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Band 6 “Past The Shallows” HSC Essay

English: standard english- unit 3, high school - australia.

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Preview text, human experiences are varied and differ for each individual. evaluate the ways that ’past the, shallows’ represents human experiences in powerful ways..

To be human involves having choices, a purpose and desires that shape our beliefs, attitudes and perspectives that ultimately forge our identity thus, giving meaning to our human existence and the way we interact with the world, by sharing our own experiences through storytelling, to become aware of ourselves. Striving for connection and belonging is an innate human need that helps individuals to survive complex human experiences of adversity. Through the power of storytelling, composers provide the impetus for an imaginative and vicarious journey that paradoxically moves us simultaneously both outwardly and inwardly to reveal eternal and paradoxical truths. This is masterfully demonstrated in Favel Parrett’s intriguing Bildungsroman novel “Past the Shallows”, which explores these universal truths through conveying the triumph of the human spirit, through the collective and individualised experiences of brother’s will to survive the father’s cruel abuse in a dysfunctional family to explore taboo aspects of the human condition. Furthermore, Parrett intentionally exposes the paradox of relationships, as the audience are positioned to see the strength of the bond of brotherhood in the face of destructive and traumatic experiences through her unique characterisation which explores human flaws (harmartia). Furthermore, Parrett powerfully inspects grief and loss, exploring the various ways that people cope with adversity, leading to acceptance and rebirth**.** Parrett effectively challenges our ideologies and assumptions on the monstrosity of our human nature, by portraying that humanity is also bouyed by moments of joy and acceptance, in the face of adversity. Ultimately, she conveys humanities resilience through the power of storytelling.

The strength of brotherhood provides motivation, through destructive and traumatic experience, exploring the bitter paradox of relationships which can be detrimental, enabling us to survive hardship. Through compelling storytelling and the focalisation of Harry and Miles, Parrett challenges us to see the triumph of the human spirit, through the brother’s will to survive, despite the father’s cruel abuse creating a dysfunctional family. Parret intentionally challenges the readers to reevaluate and view the vitality of connectedness with others. As a result of his difference Harry is at first symbolised as isolated, much like the broader setting of Bruny island, a metaphor for the character's isolation. Through the metaphor “ They washed up in surf sometimes, the lost ones” Parrett skilfully foreshadows Harry as an anomaly, highlighting the inconsistencies of relationships, as though he is part of a family unit he feels ostracised as a result of dad’s destructive behaviour. Through the high modal declarative statement “You’ll bloody drink it” the reader is positioned to see the dysfunctional relationship between Harry and the Dad, illustrating the toxic masculinity reflected in the failed parent figure. Thus Parrett highlights the complexity of and fragility of relationships, yet paradoxically showing the inconsistencies in human behaviour, motivations and emotion, highlighting the ideology that not everybody has positive intentions. Through the multifaceted and inconsistent nature of the ocean, deliberately shown through the pathetic fallacy of “ocean breathing ”, Parrett mirrors human behaviors, emotions and motivations to reveal the inconsistencies of our interactions with others and how they shape our life outcomes. Thus, through the focalisation of Miles and Harry, Parrett illustrates humanity's need for companionship and a sense of belonging in order to survive adversities by finding comfort and stability through other sources. The strength of the bond of brotherhood is a beacon of resilience in surviving the father’s physical absue as Mile’s inclusive language “ We’ll be alright” exposes the importance of connection to others- that ultimately frees them. Moreover, positive connotations conveyed in the cyclical ending “ To somewhere warm to somewhere new” When Miles and Harry are succumbing to the ocean’s wrath, Parett purposefully explores these gratifying connections between the brothers, as when Miles feel the warmth of the metaphorical fire it is a bonding moment full of unconditional love. Ultimately, Parrett conveys the strength of brotherhood, in times of destructive and traumatic experience. Through her role as a storyteller she challenges us to see the need for human connection, for us to survive.

Futhermore, complex and challenging human experiences provide opportunities for individuals to achieve self- realisation and become resilient, if they are able to learn from their past experiences. We, as individuals, navigate this complex world through engaging storytelling, by sharing experiences through connection, challenging us as individuals to make sense of our world. Through her storytelling, Parrett purposefully explores that we, as individuals, are challenged to become resilient despite adversity, through the collective human experience of wanting to survive the hardships of life. Parett masterfully uses symbolism to illustrate that our human experiences may be unpredictable, but we must learn to overcome challenges, shown through the extended metaphor of the shark “ The three pups ... trying to swim against the mothers blood” showing the

intentional correlation to the mother and the three sons, and the struggle of grief and loss that ultimately shows the brothers reaction of struggling to live in this complex world of grief. This shows us that despite adversity we are able to survive. Throughout our lives, we will encounter challenges and obstacles, Parrett intentionally exploring the human frailty and vulnerability that must be overcome to survive the inconsistencies in lifet hrough the power of storytelling , as the bildungroman genre shows the growth and development of the characters. Through the focalisation of Harry’s assertive tone “I’m not scared anymore” she highlights the transitioning and acceptance, by overcoming the fathers abusive behaviour and Harry finding his true identity informing us that overcoming grief and loss, promotes growth both physically and mentally ushering change for a new perspective. Through seeing hope, the audience is challenged to witness positive moments in destructive and traumatic situations challenging us to become resilient. This is explored in the cyclical nature of her narrative structure conveying a positive shift in the character’s perspective in the truncated sentences “to somewhere warm, To somewhere new, ”intentionally focusing on the renewal and rebirth, of Miles’ perceptiveness leading him towards acceptance. Additionally, Parrett’s symbolism “ Out past the shallows” in the opening prologue encompasses the growth and wellbeing of an individual's experience. This metaphorical connotation encapsulates the notions of one’s past , the ability of one’s self to be challenged and motivated to move out beyond their comfort zone to ‘deeper water.’. Therefore, Parett as a storyteller purposefully unites people by sharing human experiences to make sense of our complex world. By overcoming adversity and becoming resilient, further showing the triumph of our human spirit through the human condition.

In Addition, Grief and Loss is what makes us human ultimately shaping our behaviours, motivations and emotions inturn, our individual identities. This allows us to grow, and become vulnerable allowing us to change the way we see and communicate with the wider world be refreshed and open to new experiences. As a storyteller, Parrett intentionally explores Grief and Loss as a collective human experience, to allow people to share experiences by uniting and coping with their own. Humans ulimately struggle with coping with grief and loss for example, the juxtaposition between Dad and Miles. Dad copes with anger and abuse whilst, Miles cries as seen in the aftermath of Harry’s death. Parrett intentionally explores that with Grief and Loss comes accpectance, these various coping methods as result of human experiences and emotions, are indeed what makes us human. The Truncated syntax and cyclical ending “ To somewhere warm. Somewhere” purposefully encompassing the deeper intimate emotional reaction that Miles, experiences; as he accepts his past and is ready to move on to a new beginning, creating a subdued moment of tenderness between Miles and the reader, and through his journey of acceptance it also shows us that by better understanding our past, we often better understand ourselves and our identities. As Miles is open to new experiences, as a result of Harry’s death by moving out of Cloudly bay, as he is free to explore the world, escaping the abusive dad, and the island. This allows the character development as Miles is “free” both mentally and physically. As a collective human experience we are forced to acknowledge grief and loss in order, to feel liberated and free through Miles allowing himself to grief the loss of Harry to his brother, Joe and himself transforming into the role of a storyteller as he experiences Catharsis, to survive his trauma shown in third person omniscient “ He let himself cry”. As individuals we are shaped by grief and loss, as we are driven to share our experience with others to feel closure and free, Stories allow us to share experiences. Thus, as storytellers sharing experiences allows us to grow and accept the truth. Parrett intentionally challenges us to share our own experiences and stories, to bond and unite with others through Miles’ experience with Joe promoting self-realisation and acceptance within ourselves, making us connected with our identities, making us human intentionally explores human experiences, by challenging us as individuals to share our own stories and experiences to feel accepted and free, allowing us to bond and unite with other storytellers to feel free and resilient to life’s obstacles. We are challenged to see and acknowledge that we as humans are storytellers, with stories that explore what it means to be human ultimately, being shaped by our behaviors, emotions and motivations.

Through unrevoled past and the intrusion of the present the strength of brotherhood provides motivation, in destructive and traumatic experience, paradox of relationships which can be detrimental, enabling us to survive hardship. Through compelling storytelling and the focalisation of Harry and Miles, Parrett challenges us to see the triumph of the human spirit, through the brother’s will to survive, despite the father’s cruel abuse due to supressed grief and loss from the of the mother, creating a dysfunctional family. Parret intentionally challenges

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Subject : English: Standard English- Unit 3

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HSC English Band 6 Discovery Essay [Free Essay]

An exemplar Band 6 Discovery Essay to show you what you need to produce to ace your Paper One.

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Vce english units 3 & 4.

You need to see what a Band 6 Discovery essay looks like before you can write your own. That’s why we’ve included one below.

We recommend reading it carefully and breaking down what it does so successfully. How is the introduction structured? How does the student analyse evidence? And how do they bring it all together in the conclusion? Once you’re finished, apply the strategies you uncover to your own AOS: Discovery essays. We also have a detailed overview of how to write creatives in our Our Beginner’s Guide to Acing HSC English – Part 6: Writing Creatives .

Essay Question

‘an individual’s experience of discovery is determined by their context.’ to what extent is this statement reflected in your prescribed text and one text of your own choosing, band 6 discovery essay.

The unique context of an individual is what defines their process of discovery and in so doing, shapes their perspectives on interpersonal relationships, personal identity and existential outlook. These ideas are exemplified in both Robert Gray’s poems, Diptych and The Meatworks , and Matthew Thorne’s short film, Where Do Lilacs Come From . We see in these texts that discovery can only take place when our context challenges us, whether it is a change in context or the confronting nature of situational context itself. Only then can transformation occur.

The contexts in which the interpersonal relationships of an individual take place are what fuel discoveries to occur. In Gray’s Diptych , elements of the persona’s family life are embedded throughout, in particular the ongoing tension between the persona and his father. The father’s dialogue, “Nothing whingeing. Nothing by New York Jews; / nothing by women,” provides insight into the personality and character of the father. The anaphoric repetition of the harsh, despairing “nothing” portrays the father in his limited relationship with the persona, denoting the disconnect between the two and the persona’s negative perceptions of his father as a result. However, the transformative powers of context are revealed after the character experiences the death of his father. It is only after this event that he discovers newfound feelings towards his father and reconsiders their past relationship.  His death provokes a newfound acceptance and nostalgic fondness within the persona. The accident, “my pocket knife slid / sideways and pierced my hand – and so I dug with that one / into his ashes,” is central to the persona’s final emotional discovery. The mixing of his blood and his father’s ashes symbolically unifies the two, highlighting the change in perspective that has occurred with this change in context. Therefore, it can be argued that an individual only truly discovers his feelings towards others when their relationship is challenged by a change in context. The experience of loss following the death of his father caused Gray’s persona to reflect upon their past relationship and in doing so, he discovers feelings of clarity and acceptance that replaced past feelings of resentment and hostility. In other words, contextual experience has the potential to re-determine one’s interpersonal relationships.

Similarly, Matthew Thorne’s film Where Do Lilacs Come From explores the transformative powers of context. Much like Gray’s Diptych , Thorne depicts a change in context, in particular one that challenges an individual’s personal beliefs, as a fast catalyst to self-discovery. The film follows Chris, an elderly man with Alzheimer’s disease, as he struggles with the strain his condition places on his relationship with his son, Michael. This is symbolised by the reoccurring large spaces which separate the two characters in each frame, implying their emotional disconnect. A tracking shot of Chris chasing his younger self down a long, brightly lit corridor symbolises his desire to rediscover his lost memories. The responder is able to gauge from this Chris’ perspective on his condition. Senility is a burden on his identity. However, at the end of the film Michael discovers he is able to reconnect with his father by showing him home movies. The movies, displayed as hand-held camera footage with a muted colour palette evoke the same sentiment of nostalgic fondness that changed the persona’s perspective in Gray’s in Diptych . The restorative experience of bonding is shown by a return to the metaphor of distance as the space between two characters is breached and the pair embrace. Not only does this show the characters re-discovering their love for each other, but the discovery they are still able to bond is a revelation within itself, one that allows Chris to view his Alzheimer’s in a new context. He is able to challenge and transform his personal beliefs of his condition, coming to terms with his ageing as he rediscovers hope. Therefore, not only can a physical change in context shed new light on interpersonal relationships, but the way in which an individual contextualises their unique experience within their own mental framework can transform one’s very identity.

However, a change in context is not the only determining factor of personal discovery. One’s contextual environment alone has the immense ability to provide incentive for internal transformation through the process of discovery. In Gray’s poem, The Meatworks , the persona’s existential contemplation of life and death is entirely due to his experience working at a slaughterhouse. The self-discovery commences at the start of the poem, as the persona reflects upon the other workers and their disregard for the lives of the animals. The compounded sensorial imagery of the passage, “Most of them worked around the slaughtering / out the back / where concrete gutters / crawled off / heavily, and the hot, fertiliser-thick, sticky stench of blood / sent flies mad,” establishes and sustains an oppressive sense of death. The use of alliteration in ‘s’ and ‘h’ creates a cacophony of emphatic sounds which combine to create a disturbing synesthetic response, illustrating the violent nature of death. It is this horrid setting that facilitates the persona’s inner discovery of existential turmoil, and with it a renewed appreciation for life in all its forms. The symbolic gesture of hand washing in, “I’d scoop up the shell grit and scrub my hands, treading about through the icy ledges of the surf”, illustrates the persona’s desire for purification following his change in perspective. The use of personification in the poem’s last line further conveys the persona’s changing belief regarding the lives of animals: “the ways those pigs stuck there, clinging to each other”. The persona discovers that in death, animals and humans are the same. This revelatory, existential experience perfectly exemplifies how the process of discovery is shaped by an individual’s contextual environment. It shows the true transformational power of context to shape an individual’s outlook and their very understanding of life.

In conclusion, it is highly evident that an individual’s context, whether it be their physical environment, or the experience of a change in context, determines their process of discovery. Robert Gray’s poems Diptych and The Meatworks , and Matthew Thorne’s short film Where Do Lilacs Come From , all convey these ideas to a great extent. In these works responders come to understand how the relationship between context and individual experience define the discoveries which impact interpersonal relationships, personal identity and one’s very perceptions of existence. Only when our context challenges us can we discover, and it is the impact of our discoveries that define who we are and our unique, individual experience.

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Common Module State-Rank Essay Showcase: Nineteen Eighty-Four

The following essay was written by Project Academy English Tutor, Marko Beocanin

Marko Beocanin

Marko Beocanin

99.95 ATAR & 3 x State Ranker

The following essay was written by Project Academy English Teacher, Marko Beocanin.

Marko’s Achievements:

  • 8th in NSW for English Advanced (98/100)
  • Rank 1 in English Advanced, Extension 1 and Extension 2
  • School Captain of Normanhurst Boys High School

Marko kindly agreed to share his essay and thorough annotations to help demystify for HSC students what comprises an upper Band 6 response!

Common Module: Nineteen Eighty-Four Essay Question

Marko’s following essay was written in response to the question:

“The representation of human experiences makes us more aware of the intricate nature of humanity.” In your response, discuss this statement with detailed reference to George Orwell’s ‘Nineteen Eighty-Four’.

State-Ranking Common Module Essay Response

George Orwell’s 1949 Swiftian satire Nineteen Eighty-Four invites us to appreciate the intricate nature of humanity by representing how the abuse of power by totalitarian governments degrades our individual and collective experiences. (Link to rubric through individual/collective experiences, and a clear cause and effect argument: totalitarian governance -> degraded human experience. Also, comments on the genre of Swiftian satire. Value!) Orwell explores how oppressive authorities suppress the intricate societal pillars of culture, expression and freedom to maintain power. He then reveals how this suppression brutalises individual human behaviour and motivations because it undermines emotion and intricate thought. (Link to rubric through ‘human behaviour and motivations’, and extended cause and effect in which the first paragraph explores the collective ‘cause’ and the second paragraph explores the individual ‘effect’. This is an easy way to structure your arguments whilst continuously engaging with the rubric!) Ultimately, he argues that we must resist the political apathy that enables oppressive governments to maintain power and crush human intricacy. Therefore, his representation of human experiences not only challenges us to consider the intricate nature of humanity, but exhorts us to greater political vigilance so we can preserve it. (Concluding sentence that broadens the scope of the question and reaffirms the purpose of the text).

Orwell makes us aware of the intricate nature of humanity by representing how totalitarian authorities suppress intricate collective experiences of culture, expression and freedom in order to assert control. (This is the ‘collective’ paragraph – a cause and effect argument that relates the question to the loss of human intricacy in the collective as a result of totalitarian rule). His bleak vision was informed by Stalin’s USSR: a regime built upon the fabrication of history in Stalin’s ‘cult of personality’, and ruthlessly enforced by the NKVD. (Specific context – an actual specific regime is named and some details about its enforcement are given). The symbolic colourlessness and propaganda-poster motif he uses to describe London reflects the loss of human intricacy and culture under such leadership: “there seemed to be no colour in anything, except the posters that were plastered everywhere.” (First example sets up the world of the text, and the degraded collective experience). Orwell uses the telescreens, dramatically capitalised “BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU” posters and allusions to Stalin in Big Brother’s “black-moustachio’d face” as metonyms for how governmental surveillance dominates both physical and cultural collective experiences. Winston’s metatextual construction of the fictitious “Comrade Ogilvy” serves as a symbol for the vast, worthless masses of information produced by totalitarian governments to undermine the intricacy of real human history: “Comrade Ogilvy, who had never existed…would exist just as authentically, and upon the same evidence, as Charlemagne or Julius Caesar.” Similarly, Orwell’s satirical representation of Newspeak ignites the idea that political slovenliness causes self-expression to degrade, which in turn destroys our capacity for intricate thought and resistance: “we shall make thoughtcrime literally impossible, because there will be no words in which to express it.” (The examples above prove that the government’s leadership style truly is totalitarian, and that it results in a loss of intricacy and ‘humanity’ in the collective. It’s good to cover a variety of examples that explore different facets of the collective – for example, the first example establishes the extreme surveillance, the second example establishes the loss of ‘truth’/history, and the third example establishes the loss of language). The political bitterness that marks Nineteen Eighty-Four as a Swiftian satire (This is a link to the ‘Swiftian’ term used in the thesis statement. It’s important to refer back to any descriptive terms you use in your thesis) ultimately culminates in O’Brien’s monologue, where Orwell juxtaposes the politicised verb “abolish” to symbols of human intricacy, “we shall abolish the orgasm…there will be no art, no literature, no science…when we are omnipotent”, to express how totalitarian rulers suppress collective experiences to gain metaphoric omnipotence. Thus, Orwell makes us aware of the intricate nature of humanity by representing a future in which totalitarian governments suppress it. (A linking sentence that ties it all back to the question and rephrases the point)

Orwell then argues that the effect of this suppression is a loss of human intricacy that brutalises society and devalues individual experiences. (Cause and effect argument that links collective suppression to a loss of human intricacy on an individual scale – continuous engagement with the question and the rubric!) Orwell’s exposure to the widespread hysteria of Hitler’s Nazi regime, caused by the Nuremberg Rallies and Joseph Goebbels’ virulent anti-semitic propaganda, informs his representation of Oceania’s dehumanised masses. (More specific context around the Nazis, and a specific link to how it informed his work) The burlesque Two Minute Hate reveals human inconsistency by representing how even introspective, intelligent characters can be stripped of their intricacy and compassion by the experience of collective hysteria: even Winston wishes to “flog [Julia] to death with a rubber truncheon…ravish her and cut her throat at the moment of climax”, and is only restored by compliance to the Christ-like totalitarian authority, “My-Saviour!”, Big Brother. (A link to the rubric with the ‘human inconsistency’ point) Orwell frequently juxtaposes dehumanising representations of the proles, “the proles are not human beings”, to political sloganism: “As the Party slogan put it: ‘Proles and animals are free’”, to argue that in such a collectively suppressed society, the upper class grow insensitive towards the intricate nature of those less privileged. (It’s important to link the proles into your argument – they’re often forgotten, but they’re a big part of the text!) He asserts that this loss of empathy degrades the authenticity and intricacy of human relationships, characterised by Winson’s paradoxically hyperbolic repulsion towards his wife: “[Katharine] had without exception the most stupid, vulgar, empty mind that he had every encountered”. (Continuous engagement with the question and rubric: make sure to recycle rubric terms – here, done with ‘paradoxically’ – and question terms – here, with ‘intricacy’)  Winston’s “betrayal” of Julia symbolises how totalitarianism ultimately brutalises individuals by replacing their compassion for intricate ideals such as love with selfish pragmatism: “Do it to Julia…Tear her face off, strip her to the bones. Not me!” Therefore, Orwell makes us more aware of the intricate nature of humanity by demonstrating how it can be robbed by suppressive governments and collective hysteria. (A linking sentence that sums up the paragraph).

By making us aware of how totalitarian governments suppress meaningful human experiences both individually and collectively, Orwell challenges us to resist so we can preserve our intricate nature. (This third paragraph discusses Orwell’s purpose as a composer. This can in general be a helpful way to structure paragraphs: Collective, Individual, Purpose) Orwell’s service in the 1930s Spanish Civil War as part of the Republican militia fighting against fascist-supported rebels positions him to satirise the political apathy of his audience. (Integration of personal context is useful here to justify Orwell’s motivations. It’s also a lot fresher than just including another totalitarian regime Orwell was exposed to) Orwell alludes to this through the metaphor of Winston’s diarising as an anomalous individual experience of resistance, ““[Winston] was a lonely ghost uttering a truth that nobody would ever hear,” which highlights how his intricate nature persists even in a suppressive society. Often, Orwell meta-fictively addresses his own context, as “a time when thought is free…when truth exists”, to establish an imperative to preserve our intricate human nature while we still can. The Julia romance trope (It’s good to include terms such as ‘trope’ which reflect your understanding of narrative structure and the overall form of the work.) represents how Winston’s gradual rejection of his political apathy empowered him to experience an authentic, intricately human relationship that subverts his totalitarian society: “the gesture with which [Julia] had thrown her clothes aside…[belonged] to an ancient time. Winston woke up with the word ‘Shakespeare’ on his lips.” Orwell juxtaposes Julia’s sexuality to Shakespeare, an immediately-recognisable metonym for culture and history, to argue that human intricacy can only be restored by actively resisting the dehumanising influence of the government. Orwell also represents Winston’s desensitised and immediate devotion to the Brotherhood to reflect how the preservation of human intricacy is a cause worth rebelling for, even by paradoxically unjust means: “[Winston was] prepared to commit murder…acts of sabotage which may cause the deaths of hundreds of innocent people…throw sulphuric acid in a child’s face.” (More chronological examples that show Winston’s transformation throughout the text. It’s useful to explore and contrast those who resist with those who don’t resist, and how just the act of resistance in some way restores our humanity! That’s why this paragraph comes after the ‘brutalised individual experience’ paragraph) However, Orwell ultimately asserts that it is too late for Winston to meaningfully restore humanity’s intricate nature, and concludes the text with his symbolic death and acceptance of the regime, “[Winston] had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother.” (It’s important to remember that Orwell ends the text so miserably so that he can motivate his audiences not to do the same thing). The futility of this ending ignites the idea that we must not only be aware of our intricate nature, but must actively resist oppressive governments while we still can in order to preserve it. (A linking sentence that ties the paragraph together and justifies the futility of the ending)

Therefore, Orwell’s representation of human experiences in Nineteen Eighty-Four encourages us to reflect personally on our own intricate human nature, and challenges us to fight to preserve it. (Engages with the question (through the reflection point), and includes Orwell’s purpose as a composer). His depiction of a totalitarian government’s unchecked assertion of power on human culture and freedom, and the brutalising impact this has on individual and collective experiences, ultimately galvanises us to reject political apathy. (Your argument summaries can often be combined into a sentence or two in the conclusion now that the marker knows what you’re talking about. This reinforces the cause and effect structure as well.) Thus, the role of storytelling for Orwell is not only to make us more aware of our intricate nature, but to prove that we must actively resist oppressive governments while we still can in order to preserve it. (The clincher! It’s often useful to add “not only” in your final sentence to reinforce the massive scope of the text)

If reading this essay has helped you, you may also enjoy reading Marko’s ultimate guide to writing 20/20 HSC English essays .

P.S If you have any questions about aceing HSC English , you are welcome to learn from Marko and join one of Project Academy’s HSC English classes on a 3 week trial .

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Cory Aitchison

Cory Aitchison

State Ranks (Economics and Chemistry) & 99.95 ATAR

Maximise Your Chances Of Coming First At School

Trial any Project Academy course for 3 weeks.

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