most influential person college essay

Sample Essays: Influential Person

Please select from the following sample application essays:

Essay 1: Wellesley | Essay 2: Harvard | Essay 3: Harvard

Note: The following essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.

Sample Essay 1

Wellesley, Influence of mother

It took me eighteen years to realize what an extraordinary influence my mother has been on my life. She's the kind of person who has thoughtful discussions about which artist she would most want to have her portrait painted by (Sargent), the kind of mother who always has time for her four children, and the kind of community leader who has a seat on the board of every major project to assist Washington's impoverished citizens. Growing up with such a strong role model, I developed many of her enthusiasms. I not only came to love the excitement of learning simply for the sake of knowing something new, but I also came to understand the idea of giving back to the community in exchange for a new sense of life, love, and spirit.

My mother's enthusiasm for learning is most apparent in travel. I was nine years old when my family visited Greece. Every night for three weeks before the trip, my older brother Peter and I sat with my mother on her bed reading Greek myths and taking notes on the Greek Gods. Despite the fact that we were traveling with fourteen-month-old twins, we managed to be at each ruin when the site opened at sunrise. I vividly remember standing in an empty ampitheatre pretending to be an ancient tragedian, picking out my favorite sculpture in the Acropolis museum, and inserting our family into modified tales of the battle at Troy. Eight years and half a dozen passport stamps later I have come to value what I have learned on these journeys about global history, politics and culture, as well as my family and myself.

While I treasure the various worlds my mother has opened to me abroad, my life has been equally transformed by what she has shown me just two miles from my house. As a ten year old, I often accompanied my mother to (name deleted), a local soup kitchen and children's center. While she attended meetings, I helped with the Summer Program by chasing children around the building and performing magic tricks. Having finally perfected the "floating paintbrush" trick, I began work as a full time volunteer with the five and six year old children last June. It is here that I met Jane Doe, an exceptionally strong girl with a vigor that is contagious. At the end of the summer, I decided to continue my work at (name deleted) as Jane's tutor. Although the position is often difficult, the personal rewards are beyond articulation. In the seven years since I first walked through the doors of (name deleted), I have learned not only the idea of giving to others, but also of deriving from them a sense of spirit.

Everything that my mother has ever done has been overshadowed by the thought behind it. While the raw experiences I have had at home and abroad have been spectacular, I have learned to truly value them by watching my mother. She has enriched my life with her passion for learning, and changed it with her devotion to humanity. In her endless love of everything and everyone she is touched by, I have seen a hope and life that is truly exceptional. Next year, I will find a new home miles away. However, my mother will always be by my side.

The topic of this essay is the writer's mother. However, the writer definitely focuses on herself, which makes this essay so strong. She manages to impress the reader with her travel experience, volunteer and community experience, and commitment to learning without ever sounding boastful or full of herself. The essay is also very well organized.

Sample Essay 2

Harvard, Favorite fictional character

Of all the characters that I've "met" through books and movies, two stand out as people that I most want to emulate. They are Attacus Finch from To Kill A Mockingbird and Dr. Archibald "Moonlight" Graham from Field of Dreams. They appeal to me because they embody what I strive to be. They are influential people in small towns who have a direct positive effect on those around them. I, too, plan to live in a small town after graduating from college, and that positive effect is something I must give in order to be satisfied with my life.

Both Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham are strong supporting characters in wonderful stories. They symbolize good, honesty, and wisdom. When the story of my town is written I want to symbolize those things. The base has been formed for me to live a productive, helpful life. As an Eagle Scout I represent those things that Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham represent. In the child/adolescent world I am Mr. Finch and Dr. Graham, but soon I'll be entering the adult world, a world in which I'm not yet prepared to lead.

I'm quite sure that as teenagers Attacus Finch and Moonlight Graham often wondered what they could do to help others. They probably emulated someone who they had seen live a successful life. They saw someone like my grandfather, 40-year president of our hometown bank, enjoy a lifetime of leading, sharing, and giving. I have seen him spend his Christmas Eves taking gifts of food and joy to indigent families. Often when his bank could not justify a loan to someone in need, my grandfather made the loan from his own pocket. He is a real-life Moonlight Graham, a man who has shown me that characters like Dr. Graham and Mr. Finch do much much more than elicit tears and smiles from readers and movie watchers. Through him and others in my family I feel I have acquired the values and the burning desire to benefit others that will form the foundation for a great life. I also feel that that foundation is not enough. I do not yet have the sophistication, knowledge, and wisdom necessary to succeed as I want to in the adult world. I feel that Harvard, above all others, can guide me toward the life of greatness that will make me the Attacus Finch of my town.

This essay is a great example of how to answer this question well. This applicant chose characters who demonstrated specific traits that reflect on his own personality. We believe that he is sincere about his choices because his reasons are personal (being from a small town, and so forth). He managed to tell us a good deal about himself, his values, and his goals while maintaining a strong focus throughout.

Sample Essay 3

Harvard, Family illness: Mother's fight with cancer

I am learning, both through observations and first-hand experiences, that there are many mishaps in life which seem to be unexplainable and unfair, and yet have devastating consequences. Disease fits into this category. Its atrocity does not stem from the fact that it is a rare or uncommon occurrence, since illness and disease pervade our lives as we hear numerous stories of sick people and come into contact with them each day. However, there is a marked difference between reading in the newspaper that a famous rock star or sports icon has tested H.I.V. positive and discovering that your own mother has been diagnosed with cancer.

Undoubtedly, the most influential people in my life have been my mother and father. It is to them that I credit many of my accomplishments and successes--both inside and outside of school. Throughout my childhood, my parents have always fostered and encouraged me in all my endeavors. At all my sporting events, spelling bees, concerts, and countless other activities, they have always been front row and center. My parents, in conjunction with twelve years of Catholic training, have also instilled in me a sound belief in a loving, caring God, which I have come to firmly believe. It therefore should not come as a surprise that the news of my mothers sickness would greatly alter my entire outlook on life. Where was my God?

My mother, in fact, had been aware of her condition in the spring of my junior year in high school. She deliberately did not inform my sister or me of her illness because she did not want to distract us from our studies. Instead, my mother waited for the completion of her radiation therapy treatments. At this time, she brought me into her room, sat me down on the same wooden rocking chair from which she used to read me bedtime stories, and began to relate her story. I did not weep, I did not flinch. In fact, I hardly even moved, but from that point onward, I vowed that I would do anything and everything to please my mother and make her proud of me.

Every subsequent award won and every honor bestowed upon me has been inspired by the recollection of my mother's plight. I look to her as a driving force of motivation. In her I see the firm, enduring qualities of courage, strength, hope, and especially love. Whenever I feel discouraged or dispirited, I remember the example set by my mother and soon become reinvigorated. Instead of groveling in my sorrow, I think of all the pain and suffering that my mother had to endure and am revived with new energy after realizing the triviality of my own predicament. For instance, last year, when I was playing in a championship soccer game, my leg became entangled with a forwards leg on the other team, and I wound up tearing my medial cruciate ligament. I was very upset for having injured myself in such a seemingly inane manner. Completely absorbed in my own anguish, I would not talk to anyone and instead lamented on the sidelines. But then I remembered something that my mother used to say to me whenever something like this happened: If this is the worst thing that ever happens to you, I'll be very happy, and you'll be very lucky. Instantly, many thoughts race through my mind. I pictured my mother as a young thirteen-year-old walking to the hospital every day after school to visit her sick father. She had always told me how extremely painful it had been to watch his body become emaciated as the cancer advanced day by day and finally took its toll. I then pictured my mother in the hospital, thirty years later, undergoing all the physically and mentally debilitating tests, and having to worry about her husband and her children at the same time. I suddenly felt incredibly ashamed at how immature I had been acting over my own affliction. I gathered my thoughts and instead of sulking or complaining, helped coach my team to victory.

I am very happy to say that my mother is now feeling much better and her periodic checkups and C.A.T. scans have indicated that she is doing very well. Nevertheless, her strength and courage will remain a constant source of inspiration to me. I feel confident to greet the future with a resolute sense of hope and optimism.

The majority of the suggestions for this essay highlight the danger inherent in relying on an overly poignant topic, in this case the writer's mother's bout with cancer. Part of why the reactions to this piece are so passionate (and why there are so many of them) is because had the applicant just taken a slightly different approach, he could have had a powerful and touching composition on his hands. It is always frustrating when a piece with so much potential misses the mark. In this case, the material and emotion are all there. Had he spent more time and written with more sincerity, this essay might have been a real winner.

I wish this kid had started the essay with his mom sitting him down in the rocking chair. That would have been a powerful beginning. In general, using the introduction of the essay to paint a scene or mood can be very effective.

He should begin with the most simple and striking sentence possible, such as "On January 5, 1995, my mother learned that she had cancer." Use real times and exact places. Let the most dramatic point go where it belongs, at the end of the sentence--also known as the stress point.

Because this topic is so personal, I yearn to know more about the student's reaction to his mom's cancer, how he and his family dealt with it over time. As written, things just seem a bit too tidy.

The author describes a valuable life lesson, but I find the writing style to be artificial and a bit maudlin. I imagine he resorted to the thesaurus more than once.

The writer tells us a sad story about his mother with cancer and how he has strived to do his best because of what his mother has been through. The topic can be a tear jerker, but this essay lacked the depth and richness that other essays with similar topics possess.

The experience obviously impacted the student very much. But what students do not realize is that they do not have to share such personal issues within the confines of a college essay.

I don't believe the "epiphany" in the conclusion as it's described. It's too easy and convenient to be believable. He begins his description with "For instance," which negates almost everything that follows. When he sees his mother in his mind, he "instantly" thinks this and "suddenly" does that, and finally "helped coach his team to victory." He "coached" the team. "Cheered" maybe. "Coached?" No way.

This essay smells of contrivance. Yes, his mother's bout with cancer affected him. Just not in the way he wants me to believe. This is the "lasting sanctifying effect" essay. Look at what the writer is actually saying (using his own words): I used to be "absorbed in my own anguish" and "lament" my bouts with adversity. But, "instantly" or "suddenly" (take your pick), I became a young man "confident to greet the future with a resolute sense of hope and optimism." Why not say, "I used to be a thoughtless, immature teenager. My mother got cancer. I'm now a thoughtful, mature adult. You should admit me to _____." His essay is no less subtle.

Return to: Lesson One: College Essay Questions

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How to Write a College Essay About an Influential Person

November 2, 2022

When brainstorming topics for your college essay, you’ve probably considered writing about a person who has influenced or inspired you–a parent or grandparent, a sibling, a teacher, or another significant figure in your life. You may be writing an essay of your own design or responding to the fourth prompt on this year’s Common Application: Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Writing about someone else in a college essay can be tricky—after all, your ultimate goal is still to tell admissions officers enough about you to help them decide whether to offer you admission. But there’s a way to do that even while writing a specific, insightful essay centered on another person. In this post, we’ll walk you through the process of choosing someone to write about, brainstorming, and pulling your ideas together into a finished essay.

Choosing a person to write about

One of our favorite college essays about someone other than the writer is Zoya Garg’s essay about her mother, which was published in the New York Times . Garg writes about her mother’s dreams of a career as a stand-up comedian and how a gift from Garg helped set her on the path to achieving those dreams:

“My mom finds a baffling delight from drinking from glass, hotel-grade water dispensers. Even when three-day-old lemon rinds float in stale water, drinking from the dispenser remains luxurious. Last year for her birthday, I saved enough to buy a water dispenser for our kitchen counter. However, instead of water, I filled it with handwritten notes encouraging her to chase her dreams of a career.”

One of the things that works well about Garg’s essay is how precisely Garg pinpoints the ways her mom has inspired her—Garg mentions her mother’s curiosity, her sense of humor, and her ability to “light up conversations” with and “reach the hearts of” everyone she encounters. If you’re going to write an essay about someone else, choose someone about whom you can identify these kinds of details, rather than someone who has inspired you from afar.

Inspiration doesn’t always have to be positive—perhaps you were inspired by not wanting to be like a particular person in your life. But if you choose to write about someone who inspired you in a more indirect or negative way, be mindful of the tone you’re striking in your essay and the impression it might leave on an admissions officer. Remember that your essay is an opportunity to show the kind of community member you would be if admitted to the school.

Brainstorming your essay

A successful essay about someone who has inspired you will have two key ingredients: examples and reflection. (To learn more on the importance of reflection in the college essay, check out our Complete Your College Essay Online Course .) But unlike a recipe, you don’t have to add these ingredients in any particular order—you can begin by brainstorming either one and still find your way to a powerful finished essay.

If you’d like to start with examples, spend some time thinking about moments when this person inspired or influenced you. Try to pinpoint them as precisely as possible: Did you have a conversation with your father or a driving lesson with your mother that particularly taught you something? Did time spent with an older sibling while on a family vacation show you something about the person you hope to become?

Once you have your list of moments, try writing a sentence or two about what you learned in each instance. For example: Driving with my mother, who always wanted to take the scenic route, reminded me of the importance of patience, something I have long struggled with.

If you already know what you’ve learned from the person you’re focusing on, you can just as easily do this brainstorm in reverse. Try first writing out the “lessons” you’ve learned. Then, under each one, list as many examples as you can think of that illustrate how this person taught you what you’ve learned from them—the driving lesson, the meaningful conversation, the morning spent surfing, and more. The most evocative examples and moments on the list will be excellent material for your essay.

Beginning to write

You’ve probably spent a lot of time with the most important people in your life. (If you haven’t, that might be an essay in itself!) That can make those people even harder to describe, because we know so much more about them than can fit into a single essay.

As you begin to write, return to some of the questions you asked during the brainstorming process:

What one illustrative story can you tell about this person?
What one or two key things have you learned from them, or what one or two things have they inspired you to do?
Was there a specific experience one of you went through during which they inspired you?

Think back to Zoya Garg’s anecdote of a birthday gift, which tells a much larger story about her relationship with her mother and about Garg’s own ability to understand and support those around her.

Sometimes the easiest way to build this kind of essay is to work backwards. Consider this person’s traits – what does the reader need to know most about the person, and what have you learned from them? Perhaps it’s your mother’s fondness for taking the scenic route, or your sister’s willingness to try new things. Then make a list of experiences, traits, or adjectives that best capture those elements: Is it the way they laugh, how they take charge in difficult situations, how they walk into a room? In Garg’s essay, one telling detail is her mother’s “baffling delight” in drinking out of fancy glass water dispensers, which kicks off the entire story. Those are the perfect kinds of characteristics and small moments to include in your essay.

And remember—it isn’t enough just to describe this inspirational person. You’ll also need to describe how their influence shows up in your life, in big or small ways.

Revising your essay

Once you’ve drafted your essay, and perhaps taken some time away from the draft, look at your essay with fresh eyes . This is a great opportunity to check that your essay is specific and precise in the way you describe the person who inspired you, so that the admissions officers reading your essay will come away feeling like they know that person. Keep in mind that even if you’re writing about an experience of anti-inspiration, or someone who inspired you not to be like them, it’s worth trying to strike a positive tone in your essay.

And finally, remember that your ultimate goal is to give the admissions committee insight into who they might be inviting into their campus community. You want them to feel as though they’ve gotten to know you —no matter who else you introduce them to along the way.

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Sample Common Application Essay for Option #5

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Jill writes about a person who had a significant influence on her. Her response works well for Common Application essay option #5: "Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others."

As you read the essay, note how it is about much more than the woman who influenced Jill. Jill uses her interactions with a strong-willed and difficult woman to reveal to the admissions folks an important moment in her own personal growth.

Sample Common Application Essay

"Buck Up" by Jill

Susan Lewis is a woman that very few people would consider a role model for anything. A fifty-something high-school dropout, she has little more to her name than a beat-up truck, a Jack Russell Terrier and a ragtag herd of aging and/or neurotic horses with which she's run a largely unsuccessful riding lesson program for twenty years with no business plan to speak of and little hope of ever turning a profit. She curses like a sailor, is perpetually un-punctual, and has an erratic and often terrifying temper.

I've taken weekly riding lessons with Sue since middle school, often against my own better judgment. Because for all her seemingly unredeemable qualities, she inspires me - not necessarily as a person I'd strive to emulate, but simply for her unwavering perseverance. In the five years I've known her, I've never once seen her give up on anything. She would sooner go hungry (and sometimes does) than give up on her horses and her business. She sticks to her guns on every issue, from political views to hay prices to her (frankly terrible) business model. Sue has never once given up on herself or her horses or her business, and she never gives up on her students.

My dad lost his job not long after I started high school, and horseback riding quickly became a luxury we couldn't afford. So I called Sue to tell her that I wouldn't be riding for a while, at least until my father was back on his feet.

I hadn't expected an outpouring of sympathy (Sue, as you may have guessed, isn't an overwhelmingly sympathetic person), but I certainly wasn't expecting her to yell at me, either. Which was exactly what happened. She told me in no uncertain terms that I was ridiculous for thinking that money should stop me from doing something I loved, and she would see me bright and early Saturday morning regardless, and if she had to drive me to the barn herself that she would, and I'd better be wearing a good pair of boots because I'd be working off my lessons until further notice.

Her refusal to give up on me said more than I could ever put into words. It would have been easy for her to just let me leave. But Sue was never a person to take the easy way out, and she showed me how to do the same. I worked harder in Sue's barn that year than I'd ever worked before, earning every minute of my riding time, and I'd never felt more proud of myself. In her own stubborn way, Sue had shared with me an invaluable lesson in perseverance. She may not be much of a role model in any other respect, but Susan Lewis does not give up, and I strive every day to live by her example.

Analysis and Critique of Jill's Common Application Essay

What can you learn from how this essay was written? The essay is interesting and written in an engaging style, but how well does this work for the purpose of the Common Application essay?

The Essay's Title

The title is the first thing a reader sees. A good title can immediately pique your reader's curiosity and grab his or her attention. The title frames and focuses on the words that follow. A missing title is a lost opportunity, and a weak title is an immediate handicap. Unfortunately, coming up with a good title can be remarkably difficult.

Jill's title "Buck Up" is good in that it plays with the word "buck." On the one hand, the essay is about horses. On the other, it is using the phrase "buck up" to mean "showing some courage or backbone." This kind of playfulness can work well in a title.

"Buck Up," however, does have some shortcomings. Namely, it isn't entirely clear to the reader what the essay will be about. The admissions folks may end up appreciating the title, but only after they read the essay. A title that makes sense only in retrospect obviously isn't doing the best job preparing the reader for the essay.

The Essay's Focus

By focusing on Susan Lewis, someone who in many ways isn't even likable, the essay isn't typical, and it shows that the author can recognize the positive in a person who has a lot of negatives going for her. The college admission reader will be impressed that the author has shown she is a creative and open-minded thinker. The essay fully explains the influence Susan Lewis has on the author, leading her to appreciate hard work and perseverance. This was an important step into adulthood for the author.

Also, think about the broader implications of the essay. If a teenager is able to recognize the positive qualities of someone as unlikable as Susan Lewis, that student is also likely to do well in a residential college where different personalities are thrown together in close quarters.

The Essay's Tone

Striking the right tone can be a big challenge in a college application essay. When writing about someone who is rather unlikable, it would be easy to come across as mocking or condescending. The essay points out many of Susan Lewis's shortcomings, but it keeps a light an playful tone. The result is that the author comes across as loving and appreciative, not deprecating. However, it takes a skillful writer to provide just the right balance of levity and seriousness. This is a danger zone, and you will need to ensure you don't fall into a negative tone.

The Quality of the Writing

"Buck Up" is not a perfect essay, but the flaws are few. Try to avoid cliché or tired phrases such as "sticks to her guns" and "back on his feet." There are also a few minor grammatical mistakes.

Jill does well when it comes to the essay's style . The narrative has a pleasing variety of sentence types ranging from short and punchy to long and complex. The language is playful and engaging, and Jill has done an admirable job painting a rich portrait of Susan Lewis in a few short paragraphs.

Every sentence and paragraph adds important details to the essay, and the reader never gets the sense that Jill is wasting space with a bunch of unnecessary fluff. This is important: with the 650- word limit on Common Application essays, there's no room for wasted words. At 478 words, Jill is safely within the length limit.

The most admirable thing about the writing here is that Jill's personality comes through. We get a sense of her humor, her power of observation, and her generosity of spirit. A lot of applicants feel like they need to brag about their accomplishments in their application essay, yet Jill shows how those accomplishments can be conveyed in a pleasingly understated way.

Why Colleges Ask Applicants to Write Essays

It's always important to keep in mind why colleges ask applicants to write essays. On a simple level, they want to make sure you can write well, something that Jill has demonstrated effectively with "Buck Up." But more significantly, the admissions folks are indicating that they have holistic admissions and they want to get to know the students they are considering for admission.

Test scores and grades don't tell a college what type of person you are, other than one who works hard and tests well. What's your personality like? What do you truly care about? How do you communicate your ideas to others? And the big one: Are you the type of person we want to invite to become part of our campus community? The personal essay (along with the interview and letters of recommendation ) is one of the few pieces of the application that helps the admissions folks get to know the person behind the grades and test scores.

Jill's essay, whether deliberately or not, answers these questions in ways that work in her favor. She shows that she is observant, caring, and funny. She demonstrates self-awareness as she narrates the ways in which she has grown as a person. She shows that she is generous and finds positive qualities in people who have a lot of negatives. And she reveals that she gets pleasure out of overcoming challenges and working hard to achieve her goals. In short, she comes across as the type of person who would enrich a campus community.

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All about college essays: Tips on how to answer the “Person who has had significant influence on you and describe that influence” question

Application Process , Essay Writing | Aug 16., 2010 by admin | 1 Comment

Post By : COYD Staff

-Purpose of asking the question

-Most common answers to this question

-How to figure out the answer to the question from your library of experiences and relationships

-Extra tips on this specific question

Today we are going to discuss essay #3: Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence .

Purpose of the question

The admissions officers are looking for 2 things when asking this question: 1) What are your values? What qualities and attributes do you value in others and strive to attain? 2) How the person has influenced you, shown on the rest of your application.

Describing the person that influenced you will either show the attributes you value or the ones you don’t value depending on if this person positively influenced you or negatively influenced you. Either way, this question will reveal a lot about your values and what you strive to become in your life.

Some of the values that admissions officers are looking for are: Ability to learn from mistakes, Accountability, Concern for others, Creativity, Defined goals, Dignity, Discipline, Ethics, Goal-oriented person, Honesty, Humility, Introspection, Leadership, Lucidity, Maturity, Positivity, Self-awareness, Team-oriented, Uniqueness, and Vision.

Qualities that they aren’t looking for are: Anger, Arrogance, Bad writing, Blind Ambition, Ego, Entitlement, Immaturity, Mediocrity, Perfectionism, Poor judgment, Prejudice against race/gender, and Vanity.

The second purpose often gets overlooked. Students spend so much time describing the person, they forget to describe how this person has had an influence on them. Admissions officers want to see that this person has actually had an influence on your life, so that influence should reflect within your application. Show concrete examples of how their influence translated to some action on your part, whether it be joining an organization, playing an instrument, running for a leadership position…etc.

Most common answers to this question

Mom and Dad. It’s great to see that high school students value their parents, but unless you have an extraordinary story, try to stay away from writing about Mom or Dad. I’m not saying that they didn’t have the most influence on you. For most of us (including me), they did. It’s just that so many people mention their Mom or Dad, and I don’t want your essay to get lost in the crowd. If you absolutely have to write about your Mom or Dad, there are a few ways to avoid your essay getting lost in the pile of similar answers: write an extremely compelling introduction, write the nicknames of your Mom or Dad, tell an extraordinary story about your Mom or Dad. The more details you put into your essay the better. Use more examples and less adjectives.

Remember, the individual who has deeply influenced you does not always have to be someone you admire. However, if you do answer this question with someone whom you don’t admire, try not to sound hateful and angry.

How to figure out the answer to the question from your library of experiences and relationships

– Think of a time where you had a strong emotional reaction to an experience or conversation. Who was involved in that experience? – Who has influenced you to change something about yourself? – Who has influenced you to take a risk in your life, leave your comfort zone, or challenged you? – Who has influenced you to believe in yourself? – Who do you think of immediately when you are asked the essay question?

– What experience are you most proud of, and who was involved in that experience?

Extra tips on this specific question

If the university allows, add a picture. The picture should add to the text of the essay. If the picture doesn’t add much, don’t include it, but if it reveals a part of that person that you can’t fully explain in words, attach a picture.

I read an amazing essay that was written about a student’s grandmother. She attached her grandmother’s photograph. The photograph was a close-up picture of her grandma with her hands folded. The focus of the picture was on the hands and she wrote about how her grandma’s hands revealed her grandma’s life. The picture was profound and gut wrenching. The picture spoke a thousand words, and it made the words in her essay even more powerful.

Note: Check with your university first to see if you can attach a picture to an essay question.

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Admissions Essay on an Influential Person: Writing Tips

College admissions essays often focus on an influential person. It may be your parent, coach, friend, or anyone else who has had a significant impact on your life and development. Such essays can be really good if you know how to write them properly. Thus, we at college-writers blog decided to help you.

Six years ago, one of the Common Application essay prompts asked applicants to write an essay about an influential person. Although there were no such prompts in 2018, you are still allowed to write about an important person from your life if you go with the option called “topic of your choice.”

1. Don’t just describe — analyze

An essay on an influential person shouldn’t just describe this person. Describing doesn’t require you to use your critical thinking so you won’t be able to write a thoughtful reflective essay. Instead of describing, you must analyze the impact of the chosen person on your life, explaining your relationship with them.

2. Mom or dad is not the best option

Of course, you can write about your mom or dad, but keep in mind that thousands of applicants write about their parents every year. Your essay must stand out so we suggest that you write about your parents only if you have really special or unusual relationships with them. If you just say that your father was a great role model for you, such an essay will be generic and not interesting for anyone but you.

3. Avoid writing about celebrities

Don’t write about your favorite singer or actor because such an essay will not provide any valuable insights into your personality. Your favorite celebrity may have millions or billions of fans, so the only thing your readers will learn from such an essay is that you love pop culture.

4. Unusual subjects are good

If you manage to write a good, inspirational essay on an obscure and unusual subject, it will certainly stand out and attract attention. Write about how you were a young kid and found the best friend in your life in a summer camp. Or write about a completely ordinary person who somehow inspired you.

5. Significant influence doesn’t mean a positive influence

Most essays about an influential person focus on role models (parents, teachers, coaches, etc.). Writing about people who had a positive influence on you is good, but such an approach is also predictable. You can make your essay more unique if you write about some terrible person who showed you an example of who you don’t want to be. You can also describe how a relationship with a hateful or abusive person made you stronger.

6. Your essay is also about yourself

An essay about an influential person is not only about that person but also about yourself. Be introspective and reflective. To analyze somebody’s impact on your life, you should also understand your strengths and weaknesses. In addition, don’t forget that the admissions essay must give readers an understanding of who you are, what are your passions, interests, and character. The main purpose of the admissions essay is to prove that you’re a person who can make a positive contribution to the campus community.

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Personal Essay Example: The Most Influential and Impactful People in My Life

Typically, high school students have a best friend that is relatively the same age as them. Well, my best friend is a middle-aged man. My best friend is my dad. When I think of someone who has impacted my life, my mind immediately goes to him. I think about all the things I have told him that can only come from a certain amount of trust. When you share a decent amount of trust with someone, a bond seems to form, one unlike any other. A bond that makes a person your best friend. My dad is and always will be my best friend.

For as long as I can remember, basketball has been one of my dad’s favorite things. He would always talk about his teams, who they were going to play, and how well the competition would be. My dad has coached girls basketball for eleven years, ranging from coaching seventh grade to ninth grade. I have always admired how connected my dad was with his teams. When I would go to his games, I could see how much trust he had in his players and how much trust they had in him. While playing a school sport, it is guaranteed that there will be some amount of drama. Players would try to tear the team apart by fomenting drama or parents will be insatiable with their child’s playing time. I heard about all of this at home. I would hear about how frustrated my dad was getting because he heard a parent complaining to another parent about his coaching skills. It has always been hard seeing him get frustrated with these sorts of things because he doesn’t normally let the words of parents get under his skin. He rarely brings up what they say and he barely ever shows that he is paying attention to what they are saying.

My dad has always been the kind of guy to push me to be my absolute best. He’s not the kind of guy to let me get away with putting half of my effort into anything. At work, my dad is a manager. Well, the manager of his department. He comes home all the time talking about how his coworkers will make him so mad because they seem like they don’t even want to be there. My dad has always told me, “If you’re going to do anything, always leave it all out there.” My dad and I both get very frustrated with ourselves when something is not going the way we want it to. My dad has managed to find something he calls the Reset Button. When he presses the Reset Button, he moves on from whatever is bothering and upsetting him. This magical button has never helped me. Brief exchanges of looks between me and my dad have always seemed to be my Reset Button. When I am frustrated and I make eye contact with my dad, it is almost like an entire conversation happens in thirty seconds. I don’t know if my dad means for that to happen, but it does. The words he says by saying nothing always seemed conducive to me. Like I know that no matter what happens, he is always going to be proud of me.

I have always been a gullible person. You say something to me and I will believe it. I have a hard time with confrontation; therefore, I always believe the best in people and put all my trust in them. My dad; however, people have to earn his trust. When we have conversations about my gullibility, the conversation almost always ends with me in tears. My dad always tells me that if I continue to believe the best in people, they will always run me over. I have never really comprehended what he meant. I would hear what he said, and I’ve heard it multiple times, but I continue to put all my trust and believe the best in everyone. My dad has never told me why he continuously asks me to stop being so gullible. Maybe it was because he got hurt in the past believing people too much and he doesn’t want me to go through that same pain; however, I have never been able to ask him why.

Collecting sports cards has become an obsession of my dads. Taking up an entire room in our house to be exact. To spend time with my dad, I went to a card show with him. As we rode in the car, I realized I had no idea what to expect going into the building; however, the excitement on my dad’s face made the uneasiness disappear. As we walked up to the exposition center and through the halls, I could see the excitement flowing from him. If you were to compare my dad and a kid in a candy shop at that exact moment, I truly believe you wouldn’t be able to tell a difference. When we finally got to the part of the building that was holding the card show, the countless tables full of objects ranging from cards to signed shoes astounded me. My father; however, was tremendously comfortable with the crowded environment. He made his way through the tables speaking the card addict lingo and by the time we were walking out the door, he was leaving with exactly what he had gone in looking for.

Car rides are always my favorite when I am with my dad. The things we talk about are all over the place. When you get in the car, you never really know what is going to happen. We could talk about sports, college, drama, or even the things that go on at home. My dad has always been the parent I feel more comfortable going up and talking to. When in the car with my dad, I feel safe. I feel like I can say anything and know that he is going to listen. Most of the time, when I am stressed about school, I always find myself talking to him about it in the car. At times, it feels like I am just talking to myself, but when that happens, I know my dad is listening to every word I say. I would say my dad is a very observant person. He always wants you to say everything and have your full stance before he chimes in with another component.

While my dad can be straightforward, he is also one of the most humorous people I know. My dad will always try to make us laugh and it always brings a smile to the whole family. When my dad busts out his dance moves from back in the day, the amount of laughter that fills the room is astronomical. Or when he unleashes his vocals, that’s a household favorite. If one of us kids has a bad day at school, my dad will tell us a funny story from work. I wouldn’t say my dad is a people pleaser, but I think that when he truly wants to make someone’s day, he will find a way to make them smile. The amount of joy that my dad has in him seems to surprise some people. Some people will say that my dad is scary. When really, once you get to know him, he is a pretty exceptional guy.

My dad has always told me and my siblings that no matter what we decide to do in life, he will support us no matter what. The belief in knowing that my dad has my back has always been so reassuring to me. When I decided to no longer take part in a sport that I had been participating in for what seems like forever, I truly thought my dad was going to be frustrated with me. I didn’t want him to believe I was just giving up. When he wasn’t upset, it took me by surprise. It had made me feel like the love my dad had for me had overridden his love for the sport and that he just wanted me to be happy. My whole life, having my dad’s approval on everything has been so important to me. One of my biggest goals ever since I was little has been to make my dad proud. My dad has been understanding of every decision I have made. When I decided on my career path, I could see how proud I was making him. The approval of my parents when choosing where I want to go to college and what I want to do after has always been important to me. I know no matter what I choose to do, my dad will be there and be my biggest supporter and scream my name the loudest at either my accomplishments or at my failure. I know he will be proud I tried and he will always be there to pick me up if I fall.

Dad, you have been one of the most influential and impactful people in my life. You have made me see things from a different perspective. You have helped me get through things that I wouldn’t have been able to get through on my own. You have had conversations with me about things that are incredibly important to consider regarding my future. You are someone I feel like I can always go to, no matter the reason. You have made me laugh harder and more uncontrollably than anyone else. You have made me feel safe, and you have made me feel loved. Dad, I am so grateful for everything you have done for me. You are my forever best friend.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Hero — Someone Who Inspires Me

Essays About Someone Who Inspires Me

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The people i consider to be my heroes, reason why my mother is the person i admire the most, my hero: elon musk, why my role model is my mother, me hero: forensic expert henry chang-yu lee, the life and accomplishments of mother teresa, my hero: larry page, bo jackson: an american hero and legend in sports, oprah winfrey as a nowadays hero, who is your role model: my father's influence on my life, why jesus inspires me and other poeple, an entrepreneur i admire the most, my hero: timothy john 'tim' berners-lee, emma watson as my role model, ellen degeneres – a person who inspires me, my hero: michelle obama, my role model at work, my favorite tv presenter and why i admire her, kobe bryant - an example of genuine leader, relevant topics.

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Scholarship Essays

Winning Scholarship Essay Example on Influential Person

Who has been the most influential person in your life.

As we sped down the highway, the quiet and calming hum of the car seemed somehow at odds with the late-summer lushness of the Pennsylvania landscape. Without warning this quiet calm was shattered when my Uncle Alex yelled, “Firsts!”

“Uh, military railroads”, I mumbled, drawing myself out of a sleepy reverie.

“A working submarine”, Alex countered quickly.

“Hospital ships.”

“Flame throwers.”

Back and forth we went. We were playing one of our many Civil War word games. This one consisted of calling out all of the many things that the Civil War saw the first instance of. It was a great way to pass time when on a long road trip. I remember this particular trip with such clarity for two reasons. One was that we were on our way to visit Wheatland, the home of James Buchanan, a destination that I had been looking forward to for some time. The second reason is that the very next day was my birthday. I was turning eight.

I suppose for most children it would have seemed strange to be spending their birthday at the former home of a pre-Civil War president. To me it only seemed like a long-awaited treat. My Uncle Alex was an amateur Civil War historian with an infectious love of learning. Alex's sickness took the form of believing that late 19th century American history was more exciting and more worthy of our attention than any other period of human existence. It would prove to be an illness that soon held me under it's spell also. It all started when Alex bought me an Abraham Lincoln action figure for my 4th birthday. I remember unwrapping the gift paper, revealing the strange gaunt figure as my Uncle described to me in hushed tones who this man was and what he had done for our country. The real gift that Alex gave me over the years, however, was that he never acted as if it were odd for a young boy to have a keen interest in history. Because staying up late debating whether or not Stonewall Jackson was a hypochondriac was treated as perfectly normal, perfectly normal it became.

Looking back, I first remember thinking about what I would later realize was ethics or morals in relation to Robert E. Lee and his decision to support his home state of Virginia against the Union. My first contemplation of death took place after reading the correspondence of a young Union soldier who was shot and killed at Manassas before his younger bride ever received his letter. In short, my entire awareness has been shaped and influenced by my Uncle Alex's colorful pedagogy. I don't know what my life would have been without his influence but it certainly would have been different. I'm grateful that I shall never know.

Uncle Alex didn't just teach me about a period of history. He taught me about life. He taught me the power of opening young minds to the mystery of knowledge. Most importantly, he taught me how to live life with excitement and passion. They are lessons I shall never forget.

Original Source: Collegescholarships.com

An Essay about Someone Who Has Made an Impact on Your Life

Who has made a significant impact in your life and why? Essay on the topic might be challenging to write. One is usually asked to write such a text as a college admission essay.

A topic for this paper can be of your choice or pre-established by the institution. Either way, you may have to describe a person who influenced your life.

Here, we’ll tell you how to write about someone who had a huge impact on your life:

Learn story-telling techniques.
Choose the right person that affected you significantly.
Describe the representative situation in an engaging way.
Focus on yourself and the meaning of your journey.

However, it may not be enough to write about someone who had a great impact on your life. You should know some other peculiarities which we are going to discuss right now. Don’t forget that you can always find help here with any academic task.

📃 Writing about a Person Who Influenced You

Writing your essay about someone who has made an impact on your life starts with learning a few techniques. One of the main things you should know is that you will have to create a captivating story. Thus, you should know how to write personal narrative essays , some basic rules of story-telling.

Here is what you should keep in mind:

Tell a story. A great way to engage your audience is to say something in the form of a story. Human brain processes information better that way. With words and sensory details, you can create a mental image of the person you are describing.
Be personal. It can resemble composing an autobiography or memoir as you have to talk about your actual experience. There is nothing more moving than an individual story, so do not be afraid to open up in the reflective essay. Talk about the change you’ve experienced after meeting the person that influenced you.
Don’t be predictable. A good story needs some level of suspense. There are many ways in which it can be done. You can try to tell the story chronologically or go back in time and include flashbacks. Try to surprise your readers with an intriguing essay title.
Create a three-dimensional character. The focus of the story is not the sequence of events. It’s the character. Provide enough details and explain to the reader what makes that unusual.
Show instead of telling. It’s a core idea of good story-telling. By doing that, you invite the readers to the scene. For starters, try using dialogue instead of narration.
End on a positive note. Even if you had to face challenges, tell about a positive influence in your life. The biggest impact might be harmful, but it helped you grow nonetheless. Help the readers to see a piece of wisdom or a lesson you have learned.

Besides, we have listed some quick hints. With them, you’ll complete your essay on someone who has made a significant impact on your life and why successfully:

Someone’s impact that you can describe may be either positive or negative. A vast majority of essays written about influential persons speak positively about them. However, do not try to overidealize. It’s fair to talk about negative as much as about positive. A person that influenced you does not have to be likable or perfect. It is enough to recognize the positive qualities that made an impact on you. It will help the commission to see you as a thinking and just person.
Be as specific as possible. Describe a particular incident that explains this person’s impact on you. You have to describe the qualities of the person through the actual events that took place and the overall environment. However, remember that the story is also about you and how the person influenced you. Be specific about your growth and journey. The essay is the best way to demonstrate your thoughts and personality.
The main character of your essay might be someone you do not know personally. Stay truthful and honest to yourself. If someone who has made an impact on your life is a person you have never met, write about it. You could talk about your grandparent whose story you’ve heard or an author of your favorite book. Describe how a person that you’ve met on social media and the friendship with them changed you.

Whoever it is that inspired you, remember that the essay is also about you. It is not the best practice to talk about celebrities, though. You might appear as a fan and not as a thinker.

🎯 College Application Essay

Why are you writing paragraph after paragraph about the person who has made an impact on your life? If this essay is for some contest or is a part of the college application package, be careful.

We’ve gathered some tips on writing an application essay:

Construct a story. Every story should have a good beginning, a middle, and an end. The first paragraph should serve as an introduction to your information. At the same time, leave the last section for the conclusion. The middle part is where you describe the events in your account.
Outline it. To make every paragraph count, you should create an outline. It will help you to understand what you want to say in each particular moment in your story. As well as stay on track and coherently describe the incident in your essay.
Provide examples. They can help you prove your point and demonstrate your role model’s qualities. Instead of saying my father is a generous person, you can find an example in which he showed generosity. These parts should always lead back to you. The goal here is to show how their good conduct influenced your life decisions.
Be honest. Staying true to who you are is essential. Read successful college essay examples if you’re not sure about it. After all, the paper is not about the role model, but it is about the influence. Try to write something that will be creative and unique. Honesty is the key to reach your reader’s heart.
Ask someone to read it. Once you finish, ask a friend or a relative for their honest feedback. They can evaluate the content, the grammar, the readability, and the style. An independent reader can help you to improve all of these points.
Don’t include the prompt. Remember that the admissions committee will receive hundreds of essays on this subject. Do not repeat standard templates and writing prompts. Your goal is to stand out from the crowd, and the only way to do it is by writing something meaningful and personal.

Most importantly:

You will have a particular word limit. It means you need to be very precise and clear when writing your essay on the person who has had the greatest impact on your life. You should be able to express the main idea and explain the effects in 200 or even fewer words.

Tips on how to prepare “remembering a person” essays can also be useful for your task. Look up successful someone who has impacted your life essay examples as well.

Who Has Made a Significant Impact in Your Life & Why: Essay Example

Every person has a unique character that is formed under the impact of various factors. These include the environment, social status, financial status, and many other elements that play a vital role in the life of any individual. However, being social creatures, people are most of all impacted by other people as they since the first minutes of their lives, up to the last ones, they live in society and interact with its representatives.

People Who Influenced You: Essay Topics

Teacher’s influence on my personality .
Discuss how your teacher’s attitude influenced your desire to study.
Describe a teacher who had a negative impact on your zeal to learn the subject.
How the example of Henri Cartier-Bresson influenced my desire to become a photographer.
Parental influence on my life outcomes .
Explain how a conversation with happy spouses changed your views on marriage.
How James Brown influenced my dancing style.
Effect of an online friend on my life.
Analyze how the example and behavior of your parents influenced your character.
School bullies and their impact on my life.
Discuss the impact Disney cartoon characters had on your perception of gender roles.
Narrate how Maria Montessori work impacted your desire to become a teacher.
Describe how your vegetarian friend influenced you to change your eating habits .
Examine the role of your coach in your decision to take up football.
Role of influencers in American society .
How your Italian relatives impacted your view on family and your cultural values.
Discuss the way Aristotle’s understanding of ethics influences your ethical values.
Analyze the impact if your father’s beliefs on your career choice .
How meeting my best friend affected my life.
Teacher’s impact on my choice of career .
Why I think George Washington is a true hero : the impact of his personality on my life.
Describe how life and example of Florence Nightingale inspired you to become a nurse.
A fictional character that influenced my worldview.
My mother’s influence on my ideals of beauty .
Hayao Miyazaki and his influence on me .
How my uncle helped me to overcome my fear of riding a bicycle .
Write about a celebrity you consider a role model .
Why Steve Jobs’ story inspires me.
Discuss how your physical education teacher motivated you to take up a healthy lifestyle.
Describe the way Jane Austen influenced your love for reading.
Teacher’s impact on my personal life .
Analyze how the example of Greta Tunberg inspired you to become an environmental activist.
My friend helped me to overcome my fear and it changed my life.
Influence of Martin Luther King on my beliefs.
Why Roberto Clemente is my hero.
How superheroes affect modern society.
Examine how your favorite K-pop group influenced your personal style.
The role of my grandparents in building up my identity .
Impact of my parents on my self-confidence.
Explain how your mother’s example influenced your desire to enter a college.
The way Mother Theresa’s life and example changed my worldview.
A person who inspired my interest in Indian art .
Jay-Z’s biography and influence on me .
The role of my family in my decision to lead a healthy lifestyle .
Discuss how Jane Addams legacy influenced your resolution to become a social worker.
Why Helen Keller is a person I would like to resemble.
Analyze the role of Edgar Allan Poe in shaping your literature taste.
How the activities of Eleanor Roosevelt motivate me and a lot of other Americans.
Abraham Lincoln and his impact on my life .
Impact of my coach on my professional development and success.

Thank you for reading the article. We hope you found it helpful. Don’t hesitate to share it with your friends and peers. Leave your comments below, and good luck with your college admission essay!

The Most Influential Person In My Life Essay Sample

EssayEdge > Blog > The Most Influential Person In My Life Essay Sample

I met Erika two years ago. Erika grew up in a provincial Mexican town called Leon. According to the region’s conservative customs, women are expected to marry and serve their husbands. Practically all women there accept their fate; Erika is one notable exception. Rebelling against the constraints imposed on women, she risked social rejection by persuading her parents to let her study engineering in Mexico City. She hoped to influence people’s lives and become a well-rounded individual.

At that time, there were only two women studying engineering at the university. Professors didn’t expect a woman to become a good engineer and didn’t dedicate much time to her, so she had to put in twice the effort to obtain the same grades as her male classmates. She graduated with honors and decided to join P&G, where I met her. Very soon, her strong business vision and leadership skills earned her a fast Brand Manager promotion. However, she felt that P&G was not giving her all the skills needed to help people, so she enrolled in a London MBA program.

When she returned to P&G, she was promoted to Director. She had been planning to start a non-profit organization to help illiterate women when her mother was struck with cancer. Without a moment’s hesitation, she left her promising career to achieve her goal in life: helping others. She now spends half of each day taking care of her mom and the other half teaching illiterate women.

Erika has had a deep influence on me. What I most admire about her is her strong belief that we have the responsibility to help others become better persons. She lives according to this credo, which she has used as a guideline since she was very young. She has shown me the importance of attaining a balanced life and contributing to society while accumulating practical skills. Most recently, she has encouraged me to obtain an MBA, because it gave her the skills needed to complete her development and help others.

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EssayEdge is more than a PhD dissertation editing service. Students ask us to help them with papers required in admissions, and it’s a chance for our editors to showcase their skills. Besides it, we share writing guides and samples like this in the blog to help students find the right direction. Contact us to get top-notch editing assistance.

Common App. Topic- "Most influential person"?

Is it appropriate to use my math teacher as my most influential person if he is writing my letter of recommendation as well? Is that too many mentions of the same person?

He is my math team coach and basketball coach - I plan to talk about how he bridged the gap and went past stereotypes of the math team and made it a really significant extra-curricular in my life. yay or nay??

Thanks for your opinions!

bumppppppppppp please help,

In my opinion it’s fine as long as you just don’t repeat what he will write in your recommendation letter. Not sure how you will know that though. But in theory it sounds good!

Thanks :] So it won’t be weird that the same teacher pops up twice?? haha.

Hopefully, the letter would provide legitimacy to the essay (would provide legitimacy to the letter would…). It makes sense.

Sorry could you clarify?

The fact that you asked him for a letter demonstrates your confidence in him (and that he’s not just some teacher to you), and hopefully, he’ll have seen you change as a result of whatever specific thing you write about in your essay.

Oh yes, I’m sure that is the case :]. So you don’t think it’s weird if I talk about his influence on me if I already have him as my letter of rec. candidate correct? (Aka does it show I am trying to use my relationship with only one teacher too much??? no right?)

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Reflection: Dartmouth Essays That Worked

One writer looks back on her admissions process in light of the dartmouth’s new book, “50 dartmouth application essays that worked.”.

Five years ago, I began my Common Application essay with the following sentence: “To quote Ferris Bueller, ‘Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.’ I don’t intend to miss my life.” Half a decade later, those words still ring true.

Any college was taking a chance when they admitted a girl who quoted a film famous for encouraging students to play hooky. Not only did I open with this line, I hammered the point home as I described my disillusionment with valuing academic learning over personal experience — I was done running on the high school hamster wheel. When people ask me what essay got me into Dartmouth, I usually respond, “An essay about having a really fun summer.” While those words are true, there’s a deeper moral to the story — as incredible as Dartmouth’s academic resources are, and as academically rigorous as my high school had been, I wanted to learn outside of the classroom, to learn by doing, to learn from my friends. “As much as I value my academic identity and as far as my passion for learning goes, my interpersonal relationships teach me just as much,” I wrote.

I was honestly surprised when Dartmouth accepted me in April 2020. I had been deferred early decision, and the last student who had gotten into Dartmouth from my public Florida high school was a cross-country recruit in 2016. Like tens of thousands of high school seniors, I had the grades, test scores and extracurriculars, but I was full of self-doubt. I was also completely burnt out. Was I really “Ivy League material”? I certainly didn’t feel it. Looking over my statistics, I was just another data point. Not Ellie Anderson, but applicant 8,677.

My “Why Dartmouth?” and supplement essays allowed me to make my case. I crafted three versions of the former, and I could have kept going. I labored over my words carefully, drafting response after response, but it was challenging only having 250 words to respond, in some form, to a prompt that every Dartmouth applicant has read: “It is, Sir … a small college. And yet, there are those who love it!” Other than the encouraging words and flamboyant edits from my high school English teacher, I didn’t know if they were any good. Where to begin …

I would have loved to understand what makes an admissions essay compelling when I was in the throes of applying to college. Recently, The Dartmouth published “50 Dartmouth Application Essays That Worked,” a compilation of successful admissions essays. Looking through this collection, I felt like I was stepping back into my 17-year-old self. The selection includes essays featuring many of the qualities Dartmouth seems to be looking for in its students, or at least those I’ve found in my friends: compassion, curiosity, humility and a collaborative spirit.

The book opens with essays about environment and nature before progressing to the expected categories: academic interest, arts, heritage, identity, sports and, of course, “miscellaneous.”

A few stories grabbed me for their honesty, especially one that begins, “I have a complicated relationship with the truth.” I was hooked — it was real and raw. Her father suffers from bipolar disorder even though, to the outside world, nothing appears to be wrong. She has a secret too — she’s seeing a girl. How is one supposed to apply to college when their entire world is being torn apart, “standing in the middle of the bridge and setting fire to both ends,” as she says. But she learns a valuable lesson — to live her own truth, not anyone else’s.

When I was applying to colleges, I was given the following advice: “Don’t make your admissions essay a sob story.” But this essay certainly isn’t a pity party, which proves you can be honest and address your difficulties in the span of a few hundred words. These kinds of essays instead place their writers’ most beautiful strengths and flaws on full display.

Another such essay begins, “My feet live in infamy.” Yes, you can write your Common Application essay about your gnarled and calloused feet. Although the story begins with an anecdote of “ugly” feet, it becomes so much more — a toe-centric reflection. As the writer’s skin became thicker, she found her voice as well. She comes out of her shell in high school, learning to speak up after several tumultuous adolescent years as an introvert. By the end, she’s finally ready to bear her infamous feet and use her voice.

A deep current of intellectual curiosity runs across the essays, too. I laughed when I read a story about an applicant playing Super Mario Bros on a childhood road trip. The writer makes an in-game blunder, sending Mario hurdling into a turtle. “It was then that the terrible realization that curled my six-year-old toes hit me: Mario would return to play again, but when I die, I will not,” they said. What could have been a decade-long existential spiral instead drove the writer to philosophy and math, where they found solace in understanding the world rather than cowering at the unknown.

These writers are brave — both for sharing their stories to the black-box admissions panel and for allowing us readers a peek years later. On a campus where we often interact in passing “Hey, what’s up”-isms, reading the diverse selection of essays has grounded me once more in an understanding of what makes Dartmouth, Dartmouth. Students here are radically courageous in their quests for knowledge, acts of kindness and pursuits of greatness. In these essays, 650 words no longer looks limiting but becomes the etchings of a beautiful cohort.

After re-reading my own essay alongside those published, it struck me. As a 17-year-old sending off a piece of yourself to a nebulous online portal, it can be difficult to envision your future — your story is a moment in time caught in between all that you’ve been and all that you hope to become. I’m asking myself this question again as I look forward to my senior year at Dartmouth and re-read my ambitions and fears from the essay I penned in 2019. It’s been a lot of laughing at my naïvete, cringing at a heavy-handed application of adjectives and finding pride in my values.

Not only is this book a tool for Dartmouth applicants, but it’s a time capsule from the Class of 2023 to the Class of 2026, whose essays are included. This is who we were at 17. Looking back at my essay, so much has changed between now and then. How could it have not? But I see the seeds of who I’ve become in my essay, like an incantation: “I learn to understand others and to understand myself.”

Graduate student reported missing

Looking back at recent unionization efforts at the College

A history of financial aid at Dartmouth

Dsg fails vote of no confidence in college leadership, beilock: college president apologizes for community harm, letter to the editor: we dartmouth faculty members support the recent actions by college president sian leah beilock, individuals arrested at the may 1 protest share their experiences, letter to the editor: statement from dartmouth’s jewish organizations.

The Dartmouth

Your Best College Essay

Maybe you love to write, or maybe you don’t. Either way, there’s a chance that the thought of writing your college essay is making you sweat. No need for nerves! We’re here to give you the important details on how to make the process as anxiety-free as possible.

student's hands typing on a laptop in class

What's the College Essay?

When we say “The College Essay” (capitalization for emphasis – say it out loud with the capitals and you’ll know what we mean) we’re talking about the 550-650 word essay required by most colleges and universities. Prompts for this essay can be found on the college’s website, the Common Application, or the Coalition Application. We’re not talking about the many smaller supplemental essays you might need to write in order to apply to college. Not all institutions require the essay, but most colleges and universities that are at least semi-selective do.

How do I get started?

Look for the prompts on whatever application you’re using to apply to schools (almost all of the time – with a few notable exceptions – this is the Common Application). If one of them calls out to you, awesome! You can jump right in and start to brainstorm. If none of them are giving you the right vibes, don’t worry. They’re so broad that almost anything you write can fit into one of the prompts after you’re done. Working backwards like this is totally fine and can be really useful!

What if I have writer's block?

You aren’t alone. Staring at a blank Google Doc and thinking about how this is the one chance to tell an admissions officer your story can make you freeze. Thinking about some of these questions might help you find the right topic:

What is something about you that people have pointed out as distinctive?
If you had to pick three words to describe yourself, what would they be? What are things you’ve done that demonstrate these qualities?
What’s something about you that has changed over your years in high school? How or why did it change?
What’s something you like most about yourself?
What’s something you love so much that you lose track of the rest of the world while you do it?

If you’re still stuck on a topic, ask your family members, friends, or other trusted adults: what’s something they always think about when they think about you? What’s something they think you should be proud of? They might help you find something about yourself that you wouldn’t have surfaced on your own.

How do I grab my reader's attention?

It’s no secret that admissions officers are reading dozens – and sometimes hundreds – of essays every day. That can feel like a lot of pressure to stand out. But if you try to write the most unique essay in the world, it might end up seeming forced if it’s not genuinely you. So, what’s there to do? Our advice: start your essay with a story. Tell the reader about something you’ve done, complete with sensory details, and maybe even dialogue. Then, in the second paragraph, back up and tell us why this story is important and what it tells them about you and the theme of the essay.

THE WORD LIMIT IS SO LIMITING. HOW DO I TELL A COLLEGE MY WHOLE LIFE STORY IN 650 WORDS?

Don’t! Don’t try to tell an admissions officer about everything you’ve loved and done since you were a child. Instead, pick one or two things about yourself that you’re hoping to get across and stick to those. They’ll see the rest on the activities section of your application.

I'M STUCK ON THE CONCLUSION. HELP?

If you can’t think of another way to end the essay, talk about how the qualities you’ve discussed in your essays have prepared you for college. Try to wrap up with a sentence that refers back to the story you told in your first paragraph, if you took that route.

SHOULD I PROOFREAD MY ESSAY?

YES, proofread the essay, and have a trusted adult proofread it as well. Know that any suggestions they give you are coming from a good place, but make sure they aren’t writing your essay for you or putting it into their own voice. Admissions officers want to hear the voice of you, the applicant. Before you submit your essay anywhere, our number one advice is to read it out loud to yourself. When you read out loud you’ll catch small errors you may not have noticed before, and hear sentences that aren’t quite right.

ANY OTHER ADVICE?

Be yourself. If you’re not a naturally serious person, don’t force formality. If you’re the comedian in your friend group, go ahead and be funny. But ultimately, write as your authentic (and grammatically correct) self and trust the process.

And remember, thousands of other students your age are faced with this same essay writing task, right now. You can do it!

Viola V. Madsen

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‘The Very Real Insanity of College Admissions’

Readers offer suggestions and personal stories in response to two guest essays.

An illustration showing a single seat in the middle of a classroom and a crowd of people scrambling to get to it.

To the Editor:

Re “ 2024 Was the Year That Finally Broke College Admissions ,” by Daniel Currell (Opinion guest essay, May 5):

While Mr. Currell effectively lays out the current admissions climate, the sunny last-minute outcomes for the two applicants he follows undermine his otherwise valid critiques.

While Ivy was rejected by her early decision school, she was admitted to her second choice, Dartmouth, an Ivy with a 6 percent acceptance rate. Rania, though disappointed with her Barnard rejection, also found herself a terrific outcome at Wesleyan, another highly acclaimed school, with a free ride to boot.

Both of these outcomes are extreme positive outliers these days. Convincing families to temper these kinds of expectations and consider in-state public institutions for cost reasons as well as excellent but more far-flung liberal arts colleges (such as the College of Wooster in rural Ohio) is the task at hand these days.

Following two applicants who actually had to make significant compromises would have more accurately encapsulated the reality check that college-bound kids and parents need in the face of the very real insanity of college admissions these days.

Jamie Berger Turners Falls, Mass. The writer is an independent educational consultant.

After temporarily settling in the U.S., my high schooler fell in love with the idea of the small liberal arts school. She was lucky to have the support of a counselor who constantly affirmed her self-worth, and was admitted to one of her top schools. The process was stressful, and the result is not pain-free; it will require serious lifestyle changes to be able to afford it.

Coming from the Netherlands, where a reputable university education is still quite accessible for about $2,700 in annual tuition for domestic and E.U. students, I find the system here insane at every level — in its lack of transparency, in privileging the privileged and in through-the-roof costs.

In this land of the free market, the author is right: The college admission process needs scrutiny and accountability. And even a measure of regulation.

Blanche Tax Queens

The most remarkable aspect of Daniel Currell’s piece on admissions to selective colleges is the rare mention of the quality of education, such as the concession that we might “shift our cultural focus toward the hundreds of schools that offer an excellent education but are not luxury brands.”

The education quality offered at those hundreds of schools is often no less than that of the so-called “elite” schools. And that quality is less likely to be influenced by big-money donors.

Mr. Currell has made it clear that the brand, and not the education, is what has become important. Students are going to school not to learn, but to get a badge. And they carry that attitude throughout life.

External displays become more important than interior satisfaction with genuine accomplishment and contribution. The real problem is the very notion of elitism. Why do we want to train people to be snobs? To what end?

Joel Solow Newark, N.J.

I would like to point out one omission in an otherwise interesting article regarding higher education admissions: Much of the breakdown of the admissions process is due to the substantial increase in the number of applications that students submit.

For example, the Common Application reports that the number of college applications increased by 39 percent between 2019 and 2023 (the number of applicants also increased, by 28 percent).

When I applied to college in the late 1950s, students typically applied to three or so colleges (including a stretch school like the Ivies, a safe school like a state college and something in between). This was also the case when my children applied to college in the late 1970s and early 1980s.

But this past year, my grandchildren could apply to up to 20 colleges via the Common Application (although on average students apply to around six colleges). This greatly increases the number of applications that college admissions officers needed to consider.

It was increases in the number of applications that students submitted that contributed to the breakdown.

Marlaine Lockheed Princeton, N.J.

Daniel Currell’s essay catalogs the problems, but offers no solution. A year ago, before my son knew he would be among the more than 100,000 applicants rejected from his dream school (U.C.L.A.), he was looking at the required classes and asked, “Why can’t I just study what I want to study?” “You can,” I answered. “Go to school in the U.K.”

My son had bad grades in classes that didn’t interest him, and was generally unsuccessful applying to U.S. colleges. But he is brilliant, and managed top scores on eight Advanced Placement exams. He got several offers from U.K. colleges, and is now at University College London, which is regularly ranked among the top in the world.

U.K. universities are considerably more costly for international students than for U.K. ones. But for students who are good at studying, they are an excellent alternative to the U.S. beauty contest.

Wayne Camard Palo Alto, Calif.

Re “ The Best College Is One Where You Don’t Fit In ,” by Michael S. Roth (Opinion guest essay, nytimes.com, May 5):

For students who have had a comfortable and fulfilling K-12 social life, going to a more diverse and socially uncomfortable setting is indeed a good choice. But for the many adolescents who have struggled to find their tribe, choosing a college where they can finally develop a strong social network is critical.

Katharine H. McVeigh New York

If you have a mind to drink less, mindfulness can help

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CU Boulder researchers find that body-scanning and ‘urge surfing’ appear to help people cut down how much alcohol they drink

Mindfulness is having a moment, but is it worth all the hype? Researchers at CU’s Center for Health and Neuroscience, Genes, and Environment ( CUChange ) say the answer is yes—particularly when it comes to drinking behavior.

A team including Carillon Skrzynski , a faculty research associate at CUChange, recently published research building on the growing body of evidence suggesting mindfulness plays a significant role in influencing alcohol use.

Their research found that mindfulness techniques including intentional awareness of what’s happening and non-judgmental acceptance of whatever that may be helped reduce cravings for alcohol.

Carillon Skrzynski, a faculty research associate at CUChange, is part of a research team that found evidence suggesting mindfulness plays a significant role in influencing alcohol use.

Alcohol: a growing problem

For many, alcohol is a normal part of life. At the same time, the number of deaths in which alcohol is a significant contributing factor has risen sharply in recent years. Between 2020 and 2021, the number of alcohol-related deaths in the United States increased by 29%, as compared to data from 2016-17, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Data also show that one in six Americans binge drinks, with a quarter doing so every week.

If alcohol is so bad for our health, why is it so hard to stop drinking to excess, and what can we do to make it easier to cut down or stop? Skrzynski has been fascinated by these questions since her undergraduate days as a psychology major at the University of Michigan.

While studying substance abuse in her introduction to psychology class, Skrzynski was struck by both the prevalence of substance abuse disorders and their far-reaching negative effects. “I remember being extremely curious about why people are engaging in substance abuse when it’s obviously disrupting their lives in really deleterious ways,” she says.

“When I found out psychology researchers were exploring this question in systematic ways to try to help people with addiction issues, I remember thinking, ‘That’s really cool. I want to be part of that process.’”

After graduating from the University of Michigan, she earned her PhD in psychology at Carnegie Mellon University before arriving at CU Boulder to continue her quest to pinpoint the variables that contribute to the development and maintenance of addictive behavior.

The power of mindfulness

Skrzynski’s team’s recent research suggests mindfulness may be a simple but powerful way to cultivate a healthier relationship with alcohol. Led by Kent Hutchison , one of the founding directors of CUChange and professor of psychiatry at CU Anschutz, the researchers designed a study to compare the effectiveness of mindfulness-based relapse prevention versus standard relapse prevention, in which they randomly assigned nearly 200 participants to one of the two groups.

The results, which were published in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, suggest that mindfulness helped participants decrease their drinking. While participants in both groups experienced an initial reduction in the number of days they engaged in heavy drinking, at the 20-week and 32-week follow ups, the improvements remained stable for the mindfulness group but diminished for the standard treatment group.

Their research also suggested even slight increases in mindfulness had the potential to reduce alcohol cravings, findings that were published in Psychology of Addictive Behavior .

“The takeaway here is that mindfulness can be a really useful tool in reducing drinking, or maybe even quitting entirely,” says CU Boulder researcher Carillon Skrzynski.

“The takeaway here is that mindfulness can be a really useful tool in reducing drinking, or maybe even quitting entirely,” says Skrzynski. And while this idea isn’t necessarily groundbreaking, it’s nonetheless important.

“Most researchers would agree that mindfulness does have great utility in this endeavor,” she says. “But the more supporting evidence you have, the stronger the case.”

How to be more mindful

Mindfulness consists of two essential components, says Skrzynski. “One, being intentionally aware of what’s happening, and, two, non-judgmental acceptance of whatever that may be.” To bring more mindfulness into your day, you can try a couple of the techniques the researchers taught the mindfulness group.

The first is body scanning, which, as the name implies, involves slowly and sequentially checking in with each part of your body, from your head to your toes and noticing how it feels.

The second, urge surfing, means noticing when you have a craving (in this case, for alcohol), and instead of having a drink, allowing yourself to experience the craving, knowing that at some point the strength of the urge will peak, at which point it will begin to decline.

“Both techniques involve awareness and acceptance of whatever is happening that you’re not trying to push it away,” says Skrzynski, adding that it’s a powerful tool no matter what you’re dealing with. “Although my research focuses on addiction, the truth is, mindfulness can be transformative in so many life domains.”

Angela Bryan , a CU Boulder professor of psychology and neuroscience, also contributed to the research.

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Sample Essays: Influential Person
Sample Essays: Influential Person. Updated August 5, 2020 | Infoplease Staff. Â. Please select from the following sample application essays: Essay 1: Wellesley | Essay 2: Harvard | Essay 3: Harvard. Note: The following essays were not edited by EssayEdge Editors. They appear as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.
How to Write Influential Person Essay
Essay Tip #2-The "Influential Person" Essay. Mark Montgomery. August 4, 2011. Many college applications, including The Common Application , ask an essay question about "the most influential person in your life". Why, or how, that person influenced you. A key tip to answering this essay is to remember that it is not necessarily about whom ...
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Whatever your answer, bring the influential person to life for your interviewer. Avoid vague generalities. As with an admissions essay on an influential person, you'll want to provide colorful, entertaining, and specific examples of how the person has influenced you. Also, keep in mind that a strong answer provides a window into your life and ...
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Keep in mind that a person can have a significant influence without having an entirely "positive" influence. Jill's essay, for example, focuses on a woman with only a few positive qualities. You could even write about someone who is abusive or hateful. Evil can have as much "influence" on us as good. 06.
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The Most Important and Influential People of The Colonial and Romantic Period. 1 page / 554 words. Ten most important people or influential people are John Smith, Benjamin Franklin, Thomas Paine, Fredrick Douglas, Edgar Allan Poe, Washington Irving, Hennery Schoolcraft, Noah Webster, Jonathan Edwards, Anne Brad sheet These are all important ...
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November 2, 2022. When brainstorming topics for your college essay, you've probably considered writing about a person who has influenced or inspired you-a parent or grandparent, a sibling, a teacher, or another significant figure in your life. You may be writing an essay of your own design or responding to the fourth prompt on this year's ...
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Focus Your Essay. As in any essay, when writing about an influential person in your life you should include a thesis statement. In this case, the thesis statement declares how or why this person has influenced you life. For example, if writing about your soccer coach, you may write, "Through his advice and the example of his character, my ...
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Jill writes about a person who had a significant influence on her. Her response works well for Common Application essay option #5: "Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others." As you read the essay, note how it is about much more than the woman who ...
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Or write about a completely ordinary person who somehow inspired you. 5. Significant influence doesn't mean a positive influence. Most essays about an influential person focus on role models (parents, teachers, coaches, etc.). Writing about people who had a positive influence on you is good, but such an approach is also predictable.
Most Influential Person in My Life: Essay
Most Influential Person in My Life: Essay. This essay sample was donated by a student to help the academic community. Papers provided by EduBirdie writers usually outdo students' samples. Everyone needs to be inspired, and inspiring others can only have positive effects. They can be the people that surround us in an everyday life.
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Personal Essay Example: The Most Influential and Impactful People in My Life. Typically, high school students have a best friend that is relatively the same age as them. Well, my best friend is a middle-aged man. My best friend is my dad. When I think of someone who has impacted my life, my mind immediately goes to him.
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There are a few unnecessary words here and there. For example, "It is for this reason that I can proudly say that my mother is the most influential person in my life.". I'd suggest rewording this to, "That's why my mother is the most influential person in my life.". The closing is good, but a bit abrupt. Overall, the applicant does ...
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Read successful college essay examples if you're not sure about it. After all, the paper is not about the role model, but it is about the influence. ... Tips for an Admissions Essay on an Influential Person: Allen Grove, ThoughtCo; 7 Storytelling Techniques Used by the Most Inspiring TED Presenters: Nayomi Chibana, Visme;
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MBA Samples. EssayEdge > Blog > The Most Influential Person In My Life Essay Sample. Updated: April 8, 2024. I met Erika two years ago. Erika grew up in a provincial Mexican town called Leon. According to the region's conservative customs, women are expected to marry and serve their husbands. Practically all women there accept their fate ...
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Is it appropriate to use my math teacher as my most influential person if he is writing my letter of recommendation as well? Is that too many mentions of the same person? He is my math team coach and basketball coach - I plan to talk about how he bridged the gap and went past stereotypes of the math team and made it a really significant extra-curricular in my life. yay or nay??</p ...
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Reflection: Dartmouth Essays That Worked
I would have loved to understand what makes an admissions essay compelling when I was in the throes of applying to college. Recently, The Dartmouth published "50 Dartmouth Application Essays That Worked," a compilation of successful admissions essays. Looking through this collection, I felt like I was stepping back into my 17-year-old self.
Your Best College Essay
What's the College Essay? When we say "The College Essay" (capitalization for emphasis - say it out loud with the capitals and you'll know what we mean) we're talking about the 550-650 word essay required by most colleges and universities. Prompts for this essay can be found on the college's website, the Common Application, or the ...
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Most Influential Person College Essay - 2269 Chestnut Street, #477 San Francisco CA 94123. Level: College, University, High School, Master's, PHD, Undergraduate. ... Receive your essay and breathe easy, because now you don't have to worry about missing a deadline or failing a course.
Opinion
Wayne Camard Palo Alto, Calif.. To the Editor: Re "The Best College Is One Where You Don't Fit In," by Michael S. Roth (Opinion guest essay, nytimes.com, May 5): For students who have had a ...
If you have a mind to drink less, mindfulness can help
Mindfulness is having a moment, but is it worth all the hype? Researchers at CU's Center for Health and Neuroscience, Genes, and Environment say the answer is yes—particularly when it comes to drinking behavior.A team including Carillon Skrzynski, a faculty research associate at CUChange, recently published research building on the growing body of evidence suggesting mindfulness plays a ...