how to describe someone running in creative writing

How To Describe Running In Writing (100+ Words & Examples)

In almost every story, someone must run to, from, or for something.

Here is how to describe running in writing:

Describe running in writing by using vivid sensory details, dynamic verbs, and emotional resonance. Explain the stride, speed, and distance. Capture the physicality with words like pounding, swift, and effortless. Evoke the runner’s experience with phrases like heart racing and muscles burning.

In this guide, you’ll learn everything you need to know about how to describe running in writing.

1. Capturing the Essence of Motion

A man running in the forest - How to Describe Running in Writing

Table of Contents

To effectively describe running, focus on active language that vividly conveys motion.

Utilize strong verbs to depict movement and energy, and employ precise adjectives for intensity.

Reflect the run’s pacing in your writing’s rhythm. By understanding how to condense complex actions into concise descriptions, your writing becomes more engaging and dynamic.

Runner’s breathlessness as they sprint.
The sound of feet pounding against the ground.
The blur of passing scenery.
The dynamic movement of limbs in motion.
The sensation of wind rushing past.

2. The Role of Sensory Imagery

Sensory imagery is crucial in bringing running scenes to life.

Implement visual descriptors to detail the runner’s environment, use sound imagery to enhance realism, and incorporate tactile experiences to make the scene palpable. These details help create a vivid, multi-layered atmosphere that transports readers into the heart of the running experience.

Describing the texture of the running surface.
The rhythm of the runner’s breathing.
Visualizing the changing landscapes.
The feeling of sweat on the skin.
The sound of heartbeats syncing with footfalls.

3. Understanding the Mechanics of Running

Grasping the mechanics of running enriches your writing’s authenticity.

Explain stride, cadence, and posture, breaking down these aspects in your story. This technical understanding brings believability and depth, making your descriptions resonate with both runners and readers alike.

Stride patterns in different terrains.
Variations in cadence during a race.
The impact of different footstrikes.
Postural changes in long-distance runs.
Arm swing and its contribution to balance.

4. Emotional Resonance in Describing Movement

Creating an emotional connection with readers is key.

Infuse your descriptions with emotions and motivations that resonate. Use evocative language to articulate the physical and emotional journey of running, tapping into readers’ shared experiences and feelings.

The surge of adrenaline during a sprint.
The mental battle in endurance runs.
The euphoria of crossing the finish line.
The tranquility of a solitary jog.
The frustration and triumph in overcoming obstacles.

5. Utilizing Metaphors and Similes

Employ metaphors and similes to draw relatable parallels between running and familiar experiences. This approach adds depth and sensory details, making your scenes more engaging and easier for readers to visualize and connect with.

Comparing a runner’s speed to a rushing river.
Likening a marathon to a long, winding journey.
Describing a sprinter’s burst as a lightning strike.
Equating the rhythm of running to a beating drum.
Using a bird’s flight to describe a runner’s grace.

6. Breaking Down the Steps of Running

Detail each aspect of running, emphasizing pace and rhythm. This approach makes it easier for readers to visualize the action and feel the runner’s energy. Discuss stride, cadence, and tempo, dissecting these elements to paint a vivid picture of the running technique.

The transition from walk to jog to sprint.
Changing stride lengths in response to terrain.
The steady increase of cadence over a race.
The tempo variations in interval training.
The rhythm of footsteps in a consistent pace.

7. Pacing Your Narrative with the Running Sequence

Narrative pacing should mirror running’s rhythm. Use techniques like starting strong, creating contrasts, and building tension to make your descriptions dynamic. The strategic placement of key elements enhances clarity and engagement.

An explosive start to a race.
The gradual build-up of a long-distance run.
A sudden burst of speed in a sprint.
Moments of reflection during a cool-down.
The final push towards the finish line.

8. Character Response and Internal Monologue

Delve into your character’s thoughts and emotions during running. This adds depth and immerses readers in the narrative. Choose a narrative perspective and convey emotions and sensations, making your descriptions resonate with authenticity and emotion.

A runner’s self-encouragement during a challenging segment.
Inner turmoil in the face of fatigue.
The shift from doubt to confidence.
Reflections on personal growth during a run.
The decision-making process during critical race moments.

9. Adjusting Description for Different Contexts

Tailor your descriptions to match the context of the running scenario.

For competitive scenes, focus on intensity and speed, highlighting the athlete’s determination. In leisurely runs, emphasize the scenery and the sensation of freedom. Adapting your descriptions to the setting creates believable, engaging narratives.

The focused intensity of a runner in a competitive race.
The calm rhythm of a leisure run in a park.
The runner’s heightened awareness during a challenging trail run.
The relaxed posture and easy breathing in a recreational jog.
The strategic pacing in a marathon versus a short sprint.

10. Descriptive Techniques from Published Works

Analyze literary examples for inspiration and technique.

Look at how established authors use language to convey movement and emotion, drawing from their methods to enhance your own descriptions. Study their use of sensory details, emotional depth, and narrative pacing.

John L. Parker Jr.’s portrayal of the runner’s determination.
Haruki Murakami’s introspective running narratives.
Christopher McDougall’s descriptions of running environments.
Alan Sillitoe’s contrast of emotions and physicality in running.
The dynamic tension in competitive scenes from sports literature.

11. Highlighting the Runner’s Environment

The environment in which the run takes place can significantly impact how you describe the running experience.

From urban landscapes to nature trails, each setting offers unique elements to highlight. Describing the environment adds depth and context, making the running experience more vivid and relatable.

Running through a bustling city, weaving between pedestrians.
The serene experience of a trail run through a forest.
The harshness of running in a desert landscape.
The refreshing feeling of a morning run along a beach.
The challenge of running in snowy, winter conditions.

12. Exploring the Runner’s Physicality

Focus on the physical aspects of the runner.

This includes their running style, physical responses to the run (like sweating or breathing), and the overall physical exertion. Describing these details brings realism to the narrative, allowing readers to empathize with the runner’s physical experience.

The effortless gait of an experienced runner.
The labored breathing of a beginner pushing their limits.
The runner’s stride adjusting to uphill challenges.
The physical exhaustion visible in a marathoner’s final miles.
The sweat-drenched shirt of a runner in the summer heat.

13. Depicting the Psychological Aspect of Running

Running is as much a mental challenge as it is a physical one. Describe the mental strategies, focus, and determination that go into running, especially in competitive scenarios. This aspect adds another layer to your narrative, showcasing the complexity of the running experience.

The mental grit needed to continue in a grueling race.
The zen-like state achieved during a peaceful jog.
The runner’s internal monologue strategizing during a race.
The battle against mental fatigue in long-distance runs.
The euphoria and mental release post-run.

14. Incorporating Dialogue and Interaction

Introducing dialogue or interaction with other characters can add dynamism to running scenes. Whether it’s a conversation between running partners or internal dialogue, this element can provide insight into the runner’s personality and their experience.

Runners encouraging each other during a tough segment.
A coach shouting instructions to an athlete.
Internal debate about whether to keep running or stop.
Friendly banter in a community fun run.
Reflective thoughts during a solo run.

15. Using Running as a Metaphor

Running can serve as a powerful metaphor for life’s journey, personal growth, or overcoming challenges. Use running as a metaphorical tool to convey deeper themes or messages in your writing, making the act of running symbolic and thought-provoking.

Running as a metaphor for the journey of life.
A sprint representing the rush of a short, intense life event.
Endurance running symbolizing the perseverance in personal challenges.
The hurdles in a track race as obstacles in life.
The finishing line as a metaphor for achieving one’s goals.

Here is a good video about how to describe running in writing:

Best 30 Words to Describe Running

Below is a list of some of the best words to describe running in writing:

Exhilarating
Fleet-footed

Best 30 Phrases to Describe Running

Here are some of the best phrases for describing running in your story:

“Heart pounding like a drum.”
“Legs moving in a rhythmic dance.”
“Breath coming in ragged gasps.”
“Sweat cascading down furrowed brows.”
“Feet striking the ground with purpose.”
“Arms pumping in sync with strides.”
“Eyes fixed on the distant horizon.”
“Wind whispering past with each step.”
“Muscles burning with fiery intensity.”
“The world blurring in peripheral vision.”
“Pushing past the limits of endurance.”
“Adrenaline coursing through veins.”
“The rhythmic thud of sneakers on pavement.”
“Grit and determination etched on faces.”
“The final sprint to the finish line.”
“Dodging obstacles with nimble agility.”
“Like a gazelle bounding across the plains.”
“A blur of speed and power.”
“Pacing breaths to match strides.”
“Conquering steep inclines with steadfast resolve.”
“The euphoria of a runner’s high.”
“The steady tempo of a long-distance journey.”
“A dance with the elements of nature.”
“A solitary figure against the sprawling landscape.”
“Embracing the challenge with every fiber.”
“The silent language of a seasoned runner.”
“Navigating twists and turns with grace.”
“The exhilarating rush of wind in hair.”
“Finding solace in the rhythm of the run.”
“Leaving trails of dust in the wake.”

3 Full Examples of Running (from Different Genres)

Let’s look at three examples of how to describe running in writing from different kinds of stories.

1. Adventure Genre

In the dense jungle, Lara’s boots pounded against the wet earth, her breaths quick and shallow as she dashed through the undergrowth.

The sounds of pursuit were distant but growing louder. She leaped over fallen logs and dodged low-hanging branches, her heart racing as fast as her feet. Every muscle in her body was alight with adrenaline, driving her forward. Despite the danger, there was an exhilarating sense of freedom in her flight, a primal thrill in this race against time and enemy.

2. Romance Genre

As the sun dipped below the horizon, casting a warm golden hue over the beach, Emily ran along the shoreline, her bare feet splashing in the shallow waves. Her laughter mingled with the sound of the surf, a melodic symphony to Jack’s ears as he chased after her.

The wind tugged playfully at her hair, and she glanced back at him with sparkling eyes, her smile as captivating as the chase itself. In that moment, running felt like a dance, a joyous celebration of the connection they shared, unspoken yet profoundly felt.

3. Sci-Fi Genre

Through the neon-lit streets of Neo-Tokyo, Akira sprinted, his cybernetic legs propelling him at inhuman speeds.

Buildings and hovercars blurred into streaks of light as he weaved through the bustling crowds. His HUD displayed the rapidly closing distance to his target, every second crucial. The fusion of man and machine was seamless, his body responding to each command with precision and agility. It was a race against time, one that Akira was determined to win, the outcome not just a matter of pride, but of survival in this high-tech urban jungle.

Final Thoughts: How to Describe Running in Writing

Mastering the art of describing running in writing brings your narratives to vivid life, capturing the essence of motion and emotion. For more insights and writing tips, explore our other articles and continue honing your craft with us.

How to Describe Running in Writing

By A.W. Naves

Do you need advice on how to describe running in writing? In this post, we share 10 words that you can use to write a character running in a scene.

1. Sprinting

Hurrying, rushing ; running at full speed.

“He sprinted through the dark recesses of the forest , his heart pounding and breath ragged.”

“She could almost taste victory as she sprinted towards the finish line just ahead of her opponent.”

How it Adds Description

Sprinting conveys a sense of urgency, determination, and heightened physical exertion. It suggests that a character is engaged in a critical moment, racing against time, or pursuing a goal with great intensity. This shows readers that something significant is happening or about to happen, potentially leading to important developments or revelations in the story.

Trotting, galloping ; running at a steady, moderate pace.

“He could usually be found jogging along the beach, enjoying the soothing sound of crashing waves.”

“The cool breeze was a welcome respite while jogging in the park during the long, hot summer months.

The word “jogging” suggests a relaxed and steady rhythm, implying that the character is engaging in a regular exercise routine rather than sprinting or fleeing from a specific danger. It can be used to divulge information about the character’s behavior, lifestyle, and their level of fitness. This may also show that they are in familiar surroundings and not in peril.

3. Graceful

Nibble, lithe : moving with grace.

“She moved with graceful strides, her body gliding effortlessly over the rough terrain along the mountain trail.”

“His graceful footwork showcased his agility, allowing him to effortlessly navigate the obstacles on the course.”

The word “graceful” imparts a sense of elegance and poise. It suggests that a character possesses a certain level of finesse and control, transforming the simple act of running into a captivating visual. “Graceful” could also be used to illustrate that the protagonist is not merely running, but perhaps evading pursuers, executing a daring escape, or embarking on a significant quest.

Moving swiftly and energetically .

“He dashed through the crowded streets, weaving expertly between pedestrians and sidewalk vendors.”

“Nicole dashed up the stairs, her heart racing with anticipation at the thought of seeing her mother again.”

The word “dashing” implies that the individual is not merely running but doing so in a graceful and stylish manner. It conveys the character’s agility and confidence, suggesting that they possess certain exceptional qualities. This description may also hint at the character’s determination, inferring that they are in pursuit of an important goal or facing a critical situation.

5. Galloping

Running with a bounding, horse-like gait .

“The children galloped through the meadow, all giggles and mischief, as they tried to catch the rabbit.”

“Arthur galloped down the dirt road toward the crash, leaving a cloud of dust behind him.”

The word “galloping” lends a sense of speed, power, and determination to a character’s movements. It creates an image of a person running with long, powerful strides, reminiscent of a horse in full stride. This suggests that the person is running with great purpose, chasing after something, or fleeing from a threat.

Nimble, quick ; light-footed

“She ran through the market with agile movements, trying to reach the exit and get to the bus stop before it was too late.”

“Terry’s agile footwork allowed him to adapt to the changing terrain, maintaining his speed and efficiency.”

The word “agile” describes a person’s running style, emphasizing their dexterity. It hints at their physical prowess and sets the stage for exciting action sequences, creating anticipation for what lies ahead in the story, as readers wonder how their skills will aid them in their pursuit or help them evade potential threats.

Escaping, bolting ; running away from danger or a threatening situation.

“Fear drove their every step as they began fleeing through the dark forest to escape the beast.”

“The people were fleeing from the burning building, the smoke still choking their lungs as they made it to safety.”

The word “fleeing” adds a sense of urgency, fear, and desperation. It suggests that the person is attempting to escape from imminent danger or a threatening situation. By using this word, the plot is propelled forward by creating a conflict or perilous circumstance, driving the narrative, and prompting the reader to become invested in the outcome.

Running with long, easy strides .

“The wolf loped gracefully through the snow-covered landscape in search of shelter from the storm.”

“Peter loped along the trail, enjoying the peacefulness of the forest and observing the wild animals that scattered as he approached.”

The word “loping” evokes an image of a person effortlessly covering ground with a graceful gait. It contributes to the development of the plot by subtly revealing the character’s physical prowess or their familiarity with the terrain, indicating that they are capable of overcoming obstacles and moving swiftly through the story’s events.

9. Pounding

Running with a heavy and repetitive impact .

“His weary legs continued pounding along the marathon route, each step a struggle.”

“She kept pounding forward, her heart pounding in her chest, refusing to give up.”

The word “pounding” conveys a sense of force and power, suggesting that the person is running with great strength and determination, emphasizing the urgency and purpose behind the character’s actions. It hints at a significant event or goal that the character is pursuing, creating anticipation, and setting the stage for an upcoming plot development or revelation.

10. Frenziedly

Wild, chaotic ; moving in an uncontrolled manner.

“The panicked school children ran frenziedly in all directions, seeking safety from the attacker.”

“He ran frenziedly through the maze-like corridors, desperately searching for an exit.”

The word “frenziedly” illustrates that the individual is running at an almost frantic pace, displaying a lack of control or composure. This can evoke curiosity in the reader, urging them to find out what is driving the person to such an extreme level of frenzied movement. It infuses the narrative with a heightened sense of drama and accelerates the pace of the story.

how to describe someone running in creative writing

Write that Scene

May your writing spirit live on forever

How to Write a Running Scene

Make sure the location is already familiar to the audience before this scene. You might find it easier.

» A. You can either give basic details or full blown description.

I. Refer to certain places or landmarks before, that way they’ll paint a clearer picture than if you’re constantly stopping to describe the places the character’s running through. Example 1: The same store was located on Elmert Street for fifty years. It stayed open 24/7 with numerous entrances to take in the numerous shoppers. I went there on occasion. Today happened to be different. Up ahead, the city’s biggest store outlet with greenery planted as far as the eye can see, and where all the citizen’s shopped for the holidays. Only ten more days for Christmas and everyone, including John May, was excited. John May, a grumpy man, who some say was crazy, never got along with anyone, especially me. We were born to be enemies and nothing would change that.

» B. Tell the reader why the character is running early on, especially if you’re opening up the story with this scene.

I. Could it be that a monster is after them and they need to get to safety quick? Or maybe it’s a cold-blooded murder that has no remorse after killing the character’s friend. II. Another reason the character could be running is because they heard some good or bad news and they need to get to the place to hear further details? Overall, you decide. Example 2:

Walking my way over to the outlet, I notice a crowd gathering. Now, I happened to be pretty far but the sight was plain obvious. People from the Elmert Street store came rushing out to see for themselves.

“What’s going on?” I asked a stranger.

“Someone had a heart attack and they’re waiting for an ambulance.”

“Oh my god. Who?” I covered my mouth.

The stranger smiled. “John May.”

Gasp! Was my wish coming true? If he died this could be an early Christmas present. “I got to get over there,” I said, stretching my limbs and preparing to run. The outlet had to be half a mile away at least but this would be worth it. I needed to take pictures. If John May, the man who tortured me as a kid, called my mom names and made my young life a living hell, was finally about to die, then I had to see this. I just had too.

Make the reader feel connected to the character.

» A. Have the reader empathize with the pursued – rather than the pursuer.

I. Add more of how the character feels, their emotions and what they’re thinking; it will really emphasize the reality of this danger situation. II. Make the reader feel the protagonist’s fear. Keep things firmly from their point of view. Think of all the little details they might see when rushing by, the physical sensations of running from someone or something dangerous. III. How does he/she know the chaser is still behind them? What are the details of the threat? What is ahead of the character – what safe place are they trying to reach? IV. Imagine if the pursuer is so close the character can hear their breath! What about if the character inflicts injury on the pursuer? What about if it was the other way around? (How would this affect the rest of the chase?) Example 3:

Pushing my arms back and forth, I jetted to my destination, jumping over small pot holes, dodging insects that wanted to suck my blood clean, and pumping my legs as fast as they could go. Once I made it to the greenery, I zoomed under the shades of trees as if I was soaring like an eagle on a mission. No way was I going to miss witnessing John lying on the ground vulnerable. I just hope no one tries to help him up. Even worse, I hope the E.R. doesn’t make it in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, call me a jerk all you want but if you what John May did to not only me but the whole town, you’d be wishing far worse things for him, too.

The crowd was getting bigger; so many people were taking pictures and staring at what lied in front of them: a cold body; a bitter man; a lone ranger.

My breathing was labored, my legs were tired and the wind was just torturing my eyes. I wiped away several tears; not because I was crying. Don’t twist the truth!

» B. Write the chase out as a sequence of events, almost like mini-scenes.

I. First list what happens before you start writing, then you’ll always know where you’re heading. II. Adding events to a chase will increase the action and suspense. Be sure not to go overboard, though – it might end up sounding comical. Example 4: Then I saw it. The ambulance came rushing around the corner with their sirens on. Not good. I only had a few more thrust until I made, or so it seemed. I had to get to Mr. May before they did or I’d never forgive myself. I needed to see the miserable face of his, I need to soak it in for years to come.

What is the end result? What happens to your beloved character?

» A. Choose a way she is saved. Either by sheer luck or ingenious planning?

I. The pursuer can’t all of a sudden become tired, that is a lame way to get out a scene. However, if the pursuer is human they can’t show signs of fatigue. Maybe slowing down, breathing heavier or stopping momentarily to catch their breath. Meanwhile the protagonist is zigzagging, trying to get out of sight. Or, they could be banging on someone’s door for help. II. Don’t resort to Deus ex Machina. This means a random being or object just pops out of nowhere to save our frightened character. The reader will not like that. So, to avoid this I would recommend foreshadowing. Let’s say three blocks ago the character saw a knife on the ground (for some strange reason). Then maybe they can run all the way back to that particular block to go get the knife. To matters even more interesting would be if the knife wasn’t there anymore. III. Try not to reveal the ending through the character’s thoughts. You can give hints but don’t overwhelm the reader with random, unnecessary insight. Example 5:

Three more leaps and I made it. I threw my arms in the air for victory. Without much thought, I pushed people to the side, to get through the throng and over to John May. Not too long later my eyes beheld him, lying on the ground, stiff just like I imagined. The second I whipped out my phone to take a picture of him, his eyes opened and he stared straight at me.

“Joe,” he said, slowly, “I’m sorry.” And then he took his last breath. Soon the paramedics came in with a stretcher to collect the body. I didn’t know what to think. Many people were staring at me, wondering why Mr. May said what he said. I just shrugged my shoulders; I was in the same boat they were in.

» B. Will this be the end or will there be a twist?

I. You can add the fact that the chaser is working with someone else and he/she going to get the protagonist one way or another. II. Maybe the protagonist is actually a murderer who was running away from someone who wanted revenge. III. Adding a twist is not necessary, however, for a chase scene, it does make things more interesting. Maybe you can leave out the reason why the character is getting chased until the final sentences of the scene. Example 6:

I crossed my arms. Joe wasn’t even my name so why did he say it to me. My name was Trevor, everyone knew that.

“Trevor!” I heard a voice call out. “What was that all about.” It was my friend Jamison. He hated Mr. May almost as much as I did.

I began to walk away from the scene just like everyone else was. “I don’t know,” I said a bit irritated. “But, why do you think he had a heart attack?”

Jamison furrowed his eyebrows. “You don’t know?”

I shook my head. “What are you talking about?”

Jamison leaned over to whisper in my ear. Not a second later I backed away from him out of fear. “Tell me it isn’t true,” I shouted.

Jamison came up to me and put a solid hand on my shoulder. “You didn’t know what you were doing. You were sleep walking,” he said calmly. “No one has to know what really happened, okay?” A devious smile crossed his face. “One thing’s for sure…” he looked around to make sure no one was listening, “Mr. May deserved it.” Then he laughed an evil laugh.

!You might have to scroll down the textbox with your mouse!

The same store was located on Elmert Street for fifty years. It stayed open 24/7 with numerous entrances to take in the numerous shoppers. I went there on occasion. Today happened to be different. Up ahead, the city’s biggest store outlet with greenery planted as far as the eye can see, and where all the citizen’s shopped for the holidays. Only ten more days for Christmas and everyone, including John May, was excited. John May, a grumpy man, who some say was crazy, never got along with anyone, especially me. We were born to be enemies and nothing would change that. Walking my way over to the outlet, I notice a crowd gathering. Now, I happened to be pretty far but the sight was plain obvious. People from the Elmert Street store came rushing out to see for themselves.

I started running in the direction of the outlet. I hadn’t had a car so there was no point in me driving there. How could I anyway? My mind swarmed with so many questions. Did he die? Does this mean my life is going to be perfect now? Does he have children, if so are they going to sell if stuff because I want to? For a split second I actually had a heart and my eyes watered from the thought of someone dying. Or maybe that was just the wind since my feet were carrying me fast. Pushing my arms back and forth, I jetted to my destination, jumping over small pot holes, dodging insects that wanted to suck my blood clean, and pumping my legs as fast as they could go. Once I made it to the greenery, I zoomed under the shades of trees as if I was soaring like an eagle on a mission. No way was I going to miss witnessing John lying on the ground vulnerable. I just hope no one tries to help him up. Even worse, I hope the E.R. doesn’t make it in time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, call me a jerk all you want but if you what John May did to not only me but the whole town, you’d be wishing far worse things for him, too.

The crowd was getting bigger; so many people were taking pictures and staring at what lied in front of them: a cold body; a bitter man; a lone ranger. My breathing was labored, my legs were tired and the wind was just torturing my eyes. I wiped away several tears; not because I was crying. Don’t twist the truth! Then I saw it. The ambulance came rushing around the corner with their sirens on. Not good. I only had a few more thrust until I made, or so it seemed. I had to get to Mr. May before they did or I’d never forgive myself. I needed to see the miserable face of his, I need to soak it in for years to come.

Three more leaps and I made it. I threw my arms in the air for victory. Without much thought, I pushed people to the side, to get through the throng and over to John May. Not too long later my eyes beheld him, laying on the ground, stiff just like I imagined. The second I whipped out my phone to take a picture of him, his eyes opened and he stared straight at me.

5 thoughts on “ How to Write a Running Scene ”

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME CONTINUE THIS SCENE? I GOT AN IDEA BUT DON’T KNOW HOW TO DEVELOP IT:

She has amnesia yet chose to move on over figuring out who was. She has Ptsd she can’t recall incident but after a attack she met a man who scarily resemble the one in her head (This guy did actually hurt her btw but he wasnt in control of his actions in the slightest at the time. The duo were actually strong partners in a platonic sense). After he body tackled her out of the way of an attack he was trying to stop she noticed him and freaked out and is running from him and her old teammates thinking he is out to kill her or something. I haven t really mentioned what he looks like in this (his name is Bryar) and there are four other people with him. Feel free to change or exchange for your version. Plausible spring up panic/ ptsd attack would be appreciated but not minded. Thnx!

“Let me paint you a picture. The heart of a bustling city; the air awash with the smell of coffee and the sight of hundreds of people on the warm summer day. Now imagine this scene blurring past in an adrenaline infused dash of colours. A stray fiery haired woman, tall and lithe with bright hazel eyes, hurdle over a florist display and force themselves through the current of people in a bid to escape their pursuers. This is Veronica, and she isn’t alone. A glance back revealed her pursuers, her focus mainly on a tall man in blue with blonde near-silver hair. His piercing blue-grey eyes swept the crowd and fixed on her. Then she was facing forward and weaving through tables of an outside cafe.”

What is the goal of the scene? The outcome? What do you want to happened to both the main characters and then decided the steps to get there.

Maybe he catches up to her while the others run in different directions. He tries to convince her it is “him” a friend and she temporarily remembers but then starts to scream and he lets her go.

What obstacles do you want in the way and how are they affected?

Maybe there is people that are in the way and this man knocks them over to get to the woman. In turn, the woman sees this and becomes even more afraid. Now, she knocks down garbage cans and yells for help because she is convinced he is evil.

Or maybe the pursuer is kind to the people he passes and even helps an old lady across the street by carrying her on his back real quick. The woman running away sees this and has second thoughts. She probably even slows down to watch him do this kind act.

What is the map of the scene?

Have an idea of where you want the chase to go. Through the park, through a mall and then at a random lot. Or all on one long street. This is important because the readers need to know why is she still running instead of simply hiding or getting in a taxi.

For example: Melinda ran fast to the taxi in hopes of making a quick get away, but by the time she got an inch from the rear of the vehicle, the street light turned green and taxi sped ahead real fast, leaving an inhale of smoke for poor Melinda to endure. This gave the pursuer plenty of time to catch up, making Melinda even more panicked.

Lastly, how useful are these other teammates? Do they distract, hinder or help “Melinda” get away faster by their blatant stupidity. Do they have tricks up their sleeves to catcher her quicker, like gadgets of some sort? Do these gadgets remind the woman of her past?

Hope this helped!

I want to write a scene on a police chasing a suspect through the streets in the night without the use of cars. The police does not have his uniform on.

Were you able to get it started? If so, let me see what you have.

You should always Describe your character running by Letting your readers know about your character’s pounding feet, rising heart rate, and shortness of breath. All of this adds excitement.

I created this list of ways to describe people

because physical description, when done well, helps the readers see characters in their minds. But sometimes when you’re in the middle of writing, it can be hard to think of physical adjectives and distinguishing features for characters. I find that describing facial features can be especially tricky!

This long list of physical characteristics is kind of like a character description generator, and it’ll help you when you’re trying to think of how to describe a character’s appearance.

Young woman with pensive expression and long brown hair. "Master List of Physical Descriptions for Writers - pin or bookmark for future reference!"

Eyes – General

For all the words about describing facial features, I’m focusing more on physical descriptions rather than emotional expressions, though there’s a little crossover! You can also check out my long list of facial expressions.

heavy-lidded

fringed with long lashes

with sweeping eyelashes

with thick eyelashes

By the way, this post on how to describe (and not describe) the eyes of an Asian character is really great. Check it out.

Eyes – Color

Brown is the most common eye color by far. Green is quite rare.

chocolate brown

cocoa brown

coffee brown

sienna brown

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cornflower blue

Arctic blue

glacial blue

crystal blue

electric blue

slate blue / slate gray

storm blue / storm gray

silver / silver gray

concrete gray

gunmetal gray

Skin – Color

Josh Roby made a great chart of skin tones and descriptor words, and I got a lot of these words from him. You can get that here .

The quote from N.K. Jemisin interested me: “I get really tired of seeing African-descended characters described in terms of the goods that drove, and still drive, the slave trade—coffee, chocolate, brown sugar. There’s some weird psychosocial baggage attached to that.”

cream / creamy

rose / rosy

Skin – General

Some of these are better for the face, and some are better for other parts of the body.

translucent

luminescent

with large pores

weather-beaten

Face – Structure

heart-shaped

high forehead

broad forehead

prominent brow ridge

protruding brow bone

sharp cheekbones

high cheekbones

angular cheekbones

hollow cheeks

jutting chin

pointed chin

receding chin

double chin

dimple in chin

visible Adam’s apple

People don’t write much about noses, but they can be distinguishing features for characters!

Cupid’s bow

straight teeth

gap between teeth

gleaming white teeth

Facial Hair (or lack thereof)

clean-shaven

smooth-shaven

mutton-chop sideburns

a few days’ growth of beard

five o’ clock shadow

Hair – General

I threw a few hairstyles in here, though not many.

shoulder-length

neatly combed

slicked down / slicked back

buzzed / buzz cut

widow’s peak

Hair – Color

There are some repeats here from the eye color section!

salt and pepper

charcoal gray

brown sugar

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tawny brown

toffee brown

Titian-haired

strawberry blonde

butterscotch

sandy blond

fair-haired

Body Type – General

average height

barrel-chested

heavy / heavy-set

pot-bellied

full-figured

leggy / long-legged

broad-shouldered

sloping shoulders

stubby fingers

long fingers

ragged nails

grimy fingernails

ink-stained

This list and many more are in my book Master Lists for Writers: Thesauruses, Plot Ideas, Character Traits, Names, and More . Check it out if you’re interested!

Master Lists for Writers by Bryn Donovan #master lists for writers free pdf #master lists for writers free ebook #master lists for writers free kindle

And if you don’t want to miss future writing posts, follow the blog, if you aren’t already — there’s a place to sign up on the lefthand side of the blog. Thanks for stopping by, and happy writing!

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How to Describe Exercise in Writing: The Art of Expression

My name is Debbie, and I am passionate about developing a love for the written word and planting a seed that will grow into a powerful voice that can inspire many.

Have‍ you ever been captivated by the ⁢description of⁤ a vigorous dance⁣ or the intense workout routine of a fictional character? The ‌art of describing exercise in writing holds the ability to transport readers into the realm of physical exertion and awaken their senses. Whether you’re a budding writer looking⁤ to add depth to your⁣ action scenes or simply a fitness enthusiast seeking new ways to express the exhilaration of a workout, understanding the various facets of this⁢ art form is crucial. In this article, we will explore the intricacies of describing exercise in writing, unlocking the potential to inspire, motivate, and engage readers on a whole new ‍level. So, ⁤dust off your keyboard and join us on ‍this journey into the captivating ‍world of the written word and physical⁣ movement.

Differentiating‌ Exercise Styles: From Cardio to Strength Training

Conveying‌ the physical sensations of exercise, techniques for describing exercise movements with clarity, the importance of capturing⁤ the ⁣emotional⁣ experience⁣ of exercise, enhancing descriptions through metaphors and vivid⁣ language, translating‍ exercise intensity levels ⁤into words, using descriptive phrases ‍to depict exercise routines, 1. ⁣energetic cardio blast, 2. zenful yoga flow, overcoming challenges in describing exercise: tips and strategies, frequently asked questions, future outlook.

When it comes to fitness, there are a multitude of exercise styles to choose from, each offering unique benefits and targeting different aspects of our physical well-being. Understanding the differences between cardio⁣ and strength training is essential for ⁣creating a comprehensive workout routine that suits your goals and preferences.

Cardiovascular exercises:

Cardio exercises primarily‌ focus on getting your heart rate up and‌ improving your cardiovascular endurance.
These exercises include activities such as running, jogging, cycling, swimming, and high-intensity‍ interval training (HIIT).
Cardio workouts help⁣ burn calories, improve lung⁢ capacity, lower the risk of heart disease, and increase overall stamina.
They are great for weight⁣ loss and enhancing your overall cardiovascular ⁤fitness.

Strength training exercises:

Strength training exercises aim to⁢ build ⁣and⁤ strengthen your muscles.
These exercises‌ typically involve lifting weights, using resistance bands, or using your body weight for resistance.
Strength training helps increase⁤ muscle mass, enhance bone density, ‍improve‍ joint mobility, and boost metabolism.
They are beneficial for improving⁢ overall strength, posture, and preventing injury.

By⁣ incorporating both cardio⁣ and strength training into your fitness routine, you can achieve a well-rounded workout experience. Remember, the key is⁢ finding the right balance that suits your body and goals. So lace up those running shoes or grab those dumbbells – the world of exercise is yours to explore!

When it comes to exercise, the body⁢ experiences a wide range of physical sensations that can leave you feeling both invigorated and fatigued. These sensations⁤ are proof that your ⁤body is working hard and adapting⁣ to ‌the demands you place upon it. Let’s explore some of these sensations that you may experience during your workout sessions:

Increased heart rate: ‌ As you engage ⁤in physical activity, your⁤ heart beats ⁢faster to supply oxygen-rich blood ⁣to⁢ your muscles. This increased heart rate is a sign that your cardiovascular system is working efficiently.
Rise in body temperature: While ⁣exercising, your body generates heat, causing your core temperature to rise. This is a normal response as your body ⁢burns calories and begins to sweat, helping you cool down.
Endorphin release: You may feel a surge of endorphins during and after exercising. These natural chemicals produced‌ by your brain can create a feeling of euphoria ‍and contribute to the “runner’s⁤ high” sensation.

Additionally, exercise may also bring about physical ⁢sensations related to fatigue and muscular exertion:

Muscle soreness: Delayed onset muscle soreness (DOMS)‌ is⁢ a common sensation after engaging in intense⁣ or unfamiliar ‍exercise.⁣ It is characterized by ‌a dull‍ ache in the muscles, which typically subsides within a few days.
Shortness ‌of breath: As your body demands‌ more oxygen during an intense ‍workout, you ⁢may⁣ experience shortness of breath. This is your body’s way of ensuring it gets sufficient oxygen to fuel your efforts.
Increased perspiration: Sweating is your body’s mechanism to regulate temperature. During exercise, you may notice an‍ increase in perspiration as your body tries to cool itself down.

Techniques for Describing Exercise Movements with Clarity

When⁢ it comes to describing exercise movements, clarity is key to ensuring that individuals perform the ‍exercises correctly and⁢ maximize their workout ⁢potential. Here are some techniques ⁤to help you clearly explain exercise movements:

1. Break it down: Start by breaking down the movement into ⁣its ⁢key components. Identify the starting position, the movement itself, and the ending position. Breaking ⁢it down ⁢into smaller steps makes it⁣ easier for individuals to understand.

2. Use descriptive⁢ language: Paint a vivid picture with your words. Use descriptive language to clearly communicate not only the⁤ action ‍but also the engagement⁤ of specific muscles and body parts.‍ For example, instead ⁣of⁢ saying “lift the weight up,” you can say “grasp the weight firmly in your palm and lift it towards your chest, engaging your biceps.”

Enhancing your workout by capturing⁣ the emotional ⁤experience

Exercise is not just about physical fitness; ⁤it is a holistic ‌experience that encompasses‍ the mind, body, ‌and soul.⁤ Often overlooked, capturing the emotional aspect of exercise is crucial for maximizing the benefits and ⁣achieving a sense of overall⁤ well-being. Here’s why understanding and embracing the ‍emotional side of your workouts‌ is key to reaching your‍ fitness goals:

Motivation and inspiration: By acknowledging and tapping into your emotional experience, ⁢you ⁢can harness powerful motivation and‌ inspiration to push⁢ through challenging workouts. Remembering the joy you felt achieving a ⁤personal best or the satisfaction of conquering a fitness milestone can serve as a constant reminder of ⁢what you are capable of.
Stress reduction: Exercise has long been ⁤touted for its stress-relieving benefits, and capturing the emotional experience amplifies those effects. Whether⁢ it’s the ‍release of endorphins or the sense‍ of satisfaction and accomplishment, being ⁣in touch with your emotions during exercise ⁣can significantly alleviate daily stress, allowing you to leave each workout ‌feeling rejuvenated.
Increased self-awareness: ⁤ Paying⁣ attention to your emotions while exercising can lead to a deeper understanding of your mind-body connection. This heightened self-awareness allows you to recognize the impact your thoughts and emotions have on ⁣your physical performance, helping you make necessary adjustments and improvements.

Don’t let the emotional side of exercise go unnoticed. Rather than solely focusing on calories burned or muscle gains, take the time to acknowledge and embrace your emotional journey throughout each workout. ‍By doing so, you will unlock a new level of fulfillment and satisfaction in your fitness routine, ultimately ‍leading to ⁣a more well-rounded and rewarding⁢ exercise experience.

Enhancing Descriptions through Metaphors and Vivid Language

When it comes to describing something, using metaphors and⁢ vivid language can add a whole new dimension to your writing. Metaphors allow you to make comparisons and draw connections between two seemingly unrelated things , ⁢giving your description depth and injecting it with creativity. By likening one thing to another,⁢ you can convey complex emotions, sensations,⁢ or concepts in a way that is relatable ‌and visually ‍compelling.

To enhance your descriptions, consider incorporating vivid‌ language that‌ appeals to the senses. Instead of simply stating that⁣ a room is clean, you could say that it ‌sparkles like a⁣ polished diamond, instantly painting a clear picture in the ⁢reader’s mind. Using⁣ colorful adjectives, such as radiant, vibrant, or velvety, ‌can infuse your descriptions with life and make them more engaging. Additionally, incorporating sensory details like the scent of freshly cut grass or the sound of crashing waves ⁣can transport readers into your world and make your descriptions more immersive.

Translating Exercise‍ Intensity Levels into⁣ Words

When it comes to describing exercise intensity levels, it can ‌sometimes be challenging to put them into ⁣words. However, understanding these levels is crucial for setting fitness goals and tracking progress. To help you navigate this, we’ve created a guide‌ to help translate exercise intensity levels into words, making it easier for you to‌ communicate and⁣ understand your workout⁢ routine.

Intensity levels can be described using ‍different words, such as:

Low: This level signifies a light and⁤ comfortable workout, where you can easily maintain a conversation.
Moderate: Moderate intensity means you’re working hard enough to break ⁤a sweat and slightly increase your breathing rate. You can still carry on a conversation, but it might be a bit more challenging.
High: This level indicates a vigorous workout that leaves you breathing heavily, unable to hold a conversation easily. You’ll likely⁣ break a sweat quickly and feel challenged throughout.
Maximum: ⁤Maximum intensity represents an all-out effort where you’re pushing your limits. Breathing becomes rapid and labored, and ⁣it’s nearly ⁣impossible to talk.

It’s important to ‌note⁤ that everyone’s fitness level is different, so what may⁢ feel moderate for one person could be challenging for ‌another. Monitoring your heart rate can also be helpful in determining⁣ your exercise intensity level. Regardless, understanding and using these words can help you communicate and track your progress with more‍ accuracy, ensuring an effective and enjoyable workout routine.

Using Descriptive Phrases to Depict Exercise Routines

When it⁣ comes ‌to describing exercise routines,⁢ using ⁣descriptive phrases can ⁤bring them to life and make them more‌ engaging. These phrases can vividly portray the intensity, variety, and overall experience of different workouts. By utilizing descriptive language, you can paint a picture in the reader’s mind and motivate them to try out these routines themselves.

Pump up your heart rate with this high-energy⁢ cardio routine ⁤that will leave you feeling invigorated. Picture yourself drenched in sweat as‍ you jump, kick, and ‍move your body to the beat of the music. This heart-pounding workout will get your blood ‌flowing, boost your endurance, and torch those‌ calories, all while having a blast. So get ‍ready to unleash your inner dancer‌ and feel the burn!

Escape the ⁣hustle and bustle ‍of everyday life with this serene⁢ yoga flow⁢ that will leave you feeling centered and balanced. Picture yourself in a peaceful setting, surrounded by nature, as you move through a sequence of gentle poses. With ‍each ‍inhale and exhale, you’ll ⁤feel‌ a deep sense of relaxation and tranquility‌ washing over you. This yoga routine is perfect for melting away stress, improving flexibility, and finding inner peace.

Overcoming Challenges in ⁢Describing Exercise: Tips and Strategies

Describing exercise can sometimes be a daunting task, especially when trying ⁢to ⁣convey the intricacies and nuances of physical movements. However, with the right tips and strategies, you can overcome these challenges and effectively communicate the essence of various exercise routines to your audience.

1. Use vivid and descriptive language: Paint⁤ a picture with your words by using vibrant adjectives and adverbs to convey ⁢the intensity, speed, ‌or grace of different exercises. For example, instead of simply saying “do lunges,” you can describe them as “performing wide, graceful strides forward, one leg at a time,⁢ while maintaining ⁢an upright posture.”

2. Break it down step by step: Complex exercises can often feel overwhelming to describe, so breaking them down ‌into smaller, more manageable steps is a fantastic strategy. This allows your audience to grasp each movement individually and then put them together for a complete picture. ⁣Make use of bullet points or ⁤numbered ‍lists to detail each⁤ step, providing clear instructions that are easy to follow.

Q: Why is it ⁢important⁤ to describe ⁤exercise ⁢in writing? A: Describing exercise in writing is important because it allows the reader to visualize and understand the physical activity. It can inspire ‌and motivate others to engage in exercise or provide insights into the⁤ benefits and techniques involved.

Q: How can I effectively ⁣describe exercise in‌ writing? A: To⁤ effectively describe exercise in writing, it’s crucial to focus on the sensory details. Include vivid descriptions ⁤of how the body moves, the physical ⁣sensations experienced during the exercise, and the overall impact on the individual’s well-being.

Q: Are there specific words or phrases‍ that⁣ can⁣ enhance the description of exercise? A: Absolutely! Including specific action verbs ⁣such as “sprint,” “jump,” or ‌”stretch” can add dynamism to your writing. Furthermore, adjectives like “energetic,” “exhilarating,” or “invigorating” ‍can convey the intensity ‍and excitement of the exercise.

Q: Should I include technical terms when describing exercise in writing? A: While it’s essential to strike a ‍balance, it’s generally advised to minimize technical jargon, especially if your‍ intended audience ⁣is not familiar⁢ with ⁤specific exercise terminology. However, including essential terms and providing simple explanations can ⁢add credibility and educate ⁤the reader.

Q: How ⁣can I convey‍ the positive effects of exercise through writing? A: To convey the positive effects of exercise, focus on the before-and-after scenario. Describe how⁤ exercise boosts energy levels, relieves stress, improves mood, enhances strength, and promotes overall well-being. Personal anecdotes or⁢ testimonials can also be powerful in illustrating the transformative impact of exercise.

Q: ⁤Can you provide an example of effectively describing⁢ exercise⁢ in writing? A: Certainly! Here’s an example: “As I laced up‍ my running shoes, I felt a surge of excitement fill my body. With each stride, I could feel my muscles awakening, propelling ⁣me forward like a well-oiled machine. The wind played with ⁣my hair, and the rhythmic pounding of my ‌footsteps‍ was music to my ears. Running through the lush green park , ⁤I could sense my⁢ worries drifting away, replaced by a sense of clarity and renewed energy.”

Q: How long should the description of ⁤exercise be? A: ⁣The length of the description is subjective and depends on the overall context and purpose of your writing. A few well-crafted sentences‌ might be ⁤sufficient in some cases, while others⁣ may benefit from a lengthier and more ⁤detailed description. ⁣It’s important to strike a ‍balance to maintain the reader’s interest and keep the writing engaging.

Q: Is it more effective to describe exercise from a personal perspective? A: Describing exercise from a personal⁤ perspective can be highly effective in engaging the reader. Sharing your own ‍experiences, emotions, and the impact exercise has had on your life can make‍ the description relatable and authentic. However, depending on the context, it ⁢may also be necessary to generalize the description to make it applicable to a broader audience.

Q:⁤ Any tips‍ for incorporating exercise description into a larger piece of writing? A: ⁤When incorporating exercise descriptions into a larger piece of writing, ensure that the description seamlessly integrates into the overall flow of the piece. Use transitional phrases to link the exercise description to the ⁣surrounding content. Additionally, maintain consistency⁤ in style and tone throughout the ‍entire writing to ensure a ⁣cohesive and engaging read.‌

In conclusion, mastering the art of describing exercise in writing is essential for effectively‌ communicating movement and engaging readers.

What Is a Writing Copia Exercise? Creative Writing Insights

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At Creative Writing Prompts, we believe in the power of words to shape worlds. Our platform is a sanctuary for aspiring writers, seasoned wordsmiths, and everyone. Here, storytelling finds its home, and your creative journey begins its captivating voyage.

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WRITERS HELPING WRITERS®

Helping writers become bestselling authors

Setting Description Entry: Forest

August 23, 2008 by BECCA PUGLISI

green, brown, dead fall, fallen trees, logs, branches, twigs, fallen leaves, ferns, underbrush, moss, brambles, thickets, ivy, berry bushes, pine needles, pine cones, acorns, insects, rabbits, birds, squirrels, lizards, mice, foxes, spider webs, deer, sun-dappled, shady, shafts…

Sounds branches creaking, feet shuffling through detritus, squirrels chattering, leaves rustling, wind whistling around trunks/disturbing the leaves, birds singing, insects humming/ churring, rustle of animals rooting in underbrush, scrabbling of lizards on tree bark, limbs..

Smells tree smells (pine, etc), wildflowers, earthy smell, animal scents, rotting wood, fresh, stale, dry, damp, wet, scents on the wind from nearby places (water, wood smoke, ocean), wild mint/herbs, decay (bogs, stagnant pools of water, dead animals), skunks, skunk weed…

Tastes earthy air, sweet/sour berries, nuts, mushrooms, wild onions, seeds, bitter, mint, gritty, mealy, meaty, relish, savor, sample, salty, acidic, sweet, flavorful, sour, tart, flavorless, swallow, mild, nutty, relish…

Touch rough tree bark, kiss of falling leaves, branches slapping, uneven ground, knobby roots underfoot, sticky sap, underbrush that tangles/grabs, prickle of briars, slick leaves, twigs snagging at hair/scratching face, tickle of hanging moss, spider web strands on skin, soft…

Helpful hints:

–The words you choose can convey atmosphere and mood.

Example 1: I lifted my face, letting the light and shadow dance across my skin. Bees hummed in and out of the pennyroyal. I inhaled its minty smell and continued on, delighting in the sound of my feet sliding through the leaves.

–Similes and metaphors create strong imagery when used sparingly.

Example 1: (Simile) The trees lashed and crashed against each other like drum sticks in the hands of a giant…

Does your setting take place at night? Check out this similar Entry: WOODS AT NIGHT

Think beyond what a character sees, and provide a sensory feast for readers

Setting is much more than just a backdrop, which is why choosing the right one and describing it well is so important. To help with this, we have expanded and integrated this thesaurus into our online library at One Stop For Writers . Each entry has been enhanced to include possible sources of conflict , people commonly found in these locales , and setting-specific notes and tips , and the collection itself has been augmented to include a whopping 230 entries—all of which have been cross-referenced with our other thesauruses for easy searchability. So if you’re interested in seeing a free sample of this powerful Setting Thesaurus, head on over and register at One Stop.

On the other hand, if you prefer your references in book form, we’ve got you covered, too, because both books are now available for purchase in digital and print copies . In addition to the entries, each book contains instructional front matter to help you maximize your settings. With advice on topics like making your setting do double duty and using figurative language to bring them to life, these books offer ample information to help you maximize your settings and write them effectively.

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of The Emotion Thesaurus and its sequels. Her books are available in five languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers —a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.

Reader Interactions

October 11, 2021 at 6:06 am

That helped me a lot!

October 7, 2021 at 2:08 pm

I love descriptive writing but can you help me to write a forest setting description?

February 26, 2021 at 10:01 am

Thank you for this great help…☺️☺️

February 23, 2021 at 4:37 am

Thanks this helped a lot!

January 19, 2021 at 1:39 am

Lovely book, It helped me a lot thanks

August 19, 2020 at 10:54 pm

Are you lovely ladies planning to put these descriptions into an ebook? I’m enjoying all seven of your thesaurus books.

August 20, 2020 at 8:13 am

Hi, Michelle! I’m so glad you’re enjoying our books. Are you asking when the setting thesaurus is going to be turned into a book? If so, you’ll be happy to know that those books are published and available. You can find ebook information on our Bookstore page. https://writershelpingwriters.net/bookstore/

If you have other questions or need to clarify anything, just let us know!

July 13, 2020 at 8:35 pm

OMG! This is powerful. God bless you richly. Please ma, can you help me to proofread my short fiction. I’m begging in the name of God. I have written a short fiction, but no one to help me to proofread it. [email protected] . Thanks in anticipation.

July 14, 2020 at 10:44 am

Sorry, we are unable to do that, but if you join a writing group or have a good critique partner, they should be able to help you. Good luck and all the best. 🙂

May 21, 2020 at 4:59 pm

amazing thankyou so much 🙂

March 11, 2020 at 3:19 pm

thanks! these will help a lot with the forested settings in my book series: the elemental masters.

June 26, 2020 at 5:42 am

Oh wow, your books are absolutely amazing. I’ve read all of them

March 9, 2020 at 1:50 am

Thank you for this, however, could you also do the same setting description based on the setting of a beach? That would be extremely helpful for me. THank yoU!

March 7, 2020 at 10:28 pm

Hi, this is extremely helpful, but could you make another setting description, the same as this one, except about a beach scene? That would be super helpful for me. Thanks!

March 8, 2020 at 1:56 pm

Hi, Stacey! We actually do have a Beach entry. You can find it here: https://writershelpingwriters.net/2008/09/setting-thesaurus-entry-beach/ . And our TOC also contains a list of the entries you can find here: https://writershelpingwriters.net/occupation-thesaurus/

But if you’re looking for settings that we don’t have, you might consider checking out our website, One Stop for Writers. All of our thesaurus collection are there, and most of them have been expanded to include additional entries. For instance, here is the complete list of setting entries you can find at One Stop: https://onestopforwriters.com/scene_settings

Best of luck to you!

March 9, 2020 at 5:47 am

Thank you so much Becca, i just really appreciate it, i love the websites you gave me and it is simply WONDERFUL!!!

March 6, 2020 at 3:12 am

This is wonderful, thank you! Very helpful!

October 24, 2019 at 6:10 am

IT FANTASTIC

January 1, 2019 at 7:15 pm

this really helped me. thank you lol 🙂

July 12, 2017 at 1:21 pm

I am helping a friend open a bar in a small town…the lifestyle here is of the following: Fishing, boating on our two rivers….Wabash and Tippecanoe and hunting deer. Cannot come up with a name to incorporate both of the passions our customers would enjoy. I have gone to your description setting entry for ideas…but just can not gel together this duo!!! Help?

July 12, 2017 at 8:00 pm

Hi, Patti. I’m sorry, but I’m not clear on what you’re after. Are you looking for help coming up with a name for a fictional town?

October 5, 2014 at 2:41 am

THANKS VERY MUCH FOR SUCH A WONDERFUL WORK. MY DAUGHTER WILL HAVE A GOOD RESOURCE OF DESCRIBING WORDS.

February 29, 2012 at 1:40 pm

Thank you so much for this! I have been struggling with my forest scenes for the longest time, stuck on the same small handful of descriptors–this is brilliant. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

May 1, 2011 at 4:48 pm

Thank you very much for these amazing words! keep the work up!

March 7, 2011 at 7:54 am

Thank you so much. These beautiful words makes picturing a scene extremely easy.

February 1, 2011 at 2:13 pm

I absaloutly loved thease words i really needed them to help me get my English paper to life

January 25, 2011 at 6:47 am

It’s a great Help for me. I was looking for such post that could give some interesting wording to describe a greenery and forest scene.

Thank you very much 🙂

April 7, 2010 at 6:13 am

I showed my teacher and she said you rocked. Thank you 🙂

March 26, 2010 at 2:52 pm

Great help for my book! Thank you!

December 13, 2009 at 12:30 pm

Thanks. Great Guide for a descriptive piece of writing A*

December 11, 2009 at 12:26 am

Creatively helpful , specially to beginning writers like me. Thanks for this web.

October 2, 2009 at 10:38 am

very helpful thanxx cood u include more sentance exxampils thanx that wood be helpful! miss m

September 23, 2009 at 11:35 am

April 21, 2009 at 8:29 pm

I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! Just what I am writing about!!! THANKS!!!!!!!

August 24, 2008 at 1:17 pm

Thanks for the kind words. When Angela and I started this blog, one of our main goals was to keep it relevant to writers. Glad to know we’re doing alright on that front :).

August 24, 2008 at 12:07 pm

This is fabulous!! I love it!

August 23, 2008 at 8:02 pm

Angela and Becca, you one-hit wonders, you’ve done it again! You’re very good at relating to the reader (and making it easy on the writer).

August 23, 2008 at 5:51 pm

Great job. And I really like the drumsticks simile.

August 23, 2008 at 10:45 am

So perfect! Thanks! I love the simile and metaphor section!

[…] Forest […]

[…] is a forest entry already, but I think that at night the woods can be an entirely different setting, full of mystery […]

Aaron Mullins

BESTSELLING BOOKS – AUTHOR RESOURCES

How to Describe People

Unlock the power of words with this guide for authors on crafting remarkable character descriptions . As authors, we understand the profound impact that well-crafted characters can have on a story. The art of describing people goes beyond mere physical appearances; it delves into the intricacies of personalities and emotions that bring narratives to life. That’s why learning how to write physical descriptions of your story characters is a key author skill.

And to be a great writer ‘ how to describe people in stories ‘ means thinking beyond the basic physical descriptions of height, age, body shape, hair and eye colours. Each of these aspects can show personality and set the tone of a story, so it’s important to learn how to describe a character’s appearance in writing . This writing guide for authors will help you to really bring your unique characters to life and build a clear picture in the minds of your readers, but in a way that doesn’t sound generic and forced.

Bookmark this page and use this handy list of character descriptions to build your perfect protagonists!

Join me as we explore the essential techniques and strategies for authors to master the skill of character descriptions. From creating vivid profiles to weaving character traits seamlessly into your storytelling, we’ll navigate the terrain of effective characterisation and soon you’ll be writing believable characters in your novels.

How to describe people is a list of useful adjectives for describing your story characters, with examples of how to describe their appearance in your story. Words that describe people are used to build physical appearance and reveal character, helping your book to have vivid, memorable characters, through effective character description.

How to Describe a Character’s Physical Features

One tip for writing descriptive characters is to make it match your story. If you’re writing a short story, then you may get away with never revealing some aspects of your character’s physical descriptions, if it isn’t moving the plot forwards. Regardless, you can choose a few key features to emphasise, and perhaps even utilise a well-placed simile to really make the reader’s imagination paint the picture for you.

Simile Examples: Her hair was like a flame. She looked as American as apple pie.

When using simile’s and using descriptions in general, it’s important that they match the behaviours and personality of your character, as well as the overall tone of your story, to ensure you are writing believable characters.

To craft compelling character descriptions, you may even want to employ the power of psychology through the use of euphonics to emphasise the perfect description. You can learn more about the importance of euphonics and find guidance on how to use them in How to Write Fiction: A Creative Writing Guide for Authors.

Tips to Describe Characters in Your Writing

So what are some writing tips to slip these character descriptions into our books in a natural way? If you’re writing from a first person perspective, one descriptive writing technique is to have the narrator ‘speak their mind’ regarding particular looks or traits, passing comment on either themselves or another character.

First Person Narrator : I’ve always been proud of my soft blonde hair.

Another way to write effective character descriptions is to reveal physical characteristics in a natural way while describing your character’s actions. This can be either physical traits (such as hairstyle) or the way a character moves that gives descriptions of their body type.

Describing Actions : She ducked under the archway, knocking loose strands of her high, tight bun.
Describing Actions : His height was accentuated by his stiff gait.

A great tip for characters traits in fiction writing, to prevent writing from sounding like a news bulletin, is to spread the description throughout different parts of your book. Perhaps give them a key feature, then a bit of dialogue, then an action which reveals more. This way, when you’re writing a vivid character profile, the story doesn’t pause to describe the character, the description itself becomes part of the unfolding story. All you need to do is give the readers enough information that they can hold a current picture in their mind.

How To Describe People in Stories

I have provided a list of examples of how to describe people in stories, split by different parts of the body. These are generally the most common descriptions, as full lists would be huge, but they can be a starting point for crafting your own compelling character descriptions.

How to Describe Body Shape

A great characterisation tip for authors is: when describing the body focus on both body-type and posture. What it looks like and how they are using it.

Describe Characters’ Body : big, little, large, small, fat, thin, bulky, skinny, plump, lean, fine, chunky, solid, muscular, athletic, flabby, saggy, standing, sitting, reaching, resting, arching, walking, jogging, running, hunching, bending, stretching, leaning

How to Describe Faces

Possibly the most important feature to describe is the face, as it’s able to convey the most emotion and intent of your character. It’s essential that writers and readers get this part of the character descriptions clear in their mind, if they want to create memorable characters.

Character Face Shapes : round, square, oval, heart-shaped, triangular, diamond, pear, oblong
Describe Character’s Face : fine, full, baby-faced, fresh, chiselled, thin, wide, furrowed, craggy, sculpted, weather-beaten, dimpled, handsome, gaunt, sweet, anxious, boyish, youthful, clean-shaven, intelligent, hard, blocky, angelic, watchful, dubious, impassioned, bestial, rugged, strong, ordinary, unreadable

How to Describe Skin

Complexion is your skin colour and what it looks like. When learning how to describe people in stories, you should practice describing a diverse range of characters.

Describe Character’s Skin : tanned, wrinkled, freckled, rosy-cheeked, fresh, smooth, creamy, pale, glowing, rough, leathered, brown, dark, ebony

How to Describe Eyes

When thinking of character description examples for authors, we have to remember that most of our information about the world is received through the eyes. And most of our reaction to the world can also be told through the eyes. Remember to describe colour, shape and expressions in your vivid character profiles.

Describe Character’s Eyes : small, large, bulging, deep-set, teary, hollow, sad, gentle, bright, twinkling, warm, sleepy, brown, blue, green, hazel, dark, haunted

How to Describe Noses

Writing believable characters in novels includes going into depth about every aspect of your character. The nose is an excellent body part for creating a unique look and personality for your characters.

Describe Character’s Nose : bridge, nostril, flared, hooked, wrinkling, twitching, aquiline, red, puffy, crooked, flat, enormous, pointed, thick, veined

How to Describe Ears

To write effective character descriptions, you can play around with descriptions of a character’s ears, as they receive dialogue, so can convey emotional meaning through interactions.

Describe Character’s Ears : pulling/tugging on their ear, covering their ears, tucking their hair behind their ears, hear their pulse, battered, attentive, bandaged, bleeding, buzzing, dainty, elfin, floppy, earringed, pierced, comical, deaf, keen, open

“Plot is people. Human emotions and desires founded on the realities of life, working at cross purposes, getting hotter and fiercer as they strike against each other until finally there’s an explosion—that’s Plot.” — Leigh Brackett

How to Describe Mouth and Lips

Like the eyes, describing the mouth relates to both shape and expressions, and is a key character trait for fiction writing.

Describe Character’s Mouth : full, thin, pursed, puckered, pouting, laughing, smiling, curled, sneer, toothless, gappy, cruel, kind

How to Describe Hair

You can describe hair by its colour, texture and style when describing characters in your stories.

Describe Character’s Hair Colour : black, brown, blonde, red, auburn, ash, honey, golden, platinum, strawberry, silver, white, grey, salt-and-pepper
Describe Character’s Hair Style : long, short, shoulder-length, ponytail, bun, ringlets, bangs, slick, pigtails, bob
Describe Character’s Hair Texture : shiny, spiky, fuzzy, wavy, parted, neat, cascading, curly, dull, frizzy, wild, straight, shaved, thick, thin, full, fine, bald, dyed, permed

How to Describe Beards, Moustaches and Facial Hair

Here are some character description examples for crafting the perfect facial hair.

Describe Character’s Facial Hair : beard, sideburns, goatee, moustache, stubble, bushy, shaggy, clean-shaven, smooth, trimmed, whiskers, handlebars, viking

How to Describe Clothing

Whether you’re a seasoned novelist or an aspiring writer, you will know the importance of crafting remarkable character descriptions through the choice of clothing. There’s obviously a huge choice of clothing options available for your character. I always use a character template before I start writing, which captures what each character is wearing. This ensures it fits into my plot, making logical sense in relation to the character’s personality and the situation they find themselves in.

I divide clothing into tops, bottoms, outer, footwear and accessories. I then decide what fabric and other materials each item is made from, as well as patterns and textures.

Describe Character’s Style : smart, scruffy, elegant, torn, stylish, rough, relaxed, posh, chic, casual, sharp, disheveled, ripped, faded, badge, worn, new, shiny, soft, knitted, shabby, goth, sporty, wild, over-dressed
Describe Character’s Tops : t-shirt, shirt, tank top, polo shirt, jumper, sweater, cardigan, hoodie, V-neck, round-neck, turtleneck, collar, bra
Describe Character’s Bottoms : trousers, jeans, pants, boxers, leggings, slacks, jogging bottoms, sweatpants, overalls, shorts, swimming trunks, knickers
Describe Character’s Outerwear : jacket, coat, blazer, dressing gown, bath robe, apron, uniform, costume
Describe Character’s Footwear : shoes, trainers, sneakers, sandals, plimsoles, flip-flops, boots, wellies, pumps, heels, socks, stockings, tights, slippers
Describe Character’s Accessories : gloves, scarf, hat, baseball cap, bandana, bracelet, earrings, necklace, cufflinks, rings, purse, bag, handbag, glasses, sunglasses, watch, belt
Describe Patterns and Fabrics : cotton, acrylic, polyester, denim, tweed, silk, lace, velvet, fleece, wool, leather, stripes, checked, dots, stars, squares, solid block, floral, pastel

I hope these ideas on how to describe people help you write vivid descriptions and bring your characters to life. They’re just a starting point and you can read many more of them to describe each body part in How to Write Fiction: A Creative Writing Guide for Authors.

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Aaron Mullins ( @DrAaronMullins ) is an award winning, internationally published psychologist and bestselling author. Aaron has over 15 years experience in the publishing industry, with expertise in business strategy for authors and publishers. He started Birdtree Books Publishing where he worked as Editor-in-Chief, partnered with World Reader Charity and taught Academic Writing at Coventry University. Aaron’s book How to Write Fiction: A Creative Writing Guide for Authors has become a staple reference book for writers and those interested in a publishing career. Find out more .

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How to describe to immerse readers (complete guide)

Descriptive writing brings stories and characters to life. Read tips on how to describe places and characters, descriptive writing examples from a selection of genres, and more.

Post author By Jordan
23 Comments on How to describe to immerse readers (complete guide)

Knowing how to describe well is sure to immerse readers in your world. Read a complete guide on describing places and characters, different types of description, descriptive writing examples from popular genres, and more. Use the links above to jump to what you want to learn more about now.

What is description? Definitions and terms

Description is writing that tells your reader what a person, object or place is (or isn’t) like. As Oxford Learner Dictionaries define it: ‘a piece of writing or speech that says what somebody/something is like; the act of writing or saying in words what somebody/something is like’.

Description:

Creates tone and mood (for example, whether a scene is bright, dark, cheerful, ominous)
Shows, infers or implies personality and emotion (for example, a character speaking very fast may imply fear or excitement)
Colors in the story so that scenes that could feel grey or beige become imbued with specificity and the potential for drama, events
Draws your reader’s attention to significant or important objects and events: For example, a treasure being lost overboard in a sailing expedition may set up a storyline in another timeline where explorers dive for sunken treasure

These are just some of the important uses for description in storytelling.

Descriptive writing: useful terms

Useful terms in descriptive writing include:

Mood: Describes that which is evocative of a specific state of mind or feeling
Tone: The general attitude or character of a piece of writing (e.g. ‘The tone of the opening description is cheerful, matching the sense of excitement of guests about to arrive at a party’)
Tableau (plural tableaux): A picture, as of a scene. For example: ‘In the first scene, we see the tableau of a family dinner at Thanksgiving, where the main characters are all seated together’
Mise en scène: A French term meaning ‘the action of putting onto the stage’. It’s the arrangement of actors and scenery in a scene. Cambridge gives the example , ‘The general mise en scène – solitary figure, moving down gloomy Victorian streets at twilight – brings to mind Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde .’
Figurative language: Figurative language such as metaphor and simile (more on this under descriptive writing devices ) is often used to compare, contrast, and breathe fresh life into familiar ideas and images (e.g. ‘He blushed as red as a bottlebrush tree in spring’)

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One of the things that I tell beginning writers is this: If you describe a landscape, or a cityscape, or a seascape, always be sure to put a human figure somewhere in the scene. Why? Because readers are human beings, mostly interested in human beings. Kurt Vonnegut

Why is description in writing important?

In all kinds of writing, but in fiction especially, description draws readers in and creates immersive character, specificity. The opposite of bland, beige writing.

Description is important in writing because it:

Establishes setting to create context. If you describe an old cobbled street, your reader knows they’re not in Dubai’s modern CBD.
Helps to create tone and mood. The emotional state of a narrator or the emotion of a scene is deepened by evocative description.
Draws attention to important symbols or themes. For example, in the opening description in Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf, the main character dwells on heavy-drinking workers which calls to mind the post-war setting and echoes the story’s core themes of society, class and trauma.
Makes writing more engaging. Instead of reading being like watching paint dry, description pigments your world.
Implies and infers. A shrug, a sigh – small gestures and signs may create exact or ambiguous implications, so that description adds narrative suspense to a scenario and creates intrigue.
Supports plot and story development. For example, a gun concealed in a glove compartment at the start of a story warns us it may fire.
Distinguishes and differentiates . One character may wear their hair down mostly, another up. The small details that differentiate people and things create realism.
Evokes emotions or elicits empathy. For example, a kid sitting alone at the back of a school bus may suggest loneliness or exclusion. A tableau has great power to elicit empathy or other emotions, as visual artists understand.

Why is description in writing important infographic

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Types of description: Ways to bring worlds to life

There are many types of description you could use to make your story a tapestry of vivid detail:

Physical description

Clear, precise physical description gives your reader a more detailed sense of your world. Succinct description doesn’t necessarily sacrifice pace, either. It may include elements of physicality such as:

For describing characters, you might describe a person’s:

Facial features
Body language

See description examples for descriptions that represent several of the above qualities.

Emotional description

Emotional description suggests a character’s emotional state or mood. Voice and action contribute emotion too (and types of physical description such as posture or body language).

Ways you could show a character’s emotions include:

Adverbs: These should be used sparingly, though. For example, ‘”Of course,” he said happily.’
Actions: A useful substitute for adverbs. Compare the above to: ‘”Of course.” His smile reached all the way to his eyes.’
Deep POV: The way a character describes their surrounds may be indicative of how they’re feeling. For example, ‘I sat down on my stupid bed and opened my homework book.’ This character is clearly not enthused by homework.

Filtering passing description through your character’s viewpoint and state of mind is a great way to indirectly describe their emotion.

As an exercise, take the same scenario and setting, write down four or five different emotions, and have your character describe the same scene so that it is colored by each of those emotions in turn.

Historical description

Historical description is narrative that shows what time and place are like. For example, the way Dickens’ description of Coketown in Hard Times (1854) conveys what a rapidly industrializing town is like, with its miasma of smog:

Seen from a distance in such weather, Coketown lay shrouded in a haze of its own, which appeared impervious to the sun’s rays. You only knew the town was there, because you knew there could have been no such sulky blotch upon the prospect without a town. A blur of soot and smoke, now confusedly tending this way, now that way, now aspiring to the vault of Heaven, now murkily creeping along the earth, as the wind rose and fell, or changed its quarter: a dense formless jumble, with sheets of cross light in it, that showed nothing but masses of darkness. Charles Dickens, Hard Times (1854), full text public domain on Project Gutenberg .

This type of description is especially common in historical fiction which seeks to create an authentic sense of a period or era and its notable features, changes and developments.

Impressionistic description

This type of description is not as concerned with accurate (or rather literal) representation as it is with capturing the essence of the described thing.

Think of this as the way Cubism may represent a person in a portrait as having both eyes on one side of their face.

If you wrote, for example, ‘she was all hard edges and acute angles’ to describe a severe, unforgiving character, you might not literally mean that they’re like a line-drawing. Yet the metaphor in this geometrical description creates the impression of sharpness, hardness, stern qualities of character.

Another example: In this quote from The Great Gatsby (1925) where the character Nick Carraway gives a romanticized view of New York City, he says that to see the city from a specific vantage point is always to see it for the first time:

The city seen from the Queensboro Bridge is always the city seen for the first time, in its first wild promise of all the mystery and beauty in the world. F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, 1925. p. 67.

The narrator does not mean this literally, of course. It is an impressionistic description of what this specific vista feels like, emotionally.

Impressionistic description relies on devices such as metaphor, metonymy, simile, personification and hyperbole (more on these under descriptive writing devices ).

Describing characters: Not shoe size (but where he’s off to)

In her poem ‘Writing a Résumé’, the Nobel Laureate Wisława Szymborska pokes fun at the characterless language one has to use sometimes in, for example, writing a CV or bio or other document for bureaucratic purposes. She gives dry instructions about what to do (implying the wealth of humanity that we have to skip over in doing this exercise).

It’s a great example of what not to do in writing more rounded, complex – i.e. fully human – characters:

Write as if you’d never talked to yourself and always kept yourself at arm’s length. Pass over in silence your dogs, cats, birds, dusty keepsakes, friends, and dreams. Price, not worth, and title, not what’s inside. His shoe size, not where he’s off to, that one you pass yourself off as. Wisława Szymborska, ‘Writing a Résumé’, Poems, New and Collected (1957-1997)

Describing characters well brings them to life. It’s the opposite of a dry, everywoman CV.

What are some ways you can describe characters better?

Make first introductions count. A vivid first line, gesture, outfit, attitude – what will cement your character in your reader’s mind?
Favor concrete over haziness or abstraction. Not, ‘She was kinda tall’ or ‘sometimes, she was mean’. How tall? Under what circumstances was the character typically mean?
Show more than just appearances. For example, ‘his eyes were blue’. Many people have blue eyes (though the gene is recessive). How blue? and what do the man’s blue eyes suggest about his character (are they kind, alert, critical?).
Use viewpoint and voice to imply mood and emotion. Part of why Salinger’s teen narrator’s voice is so memorable in Catcher in the Rye is his narration is filtered through how jaded and deeply frustrated he feels.
Build character description over your story’s course. Does a character’s limp get worse or better, a country woman who moves to the big city lose (or keep) the rural sound of her accent? How might description change subtly (or dramatically) to echo the life your character’s lived?

See the recommended reading below (and the description examples further on) for more on how to describe characters with vivid acuity.

Character writing: Complete guide to creating your cast
How to describe a person vividly: 8 ways
How to describe hands: 6 ways to make characters real
Describing characters’ first appearances: 6 tips

For me, writing for kids is harder because they’re a more discriminating audience. While adults might stay with you, if you lose your pacing or if you have pages of extraneous description, a kid’s not going to do that. They will drop the book. Rick Riordan

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Describing settings: Making place a character

Illustrating your story’s settings is vital to make your world feel real and lived in (rather than like so much empty green screen). Setting description is a crucial part of worldbuilding.

Types of description that tell places’ stories

There are so many details, like with characters, that define what a place is like. You can describe a place via its:

Physical qualities. See for example that description dense with smog by Dickens in the example above.
Environment and Geography. Terrain, biomes – in historical, fantasy and science fiction in particular, geography is often important because it may determine how long travel takes, where character’s can or cannot go, the rules of engagement in war or trade, or other plot factors.
Architecture. Architectural description may create a sense of scale, wealth, age of a city or society, what raw materials are available, and more. See Italo Calvino’s Invisible Cities for inventive descriptions of imaginary cities, as recounted by a fictionalized Marco Polo.
Historical events. If you narrate a paragraph describing the history of a city, for example, that place immediately gains further historical character.
Social makeup. What proportion of inhabitants are wealth, and what proportion are underprivileged? Class, culture, religion and other elements of society help us understand a place’s diversity (and often also the lines of difference that explain historical or present tensions).
Political elements. The political system in a place may have far-reaching effects from public life (e.g. whether there is a curfew or not) and infrastructure to the happiness of its people. Under a corrupt dictator, roads and public services may deteriorate faster, for example, as autocrats redirect public funds to a private purse.

How can you describe place in your story so that it has vivid character?

Ways to describe place in fiction

To create a more immersive sense of place:

Brainstorm key place details. What you describe will be determined to an extent by the plot and character arcs of your story. For example, if your story is about a sheltered country dweller who travels to the big city, you might brainstorm what would be awe-inspiring (or terrifying) about a big city upon arrival.
Create vision boards of similar settings. Use Pinterest ( follow Now Novel while you’re there) or another image sharing platform to curate a library of images connected to your story locations. This is a great way to gather visual inspiration for scenes and ideas for objects or moods and atmospheres.
Use precise adjectives. This applies to character description, too. Find the concrete word that compresses the most meaning (instead of ‘very small’, you might say ‘tiny’ or ‘minute’, for example).
Think about who, what, why, where and when. Who (or what) would you be likely to find in this place? What is great or awful about it? What is its atmosphere, tone and mood? Why does this place exist? What does it tell us about your world, its where and when (period, era)?

Read more about how to create vivid story locations, places, worlds:

Story setting and worldbuilding: Complete guide
How to describe setting: 6 ways to bring setting to life
Novel settings: 7 tips to get setting description right
Setting the scene: 6 ways to introduce place in stories
Vivid story setting description: Examples and insights

The fantasy that appeals most to people is the kind that’s rooted thoroughly in somebody looking around a corner and thinking, ‘What if I wandered into this writer’s people here?’ If you’ve done your job and made your people and your settings well enough, that adds an extra dimension that you can’t buy. Tamora Pierce

Descriptive writing devices

Descriptive writing devices such as figurative language bring in the freshness of unexpected comparisons and get playful with language. Learn more about descriptive writing devices that add depth, humor, surprise and other good things to descriptions:

Metaphor and simile: Comparing unlike things to describe

Metaphor and simile compare unlike things to create striking imagery.

The key difference between the two is that metaphor removes the comparison words, simile keeps them in.

Metaphor examples:

‘His stork legs poked out of baggy yellow swim shorts.’
‘The moon was a silver platter, more beautiful for its antique, tarnished patches.’

Compare to simile which makes the act of comparison more obvious:

Simile examples:

‘The spacecraft was as dark as a moonless desert, save for the blinking lights of the control console.’
‘She got up from the table without a word, as difficult to read as a seasoned croupier.’

Metonymy: Making part stand for the whole

Metonymy is a figurative device where the part of something stands for the whole (the way we say ‘The Crown’ to refer to a queen, for example).

Examples of metonymy:

“Mouth over here won’t shut up,” my sister said, casting a dark look my way.’
“I will call this House to order, and you will be orderly,” the Speaker said, glaring at the back benches.’

Hyperbole: Exaggerating for effect

Another figurative language device, hyperbole is often used for either dramatic or comical (for example, mock-heroic or arch) effect.

Hyperbole example:

“This sandwich is a masterpiece and belongs in the Louvre,” my brother said, mock-retching at the days-old sub I found under the car seat.’

Personification: Bringing the non-human to life

Personification is another common descriptive device in figurative language. Here, human-like characteristics are attributed to objects or non-humans.

Personification example:

‘The old oak stood sentinel over the entrance to the town, cautioning horseback arrivals in its gnarled, ancient presence that this was an old place where people took their time and took even longer to warm to strangers.’

There are many other rhetorical and figurative devices you can use to play with description.

For example, ‘zeugma’, which combines unrelated images in one sentence (e.g. ‘That day changed it all, the day she opened her door and her heart to an imploring kid who rocked up shoeless and afraid and wouldn’t say a word.’) The verb ‘opened’ applies to two different nouns, one use of the verb literal, one figurative.

Read more about writing descriptive sentences and using figurative language devices:

Writing descriptive sentences: 6 simple rules
Adjectives for description: 60 precise words
Artificial intelligence for writing: 10 helpful AI uses

I’m a failed poet. Reading poetry helps me to see the world differently, and I try to infuse my prose with figurative language, which goes against the trend in fiction. Jesmyn Ward

Description pitfalls: What to avoid in descriptive writing

Description has its pitfalls. As Rick Riordan says in the quote above, lots of spurious description may lose a reader. Read ideas of what to avoid in description:

Overused, on the nose or dead language

‘Tall, dark and handsome’ – that’s an example of the kind of phrase you might find in a Barbara Cartland or old Mills & Boon title that might make modern readers groan. Sites such as TV Tropes can help you keep track of what is overdone and troped to death.

Tautology (redundant words or phrases)

Tautology is saying the same thing twice in different words. A ‘pleonasm’ is using more words than necessary to convey one meaning. For example, ‘The shower’s wet water was a relief after the day’s grueling work.’ The reader knows water is wet, so the adjective isn’t needed in that sentence.

Lack of sensory details

Effective descriptive writing involves the senses: Sight, touch, sound, smell, even taste. This isn’t to say that every sentence has to draw on all of the senses, but if the reader never hears or feels the touch of anything, the story’s world could read more drab and nondescript.

Telling far more than showing

Although ‘Show, don’t tell’ is a common adage, stories need both.

‘Telling’ is useful for what Ursula K. Le Guin calls ‘leaping’ in narrative. For example, skipping over an uneventful sequence of time. ‘They rode hard for three days and eventually reached the city.’

It’s showing though, ‘crowding’ a scene with the detail of the senses, of what viewpoint characters experience, that really puts your reader in the film-like quality of a scene in 4K definition.

Stereotyping or generalizing

Saying ‘all the women in the bar had dolled up for the night’ might draw readers’ ire, an example of a generalization that is also stereotyping. The idea that all women, men, non-binary people, or other categories behave a similar way (or hold similar interests or behaviors). Think about how descriptions can speak to the variety that is inherent to a space.

There are cases, of course, where certain places are very homogenous in culture, inhabitant or type. A fancy club on a beachfront might attract a very specific type of patron. Yet if context does not help to explain a generalization, it’s best to avoid it.

Watch a concise video with further tips to write stronger description:

How to describe: Writing clear places and characters

What are some of your descriptive writing pet peeves? Let us know in the comments.

Read more about descriptive issues and how to avoid them:

What is cliché? Cliché examples (and how to avoid)
Choosing description words: 10 questions to ask
‘Show, don’t tell’: Examples from books balancing both

Description examples: Descriptive writing across genres

Here we gather effective description examples across a range of genres: Fantasy, romance, historical, science fiction, mystery, thriller and more. Share one of your favorite descriptions and the author and book title it’s from in the comments and help us grow this resource for description examples.

Introductory descriptions for scene-setting

Description at the beginning of a story can set the scene in a wide variety of ways. See below how it can establish tone and mood (the levity of Pratchett’s style, for example), or the inside/outside of a detective’s world where peace or violence are always just over the hedge.

See in the example from Julia Quinn how description of an activity typical of an era (Regency women doing needlework) can create a sense of time and place. Or reference to interplanetary spectacle or a woman tailing a man create intrigue in a sci-fi and thriller novel respectively.

Fantasy/humor description example

Local people called it the Bear Mountain. This was because it was a bare mountain, not because it had a lot of bears on it. This caused a certain amount of profitable confusion, though; people often strode into the nearest village with heavy duty crossbows, traps and nets and called haughtily for native guides to lead them to the bears. Since everyone locally was making quite a good living out of this, what with the sale of guide books, maps of bear caves, ornamental cuckoo-clocks with bears on them, bear walking-sticks and cakes baked in the shape of a bear, somehow no one had time to go and correct the spelling. Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad (1991), pp. 16-17.

Mystery description example

“Hell is empty, Armand,” said Stephen Horowitz. “You’ve mentioned that. And all the devils are here?” asked Armand Gamache. “Well, maybe not here, here” – Stephen spread his expressive hands-“exactly.” “Here, here” was the garden of the Musée Rodin, in Paris, where Armand and his godfather were enjoying a quiet few minutes. Outside the walls they could hear the traffic, the hustle and the tussle of the great city. But here, here there was peace. The deep peace that comes not just with quiet, but with familiarity. Louise Penny, All the Devils are Here , 2021 (p. 3)

(Regency) romance description example

“Look at this!” Portia Featherington squealed. “Colin Bridgerton is back!” Penelope looked up from her needlework. Her mother was clutching the latest edition of Lady Whistledown’s Society Papers the way Penelope might clutch, say, a rope while hanging off a building. “I know,” she murmured. Julia Quinn, Romancing Mr Bridgerton (2002), p. 3.

Science fiction description example

At 09:46 GMT on the morning of 11 September, in the exceptionally beautiful summer of the year 2077, most of the inhabitants of Europe saw a dazzling fireball appear in the eastern sky. Within seconds it was brighter than the sun, and as it moved across the heavens – at first in utter silence – it left behind a churning column of dust and smoke. Arthur C. Clarke, Rendezvous with Rama (1973), p. 4.

Spy thriller description example

The quality of the light was the first thing that struck her when she went to Madrid in the spring of 1960. The afternoon shadows were the deepest and darkest she had ever seen. Like all old men, the doctor was a creature of habit. He always shopped for groceries on Saturday afternoons. She tailed him to a place near Atocha station that sold international food. He bought black bread, beer and slices of cured sausage that resembled Westphalian salami. Patrick Worrall, The Partisan (2022), p. 7.

Character description examples

Read examples of character description across a range of genres. See how voice can describe a character’s age and outlook in Rick Riordan’s example, or how an ensemble description can evoke the character of an era in Doctorow’s Ragtime .

Read how Colleen Hoover creates the portrait of a person through their name and the hyper-specific conditions of their being fired from a restaurant. Or Alice Munro’s portrait of a music teacher who throws recitals she doesn’t call recitals (and an invitee’s attempts to get out of attending them).

YA/fantasy character description example

My name is Percy Jackson. I’m twelve years old. Until a few months ago, I was a boarding student at Yancy Academy, a private school for troubled kids in upstate New York. Am I a troubled kid? Yeah. You could say that. I could start at any point in my short miserable life to prove it, but things really started going bad last may, when our sixth-grade class took a field trip to Manhattan – twenty-eight mental-case kids and two teachers on a yellow school bus, heading to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to look at ancient Greek and Roman stuff. Rick Riordan, Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief (2005), p. 8.

Literary/historical fiction character description example

There seemed to be no entertainment that did not involve great swarms of people. Trains and steamers and trolleys moved them from one place to another. That was the style, that was the way people lived. Women were stouter then. They visited the fleet carrying white parasols. Everyone wore white in summer. Tennis racquets were hefty and the racquet faces elliptical. There was a lot of sexual fainting. E.L. Doctorow, Ragtime (1974), p. 3.

New adult character description example

“There was that guy who did the dishes before you hired Brad. What was his name? He was named after some kind of mineral or something – it was super weird.” “Quartz,” I say. “It was a nickname.” I haven’t thought about that guy in so long. I doubt he’s holding a grudge against me after all this time. I fired him right after we opened because I found out he wasn’t washing the dishes unless he could actually see food on them. Glasses, plates, silverware – anything that came back to the kitchen from a table looking fairly clean, he’d just put it straight on the drying rack. Colleen Hoover, It Starts with Us (2022), p. 3.

Literary character description example

Miss Marsalles is having another party. (Out of musical integrity, or her heart’s bold yearning for festivity, she never calls it a recital.) My mother is not an inventive or convincing liar, and the excuses which occur to her are obviously second-rate. The painters are coming. Friends from Ottawa. Poor Carrie is having her tonsils out. In the end all she can say is: Oh, but won’t all that be too much trouble, now ? Alice Munro, ‘Dance of the Happy Shades’ in Selected Stories (1996), p. 16

Science fiction character description example

Lenar Hoyt was a young man by the Consul’s reckoning – no more than his early thirties – but it appeared that something had ages the man terribly in the not too distant past. The Consul looked at the thin face, cheekbones pressing against sallow flesh, eyes large but hooded in deep hollows, thin lips set in a permanent twice of muscle too downturned to be called even a cynical smile, the hairline not so much receding as ravaged by radiation, and he felt he was looking at a man who had been ill for years. Still, the Consul was surprised that behind that mask of concealed pain there remained the physical echo of the boy in the man […] Dan Simmons, Hyperion (1989), p. 11.

Read more character description examples:

Character description examples: Creating people not caricatures

Get feedback on your descriptive writing in Now Novel groups from a constructive community. Start now to brainstorm characters and settings in the Now Novel dashboard, a step-by-step tool to outline your story.

Story setting ideas: 7 tips to immerse readers
Story planning and outlining: Complete guide
Story plotting and structure: Complete guide
Tags describing characters , how to describe , setting

Jordan is a writer, editor, community manager and product developer. He received his BA Honours in English Literature and his undergraduate in English Literature and Music from the University of Cape Town.

23 replies on “How to describe to immerse readers (complete guide)”

Great article! I particularly liked point #5 and your examples were very helpful!

Thanks, Savannah. I’m glad you found it helpful.

I love this. Thank you so much.

Thank you! I’m glad you found use in it.

My advice is, don’t over do the fancy big words. People don’t want to read a book where they have to refer to a dictionary every time.

Great examples! This really made me think about how I can improve my descriptions.

Thank you, Shay! I’m glad to hear that.

That was so helpful,thank you.

It’s a pleasure, Dalida. Thank you for reading.

Super nice! Love it very much

Thanks helped me a lot. I see now why my writing seems so bland. I use too many weak adjectives bad nice good.

I have a question about how long a description should be. I’m writing a scene of about 1000 to 1500 words, which largely consists of describing the location. Would that be considered too long, even though the character is almost constantly interacting with the location? For context: My characters are inside a secret hallway where they need to solve a puzzle in order to unlock the mechanism on the door leading to another room. My main character then needs to inspect this second location to make sure everything is ready for the upcoming Council Meeting.

Hi Jae Vie,

Thank you for the interesting question. It really depends since some authors spin out description for pages, others keep it clipped to a line or two. It would depend on the style of the surrounding scene (wordy and lyrical; descriptive in a detailed, evocative way, or taut and spare).

If the scene is around 1000 words long, I would suggest keeping it shorter.

Feel free to share an extract in our critique groups for feedback! It’s difficult to advise in the abstract without having fuller context.

[…] Source: https://www.nownovel.com/blog/how-to-describe-place-character/ […]

It is very helpful for me thanks

It’s a pleasure, Iqra. Thank you for reading.

“Lieutenant Koudelka returned to curtailed light duties the following month, apparently quite cheerful and unaffected by his ordeal. But in his own way he was as uninformative as Bothari. Questioning Bothari had been like questioning a wall. Questioning Koudelka was like talking to a stream; one got back babble, or little eddies of jokes, or anecdotes that pulled the current of the discussion inexorably away from the original subject.”

— Barrayar (Vorkosigan Saga) by Lois McMaster Bujold

A few extra descriptive tidbits here making me think. Always good to have a reminder of the senses. Thanks!

Love the extension of the usual ‘like talking to a wall’ simile in this Bujold quote, Margriet, thank you for sharing it. It’s a pleasure, thanks for reading and for sharing your reading 🙂

thanks for posting. I will bookmark this site!

Hi Paul, it’s a pleasure, thanks for reading.

I’m ready to get started please help me I feel my story will inspire individual their lives

Hi Karen, that is great that you want to inspire others. Have you created an outline or do you prefer to draft freely and do organizing/structuring as you go? Either way, feel free to create a member account so that you can access our critique community and get feedback in chat and our critique forum. If you are writing memoir, you may find this article on life-writing helpful. Good luck!

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Writing Tips

How to Write a Descriptive Paragraph About a Person (With Examples)

4-minute read

7th January 2023

Describing a person or character is difficult for even the most successful authors. It requires a balance of words to make sure they shine through without the language being too heavy. In this article, we’ll look at how to write a descriptive paragraph about a person, share some examples, and talk about different strategies.

1. Brainstorm Your Ideas

Brainstorming is crucial to any writing process. It’s the process in which you think of ideas for what you’d like to write about. In this case, you’re writing a descriptive paragraph about a person. It’s important to use adjectives to describe the features or characteristics you want to focus on.

One way to come up with ideas for a descriptive paragraph about a person is to go through the five senses. Use the questions below to get some ideas for what you want to highlight about your person.

Appeal to your reader’s senses – smell, taste, sound, sight, and touch

Smell: How does the person smell? Do they wear perfume? Are they doing an activity that would make them have a certain smell?

Taste: Do you associate a certain food with this person? Does it make you think of a specific taste? Can you taste something due to a certain smell they have?

Sound: Do they have a unique voice or laugh? Are they doing an activity that has distinctive sounds?

Sight: What prominent features do they have? For example, think about their dressing style, their smile, or their surroundings. What do you see them doing in your mind when you see a photo of them? What memories do you have of this person? Does this person remind you of something or someone?

Touch: What textures do you see? For example, imagine their skin or clothing. How does it feel if you hug them?

2. Begin With a Short and Snappy Sentence

Like with any type of writing, you want to hook your reader so that they want to continue reading. In this case, you can use a topic sentence, if appropriate, to introduce your reader to the person. For example:

Or, if you want to be more creative, you can reel them in with a short and snappy sentence about this person. This is called a writing hook . This sentence should focus on a stand-out detail or characteristic about the person you’re describing. For example:

3. Describe the Person

Now, this is the hard part. But, if you’ve brainstormed plenty of ideas and know which ones you want to focus on, it will be easier. Let’s look at some examples to get a better idea of how to write a descriptive paragraph about a person using the prompt “describe a person you admire.”

Comments: This paragraph is pretty typical of most students. It gives lots of visual details of the person and uses a simile or two (“ Her eyes are like the color of honey” and “Her smile shines like the sun” ). While this strategy gets the job done, it’s not very exciting to read. In fact, it can be quite boring!

Let’s look at how we can rewrite this to make it more exciting.

Find this useful?

Subscribe to our newsletter and get writing tips from our editors straight to your inbox.

Comments: In this example, we focused on one defining characteristic of the person we are describing — her laugh. This strategy places more focus on the person you’re describing, rather than the adjectives you use to describe them.

4. Edit and Revise

After you write your descriptive paragraph, be sure to read it over. Read it out loud. Read it in a funny voice. Doing this will help you to hear the words and identify which parts do not work or sound awkward.

5. General Tips for Descriptive Writing

● Avoid using too many descriptive words.

● Remember to show the reader, not tell.

● Appeal to the reader’s five senses – smell, touch, taste, sight, and sound.

● Focus on a striking or defining characteristic.

● Use contrasting details from other people or surroundings for emphasis.

● Use literary devices (metaphors, similes etc.) sparingly and with intention.

● Use a hook to reel your reader in.

● Use a variety of short and long sentences.

● Practice creative writing exercises to improve your descriptive writing skills.

● Always edit and revise your writing.

If you need more help with writing a descriptive paragraph or essay , send your work to us! Our experts will proofread your first 500 words for free !

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Bowler New Member

Writing action / escape scenes.

Discussion in ' Plot Development ' started by Bowler , Dec 5, 2009 .

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); I'm writing a rather long escape scene that follows an action scene. It involves the main characters having captured someone and transporting them back to the safety of their camp. It's difficult to think of how to fill it and make it go. I just keep coming up with "they went there, then they did this, then they went there, etc." can anybody offer some advice as to how to make it more interesting?

.daniel New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); Try and use a lot of imagery instead of "they did this, then did that". "They drove down the street at 65 mph, trying to get away from the tailing cars." is much better as: "The buildings and streets began to blur as they raced down them, swerving frantically to avoid their pursuers." Try and create a sense of urgency. It'll make it feel like it is happening in real time.

Wreybies Thrice Retired Supporter Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); .daniel said: ↑ Try and use a lot of imagery instead of "they did this, then did that". "They drove down the street at 65 mph, trying to get away from the tailing cars." is much better as: "The buildings and streets began to blur as they raced down them, swerving frantically to avoid their pursuers." Try and create a sense of urgency. It'll make it feel like it is happening in real time. Click to expand...

TWErvin2 Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); If nothing really happens during the escape/travel, not that much needs to be invested in words providing details. If they have to dodge pursuers, someone tries to escape, they miss a plane or wreck their car, then that is where the story should pick up and focus. Terry

NaCl Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); Just buy Ervin's book Flank Hawk and you'll have LOTS of masterful examples of such scenes. In fact, the first third of the book is one unfolding action scene, complete with escapes, character development and plot evolution in simultaneous presentation. It's a veritable "how to" in answer to your question.

McDuff New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); You could always go out and kidnap someone and transport them back to your house while racing the police. That might give you some insight...

Operaghost New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); The easiest way is to picture the scene in your mind, as if watching it on a film, and describe the scene you are seeing, as a previous poster has mentioned, show rather than tell the reader what is going on, although mcduffs idea has some merit….

Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); Keep pacing in mind, too. During high action, things are generally moving quickly, so te writing should also. Short sentences move faster. Visual impressions are fleeting, so detailed description doesn't usually fit well. Try to keep the feel of BEING there, not watching from the sideline. The adrenaline, the fear, the pumping of the heart. Sudden pain if a blade scores a hit. Confusion and chaos. At other moments, there may be a crystal clarity of hyperawareness. Your character is still highly focused on one threat, but it may seem like time is frozen around him. He sees an opening. His opponent has left an opening, your character drives a blade past the enemy's guard and deep into his thigh. The enemy drops his guard as his leg collapses, and your character is able to deal a killing blow. If you're transporting someone, it's the opposite of high action. Time drags out interminably. You are watching the prisoner closely, alert to any suspicious movement. He must not escape! You keep changing the way you guard him and move him, to keep him off balance. You watch for any sign that others are trying to ambush you and free him. Maybe you have a companion, and you don't agree on how to safely handle the prisoner. Here, you want the pacing to crawl, and build the tension that something could change, badly, at any moment.

Never Master New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); Cogito hit on an excellent point, but there is one more thing to add on to his learned statements. In perfecting the pacing, action and overall feel of the scene, you do have to be careful to keep your Character Development consistent as well. I've found in my own work that sometimes in a particularly harried action sequence my character might behave for a moment or two like somebody else. In my quest to make the action as detailed and believable as possible, I was ignoring my character. This served to distance a Mikael a bit from the action and since he was the MC of the short the reader needs him to be close in order for the scene to feel real. Don't just list action after action, and even when you do make sure it is consistent with who your character is. For example, if this was a Fantasy story and your character is a skilled swordsman it would be wrong to have him inexplicably wielding a mace around the battlefield smashing heads. Short: Don't put your character on the back-burner for the sake of tension or pacing.

Destin New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_b8c9a955521c68c295a2e374220c14b2'); }); The picturing it in your head thing is definitely a good way to start deciding how the action will go, just make sure you don't get so tied up trying to describe exactly what is in your head that you start telling instead of showing, or holding the reader's hand to the point that he loses interest. Even something as simple as: Bob grabbed Margaret's left hand and ran north into the building. can be confusing and irritating compared to Bob grabbed Margaret's hand and ran into the building. When writing, it's best to leave the minute details to the reader's imagination. He will make it work in his mind's eye, unless your description is way out to lunch.

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Does this sound like a good description of someone falling asleep due exhaustion? Anything I can do to make it sound better? [closed]

I'm trying to describe somebody falling asleep from exhaustion, in first person. I'm currently using a longer, detailed description, but is that the best way?

Never had a few moments deliberation seemed like an eternity as I feel my consciousness ebbing away, and my thoughts, as clear and concise as they were mere moments ago, were coming to an end. My eyes grow heavy from the strenuous effects of excessive agitation of the brain--that faculty which, in all its strength, I had not prepared for such a weakness. At once, I was struck with incoherence, an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—for I had already decided to give myself away to my pursuer, to exhaustion , to be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor…

creative-writing

1 @MonicaCellio : I'd think under current site rules, we'd close this as a critique question. Any reason you edited rather than closing? – Standback Commented Aug 9, 2015 at 4:55
@Standback my finger hovered over the "close" link, but it seemed like this could be tweaked to ask a more specific question, and it seems like the level of detail/verbosity is the key factor here. But I could go either way -- there were no votes from the community, so I tried the edit. – Monica Cellio Commented Aug 9, 2015 at 4:57
Just how import is sleeping to the story and the character doing it? With a long winded description like this, it's like waving a red flag and shouting into a blow horn saying: This is important remember this! If it's not important, say: I fell asleep. Move the story along never fall so in love with your own writing that the story is pushed back for overdone descriptions. – darkocean Commented Aug 24, 2017 at 4:17

4 Answers 4

A bit too wordy for my taste, but that's purely subjective. I'd have to see the rest of the piece to make a better judgement. The overall imagery could work. The long, run-on sentences work well in showing fatigue, but some of it might need a bit of a clean up. For example:

My eyes grow heavy from the overwhelming effects of excessive agitation of the brain for which, in all its power, I had not prepared for its weakness.

This sentence is just not right. If you leave out the inserted sentence "in all its power", you get:

My eyes grow heavy from the overwhelming effects of excessive agitation of the brain for which I had not prepared for its weakness.

which makes no sense, grammatically.

At once, I was struck with incoherence—an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—for I had already decided to give myself away to my pursuer—to exhaustion—to be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor…

There are so many — here that I don't know to what they refer to, what sections are they surrounding. For example, it looks as if "—an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—" is an inserted sentence, which makes no sense. I believe you were going for "At once, I was struck with incoherence — an inconsistency to my thoughts — as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall" but even so, the em dashes make it so awkward. I think it would look somewhat clearer like this:

At once, I was struck with incoherence, an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall—for I had already decided to give myself away to my pursuer, to exhaustion, to be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor…

It's still a pretty awkward sentence though. As I said already, long, run-on sentences are perfect for this situation, but they still need to be clear and readable to the reader. I had to go back several times to get my head around it.

Your very helpful! I will make some changes and re post for you. Your very thorough and it is very refreshing to get an intellectual response to my question! Thank You! – Shawn Commented Jul 5, 2013 at 22:53
Okay. Made some changes. Let me know if it sounds better. If you would like a few pages worth of the works before and after this piece. Please feel free to let me know and I can email them to you. Thanks! – Shawn Commented Jul 5, 2013 at 23:00

Using shorter sentences (and varying their length) can make the piece more readable:

Never had a brief span seem like an eternity. As I feel my consciousness ebbing away, as clear and concise as it was mere moments ago, it was coming to an end. My eyes grow heavy from the strenuous effects of excessive agitation. At once, I was struck with incoherence, an inconsistency to my thoughts, as I kneeled down and leaned a shoulder against the wall. I decided to give myself away to my pursuer, to exhaustion. And I would be dead to the world before the rest of me ever hit the cold concrete floor.

I'm not sure if the piece makes sense after my edit. But you get the idea.

I'm not clear on the timing. Is this first person narrative in the moment, or the narrator recalling the event after the fact? If it is the former, it is overwritten by about 100 to 1, since someone that exhausted shouldn't be able to think such detailed imagery. If it is the latter, the present tense should be changed to past tense.

My eyes flickered into darkness due to exhaustion.

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Fantasy Author

Writing Articles

How to Write an Effective Chase Scene

by Doug Lewars

Either a villain is fleeing from the forces of law-and-order or your hero is fleeing from overwhelming danger, but in either case you need a chase scene. Any form of transportation can be used and the overall structure of the narrative will be reasonably uniform although the specifics will change in each case.

Basically the scene starts with one individual threatening another. The individual so threatened departs in haste while the first person pursues. Both need to avoid obstacles and eventually either the pursued will escape or be captured. The trick, then, is to make the scene exciting.

First, rely heavily on action verbs. The following is a list that is by no means complete but might provide a starting point: accelerate, beat, blast, charge, chase, collide, crash, cut, dart, dash, dive, dodge, duck, erupt, escape, evade, explode, fall, flash, flatten, flee, flinch, flick, flip, fly, force, gallop, hover, hurl, hurtle, invade, jolt, jump, kick, lead, leap, lunge, lurch, move, nail, nick, nip, panic, parry, pass, peel, penetrate, pile, pin, pinch, plow, pounce, plunge, propel, pull, pump, pursue, push, race, raid, raise, rally, ram, reel, regain, repel, retreat, rip, rise, risk, roar, roll, rush, run, scamper, scoot, scrape, scream, scuttle, seize, set, shake, shear, shock, shout, sidestep, skim, skip, skirt, slam, slide, spin, splatter, split, spread, sprint, stumble, sway, swerve, swim, swing, take, tear, thrash, transfer, trap, tread, trip, topple, try, tumble, turn, twist, vacate, vanish, vault, whip, wiggle, yank, yell, yelp, zap, zip.

You can use adjectives and adverbs but not too many. During the scene you want your sentences to be shorter than normal and fairly terse. So consider, for example, “Eric sped quickly past the grocery shop and ducked around a corner hoping to elude Tony.” You don’t need “grocery shop” unless it’s important and not obvious.

Likewise you don’t need “sped quickly.” First “quickly” is redundant since it’s pretty much a challenge to “speed slowly.” More importantly, by forcing your reader to scan the extra word, you slow him or her down at a time when you’re trying to build excitement.

So, better might be “Eric sped past the shop and ducked around a corner.” Assuming you’ve already established that Tony is in pursuit, you don’t need to repeat it. If you do need to emphasize the latter it would be better to use an extra sentence: “Eric sped past the shop and ducked around a corner. He hoped to elude Tony. He wasn’t optimistic.”

Choose appropriate verbs for the type of chase being described. A vehicle might roar down the street and screech around a corner on two wheels. A jet plane might also roar or scream. A person running from danger is not likely to do either–unless, of course, you’re describing a chase scene involving superheroes and villains in which case pretty much anything goes.

Sentence fragments are acceptable despite what your Grade 4 teacher told you, but too many will make you sound juvenile. They increase the pace of the scene but make it sound choppy. Balance is critical.

One technique that I like to use involves choreographing the chase. First I decide on the physical layout. I might even draw a map. Google maps is another good means for generating an area in which the scene is to occur. Obviously a pursuit involving jet aircraft will require quite a bit more real estate than a foot chase.

Next, I make a list of every possible obstacle I can think of, that might be encountered. This is where you can get creative depending on the type of story. Since most of my chase scenes occur in books intended to be humorous, I try to imagine impediments that are somewhat bizarre. It is possible to introduce a few spurious details without significantly reducing the pace.

For example, “I saw the vendor’s eyes widen as I vaulted the counter. Behind me came the crash as the knife-wielder slammed into the table sending oranges flying in all directions.” Technically it would be possible to ignore both the shop keeper and the oranges and focus strictly on the chase, but a few touches such as these help create an image in the mind of the reader of the general chaos surrounding the pursuit.

Before starting, I like to know how long it is going to last. If it’s a major part of the story then it can go on for several thousand words. On the other hand, if it’s not so important it can be over in a paragraph or two. Longer scenes require much more detail which is why I want to understand the terrain and have a longer list of impediments.

One good way of creating that list is head over to YouTube and search for “car chase” or “foot chase” and watch a few. Don’t copy. You want this to be your own chase but you can derive ideas from watching videos.

Finally, when I sit down to actually write the scene, I like to have fast, instrumental music playing to inspire me. I find it much easier to create an exciting scene if I’m motivated by thrilling music.

Guest post contributed by Doug Lewars . Doug is not necessarily over the hill but he’s certainly approaching the summit. He enjoys writing, reading, fishing and sweets of all sorts. He has published eleven books on Smashwords.com .

Writers in the Storm

A blog about writing.

Five Tips for Writing Tears that Carry Power

By Margie Lawson

I’ve read the same wording about tears in too many books.

Tears stream and streak, glint and glisten, flee and flow, prickle and trickle.

They slip, slide, run, roll, seemingly unstoppable.

Tears blur vision, soak hair, get wiped, get blinked. But some tears are unshed, unspent, unspilled, or unspecified.

Sobs can choke and rack and wrench. Characters sob on shoulders and in showers, often uncontrollably.

I could go on about crying and bawling and weeping and wailing. But I won’t.

You all get it.

Let’s dive in and play in words.

1. Write Fresh.

Write sentences about tears and crying that we’ve never read before.

2. Nix Some Tears.

Give your characters some different reaction.

In real life, eyes fill to the brim with tears more often than we want to see on the page. And a single tear may slide down someone’s cheek.

But you’re in charge of your characters. You don’t have to stick with what pops on the page in your first draft.

Nix some of the crying and tears in an early draft—and give your characters a different reaction. Could be dialogue, an action, body language, a facial expression, a dialogue cue, a visceral response, or a powerful thought. And give it some fresh elements.

You can make the reaction fit your character, and not be predictable. You’ll keep the reader immersed in your story, locked on each page.

3. Amplify.

If it’s important, give the reader more.

Amplify the emotion in a variety of ways.

Every example in this blog is amplified.

4. Play with Style and Structure.

Use a wide range of rhetorical devices, provide plenty of white space, vary sentence lengths.

If you know me, you know you’ll see examples of style and structure.

5. Check for Compelling Cadence.

Read your work out loud. With feeling.

Always. Always. Always.

DON’T MISS THIS POINT:

I’m not saying writers shouldn’t ever use some of those common words and phrases I mentioned at the beginning of the blog. But if you use some, twist, play, and amplify. Give them a boost, and give your readers and reviewers a smile.

As always, I’ll share some examples and what you can learn from them.

The Butterfly Bride, Vanessa Riley , 3-time Immersion Grad

1. She should slap Hartwell or pull away from his heavy arms, but there wasn’t much fight left in her, just a sack of tears in her chest she refused to spill.

Deep Edit Analysis:

Power Words — slap, pull away, heavy, fight, tears, refused, spill

Rhetorical Device — Structural Parallelism:

sack of tears in her chest
she refused to spill

Compelling Cadence

Look how Vanessa Riley deepened characterization. She showed what the character thought she should do, but didn’t. Then she explained why.

Vanessa also shared that the POV character felt like crying, but wouldn’t give Hartwell the satisfaction of seeing her break down.

But smart Vanessa didn’t rely on my overused phrases. Her sack of tears was fresh.

2. No one would see her cry. None of the duke’s friends, especially the leeches.

Vanessa amplified that basic first sentence. She shared specifics and backloaded with the strongest power word, leeches .

Never Let Me Fall , Abbie Roads , 4-time Immersion Grad

1. (Crying) She clung to him—the only safe place—as the battle for her soul and sanity raged. And then it was over, and she hiccupped against his shirt as she tried to catch her breath.

Power Words: clung, safe, battle, soul, sanity, raged, over, breath

Rhetorical Device — Alliteration: soul, sanity

2. Tears burned in her sinuses, then filled her eyes and spilled to race to her hairline. These weren’t sad tears. They were angry tears. Tears filled with fight.

Abbie Roads packed power and rhetorical style in those 28 words.

Power Words: tears, burned, filled, spilled, race, sad, tears, angry, tears, tears, filled, fight

Rhetorical Devices —

Alliteration: filled, fight
Assonance: filled, spilled, filled
Anadiplosis: …tears. Tears…

Backloaded with the most important power word, fight

Bound by a One-Night Vow , Melanie Milburne , 4-time Immersion Grad, USA Today Bestseller

1. She had worked hard to get herself strong again.

Must not cry. Must not cry. Must not cry.

Power Words: worked, hard, strong, not cry, not cry, not cry

2. She swallowed and blinked a few times, the tears drying up as if she regretted losing control. Her expression tightened as if all of her facial muscles were holding in her emotions and only just managing to contain them.

Power Words: swallowed, blinked, tears, drying, regretted, losing control, tightened, holding in emotions, just managing, contain

Love how Melanie Milburne deepened characterization by amplifying with two similes. And the second simile is mega-amplified. I see that barely-in-control expression.

Compelling Cadence.

Dear Wife (Advanced Reader Copy), Kimberly Belle , 5-time Immersion Grad, USA Today Bestseller, International Bestseller

Dear Wife will be released June 26.

Four Paragraphs:

To my absolute horror, my eyes grow hot, the tears welling so quickly it’s impossible to blink them away. I choke on a small but audible sob. “I can’t even tell you how much.”

The Reverend takes me in with a kind expression. “Are you all right, child?”

I wipe my cheeks with my fingers, but new tears tumble down before I can mop the old ones away. “Thank you, but I’m fine. Or I will be. I don’t even know why I’m crying.” I force up a throaty laugh. “I promise it won’t be a regular occurrence.”

I hate to cry. For the past seven years, my tears have been slapped, backhanded, punched, yanked, kicked, squeezed and one time, burned out of me. Tears are a sign of weakness, followed always by punishment. Only losers cry.

Deep Editing Analysis:

Power Words: horror, eyes hot, tears, welling, quickly, impossible, blink, choke, sob, Reverend, kind, fine, tears, crying, force, laugh, promise, hate, cry, seven years, tears, slapped, backhanded, punched, yanked, kicked, squeezed, burned out of me, tears, weakness, punishment, losers, cry

Deepened characterization. Used crying to slip in powerful backstory.

Asyndeton: No and in the first sentence.

One Paragraph:

These past four months, I’ve shed a shitload of tears. More than I’d like to think about. But I stand here, in the middle of the church aisle and bawl, and for the first time I don’t feel ashamed of my tears or wipe them away with a sleeve. I let them fall because these are the good kind of tears. The—well, if not the happy kind, at least the everything’s-going-to-be-okay kind.

Power Words: four months, tears, more, church, bawl, don’t feel ashamed, tears, fall, good, tears, not, happy, okay

Amplification: Tears. All 73 words are about her tears.

Alliteration: shed, shitload

Fresh Hyphenated-Run-On

Since You’ve Been Gone, Christa Allan , Multi-Margie Grad

1. I pounded my fist on the desk, my pens jumping up in the air, my coffee leaping out of the mug. This rage was a hand grenade whose pin had been pulled, and there was nowhere for it to go. I had no tears left. Just a raw, aching wound.

An example of NO TEARS. Christa Allan showed her character’s rage.

Power Words: pounded, rage, hand grenade, pin, pulled, no tears, raw, aching, wound

Rhetorical Device — Metaphor, Mega-Amplified.

2. I’d moved past tears, past sobbing, to a convulsing, ragged-breath squall.

That sentence seems simple. But it’s brilliant and powerful.

Power Words: tears, sobbing, convulsing, ragged-breath, squall

3. If only I could be like Holly Hunter in Broadcast News and schedule my cathartic crying. My eyes dripped, my underarms dripped, and my emotional reserves dripped. All in a medical building lobby as I waited for Mia to come up with a plan, and I wiped my face with a crumpled Starbucks napkin. I counted on her to save me from myself. Now wasn’t the time for her to forgo the life vest when I was drowning in the sea of my own irresponsibility.

Love the humor hits, and the juxtaposition of those humor hits with her reality. If you’ve read this book, you know her reality is emotionally challenging.

Power Words: cathartic crying, eye dripped, underarms dripped, emotional reserves dripped, medical, plan, counted on her, save me, forgo life vest, drowning, irresponsibility

Backloaded: irresponsibility

Alliteration: Holly Hunter, cathartic crying
Allusion: Holly Hunter
Metaphor: life vest, drowning
Asyndeton and Symploce and Zeugma: My eyes dripped, my underarms dripped, and my emotional reserves dripped.

If you’ve taken my Deep Editing course online (or lecture packet), or Fab 30: Advanced Deep Editing, or an Immersion Master Class, you know the terms I used, or you figured out the structure they referenced.

If you haven’t taken my Deep Editing course, I’ve been talking Greek to you. I shared a quick explanation of all the rhetorical devices but epistrophe and zeugma.

Symploce: The word or words at the beginning and end of three or more phrases, sentences, or clauses, are the same (my, dripped).

Zeugma: In a series of two or more, the last one is an idiomatic mismatch. It’s not like the other. Eyes and underarms are part of your body. Emotional reserves are not.

Want to learn more about my deep editing techniques?

My blogs share a few deep edit points out of hundreds. And that’s not hyperbole.

Drop by my website and check out my online courses and lecture packets. Your writing career will be glad you did.

A big THANK YOU to Vanessa Riley, Abbie Roads, Melanie Milburne, Kimberly Belle, and Christa Allan.

If these examples impressed you, check out their books. I bet you’ll love them!

BLOG GUESTS: Thank you so much for dropping by the blog today.

Please post a comment or share a ‘Hi Margie!” and you’ll have two chances to be a winner.

You could win a Lecture Packet from me, or an online class from Lawson Writer’s Academy valued up to $100.

Lawson Writer’s Academy – May Classes

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I’ll draw names for the TWO WINNERS on Sunday night, at 8PM, Mountain Time and post them in the comments section.

Like this blog? Share with your friends. Give it a social media boost. Thank you soooo much!

I love the brilliant WITS gals. Thanks so much for inviting me to be your guest.

Margie Lawson—editor and international presenter—loves to have fun. And teaching writers how to use her deep editing techniques to create page-turners is her kind of fun.

She’s presented over 120 full day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France, as well as taught multi-day intensives on cruises in the Caribbean.

To learn about Margie’s 5-day Immersion Master Classes (in 2019, in Palm Springs, Denver, Dallas, Cleveland, Columbus, Atlanta, and in Sydney, Melbourne, and Adelaide, Australia), Cruising Writers cruises, full day and weekend workshops, keynote speeches, online courses, lecture packets, and newsletter, please visit: www.margielawson.com

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87 comments on “Five Tips for Writing Tears that Carry Power”

Hi Margie. That's a great intensive lesson on crying. Just so happens that I'm in the middle of reading Since You've Been Gone (actually, listening to it thanks to Audibles). There's a lot of crying going on in that novel, for good reason, so it's a great book to use as an example of different ways to cry.

Since You've Been Gone by Christa Allan is beautifully written -- and the story will stay in your heart.

Hope you get to finish it this weekend!

That's my plan! Bad news: supposed to rain most of the weekend. Good news: supposed to rain most of the weekend -- reading time! 🙂

As always, thank you Margie for including my novels. I appreciate your deep dives!

Big Hugs to Christa Allan -

Your writing is so fresh and strong. I love using examples from your books!

I just emailed you about an Immersion in Dallas in June. Hope you can join us!

Ooh, this is good stuff. Thanks. Need to go in my WIP and search for tears.

Hello Lisa --

Thank you! I bet you'll do a search on crying, cried, and sob too. Just in case.

If you haven't taken my online courses, or done my lecture packets, please check them out.

I don't want you to miss out on all those deep editing tips. Tips that could take your writing from good to stellar.

Hi, Margie! You came to my rescue again. I'm editing and editing and today I'm editing crying. I'm going to dig deep and make those tears fresh. Thanks to all your examples I have a better handle on how to do that now.

Hugs to Immersion Grad Lynette Burrows!

I know you can deep edit and make your writing fresh.

Remember -- you may decide to nix some of those teary times and give your character another reaction.

Thanks for chiming in!

Hi Margie! I especially like the fresh descriptions of holding back the tears.

Hello Irtrovi --

Great to see you on WITS again.

Thanks for posting!

Oh wow. This. Is. So. Good. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Hello Robyn --

Thank you for letting me know you're here -- and smiling!

Hi Margie! Loved this post. I hadn't thought how cliched crying expressions were. Thank you 🙂

Hello Caroline --

Cliched phrases sneak in everywhere.

Fresh writing rules!

So many great examples here. I LOVE the coffee leaping out of the mug. Thanks for including me, Margie. I'm honored!

Hugs to 5-time Immersion Grad Kimberly Belle --

I'm always proud to use your examples. There's strong writing on every page in every one of your books.

Thanks for deep editing well!

Hi Margie. Rhetorical devices are little treasures to add colour to our pages. They’re like easter eggs for writers.

Hugs to Immersion Grad Jay Hicks --

You themed your comments to Easter. Cute!

Hi Margie! Thanks for the great examples. Off to edit mu tears!

Hello Cathy V-C --

Have fun deep editing tears and crying and sobbing.

Keep in mind that it may be stronger to nix some lines with tears (crying, sobbing) and give your character a different reaction.

Have you taken any of my online courses, or read a lecture packet? My lectures are loaded with deep editing tips and gems!

Your visits are always such a learning party, Margie! Thanks for sharing your knowledge with us.

Hugs to Multi-Immersion and Cruise Grad Fae --

A learning party. That's me!

You know I love teaching and parties!

Wonderful, Margie! I always struggle to find ways to power-up tears--these are great examples.

Hugs to Immersion Grad Rebecca Hodge --

I'm still so thrilled about your contract!

I know you'll use those five tips and write fresh.

A fabulous blog post on one of my pet peeves, too many tears trickling. 🙂 As always, love all the powerful examples.

Hugs to Multi-Immersion Grad Suzanne Purvis --

Thank you. I know you'll write tears in a fresh way. You're a deep editing master!

Hi Margie! Thanks for such an in-depth evaluation of writing tears and what causes them. Reading your “deep edit analysis” of each example gives a better understanding of what draws readers in and keeps them there. I learned a lot from this post. Thanks, again.

Hello Jamie Baker --

Have we met? If not, we need to meet.

I just Fb stalked you, and you're big-time interesting.

Glad you learned a lot from this blog. Hope to see you again.

Hi, Margie. With your wit and wisdom, you teach—never preach! Thanks. Linda.

Hello Linda --

---- With your wit and wisdom, you teach—never preach! Thanks. Linda.

Love your alliteration and your assonance!

Thanks for posting.

Great post, Margie! Always fantastic. Loved these examples!

Hello L. D. Rose --

You'll STUDY, then deep edit.

Smart. Smart. Smart!

Another informative post, with fabulous examples. As always, thank you for taking the time to help us all be better writers.

Hello Erin Parisien --

Aww... You're suh-weet.

You know I love teaching writers how to add just the right amount of power. And I love working with you!

Once again, Margie Lawson and Writers in the Storm have given me the shoulders back ability to sit down and write armed with the wisdom from just one Immersion and multiple online classes.

I have written many tears and found myself searching for more than the same old, same old.

Now, I'm off to Amazon to order some Margiefied books. But, I have read all of Abbie Roads' books.

Winona... You make me happy! ~Big Smiles~

Hugs to Winona --

So glad you won't write those cliched tears!

Happy Amazon clicking!

Margie! I'm honored you included two examples from Never Let Me Fall. It was such a hard book to write, that I worried it wasn't quite up to Margie standards. Makes me feel better about it that you found good stuff in there!

Hugs to Multi-Immersion Grad Abbie Roads --

You always put NYT!-level writing in your books!

Hugs to Multi-Immersion Grad and Cruise Grad Laura Drake --

I remember that powerful passage that Darcy Crowder read in your first Immersion class too.

That was May, 2012. Seven years ago. And we both remember the beauty of that passage. It carried so much emotion, without tears.

I just did a search, but didn't find it. I emailed Darcy. As soon as she shares it, I'll put it on my website.

Margie, I'll never forget at immersion, when Darcy Crowder pulled out a passage of a woman standing looking at her son's grave, and she described the agony SO well, and nary a tear in sight.

The fact that I still remember that shows the power.

Thanks for the reminder!

Hi Margie! I was just telling my fellow Cambridge Writers about your classes and how they can make you a better writer. This is a fantastic article and I've shared it with the group.

Hello Paulette --

Thanks so much for sharing info about what I teach with the Cambridge Writers. I appreciate you!

Hope I get to work with you in an Immersion class sometime.

Hi Margie, I always get a lot out of these posts and try to use your techniques. But, I have to be reminded from time to time to dig deeper and to write fresh. It doesn't come easy for me yet. I'm reposting this in our Chapter's facebook page. Thanks for these tips.

Hugs to Immersion Grad Barb --

Lots of writers need to be reminded to dig deeper and write fresh.

Thank you soooo much for reposting on your Chapter's Fb page. I'm appreciative. Big time!

Hope I get to work with you in June, in your second Immersion in Cleveland!

A perfect 'kick in the pants' kind of post I need! Thank you!

Hugs to Multi-Immersion Grad, NYT Bestseller, Steena Holmes!

Every writer needs to use their deep editing shovels to write fresh and make their writing carry more power.

I loved this Margie! Brilliant as always.Thank you! Came at a perfect time--was working on a scene where I'm trying to avoid the proverbial tears.

Hugs to Immersion Grad Kathleen Baldwin --

Ah... Thank you!

I know you'll write those sad emotions well!

Fantastic and inspiring examples - thanks for a brilliant post, Margie!! I'll share this in class 🙂

Big Hugs to Multi-Immersioner Becky Rawnsley --

Thanks for sharing in your class!

You do know that I'm incredibly impressed with how you teach my Big Three courses. You make me sooooo proud. Your students rave about you. Thank you for sharing your expertise and your heart.

Hi Margie. Great post!

Hello Carla --

Thank you, thank you!

Hi Margie. Excellent tips for fresh writing. I've taken three of your courses over the past six months. The difference in my writing is clear. I hope to take one of your Immersion classes within the next year. Thank you for helping me improve my craft.

Hello Michelle --

Which Michelle are you? Please email me, or Fb message me, and let me know.

I hope I get to work with you in an Immersion class next year!

Interesting to think about ways not to cry. And I love the Broadcast News allusion. I always think about Holly Hunter scheduling her crying and wish I could do that!

Hugs to Immersion Cruise Grad Mary --

Great to see you here!

I love that Christa Allan used allusion with Holly Hunter too. Smart!

This is a great blog with a variety of excellent examples.Thank you.

Hello Glory --

I believe this is the first time you've posted on one of my blogs. Welcome to my deep editing world.

Glad you enjoyed my blog. I always include examples from Margie-Grads, writers who have learned my deep editing techniques from taking my online courses and intensive in-person classes.

I hope you take a few minutes and check out Lawson Writer's Academy on my website.

Hi Margie and the WITS gang! I LOVE everything Margie. I've completed two lecture packets already - since I first discovered her through this blog about two years ago. I am writing more carefully, paying closer attention to cadence, nixing cliches, and aiming for those NYT bestseller sentences. ( ; I've never read a Margie tip that didn't help to improve my writing. Since using the Deep Editing techniques she teaches, my writing has been much stronger - I've even got an NY agent interest!! One day, hopefully sooner than later, I plan to attend a Margie weekend in CO! ( :

Hello Bitesizewriter --

Who are you? Puh-leeeeese email or Fb message me and let me know who you are!

Wowzee! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Your enthusiasm is shimmering on the screen.

If you really want to come to an Immersion Master Class sooner-sooner, I have an opening in my May 20 - 24 Immersion! Plus -- openings in an Immersion class in July too.

I don't know you, but I know I'll love working with you in Immersion!

I had to laugh when I saw your title, because my freelance editor says I cry way too much in my ms. Trouble is, I'm writing a memoir, and generally in life, I'm a "leaky faucet," as my son tells me. When times were bad, over the many years in which my story takes place, I cried and sobbed and wailed and sniffed and tears rolled and glinted and...etc. But I see now how I can apply your suggestions to show the reader my emotion in other ways. This was such great advice, it brings me to tears.

Hello Karen --

Thanks for sharing about your leaky faucet. Now you know you can nix some tears and sobs and wails, and write the ones you keep in fresh ways.

I have to mention, my online courses and lecture packets are loaded with hundreds of deep editing tips and gems. And that's not hyperbole.

Love the humor hit in your last sentence!

Awesome article as always! You're still my "go to" for strong, fresh writing. ?

Big Lovey Hugs to Lori Freeland!

Can't wait to hang out with you at West Texas Writer's Academy in June!

BLOG GUESTS --

Want to spend five days with me learning deep editing? Check out West Texas Writer's Academy on my website!

Howdy Margie! Great reminder to keep writing FRESH! In my memoir Sara cries a lot, because she has a lot to cry about. I struggle with how to make those tears fresh without creating some of my own and your post has helped immensely. I printed it out and it's hanging on my bulletin board on the wall in front of my desk - thank you!

Hello Kathy --

So glad you dropped by the blog, read it, printed it, and now you'll use what you learned in it!

I bet you'll nix some of your crying-related sentences, and write the ones you keep in fresh and compelling ways.

Do you know about my online courses and lecture packets? They're full of deep editing tips and gems that would help you make writing everything strong.

I hope you take a minute and click over to my website and check them out.

Thanks so much for posting!

Thanks, Always-Timely-and-Helpful Margie. I was just vacuuming my WIP, knowing my heroine cries too many times. Whoo Hooo! Substitute another reaction. Write fresh. Engage literary devices. Back to the drawing board.

Hello Jeanne --

I bet you're glad you read this blog!

Always great to cyber-see you. Hope to see you in person again sometime!

Yes, very timely. I'm editing and coming across places where tears are withheld. Study time, then more editing time. Thanks, Margie.

Hugs to Immersion Grad Barbara --

Yay! I know you'll nix some and write some in fresh ways!

Thanks so much for posting.

Another amazing article from Margie Lawson. I have 5 lecture packets from her and I have read them again and again, always learning something new. Thank you Margie!!

Helo Jose --

Wow! Thanks so much.

Love your enthusiasm for deep editing. I'm enthusiastic too. 🙂

Have fun applying everything you've learned!

Love your examples and analysis! Inspiring as usual!

Hello Deb A --

Yay! Glad you're inspired to write tears and sobs fresh!

Hi Margie, I love your reminders and examples and enthusiasm about not just using, but empowering our writing with fresh descriptions. Cheers! Susanne

Hello Susanne --

I'm cheering for you!

I bet you'll deep edit to add just the right amount of fresh writing and power that works best for the scene.

Thank you for dropping by the blog!

I'm going to save this away for any teary scenes... Thanks!

Hellooo Immersion Grad Greg!

I know you'll use my five tips when you need them.

Thanks for chiming in.

See you in Fab 30 class!

Guilty as charged! I think I welled some tears in my draft just the other day? I'll do better with these pro tips...thanks!

Hello Jessica

You cliched some tears? Aack!

Now you know you can nix some tears and write some in fresh ways. I know you'll write them well.

Thank you for stopping by the blog!

HELLO EVERYONE!

A big THANK YOU to all of you for being here!

Loved reading all your posts.

Random.org selected our TWO WINNERS:

The winner of the online course from Lawson Writer's Academy is..........ROBYN CAMPBELL!

The winner of the lecture packet is ..........CARLA CLOUTIER!

Congratulations Robyn and Carla!

EVERYONE: If you have questions about online courses, lecture packets, or my Immersion Master Classes, please ask. You can contact me through my website, or Facebook message me.

Thank you again to the brilliant WITS gals. Love you all!

Loved seeing all the fresh examples of crying and tears. That's a hard one. Thanks Margie!

loved the examples and breakdown.

Hi Margie! Reading your deep dives blog takes me back to our wonderful Yosemite Immersion Master Class last May...about this time. The best! ! I appreciate your fresh takes on tears and all sob-related description. It's too easy to default to the done-done-done before. Thanks to you, these days I'm anxious to experiment. Hugs to you. Smiles from the a-bit-too-green, Cathy

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how to describe someone running in creative writing

IMAGES

VIDEO

COMMENTS

How To Describe Running In Writing (100+ Words & Examples)

1. Capturing the Essence of Motion

2. The Role of Sensory Imagery

3. Understanding the Mechanics of Running

4. Emotional Resonance in Describing Movement

5. Utilizing Metaphors and Similes

6. Breaking Down the Steps of Running

7. Pacing Your Narrative with the Running Sequence

8. Character Response and Internal Monologue

9. Adjusting Description for Different Contexts

10. Descriptive Techniques from Published Works

11. Highlighting the Runner’s Environment

12. Exploring the Runner’s Physicality

13. Depicting the Psychological Aspect of Running

14. Incorporating Dialogue and Interaction

15. Using Running as a Metaphor

Best 30 Words to Describe Running

Best 30 Phrases to Describe Running

3 Full Examples of Running (from Different Genres)

1. Adventure Genre

2. Romance Genre

3. Sci-Fi Genre

Final Thoughts: How to Describe Running in Writing

How to Describe Running in Writing

1. Sprinting

How it Adds Description

3. Graceful

5. Galloping

9. Pounding

10. Frenziedly

How to Write a Running Scene

» A. You can either give basic details or full blown description.

» B. Tell the reader why the character is running early on, especially if you’re opening up the story with this scene.

» A. Have the reader empathize with the pursued – rather than the pursuer.

» B. Write the chase out as a sequence of events, almost like mini-scenes.

» A. Choose a way she is saved. Either by sheer luck or ingenious planning?

» B. Will this be the end or will there be a twist?

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