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How to Describe Happiness: 100 Phrases
You’d think figuring out how to describe happiness would be easy…
but when you’re trying to think of how to express happiness in a sentence, it’s easy to draw a blank. That’s why I’m sharing this list of ways to describe happiness, excitement, and joy. I hope these happy phrases help with your novel, story, or whatever you’re writing!
When I shared my Master List of Ways to Describe Anger the other week, on my Facebook author page , one person told me she expected a paywall when she clicked. That was a pretty nice compliment! So I thought I’d do one on how to describe happiness, too. Most of the time, you can express emotions through internal monologue, dialogue, and actions. Once in a while, though, you run into the need to describe the feeling in the point of view of your character.
There are really infinite ways to convey emotion in writing. I have 100 ways here to write about happiness, joy, contentment, hope, and gratitude here. They’re not in any particular order — really, it’s just the order that I thought of them. 🙂
They aren’t all going to be ones you use personally, because every writer is different! Chances are, they’ll make you think of even more words and phrases.
How to Describe Happiness
his heart leaped up for joy
he felt a surge of happiness
I was paralyzed with happiness
their mood lifted
she was bursting with joy
he could hardly contain his happiness
his mood lightened
my spirits brightened
hope bloomed inside her
happiness glowed inside him
he felt a sudden flare of joy
I could barely conceal my delight
they were flabbergasted with joy
sunshine flooded her soul
his spirits were flying high
her hopes soared
she felt like her feet barely touched the ground
joy engulfed me
it cheered her soul
joy took hold of him
inside, she was smiling
she almost jumped for joy
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happiness overtook him
she took a defiant joy in it
happiness streaked through him like a comet
a quiet contentment spread through him
contentment filled her heart
happiness trembled inside of her
his heart dared to hope
happiness swelled within her
gratitude flowed through her
had she ever been happier in her life?
it elevated his mood
he couldn’t think of a time he’d ever been happier
their joy unfolded like a flower
she felt a glimmer of happiness
he felt dizzy with excitement
joy rushed through me
my happiness was so intense it scared me
he thought he would die of joy
her heart was singing
she felt drunk with happiness
he was intoxicated with joy
his heart throbbed with happiness
she burned with a fierce joy
happiness crept over him
it was almost more happiness than she could take
he knew a profound joy
her happiness grew
I was wild with joy
happiness expanded inside him
they were suffused with happiness
joy sparkled inside her
happiness shimmered inside me
happiness danced through her thoughts
he almost collapsed with happiness
it raised his spirits
it brought my spirits up
contentment warmed her from within
happiness radiated through him
he’d never felt more alive
she felt fully and wonderfully alive
I was filled with joyful energy
she could’ve wept for joy
I wanted to shout for joy
he was weak with gratitude
his heart pounded with happiness
she savored the feeling of contentment
a sudden feeling of happiness surprised him
an unexpected happiness consumed her
happiness made me feel invincible
joy rippled through him
gratitude welled up inside her
he felt a flush of happiness
happiness resonated through him
she was transported with joy
it was almost too much happiness to bear
contentment tiptoed into her heart
he was overcome with happiness
he’d unearthed a greater joy than any he’d ever known
her spirits bounded higher
it brought him a ray of happiness
she felt a whisper of happiness
he felt an inkling of joy
she felt a stab of hope
satisfaction settled in his soul
happiness washed over her
his soul took flight
she felt in love with the whole world
he had no words for the gratitude he felt
she was buzzing with happiness
she felt like she was floating
he was in heaven
she was treasuring every moment
she surrendered to bliss
the weight lifted from my soul
he felt a solemn sense of happiness
joy bubbled up inside of her
his happiness overflowed
my heart almost broke with joy
I’m curious: if you read the whole list straight through, did it make you feel happier? It had that effect on me!
Either way, I hope you’re happy to have the list! And if you you like lists for writers, check out my book Master Lists for Writers, if you haven’t already!
Do you have some ideas about how to describe happiness? Would you like to share an example of a description of happiness from your own writing? Please go ahead in the comments section below! Thanks for stopping by, and happy writing!
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46 thoughts on “ how to describe happiness: 100 phrases ”.
Bryn, your posts are always filled with such awesome information for the reader and writer in all of us! Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy life to do this. And, yes, I was smiling towards the end!
Hi, Marcia! Oh, I’m so glad you like them. 🙂
Yup! U r right!
I love these lists. I print them out and use them regularly. They help inspire and find the right words. I use them as a cheat sheet.
Constance, I’m so glad they’re helpful! I do think of them as “cheat sheets” (except it’s not really cheating, of course!)
These are great! And SO helpful!! <3
Hi, Caro! Aw thanks. Hope you’re having a great week!
You helped me improve in my composition a lot.THANK YOU!???
I absolutely love your lists. I refer to them all the time when I find myself needing inspiration or repeating too many phrases. Thank you so much for sharing.
Ohh, thank you friend. 🙂
Wonderful list! Thank you, Bryn.
Thank you so much. I’m so happy that I’ll no longer spend minutes trying to convey a simple emotion and it’s all thanks to you!
Thanks, Bryn. These are great descriptions. 🙂 — Suzanne
Thanks Bryn, I’ve saved this and will use it often. Happiness has crept over me! Cary
How amazing! Where do you get all these ideas from?
Aw thanks! It took me a long time. 🙂
How long????
Thanks for this wonderful list about happiness
I was wondering on Google and I found this!!! Such a lovely article ? I too write on aintyouliving.blogspot.com from India. Hopefully you’ll find something interesting on my blog. Well, love from India ♥️
This was so useful! I started using a few in my everyday writing and it’s made a huge difference
This is a great post and a huge help for writers like myself. Amazing information! Thank you.
Hi Margie! Thanks—I am so glad you found it useful!
Hi! I kind of used this in my writing. Thank you so much!
What I wrote: The room erupted in cheers. People were laughing and smiles were everywhere. Thank GOODNESS! I could barely conceal my happiness. Joy and relief welled up inside of me, and I sighed. I let out the deep breath that I had been holding onto for what seemed like a long time. My job here was done and my dream… had come true.
Ashlyn, so glad it helped. And I love what you wrote! Thanks for sharing!
Wow! Amazing ?! I LOVE it!!!
what an amazing list of words, enjoyed it thank you!!
they helped me a lot in my creative writings.
Wow,Bryn! Thank you ?! I use it a lot on my Compositions!
OMG this is priceless, thank you thank you thank you thank you! Bless your soul for this.
thx, my child now gets high marks for her compo
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awww you are soo sweet,you are helpful you are a role modelll:)
thanks this really helped with my compo ???
my god! Amazing stuff!, huge round of Applause!!
I am Sheema Suroor Mohammad
Thanks heaps great list!!
Thank you. This is exactly what i was looking for. Please note that you are helping emerging authors with this your list that i personally refer to as inexhaustible list.
That is an impressive list! Thanks for sharing!
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Happy to learn happiness in so many words, Wonder how it comprehends so wide! Thank you so much.
this really helped me and i fucking hate you
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I found this website a couple of days ago, and let me tell you, I love it so much! These are so helpful when trying to make things sound interesting without using the same phrases over and over again! Thank you for making these!
Simply amazing. Very well listed. we do find words but not phrases. And you have done an fantastic work by putting them in phrases and Its not just saved our time but you made me learn a many of them. Thank you so much.
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12 Ways To Convey Emotion in Your Writing
Table of contents
Alana Chase
Writing with emotion is an important skill for all writers — bloggers, novelists, copywriters, journalists, students, and many others. It can help you connect with your readers, persuade your audience, or simply bring your ideas to life with flair.
But you might be unsure how to do it or what “emotive writing” really is.
In my 11-year career as an editor and writing coach, I’ve guided numerous students to become well-versed in emotive writing — writing that stirs up genuine emotions and captivates readers.
In this article, I’ll share 12 ways to infuse your work with emotion. I’ve also included examples to illustrate the difference between emotive and non-emotive writing, plus a bonus tip to help you succeed.
Key takeaways
Emotive writing enables you to connect with or persuade your audience by eliciting genuine emotions.
You can use various techniques to convey emotion in writing — from employing sensory language and sharing anecdotes to using strong verbs and adjusting your tone.
AI tools like Wordtune can help enhance your writing and ensure you strike the right chord with your audience.
12 tips for writing with emotion
All that stands between you and emotive writing are some essential tips and tricks. Let’s explore my top 12 below.
Tip #1 - Use active voice
Choosing active voice (where a subject performs an action) over passive voice (where an action is done to a subject) enhances the emotional impact of your writing by emphasizing the person or thing responsible for the action.
For example:
Passive voice: “Yvette was betrayed by Marcos.”
Active voice: “Marcos betrayed Yvette.”
Here, active voice places responsibility firmly on Marcos, making his betrayal of Yvette more impactful. This makes it easier for readers to sympathize with Yvette and feel anger toward Marcos.
The easiest way to nail active voice is to always put the “doer” (subject) at the start of the sentence. Follow up with the action (verb), then the receiver of the action (object).
“Mika (subject) longed for (verb) the familiar sights and sounds of her hometown (object).”
AI tip: Wordtune can help you switch from passive to active voice in seconds. Highlight a sentence and tap the Rewrite button in Wordtune’s Editor to generate a list of suggested replacements.
Get Wordtune for free > Get Wordtune for free >
Tip #2 - Use sensory language
You can evoke specific emotions with your writing by using language that plays on the five senses (touch, smell, sight, taste, and sound). Sensory language also helps create vivid images in the reader’s mind, allowing them to better connect with what you’re saying.
For example, writing “the rough texture of his sandpaper-like hands” can convey discomfort and irritation. Meanwhile, “the sweet aroma of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls” can communicate comfort and joy, and “the incessant, rhythmic ticking of the clock” can evoke anxiety.
On a similar note, avoid stating emotions outright. Instead, demonstrate emotions through actions, body language, experiences, or atmospheric details — show, don’t tell. This makes for a more engaging reading experience.
For example: “I felt terrified.” → “My legs trembled violently and a chill ran down my spine as I climbed up the rusty ladder. With each creaky step, the floor below me seemed to grow further away.”
Tip #3 - Incorporate similes, metaphors, and symbols
Similes (which compare two things) and metaphors (which equate one thing to another) are powerful tools for making your writing more emotive.
Here are some examples:
Simile: “Her smile was like sunshine after rain , brightening everyone’s day.” This evokes positivity and creates striking images in the reader’s mind.
Metaphor: “Your potential is a dormant volcano , waiting to erupt with success.” This inspires feelings of inspiration and eagerness. When used in a marketing or advertising context, it can persuade the reader to take action — e.g., by buying your product or signing up for your service.
Additionally, you can incorporate symbols to represent emotions throughout your writing. For example, a wilting flower can symbolize fading hope, while a lighthouse beacon can communicate determination and resilience.
Tip: Avoid clichés in symbolism — e.g., a lightbulb to signify an idea — to prevent your work from sounding dry and predictable. Instead, choose symbols that are unique and relevant to your piece of writing.
Tip #4 - Add personal anecdotes
Share personal experiences from your life to make your writing resonate emotionally. For example, if you’re writing about the importance of hard work, you could tell a story about a time you overcame a difficult challenge through perseverance.
Anecdotes like these provide a personal touch that draws readers in and encourages them to connect with your writing.
Tip #5 - Opt for emotive adjectives
Emotive adjectives demand attention and elicit strong emotional reactions in readers. “Breathtaking” conjures feelings of awe and wonder, for instance, while “serene” evokes peace and tranquility, and “menacing” conveys fear.
Using emotive adjectives can help you persuade your audience. For example, if you’re selling a product, you could use adjectives such as “cutting-edge” or “top-rated” to generate curiosity and give the product a positive appeal.
Apple uses tons of emotive adjectives in its ad copy, describing the iPhone 15 Pro’s Dynamic Island tool as “a magical way to interact with iPhone.” The company used adjectives like “phenomenal,” “amazing,” “incredible,” “industry-first,” and “aerospace-grade” to detail the phone’s other features.
These words all help evoke feelings of admiration and excitement within Apple’s existing audience and potential new customers.
Tip #6 - Replace adverb phrases with strong verbs
Adverb phrases tend to use vague terms like “softly” or “quickly”. Replacing adverb phrases with strong verbs in your writing allows readers to experience the action more directly, encouraging a greater emotional response.
White space — the empty areas between lines and paragraphs on a page — influences the pacing of your writing. Lots of white space gives readers “breathing room” and speeds up reading. On the other hand, minimal white space slows readers down and encourages them to absorb your words.
Experimenting with white space lets you control your writing’s emotional rhythm and impact.
For example, place a sentence on its own line to create a sense of importance and amplify its emotional weight. Or, use lots of short paragraphs to generate anticipation or long paragraphs to convey seriousness and intensity.
Tip #8 - Vary your sentence structure
You can convey a range of emotions by switching up the structure and length of your sentences.
Short sentences with simple structures can suggest stress, danger, or excitement. Meanwhile, longer sentences with more elaborate structures can imply longing, sadness, admiration, or regret.
Let’s look at two examples from The Great Gatsby:
Short sentences: “She narrowed her eyes and shivered. Lucille shivered. We all turned and looked around for Gatsby.”
Long sentences: “It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced — or seemed to face — the whole eternal world for an instant and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor.”
Use one or the other — or a mix of both — depending on the emotion(s) you want to infuse into your writing.
AI tip: Condense or lengthen your sentences in a snap using Wordtune’s Shorten and Expand features.
Tip #9 - Strike the right tone
Tone defines the mood of your writing — relaxed, serious, humorous, friendly, etc. — so aligning it with the emotion(s) you want to convey is key.
Say you want to evoke joy in your writing. Ensure your tone is lively and filled with positive language. For example, instead of writing, “I was happy,” say, “My heart was bursting with happiness, and my skin tingled with elation.”
Or, perhaps you want to convey a sense of urgency in a persuasive piece. Go for an authoritative tone, using formal language and clear, assertive statements. For example: “Time is of the essence. Failure to act now will have dire consequences.”
AI tip: With Wordtune, perfecting tone of voice is easy. Open the Wordtune Editor, begin writing (or paste your work in), highlight the text, and tap the Casual or Formal button. Wordtune will generate several options to make your writing more conversational or more serious.
Tip #10 - Incorporate humor
Humor can help you convey many emotions in your writing — from happiness to empathy and everything in between. (Using humor is also one of the best ways to tailor your writing for a Gen Z audience and make your social media content more relatable.)
Here are a few ways to do it:
Incorporate puns and other wordplay. For example: “After an hour waiting in line for the rollercoaster, I felt like I’d been competing in a show called Survivor: Theme Park Edition .” This highlights the narrator’s frustration and exhaustion through a humorous play on language.
Sprinkle in sarcasm, irony, or satire. Comment on society’s quirks or the strangeness of everyday life to evoke amusement and introspection. Use sarcasm — e.g., “Another flat tire: just what I was hoping for!” — to express emotions like irritation, frustration, or doubt.
Surprise the reader. Drop a witty remark or punchline when the audience least expects it — for example, after a tense scene or moment of danger. This contrast can make both the lighthearted and poignant moments in your writing more impactful.
Tip: Be mindful of your piece’s tone and context to ensure the humor lands well. If the humor doesn’t fit, leave it out (and use some of the other tips on this list instead).
Tip #11 - Tap into nostalgia
As in life, nostalgia is a potent force in writing. It can stir feelings of comfort, happiness, sentimental longing, or sadness in readers.
You can also use nostalgia to elicit specific emotions and persuade an audience. In fact, this is a popular marketing technique. Advertisers and copywriters will create nostalgic scenes that remind consumers of fond memories and motivate them to buy a product.
Below are some ways to tap into nostalgia in your writing.
Use cultural references to jog readers’ memories of bygone eras. This is especially effective when your references are tied to certain events and trends, such as movie releases, music movements, or historical moments.
Explore common human experiences such as childhood friendships, family gatherings, and milestones like first heartbreak. Create new scenes that dive into these moments, or share personal anecdotes from your past that mirror these experiences.
Use slang from specific eras (e.g., “bodacious” or “gnarly” from the ‘80s) to transport readers back in time and evoke emotions they associate with the period.
Implement sensory language when describing the past . For instance, you might describe the taste of a dessert you once loved, the sound of a familiar song, or the scent of your childhood home.
Tip #12 - Use contrast
Amplify the intensity of the emotions in your writing by contrasting “highs” (positive emotions) with “lows” (negative emotions). Juxtapose emotions like joy and sorrow, love and heartbreak, or fear and excitement to make each feel more impactful.
You might also explore contrasting images, settings, or time periods to evoke emotions. For example, depicting a bright, sunny day following a dark, stormy night can convey hope. Also, moving from the past to the present can underscore, for instance, a main character’s longing for the way things used to be.
Bonus tip: Go slow and be sparing
Emotions often hit harder in writing when there’s a build-up to them. For example, hard-won happiness feels more impactful than sudden joy, and lingering grief resonates more than occasional sadness.
So, take time crafting your narrative and laying the emotional groundwork — really “earn” the feelings . Readers will be more likely to invest in and connect with your writing when you do.
Finally, remember that emotive language is like spice : it can add fantastic depth and flavor, but too much of it can overwhelm the senses. Use it sparingly to ensure readers are drawn in, not put off.
Knowing how to convey emotion in your writing helps you pack a punch with words and connect with your audience — whether you’re looking to tug at their heartstrings or convince them of something.
With the tips outlined in this guide (and some help from Wordtune’s tools), mastering emotive writing can be easy and fun. You can play on readers’ senses with descriptive language, share personal anecdotes, incorporate emotive adjectives, use humor, and more.
Continue leveling up your writing by exploring our guides on rewriting sentences so they don’t sound bland and proofreading to keep your work flawless .
What is it called when you use emotion in writing?
Using emotion in writing is called “emotive writing.” The writer uses expressive language and storytelling techniques to convey feelings, evoke emotional responses, and create a lasting impact on readers.
How do you describe your emotions in writing?
In writing, you can convey your emotions by using descriptive, sensory language and sharing personal experiences.
What are emotive adjectives?
Emotive adjectives are descriptive words that evoke a specific emotional response from readers. Examples include “appalling,” “heartbreaking,” “exhilarating,” “thrilling,” and “enchanting.”
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Start your free trial to access brainstorming lists of body language, thoughts, vocal cues, and sensations for over 130 emotions. Writing can be easier!
ANTICIPATION
APPREHENSION
CONNECTEDNESS
DEFENSIVENESS
DESPERATION
DETERMINATION
DEVASTATION
DISAPPOINTMENT
DISCOURAGEMENT
DISILLUSIONMENT
DISSATISFACTION
EMASCULATION
EMBARRASSMENT
FEARLESSNESS
FRUSTRATION
HOMESICKNESS
HOPEFULNESS
HUMILIATION
INDIFFERENCE
INDIGNATION
INTIMIDATION
NERVOUSNESS
OVERWHELMED
PEACEFULNESS
POWERLESSNESS
RESIGNATION
SATISFACTION
SCHADENFREUDE
SELF-LOATHING
UNAPPRECIATED
UNCERTAINTY
VENGEFULNESS
VINDICATION
VULNERABILITY
WISTFULNESS
WORTHLESSNESS
MINI LESSON
No two characters should express emotion the same way. To avoid reusing tired gestures or slipping into telling, use this thesaurus to brainstorm fresh body language, visceral sensations, and thoughts to express your character’s emotions in ways that make sense for them.
EMOTION AMPLIFIERS
BEING STUCK
BEREAVEMENT
BRAINWASHING
CHRONIC PAIN
COGNITIVE BIAS
COGNITIVE DECLINE
COMPETITION
CONFINEMENT
DEHYDRATION
DISTRACTION
HORMONAL IMBALANCE
HYPERACTIVITY
INSTABILITY
INTOXICATION
MALNUTRITION
MENTAL HEALTH CONDITION
MORTAL PERIL
PANIC ATTACK
PHYSICAL DISORIENTATION
PHYSICAL HEALTH CONDITION
SENSORY OVERLOAD
SLEEP DEPRIVATION
SUBSTANCE WITHDRAWAL
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Writing Tips: How to Evoke Arousal Through Words Crafting a Descriptive Story
Arousal can be described as a heightened state of physical and mental energy that often manifests itself in butterflies, accelerated heart rate and sweaty palms.
How To Describe Arousal In Writing
When describing arousal in writing, it is important to consider the complexity of your text (perplexity) and the variation of your sentences (burstiness). When writing, think about how you can convey an aroused state in a way that is both captivating and understandable. To increase perplexity, try to include some longer or complex sentences that will draw the reader in. To create burstiness, intersperse shorter sentences throughout. Creating a unique pattern of longer and shorter sentences will make the writing more interesting to the reader. Furthermore, consider using figures of speech or figurative language to create an emotional reaction. Incorporating these tools will make your description of arousal come alive.
Ways To Describe Arousal In Writing
Writing about arousal can be a tricky task since it is often based in very subjective experiences. However, there are some techniques writers can use to help paint a vivid picture of the emotions and sensations aroused in a character or reader. Expressing emotional arousal through descriptive language can create a palpable atmosphere on the page and evoke strong feelings in the reader. Physical indicators of arousal can also be used to give an even more detailed description of the scene.
Descriptive Language For Writing About Arousal
Verbs are a great way to express physical sensations associated with arousal, such as trembling, quivering, or fluttering. Adjectives like intense, passionate, and feverish can also be used to describe heightened emotions in a character or situation. When writing about arousal, it is important to avoid cliches and instead focus on creating unique descriptions that will draw readers into the world of the story.
Mental States To Show Arousement In Writing
Fear and anxiety are two mental states that can be used to convey arousal in writing. These feelings often manifest physically in characters, such as trembling hands or beating hearts. Apprehension and panic can also be used to create tension and immediacy in a scene. It is important for writers to pay attention to how these mental states affect characters’ physical reactions so that they don’t become too abstract for readers to understand.
How To Paint A Picture With Words To Show Arousal In Writing
Visual imagery is one of the most powerful tools writers have for conveying emotion on the page. Descriptions of characters’ facial expressions, body language, and gestures can help readers understand what they are feeling without explicitly stating it. Symbolic imagery can also be used to convey sensations associated with arousal such as heat or electricity without resorting to cliches like sparks flying between two people.
Metaphors And Similes For Expressing Molten Passion In Writing
Similes like as hot as fire and as electric as lightning are effective ways for writers to describe intensity of feeling within a scene without resorting to overly dramatic descriptions. Metaphors such as describing love as an infinitely deep ocean or passion as an unstoppable force of nature can also help writers intensify moods of passion without losing subtlety or nuance in their writing.
Explaining Sensations Caused Due To Arousement In Writing
Writing can be a powerful tool for conveying the sensations caused by arousal. Through the use of words, the writer can express the tingles of excitement, the intensity of fear, and the rush of joy that may accompany moments of heightened emotion. By carefully crafting language to capture a particular sentiment, the reader is able to experience these sensations along with the author.
When writing about arousal, it is important to consider which words will best capture and convey a given sensation. Tactile sensations such as goosebumps or shivers can be described with words like tingly or prickling. Auditory stimulations such as a pounding heartbeat should be described using phrases like pounding or thudding.
Word Choices That Can Make Writing Come Alive With Feelings Of Heightened Excitement
To make writing about arousal come alive with excitement, unconventional language choices are essential. Dramatic phrases such as the thrill of anticipation or anxiety bubbling up within can create tension in the reader and evoke a feeling of exhilaration. Words that evoke an emotional response are also helpful in conveying heightened emotions; for example, words like exhilarating or dreadful can help to bring out powerful emotions in both the writer and reader.
Power Words That Enhance The Impact Of Writing About Excitement
In addition to evocative language choices, certain buzzwords related to excitement can also enhance the impact of writing about arousal. Words like thrill, adrenaline, and tension all have connotations that can increase the intensity of writing about intense emotions. Similarly, expressions like heart pounding or breathless anticipation are useful in creating an atmosphere of suspense and anticipation in readers.
Descriptors That Can Help Describe Delightful Alarm Or Frightening Fear Caused By Arousement
Finally, when attempting to describe delightful alarm or frightening fear caused by arousal in writing, descriptive words that precisely illustrate euphoria or fear should be used. For instance, expressions like euphoric bliss and paralyzing terror are useful for conveying these sensations accurately and vividly. Colored expressions such as a dizzying rush of joy or a “chilling sense of dread” are also helpful in precisely describing fearful or pleasurable reactions to arousal.
FAQ & Answers
Q: What Are Ways To Describe Arousal In Writing? A: Ways to describe arousal in writing include expressing emotional arousal with descriptive language, mental states to show arousement, painting a picture with words to show arousal, metaphors and similes for expressing molten passion, explaining sensations caused due to arousement, word choices that can make writing come alive with feelings of heightened excitement, power words that enhance the impact of writing about excitement, and descriptors that can help describe delightful alarm or frightening fear caused by arousement.
Q: What Are Verbs For Describing Arousal? A: Verbs for describing arousal include quiver, throb, palpitate, pulse, swell, undulate, surge, vibrate.
Q: What Are Adjectives For Describing Arousal? A: Adjectives for describing arousal include aroused, stimulated, electrified, aroused from within/without.
Q: How Can I Paint A Picture With Words To Show Arousal In Writing? A: You can paint a picture with words to show arousal in writing by using visual imagery and symbolic imagery. Visual imagery involves using metaphors and similes to create vivid images in the readers mind while symbolic imagery involves using symbols or objects to represent emotions.
Q: What Are Metaphors And Similes For Expressing Molten Passion In Writing? A: Metaphors and similes for expressing molten passion in writing include comparing feelings of arousal to being like fire by saying “his heart was on fire” or “she felt her skin burn with desire.” Other similes could be “he was as tense as a bowstring” or “her breathing was as rapid as hummingbird wings.” Metaphors could include saying “his heart raced like horses” or “she felt her veins turn into rivers of pleasure.”
In conclusion, writing about arousal can be challenging but also rewarding. It is important to make sure that the language used is appropriate and that any physical descriptions used are done so in a tasteful and respectful way. Arousal can be described in a variety of ways, from the subtle to the explicit. Ultimately, it is up to the writer to decide how much detail they want to provide when describing arousal in their work.
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Excitement Adjectives: Stunning Examples for Description
Are you ready to dive into a world of thrilling emotions and heart-pounding experiences? In this article, I’ll be sharing a list of adjectives that will help you vividly describe the feeling of excitement. Whether you’re writing a captivating story, crafting an engaging blog post, or simply looking to expand your vocabulary, these adjectives will add a burst of energy to your writing.
Table of Contents
How to Describe excitement? – Different Scenarios
Remember, the key to describing excitement is to choose words that evoke the emotions and sensations associated with the feeling. By incorporating these adjectives into your writing, you can capture the essence of excitement and transport your readers into your world.
Now that you have a better understanding of how to describe excitement in different scenarios, go ahead and experiment with these adjectives in your own writing. Let the words flow and watch as your readers become engrossed in the exhilarating world you create. Happy writing!
Note: This section is a middle part of the ongoing article and should not contain a concluding paragraph.
Describing Words for excitement in English
Remember, using these descriptive words allows you to paint a vivid picture for your readers, engaging them in the exhilarating world you’re creating. Experimenting with these adjectives will bring your writing to life and immerse your readers in the excitement of the moment.
Adjectives for excitement
Positive Adjectives for Excitement
Adjective
Example Sentence
Thrilling
The roller coaster ride was .
Exhilarating
The view from the top of the mountain was .
Electrifying
The energy in the crowd was .
Energetic
The dance floor was full of moves.
Heart-pounding
The suspenseful movie had my heart .
Negative Adjectives for Excitement
While excitement is generally associated with positive emotions, there are times when it can have a negative connotation. Here are some adjectives that capture the darker side of excitement:
Here’s a definition list with examples:
Anxious : The excitement of the upcoming test made me feel anxious .
Overwhelmed : The sheer magnitude of the event left me feeling overwhelmed with excitement.
Restless : The restless excitement kept me up all night, unable to sleep.
Synonyms and Antonyms with Example Sentences
Synonyms for Excitement
When it comes to describing excitement, there are numerous adjectives that can help create a vivid picture in the reader’s mind. Here are some synonyms for excitement:
Antonyms for Excitement
While excitement is often associated with positive emotions, there are also negative adjectives that capture the darker side of this feeling. Here are some antonyms for excitement:
Remember, choosing the right adjectives to describe excitement can greatly enhance your writing and engage your readers. Try using these synonyms and antonyms in your own writing to create a dynamic and captivating experience.
From the exhilarating rush of a thrilling adventure to the electrifying energy of a live performance, we have discovered a plethora of descriptive words to enhance our writing. Adjectives such as heart-pounding, breathtaking, and adrenaline-fueled paint vivid pictures in the minds of our readers, allowing them to feel the excitement alongside the characters or events being described.
On the other hand, we have also explored antonyms for excitement, such as anxious and restless, which can add depth and contrast to our writing when appropriate.
So, let’s embrace the power of words and use these adjectives to infuse our writing with the energy and excitement it deserves.
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How to Show Happiness in Writing (100+ Ways & Examples)
From the moment I picked up a pen, I knew my stories needed more than just plots and characters.
They needed the heartbeat of happiness.
Through trial and error, I’ve found ways to weave joy into the fabric of my narratives.
I’ve used these methods to describe happiness in several published novels and numerous short stories.
Here Is How to Show Happiness in Writing
Show happiness in writing by using vivid words like “ecstatic,” descriptive phrases such as “bursting with joy,” and crafting scenes that capture laughter, smiles, and the warmth of human connection. Convey happiness through characters’ actions, achievements, and shared moments of joy.
Table of Contents
Ready to light up your words with joy?
Let’s get started by going over the types of happiness to describe in writing.
Types of Happiness in Writing
Before you describe happiness in writing, you need to understand all the different varieties.
Let’s go over the major types of happiness in writing:
Euphoric happiness
Contented happiness
Anticipatory happiness
Reflective happiness
Shared happiness
Euphoric Happiness
This type of happiness is about those peak moments of joy that feel almost overwhelming.
In writing, it’s when your characters experience a high so intense, that it’s almost transcendental.
Think of moments like winning a long-sought-after award, reuniting with a loved one, or achieving a dream against all odds.
These are the moments that leave your characters (and readers) breathless, their hearts pounding with unadulterated joy.
Contented Happiness
Contented happiness is quieter, more like a gentle stream than a roaring waterfall.
It’s found in the small, everyday moments that fill life with warmth and satisfaction. In your writing, it’s the peaceful morning routines, the comfortable silences between friends, or the serene end of a day well spent.
It’s less about the highs and more about a deep, sustaining sense of well-being.
Anticipatory Happiness
The excitement of looking forward to something wonderful gives this type of happiness its unique sparkle.
It’s the countdown to a special event, the planning of a surprise, or the hopeful dreams of what the future might hold.
In writing, use anticipatory happiness to build tension and excitement, showing your characters dreaming, planning, and yearning for what’s to come.
Reflective Happiness
This is the joy found in looking back and appreciating the journey.
It’s a type of happiness that comes with a tinge of nostalgia, a bittersweet acknowledgment of growth and change.
In writing, reflective happiness can be shown through characters reminiscing about past adventures, learning from their experiences, or finding peace with their past.
Shared Happiness
Happiness is often magnified when shared.
This type involves the joy of seeing someone else happy, of shared jokes, communal achievements, or the simple act of giving.
In writing, it’s the celebrations that bring communities together, the successes enjoyed as a team, or the laughter that bonds characters closer than ever before.
10 Ways to Show Happiness in Writing
Here are ten creative ways to do just that, each with a distinctive flavor of happiness.
With each method, I’ll give you 10 examples to really help you understand how to apply the strategy in your own stories.
1) The Laughter Echo
Laughter is contagious, and using it in your writing can instantly light up a scene.
But it’s not just about saying “they laughed.” It’s about describing the sound of laughter, the way it fills a room, catches someone by surprise or bubbles up from deep within.
Use laughter to show characters’ personalities, to ease tension, or to bond groups together.
A giggle that turns into a full-blown belly laugh.
Laughter that sounds like music, lifting the spirits of everyone who hears it.
A snort of laughter at an unexpected joke.
Silent chuckles shared between friends in a serious setting.
Laughter that echoes through a house, making it feel alive.
A character who laughs with their whole body, shaking with joy.
A sarcastic quip that leads to shared amusement.
Laughter that breaks the ice in a tense situation.
A surprise tickle fight that ends in breathless laughter.
The warm, infectious laughter of a loved one over the phone.
2) The Smile Spectrum
Smiles can convey a world of emotions, from shy, tentative smiles to beaming grins that crinkle the eyes.
In your writing, use a variety of smiles to show different shades of happiness.
Describe the way a smile transforms a face, how it feels to smile after a long day of sadness, or the effect of someone’s smile on those around them.
A slow smile that spreads like sunrise.
Smiles exchanged over a cup of coffee.
A grin that’s all teeth and joy.
The small, secret smile of inner amusement.
A smile that lights up the room, drawing people in.
Smirking at a private joke.
A smile of relief after overcoming a challenge.
The proud smile of accomplishment.
A bashful smile at a compliment.
Beaming at a friend across a crowded room.
3) Joyful Gestures
Joy doesn’t always need words.
Sometimes, it’s in the actions, the little gestures that say more than sentences ever could.
Think about the ways your characters show their happiness through what they do, not just what they say.
It could be the way they skip instead of walk when they’re excited, or how they can’t stop fidgeting with happiness.
Dancing alone in the kitchen to a favorite song.
Jumping up and down when receiving good news.
A spontaneous hug that lifts someone off their feet.
Clapping hands together in glee.
A high five that turns into a handshake, then a hug.
Making a loved one their favorite meal just because.
Drawing happy faces on steamed-up windows.
Leaving little notes of appreciation for others to find.
A playful wink across the room.
Twirling in a dress or skirt, caught up in a moment of pure bliss.
4) The Euphoria of Success
Capturing the moment of achievement in your writing can be a powerful way to convey happiness.
This isn’t just about winning; it’s about the journey to that win, the struggles overcome, and the final, triumphant realization of a goal.
It’s the euphoria that sweeps over your characters, leaving them (and your readers) breathless with joy.
Crossing the finish line after months of training.
The final piece of a puzzle clicking into place.
A standing ovation after a performance.
The flush of pride from a job well done.
Tears of joy when a long-term goal is reached.
A victory dance after a hard-earned win.
Signing off on a project that took years to complete.
The moment of silence before a crowd erupts in cheers.
The overwhelming relief and happiness of passing a difficult test.
A toast to celebrate the culmination of effort and dreams.
5) Serene Contentment
Not all happiness is loud or exuberant.
Some of the most profound joy is quiet, a deep river of contentment that runs through your characters’ lives.
Show this through scenes where little happens externally, but internally, your characters are at peace with the world and themselves.
Watching a sunset in silent appreciation.
The warmth of sipping a hot drink on a cold day.
The comfortable silence between friends.
A contented sigh after a satisfying day.
Finding the perfect spot to read in a sunbeam.
The gentle caress of a breeze on a warm day.
The quiet hum of nature on a walk.
The soft glow of candles in a tranquil room.
Lying on the grass, watching clouds drift by.
The peace of a deep, undisturbed sleep.
6) Shared Laughter
Shared happiness is doubly joyous, and laughter that bounces between characters can light up your writing.
This is about moments of connection, the inside jokes, and the shared hilarity that bonds characters together.
It’s laughter that weaves through your narrative, bringing characters closer and making your readers feel part of the group.
A joke that becomes funnier each time it’s retold.
Laughing until there are tears in their eyes.
The kind of laughter that makes your stomach hurt.
Shared looks that spark an outbreak of giggles.
An accidental blunder that ends in shared amusement.
Finding humor in a difficult situation, together.
A story that gets more embellished with every telling.
The uncontrollable fits of laughter that come from pure joy.
A game that ends with everyone in stitches.
The comfort of laughing with someone who truly understands you.
7) The Brightness of New Experiences
Happiness often comes from experiencing something new or seeing the world in a fresh way.
In your writing, capture the wonder and excitement of characters as they encounter new experiences.
Whether it’s a new relationship, a new place, or a new activity, these moments are ripe with happiness.
The awe of seeing a breathtaking landscape for the first time.
The thrill of trying a new hobby and loving it.
The excitement of making a new friend.
The joy of tasting a delicious food never tried before.
The exhilaration of a first kiss.
Discovering a passion they didn’t know they had.
The nervous excitement of starting a new job.
The wonder of exploring a new city.
The satisfaction of learning a new skill.
The simple pleasure of a new routine that feels just right.
8) Acts of Kindness
9) the euphoria of success.
This isn’t just about winning.
Instead, it’s about the journey to that win, the struggles overcome, and the final, triumphant realization of a goal.
10) Expressive Creativity
Creativity is a powerful outlet for joy, allowing characters to express their happiness in unique and fulfilling ways.
Through painting, writing, music, dance, or any form of creative expression, show how your characters channel their joy into something tangible, sharing it with the world.
Painting a mural that brightens a dull wall.
Writing a song that captures the essence of a happy moment.
Choreographing a dance that feels like pure joy.
Baking a beautiful and delicious cake for no reason at all.
Crafting a handmade gift filled with love.
A performance that leaves both the audience and the performers elated.
A poem that brings smiles to those who read it.
A photograph that captures a perfect moment.
The satisfaction of completing a creative project.
Sharing their artwork, not for acclaim, but for the joy of sharing.
50 Best Words to Describe Happiness in Writing
Joy, bliss, euphoria – words that paint happiness vividly.
Exhilarated
Lighthearted
Happy-go-lucky
Heartwarming
Blissed-out
50 Best Phrases to Describe Happiness in Writing
“Happiness is a warm puppy” – short, sweet, and universal.
Bursting with joy
On cloud nine
In seventh heaven
Over the moon
Walking on air
A heart full of joy
Smiling from ear to ear
Floating on happiness
A beam of sunshine
Radiating joy
A burst of happiness
Feeling on top of the world
A glow of contentment
Bubbling with excitement
A skip in their step
Grinning like a Cheshire cat
Eyes twinkling with delight
Laughing without restraint
Full of high spirits
The warmth of happiness
A soul filled with bliss
Overflowing with joy
Wrapped in euphoria
Savoring the moment of bliss
Basking in the glow of happiness
A heart skipping with joy
The light of joy in their eyes
Drowning in a sea of happiness
A chorus of joy in their heart
A dance of delight
The thrill of joy
A symphony of happiness
The peak of elation
A smile that lights up the room
The sweet taste of happiness
Lost in a moment of joy
A laughter that fills the air
A touch of bliss
The flush of pleasure
A ripple of happiness
The sparkle of pure joy
The embrace of contentment
The rush of exhilaration
The whisper of joy
A canvas painted with happiness
The melody of laughter
A tapestry of joyous moments
The fragrance of happiness
The color of joy
The texture of bliss
3 Full Examples of Showing Happiness in Different Genres
Happiness shines, even in the darkest of tales.
Romance – The Moment of Realization
In the soft glow of the sunset, Ella and Jamie stood hand in hand, overlooking the tranquil lake.
The world seemed to pause, holding its breath as they looked into each other’s eyes, seeing the future they would build together. A smile, warm and genuine, spread across Ella’s face, reaching her eyes and lighting up her entire being. She laughed, a sound of pure joy and relief, as Jamie pulled her closer, whispering promises of forever.
In that moment, happiness wasn’t just an emotion; it was a palpable force, wrapping them in its warm embrace, promising a lifetime of shared smiles and intertwined paths.
Fantasy – The Victory Celebration
After the long-fought battle, the kingdom of Eldoria erupted in celebration.
In the grand hall, adorned with the banners of the victorious, the air was thick with the scent of roasting feasts and sweet mead. King Thalion, his face alight with a triumphant smile, raised his goblet high, his voice booming over the din, “To our freedom and future!” Cheers filled the hall, echoing off the stone walls, as warriors and citizens alike shared stories of bravery and loss, their laughter mingling with tears of relief.
The happiness that filled the room was infectious, a testament to their resilience and the promise of peace. It was a night where every smile, every hug, and every song was a brushstroke on the canvas of their shared joy, painting a future where happiness was no longer a fleeting dream but a lasting reality.
Mystery – The Unveiling of Truth
Detective Harris stood in the dimly lit room, the final piece of the puzzle clicking into place.
Around him, the team waited with bated breath, their exhaustion forgotten in the face of imminent revelation. With a flourish, he revealed the evidence that unmasked the culprit, a collective gasp filling the space. Then, as the weight of weeks of tension lifted, a spontaneous applause broke out, mingled with relieved laughter.
The joy was not just in solving the case but in restoring balance, in the triumph of truth over deceit. As they wrapped up, there was a lightness in their steps, smiles easier and more frequent, a shared happiness in their success and the knowledge that they had brought closure to those haunted by uncertainty.
In that moment, their camaraderie was a beacon of hope, a reminder of the joy found in the pursuit of justice and the collective relief of a mystery unraveled.
Here is a quick video about how to show happiness in writing an essay or school assignment:
Final Thoughts: How to Show Happiness in Writing
Ultimately, the journey to express happiness in writing has taught me that joy, in all its forms, is the most powerful story we can tell.
Read This Next:
How to Describe Love in Writing (21 Best Tips + Examples)
How to Describe Laughter in Writing (21 Best Tips + Examples)
How to Describe a Funny Person in Writing (21 Tips + Examples)
How to Describe a Smile in Writing (700 Ways & Examples)
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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®
Helping writers become bestselling authors
Emotion Thesaurus Entry: Excited/Elated
September 4, 2008 by BECCA PUGLISI
When it comes to emotion, sometimes we need a brainstorming nudge. After all, each character will express their feelings differently depending on their personality, emotional range, and comfort zone. We hope this short, sample list of expressions will help you better imagine how your character might show this emotion!
If you need to go deeper , we have detailed lists of body language, visceral sensations, dialogue cues, and mental responses for 130 emotions in the 2019 expanded second edition of The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression .
EXCITED/ELATED
·High color, a flushed appearance ·Slam-dunking trash into a barrel after a game or event (guys) ·Jumping up and down ·Making fists and doing an exaggerated shake close to the body (running in place) ·Doing a victory dance ·Not caring what others think, a lack of self consciousness, enjoying the moment ·Enjoying communal happiness, feeling part of the crowd ·A warm glow expanding throughout the body ·Heightened senses ·Cold fingers, numbness, shock ·Speed-talking with heads close together (girls) ·Throaty laughter ·Impatience ·Getting the giggles ·A distinct walk, a fast-paced strut…
Enthusiasm is closely related to Excited/Elated. If you need more ideas on how to express this emotion, have a look here .
Win your readers’ hearts by tailoring your character’s emotional responses so they’re compelling, credible, and realistic.
If you struggle with writing emotions, you aren’t alone. The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression has helped writers all over the globe, and it can help you. To find out more about this bestselling book, please visit our bookstore .
Prefer the flexibility of instant online access and greater searchability?
The Emotion Thesaurus is also at our sister site, One Stop for Writers . Visit the Emotion Thesaurus Page to view our complete list of entries.
TIP: While you’re there, check out our hyper-intelligent Character Builder that helps you create deep, memorable characters in half the time !
Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers —a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.
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Reader Interactions
August 31, 2014 at 8:18 pm
The Emotion Thesaurus for character expression is invaluable. It’s gotten be through many a block when I know the emotion but don’t know how to express it. Absolutely brilliant!
September 1, 2014 at 10:03 am
Sophia, so happy you are finding the book to be helpful. 🙂 Emotion can be difficult to convey in writing sometimes, so hopefully our brainstorming guide will give you a bit of a boost! 🙂
March 3, 2011 at 9:07 pm
I so appreciate your blog … this post, from a few years ago, just helped me out a TON!!! Thank you!
September 5, 2008 at 6:05 pm
Good list. I always use the thesaur…to express emotion
September 5, 2008 at 12:43 pm
*dances without beer cans*
September 4, 2008 at 5:36 pm
September 4, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Yay! Another great installment. I came looking for something like this last week. The enthusiasm one helped but this is even better for what I was looking for!
September 4, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Thanks for another Emotion Thesaurus installment!
September 4, 2008 at 11:38 am
LOL, I once saw a guy try to crush one of those old five-alive cans with the hard ridge like you would a beer can. He gave himself a concussion, and the can was unharmed.
I’ll victory dance with you..it’s safer. 🙂
September 4, 2008 at 11:18 am
I am so excited it’s Thursday and I get another Emotion Thesaurus post. I’m jumping up and down crushing beer cans over here! Oh, wait, I’m not a guy, and I only tried crushing a beer time like once back in college. So instead, let’s see…I’m doing a victory dance!
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Writing Tips Oasis - A website dedicated to helping writers to write and publish books.
10 Words to Describe an Excitable Person
By Rebecca Parpworth-Reynolds
Do you want to write a character in your book as someone who gets excited easily? The 10 words to describe an excitable person in this post will help.
Becoming excited but in a way that doesn’t feel good.
“The closer it got to becoming her turn on the zipline across the canyon, the more antsy she became.”
“The toddler was so antsy that they could barely stay still in their car seat. It was a good job they were strapped in tightly.”
How it Adds Description
Being excited doesn’t always feel like a positive experience, especially when it really takes a hold of someone! Using “antsy” is a great way to describe when your character’s excitement has started to go out of control.
Full of energy and enthusiasm.
“Her bubbly personality was infectious, and was always guaranteed to light up a room.”
“Sitting across from her, she was just as bubbly as the champagne that he had ordered to the table, and her antics were starting to draw a few stares.”
Usually used to describe female characters or people, “bubbly” brings up images of a sparkling drink, filled with bubbles, full of life, and something that people enjoy! As a result, if you have a character that is full of life and excitable, it’s a great word choice!
Really wants to do or have something.
Showing a keen interest or desire.
“After the theme park had been closed over the winter for renovations, the roller coaster fanatics were eager to see what had changed.”
“She was so eager to get going she was practically barging other passengers out of the way in order to get off of the bus.”
Often, excitable people are “eager” to do certain things, and even become so enthusiastic to the point where they forget about everything around them! It’s a perfect word to show how they act around something they are excited about.
4. Energetic
Full of energy.
Very active .
“As the song continued, she found his energetic dancing more and more difficult to keep up with.”
“While others would be simply exhausted by this point, he was still energetic and ready to go.”
A person that gets excited easily probably has a lot of energy to burn, so they are most likely “energetic” with their actions and behavior! An excitable character who then loses all their energy will then make your reader question what has happened.
5. Enthusiastic
Showing energetic interest in something or being eager to do it.
“Her enthusiastic support left him speechless; he didn’t think she would go this far to help him out.”
“He was so enthusiastic about his gap year that soon everyone was fed up with him talking about it.”
Someone that is excitable is probably “enthusiastic” about something, or, in fact, many things! Using this to describe them can help to illustrate just what exactly sends them jumping with joy!
6. Exuberant
Energetic and excitable.
Full of the joy of life.
“She retold the story of her eventful day in such an exuberant manner that he could not help but laugh.”
“Anyone attending one of the Duke’s parties was in for an exuberant evening of entertainment which perfectly matched their host.”
“Exuberant” things and people are exciting and full of life, so it’s a perfect word for your easily excited character! Often, “exuberant” people have a big presence in a room, so if your character likes to be the center of attention, or often finds themselves there, it will describe them well!
7. Frenetic
Moving excitedly or having a lot of activity.
“In order to get ready for the party, there was so much frenetic activity in the sorority house.”
“The frenetic pace of the movie set their hearts racing.”
An excitable person most likely shows this in their movements, and one way to describe that is with the word “frenetic”! It also helps to show how active they are compared to the other characters in your story, who may not be able to keep up with them!
8. Hyperactive
Extremely active to the point where they cannot focus.
Easily excitable.
“Plying the kids with sugar was only going to make them hyperactive , and that was even before they got to the party.”
“Although her hyperactive nature meant that jobs could be done quickly when she put her mind to them, oftentimes they would be left to the last minute.”
Often, excitable characters can lose sight of what they should really be focusing on, and “hyperactive” helps to demonstrate how their nature can sometimes get in the way of their actual priorities. They may need help from other characters to truly be on top of their game!
Energetic and enthusiastic .
Exciting and interesting.
“It was a joy to have her in class, as she always brought such lively discussion that kept everyone on their toes.”
“As soon as the band began to play, his lively dancing left everyone else both fascinated and enthralled.”
An excitable character is sure to bring with them a “lively” atmosphere and topics that will interest others! “Lively” helps you to show what they bring to others, as well as how much they are the life and soul of the party!
10. Outgoing
Friendly and energetic.
Easily able to get along with others.
“Her outgoing personality made her easily likable. Why she had not been crowned as the prom queen was anyone’s guess.”
“Since she started hanging out with the group, her shy and timid nature began to be replaced with an outgoing and rambunctious one. It almost felt like she was a different person entirely.”
“Outgoing” helps to describe the lively nature of excitable people and how they get on with others. Usually, excitable characters will be full of energy and want to share their excitement with others, making them perfect friend material!
How to Show Emotion in Writing and Make Readers Feel It
By C. S. Lakin
It’s really amazing, if you stop to think about it. Readers will willingly suspend disbelief and subject themselves to the gamut of emotion, making themselves vulnerable to intense feelings.
Some readers read for the suspenseful ride. Like my husband and kids, who eagerly climb into seats on real roller coasters—they’ll even wait two hours to experience a two-minute ride just to get scared out of their wits.
Some readers are perfectly fine crying, feeling miserable, or aching in commiseration as they go on a difficult journey with a fictional character they love.
Fictional, not real.
Why do so many people love to do this? I don’t know. I can only speak for myself. There is something wonderful, magical, and sublime about being made to feel deeply about something outside my normal life.
Stories that remind me of what being human is all about, what love is, what loyalty is, what hope is, what being victorious looks like, lift me up, confirm my humanity, bring deeper meaning to my own life.
Seeing that we have readers willing to experience emotion when they turn the pages of our novels—no, not willing … expecting, hoping, and longing for an emotional experience—we writers need to become masterful wielders of emotion.
Writers Have to Dig Deep
Don’t try to name emotions, but what if you’re not the emotional type.
That’s not an easy thing to do. It takes thousands of hours of study, practice, and honing to become a master of emotion. And often that means we have to mine our own emotions.
We have to dig deep to reflect on how we react, respond, and feel emotionally to events, people, and situations so that we can try to capture those feelings and transfer them onto the page.
That’s the advice Hemingway gave, and it’s the best advice I’ve seen on the emotional craft of fiction: “Find what gave you the emotion . . . Then write it down, making it clear so the reader will see it too and have the same feeling as you had.”
Hemingway’s advice gives us the first step to learning how to manipulate readers’ emotions. In addition to examining how you emotionally react to things you see around you or on TV, pay attention to those moments when you feel strongly while reading a novel.
Instead of thinking, “I want my reader to feel sad,” how much more masterful would it be to dig deep into the many emotional nuances we experience when any given event occurs.
Do what Hemingway instructed. When you feel something, write down what action took place that made you emote. Then dig into the emotions and learn not just why you feel this way but what exactly you are feeling. What thoughts led you to those feelings?
If you can nail the thoughts, which are words, you can put similar thoughts (words) into your narrative and character’s voice.
That’s the first step toward evoking emotion in readers in a masterful way.
I usually can’t put a name to the composite emotion I feel in a given situation. I can toss around a whole lot of words. But, to me, trying to name complex emotions is like trying to catch the wind with chopsticks.
Think of it this way. You might not know what to name a particular color shade, but if you have a few tubes of paint and play around with the quantities, you just might be able to re-create the color perfectly.
That’s what you need to do with words on your palette to create the same emotion.
If you consider yourself an unemotional person, not used to examining into your feelings, this aspiration to become an emotional master is going to kick your butt.
I’ve had numerous editing clients tell me they really struggle with this. They say, “I’m just not the emotional, introspective type. I rarely get in touch with my feelings.”
Let’s face the facts: since readers read to care, to be moved, if you want to write the kind of novel that will move them, you must find those emotions within you.
Here’s one thing that might help: music.
I don’t know about you, but music is very powerful to me. It can evoke tremendous emotion in me. That’s why movies can move us in such emotional ways—they not only show (rather than tell) scenes in which characters are emoting, there is a soundtrack that overlays, designed to stir emotion.
Who can explain why certain musical scores make some people weep? Or want to cry out in joy? We can feel nostalgia, poignancy, love, peace, awe when we listen to music. It’s hard to name the emotions we feel when we listen.
Certain instruments might move us a certain way. Some are moved by opera. Or a sweet folk song.
The first time I heard Pharrell Williams’s song “Happy” on YouTube , I got so happy I started dancing around the house just like all those people in the music video. That song was so powerful that people all over the world got hooked on it.
Even Oprah had Pharrell on her show to talk about that one song. If you haven’t seen it, take a minute and watch. It shows ordinary people of all ages, races, classes, stature dancing to the song in locations around the world.
Music is powerful. Music and dancing are universal. Joy is something everyone wants to feel. Emotion is powerful, infectious.
Pharrell’s music and lyrics, along with showing people dancing and moving to his song, gets people in touch with that place inside that feels joy in life. And that’s magical.
We also bring our past to our response to music. What are your favorite songs from when you were a teen? Music sparks intense memories.
When I hear certain songs, I’m instantly transported to specific times and places in my life. Not only that, I can almost taste and feel as if I were back there, thinking and feeling the way I did when I was fifteen or twenty.
Music sparks memory. Memories spark emotion. Emotions lead to more thoughts and memories, and more emotion.
If you know you need your character to feel something and you’re not sure how to tap into that feeling, try to find some music that will take you there.
I have a playlist of hours of soundtrack music. And I often choose a particular piece to listen to when I’m writing or plotting a scene in which I need to feel something specific. I may not be able to name the emotions, but I know what feeling I’m searching for.
Music can free you up; bypass your resistance or writer’s block. If you need to write an exciting high-action scene and you put on music that is exciting and stimulating, it can get your creative juices flowing and drown out your inner editor.
Emotional mastery is one of the hardest skills for a fiction writer. While there are many techniques to help you get there, music is one tool that will help you mine your emotions.
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C. S. Lakin is an editor, award-winning blogger, and author of twenty novels and the Writer’s Toolbox series of instructional books for novelists. She edits and critiques more than 200 manuscripts a year and teaches workshops and boot camps to help writers craft masterful novels.
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About Words – Cambridge Dictionary blog
Commenting on developments in the English language
On the edge of my seat: talking about excitement
by Liz Walter
Today, I’m going to write about words and phrases for describing excitement. I’ll start with a very basic point that often causes trouble for learners of English: the difference between exciting and excited . Remember to use -ing adjectives for the things that cause a feeling, and -ed adjectives for the person experiencing the feeling:
Our trip to see the whales was really exciting.
Everyone was excited about seeing the whales.
When children (or sometimes adults) behave in a silly way because they are too excited about something, we say they are over-excited :
Lucy knocked her drink over – I think she’s a bit over-excited.
We use the word exhilarating to describe exciting experiences, especially when they involve physical feelings or actions. The people experiencing the excitement are exhilarated :
It was so exhilarating to ski on the fresh snow.
When we reached the top of the mountain, we were exhilarated and exhausted.
Thrilling also means ‘very exciting’, and we talk about the thrill of doing something exciting. However, thrilled is almost always used in a more restricted way to mean ‘extremely pleased’:
He had some thrilling adventures when he was young.
She’s addicted to the thrill of skydiving.
Peter was thrilled with his present.
The word heady is used to describe situations or periods of time where someone feels happy and excited. It often implies that someone feels more confident or free than usual:
They bought the cottage in the heady months after their wedding.
An intoxicating feeling or experience is very exciting and enjoyable. People can be described as being intoxicated with something:
For Max, this academic freedom was intoxicating.
She was intoxicated with fame.
A few idioms connected with fear can also be used for excitement, depending on the context. For instance, you could say that a very exciting movie kept you on the edge of your seat , or that your heart skipped/missed a beat when you saw something exciting.
If something makes you excited, you can say that it sets your pulse racing :
This young actor is setting pulses racing all over the world.
In much more informal language, stoked and buzzing are common words for ‘excited’:
Daisy was stoked to be invited.
When we arrived in New York, I was just buzzing.
People also say, informally, that they are buzzing for something when they are excited about something that is going to happen in the future:
I’m buzzing for Sophie’s party.
I hope you are excited, thrilled and stoked to learn some new words and phrases, not to mention buzzing for more posts!
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23 thoughts on “ On the edge of my seat: talking about excitement ”
I can understand when you say that Thank you
I am agreed with the language class because motive to being. Congratulations, Liz Walter!
Orson Marie Bosch
Love this simple article. It makes me stoked because it enriches my english vocabulary. Thanks so much. Keep writing.
You better say “ it stokes me”
No, sorry Renwick, I’ve never heard anyone say that. I think Kamran’s is OK, though it’s more common to day that someone ‘is stoked’.
Each time I read your post, I’m intoxicated with it. Thank you.
Ha ha, thank you!
Please do a fashion-related blog! I absolutely love your work.
Thank you! You might like this post from my colleague Kate Woodford: https://dictionaryblog.cambridge.org/2014/05/21/shopping-for-clothes/
thank you so much.
Some one has gone sentimental here….
it is useful with me! make a new soon, ok?
it’s very essential for my preparation of the ielts exam. thank you so much
it is useful to me!
Thank you – keep looking: you will find a post from me every 2 weeks. You will probably find my colleague Kate Woodford’s posts useful too – just click on her name on the right of the page.
Article is very useful
Thanks. This blog sets my pulse racing before going to bed. I am also kind of overexicted for commenting here. Lol
Thank you, Liz. I got a question. “exhilarating:…especially when they involve physical feelings or actions…” Action can be countable and uncountable. Exhilarating experiences often involve physical action(s). What is the difference between action and actions here?
That’s a difficult question! i could have used either here. If you use the countable sense, it has more the suggestion of individual actions, where as the uncountable sense means action in general – but it’s very subtle!
Thank you. It is a convincing answer.
I have another question about sets your pulse racing. Does it always mean someone is excited? Can it apply to other situations that make his heart rate increase?
For example, The horror movie sets his pulse racing. It sets pulses racing to see a mom holding a baby, standing on the edge of the roof.
I think this phrase is usually used in positive situations, not situations of fear.
I will pay attention afterwards. Appreciate your help.
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Great Adjectives to Describe an Exciting Feeling
Table of Contents
Have you ever felt your heart beating unusually faster? Or that you can’t help but jump up and down out of joy?
Then you might be experiencing the adrenaline rush associated with an exciting situation. There are many adjectives for excitement that you can use to describe how you feel. And we’ll talk about all that and more in this article. Let’s get into it!
What are Adjectives?
First things first, you need to learn what adjectives are and their function. This will help you learn how to use them better in your sentences.
Adjectives are words that are used to describe nouns in a sentence . They can describe anything from a person, ideas, places, feelings, objects like books, and so on.
Let’s say you went on a trip to Disneyland. You might describe your trip by saying, “My trip to Disneyland was great .” Or you could also describe how you felt during the trip saying, “I’m happy we got to go to Disneyland.” In these sentences, the adjectives are great and happy, describing the trip and how the noun is feeling, respectively.
There are tons of adjectives in the English language that you can look through. It’s important to choose the appropriate ones in your sentences.
The Definition of Excitement
Excitement is the noun form of the verb excited. This can be characterized by intense eagerness or concentration, especially due to impending or anticipated positive events.
Being excited can also be interpreted as deeply enjoying something, such as food, play, or other work. When you feel excited, you may rush to do something or be unusually happy and enthusiastic.
Best Adjectives for Excitement
It’s time to get to know the best adjectives you can use to describe how you feel in a situation full of excitement . These are also close synonyms of the word exciting.
Thrilling : Exciting and exhilarating, causing excitement and pleasure.
Exhilarating : It has the same meaning as thrilling, but it’s often used more casually.
Stirring : Provokes enthusiasm, excitement, or passion.
Rousing : Causing great emotional excitement.
Stimulating : Producing adrenaline and endorphins speed up your heart rate and make you feel awake, alive, and excited
Intoxicating : Having a great impact and appealing to all your senses.
Electrifying : So exciting and dramatic that it causes intoxication and euphoria.
Invigorating : Stimulating a person’s mind and rejuvenating them.
Moving : Exciting, but often results in emotional stress as after a big moment
Inspiring : Causes you to feel confident about yourself or eager to learn something
Gripping : A feeling of overwhelming emotion and an almost uncontrollable excitement
Compelling : Something that is captivating and awe-inspiring
Sensational : Causing great interest among the public as well as excitement.
Powerful : Used to describe any distinctive and beautiful impact on the mind or body
Dramatic : Extremely powerful and climactic
Shocking : Causing you to feel surprised or shocked
Startling : It tends to cause an almost uncontrollable fright and discomfort
Hair-raising : Extremely alarming, frightening, or astonishing
Explosive : Something extremely and dramatically shocking
The next time you feel excited, you can look to these adjectives for excitement . These will help you effectively describe a feeling, situation, or event to your readers. They can also help inject more color into your writing.
Abir Ghenaiet
Abir is a data analyst and researcher. Among her interests are artificial intelligence, machine learning, and natural language processing. As a humanitarian and educator, she actively supports women in tech and promotes diversity.
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How Fiction Writers Can Show Emotions in Their Characters in Effective Ways
Editor Robin Patchen wraps up our examination of Fatal Flaw: # 6 Show, Don’t Tell. Writers often succumb to this fatal flaw of fiction writing, explaining and telling and summarizing instead of showing action as it’s happening. Robin gives some great tips on how writers can show by action and thoughts rather than by relying on describing bodily sensations. Be sure to pay attention to this one! (If you missed this month’s post on this fatal flaw, start with this one here .)
This month, we’ve been studying that famous axiom for fiction writers: show, don’t tell. Today, I’m going to tackle what I think is the most difficult thing to show in our novels—emotions.
If you’ve been writing for a while, no doubt you’ve heard it’s not acceptable to name emotions. Don’t tell us Mary is sad. Show us she’s sad.
Many writers lean on a clever trick to show emotions—they describe a character’s physical reactions to emotions. So characters are often crying, yelling, and slamming doors. Their stomachs are twisting, their hands are trembling, and their cheeks are burning. We hear exasperated breaths and soft sighs. Don’t even get me started on heartbeats. Some characters’ hearts are so erratic, I fear they’re going into cardiac arrest.
So What’s a Fluttering Heart to Do?
I’m poking fun, because I do it too. It’s an easy way to show emotions. But I have a few problems with this old standby. First, these things are so overused, they’ve become cliché. (I know your stomach is twisting at the very thought.) Second, having a character clenching his fists might show us he’s angry, but it doesn’t show us the impetus for that anger. Is he feeling frustrated, slighted, or jealous?
All those—and a host of other primary emotions—can lead to anger. Finally—and to me, this is the most important—showing me your characters’ physical responses provokes no emotional response from me. Your hero might clench his fists, but I promise, mine will remain perfectly relaxed. So you might have shown an emotion, but you haven’t made your reader feel anything. And that, my friends, is the point of fiction—to elicit an emotional response.
Let’s take a look at some effective and not-so-effective ways to show emotion.
Mary opened her eyes and looked at the clock. Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest. The baby had slept nearly eight hours. But little Jane never slept more than four hours at a time. Something must be wrong.
Not again. Her stomach rolled over when she remembered the last time a child of hers had slept too long.
Mary flipped the covers back and stood on weak knees, forcing herself to her feet despite the fear overwhelming her. She shoved her arms in her bathrobe, slipped into her warm slippers, and rushed for the door. Her hands were shaking so badly she could hardly turn the doorknob. Finally, she got the door open and ran down the hallway toward the nursery.
She threw open the door and lunged at the crib. She peered inside and saw the beautiful pink cheeks of her newborn daughter. She placed her trembling hand on Jane’s back, felt the even breaths, and let out a long sigh. Tears of gratitude filled her eyes as she realized her baby was alive.
Our character is definitely feeling emotions. Do you think I can get the reader to experience a few of them? I’ll give it a try.
Mary opened her eyes and squinted in the sunshine streaming in through the open window. She stretched, feeling more relaxed than she had since . . .
She sat up and looked at the clock. It was after eight. Little Jane had slept through the night. For the first time.
Just like Billy.
Mary flipped the covers back and stood. She snatched her robe from the back of the chair and slipped it on. She wouldn’t think about Billy. The doctor said it wouldn’t happen again. The odds against it were astronomical.
Billy had been nearly six weeks old. Jane was almost two months. It was different this time. It had to be.
She slipped her feet into her fuzzy slippers, ticking off all the ways the situations were different. Billy had been sick. Jane had never even had a sniffle. Billy had been fussy. Jane was nearly the perfect baby, only crying when she was hungry or wet.
She must be both hungry and wet right now, but little Jane was silent.
No, God wouldn’t do that to her again. She couldn’t bury another child. She wouldn’t.
She stepped toward her bedroom door, remembering Billy’s skin, how gray and cold it had been. At first, she’d thought maybe someone was playing a mean trick on her. But then she’d lifted him. Seen his face. Those gray lips and lifeless eyes.
Maybe it would have been different if she hadn’t been alone when she’d found his tiny body. Maybe if John had been there. But John had been gone on a business trip.
Mary turned and looked at the empty bed. Her side was a jumble of blankets. John’s side was untouched. He was on a business trip. Again.
He’d rushed home that day two years earlier, assured her it wasn’t her fault. How could she have known?
How indeed? How did a good mother sleep through her own child’s death? How did she dream of beaches and butterflies while her son passed into eternity?
If Jane was dead, Mary would join her. Somehow. She couldn’t live through this again.
She stepped into the hallway and took a first step. A good mother would run, but she could hardly force herself to walk. She inched her way down the hall.
She glanced at the stairs. What if she went to the kitchen, made some coffee? Never found out the truth?
She pushed the thought away and continued past the staircase, paused at the nursery door, and laid her hand on the cold metal doorknob. The clock ticked loudly in the hallway, like a steady heartbeat.
She stepped into the room and approached the crib. And there, sprawled on her back, lay the most beautiful sight she’d ever seen.
Jane’s eyes opened at the sound of Mary’s approach, and she smiled.
I hope you had at least a twinge of emotional reaction to that. I know I did. Please notice, there’s not a single beating heart or trembling hand in that example. Her stomach doesn’t clench, and her eyes don’t fill with tears. Yet she felt a lot of emotions. Did you?
Slow It Down
Counselors tell us that thoughts lead to emotions, and emotions lead to actions. As a writer, you can easily show your character’s thoughts and actions. Readers are smart enough to deduce the emotions based on what the characters think and do. So often it seems writers are in a hurry.
When you have a very emotional scene, slow it down. Let us hear your character’s every thought. Highlight a few details. Show the actions.
Why don’t we write like this? For one thing, it takes a lot longer. My first example is fewer than two hundred words and took me about five minutes to write. The second is closer to five hundred and took nearly half an hour.
Writers have to dig a lot deeper to write selections like the second one. I had to remember what it was like to be a new mother, put myself in the shoes of a woman who’d already buried one child, and try to feel what she would feel. Not comfortable, let me tell you.
And you see a bit into my soul, don’t you? What kind of mother would even consider going downstairs and making a pot of coffee? Yet as I put myself in that scene, I looked at the stairs, and I thought about it. Showing emotions means baring your soul.
Sure, it’s fine to have some lines showing emotions by way of bodily response. But don’t limit yourself to that technique. I hope this example helps you see ways you can elicit emotion in your reader through thoughts and actions.
But showing emotions can pull your reader in and get them to feel right along with your hero and heroine. And isn’t that the goal?
What stood out to you as you read the After example? What lines gave emotional impact?
Want to master the emotional craft of fiction?
Dive into the online course emotional mastery for fiction writers .
In this course, you’ll be given tools to show emotions in your characters. You’ll be given techniques to help spark emotional response in your readers. What is going to bring it all together for you is practice. Study and practice. And you’ll have exercises in this course to help you put into practice what you learn.
Emotional mastery requires writers to set up the dynamics of a scene in such a visual, textural way that readers can’t help but feel what they are meant to feel. Understanding that emotional mastery requires a twofold approach — the emotional landscape of both the character and the reader —is the first step.
Want to learn how to become a masterful wielder of emotion in your fiction? Enroll in my new online video course, Emotional Mastery for Fiction Writers.
You’ll get lifetime access to all the videos and more than three dozen downloadable assignments. And with a 30-day money-back guarantee, you have NOTHING to lose by jumping in. Sign up NOW.
This course will challenge you to become an “emotion master.” Are you ready and willing to go on this journey deep into emotional territory? If you want your characters to move your readers, take the plunge!
Listen to my discussion on how to show emotion in characters. There is so much to this topic!
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102 Comments
I found this article very helpful. It’s a delicate balancing act to slow down the action enough to heighten the emotion but not so much as to cause the reader to skip through the scene because they want to get on with it. You’ve given some good examples for doing just that. As always, another great piece of advice, C.S.!
If you think the reader might skimp over the scene. You might want to re-write it. Every scene in a story has to build up emotion and anticipation to progress head on from scene to scene.
I absolutely loved this article, and I 100% AGREE with your logic. Thank you for sharing!
One of the best posts I have read on the subject. Thank you for the great example!
Great advice, Robin!
You’ve gotten to the ultimate solution here: the truly effective approach is to describe *why* the person is feeling what he or she is, rather than the exterior symptoms.
Thanks, Curtis. I definitely think that’s a big part of it–at least one element of showing emotions. Of course we couldn’t do this with every single emotion–imagine 500 words to replace every frown. But when the emotions really matter, I think they’re worth examining.
This is one of the best articles I’ve read on this subject. You really bring it to life with your example.
Thanks! I’m glad you think so.
I’ve been often critiqued that my characters must have more emotion by showing their facial expression and bodily response to situations of distress. I can fully understand from your example how much I have dismissed all these factors by summarizing their feelings. Thanks for such a vivid example of how to convey feelings without putting a label on them.
Glad it helped. I think sometimes, we believe that the physiological reactions are the only way to show feelings, but personally, I’d much rather know what’s going on in people’s heads. Ever look at someone and think, “What is he thinking?” What’s on their face doesn’t tell us what we really want to know.
“If Jane was dead, Mary would join her. Somehow. She couldn’t live through this again.”
This line stood out to me. It puts the reader in the state-of-mind the character is in at the moment. Thanks for the article.
Kind of depressing, though, isn’t it? I’m glad it stood out.
This is a great article! You’ve really “shown” the difference very effectively 🙂
Great article! I like the contrast between showing exterior vs interior. The other trick is doing this with Deep POV.
To answer your question…I felt every bit of what the mother was experiencing. You’re an extremely talented writer. Slowing it down is so important, yet since it’s time-consuming I find myself breezing over it, too. During my second drafts I’m often horrified at the heart-fluttering, weak knees, and shaky hands in my first draft. Using subtext instead of body cues is what I’m working on now before I send my ms back to the editor. Stellar post!
My first drafts have a lot of breathing–sighing, blowing out breaths, holding breath. I think my characters might suffocate if I don’t show them breathing. 🙂 The key is to leave that stuff in draft #1.
Thanks, Sue!
nicely shown
This is very helpful. Thank you for posting this.
I do have one question though. Do you ever feel like you can overdo the inner dialogue? For example, Kurt Vonnegut once said that every sentence should either reveal character or advance the plot. How do you decide how much inner dialogue is revealing character and how much is just killing your pacing?
Is it just experience and a good ear?
Genre plays a big part in determining this! I have read suspense thrillers that are hugely internal thought, packed full of worrisome thoughts to ramp up the emotional tension. Getting in close to what a character is thinking while afraid can make the reader feel that fear. For other genres, and personal author writing styles, such as Cormac McCarthy’s, you’ll see almost no internal thoughts at all. Internal dialog can both reveal character and advance the plot, so Vonnegut’s sage words apply here as well. Best is to study other great novels in the genre in which you are writing and note (highlight?) all the lines of internal dialog and their content to see just what that amount is.
That’s great advice. Thank you!
That’s a great question, Paul. Susanne’s advice to study other great works is great.
You certainly wouldn’t want to have this much internal dialog all the way through a book. It needs to serve a purpose. In this case, we want to get the reader emotionally invested in the scene, and the best way to do that is to let us see what the character is thinking. But if the hero is deciding between a bagel or a donut, you wouldn’t want to show us his calculating the calories of each. That would get old fast.
At first, it can feel unnatural, but I think the more you write, the more intuitive it becomes.
This is a great article. I know I’m certainly guilty of getting lazy and writing scenes as I see them instead of delving into the character. I’m about to begin revision, and I can already think of places I need to expand and deepen. Thanks for the insight!
So glad it helped, Victoria. Good luck with your revisions.
This is the best example I’ve seen on this subject! I’m so glad I found it. My stories end up being like the ‘before’ and I never really liked it. It felt like something was off. You’ve really opened my eyes. I tried this on a scene I was working on and now it sounds much better! Now I must look for more tips and keep on writing.
All I can say is thank you. Shalom aleichem, Patricia
In the ‘After’ example, it was her questions that showed her doubts and her fears. That gave me the emotional response.
A good observation, Mawr. Thanks for stopping by.
I like how you demonstrate internal thoughts in third person. Many writers want to switch to first person in italics. To me this loses the continuity of the story. So right, body movements and facial expressions keep the reader on the outside of the character. Your before and after is so helpful! Thank you!
Thanks! Glad you found it helpful.
Wow. This has helped a LOT! I’ve had more compliments on one scene that I did this with, but didn’t really know concrete what I was doing. The difference was I put myself there, slowed down, and actually physically moved the way the character would, felt what she would have felt. It was amazing. Thank you so so much for sharing!!
Glad this helped you! Being aware of this can really improve the emotional impact of your scenes.
So glad it helped, Kelly.
Excellent article. Always eager to collect knowledge like this. Thank you.
This is great, but it bothers me slightly. This “slow” method of writing matches the woman’s trepidation and reluctance to learn the truth. But often emotions are felt, and acted on in an instant, and I’m rather uncomfortably aware of the fact that describing something in detail can turn a couple of seconds into a page or more.
That’s true. Sometimes it’s appropriate to slow down a moment. Sometimes, it’s not. You have to use your best judgment.
This opened my eyes to why writers have to pace a story. Just earlier, I was editing and rewriting parts of my story. It took hours, but it was worth it in the end.
I think the line that stuck out to me was, ‘How did she dream of beaches and butterflies while her son passed into eternity?’
I don’t even know how to describe why I like this line so much. I just do.
Thank you for this wonderful article. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have completely understood why pacing and emotions are so important in writing.
Thank you, Mini, for your response. I’m so glad the article worked for you. I loved that line, too. I need to find a place to use it in a book!
Great article. This is what I need to improve my writing. In your example it might go too long and it gets repetitive with the woman’s fears. If it was a tad shorter might be better. Just a thought. P
You may be right. Thanks for the feedback.
Great article. Is it say that I thought the first version was good? The second version elicited a deeper emotional experience, but I thought it told a lot. I can’t seem to find that line. The first version was active, but it did have the typical overdone descriptions. Then I read other books, and I see all sorts of contradictions from what I learn on writing sites. Sighing, knees wobbling, lips curling, eyes narrowing, jumping back, staring. I thought relying on action was great! I thought I found it….back to the drawing board.
Susanne gives good advice. I don’t have an answer. First pass, my characters do a lot of breathing–sighing, heaving, inhaled frustrated breaths. It’s as if I fear they’ll suffocate if I don’t have them breathe a couple of time son every page. 🙂
My characters’ eyes are lighting up all the time, and I have character beaming. Subject verb direct object. How do I break from this tyranny? lol
Maybe pull the plug?
the best way! im thankful to u
Excellent article — successfully writing emotion is something I struggle the most with, this is a great help.
Excellent post. I want to write with more emotion. Thanks for the great example. gramswisewords.blogspot.com
Glad it helped, Maz!
As a young writer I constantly have the “show don’t tell” philosophy thrown at me and I have read countless posts telling me that “if you’re telling the emotion even just a little bit rather than just completely showing it, you’re doing it wrong” blah blah blah, you get the picture. So to read this post has definitely changed my perspective on the delicate handling of emotion. You have demonstrated, in my opinion, a perfect balance of show and tell, so that I haven’t just been informed of the character’s feelings, their responses to traumatic events, and their life-but rather I’ve been whisked right into the character’s life to watch it all unfold. So many books I’ve read have just informed me that “oh the character is sad” as if the author is just like, hint hint wink wink-this is the part where you, the reader, should be sad too. Preferably crying over my character. Or they just say, this person is so angry they’re gritting their teeth. Like be angry at the villain because my character is angry at the villain.
But I feel nothing, because they’ve shown me how the character is feeling but they haven’t grabbed the reins of my emotions and MADE me feel for the character. If you get what I mean haha Anyways, sorry for the long comment but yeah, I just wanted to say thank you for this article-it was incredibly helpful 🙂
Glad it helps! You might like to read more about that in our 12 Fatal Flaws book. I do a whole PowerPoint workshop on this topic. I think it’s so much more effective to show what a character is thinking to evoke emotion.
I’m so glad you found the article helpful, Hannah! I know what you mean. There’s a big difference between showing an emotion and evoking an emotion. It’s much harder to do the second.
Thank you so much!! I was really struggling with the concept and I tried some other articles but this one helped the most by far. Once again, thank you so much!!
I’m so glad you found it helpful!
“How did she dream of beaches and butterflies while her son passed into eternity?” This line really got to me. I think because I would think something similar. How could I not know? How could I laugh or dream and live while someone I love is dying?
When my mother died I was at work in the stock vault. I had forgotten my phone on my desk and when I got back to it my coworkers were looking at me and saying my phone had “blown up”. They all knew my mother was sick in the hospital dying and when I got back to my desk they all knew what I did not, that she had died while I was in the vault, chatting with my colleagues. So yeah that line got to me and brought back that memory.
Perri, what a difficult memory for you that must be. I’m sorry to have brought it back. On the other hand, if the goal is to elicit an emotional response, I suppose I did manage to do that. Thank you for the note.
No, I will never refrain from telling emotions directly, and I will not read fictions which shows emotions instead of telling. Showing is necessarily ambivalent and results inevitably in incomprehensible drivel.
Interesting take on it, Klaus. Thanks for the note.
This opened my eyes in so many ways. I am deeply grateful to you for the simple solution to a complex issue in writing… Making an old emotion sound fresh as though it is felt for the first time is simply not easy. This was easy to read, and it brought feeling immediately. Thank you
So glad you found it helpful, Charlotte!
I’m sorry but the first part was the right part for me. The second was way to long and I lost interest. I feel this is the problem often. To each their own offcourse, can’t please everyone 🙂
Damn, I was thinking the same! I enjoyed the first part so much better than the emotionless descriptions about how she had to bury Billy. The stomach rollover literally gave me a melancholic feeling which didn’t happen with “God wouldn’t do the same to her”
Thank you for this article. I would like to study some of the great novels for expression of emotion. Any recommendations?
Amazing advice! This is the toughest part of creating a flesh and blood character for me. How would u apply this to first person voice?
You can just change “she” to “I” and it’s the same thing, basically. There really is no difference between first person and third person when doing deep POV.
Yes, I cried. This is the most effective article I’ve ever read on the subject of “Showing” and I recommend it to writers often. Please, never take this post down!
I didn’t mean to make you cry, J.D.! 🙂 I’m glad you found it helpful. God bless!
Still taking this article in. Have printed it off for easy reference and example. Thank you for posting this.
Stephen King does it well, by getting the protagonist to get involved deeper and deeper into an emotional state which reach a tempo unbearable.
My pleasure, Virginia. I’m glad you found it helpful.
Some good points in the way you show emotions. “Her heart nearly leapt out of her chest.” This one looks too cartoony, and nearly is an adverb [use prohibited by good writers I am told.]
The occasional adverb is acceptable, but you’re right, the line is cartoonish. That’s one of my issues with all the physiological reactions to “show” emotions–they’re exaggerated, often to the point of becoming ridiculous.
Wow, this is good writing. Hair literally stood on its ends, as I read the second rendering, even though I knew baby Jane was safe from reading the first version.
Amazing bit of writing. Thanks for the article.
But isn’t this kinda too intense for a reader? I can read the occasional paragraph like this but as a reader, I would be a nervous wreck if I had to read an entire full length novel written in this style.
Sometimes, maybe the tell is much better than show – like those ‘implied’ scenes in movies, rather than an explicit scene.
Would you recommend that a writer sticks to this POV for the entire novel or only use this occasionally? And if the latter, what kind of scenes might call for this?
Hi Badri, of course you wouldn’t have this intense a moment in every single scene in a novel. Novels should have low-energy and high-energy scenes, low- and high-action scenes, low- and high-emotional scenes. As far as POV goes, that applies to the viewpoint: whether you are in first, second, or third person. I’m not sure what you are asking, but if you mean going into deep or intimate POV, that’s a style choice and would be consistent throughout the novel.
Like CS said, not all scenes are this intense. The point is to show emotions through thoughts and actions rather than through physiological responses. So if your character is feeling happy, show the happy thoughts. If she’s feeling angry, show angry thoughts. It wouldn’t be appropriate to get this deep into every emotion, though. That could be cumbersome.
I am a very later bloomer in writing (and reading as well, I’m embarrassed to say). When I would read anything that invoked emotions as a child or young adult, I could not handle it (due to many different things going on in my life). But I am now at a different place and I am finally discovering how much I enjoy reading, well, I really mostly enjoy reading that makes me feel the emotions like your posting did.
In your first take I was thinking, oh get over it already lady…I never really liked babies anyway, we all gotta die sometime…etc… (lol, exaggerating here of course). But in your revised version, I was on tears and on the edge of my seat, thinking, that poor mother…that poor little baby…no no no…nothing can happen to that beautiful little baby…
I was shocked at the difference of my own response.
I have contemplated trying to become a writer and this posting has inspired me so much. This is now my goal – to write something that makes a reader feel this much emotion. Thank you sooooo much for sharing this.
The author of the article did a magnificent job conveying her lesson. I would offer a little insight into child loss, however. A parent never gets over losing a child. It will not happen, as a part of their heart has been torn away, outside of the natural order. Even though you may not know the experience, please do not belittle it, or those going through it. Good luck with your writing, as you walk this path with us.
I understand the concept behind it the “after”, but I have woken up before worried my baby was dead because she slept through the night… and the last thing I would have done is slip on my cozy slippers. I definitely didn’t take 10 minutes to think about if she could be dead before checking on her. So in reality — the before felt a little closer to truth to me, it was just felt a little extreme on the visceral emotions. Maybe it is just me.
Thank you for the article, even though the example didn’t resonate with me, it was an excellent example to get the point across.
I’ve been writing novels for over a decade. Finally,I understand it is the process rather than the physical manifestations of an emotion, alone, that conveys emotion to the reader! Thank you for such an intriguing insight, and thank you to my editor Beth Terrell for steering me to your blog.
Glad you arrived here! Be sure to check out my online course, too, as it goes way deep with 40+ passages examined!
So glad you found the post helpful, Jennie!
What I was able to read of the AFTER piece was wonderful. Unfortunately, the situation hits far too close to home for me, and I couldn’t finish it. You absolutely nailed it, though. The first one did not bring forth the same emotion in me the second one did. Further, the emotion built as you advanced, thus my reaction. Yes, I shed a few tears before I was able to write this reply. Thank you for this article, the insight and the advice. I will take this to heart, as I continue learning the craft.
Thanks for sharing those sentiments. I’m sorry this was/is painful for you.
I’m sorry for raising these painful memories for you. Thanks for the comment. God bless you.
Please, don’t be sorry. It is a part of life for parents who have lost a child. However, the way you wrote the piece was marvelous. That it was so powerful is a testament to the example you built. Well done. It is a wonderful lesson.
To answer the question on what stood out the most, I would say it was the last sentence. It was the baby smiling that gave me the strongest emotional response. Starting to read the text, I didn’t really “plan” to get a tear in my eye, because I find it all too easy to shield myself from the sad stuff, even though I would like to feel more directly. But fortunately, the moment of beauty and joy in the end got to me. It took me by suprise and managed to break through my shield. I will try to incorporate this in my own writing.
Fantastic article and it helps me a lot. At the point when I write, I attempt to recollect what I feared or what was terrifying to me and attempt to place those sentiments into books.
Omg! I loved this, thank you so much for sharing.
The same old story, to show emotions with your characters. SHOW don’t TELL!!!
Excellent post. It is feasible to submit no mix-ups and still lose. That isn’t a shortcoming; such is reality. This article really helps me a lot. Thanks for posting.
This was a very engaging post. It has provided me with new information and now I have a better idea of how I can represent emotion within a fictional character. Also, the example that you provided was written so well! You have given me so much inspiration and I can tell that you are a very hard worker and are dedicated to what you do. Thank you so much.
You’re very welcome!
I’m so glad, Elise, that you found the post helpful! God bless you and your writing.
I think I’m missing something. Can anyone please clarify the differences between the two examples because they both use body language to indicate emotions. If anything, the before seems better because it includes body language *and* internal reaction. The after only uses body language.
The article explains what the differences are and why using thoughts is so much more emotionally effective than showing body language. The After version uses no body language (physical tells). The thoughts are what get readers to understand and empathize with characters.
Neither the Before or After work. As for the Before, who writes like that? Must be a really rank beginner. As for the After, I spent the whole time while reading it thinking, “Not only is this ridiculously long, but no panicked mother is going to take the time to slip into her robe, put on her slippers, and have a coherent thought-stream going through her head about what happened to her other child.” No. She’s going to dash to her baby. Time for these other thoughts–or rather, an abbreviated version of them– can come as she’s cuddling her child. Perhaps better yet, put these kinds of thoughts in an earlier chapter, as background material. Then she can just fly out of bed and run to her child, and some further reflection can come when she’s found the baby safe. This is a time to act, not reflect.
Thanks for your comments. Everyone is different, and depending on the kind of character we create, they will respond differently. I would be exactly like that second example. I did similarly when I woke and hadn’t heard my baby cry at night. I put off going in as long as I could. Of the hundreds of writers I’ve shared these examples with in workshops, 99% agree with the second one as the more moving, effective, and believable example. As I said, everyone is different. But it’s all about your character–her past, who she is, etc. You might try to write this scene and then run it by critique partners and see what their response is to the way you present the character. It might be enlightening!
As a fairly new writer, I have a question that might seem silly, but it’s one that I’ve often debated. I have a tendency to spend way too much time on the scenes as I write them. I’ll go back, and back again, until I feel like it’s perfect … until I don’t. At this point I am 15,000 words in and have probably spent enough time on the chapters that I have done to have completed two novels.
Experienced writers, keep telling me to just write, and finish the first draft. Do you feel it would be appropriate to draft scenes like example #1 and then come back to add emotion like example #2 during the second draft? After reading your article, I have found myself going back to my completed chapters once again, and looking for opportunities to add emotion. I don’t feel like this is productive. Any advice?
I hear you! I constantly rework and edit as I go along, and usually by the time I complete a draft, it’s finished except for proofreading. However, I always push to make progress. If you set a goal to write at least one scene, however rough, every time you sit down, you can give yourself permission to go back and noodle with whatever you’ve written–that scene or a prior one–to polish it more. But the point is to make progress. If the problem is you are “pantsing” and don’t have a strong outline such that you don’t know what your next scenes will be, that can cause a lot of procrastination. Work on a scene outline (with me!) and get it tight. Then it won’t create a barrier to you getting those next scenes written. Usually redoing scenes over and over is due to not feeling confident where the story is going 🙂
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Emotions in Writing: The Author’s Guide to Stirring Up Big Feels
If you know how to convey emotions in writing, you know how to draw your reader in, hold them captive, and make them remember you forever.
And if you think that sounds manipulative, my brother/writing partner once referred to this skill as the art of “jerking people’s emotions around.”
But he’s right, and we writers might as well own it. The only reason anyone picks up a novel is because they want to feel something.
Sure, fiction makes us smarter and more insightful. But let’s be real: the only reason it succeeds in making us think is because it first succeeds in making us feel .
So how do you become an all-powerful emotion wizard?
It’s all right here. You’re about to learn how to plot a story built for emotional resonance and draft scenes that speak to your reader’s soul. So… big stuff.
Let’s start feeling those feels.
Lay the Emotional Groundwork
The first rule of emotions in writing:
Set up your story to elicit big feels.
New writers especially tend to think building emotion is a matter of heartbreaking dialogue or shocking cliffhangers. And sure, that’s part of it.
But the fact is, it won’t matter how well you nail those micro details if the story itself doesn’t feel authentic and resonate with your reader.
So before we dive into the matter of bringing out emotions in your writing, let’s lay the groundwork for a powerful story.
Know How You Want Your Readers to Feel
What specific emotional experience are you trying to create for your readers?
Or to put it another way:
If you were going to read a book in your chosen genre, what would you want to feel?
Be specific, because specificity is your mightiest tool when it comes to conveying emotions in writing.
For example, you’d probably want the romantic subplot in an adventure novel to charm and delight you. Maybe even dizzy you up a bit.
But if you pick up a romance , you’re looking for a full-on swoon. Those love scenes had better make your heart race, make you breathless, make you believe in love again no matter what broken dreams lie in your past.
Revisit some of the books that made you want to write in your genre in the first place. Make notes about how you feel, when you feel it, and what the author did to spark those emotions.
Then, as you draft each new scene, go into it knowing exactly what you want your readers to feel so you can make it happen.
Establish Relatability
How are you going to get your reader to emotionally invest in your protagonist?
You’ve got to offer at least a glimmer of relatability, and you’ve got to do it early.
Fortunately, this is way easier than you might think. Your reader doesn’t need to see their actual life reflected in your story. They also don’t even need to see their personality reflected in your character. All they really need in order to relate is a glimpse of vulnerability. That’s it.
In White Ivy , Ivy Lin is a young Chinese immigrant trying to carve out a path to status and power in a cold new world. She’s a protagonist with a shockingly negative character arc , and I definitely do not recognize my life in hers.
But on page one, I learn two important pieces of information.
She feels invisible and she wishes she could trade her face for someone else’s.
These are near-universal vulnerabilities. Even though Ivy’s feelings are connected to the very specific experience of being an Asian immigrant in the U.S.—an experience I couldn’t claim to understand intimately—I can at least say there have been times in my life when I’ve felt invisible and unappealing.
This is why literature is such a powerful tool for empathy. Great books start with an emotional entry point. They show a character’s insecurities, fears, failings, or wounds, inviting the reader to say, “Oof. Yeah, I know that one.” Suddenly, the unfamiliar becomes the understandable.
Flesh Out Characters
Once you’ve hooked your reader’s heart by dropping some relatable vulnerabilities, follow through by making sure your characters are multi-dimensional creations.
This includes side characters and antagonists . You want your players to feel human (even if they’re not). This means they’ve got to have:
Compelling motivation
Also remember that your characters do not exist in a vacuum. They’re influenced by their upbringing, culture, economic class, race, gender, sexuality, ability, physical and mental health , and about a million other things. Let your reader see how your characters’ influences shape who they are.
On that note, backstory helps a lot as you build emotion into your story. What has your character been through? How has it shaped their perception of the world? What old wounds are they carrying?
This stuff can get pretty dense, but it’s worth putting in the work. I recommend checking out these two Dabble articles to get started:
How to Write Compelling Characters From the Inside Out
No Pain, No Gain: Giving Your Characters a Compelling (and Traumatic) Backstory
Get Readers Invested in the Outcome
So how does the actual plot factor into the process of jerking people’s emotions around?
The good news is that you’ve already done a lot of the heavy lifting in your character development. If your readers care about your protagonist, they’ll care what happens to your protagonist.
But you still need a plot that supports all your hard character work. This means:
Your major characters should face both external conflicts and internal conflicts. As the external conflict intensifies, it should heighten the internal conflict (and vice versa). You can learn more about how to do this here .
You continuously raise the stakes for your protagonist. With each new twist and turn, your hero(ine) has even more to lose.
The protagonist’s choices drive the plot. Don’t make your main character a constant victim of their circumstances. At best, a passive character will only elicit pity, which is the most boring of all emotions. Allow your very human protagonist to make choices that make the conflict worse.
It all makes sense. Logic has an important role to play when it comes to emotions in writing. A gaping plot hole or unsupported character decision will break the spell you’ve worked so hard to cast. For a great guide to plotting an airtight story, download our free ebook , Let’s Write a Book .
Now that you’ve designed your story to stir the soul, let’s get down to the details.
How to Convey Character Emotions in Writing
You’ve laid your foundation. Time to wipe the sweat off your brow and get into the nitty gritty.
Here’s how to bring your character’s emotions to life when you actually get down to drafting.
Use Sensory Details to Set the Mood
Conveying character emotions in your writing isn't just about telling the reader what your character feels.
It’s also about reflecting those feelings in the scene itself. This is especially true when it comes to your point-of-view (POV) character .
See, even if you write in third person, you still write through the lens of your character’s perception.
You might write in third-person limited , where you only show one character’s perspective at a time. Or you might write in third-person omniscient , which allows you to hop from one character’s POV to another’s. Either way, the character’s emotional state should be reflected in the scene you set.
For example:
“I just can’t marry you,” Daniel had said in the suffocating heat of his car.
So simple, right? One quick scene detail—”suffocating heat”—immediately puts us in Ivy’s shoes. We know what kind of hurt this break-up brings: the kind that makes it hard to think, hard to breathe, hard to stay calm. It's a hot, suffocating kind of heartbreak.
Now, the reason “suffocating heat” works so well to establish an emotional experience is because it’s a sensory detail. It’s concrete. Believe it or not, that’s the key to sliding your reader’s feet into your character’s emotional shoes.
We tend to think of “feelings” as abstract, but when it really comes down to it, we experience everything through physical bodies. We’ve built associations between what we feel in our hearts and what we see, hear, taste, smell, and feel on our skin.
That’s why, if you want to give your reader the heebie-jeebies, your best bet is not to tell them it was really scary in the alleyway, but to show them the long shadow of the broken fire escape ladder. The old advice “show, don’t tell” is really about giving your audience all the feels.
Get Into Your Own Body
Here’s another reason why sensory details are so essential to communicating emotions in writing:
We experience emotions physically. We know what we feel because our body tells us what we feel.
If you’ve never thought about this before, now is the time to start noticing.
What physical sensations arise when you feel angry? Anxious? Amorous? Try to notice. Write it down. Remember it when you’re trying to convey your character’s emotions.
This is honestly one of my favorite things about being a writer—the phenomenon of feeling and observing at the exact same time. I’ve had full-blown panic attacks where my inner writer was still there watching and murmuring, “Oh, interesting.” as she scribbled in her little notebook.
In addition to observing yourself, you can find great examples of how to convey the physical experience of emotion in any book that’s successfully sparked emotion in you .
But if you want the masterclass, check out The Sign for Home . Part of this novel is told through the POV of Arlo, a young DeafBlind man who experiences the world through physical sensation. The result is a lot of passages like these:
Electricity ignites all over your brain, causing the hair follicles on your arms and the back of your neck to vibrate.
You had never met the principal before, but his power was legendary. Your face felt hot. Your stomach tightened. You wanted to pee.
When our brains read passages like this, they register these physical experiences as if they were our own. We feel the vibration and, therefore, the excitement. We don’t put ourselves in the character’s shoes as easily when all we know is that the character was “psyched.”
Master the Art of Subtext
This is another skill that takes some real-world observation and a lot of novel-reading to master.
You probably know you can’t have your characters running around saying exactly what they feel all the time unless it’s an actual character trait. Real people don’t do that, so if your characters do it, your reader’s going to remember that this is all make-believe.
Pssheww! That’s the sound of your reader’s emotional connection exploding.
So then how do you help your readers hear what your characters aren’t saying?
One helpful fact about human beings is that we’ve developed a sort of subtext shorthand. We already have phrases that we know will signal our feelings without requiring us to do the dirty business of actually stating those feelings outright.
For example, here’s a line of dialogue from Seven Days in June with zero context.
“Fine. Go explain to Audre why you’re scared to try new things.”
You don’t need me to tell you anything about the scene in order to understand that the speaker is tired of the listener’s crap. Right?
So, as a writer, all you have to do is start noticing our universal shorthand for “I’m pissed” and “I’m jealous.”
You can also use the descriptions between lines of dialogue to clarify your characters’ states of mind. Here’s another passage from the same novel:
“What’s he like?” Shane knew he was going too far.
“Travis Scott?”
“Audre’s dad.”
Eva sat back in the booth, hard. She grimaced and massaged a temple with her knuckles. “He’s stable .”
Shane went further. “Where is he?”
“You tell me. Where do men go when they’re done?”
You can feel the tension, right? To create it, the author taps into Shane’s thoughts (as he’s the POV character in this scene) and Eva’s actions. (Not to mention that stinging line at the end.)
It also helps that the author has written vivid characters. By this point in the story, we know these people well enough to understand how they’re likely to feel in this conversation.
Incorporate Body Language
In the last example, Eva’s body language served as a clue that there were big feelings bubbling behind her measured words.
But body language and facial expressions aren’t just a subtext tool. They provide a window into a character’s state of mind in any given moment. Here’s Eva just standing around at a prestigious event right after unexpectedly running into Shane:
[The dress] had gotten tighter somehow, sucking at her like Saran Wrap. She kept shifting it around her hips.
In other words, she can’t get comfortable… physically or emotionally.
Now, there’s one big challenge when it comes to using body language to convey emotions in writing. Most of us end up falling back on the same all-too-obvious body language cues.
She wiped away a tear. He grinned. They shrugged.
My first drafts are positively riddled with shrugs and quiet smiles. A big part of polishing later drafts is going back over these boring descriptions and coming up with more specific, less repetitive details.
The Emotion Thesaurus is an extremely helpful tool for this. So is good ol’ fashioned real-life observation.
Banish Clichés
As long as you’re searching that first draft for overused body language and facial expressions, you might as well look for clichés , too.
Because when we’re trying to get the reader to experience an emotion, we start loading up the clichés.
A single tear fell from his eye. She glared daggers. Their heart shattered into a million pieces.
These phrases are so common they’re almost meaningless. We’re numb to them. Unfortunately, their prevalence also makes them the first thing that comes to mind when we’re trying to describe emotions in writing.
Keep pushing past the first thought. Maybe even the second and third, too. Play with metaphor and (once again) use the physical to make the emotional come alive.
When you do that, you can replace “They were meant to be” with passages more like:
With him, she was at ease: her skin felt as though it were her right size.
(That’s from Americanah , by the way.)
Trust Your Reader
Finally, be aware that it is possible to overdo emotions in writing.
Sometimes writers are so eager to make sure the reader connects with the character’s experience that they overload every page with feelings.
Emotional manipulation requires light touch. When a reader sees a lot of feelings talk, they stop seeing the story and start seeing the author frantically trying to tug at their heart.
Trust them to be smart enough to follow your subtext and the emotional logic of your story. When in doubt, invite your beta readers to tell you about their emotional experience of your novel.
Also allow your genre to inform how thick you want to lay it on. A noir mystery novel will probably take on a more cold and objective tone that only stirs curiosity and the occasional chill.
Romances, on the other hand, tend to do a lot of emotional check-ins.
Know your readers. This is all for them, after all.
Let Dabble Help You Become a Master Manipulator
Now you know how to build a story that resonates and bring it home with powerful prose.
You’ve probably also figured out that this can be a messy process. Dabble can help.
Dabble’s Plot Grid allows you to plan, review, and edit your entire plot in one glimpse so you can see your characters’ emotional journey clearly. Plus, handy features like Comments and Stickies help you stay on top of pesky clichés and excessive shrugging.
The best part? You can try all these features and more for free for fourteen days. No credit card required. How does that make you feel? Click here to get started.
Abi Wurdeman is the author of Cross-Section of a Human Heart: A Memoir of Early Adulthood, as well as the novella, Holiday Gifts for Insufferable People. She also writes for film and television with her brother and writing partner, Phil Wurdeman. On occasion, Abi pretends to be a poet. One of her poems is (legally) stamped into a sidewalk in Santa Clarita, California. When she’s not writing, Abi is most likely hiking, reading, or texting her mother pictures of her houseplants to ask why they look like that.
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Let’s Write Excitement and Nerves
Welcome to part three of the Writing Emotions series! You can check out the others here , and come back in two weeks for the next part.
Today we’re chatting about nervousness and excitement. Since these amount to the same thing in terms of body language, I figured I’d group them. Of course, there are some differences and straight up opposites – excitement warrants more smiling, for example, while nervousness often goes without smiling – but the general jitters are similar enough to cover together.
Excited/Nervous Body Language and Speech
Pacing (flight). Excited pacing will be more energised and bouncy, and probably a little faster than nervous pacing, which may involve slouching and slower movements.
Excited characters will use bigger movements, like arms slung wide or hands in the air, while nervous gestures could be smaller and closer to the body, or be jerky and erratic.
Stepping or swaying from side to side, or shifting the weight from one foot to the other, constantly shifting in a chair or crossing and uncrossing legs. Nervous characters do this to self-soothe (moving from side to side resembles the cradle) while excited characters do this because they have too much pent-up energy.
Nervous characters may freeze and back away when taken out of their comfort zones. Characters may also momentarily freeze when they receive exciting news.
Stoic characters will usually hide their nerves/excitement by stillness, so no fidgeting or small, controlled gestures and movements.
If stoic characters or characters trying to hide their emotions do fidget, it will be in small, unobtrusive motions. For example, they might assume a confident stance with legs spread and a straight back, fingers steepled, but they might rub a thumb over their other fingers in slow motions.
Grabbing onto someone or something, as if to steady themselves.
Rubbing the hands on thighs, stomach or butt. Any kind of rubbing is self-soothing, but when the hands are rubbed on clothing, it may be to clean sweaty palms.
Shaking hands.
Fidgeting. Tapping fingers or heels, bouncing knees, snapping fingers, twiddling thumbs, straightening clothing etc. In fact, many people subconsciously fidget to hide the fact that their hands are shaking (though some folks do just fidget out of habit).
As an extension of the point above, sitting on the hands, crossing the arms or sticking the hands under the armpits. Excited characters may also do this when they realise the extra energy is making them hyper, and are trying to calm down a little.
Both nervous and excited characters might start to subconsciously mirror other characters’ actions, as an attempt to hide or contain what they’re feeling. Eg, someone who was just hired for a job might be super excited, but still needs to look professional, so will start doing what the interviewer does to hide their emotions.
Touching the face, earlobes, neck, hair and mouth (especially when faced with their romantic interest).
A hand on the jugular notch (the hollow between the collarbones) or heart.
Concealing the mouth.
Hands joined in front of the body is a sign of anxiety and nerves, while hands behind the body are confident. Eg, excited characters will often sit back in their chairs, with their hands behind their head.
Rubbing or clapping the hands together.
Crossed fingers.
Fists. Excited people may pump their fists in the air, while nervous people tend to ball their fists by their sides.
Crossed arms with hands caressing the arms or sides.
Biting or picking fingernails.
Sucking or chewing (self-soothing). Anything from fingers to their own clothing, pencils or hair etc.
Looking elsewhere for help (to people or objects).
Looking away. A nervous mother will look in the direction where her child is paying every few moments, while an excited traveller might look at the subway tunnel every now and then while they wait for the train to arrive.
Looking at someone and looking away every so often, especially if it’s a romantic interest.
Peeking at someone through the fingers.
Tucked chin and hanging head for a nervous character, while an excited character’s chin will be lifted and the head is often thrown back.
Changes in speech that indicate an overactive mind. Stuttering more, pauses, cut off sentences, wrong words, repetitions of words or ideas, using words they wouldn’t normally use, more uhms and ahs . Basically, the character can’t form a cohesive thought.
Rise in pitch.
Faster or slower speaking.
Whoops or other exclamations.
Giggling or laughing at inappropriate times, or laughing more in general.
Many sighs. The excited sigh might be paired with a cancelling gesture, like a smile or clapping, while a nervous sigh will be more deflated, paired with slumped shoulders or shuffling feet.
Swallowing often.
Excited/Nervous Expressions
Smiling. The nervous smile is tight and doesn’t cause the skin around the eyes to crinkle, while excited smiles are wider, maybe with parted teeth and a protruding tongue. Excited characters smile often.
A stoic character might smile when they think no-one is watching, or bare a small smile to others.
Twitching mouth.
Licking the lips.
Lips pressed together.
Chewing the lip or biting the tongue/inside of cheek.
Blushing, the kind that reddens even the ears (especially when faced with a romantic interest). Excited characters are generally more flushed.
Wider eyes, especially eyes that widen momentarily every so often.
Dilated pupils.
Exhaling with puffed up cheeks.
Flaring nostrils.
Raised eyebrows.
Frowning while the face is tilted down.
What Excitement/Nervousness Feels Like
Fast, shallow breathing.
As a result of the previous point, you may yawn more.
Dry mouth OR rush of spit.
As always, a quick heartbeat.
Tingling skin, with goose bumps.
A churning stomach.
Rigid muscles.
Excessive sweating, cold sweat.
The need to move OR the need to be still.
Chaotic thoughts.
Nausea or an aching stomach.
Feeling like you have to urinate.
Feeling light (excited) or feeling heavy (nervous).
Feeling energised (excited) or exhausted (nervous).
Feeling zoned out.
Being overly aware of another person or a situation.
A last thought – both excitement and nervousness can rub off on other characters and they might begin to act nervous or excited too.
Please feel free to add anything else in the comments!
Learn how to convey excitement in writing with tips, tricks, and synonyms. Explore the nature, manifestations, and differences of excitement from other emotions.
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When it comes to creative writing, the right words can transform a static scene into a dynamic spectacle. To describe excitement, think beyond the usual and obvious. Use many adjectives and vivid imagery to evoke the senses and emotions. Describe the body language of your character—perhaps a broad grin, racing heart, or other physical ...
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EXCITEMENT
Moving about, being unable to stay still. Good-natured shoving and pushing. Waving the arms, using grand gestures. Drumming one's feet against the floor. Hugging, grabbing onto someone's arm and holding it. Bumping shoulders. Raising up or bouncing on tiptoe. Phoning or texting to share news or pass on the excitement.
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COMMENTS
Learn how to convey excitement in writing with tips, tricks, and synonyms. Explore the nature, manifestations, and differences of excitement from other emotions.
When it comes to creative writing, the right words can transform a static scene into a dynamic spectacle. To describe excitement, think beyond the usual and obvious. Use many adjectives and vivid imagery to evoke the senses and emotions. Describe the body language of your character—perhaps a broad grin, racing heart, or other physical ...
200+ Ways to Say "Excited": A Word List for Writers. Edgar Allan Poe said, "I need scarcely observe that a poem deserves its title only inasmuch as it excites, by elevating the soul. The value of the poem is in the ratio of this elevating excitement.". Wayne Dyer: "Van Gogh never made a penny in his entire lifetime.
Learn how to use exuberance, dog with two tails, pumped fist, twirled around, and more to express excitement in your creative writing. See examples of how to modify these phrases for your composition writing.
A list of ways to describe happiness, joy, contentment, hope, and gratitude in writing. Find examples of how to express emotions through internal monologue, dialogue, and actions.
Learn how to describe excitement in different scenarios with a variety of adjectives. Find positive and negative adjectives for excited, synonyms, antonyms, and example sentences.
Moving about, being unable to stay still. Good-natured shoving and pushing. Waving the arms, using grand gestures. Drumming one's feet against the floor. Hugging, grabbing onto someone's arm and holding it. Bumping shoulders. Raising up or bouncing on tiptoe. Phoning or texting to share news or pass on the excitement.
It is characterized by a heightened sense of energy, arousal, and engagement, and is often accompanied by physical sensations such as a racing heart, rapid breathing, and a surge of adrenaline. Excitement can be triggered by a variety of experiences, such as the anticipation of a new adventure, the thrill of a challenging task, or the joy of ...
Tip #1 - Use active voice. Choosing active voice (where a subject performs an action) over passive voice (where an action is done to a subject) enhances the emotional impact of your writing by emphasizing the person or thing responsible for the action. For example: Passive voice: "Yvette was betrayed by Marcos.".
No two characters should express emotion the same way. To avoid reusing tired gestures or slipping into telling, use this thesaurus to brainstorm fresh body language, visceral sensations, and thoughts to express your character's emotions in ways that make sense for them.
When you want to come up with unique body language, put yourself in the character's shoes and imagine the scene. Let yourself feel what they do, then set out to describe it. Thoughts are an excellent way to show emotion, as long as they adhere to the rules of POV. When swept up by emotion, our thoughts follow certain patterns.
When describing arousal in writing, it is important to consider the complexity of your text (perplexity) and the variation of your sentences (burstiness). When writing, think about how you can convey an aroused state in a way that is both captivating and understandable. To increase perplexity, try to include some longer or complex sentences ...
For example, riding a roller coaster can be a thrilling experience that gets your heart racing. Exhilarating: This word describes something that brings a feeling of joy, energy, and excitement. Skydiving can be an exhilarating activity that fills you with adrenaline. Electrifying: When something is electrifying, it generates a strong sense of ...
In your writing, use a variety of smiles to show different shades of happiness. Describe the way a smile transforms a face, how it feels to smile after a long day of sadness, or the effect of someone's smile on those around them. Examples: A slow smile that spreads like sunrise. Smiles exchanged over a cup of coffee.
Enthusiasm is closely related to Excited/Elated. If you need more ideas on how to express this emotion, have a look. Win your readers' hearts by tailoring your character's emotional responses so they're compelling, credible, and realistic. If you struggle with writing emotions, you aren't alone. has helped writers all over the globe ...
Being excited doesn't always feel like a positive experience, especially when it really takes a hold of someone! Using "antsy" is a great way to describe when your character's excitement has started to go out of control. 2. Bubbly Definition. Full of energy and enthusiasm. Examples
Show happiness through character body language. Body language is another way to show happiness in your writing. A happy character may have a spring in their step. They may walk at a quicker pace than usual, swinging their arms as they go. You might have a character fold their hands behind their head.
That's the advice Hemingway gave, and it's the best advice I've seen on the emotional craft of fiction: "Find what gave you the emotion . . . Then write it down, making it clear so the reader will see it too and have the same feeling as you had.". Hemingway's advice gives us the first step to learning how to manipulate readers ...
The people experiencing the excitement are exhilarated: It was so exhilarating to ski on the fresh snow. When we reached the top of the mountain, we were exhilarated and exhausted. Thrilling also means 'very exciting', and we talk about the thrill of doing something exciting. However, thrilled is almost always used in a more restricted way ...
Gripping: A feeling of overwhelming emotion and an almost uncontrollable excitement. Compelling: Something that is captivating and awe-inspiring. Sensational: Causing great interest among the public as well as excitement. Powerful: Used to describe any distinctive and beautiful impact on the mind or body.
Counselors tell us that thoughts lead to emotions, and emotions lead to actions. As a writer, you can easily show your character's thoughts and actions. Readers are smart enough to deduce the emotions based on what the characters think and do. So often it seems writers are in a hurry. When you have a very emotional scene, slow it down.
Unfortunately, their prevalence also makes them the first thing that comes to mind when we're trying to describe emotions in writing. Keep pushing past the first thought. Maybe even the second and third, too. Play with metaphor and (once again) use the physical to make the emotional come alive.
Feeling light (excited) or feeling heavy (nervous). Feeling energised (excited) or exhausted (nervous). Feeling zoned out. Being overly aware of another person or a situation. A last thought - both excitement and nervousness can rub off on other characters and they might begin to act nervous or excited too.