi:10.1249/MSS.0000000000001275

By Sanjana Gupta Sanjana is a health writer and editor. Her work spans various health-related topics, including mental health, fitness, nutrition, and wellness.

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Tiny Buddha’s Breaking Barriers to Self-Care

“Your outlook on life is a direct reflection on how much you like yourself.” ~ Lululemon

“My existence on this earth is pointless.”

That thought crossed my mind every night before I fell asleep.

It had been several months since I graduated from high school and I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. My future plans were falling to pieces, and everyone around me kept telling me that I needed to start accomplishing things that I had not yet accomplished.

I was not where I thought I should be in life. Everyone had expectations that I hadn’t met. I became too focused on becoming a version of myself that everyone else wanted, and I constantly compared myself to other people who had already taken the dive into the next chapter of their life.

I was relentlessly questioned and judged for my slower progression in life, which convinced me that no one supported me or believed in me. I wondered why I even bothered to exist if I was getting nowhere and disappointing everyone. I began to blame everyone but myself for the state of misery I had fallen into.

My self-esteem began to suffer as the months went by. I felt inferior to everyone and it made me hate myself. I still did not know what I wanted to do with my life—and I was starting to not even care.

But several months and hundreds of needless self insults later, I decided to block out the negativity , both from myself and other people. I silenced the voice in my head that told me I wasn’t good enough and asked myself what would really make me happy.

I’ve always been very creative and expressive. I used to sing, act, and dance when I was younger. But my favorite thing has always been writing.

Some of the happiest moments in my life came from opportunities to express myself or put my heart and soul out for everyone to see. Every path I tried to take always led me back to writing.

I got to a point where I realized that I was only trying to pursue other paths because I thought that’s what other people would accept. I was afraid that if I let my imagination soar to all the different possibilities, people would tear me down or tell me to be “realistic.”

The bottom line is that I became paralyzed with this fear of not being accepted. I was afraid to be different or go my own way and pursue what truly made me happy. I put myself in a box.

One day, I decided that enough was enough. I spent an entire year of my life trying to be “realistic” and conform to the expectations of other people. I realized that you can’t please everyone anyway, so trying will definitely not lead to contentment.

Real happiness comes from being content with and proud of yourself .

I finally decided that I was going to devote my time to learning about writing and working on my writing skills. I am happy with that decision and I feel better about myself because I made it for me.

I have learned a few things about choosing the right path for yourself, focusing on what will make you happy. If you’ve been struggling to make that choice, I recommend:

Drop your worries.

Worry puts a burden on your mind, body, and spirit. They can keep you up all night if you let them. Find comfort in the fact that everything happens for a reason and everything will fall into place at the right time.

During my period of low self-esteem and extreme uncertainty, I relentlessly questioned every aspect of my life. I would go to bed frustrated and upset as I told myself I wasn’t good enough, and that I wished I was like everyone else my age.

By constantly bashing yourself and worrying about every single thing that happens to you, you’re missing out on happiness that you could’ve had all along.

Do not try to please or impress anyone but yourself.

The need to impress, please, and compare ourselves to other people all the time is one of the most common causes of self-loathing. As long as you’re trying to please other people and live up to their expectations, you will not be pleasing yourself.

What I’ve learned is that happiness does not come from pleasing other people. Happiness comes from feeling content with your own life and goals.

Embrace your unique qualities and talents.

Everyone is different. Figure out what you’re good at and what sets you apart from everyone else. Your mission is to create a reason for being here.

Believe in your path.

When you start to figure out what you want in life, there will be obstacles. Do not let anyone or anything discourage you from continuing on. Believe in yourself and believe in your decisions.

Stay positive and keep moving forward.

Take your time.

Life does not come with a rulebook or deadlines for accomplishing certain things. I used to always think that I needed to be at the same level as everyone else my age. Life is not a race or a contest.

Have faith in the fact that you are exactly where you need to be at this very moment in time and as long as you’re content, don’t let anyone convince you that you’re not where you need to be. You be the judge of what you want to change in your life and then do it for you .

Surround yourself with positivity.

Try to limit the amount of time you spend with people who nay-say, judge, or ridicule. Choose to completely surround yourself with positive, inspiring influences. You will feel much happier and better about yourself if you do.

Make a list of sayings or quotes that make you feel encouraged or inspired and keep it where you can see it each day. Try putting the list under your pillow or on your refrigerator door.

The most important thing to remember is that you are worth it, you can go another day, and you can be happy. Life will not throw you anything you cannot handle or overcome.

Once you start to accept and love yourself and your desired path, the smoke will clear and you will breathe easy again. Be kind to yourself and life will be a whole lot brighter.

Photo by QuinnDombrowsky

About Madison Sonnier

Madison is a writer of feelings and lover of animals, music, nature and creativity. You can follow her blog at journeyofasoulsearcher.blogspot.com/ and buy her first eBook through Amazon . She loves making new friends, so be sure to say hi if you like what you see!

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My Values in Life Personal Essay

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Introduction

My values in life.

Personal values are qualities that one considers to be worthwhile and, as such, act as the driving force in their life. They take precedence over other qualities and therefore dictate the manner in which an individual may behave in particular instances. When it comes to my values in life, I have a few that I hold dear.

These values are a result of my upbringing, development, my principles, as well as my socialization and the culture around me. In this “my values in life” essay, I shall identify the core beliefs that I hold and how they influence my everyday choices, actions, and plans that I make.

One of the educational values that are fundamental to me is achievement. This is a result of my belief that what defines me most as a person is my determination to succeed and my desire to make a positive contribution to society through my career. Achievement is, therefore, one of the values that are most important to me since, in today’s world, achievement and success are mostly tied together with educational success. As a result of this, I hold my educational exploits in high esteem since education is one of the avenues where one’s determination leads to quantifiable success.

I greatly value close relationships with my friends and constantly seek to cement the same. This is because good friends can assist one in achieving his/her goals in life and can sometimes even be closer than family. For this reason, I invest a lot of time and effort in my close friends. I make it a priority to be a part of the significant moments in my friends’ lives, such as their birthdays, wedding days, and even baby christening ceremonies. In addition to this, I always ensure that I inquire as to their well beings periodically.

Growth and personal development for me is a very fundamental value, and its importance in my life cannot be understated. It is my belief that my life is not worth much if I do not strive to constantly improve on my achievements as well as in becoming a better person. This value of personal growth and development greatly impacts my daily living, especially when establishing new relations. It is generally my rule that if a new relationship does not add any value to my life, then I should not waste my time exploring it.

One of the constant realities in human life is that we will always be surrounded by needy people. As such, on a social level, I always strive to give my services to the less fortunate. In my opinion, a life well lived is one that is lived in such a way that it makes a difference to someone else’s life. This is the philosophy with which I have led my life up to this point, and at all times, I try to make a difference in the lives of the people that surround me. Helping other people is, therefore, a value that I value not only in myself but also in other people.

While modern-day living has somewhat led to a degradation of the value of family from what it used to be in gone years, I still hold the value of family to be very important in my life. To me, one’s family members are the ones who will stand by you no matter the situation and encourage you through life’s troubles.

While I reckon that family may not always be supportive or as ideal as I envision it, in my experience, my family is closely knit and always stands up for me. I, therefore, always have my family in mind when making my decisions and consider how my actions will affect them. In addition, I try to seek guidance from members of the family who are more experienced than I am before making monumental decisions in my life.

It has been argued that honest men and women are a dying breed. This statement holds true in our capitalistic society, where profits and personal gains are the primary objectives. The means by which one achieves success is often overlooked, and as such, the ends justify the means.

Even in the midst of such an environment, I still hold honesty as one of my core values. This is mostly a result of my upbringing, whereby honesty was applauded and dishonesty shunned. Also, I have come to realize that when one achieves success through honesty, the level of satisfaction that comes with it is truly unrivaled by any other feeling.

Owing to my upbringing, I have a huge regard for religion. As such, one of my spiritual values is engaging myself in some religious organizations. While it is true that most of my religious values are a result of my upbringing, I have, over time, come to embrace them as my own and therefore make it my personal duty to be actively involved in my religious organization.

To me, this brings about a sense of balance and helps me be more reflective and appreciative in my life. My religious values impact my decision-making since I try not to make choices that are contrary to my religious beliefs.

In this paper, I have identified some of the values that I hold dear to me. I have also identified how these values impact the choices that I make as well as the actions that I take. From this deep exploration of my values, I have come to the realization that my values greatly dictate how I treat the people around me as well as how I prioritize matters. I believe that as a result of my values, I strive harder to achieve the things that I want in life, and as such, I am a better person as a result of them.

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Maintaining a Balance of Upbringing
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Anne Bradstreet’s Poem “To My Dear and Loving Husband”
Most Influential People - My Uncle Jack
The Ethical Dilemma - How to Make the Right Decision
Concepts of Lessons from My Life as a Bully
This Capstone Class: Practice of Ethical and Social Responsibility
Why Gay Marriage Should Not Be Legal
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You are here: Home » Blog » Personal Growth

6 Simple Ways to Value Yourself More (and Build Self-Esteem)

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What does it mean to value yourself?

Why is it so important to value yourself, 1. stop comparing yourself to others, 2. set boundaries, 3. challenge your negative self-talk, 4. seek therapy, 5. cultivate gratitude, 6. embrace self-compassion, wrapping up.

Self-value and self-worth are two concepts that are often used interchangeably.

Self-worth is defined as “the sense of one’s own value or worth as a person”.

Self-value goes beyond regarding yourself as worthy or important. As Stonsy (2014) states, “self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value than how you feel about yourself compared to others”.

To have self-value means you not only recognize yourself as inherently worthy but are also willing to invest your time and energy into nurturing and sustaining yourself.

Valuing yourself by putting your needs and desires first is not selfish; it is an integral step to strengthening both your belief in yourself, as well as improving important relationships in your life. Having strong self-value plays an essential role in how you see and treat yourself every single day.

The concept of ‘valuing yourself’ means that you believe you are worthy of love, respect, success, happiness, and all things good. It means you believe in your capabilities and recognize the innate strengths and resilience within you. If you value yourself, it makes it easier to take actionable steps towards growth and achieving your goals.

Valuing yourself does not mean you devalue others. In fact, having a strong sense of self-value means that you also value others, and extend your self-nurture and self-care to the relationships and communities present in your life.

💡 By the way : Do you find it hard to be happy and in control of your life? It may not be your fault. To help you feel better, we’ve condensed the information of 100’s of articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet to help you be more in control. 👇

Don’t Miss Out On Happiness

Find happiness with this 10-step mental health cheat sheet.

Believing in your value is a crucial element of living a life where you feel good about yourself with no influence from another person or external source.

Valuing yourself first allows you to understand and believe you are worthy of love, affection, and good things in life. When you believe these things, it becomes easier to appreciate validation and recognition from the outside world when it comes.

If you do not value yourself, no amount of love, appreciation or recognition from external sources will satisfy you. Rather, devaluing yourself will lead you to believe that you are not deserving of such accolades.

Additionally, it can also lead you to experience more negative self-talk and experience more self-esteem and self-image issues.

A study conducted at the University of Michigan found that college students who based their self-worth on external sources, such as appearance, approval from others, and academic stress, reported higher stress, anger, academic issues, and relationship conflicts and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use, as well as symptoms of eating disorders.

Additionally, the same study found that students who based their self-worth on internal sources, such as being a virtuous person or adhering to moral standards, were found to do better academically, and were less likely to use drugs or alcohol, or develop eating disorders.

Another study found that those with high self-esteem suffer less emotional distress when encountering negative feedback from others. The research clearly illustrates the importance of building a strong sense of internal self-value, rather than basing your self-worth and value on outside sources.

Ways to value yourself more

Building up your sense of self-value is no small feat, but thankfully there are things you can do to help.

We all do it; it is natural to compare yourself to others and think that you are not doing enough or are lacking in some aspect of life.

Comparing yourself to others can have detrimental impacts on your sense of self-value and overall mental health.

It does not matter what other people are doing, what they think of you, or what they have accomplished. Your personal sense of self-value is far more important to nurture and maintain.

Although it is easier said than done, when you stop comparing yourself to others you can begin to focus on your own unique path, your goals, and what you personally value in life.

If you need pointers on this aspect of your life, here’s our article on how to stop comparing yourself to others .

Your self-value and the boundaries you set for yourself go hand in hand.

Setting personal boundaries for yourself means that you get to define how you would like to be treated by others. They allow you to protect yourself from being taken advantage of or mistreated.

Having a strong sense of self-value combined with secure boundaries shows that you respect yourself and that you expect the same respect from others.

Sometimes it can feel uncomfortable to set a boundary, as we feel like it can be mean or selfish (it is not!). However, you are doing yourself a disservice if you are not establishing clear and respectful boundaries in your life, as it can often lead to a pattern of neglecting yourself in order to appease others or tolerating disrespectful or harmful behavior.

The more you are able to practice boundary setting in your life, the more people will treat you with the respect and kindness that you deserve; and those who are unable to abide by those boundaries may not be conducive to the healthy relationships you need and want in your life.

Here’s how to set boundaries in your life with others in 5 simple steps .

Our internal voice plays a significant role in how we see ourselves, others, and the world. Everyone experiences negative self-talk from time to time; it is natural!

What’s important is being able to recognize and challenge your critical self-talk. If you continue to let your inner critic thrive with no challenge or intervention, you will begin to believe these thoughts and treat them as a fact. To build and sustain a strong sense of self-value it is important to be able to first identify when negative self-talk is occurring.

Some common forms of negative self-talk include:

Personalizing: personalization means that you believe that you are to blame for something even if you had little or nothing to do with the outcome, or it is beyond your control. Some examples of personalization include thoughts like “everyone is mad at me” or “it’s all my fault”.
Catastrophizing: this happens when you automatically assume the worst-case scenario is going to happen. For example, “I am not in the mood for hanging out with my friends, but if I don’t go to the party, they will not like me anymore and I will be lonely forever”.
Filtering: filtering means that you amplify the negative parts of a situation and ignore the positive. For example, you just finished playing a soccer game and your coach compliments your performance multiple times. He also adds one piece of constructive criticism. Instead of accepting and appreciating positive feedback, you can only focus on constructive criticism.
Polarizing: when you are experiencing polarizing self-talk, it means you only see things as good or bad. An example of polarizing thoughts is thinking that you have to be perfect or else you are a failure.

These types of negative self-talk can be difficult, but there are things you can do to conquer them. Some common questions you can ask to challenge your negative thoughts include :

Is there any evidence to support this thought?
Is this thought factual? Would it be accepted as a fact by other people?
Am I jumping to conclusions?

Exploring therapy as an option to strengthen your sense of self-value can be extremely beneficial.

Studies show that low self-worth, self-esteem, and self-value can be effectively addressed through therapy.

For example, a case study researching the effectiveness of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) for an individual experiencing low self-esteem, depression, and anxiety showed that after completing a course of therapy, they no longer met the diagnostic criteria for any mental health disorder and showed clinically significant improvement in their symptoms.

A therapist can help you to understand the underlying reasons for issues you may be experiencing, including struggling with your self-value and worth.

A therapist can offer a new perspective and assist you in developing the skills to challenge negative self-talk, address past trauma that may be a contributing factor to low self-value, and develop healthy coping strategies.

If you need more convincing, here’s our article on the ways therapy can help you live a happier life .

Gratitude is a powerful tool in enhancing self-value. Start by acknowledging the positive aspects of your life and your personal achievements, no matter how small. This practice shifts focus from what you lack to what you have and are capable of, fostering a deeper appreciation for yourself.

Create a daily routine of listing three things you are grateful for about yourself. This could be related to your character, achievements, or how you’ve overcome a challenge. Regularly recognizing your own worth in this way reinforces self-value and builds a positive self-image.

If you want more tips to cultivate gratitude, here’s one of our articles on how to be more grateful .

Self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer a good friend. It’s about recognizing that imperfection is part of the human experience and not being overly critical of yourself.

Practice self-compassion by speaking to yourself in a gentle, reassuring voice, especially in times of failure or difficulty. Replace self-criticism with self-encouraging words.

Additionally, engage in activities that promote well-being, like meditation or spending time in nature. This approach nurtures a compassionate relationship with yourself, enhancing self-value and emotional resilience.

💡 By the way : If you want to start feeling better and more productive, I’ve condensed the information of 100’s of our articles into a 10-step mental health cheat sheet here. 👇

This Cheat Sheet Will Help You Be Happier and More Productive

Thrive under stress and crush your goals with these 10 unique tips for your mental health.

Having a strong sense of self-value is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Although it can be difficult to value yourself at times, there are positive steps you can take to build up your sense of self-value. By implementing some of the strategies discussed in this article, you can take steps toward positive change, and recognize that you are deserving of respect, love, happiness, and success.

What do you think? Do you find it hard to value yourself? Or do you want to share your own tip on what helped you find your value? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below!

Writer, athlete, social worker, and professional thrift shopper. Born in Canada, but currently living my dream playing professional soccer in Greece. Passionate about mental health advocacy, sewing, singing, and playing guitar.

9 thoughts on “6 Simple Ways to Value Yourself More (and Build Self-Esteem)”

Thank you Jessie Faber, this has really been helpful

Thank you for this article. I hope to impart this wisdom to my children (ages 17-2) and remind them and myself often that they have value and are worthy of love. Thank you for sharing!

Thanks, Leslie, for sharing these words of positivity!

Thank you so much. Valuing myself has always been a challenge. Your article was clear, concise and so helpful! So grateful!

Thank you, Lisa. I’m glad you liked our article!

I find that when I do not have an agenda for the next day I am not motivate to do any thing. But on days that I have a plan or have to go to work I feel better. So making a plan for the next day seems to be a good way to value my self as well as enhance my positive mood for the day.

That’s a great tip! Thanks for sharing, Paula!

I believe I will have a great change in my life about self

That is wonderful me too

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How to cultivate a sense of unconditional self-worth

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This post is part of TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series, each of which contains a piece of helpful advice from people in the TED community; browse through all the posts here .

I have struggled with feelings of unworthiness for as long as I can remember.

From the outside, my life looked pretty perfect when I was growing up. My parents had a happy marriage, they were supportive and they earned enough for us to be more than comfortable. I was mostly happy, but I also had a deep sense that something was wrong with me.

My most painful moments were at parties. When I went to Black parties, my friends made fun of me because I was rhythmically challenged and I couldn’t get my awkward middle-school body to mimic the latest dance moves.

Then, as the only Black girl at parties associated with my predominantly white school, I was never chosen to dance. I was never the object of anyone’s attention. I felt like I didn’t belong.

So, at around the age of 12, I decided that the way to cure these feelings of unworthiness was perfection. Simple, right? If I was just perfect, then I would fit in. I would be chosen. I would really be happy.

I threw myself into formal dance classes, worked hard in school and tried to be a supportive and selfless friend. My self-esteem was high when I got good grades and felt included — but it crashed when I didn’t do well academically or was left out.

I held on to the hope that if I could just find someone to love me, then I would finally feel worthy.

In college, busyness became my key strategy for trying to feel worthy. I juggled classes and tutoring with the Black Student Union, student government, gospel choir, step team … I barely gave myself time to breathe, to think, to be.

After college, my attention turned to trying to find a relationship to feel the void. The anxiety and ups and downs I experienced in this quest were exhausting. I remember going out to bars and clubs, and just like in junior high, I was rarely the one chosen to dance. I began to question my attractiveness with my brown skin and kinky hair and whether I’d ever be accepted by a potential partner. I held on to the hope that if I could just find someone to love me, then I would finally feel worthy.

I’ll let you in on a secret: None of it worked!

Not the perfectionism, the busyness, the relationships — well, maybe some of it did for a moment. Right after starting a new relationship or getting a good grade, I felt worthy. But soon enough, my feelings of self-worth slipped away and I was onto pursuing the next thing. As soon as I reached the bar I had set for my worth, it was raised yet again.

Have you ever experienced that?

After several years of therapy, spiritual growth and a PhD in clinical psychology, I’ve finally begun to cultivate an unconditional self-worth and shed the belief that “I’m not good enough”. I’m embracing myself — quirks and all — and this new path is liberating, enlivening and life-giving.

Let me share what I’ve learned with you. But before I do, you might be wondering if this is just more advice about self-esteem.

Unconditional self-worth is the sense that you deserve to be alive, to be loved and cared for, to take up space.

I just want to clarify: Self-worth is not the same as self-esteem.

Our self-esteem is derived from our abilities, accomplishments, social positions and things we believe and we can achieve. We can bolster our self-esteem by improving our skills or performance, and our self-esteem goes up and down depending on how we’re doing in various aspects of our lives.

In contrast, unconditional self-worth is distinct from our abilities and accomplishments. It’s not about comparing ourselves to others; it’s not something that we can have more or less of. Unconditional self-worth is the sense that you deserve to be alive, to be loved and cared for. To take up space.

I have sat with hundreds of students at one of the top universities in the country and when we explore their concerns and dig to the root, we often find that they’re struggling with a deep sense of unworthiness. I believe there are many factors that cause us to feel this way.

Ads tell us that we need to buy things to be loved, accepted or to succeed. Our educational system teaches us that our worthiness as students is based on our grades or test scores. Our parents may have implied they’d love us more if we made the honor roll or the varsity team. Those of us who’ve experienced abuse, sexual assault and trauma may question our personhood and very right to exist. And, as social media pervades our lives, we have also begun to feel that our worthiness is based on the number of followers we have and likes we get.

Whatever the cause, for many of us our self-worth is tied to our accomplishments and possessions. As soon as we fail or lose approval, we experience low self-worth.

Unconditional self-worth is the antidote to low self-worth. It is a way out of self-criticism, shame and unhealthy behavior. It is a way out of depression, anxiety and substance abuse. It is time for us to base our worth on the fact that we are human to cultivate a worth that persists even when life does not go as we hoped.

So what keeps so many of us from cultivating unconditional self-worth?

Some people might fear that if they get too satisfied with themselves, they won’t be motivated to grow and change. Others could feel that accepting themselves as worthy would be arrogant. And some may simply believe that feeling worthy is just not possible.

I often wonder:

What the world would look like if we all cultivated unconditional self-worth?
What would you find the courage to do if you knew you were worthy?
What would you dare to dream if your self-worth wasn’t at stake?
What would you stop doing if you knew you were already worthy?

I believe people would resolve conflicts without violence and that more people would dare to do amazing things. I believe that if our self-worth wasn’t on the line, the world would look a lot better and more peaceful for all of us.

So how do we make this vision real?

See if you can let go of the thoughts you have about how the way you think, feel or look should be different. Instead, focus on the things you like about yourself.

Cultivating unconditional self-worth is an ongoing practice. Here are four ways you can begin to feel more worthy starting right here, right now:

1. Forgive yourself

Many of us struggle to feel worthy, because we are angry with ourselves about past mistakes. Forgiveness involves acknowledging and accepting what has happened. Acceptance releases us from blaming ourselves and others and allows us to move forward.

To forgive yourself, reflect on the circumstances that led to past mistakes, acknowledge the pain you experienced and identify what you learned from the situation. Then say to yourself “I forgive you” — in an honest and kind way.

2. Practice self-acceptance

I think many of us struggle with low self-worth because we think there’s something wrong with us and we refuse to accept ourselves the way we are. We receive so many messages that we are not OK the way we are. We’re told that we need to change our bodies, our clothes, our jobs or even our personalities to be acceptable.

See if you can let go of the thoughts you have about how the way you think, feel or look should be different. Instead, focus on the things you like about yourself. Over time, begin to embrace your quirks — your awkward laugh, your crooked smile, your unusual way of thinking about things. Through this acceptance, you’re acknowledging that you are worthy just the way you are.

Knowing that we are not alone in our struggles and pain reminds us that challenges don’t make us unworthy.

3. Be there for yourself

When life gets rough, many of us abandon ourselves during times of challenge. We engage in harsh self-criticism — which only leaves us feeling worse. What we need most when we are going through a difficult time is for someone to say “I see you. I see how badly you’re hurting. I’m here.”

We can do this for ourselves.

The next time you experience emotional pain, acknowledge how you were feeling and offer yourself some comfort. Place your hand on your chest, give yourself a hug or say something kind and soothing to yourself.

4. Connect to supportive people

Low self-worth can leave us feeling isolated and alone. When we think there’s something wrong with us, we tend to pull away from our relationships, and this isolation only exacerbates our feelings of unworthiness. Knowing that we are not alone in our struggles and pain reminds us that challenges don’t make us unworthy. Connecting to people who are supportive helps us to get in touch with our humanity and our sense of worth.

One last thing: The journey to unconditional self-worth is not always easy. The path is not straight or smooth, and you’ll face setbacks along the way — I certainly have.

It takes courage to free yourself from the conditions you’ve placed on your worth. The process of forgiveness can be messy, it can be scary to accept ourselves as we are, being there for ourselves can put us face to face with emotional pain, and connecting to others can make us feel vulnerable.

But I’m here to tell you that this journey is also beautiful and worth taking. On it, you’ll find strength, become grounded in your humanity and know that you are worthy. So I challenge you to embrace yourselves and begin living from a place of worthiness to find your own metaphorical dance floor and move freely.

Yes, I said dance floor.

I felt free, I felt exuberant, I felt full of life, I felt worthy.

On my journey, I found myself returning to the dance floor because that’s where my own struggles with unworthiness began.

It turns out, I’ve learned a few new moves since junior high.

A few summers ago, I went to a jazz festival by myself. As I sat there watching people dancing to the live music, I longed to get up and join them. But all of my old insecurities about my dance moves and not being chosen showed up.

Luckily, an elderly man invited me to dance, and after a song or two with him, I began dancing on my own. And as the notes of Latin jazz filled the air and I moved my body to the rhythm, I felt free, I felt exuberant, I felt full of life, I felt worthy.

This talk was adapted from a TEDxDePaulUniversity Talk; to learn more about Dr. Adia Gooden and her work, visit her website .

About the author

Adia Gooden PhD is a licensed clinical psychologist and a dynamic speaker and trainer. She is passionate about helping others cultivate unconditional self-worth, and she received her bachelor’s degree from Stanford University and earned her PhD in Clinical Community Psychology from DePaul University.

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26 No Nonsense Ways To Truly Value Yourself

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woman splashing in sea - illustrating valuing yourself

In our bid to be everything to everyone, we often neglect our own needs and desires. We make sacrifices for our families, careers, religious beliefs, and everything in between, and we don’t always get much in return.

Taking the time to refuel or rejuvenate is not an option and is sometimes seen as being selfish or self-absorbed, or not being a team player.

It’s almost as if we are carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders, with no hope in sight of putting it down.

As a result, our mental and physical health takes a beating. Jumping from situation to situation, we’re overworked to the point where we neglect our bodies. And with no time to care for our mental well-being, our self-worth drops and we stop seeing our innate value.

Life becomes an endless struggle where your contributions feel insignificant.

The truth is, waiting for others to appreciate you is a waste of time. If they were going to, they would have already done so.

So, rather than waiting on other people, why don’t you recognize and celebrate your inherent value?

Speak to an accredited and experienced therapist to help you value yourself more if you struggle to see your worth. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient.

Why is recognizing your value so important?

Strip away everything; roles, responsibilities, experiences, weaknesses. Do you recognize your innate value?

Are you uncomfortable with putting yourself first? Does the idea of loving yourself sound selfish and un- (Christian, cultured, kind, insert whatever adjective fits)?

Perhaps you struggle with an inner critic? You know, the voice inside that is always quick to point out your mistakes or weaknesses and rationalize or downplay your strengths.

Maybe it is an outer critic, in the form of a loved one or a religious figure or societal pressure, always pushing you to do and sacrifice more.

In this day and age when our mental health is being assaulted at every turn, being able to recognize your value is a skill that can no longer be disregarded.

Recognizing your value enables you to get your needs met. It helps you build and maintain healthy, stress and drama-free relationships that spur you toward your goals. It makes you more decisive because you trust your instincts.

Mental health conditions such as depression and anxiety can be fueled by a low sense of self-worth. Developing your ability to see your value can reduce your chance of sinking into depression and despair.

When you work to value yourself more, it positively impacts your physical health (you’ll take better care of yourself) and your mental health (you’ll treat yourself with compassion).

So there is no reason not to start working on it today.

26 Ways To Recognize And Celebrate Your Inner Value

Celebrating yourself and seeing your value can sometimes go against the lessons learned throughout life. It certainly goes against many religious beliefs where low self-worth is often mistakenly characterized as humility.

So, how can you truly value yourself?

1. Trust yourself and the decisions you make.

Stop doubting yourself and your judgment. Trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to make a mistake.

You can only do so much research. After a while, you’re going to have to decide. Trust that you’ve dotted your i’s, crossed your t’s, and made the best possible decision with all the information at your disposal.

And after making a decision, stop second-guessing yourself and worrying about how things could have worked out better.

Once you start trusting your instincts, you’ll have more confidence and be better able to seize opportunities when they come. You’ll be less likely to get analysis paralysis – an endless cycle of being stuck and not moving because of ongoing research.

2. Stop settling.

Don’t settle for less than what you deserve, whether in your relationships, at work, or in pursuit of your dreams. You are not doing anyone any favors by taking less or being less than what you’re meant to be.

When you settle for less, it’s usually the result of fear. Whether it’s fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of success; whatever it is, you’re afraid of something.

Fear has you settling for a job you hate because you think you won’t find a better one. You are stuck in a relationship, settling for being unfulfilled because you’re afraid to enter the dating pool again. Your dreams lay abandoned because you fear you will fail if you chase them.

Spend some time in introspection and identify where you are settling for less. Ask yourself, what would you want instead? Don’t be afraid to dream big.

Now, imagine yourself having it, just like you dream of. How would you feel? How would that change your life?

Research people who have accomplished what you’re dreaming of, and take inspiration from them. After all, if they can do it, why can’t you? Use their experience to develop a plan to move toward your dream.

If your dream still seems too big, keep researching until it no longer seems impossible.

Take the first step.

Don’t settle.

3. Identify those people who try to tear you down.

Not everyone who claims to be your friend is actually your friend. The same goes for family.

Identify people in your life that just love to tear you down.

You’ll know who they are because even though they dress it up as constructive criticism, it lacks the care required to make it constructive. It’s biting, sometimes cruel, and always makes you feel less than.

Identify anyone quick to rain on your parade and downplay you, your dreams, or your accomplishments. Friends and family members are supposed to build you up so you can face whatever challenges come your way. They’re supposed to celebrate your accomplishments, so you feel encouraged to grow and do better.

Identify those who don’t. Consider cutting ties with them.

4. Be honest with yourself.

It’s one thing to lie to others, but don’t lie to yourself. Be honest with yourself . Don’t be dishonest about who you are and what you can do.

You’re a work in progress, you’re not finished yet. You’re still growing and becoming, regardless of your age. It’s okay. Everyone is going through the same process of evolution.

Don’t be ashamed of the areas where you need improvement. Be honest about them and work on your bad habits. Don’t hide from the truth; face it.

5. Stop comparing yourself to others.

You are an original. There is no one else quite like you. You have your unique talents and gifts. No one has gone through what you have gone through.

Yes, you have failed, but you’ve also succeeded too.

Own that and stop comparing yourself to others. You are making the absolute best out of the hand life dealt you.

As Marilyn Monroe once said, “Trying to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”

Honor the person you are. Give that person a chance to be.

6. Silence your inner critic.

Your inner critic is holding you back. It is stopping you from seeing your true value. Because you focus on the negative, you cannot see the positive impact you have on those around you or appreciate your contribution to humanity, no matter how small it is.

Before you can take a leap of faith, your inner critic is there to showcase all the reasons why you would fail at the attempt.

Identify your negative thoughts. This might be hard because you’ve heard them for so long that they’ve become your truth. You might even feel you’re lying when saying otherwise.

Challenge these beliefs. Find evidence that proves your inner critic wrong.

Stop replaying your mistakes over and over in your mind.

Replay your successes. Focus on our strengths.

7. Practice self-compassion.

Be kind to yourself . Give yourself the same compassion you’d give to a friend or a beloved pet. Talk to yourself the way you talk to a loved one.

In the same way you are patient with a small child when he is taking his first steps, be patient with yourself.

Don’t ignore your pain or destroy your confidence with criticism. Be tolerant of your shortcomings.

Show yourself the same compassion you freely show to others.

Accept that life isn’t perfect and neither are we. Be gentle with yourself when you cannot live up to your impossibly high standards.

8. Take part in activities you feel are important.

Imagine how much free time you’d have if you limited yourself to doing only those activities you feel are important and necessary.

Think about how much more goal-oriented you’d be or purpose-filled you’d feel if you focused on doing what was important.

Spending hours on social media or an entire afternoon in front of the television might be fun, but is it important?

Identify what is important to you and take part in activities that are related to that.

9. Help others.

The term “helper’s high” refers to the feeling you get after helping others in need.

Comparable to the runner’s high, it’s a feeling of elation, exhilaration, and increased energy, followed by a period of calm and serenity.

The difference between the two is that studies have shown the helper’s high lasts much longer than runner’s high; even up to several weeks.

The high you get from helping others has even been shown to increase the body’s immune levels and lower stress.

You help yourself by helping others; it’s the ultimate win-win situation.

10. See a therapist.

Although seeing a therapist is more acceptable now than it has been in the past, it’s not used as often as it should be.

If you’re feeling confused, lost, sad, stressed, or depressed, reach out to a therapist.

We often underestimate the amount of trauma we’ve experienced or are currently experiencing now. Since we have lived with abuse or in toxic situations for so long, we’ve adapted to it. It has become normal.

Let me let you in on a little secret… we were not created to carry such burdens. Talk to a licensed therapist and start unpacking your trauma.

BetterHelp.com is a website where you can connect with a therapist via phone, video, or instant message.

While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. And if it is affecting your mental well-being, relationships, or life in general, it is a significant thing that needs to be resolved.

Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. If it’s at all possible in your circumstances, therapy is 100% the best way forward.

Here’s that link again if you’d like to learn more about the service BetterHelp.com provide and the process of getting started.

Asking for help is a sign of courage and intelligence.

11. Identify troubling conditions and situations.

Have you ever watched a horror movie where the hero/heroine is walking into a dangerous situation but is completely unaware of it?

They’re about to step into a house where a deranged murderer is waiting to chop them down with an axe. You tense up, knowing they’re walking into an obvious trap, wondering why they are oblivious to the clues of impending danger when all the signs are right there for them to see.

You are the hero/heroine in the movie of your life. Recognize the danger that you’re in or about to walk into. And get yourself out of that troubling condition or situation before you come to harm.

12. Recognize what you’re good at.

Everyone is good at something. No one on the face of this earth is bad at everything. Not even you.

Recognize what you’re good at.

What things come easily to you? Don’t write them off because you think they’re easy. For some people, that skill might be extremely difficult.

For example, you might be great at encouraging people. You always have a motivational word for everyone who comes your way. In your opinion, it’s just words or you’re just telling them the truth. But it’s a truth they can’t see and you have a gift for helping them to see it.

Find your unique talents , and celebrate it.

13. Build positive relationships.

Human beings are social creatures, and our relationships heavily impact our emotional and mental well-being. We benefit when our lives are filled with people who support, encourage, and help us, and for whom we do the same.

With positive relationships, we have less drama, a greater sense of purpose, and healthier behaviors because our support system is ideal for such peace of mind and growth.

Build relationships that motivate and encourage you. Stop wasting your energy repairing relationships with people who tear you down. Let them go.

14. Learn to say “no.”

For many people, saying the word “No” is an awkward and challenging feat. One that feels wrong. By saying no, you feel you’re letting the other party down or causing them to be inconvenienced.

You’ve said “Yes” so many times it’s almost like you’ve forgotten the word “No” even exists in the English dictionary.

Consider this: by saying “Yes” to everyone else, you’re saying “No” to yourself. “No” to your mental health, “no” to your well-being, and “no” to your boundaries.

Saying “No” to others is one of the easiest forms of self-care you can engage in. That simple two-letter word allows you to do what really matters to you. It helps you take control of your time and energy, and helps you set and enforce boundaries.

15. Set boundaries.

Have you ever left an interaction with someone feeling drained or anxious or in a foul mood? Chances are that person crossed a few boundaries, and you allowed them to do so.

Protect your energy. Set clear boundaries for others regarding your time and energy, including close family members.

Make refueling a priority. Remember, you can only give out of what you have in store. If you have nothing in storage, you have nothing to give.

No one deserves to be in your space 24/7/365.

Setting healthy boundaries is good for your mental and emotional health. It also helps you avoid burnout.

16. Maintain your personal integrity.

Personal integrity refers to having your own set of morals and values. Maintaining your personal integrity is essentially being true to yourself in whatever situation you find yourself in. It’s about living by your moral code.

Have you ever disappointed yourself or done something that you never would have expected you’d do? You didn’t necessarily do anything bad, in the conventional sense. But you were uncomfortable with your actions.

The reason you were uncomfortable is that you didn’t live up to your moral standards.

Listen to your inner moral compass. Don’t let yourself be pressured to act in ways that conflict with your sense of right and wrong.

17. Create a physical space that nurtures your well-being.

Is your house or apartment cluttered and disorganized? Are you constantly stepping over a pile of clothes, dropped and forgotten on the floor? Is your sink full of dishes that you just haven’t gotten around to washing yet?

Have you noticed the effect of your cluttered and disorganized environment on your mental health?

Create time and a physical space that nurtures your mental well-being.

Decluttering your entire house is a huge undertaking for many of us. So how about you just tackle one corner; a corner that you keep neat and organized with your favorite items and relaxing scents? A place for you to sit and unwind.

18. Go on a date with yourself.

Take yourself out on a great date. Think about your idea of the perfect date. Then plan it, book the reservations, put on the perfect outfit for the occasion, and go. By yourself. Not with anyone else, but by your lonesome.

Don’t wait for someone to take you. Take yourself out.

Don’t wait for someone to treat you well. Treat yourself well.

19. Create an achievements folder.

Put together a folder of things you’ve accomplished in life and are proud of. Our memories are fleeting and it is easy for us to forget our achievements when we’re busy beating ourselves up.

Unfortunately, we don’t always have people in our corner who will build us up when we feel down. Even if we do, we are reluctant to reveal how often we struggle with feelings of inadequacy .

For times like these, put together a physical folder or a file on your computer of all the things that you’ve done that you’re proud of. It will serve as your reminder that you’re far better and have achieved far more than you think.

20. Feel your feelings.

Allow yourself to feel your emotions instead of always stuffing them down and pretending that everything is okay. Be okay with not being okay.

The burden to always put on a cheerful face or have a stiff upper lip is exhausting and damaging to your mental health.

Instead, learn how to skillfully feel your feelings . This involves:

a) Naming the feeling – identify the specific emotion at play, without judgment.

b) Allowing the sensations of your feelings in your body – observe and allow the physical sensations of what you are feeling to flow without trying to control or reduce it. How are your emotions affecting your body?

c) Mindfully investigating what is at the heart of your feelings – identify what is driving the emotion. Ask yourself what is at the heart of your pain or joy.

d) Bringing compassion to your experience – treat yourself gently, the way you would a close friend who was going through a tough experience.

21. Do what you love or love what you do.

You spend more time at work, with colleagues than anywhere or with anyone else. Hating what you do and who you do it with for eight hours a day, five days a week is a sure way to die a slow and painful death.

Understandably, not everyone can up and quit their jobs. If you’re stuck, then love what you do. Find something to love about it, at least for the moment. That colleague that drives you insane must have some redeeming quality. Attempt to find out what it is

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” – Steve Jobs.

It boils down to your mindset. If you cannot leave your present job, decide that you will love your soul-sucking job, no matter what.

If you’re one of the lucky few who have the freedom to search for what they love to do, do so. It is better to try and fail at doing something you love than to fail at doing something you hate. Because, believe it or not, it is possible to take the safe route and still fail.

22. Look after your health.

Have you ever asked yourself why you treat your body the way you do?

It might not be because you’re lazy or don’t have enough time or money. It might actually be a form of self-flagellation, where you’re beating yourself as a sort of punishment.

After all, why are you eating junk food or engaging in dangerous activities such as smoking that you know are slowly killing you?

If you don’t look after your health, who will?

Look after your health not only because you’ll live longer and enjoy a better quality of life, but also because it will make you feel better. When you exercise, your brain produces hormones that are associated with happiness (dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin).

People who have been diagnosed with clinical depression have been found to have lower levels of serotonin. By simply exercising, you can increase the amount of these hormones your brain produces.

23. Take care of your appearance.

Poor body image often shows up in how you take care of your appearance. Do you constantly compare your body to other people’s? Do you speak negatively about your body? Have you stopped caring about your appearance because you think “who’s going to care?”

Studies have shown a strong link between disinterest in your appearance and some psychological disorders, such as depression.

When you take care of your appearance, there is a positive impact on your mental health. It improves the way you see yourself, which naturally improves your mood.

Take care of your appearance and ensure you always look your best.

24. Teach others how to treat you .

People will treat you the way you let them treat you. That’s a harsh but painful truth.

We let people get away with taking us for granted or treating us poorly. We’re afraid of rocking the boat or hurting their feelings when we should worry about our own feelings.

Teach people how you wish to be addressed, how you wish to be respected, and how you wish to be loved.

25. Stand up for yourself.

If you saw someone treating an animal the way some people treat you, would you ignore it and move on or would you object and call the local authorities?

If you would call the authorities to save a defenseless animal from being treated the same way you let yourself be treated, then you need to stand up for yourself . It’s long overdue.

You need to save yourself from a fate not even fit for an animal.

Dig deep within yourself and find the courage needed to stand up to people and situations that are crushing you.

Say, enough is enough, even though your voice squeaks and your knees knock together.

26. Believe you are good enough.

You are good enough. Not because of your education or how much money you make or where you come from or who you know.

By reason of the fact you are a living, breathing human being, you are worthy of respect; you deserve love; you are good enough.

You don’t have to do anything more than that. Just believe that simple fact.

By simply being, you have value. Luckily, many of us do more than just exist. What we don’t do is value ourselves and the contributions we make on this planet.

We take ourselves for granted and choose to believe a false narrative that says our contribution to the world and society is insignificant. We are in an abusive relationship with ourselves, with self-criticism and self-flagellation being the order of the day.

Our past failures and trauma keep us paralyzed in fear, low self-esteem, and low self-worth.

If we saw someone treating another person the way we treat ourselves, we’d probably call the police.

Reject this negative and destructive mindset. Embrace your value as a living, thinking, functioning human being.

Still not sure how to truly value yourself and what you bring to the world? Speak to a therapist today who can help you see your true worth. Simply connect with one of the experienced therapists on BetterHelp.com .

How to Identify Yourself in an Essay: Exploring Self-Identity in Writing

by Brandon Thompson
October 18, 2023

Writing an essay about oneself can be a daunting task. How do you capture the essence of who you are in just a few words or pages? How do you define yourself in a way that is both authentic and engaging? In this blog post, we will dive into the art of self-identification in essay writing, providing you with tips, insights, and examples to help you craft a compelling narrative about your own identity.

Whether you’re facing the challenge of answering questions like “How do you define yourself?” or “What makes up your identity?” or struggling with how to discuss yourself without using the first-person pronoun, we’ll guide you through the process step by step. We will explore various techniques for writing a self-identity essay, such as using reflection, describing your social identity, and introducing yourself in a creative way.

So grab a pen and paper, or open up that blank document, as we journey together to discover how to effectively identify yourself in an essay – a reflection of who you are in this ever-evolving world of 2023.

How to Identify Yourself in an Essay: Let Your Words Shine!

When it comes to writing an essay, one of the most important aspects is identifying yourself and expressing your unique voice. After all, no one wants to read a dull and lifeless piece of writing! So, how can you make sure your essay stands out? Let’s dive in and explore some tips on how you can identify yourself effectively in your writing.

Find Your Writing Persona

Just like superheroes have alter egos, writers too have their own personas. Embrace your inner writer and let your personality shine through your words! Whether you’re witty, introspective, or even a bit sarcastic, infusing your essay with your authentic voice will make it engaging and relatable. Don’t be afraid to show some personality – after all, who said essays have to be boring?

Inject Some Humor

Who says essays can’t be entertaining? Injecting humor into your writing can captivate your readers and make your essay stand out from the crowd. Of course, don’t force it or try too hard to be funny; instead, lightheartedly sprinkle in some jokes or clever anecdotes that relate to your topic. A humorous tone can make your essay more enjoyable to read while still conveying your thoughts effectively.

Reflect Your Unique Perspectives

We all have our own perspectives and experiences that shape the way we view the world. Use your essay as an opportunity to showcase your unique point of view. Whether you’re tackling a philosophical question or exploring a personal experience, don’t be afraid to express your thoughts and feelings authentically. Remember, your perspective is what sets your essay apart.

Play with Structure

While essays typically have a formal structure, that doesn’t mean you can’t play around with it a little. Use subheadings, bullet points, or even numbered lists to organize your thoughts and make the reading experience more enjoyable. Breaking up your content into smaller, digestible sections makes it easier for your readers to follow along and keeps them engaged from start to finish.

Dare to Be Different

Everyone loves a fresh perspective, so dare to be different in your writing. Challenge conventional ideas or take a unique stance on a topic. By offering a fresh take or a creative spin, you’ll leave a lasting impression on your readers. Remember, the goal is not to conform but to stand out and be memorable.

Embrace Your Quirkiness

We all have our quirks, so don’t be afraid to let them shine in your essay. Whether it’s an unusual hobby, a unique talent, or a peculiar fascination, incorporating your quirks into your writing can make it more interesting and authentic. By embracing your individuality, you’ll create a personal connection with your readers and leave a lasting impact.

In conclusion, when it comes to identifying yourself in an essay, the key is to be genuine, entertaining, and captivating. Let your writing persona shine, inject some humor, reflect your unique perspectives, play with structure, dare to be different, and embrace your quirkiness. By following these tips, you’ll not only create an essay that stands out but also enjoy the process of writing and expressing yourself. So, grab your pen and let your words do the talking!

FAQ: How do you identify yourself in an essay?

How do you answer what defines you.

In an essay, when asked what defines you, it’s important to delve deep into your values, beliefs, experiences, and passions. Reflecting on your unique qualities and characteristics will help you provide an authentic and meaningful response. Remember, you are more than just a list of accomplishments or titles – you are the sum of your values and experiences.

How do you write a self-identity essay

Writing a self-identity essay can be both challenging and liberating. Start by introspecting and reflecting on your identity – the cultural, social, and personal influences that shape you. Then, craft a compelling narrative that showcases your journey of self-discovery. Share anecdotes, milestones, and experiences that have contributed to your growth and sense of self.

How can I define myself

Defining oneself is like peeling an onion – layer by layer, you discover who you truly are. Embrace introspection and explore your passions, values, strengths, and weaknesses. Look beyond external expectations and societal norms. Remember, it’s a lifelong process, and it often takes time and self-reflection to truly understand and define yourself.

What is an identity example

Identity is as unique as a fingerprint, and each person’s identity is formed by a combination of factors. For example, an identity can be shaped by cultural heritage, such as being a proud Latina or a devoted fan of Korean pop music. It can also be influenced by personal traits, such as being an adventurous thrill-seeker or a compassionate and empathetic friend. Ultimately, identity is the intricate tapestry that makes each person who they are.

What makes up a person’s identity essay

A person’s identity essay encompasses various aspects that contribute to their sense of self. These include cultural background , beliefs, values, interests, experiences, and relationships. It is the fusion of these elements that shapes a person’s unique identity and makes them the individual they are.

How do you write an identity statement

Crafting an identity statement is like capturing the essence of who you are in a concise and powerful sentence. Start by reflecting on the core values, passions, and qualities that define you. Then, articulate these elements into a clear and compelling statement that encapsulates your identity. Be authentic, genuine, and unafraid to showcase what makes you extraordinary.

How do you make a new identity for yourself

Making a new identity for yourself can be both exciting and challenging. Start by identifying the changes you want to make, whether it’s adopting new habits, exploring new interests, or reassessing your values. Embrace personal growth, surround yourself with supportive individuals, and be open to new experiences. Remember, creating a new identity is a journey, and it takes time, effort, and self-reflection.

How do you write a few lines about yourself

When writing a few lines about yourself, it’s important to strike a balance between showcasing your unique qualities and maintaining brevity. Highlight your key accomplishments, interests, and passions. Inject a touch of humor, if appropriate, to engage your readers. Remember, the goal is to leave a lasting impression and pique curiosity about the person behind those few lines.

How do you define yourself reflection

Defining yourself through reflection involves introspection and analyzing your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Take the time to understand your values, strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. Explore how your past experiences have shaped you and consider how you want to grow in the future. Through reflection, you can gain a deeper understanding of yourself and thereby define your identity.

How would you describe your social identity

Describing social identity involves considering how you relate to different social groups and communities. It encompasses aspects such as race, ethnicity, gender, religion, and socioeconomic background. When describing your social identity, you may discuss the intersectionality of these various facets and how they influence your perspective, experiences, and interactions within society.

What makes up your identity

Your identity is an intricate tapestry woven from various threads that make you unique. It comprises elements such as your cultural background, personal values, experiences, relationships, and aspirations. It is the combination of these factors that gives you a distinct identity, shaping your beliefs, actions, and overall sense of self.

How do you talk about yourself in an essay without using “I”

Crafting an essay about yourself without relying heavily on the pronoun “I” requires creativity and alternative perspectives. Instead of constantly using “I,” focus on sharing specific experiences, achievements, or insights. Use descriptive language to engage your readers and help them visualize your narrative. By varying sentence structures and utilizing storytelling techniques, you can effectively convey your unique story without relying solely on “I.”

How would you describe yourself in one sentence

In one sentence, I am a curious wanderer, forever seeking adventures, embracing new experiences, and finding joy in the simple moments of life.

What is meant by self-identity

Self-identity refers to the recognition, understanding, and acceptance of one’s own unique characteristics, values, and beliefs. It is a journey of self-discovery that involves introspection, reflection, and a deep connection with one’s true self. Self-identity allows individuals to define who they are and navigate their lives authentically.

How would you describe yourself in a college essay

Describing oneself in a college essay requires striking a delicate balance between showcasing personal qualities and demonstrating suitability for academic pursuits . Be authentic and genuine, highlighting your unique traits, experiences, and ambitions. Emphasize your academic achievements, extracurricular involvements, and personal growth. However, remember to let your personality shine through your writing, engaging the readers with your unique voice.

How do I identify myself example

An example of identifying oneself could be acknowledging oneself as an adventurous explorer who finds solace in nature, a compassionate listener who provides comfort to others, or an analytical thinker who thrives in problem-solving. Identifying oneself involves understanding and embracing personal traits and qualities that make each person unique.

How do you introduce yourself in a class essay

When introducing yourself in a class essay, start with a captivating anecdote or a thought-provoking question related to the topic. Provide a brief overview of your background, emphasizing experiences or interests relevant to the class. Establish credibility while showcasing enthusiasm and curiosity for the subject matter. Engage the reader from the start to set the tone for an engaging essay.

What are 5 important parts of your identity

Five important parts of one’s identity may include cultural background, personal values, aspirations, relationships, and experiences. These elements shape who we are, influence our decision-making, and provide a lens through which we view the world. Each individual’s identity is unique, comprising an intricate web of multifaceted components.

How do you introduce yourself in academic writing

In academic writing, introducing yourself should be done succinctly and professionally. Start with your full name, followed by your current academic affiliation, such as the university or institution you attend. If applicable, mention your area of study or research interests in a concise manner. Avoid unnecessary personal details and maintain a confident and polished tone throughout your introduction.

What is your identity as a student

As a student, your identity extends beyond being a mere participant in academic pursuits. It encompasses your intellectual curiosity, enthusiasm for learning, and dedication to personal growth. Your identity as a student is shaped by how you navigate challenges, collaborate with peers, and actively engage in the pursuit of knowledge. Embrace this multifaceted identity as a student, allowing it to empower and guide you on your academic journey.

How do you identify yourself meaning

Identifying yourself is about recognizing and defining your unique qualities, values, beliefs, and experiences. It involves understanding how these elements shape your perspective, actions, and life choices. By acknowledging and embracing your identity, you gain a sense of self-awareness, enabling personal growth and an authentic connection with others.

How do you introduce yourself in writing examples

Hello, fellow readers! I’m Jane, a passionate storyteller with a penchant for adventure. Whether lost in the pages of a book or exploring the great outdoors, I find solace in embracing new worlds and acquiring fresh perspectives.

Greetings, everyone! I’m John, a coffee-fueled wordsmith on a perpetual quest for knowledge. When I’m not decoding complex theories at my laptop, you can find me immersing myself in the creative realms of photography or scouring the city for the perfect cup of joe.

How do you introduce yourself in a creative essay

In a creative essay, the introduction is your chance to make a memorable first impression. Craft an opening that hooks the reader and sets the tone for your creative exploration. Utilize vivid descriptions, figurative language, or an intriguing anecdote that illuminates your unique perspective. Take the reader on a journey, introducing yourself as a protagonist in your own story, ready to embark on an adventure of self-expression.

How do you introduce yourself as a student

As a student, introducing yourself is an opportunity to showcase your enthusiasm for learning and to connect with your peers. Share your name, grade or year level, and a personal interest or hobby that reflects your individuality. Consider mentioning your academic goals and aspirations, highlighting your determination to excel. Be approachable, friendly, and open to forging new connections in the student community.

cultural background
essay writing
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individuality
interesting
self-identity essay
unique perspectives
unique qualities
unique voice

Brandon Thompson

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Self Worth: Why You Need To Value Yourself More

Self-respect is the most crucial aspect of one’s life. If you do not understand how to appreciate yourself and your worth, how do you expect others to? Life is too short to maintain toxic relationships. In order for yours to flourish, you need to work on yourself first.

“Don’t expect anyone to love or respect you if you don’t fully love yourself first.”

People accept sh*tty jobs and relationships because they do not respect themselves enough to realize they deserve better. Too many people become complacent in these aspects and stop striving for greater things.

Relationships become detrimental when the self-respect is lacking. You wind up hurting the other person and yourself. You need to love yourself enough to choose the ones that make you happy and motivate you to grow.

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anyone or anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”

This does not come easy so a conscious effort must be consistently made on a day-to-day basis. A lack of self-respect can, and most often does, result in depression and self-destructive behaviors. You need to reinforce your positive qualities and actively try to fix your negative qualities. When everything else in the world fails you, you will always have your self-respect to fall back on. How you feel about yourself affects every single aspect of your life.

If you don’t respect yourself then you won’t take care of yourself the way you should. By achieving this, you set boundaries for your life and your relationships. This will encourage people’s deference to you. You cannot allow people to treat you poorly and if they do, you need to recognize your worth and walk away. Others cannot negatively influence your opinion of yourself; this will only lead to degradation of your worth. You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

Self-respect and self-esteem play hand in hand with one another. Self-esteem gives you the confidence to succeed and without it you are simply placing limitations on yourself.

You and only you are responsible for your fate. Life is no fun if you spend it hating yourself; this stifles any progress you hope to make. Once your confidence is up, you will stop making the terrible mistake of comparing yourself to others. You will already be comfortable and happy with who you are.

When you love yourself, you take pride in who you and what you have to offer. Too many people place the needs of others before their own, but in order to respect others, you need to meet your own needs first. How can you truly learn to appreciate others if you can’t even appreciate yourself? This is fundamental to personal growth and a concept too many people do not realize.

Why Self-Worth Matters, And How To Improve Confidence

A positive self-image, including a strong belief in one's abilities, can be a crucial element of mental health, potentially helping us be kinder to ourselves, develop greater confidence, and be more receptive to love. Self-worth generally refers to our sense of self , our values, and our belief that we are worthy of care, support, and compassion. With a healthy sense of self-worth, we’re often better situated to seize opportunities, develop a high level of self-esteem, and improve our mental well-being. You can improve your self-worth by using affirmations, doing what you love, and finding the good in yourself. Working with a licensed therapist can also be helpful.

What is self-worth?

According to the American Psychological Association, self-worth can be defined as “an individual’s evaluation of himself or herself as a valuable, capable human being deserving of respect and consideration.” A healthy sense of self-worth can be valuable to our careers, relationships, and health. However, it can also be something that many people, even those who are highly successful, struggle with.

The benefits of self-worth

Having a strong sense of self-worth can help you in many facets of life. When you believe you’re deserving of good things, regardless of the circumstances, you may be more likely to ask for what you want, get things done, and nurture healthy relationships. The following may be potential benefits of valuing yourself highly.

Meet your needs

As we work toward achieving our goals, self-actualizing, or simply living a healthy life, we typically have a running list of things that we must do or acquire. There are generally two ways to have your needs met. First, you can meet them yourself. To do that efficiently, you often must value yourself enough to justify putting in the effort to go after what you need.

The other way to meet your needs may be to work with others. Even when you meet your own needs, there may almost always be someone else involved. However, it can be hard to ask for help if you don’t believe you deserve it. A high level of self-worth can act as a signal to yourself that you’re worthy of having your needs met.

Solve problems confidently

Complications are likely going to arise in life, whether at work, at home, or in your community. When you experience hardship, a healthy sense of self-worth may help you avoid feeling overwhelmed. With a positive self-image, you may be more likely to accept the challenges life presents. You may be more confident in your abilities and comfortable with the possibility of making mistakes, knowing that no matter what happens, you will still have value as a person.

Be more decisive and have confidence

Without a positive self-concept, you may doubt your knowledge or ability to judge situations and choose the proper path. You may worry about what may happen if you make the wrong choice, which can lead to indecisiveness and ineffectiveness.

A sense of self-worth is often accompanied by confidence in your abilities, which can help you choose the best course of action. You can decide whether a low-risk, medium-risk, or high-risk option may be best in a specific situation. You can feel comfortable knowing that, however it turns out, your life will still be valuable.

Maintain healthier relationships

When you feel comfortable with who you are, you may be more open and honest with your loved ones. A high level of honesty can be vital to romantic partnerships, as well as work relationships, friendships, and family relations. It can also help your loved ones to see how highly you value yourself, which may translate into healthy respect on their part as well.

Set realistic expectations

How to improve your self-worth.

If you’d like to learn how to value yourself more highly, there may be several steps you can take to improve your self-image. The following strategies can help you build your self-worth, enhance your mental well-being, and flourish.

Use affirmations for self-worth and self-respect

Positive affirmations can be beneficial tools. One way to use affirmations when you're starting with low self-worth may be to make them positive but believable to you. For example, if you want to get a job for which hundreds of people have applied, telling yourself you are going to get the job might seem overwhelming. Instead, you might use an affirmation like, "I deserve to have a good job like this, and I'll keep trying until I get one."

Do what you love and boost self-esteem

Research suggests that having a sense of purpose can improve mental well-being . Pursuing your passions, whether at work, through hobbies, or by volunteering, can help you reinforce your sense of identity and boost your self-esteem. For instance, someone who enjoys crafting may feel a greater sense of self-sufficiency after finishing a project. Think about the things in life that matter most to you and determine how you can nurture those interests.

Learn to take compliments with self-confidence

When we reject compliments, we often diminish our accomplishments and devalue ourselves. Say that someone compliments you on a portrait you painted. Instead of seeing it through their eyes, you might look at its flaws. You may focus on the eye color you didn't quite get right or the hair you drew too long. You may not accept the compliment because you may believe you don't deserve it.

What happens when you allow yourself to see the painting through the other person’s eyes may be that you suddenly become aware of the things you've done well in the portrait. You may now notice that you've made the mouth very expressive or captured the exact expression of your model.

Avoid criticizing yourself

Sometimes, we're so worried about being criticized that we criticize ourselves before anyone else has the chance. Think back to the painting example. Even without someone else's input, you can build your self-worth by looking at the good, both in how you've painted and in who you are, no matter how well you paint. Remember that there can be a significant difference between identifying areas for improvement and criticizing yourself. The first can be considered a problem-solving task. The second often serves the purpose of leading you to perceive yourself poorly.

Find the good in yourself

When you experience a negative outcome, you can rebuild your self-worth by looking for the positives in the situation. You might feel like you're a bad parent because you missed your child's dance recital. Rather than defining yourself as a parent by that one instance, try to look for more profound ways that suggest you're a good parent.

Use "I am" with care

When you use "I am" phrases, you’re often putting limits on yourself, particularly if you’re defining yourself in a negative way. Instead of labeling yourself, try labeling the behavior or thought that's concerning you. Rather than saying, "I am bad at solving problems,” you might say, "That idea wasn't quite right.”

Benefits of online therapy for your confidence and self worth

Online therapy can be a convenient way of pursuing mental health care. With an online therapy platform like BetterHelp , you can chat with a therapist remotely, which may be helpful if you’re not yet comfortable discussing topics related to your self-image in person. BetterHelp works with thousands of therapists who have a wide range of specialties, so you’ll likely have a good chance of matching with someone who can address your concerns, whether they’re related to your self-worth, a mental health condition, or another challenge.

Studies suggest that online therapy can help people develop a stronger sense of self-worth. For example, in one study, researchers found that online cognitive behavioral therapy generally increased participants’ self-esteem, self-compassion, and overall quality of life. Cognitive behavioral therapy can help individuals identify and replace negative thought patterns that may be leading to maladaptive emotions and behaviors, such as those related to devaluing oneself.

What is an example of self-worth?

Imagine a college student who receives a low grade on a test. Instead of letting this key life moment define her or succumbing to a critical inner voice, she recognizes her positive qualities and understands that one grade does not determine her overall worth.

How do I develop self-worth and self-esteem?

Building self-worth and self-esteem involves practicing self-acceptance, recognizing and appreciating your positive qualities, challenging your critical inner voice, and avoiding defining your worth by external factors. Seeking self-understanding and cultivating personal power can also boost self-worth.

What are the 4 types of self-worth?

Self-worth can be categorized into four types:

Self-confidence: belief in one’s abilities.
Self-acceptance: embracing oneself, flaws and all.
Self-understanding: deep knowledge about self-strengths, weaknesses, and motivations.
Self-compassion: treating oneself with kindness and understanding, especially during tough times.

What is a strong self-worth?

A strong self-worth means possessing an internal sense of being a worthy and capable person, irrespective of external factors or what others might think. It’s accompanied by healthy self-worth and genuine self-confidence.

What is an example of a lack of self-worth?

A person who constantly seeks validation from others and lets external factors, like their job or relationship status, entirely dictate their own life, showcases a lack of self-worth.

What are the two types of self-worth?

The two primary types are internal self-worth, which is grounded in an internal sense of worthiness not reliant on external factors, and external self-worth, which is based on external validation, achievements, or societal standards.

What does poor self-worth or self-confidence mean?

Poor self-worth, often synonymous with low self-esteem, indicates a lack of belief in oneself as a worthy and capable person. It is heavily influenced by external factors and a harsh internal critic.

What happens when you have self-worth and self-respect?

When you possess self-worth, you operate from a place of self-acceptance and self-confidence. This leads to healthier relationships, more resilience during key life moments, and a stronger sense of personal power and purpose.

What is the attitude of self-worth?

The attitude of self-worth is characterized by self-respect, valuing oneself, acknowledging one’s positive qualities, and not letting external factors solely define one’s value.

What is another meaning for self-worth?

Another way to describe self-worth is as the internal sense of your value or worth as a person, beyond just skills or accomplishments.

How To Stop Feeling Inadequate: Understanding Feelings of inadequacy Medically reviewed by Melissa Guarnaccia , LCSW
The Media And Body Image: Safeguarding Your Self-Esteem Medically reviewed by Paige Henry , LMSW, J.D.
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How to Focus on Your Values in Your Personal Statement

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by CEG Essay Specialist Kaila Barber in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info.

What’s Covered:

Identifying your own values, demonstrate your values with examples.

Reflecting on Your Experiences

It’s important to keep in mind what your reader is hoping to learn from your personal statement. The statement is an opportunity to reflect on your experiences and demonstrate how you think about and relate to the world around you. Specifically, what are some of your values? What’s meaningful to you? What do you find important?

Personal values can be things like communication, patience, nature, health, personal development, courage, self-love, authenticity, healthy boundaries, or even humor. Before you start drafting your personal statement, take a moment to reflect on the things that you find important and why.

We’re all very different people coming from different backgrounds, and we have different experiences that impact our individual values. While some of your values will overlap with those of other people, your personal reflection on the values that resonate most with you will separate your statement from someone else’s.

The best way to include your values, skills, and traits in your essay is to pair them with specific examples and anecdotes. Each anecdote should align with at least one of the values that you find most important and should be accompanied by your personal reflection on the value and its related experience.

Here’s an example. A student does not have a parent or guardian around to shoulder the expenses of caring for them and their younger sibling. In their outline, the student says that they value autonomy, financial stability, and family. Throughout the essay, they demonstrate these values by talking about getting a part-time job to help support the family and caring for their sibling at home. They also excel academically and even petition to have an AP Physics II course offered at their school.

The student has shown autonomy by taking the initiative to petition for the new course and by getting a job. They have also demonstrated that both financial stability and family are important to them by pitching in to support their parent and sibling.

Your examples should show your reader your values by being specific and personal to your background and experiences.

Reflecting on Your Experiences

Reflecting on your values is an equally important part of the personal statement. Your reflections or insight should focus on not only your experiences but also who you are and who you want to become. The insight you include in your essay shows that you’ve really found meaning from your personal experiences.

Insight can take a few forms. A common way to show insight is by writing about a growth experience. Show how you went from point A in your life to point B, and share the lessons you’ve learned along the way. For example, people often reflect on how navigating a strenuous activity or challenge changed the way that they thought about themselves and what they could handle. Reflecting on that change in confidence is one way to demonstrate insight.

One of the clearest ways to explore insight is to self-reflect and write about how something has either connected you to, influenced, or reframed how you think of your own values. Maybe you once pushed yourself too hard, and that experience showed you the value of rest and mindfulness. Or perhaps a change in circumstances shifted or redefined your values to an extent.

For example, a person might say that while they craved stability as a child because of their home life, they now see the value of risk-taking and adventure in enriching their own knowledge and experiences. In this example, both security and risk are important to the speaker, but their experiences ultimately shifted weight from one value to another.

Regardless of how you approach your personal statement, insight is the overarching meaning that you take away from the relevant experiences and values you’ve shared.

Are you looking for more guidance as you draft your personal statement? Check out this post on how to come up with a strong topic that wows your admissions reader!

Environment

How much do you value yourself, a radical prescription for personal, and world, peace..

Posted June 25, 2014 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

The age of entitlement is, not coincidentally, the age of high self-esteem . Self-esteem, as defined by standard measures, is a function of how we feel about ourselves—based mostly on comparison to others. It often has a hierarchical bias —we’re better than some, but not as good as others. It has a dark side, too, as indicated by the research of Roy Baumeister and colleagues and summarized in the book, Evil: Inside Human Violence and Cruelty. High self-esteem tends to create a sense of entitlement. When the world does not meet their entitlement needs, many with high self-esteem feel wronged and may retaliate with manipulation, abuse, or violence.

Self-value is more behavioral than emotional, more about how you act toward what you value , including yourself, than how you feel about yourself compared to others . It necessarily includes self-care.

To value something goes beyond regarding it as important; you also appreciate its qualities, while investing time, energy, effort, and sacrifice in its nurturing or maintenance. If you value a da Vinci painting, you focus on its beauty and design more than the cracks in the paint, and, above all, you treat it well, making sure that it is maintained in ideal conditions and shielded from direct lighting. Similarly, people with high self-value appreciate their own better qualities (even while trying to improve their lesser ones) and take care of their physical and psychological health, growth, and development.

Now here's the tricky part. In contrast to high self-esteem, with its tendency toward entitlement, people with high self-value necessarily value others . Where self-esteem is hierarchical, self-value is about equality. Here's why: When we value others, we value ourselves more—we elevate our sense of well-being and facilitate our health, growth, and development. (Think of how you feel when you’re loving and compassionate to those you love.) When we devalue someone else, we devalue ourselves—our sense of well being deteriorates, we violate our basic humanity to some degree, and become more narrow and rigid in perspective, all of which impair growth and development. (Think of how you feel when you devalue loved ones.) In other words, when you value someone else you experience a state of value—vitality, meaning, and purpose—and when you devalue someone else, you experience a devalued state, wherein the will to live well becomes less important than the will to control or dominate or at least be seen as right.

Valuing others makes our self-value soar. It also carries substantial social reward; showing value tends to invoke reciprocity and cooperation . Devaluing others, though, causes reactivity and resistance. It makes us look for something to be cranky about, so the low-grade adrenaline can inflate our egos enough to get us through the day.

In general, the more we value other people, animals, and things, the stronger our self-value becomes; the more we devalue, the lower our self-value sinks, making elaborate and often self-destructive ego defenses—chronic resentment, anger , substance abuse , impulsive behavior, or abuse of others—seem necessary.

A radical approach to self-value makes these and other maladaptive ego defenses unnecessary. Here's how to get there:

1. Physical Well-Being. Commit to making your physical health important and worthy of appreciation, time, energy, and sacrifice. Begin by reading widely available information about wellness, diet , and exercise, and decide which are optimal for you. Pursue your regimen of health vigorously—not only for yourself, but to make the world a better place.

2. Emotional Well-Being. Make your emotional well-being worthy of appreciation, time, energy, and sacrifice. Emotional well-being has many dimensions:

Honor your deepest values. The most potent contributor to consistent emotional well-being is fidelity to your deepest values. When we are true to our deepest values—whatever they are—we feel more genuine. When we violate those values, we experience guilt , shame , and anxiety —not as punishments, but as reminders to be authentic. If your life feels genuine, with sustained interest, purpose, conviction, and compassion, you have created a set of values and more or less kept true to them.
Survey your environment. We continually survey our environment for objects of attraction and threat—as one evolutionary anthropologist put it, food, affiliation, sex , saber-tooth tigers, and snakes in the grass. Many people, as researcher John Gottman has said, continually survey their environment for anything that might possibly be negative. They have trained their brains, quite inadvertently, to look for things that will make them feel down, resentful, anxious, or angry, which they inevitably find and almost always blame on the people around them. Fortunately, our brains can do the opposite—look for something to appreciate, enjoy, or be interested in—although it takes practice, as well as commitment to emotional well-being. We have very little control over the environment we live in, but we have considerable control over where in the environment to aim our focus. There are innumerable things around us that can stimulate interest, curiosity, enjoyment, courage, compassion, and kindness. Seek them out.
Act on what's most important. Much of the suffering in the world occurs when people violate what is most important to them by acting on what is less important. Think of the big mistakes you’ve made in life: Nearly every one probably involves devaluing someone or something important to you by acting on something that was not as important.
Value when feeling devalued. When we feel devalued, we feel we must do something that will make us feel more valuable—not more powerful. The easiest way to feel valuable is to be compassionate, kind, or loving. This is a simple but transformative skill, which anyone can acquire with practice. When you feel powerless, do something that will make you feel more valuable (e.g., compassionate, kind, or loving). In 20 minutes—or less, if not a lot of cortisol was secreted with the negative emotion —your self-value will be higher than before the powerless feeling occurred.

Learn more at CompassionPower .

Steven Stosny, Ph.D., treats people for anger and relationship problems. His recent books include How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about It and Love Without Hurt .

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Values — My Core Values: A Personal Reflection on What Matters Most

My Core Values: a Personal Reflection on What Matters Most

Categories: Values

About this sample

Words: 676 |

Published: Jan 28, 2021

Words: 676 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

Works Cited:

Evans, R. J. (2005). The Third Reich in Power. Penguin.
Gao, P. (2007). How Japan Plans to Win the War. Journal of Contemporary China, 16(50), 613-625.
Henig, R. M. (1995). Versailles and After: 1919-1933. Routledge.
Johnston, M. (Ed.). (2011). The Cambridge Handbook of Japanese Foreign Policy. Cambridge University Press.
Kershaw, I. (2000). Hitler, 1936-1945: Nemesis. Penguin.
Mommsen, W. J., & Kettenacker, L. (Eds.). (1996). The Fascist Challenge and the Policy of Appeasement. Routledge.
Paxton, R. O. (2005). The Anatomy of Fascism. Vintage.
Shirer, W. L. (2011). The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich: A History of Nazi Germany. Simon & Schuster.
Weinberg, G. L. (1994). A World at Arms: A Global History of World War II. Cambridge University Press.
Dower, J. W. (1999). Embracing Defeat: Japan in the Wake of World War II. W. W. Norton & Company.

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Believe in Myself / How I Learned To Value And Believe In Myself

How I Learned To Value And Believe In Myself

Category: Life
Topic: Believe in Myself , Self Esteem , Values

Pages: 2 (811 words)

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