personal development journey essay

The Days of My Life: Personal Development Essay

Introduction: purpose, goals, and methods, in search for my own self: from early childhood to these days, conclusion: personal development in retrospect, reference list.

Taking a retrospect at one’s own development is a good way to analyze the current behavioral patterns and define the issues that may possibly jeopardize building relationships with the people around. In the given research, I am going to take a look at my won cognitive development through the lens of various cognitive development theories (CDTs) and check the effects of various internal and external factors on my life. Thus, I will learn not only to apply the theories that I have learned to practice but also to define the aspects that I will have to work on later.

The journey starts in early childhood

Naturally, browsing through my early childhood memories is quite complicated, seeing how I remember quite little about the given stage of my life. However, there were some choice moments that I clearly remember as the pivoting points of my development. For example, I can still recall some of the games that my mother used to play with me to develop my ability to think logically and be able to communicate.

Piaget’s theory at its best

Perhaps, one of the best ways to demonstrate a child’s development of cognitive and analytical skills, Piaget’s theory can be easily applied to my childhood memories. As an infant, I played with a teddy bear. Being a single parent, my mother had to leave me in daycare, yet I protested against being alone. To calm me down, my mother suggested that I draw a portrait of my teddy bear, which I did. Therefore, my ability to cognize the world through object permanence (tactile functions) transformed into symbolic thinking (transfer of the tactile experience into visual one).

Erikson: at the sixth stage

My childhood development can also be seen through the prism of Erikson’s stages of cognitive development. An alternative to Piaget’s and Vygotsky’s theories, it also has the right to exist, which my childhood experience has confirmed. I developed trust in my mother at the stage of infancy. It should be noted that the link between trust and breastfeeding, which Erikson provided, seems quite inconsistent, since in my case, mother-child relationships were very strong, even though my mother gave up breastfeeding when I was six weeks and started using bottle feeding. Like other children, I started fighting for my autonomy when I was around three; with little experience of raising children, my mother did not encourage my attempts at being independent properly and scolded me down when I failed, which resulted in enhancing my shame and doubt.

Vygotsky: the world around me

My childhood impressions, however, can also be analyzed from the point of view provided by Vygotsky. For instance, in my early childhood, I refused to share my toys with my playmates. The given phenomenon, in fact, can be explained with the help of Vygotsky’s theory. Noticing my greediness, my mother started giving me examples of generosity. For example, she tried to have me around when lending money, books, etc., to her friends and giving her things to charity. Thus, my mother performed the function of a scaffold, teaching me the basic principles of sharing.

Psychodynamic theory: new discoveries

Motivated both consciously and unconsciously, in accordance with the principles of psychodynamic theory, I learned new skills from interacting with the environment around me and the emotions that I had in the process. Sometimes these experiences were useful, like the pride that I felt after being praised for reading a very long word without mistakes at school. However, some of the emotions blocked my enthusiasm as a learner for quite along. For example, even now, I shiver a bit when I need to strike a match because of the burn that I got at five when playing with my mother’s lighter when she could not see me.

Growing pains: teenage angst

Much like any other teenager, I had to face a number of problems in order to accept the new patterns of relationships and to learn new communication skills. Apart from the way in which society works, I also had to learn how to be accepted and, at the same time, remain an individual. To describe the stages that I had to pass in the course of this transformation, Sternberg’s theory should be used.

Sternberg’s theory: from conventional to creative intelligence

I must admit that, as a child, I did not socialize with the rest of the children much; as a result, growing into a teenager, I was socially awkward most of the time. What I knew about people and society, I learned mostly from books and soon discovered that there was a huge gap between novels and reality. At this point, my development could be viewed through the lens of Sternberg’s theory.

Practical sub theory in action: acquiring communication skills

In the fifth grade, I started working on my communication skills. The process of skills acquisition was rather complicated, even though I had some experience in communication. In accordance with Sternberg’s theory (Bussey & Bandura, 1999, p. 677), I had to learn the basics of conventional communication principles before choosing the communication patterns that suited me best.

Experimental sub theory in action: training communication skills

After learning new skills, I tried them on the people around me in an attempt at winning them over. In some cases, my attempts were successful – I managed to find a sidekick when I enrolled in an art class. However, in a number of instances, these attempts led nowhere, which made me work harder on my social skills.

Gender issues and Chodorow’s theory: defining the differences

However, intelligence development and the skill of thinking outside of the box were not the only issues that I had to learn in the process of growing up. As I had stressed previously, at the age of 11, my knowledge of the social and physiological differences between boys and girls made me flock with girls of my age. However, at the age of 14, I started feeling that building relationships with boys are also an important part of my cognitive experience.

I remember dating boys at 15–17 and being romantically involved; however, it was all a part of growing up and cognizing the world and people around me, which was the key reason why these relationships never went anywhere. Perhaps, being relatively short, these experiences did not lead me to succumb to “women’s universal subordination that is based on a social, rather than a biological, explanation” (Ryle, 2012, p. 135), as Chodorow put it.

The world, through the lens of a young adult

Triarchic theory is still powerful: new experiences.

After I gave birth to my daughter, I discovered a whole new world of new experiences. Not all of them were positive – some included such problems as fighting fears when my daughter got sick, etc. However, by learning to be a mother, I realized that I have a plethora of both practical and artistic skills to learn. Therefore, Sternberg’s theory of learning to handle new tasks is still powerful. For example, while I used to be quite awkward when teaching my daughter to talk, I now feel experienced enough to develop sets of exercises for her creative learning.

Horney and Freud’s legacy: gender theories

As I have stressed above, I have been having issues in communication with the opposite sex. The given issues must have been stemming from my childhood experience. Being a child of a single mother, I could not observe the interactions between a man and a woman and, therefore, had to discover the specifics of gender relationships on my own. As Freud specifies, the so-called scripts, i.e., patterns of relationships, are learned in late childhood (Ryle, 2012, p. 135); in my case, these scripts did not include a male counterpart, which was the key stumbling block in my relationships with my male friends. As a result, I seem to have developed what Horney defined as a masculinity complex, which makes my gender relationships even more complicated (Paris, 2003, p. 22).

Divorce and the associated threats: Jung

I have to admit that at some point in my development, I had to face a serious crisis. In contrast to my expectations, my family life left much to be desired in terms of relationships with my husband. The problems that I encountered could be traced back to my Electra complex, as Jung (Borovečki-Jakovljev & Matacic, ‎2005, p. 351) defined it. Being raised by a single parent, I had little to no examples of interactions between a husband and a wife, which meant that I had to create my own interactional patterns.

Evaluating my experience, I must admit that I have a number of issues to confront. While my development did not differ much from the development of other children, such factors as being raised by a single parent and failing at claiming my independence in early childhood have affected my character and, therefore, shape my current behavioral patterns.

What needs to be addressed

As Jung’s theory allowed defining, I will have to work on learning to build relationships with men. Without a particular pattern learned from early childhood, the given task is extremely complicated. However, the situation that I face at present also has a positive side to it – I do not have the inherently wrong male-female relationship pattern based on the example set by my parents.

Future developmental prospects

Despite the fact that I already have a number of behavioral patterns cemented in my brain, changes in the environment that I live in, particularly new influences and interactions with new people mat possibly change the way I build relationships with people around me. By using the theories listed above to analyze my behavioral patterns, I will be capable of shaping my attitude towards other people and be open to new experiences.

Borovečki-Jakovljev, S. & Matacic, S.‎ (2005). The Oedipus complex in contemporary psychoanalysis. Collegium Antropologicum 29 (1), pp. 351–360.

Bussey, K., & Bandura, A. (1999). Social cognitive theory of gender development and differentiation. Psychological Review, 106 (6), pp. 676-713.

Paris, B. J. (2003). Horney & humanistic psychoanalysis. In Frager, R. & Fadiman, J. (Eds.), Personality and personal growth (pp. 1–29). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall.

Ryle, R. (2012). How do we learn Gender? Questioning Gender (pp. 119–165). Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications.

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IvyPanda. (2021, March 22). The Days of My Life: Personal Development. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-days-of-my-life-personal-development/

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IvyPanda . "The Days of My Life: Personal Development." March 22, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-days-of-my-life-personal-development/.

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Are you reaching your full potential? A guide to personal development

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What is personal development?

5 areas of personal development, the benefits of personal development, 6 steps to developing a personal development plan, how personalized development can help.

I’m no stranger to feeling stuck. There are days I wake up and just go through the daily motions. I make coffee then sit down at my computer for a day of work. I’ll usually work out, walk the dogs, make dinner. Then, read, watch a show, go to bed. The next day? Wake up and do it all over again.

Especially at the height of the pandemic, it started to feel like vicious monotony. Our lives seemingly stalled in bumper-to-bumper traffic. It feels like dreams, goals, and ambitions are buried in thick molasses or honey at the back of our brains. And even as we navigate this new normal , that “stuck” feeling might be stuck with us.

The good news? You’re not alone — and personal development is here to help.

I embarked on an intentional personal development journey well before I knew what it meant. I knew I wanted to see personal growth — and had reached a point in my life where I needed real change .

At BetterUp, personal development comes to life in what we call an Inner Work® practice . Inner Work® is deep work, a practice that isn’t always visible to the outside eye. But with the right personal development toolkit, you can build a lifelong practice of Inner Work® .

My own personal growth journey has seen its series of ups and downs, failures and successes. Any personal development journey is a lifelong commitment, not a sprint or achievable task. It will weather bumps and roadblocks but it can also thrive in other areas of your life.

If you’re looking for ways to up your personal development game, we’re here to help.

It’s certainly not as easy as it sounds. Every person is unique. So, it only makes sense that personal development will look different for everyone. But what does it actually mean?

Personal development is looking inward and focusing on ways to better yourself. Personal development increases your self-awareness, your self-esteem, increases your skills, and fulfills your aspirations.

At BetterUp, we’re big believers in the practice of Inner Work®. In many ways, personal development is a form of Inner Work® . It is the act of looking inward to achieve a purpose or result, especially in the pursuit of clarity, purpose, and passion in life.

Personal development is much larger than just career development or self-development. It encompasses all aspects of your life where you’d like to see personal growth — and it doesn’t discriminate on where it shows up for you.

When it comes to personal development, it’s hard to not reference Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. According to Maslow, your basic needs need to be fulfilled in order to reach your fullest potential. In other words. To reach self-actualization means we’re reaching the highest levels of self-awareness , self-confidence , personal growth, and self-realization.

Much like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we see five different areas of personal development. Different personal development goals can fall into different categories.

Mental

Exercising your brain and staying mentally fit is critical to personal development. At BetterUp, this comes to life in a few ways: coaching, learning opportunities , and career growth. For example, right now, I’m taking a creative writing course to help keep my mental creative muscles going strong. (And BetterUp foots the bill as part of our learning stipend.)

Mental development can be anything from workshops, training sessions , or even just rest. Rest is just as (if not more) important than mental exercise. And as your mental fitness improves , so does your resiliency, innovation, and self-awareness.

Social

Social connections and relationships are also a must-have for any personal development. After all, self-improvement is not a solitary pursuit. Humans are social creatures — we need that connection to learn and grow. And from social connections, we gain important skills. Like communication skills , problem-solving, relationship-building, and the ability to receive (and give) feedback. We also learn from those around us and their experiences.

Spiritual

Personal growth and development — whether you’re religious or not — can come through in spirituality. It’s important to recognize that religion and spirituality are not synonymous. In fact, far from it.

Spirituality means you’re investing in a deeper understanding of your own self in the world around you. It helps you get to know yourself and uncover your values. And in the context of Inner Work®, the spiritual personal development tool can bring greater awareness to self and change.

Emotional

Emotional personal development often goes hand-in-hand with emotional intelligence . At its simplest, emotional intelligence is the ability to understand feelings. Beyond feelings, it’s understanding how those feelings shape our thoughts and actions.

Any number of experiences lends itself to emotional personal development. And those experiences can help you in your pursuit of self-improvement. Take your own Inner Work® journey so far. What experiences have shaped you into who you are today? When you reflect on your journey, what have you learned?

If you’re looking back at your journey and identifying the growth, it’s likely you’ve fostered a sense of emotional development along the way. This requires emotional intelligence to understand what role your feelings and thoughts played.

Physical

A healthy body nourishes a healthy mind. There’s an intrinsic link between your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

This aspect of personal development is focused on physical health — like nutrition, sleep, exercise, and movement. When your physical self is nourished, it’s likely your mind is also reaping those benefits. Consider ways you can build this area of personal development and take note of how your body and your mind feel.

There are plenty of benefits to personal development. Personal growth isn’t easy but the benefits will make the journey worthwhile.

My friend at Google has worked with a BetterUp coach for the last year. In her own personal development journey, she's shared why working with a coach has transformed her personal growth journey.

"My experience with BetterUp has transcended the professional workplace. My coach knows me on a personal level, which allows for her to help me set boundaries, manage expectations, and receive feedback. Ultimately, it's helped me reach my biggest goal of having a work-life balance." A Google employee, BetterUp Member

Increased self-awareness and self-esteem. Personal growth requires looking inward at your own thoughts, feelings, habits, and reactions. It requires attentiveness — and awareness — to who you are as a person in a present state. But it also challenges you to look to the future to where you want to go. By investing in yourself, you’re increasing your self-awareness and by default, self-esteem .
Increased mental fitness. Becoming mentally fit requires work. And many aspects of personal development aid in building strong mental fitness. With increased mental fitness, you’ll see a ripple effect of positive benefits. We’ve gathered data around the impact of mental fitness . People with strong mental fitness are more productive, are less likely to experience mental illness, and are more creative and innovative.
Greater resilience. With personal development, you gain greater resilience . This is another positive symptom of strong mental fitness, too. Investing in your personal growth means investing in your ability to bounce back after rough patches.
More knowledge and learned skills. Oftentimes, personal development comes with more knowledge and learned skills. This can come to life in different ways. For example, you may take courses in digital marketing that help you gain the skills you need to further your career development. Or, you may sign up for art or pottery classes, which help you gain skills in entirely different areas of your life.
Improved personal and professional relationships. Another personal development benefit is improved personal and professional relationships . This is an area that flourishes when you invest in your personal growth, especially in emotional and social aspects.

11 personal development skills to work on

If you’re not sure where to start, consider working with a coach . Personalized coaching can help serve as your guide while you’re building your roadmap to self-actualization.

Your coach will work one-on-one with you to help identify key skills to work on catered to your own experience. You can start by taking the Whole Person Assessment to help assess where your strengths and areas of opportunity lie.

We’ve identified some common areas of self-improvement and personal development you may consider investing in:

Communication and interpersonal skills
Problem-solving
Cognitive agility and adaptability
Self-compassion, self-care , and self-reflection
Conflict and conflict resolution
Navigating change and uncertainty
Future-mindedness
Organizational skills
Growth mindset
Teamwork and collaboration
Self-awareness

Like any other goal, it’s important to put together a plan. By assembling your personal development plan with some structure, you’re more likely to achieve your goals.

1. Identify areas where you’d like to improve

This first step will likely require some Inner Work®. Take a minute to reflect on where you are right now. What are your strengths? In what areas do you want to focus? What growth and development do you want to see in yourself?

If you’ve taken the Whole Person Assessment, this can help as a useful tool. Once you’ve reflected on your personal goals , identify the areas where you’d like to improve .

2. Work with a coach or mentor to assemble a plan

Even if it's your own personal development plan, you don’t have to do it alone. Lean on support systems — like life coaches or mentors — to help frame a plan. With the right structure in place (and feedback along the way), you’ll be better equipped to put the plan into action.

3. Structure your personal development goals

Stick to a routine — and build consistency. Start to examine your day-to-day and try to find ways to either build habits or stack new habits onto existing ones.

In this last year, I wanted to build strength training into my fitness routine. The kicker? I never use weights. I decided to put a yoga mat with weights next to my running shoes. Every time I go for a run, I have to think about those weights sitting next to my shoes. It helps to remind myself to do a quick 5-minute exercise with some dumbbells.

4. Find an accountability buddy

Sometimes, having someone holding you accountable makes all the difference. If you and a friend are both setting intentions and goals, consider ways you can support one another.

Every new hire at BetterUp gets a stack of great books during the onboarding process. My teammate reached out today to see if we could create an accountability plan . We’re each holding each other to 100 pages of reading a week.

5. Be honest and aware of your progress

Your personal development plan requires integrity. Be honest with yourself about your growth and progress. This also requires a level of self-awareness. You can also gather feedback from friends, family, and colleagues to help gather insight on how you’re progressing in your goals, too.

6. Factor personal development into your mental fitness plan

How does personal development factor into your mental fitness plan? Consider ways you can work with your coach on building aspects of personal development into your overall mental fitness.

Personal development is just that: it’s personal.

Every human is different. If our society cracked the nut on personal development, every self-help book would help everyone. Or every learning process would benefit every student.

But we know from our life experiences that there’s no “one-size-fits-all” solution to anything when it comes to human nature.

It’s important to lean on personalized support like coaching to help craft a catered plan that works for you. You won’t have the same needs, strengths, opportunities, and skills as your neighbor. So why would your personal development plan be the same?

Push yourself outside of your comfort zone. By doing so, you'll be on the path to reaching your full potential .

While self-actualization and Inner Work® is a lifelong process, your personal development goals shouldn't be daunting. Start small — like building a new skill or even investing in work-life balance . By doing so, you'll set yourself up for success in all areas of your life.

If you're ready to make a change to improve the quality of your life, consider how personal and professional development coaching can help. With help from BetterUp, you can awaken your full potential .

Unlock your full potential

Explore how personalized coaching can guide you towards achieving your personal and professional goals.

Madeline Miles

Madeline is a writer, communicator, and storyteller who is passionate about using words to help drive positive change. She holds a bachelor's in English Creative Writing and Communication Studies and lives in Denver, Colorado. In her spare time, she's usually somewhere outside (preferably in the mountains) — and enjoys poetry and fiction.

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Home / Essay Samples / Life / Experience / Personal Growth and Development

Personal Growth and Development Essay Examples

Finding your true self - is the biggest life solution.

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Skills are abilities or competencies that individuals possess and have developed through practice, training, or experience. These abilities may be cognitive, physical, technical, or social in nature, and can range from simple tasks such as tying shoelaces to complex skills such as programming a computer...

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The meaning of self-development and self-awareness is widespread. Relatively recently, the notion of personal development refers to anything that is, or maybe, undertaken by each of us, either voluntarily or via various techniques to live better, to improve in different areas of life, to achieve...

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