creative writing personal statement example

Essay Examples 20 Personal Statement Examples That Stand Out + Why They Work

This is your ultimate list of Personal Statement examples.

In this post, you'll learn:

• What makes a successful Personal Statement
• How to write an irresistible Personal Statement
• Ivy League personal essay examples

If you're looking to read and write Personal Statement essays, you've found the right place.

In this post, I'm going to share everything you need to go from zero to having a Personal Statement essay you can be proud of.

This guide will help you get started writing an engaging Personal Statement essay. Or if you already have one, how to make it even better.

What is a Personal Statement Essay?

A personal statement, also called a statement of purpose (SOP) or personal essay, is a piece of creative, personal writing.

The purpose of your personal statement is to express yourself and your ideas. Personal statements usually aren't piece of formal writing, but still should be thoughtful and planned out.

Many applications for colleges, graduate schools, and scholarships require you to write a personal statement.

How to Write a Personal Statement Essay

While there are no rules or guidelines for writing a personal statement, the best ones often have these in common:

Have Strong Ideas:

Having compelling and interesting ideas shows you are a strong thinker.

It isn't necessarily about having all the answers, but asking the right questions.

For personal statement essays, the quality of your ideas matters more than your writing level. Writing interestingly is more important than writing beautifully.

I’ve stopped tripping over my own feet, and it’s led to me not being afraid to connect and interact with patients and customers or present in front of large crowds. Life is just one long Carioca – you might stumble at first, but if you keep pushing, the right feet will find themselves in the right place. From an accepted essay to UNC at Chapel Hill →

Be Authentic

Writing authentic essays means writing from the heart.

The best personal statements tend to come naturally, because the writer is excited about the topic.

Choose an idea that makes you feel excited to write about and start writing.

As you begin drafting, ideas will naturally arise related to your original idea. Exploring these tangential ideas is what leads to even better reflections for your essay.

That's why it's so important to be genuinely passionate about your subject. You can't just have an interest "in the topic," but there has to be something deeper you're writing about that moves you.

Use Narratives and Story-Telling:

Humans are naturally drawn to stories.

And often the best insights and ideas come from real life experiences.

Telling a story, or many, is the basis for developing your analysis and ideas. Remember, all stories need conflict in order to work.

It can help to think about the different types of conflict.

• Character vs. Self
• Character vs. Character
• Character vs. Nature
• Character vs. Society

And so on...

Once you've written a meaningful story, getting insights is as simple as answering the question: What did your experiences teach you?

The sounds of my knife striking kale unnerves my cat asleep in the corner. He quickly runs over to examine the situation but becomes instantly uninterested when he sees green and smells bitterness. Unfortunately, my family has this same reaction every day of every week. From an accepted essay to University of Southern California →

Showcase Your Values and Identity:

The purpose of a personal statement is to tell about who you are.

Personal statements are your opportunity to showcase what your values are, and how you would contribute to the school, scholarship opportunity, etc.

Good writers are those who write authentically. Write about your unique ideas and ask interesting questions, even if you don't know the answers.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

A typical personal statement can range in length from 500 to 650 words or more.

For applying to colleges, the Common Application essay personal statement has a word limit of 650 words.

For graduate school programs, the application essay will vary in length, but most schools require a personal statement essay of at least 500 words.

20 Personal Statement EssaysThatWorked

It can be difficult to understand what makes a great essay without seeing some for yourself.

Here's 20 of our favorite personal statement essays that we've chosen for being unique and high-quality.

There essays were all accepted into some of the most selective schools. And while it isn't the only factor in admissions that matters, having outstanding essays can help tip the scales in your favor.

Table of Contents

Prompt: Background, Identity, or Interest

• 1. Uncomfortable Truths
• 2. Romanian Heritage
• 3. Film and Theater
• 4. Person of the Woods
• 5. Beautiful Walks

Prompt: Lessons from Obstacles

• 6. My Father
• 7. Self-Determination
• 8. Game Design Music
• 9. Speech and Debate

Prompt: Questioned or Challenged a Belief

• 10. Finding Answers

Prompt: Accomplishment, Event, or Realization

• 11. Connecting with Others
• 12. Summer Confidence
• 13. First Impressions
• 14. Law Career
• 15. Growing Up Asian

Prompt: Engaging Topic, Idea, or Concept

• 16. Secrets of Riddles
• 17. Rubik's Cube
• 18. Narrative Diversity

Prompt: Any Topic of Your Choice

• 19. Search for Dreams
• 20. Recipe for Success

Personal Statement Example #1: Uncomfortable Truths

This is a personal statement that worked for Princeton . It is outstanding for many reasons, but most of all because of its ideas and the thoughtfulness put into organizing them.

Common App Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Why This Essay Works:

Having a unifying idea is key to successful personal statements. Find your deepest idea or realization and focus your essay around that.

Find a way to showcase your achievements while connecting to broader, more universal ideas.

Connecting your ending to your beginning is a powerful way to bring your essay full circle. A great conclusion expands on your ideas introduced earlier, while leaving some room for more to be said.

Personal Statement Example #2: Film and Theater

This student's essay was accepted to USC , among other top schools. It's topic is seemingly simple—taking walks—but the author brilliantly shows how even in the mundane there can be meaningful reflections.

This essay has lots of moments where the author's character comes across vividly. By using conversational language and interjections like "I want to—no, need—to...", the author has a clear "voice" and you can easily imagine them as if they were speaking directly to you. This student also showcases self-awareness and a sense of humor, by using slightly self-deprecating phrases like "some chubby, nerdy girl" and by recognizing how the social approval of sitting with the "popular girls" was enthralling at the time. Self-awareness is a highly valuable trait to portray, because it shows that you're able to reflect on both your strengths and weaknesses, which is a skill needed to be able to grow and develop.

This author manages to tie in their activity of producing films and reference them specifically ("Cardboard Castles") by connecting them to their main point. Instead of listing their activities or referencing them out-of-the-blue, they show how these accomplishments are perfect examples of a greater message. In this case, that message is how meaningful it is to connect with others through storytelling. To write about your activities and achievements without seeming arbitrary or boastful, make them have a specific purpose in your essay: connect to a value, idea, or use them as examples to show something.

In the intro of this essay, there are some descriptions that seem fiction-like and are ultimately unimportant to the main idea. Sentences that describe Mrs. Brewer's appearance or phrases describing how their teacher stood up after talking to them ultimately don't contribute to the story. Although these provide "context," the only context that admissions are interested in is context and details which have a purpose. Avoid writing like fiction books, which describe all the characters and settings, and instead only describe exactly what is needed to "go somewhere" in your essay.

What They Might Improve:

This essay has a strong hook which captivates the reader by making them ask a question: "What are these lunch-time horror stories?" By sparking the reader's imagination early on, you can draw them into your writing and be more engaged. However, ultimately this is somewhat of a letdown because these intriguing "lunch-time horror stories" are never described. Although it may not be completely necessary for the main point, describing one example or hinting at it more closely would be satisfying for the reader and still connect to the main idea of storytelling. One idea is to replace the conclusion with a reference to these "lunch-time horror stories" more vividly, which would be a satisfying ending that also could connect to filmmaking and storytelling. In general, anticipate what the reader will be looking for, and either use that expectation to your advantage by subverting it, or give them what they want as a satisfying, meaningful conclusion.

Although this conclusion could work as is, it could be stronger by seeming less arbitrary and less "fancy for fancy sake." Often, a good strategy is to connect your conclusion to something earlier in your essay such as your introduction or specific wording that you used throughout. In this essay, it could work much better to end by revealing one of those "lunch-time horror stories" in a way that also emphasizes their main point: how storytelling is a powerful tool to connect people.

About This Personal Essay:

Personal statement example #3: romanian heritage.

This personal statement worked for UMichigan , among many other top schools like MIT, Rice, UNC at Chapel Hill , University of Pittsburgh, UW Madison, and more.

This author is able to vividly bring you into their world using cultural references and descriptive writing. You can practically taste and smell Buni's kitchen through her words.

This essay starts off by posing a challenge, which is typical of essays. But rather than showing how they overcame this particular challenge of speaking Romanian without an accent, this reader shows how something unexpected—baking—came to satisfy what was missing all along. By the end, this creates a conclusion that is both surprising, connected to the beginning, and makes perfect sense once you've read it. In other words, the conclusion is inevitable, but also surprising in content.

This student uses Romanian words to help exemplify the culture and language. If you're writing about a culture, using foreign language words can be a compelling way of adding depth to your essay. By including specific terms like "muni" and "cornulete," it shows a depth of knowledge which cannot be faked. Always use specific, tangible language where possible, because it is "evidence" that you know what you're talking about.

This student exhibits strong self-awareness by noting characteristics about themself, even some which may not be the most glamorous ("can be overbearing at times, stubborn in the face of offered help"). Rather than telling the reader flat out about these personal attributes, they are able to discuss them by connecting to another person—their grandmother Buni. Using another person to showcase your own character (through comparison or contrast) is a literary "foil," which can be an effective way of showing your character without stating it outright, which generally is boring and less convincing.

This student doesn't focus on surface-level ideas like "how they got better at speaking Romanian." Instead, they reflect in a creative way by connecting the Romanian language to baking. Revealing unseen connections between topics is a great way to show that you're a thoughtful and clever thinker. Ultimately, having unique ideas that are specific to you is what will create a compelling essay, and this essay is a perfect example of what that could look like.

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Personal Statement Example #4: Person of the Woods

This essay was accepted into Dartmouth College . It is a brilliant example of showing how any experience, even those which originally may have been unpleasant, can be the topic of meaningful reflection.

Using visuals, like descriptions of scenarios and environments, can help bring the reader into your world. However, make sure that all of your descriptions are relevant to your main point, or else they could be distracting. For example, in this essay it would be unnecessary to describe what they're wearing or the appearance of canoes, but it makes sense to describe the nature as it relates to the main topic.

People are not isolated units. Instead, everyone depends on and is defined by those around them. By showing how you relate and connect with other people, you can provide insights into your character. In this essay, the student does a great job of delving into their strong friendships, particularly what they've learned from their friends.

Admissions officers love to see self-growth. Showing how your perspective on something has changed (in this case, how they went from disliking to loving an activity) conveys a development of your character. Ask yourself: what preconceived notions did I have before, and how did they change? This student reflects in a humble way, by first emphasizing what they've learned from others, before offering up what they might have contributed themselves. Always try to have a tone of gratitude in your essays because it makes you more likeable and shows strong character.

Personal Statement Example #5: Beautiful Walks

Personal statement example #6: my father.

This personal statement was admitted to Michigan in recent years. It is an outstanding example of how you can write about topics that are often cliché if done poorly, such as the death of a family member.

But unlike other essays, this one works because it has a unique take and genuine approach to the topic that makes it come off as heartfelt.

Common App Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Writing about a tragedy like a loss of a parent is a tricky topic for college essays. Many students feel obligated to choose that topic if it applies to them, but it can be challenging to not come across as trying to garner sympathy ("sob story"). This student does a graceful job of focusing on positive elements from their father's legacy, particularly the inspiration they draw from him.

This student does a great job of connecting their educational and career aspirations to their background. Admissions officers want to understand why you're pursing what you are, and by explaining the origin of your interests, you can have compelling and genuine reasons why.

In this essay, the student writes from their hypothetical perspective as an infant. This doesn't quite work because they likely wouldn't remember these moments ("I have no conscious memories of him"), but still writes as though they do. By writing about things you haven't seen or experienced yourself, it can come across as "made up" or inauthentic.

Personal Statement Example #7: Self-Determination

Some of the best essay topics are dealing with challenges you've faced, because difficulties make it easier to reflect upon what you've learned. Admissions officers ultimately are looking for self-growth, and showing how you've handled personal challenges can demonstrate your new understandings as a result. However, avoid talking about "tragedy" or difficulty without a clear purpose. Don't write about it because you think "you should," only write about challenges if they are true to yourself and you have something meaningful and unique to say about them. Otherwise, it can come off as trying to garner sympathy (i.e. "sob stories") which admissions officers generally dislike.

More convincing than telling admissions officers, is presenting them with "evidence" and allowing them to come to the conclusion themselves. If you want to show the idea "I couldn't learn due to this condition," it is far more effective to do what this student did and say, "I'd just finished learning complex trig identities, and I now couldn't even count to ten." When drafting, it is normal and okay to start off with more "telling" as you get your ideas on paper. But as your essay progresses, you should transform those moments of "telling" into more powerful and convincing moments of "showing."

Having meaningful reflections is a critical part of having compelling essays. But make sure your takeaways are not surface-level or generic. Each admissions officer has likely read thousands of essays, so they are well aware of the common ideas and tropes. Avoid cliché ideas at all costs, because it comes across as forgettable and unoriginal. Instead, it is okay to start with surface-level ideas, but keep asking yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" to push your ideas deeper.

This essay tells a nice story of overcoming their physical impediment, but ultimately lacks meaningful reflections in the conclusion. Too much time is spent on "the problem" and not enough on how they overcame it. Your conclusion should have your best, most compelling ideas in your entire essay. Try ending your essay by connecting to the beginning with a new perspective, expanding on your idea with a new takeaway, or connecting to broader, more universal themes. Avoid having a conclusion that "sounds nice," but ultimately is lacking in meaningful content.

Personal Statement Example #8: Game Design Music

This essay was admitted into Cornell University . It discusses a common conflict of ideology that comes with pursuing the arts. What the author does brilliantly is show how that conflict was reconciled, as well as how it changed their perspective.

My mom used to tell me this a lot. She’d always disapproved of my passion for the arts.

In this essay, the author does a fantastic job of showing how they are thoughtful in considering the perspectives of others, even though they may disagree. Showing that you can entertain ideas that you may disagree with is an admirable trait that admissions officers love to see, because intellectual discussion is all about trying to see other people's views. When writing about things that you may disagree with, try to play devil's advocate and see things from their point of view. Doing so will make you come off as thoughtful, understanding, and inquisitive, and it will strengthen your own viewpoint if you can identify arguments against it.

The best essays help admissions officers understand how you think about things. One strategy is to offer up questions to explore. These can be questions that arose during a particular moment or questions that you're reflecting upon right now. By using questions in your essay, you'll also present yourself as a thoughtful and curious thinker. Ultimately, you want to help the reader see things from your perspective by showing your thought process.

A good starting place for reflection can be in comparing and contrasting different topics. This could finding the similarities and differences in an extracurricular and an academic class, or any other number of things. By finding the similarities in things often thought of as "opposing," or finding the differences in things thought of as "similar," you can get to interesting ideas. Comparisons are useful because they force you to think from a different viewpoint. For example in this essay: How does "programming" relate to "song lyrics"?

This essay ends on a note that feels somewhat off-topic and not as interesting as their main idea. The conclusion leaves more to be wanted, as the reader ends up thinking: Are you simply seeking the approval of your parents? Or are you carving your own path in life? Or does the answer lie somewhere in between? Avoid ending your essay with a tangential idea. Instead, a strong conclusion is often closely related to the main point of your essay, but with a slight twist. By planning out your essay before writing, you can make sure that each point (from start to finish) connects the way you want it to and that your conclusion ends on a strong, well-connected note.

Personal Statement Example #9: Speech and Debate

I was still high off the competition, poring over ballots by the soft streetlights as we drove. “Are you sure you want to do this?” My Dad was worried about me. Worried about my world crashing down around me, losing friends, being crushed by hate. Scarred by controversy. I laughed it off, and we rode in silence.

Fast forward to my second or third year in the league. I wanted to have some fun. I emailed the regional coordinator, asking if there’s a rule against a speech advocating for same-sex marriage.

This essay has lots of interesting ideas about having discussions between people of different viewpoints. This student is able to reflect sincerely about what the benefit of that dialogue is ("iron sharpening iron") and able to draw meaningful conclusions ("hope lives in that laughter") that express deeper ideas. By focusing on these compelling reflections, this student shows themself as a brilliant and thoughtful thinker, while demonstrating what they value: discourse between opposing viewpoints. Rather than focusing on the literal happenings (i.e. giving a speech to their club), the student reflects on what that experience represents more broadly, which allows them to connect to deeper ideas.

This essay is full of details, without being wordy or drawn out. Even small details like naming the show "The Daily Show" or giving a number of "40,000+ theologies" makes their writing much more engaging and compelling. By avoiding broad and vague language, this student paints a fascinating picture that allows the reader to enter their world. It is always better to be specific than to be generic, but make sure that the specific details are always relevant to your point. This essay is a great example of how to do both.

This essay does a fantastic job of creating a "voice." That is, you can easily imagine the student as if they were speaking to you while reading it. To craft this voice, this student uses small moments of more informal language and interjecting remarks that show their thought process. Using parentheses can be a good way to show your voice by jumping in when you have a small remark to add. This student also demonstrates a sense of humor and lightheartedness while still discussing meaningful ideas. The sarcastic remark "because controversy has no place in a debate club!" demonstrates their values (of dialogue between differing viewpoints) as well as showing their sense of personality.

This essay's weakest point is its intro or "hook." In fact, it could work much better by excluding the introduction paragraph and starting off with the second paragraph: "Forgive the melodrama: this is a story..." That short phrase is much more captivating and immediately draws the reader in. The introduction paragraph in this essay is too much of a meandering and vague story: you don't know what they're talking about, and ultimately it doesn't matter. Rather than using a fancy story or descriptions to introduce your essay, try jumping into the "meat" of your essay immediately. Consider using a short, declarative sentence or phrase like "Forgive the melodrama" as a hook, which is more impactful and draws the reader immediately into your essay.

Personal Statement Example #10: Finding Answers

Common App Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? (250-650 words)

My grandmother’s concern faded rather quickly as sirens fell distant and time passed.

After about 30 minutes, my grandfather’s friend ran toward the beach. My grandfather was not next to him. He was not there at all. At that moment, my grandma knew.

“Burt...he was with me...he slipped...he fell...I ran down the side of the mountain, off the trail, but I couldn’t find him. The park rangers are looking...” She stopped listening. She could see his lips moving, yet she heard nothing.

This essay repeats a lot of the same ideas or information, just using different words. Rather than "getting to the point," this repetition makes the essay feel meandering and like it is going nowhere ultimately. When drafting your essay, it is okay to have repetition (your drafts shouldn't be perfect, after all). But when editing, ask yourself with each sentence: does this add something new? Is this necessary to my main point? If not, you should exclude those sentences.

This essay starts off with a drawn-out story of the tragedy involving the author's grandfather. Most of this story is unnecessary, because all that really matters for this student's main idea is the fact that their grandfather passed away from a tragic accident. Details about his grandmother or his grandfather's best friend are unnecessary and distracting.

An important "rule" in college essays is to only write from your perspective. That is, don't describe things that you couldn't have seen or experienced. In this essay, the author spends a lot of time describing their grandfather's incident as if they was there to witness it. But we later learn that the author was not even alive at this point, so how could they be describing these things? On a smaller level, don't describe yourself from an outside perspective. For example, instead of, "I grimaced when I heard the news" (how did you see yourself grimace?) you could say, "I felt my stomach pang when I heard the news."

Your ideas are most valuable in your essays. Admissions officers want to see how you think, and having interesting ideas that are unique to you is how you demonstrate that you're thoughtful and insightful. Avoid surface-level ideas at all costs, as it comes off cliché. It is okay to start with more generic ideas, but you should always delve deeper. To get at deeper and more unique ideas, the key is to ask yourself questions. For example: Why is this the case? Why don't things work differently? What does this mean for other people? What does this represent? How can I apply this to other areas of life?

Personal Statement Example #11: Connecting with Others

Common App Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. (250-650 words)

It's important to create a "voice" in your personal statement, so that admissions officers can imagine your character and personality. Try to write as you would speak, but refined and polished. In this essay, natural-sounding phrases like "...let me admit, I was awful..." humanizes the author and makes the reader feel like they're being spoken to.

This essay is a perfect example of how effective essays don't need to have a super unusual story to be compelling. What makes this essay's story compelling is not necessarily the topic itself (meeting distant relatives), but instead how the student reflects and makes interesting connections to broader ideas. Even seemingly mundane experiences can make for meaningful personal statements topics.

This conclusion works well by connecting to the main story of the essay. However, certain phrases like "As a global citizen" and "I am hoping to forge relationships" are potentially too generic. Instead, try taking your main idea (in this case forming connections with others) and broaden it or connect to more universal ideas.

Personal Statement Example #12: Summer Confidence

This essay has a heartfelt moment where the author connects deeply with a camper and feels a sense of genuine gratitude. By showing their newfound connection with a person they were mentoring, this creates a sense of humanity and also tells a lot about the author themself. By talking about other people in your life, you create a literary "foil" which in turn describes something about yourself. Showing how you interact with others can be telling into your character, such as showing your empathy, sense of humor, friendliness, or how you draw inspiration from others.

This essay does a good job of expressing vulnerability, specifically the author's fears about the future and "deteriorating friendships" after going to college. By being vulnerable, these moments feel more relatable to the reader. Showing your struggles (especially emotional ones) can also make your later "successes" feel more impactful when you show how you've overcame them or persist in face of those struggles. By recognizing your flaws or insecurities, you also show self-awareness, which is a positive trait because you need to be self-aware in order to improve the areas of yourself you want to fix.

Although this essay does reflect upon the lessons learned during their time at this camp, the takeaways are ultimately surface-level and not delved into. Rather than saying things like "I had more confidence," it would be more engaging to show how that confidence made an effect and what exactly that "confidence" meant. This essay touches upon some meaningful lessons, but ultimately they fall flat because the nuances of these lessons are glossed over. Phrases like "upon further consideration it no longer fills me with...apprehension" don't delve into the most interesting part: How and why did that fear go away? What changed about your perspective and why? Instead, these are explained away with "confidence and maturity," which are too broad of terms and feel meaningless because they are overused in essays.

In your personal statement, it is completely OK to reference people by their first name. Using names makes your essay more vivid and engaging, while showing a deeper connection that you have with others. Rather than saying "other people" or "one of the older campers," it would be more impactful to use their first name. There are some caveats, however. Don't use their name if you're showing them in a negative light (which you probably shouldn't do anyway) or if you're revealing something personal about them. If you are revealing something personal, you can substitute their name for another name, or ask them for their direct permission.

Personal Statement Example #13: First Impressions

It had a nice ring to it, but I wasn’t a fan. Unfortunately, that’s what I imagined everyone saw first, and first impressions stick.

A caveat of my surgery was that the hair would grow, then one-third would fall off. My scar will never be completely gone, but I no longer feel defined by it like I did in elementary school.

An effective hook doesn't need to be complicated. Often, the best hooks are simple, declarative sentences. By using a short sentence, you'll immediately draw the reader into your essay and create a point of emphasis. In general, avoid long and meandering sentences to start your essay, and save those for later in your essay. Clear and succinct phrasing is often the hallmark of a strong hook.

To convey your ideas more strongly, show them using concrete examples. In this essay, the author does a great job of that by not saying "classmates only saw me for my scar," but instead showing that idea through the memorable image of "I learned about my classmates through their lunchbox covers...they saw me as the boy with the scar." Using tangible imagery makes for a compelling way of expressing your ideas, as it allows the reader to come to the conclusions you want them to, without just "telling" them.

Avoid exaggerating or "fluffing up" experiences in your essays. Instead, be realistic and tell them for what they are. This essay does that perfectly by using phrases like "I didn't have a sudden epiphany about my scar." Avoid using phrases like "suddenly, I..." which are often overused and unrealistic. Most new understandings aren't acquired in one moment in particular, but are developed over time.

This essay touches on some compelling ideas, such as how people can distill down other people into their physical attributes or ailments. However, it would be even stronger to delve deeper into these reflections by asking further questions: Why do we gravitate towards "categorizing" people based on surface-level attributes? What is the impact of only be acknowledged for surface-level characteristics by others, but knowing that you have much more depth to your character? This essay has some meaningful ideas, but other ideas such as "I can be whatever I want to be" feel surface-level and somewhat generic.

Personal Statement Example #14: Law Career

One great way to have interesting ideas is to show things that you find fascinating that other people may find boring. This essay describes how a judge mandating "reprimands for speeding tickets might be dull for some," but how they find it interesting. Everything, even the seemingly mundane, has interesting aspects if you're willing to look closely enough. When brainstorming, ask yourself: what do I find fascinating that others find boring? What do I think is "fun" while others may think it is "hard" or boring? By following these threads, you can often find unique and compelling ideas that allow you to bring the reader into your world and show them how you see the world uniquely.

A common trap when writing a personal statement is to use a descriptive, fiction-like story to start your essay. Although this may sound like a good idea, it is often ineffective because it buries what is most interesting (your ideas and reflections) and can easily be long and drawn out. Short, concise stories with a focus can be effective introductions, but in general avoid overly descriptive storytelling to start your essay. Also, avoid describing things that aren't critical to your main point. There is little to no benefit in describing things like "I smoothed my skirt and rose slowly from the chair." Focus on why your stories matter, rather than telling stories in a descriptive manner.

This essay does have some reflections, particularly about how the author discovered their passion for law by joining the Youth Court. However, most of these ideas end there, and there aren't any deep, unique ideas. The closest the author comes to having a unique and compelling idea is the final sentence where they write "the value of prioritizing the common good above individual success." This could be a fascinating topic to explore, but ultimately is cut short because it is tagged onto the ending. Your focus when brainstorming and drafting should be to have specific and original ideas—ideas that are not generic, not cliché, and not surface-level. To get to those ideas, ask yourself probing questions like "Why" and "How" over and over.

Personal Statement Example #15: Growing Up Asian

Personal statement example #16: secrets of riddles.

Common App Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? (250-650 words)

As I was going to St. Ives, Upon the road I met seven wives; Every wife had seven sacks, Every sack had seven cats: Cats, sacks, and wives, How many were going to St. Ives?

The riddles of life were not as straightforward as the puzzles in my books and websites. In fact, they were not straightforward at all, like winding mazes of philosophical quandary.

One of the most thought-provoking subjects that preoccupies my mind regards the existence of aliens. Initially, my mind was settled on the possibility of intelligent life. A universe so big could not possibly be lifeless.

As for the solution to the riddle at the start:

How many were going to St. Ives?

This essay does well by having a unique central topic—riddles—which allows the author to draw out interesting ideas related to this theme. Your topic doesn't necessarily need to be profound or hugely significant, because this author shows how you can take a seemingly unimportant topic and use it to make meaningful connections. In this essay, riddles grow to represent something greater than the activity itself, which is something you can do with almost any topic.

One of the most effective ways to "show, not tell" is to use specific and tangible examples. This essay does a great job of exemplifying their ideas. Rather than just saying "I enthralled my friends with questions," the author also shows this: "Over peanut butter and sliced ham, I assumed the role of story teller..." Examples are always more convincing because they are proof, and allow the reader to interpret for themselves. Don't tell the reader what you want them to think. Instead, set up moments that guide the reader to come to those conclusions themselves.

This conclusion connects back to the beginning, which is generally a good idea as it creates a cohesive structure. However, this ending doesn't quite make sense in the context of the riddle. Rather than creating new meaning, it comes off as arbitrary and contrived. Make sure your conclusion isn't creative just for creative-sake, and instead also has significant meaning attached to it.

Personal Statement Example #17: Rubik's Cube

Personal statement example #18: narrative diversity.

If your cultural background or identity is an important part of who you are, then writing about it can make for a compelling essay. Often times in college admissions, Asian-Americans in particular are advised to "hide" their ethnic background, because it can be perceived to hurt their application. This student embraces their Asian heritage by recognizing ways in which they faced societal barriers. As this essay shows, regardless of your identity, there are unique aspects you can delve into that can make for compelling topics.

This essay does a great job of reflecting upon previously held beliefs, such as "I unconsciously succumbed to the 'reserve and quiet' Asian stereotype," and challenging them. Questioning your beliefs and where they came from can often be a good starting point for interesting reflection. Showing your new perspectives over time also conveys self-growth. Ask yourself: what did I once believe (in regards to myself, an activity, other people, etc.), what do I believe now, and how has this changed?

Rather than starting off with an activity and then reflecting upon it, this student takes a different approach. By introducing an interesting idea (the representation of underrepresented groups in media) and then later connecting to their activities, it makes the incorporation of those extracurriculars seem more appropriate and natural. The last thing you want to do is list your activities plainly, but it's still important to reference them. One strategy to naturally talk about your activities and accomplishments is to attach them to interesting ideas, as this essay shows.

Personal Statement Example #19: Search for Dreams

Common App Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design. (250-650 words)

The diamond leaves of gnarled oak trees throw spectrums of color onto mounds of frosty snow that gleam melancholily under the moonlight. The leaves chime as wind violently rustles them in a haunting melody. I splinter a leaf off its branch and inspect the shard of my illusion, eyes dancing with amusement.

As I dwell in my worries, a cold hand reaches from behind me and taps my shoulder.

I jerk away, fear bubbling in my amygdala as I look into the nonexistent eyes of my intruding visitor.

The moon illuminates a blob of pink squish as it draws back slowly, points its spindly hands towards my drink and asks: “Could I have some of that?”

The blob wipes its invisible mouth with its nonexistent sleeve. I ask: “What are you?”

The blob tells me to stop looking at it so suspiciously. “I can prove it,” It says. I tell it, please, go ahead.

Suddenly we are back in the glowing forest. “Diamonds? Pah!” The blob dismisses them. Instantly, the leaves turn solid gold, the snow melts, and the wintry world is thrown into a blistering summer.

The blob laughs heartlessly. “Your cortex is under my control,” it says smugly.

“I heard you had a question for me?” It taps its invisible ears knowingly.

The blob wriggles its invisible brows as it waits.

It smiles that wicked smile. It laughs that sinful laugh. Then that insufferable blob wakes me up.

As I sit up in the dark and rub my bleary eyes, I am vaguely aware of the deep­set unfulfillment settling itself inside me. I yawn and plop back into bed, the soft red glow of my alarm clock indicating that it is still before midnight.

One thing is for sure about this essay: it has a unique idea that has surely not been written before. Regardless of your topic, you want your essay to be unique in some way, even if it isn't as fantastical as this essay. You can use a unique structure, such as having central symbolism, metaphor, or being structured as a recipe, for example. But this can easily become "gimmicky" if it doesn't have a clear purpose. In general, the most effective way to have a unique essay is to focus on having deep and unique ideas and reflections. By focusing on interesting takeaways and connections that are ultra-specific to you and your experiences, your essay will standout regardless of the structure.

This essay uses a lot of fiction-like writing that is fantastical and "flowery." Although moments of this kind of writing can make your essay more vivid, it is quite easy to end up with dense storytelling and descriptions that ultimately don't share anything interesting about you. The purpose of your essay is ultimately to learn about you: your values, your ideas, your identity, etc. By using dense story-like writing, it can be easy to lose focus of what admissions officers are looking for. In general, avoid writing "fancy" stories like this essay, unless you have a clear and distinct purpose for doing so. Everything in your essay should have a purpose in "going somewhere" (i.e. reaching interesting ideas and takeaways).

This essay is definitely creative, but lacks meaningful takeaways and ideas. By the end of the essay, we don't know much about the author besides the fact that they have an affinity for creative writing and are "on a search." Although the content is unique, the end result comes off as quite generic and surface-level because no interesting thoughts are explored deeply. The most interesting part of this essay is "I open my mouth and ask it my most crucial question," but this is super unsatisfying because the question is never divulged. Instead, the reader is teased by this fantasy story and the essay goes nowhere meaningful, which comes off as gimmicky and "creative for creative's sake," rather than deeply personal and interesting.

This essay ends on the idea of "continuing my search," but for what exactly? It is never explained, elaborated, or even implied (besides one reference to painting earlier). That makes this conclusion comes off as somewhat surface-level and uninteresting. Admissions officers won't care about "your search" unless they have a reason to care. That is, unless it tells something specific about you. On it's own, this idea of "exploring" and "searching" is meaningless because it is too broad and unelaborated.

Personal Statement Example #20: Recipe for Success

Step 1: Collect the ingredients

Step 2: Marinate the meat

Step 3: Wrap the dumplings

Step 4: Boil or pan-fry?

Step 5: Share and enjoy!

This essay has a clearly unique format in that it is structured as a dumpling recipe. By walking the reader through each step of dumpling-making, the student is able to explore various ideas and use the dumpling process as a metaphor for their own self-discovery. Having a creative structure like this can be beneficial, so long as you also have compelling ideas and the structure isn't unique just for the sake of being unique.

This whole essay is one big metaphor: the student compares their self-growth to the process of making dumplings. In doing so, the student introduces their heritage, while also having a creative literary device that they can use to explore various topics. By having a "central theme" such as this essay does, it makes it easier to explore a variety of ideas and activities, without seeming like you're listing them.

Struggles are one of the most defining aspects of self-development, and admissions officers are interested to see how you have overcome challenges. These difficulties don't need to be extreme tragedies or insurmountable obstacles, but everyone has faced difficulties. By reflecting upon those difficulties, you can draw out interesting ideas, showcase vulnerability, and express your personality.

What You Can Learn From These Personal Statement Examples

With these 20 Personal Statement examples, you can get inspired and improve your own essays. If you want to get accepted into selective colleges this year, your essays need to make you stand out.

These 20 examples show how real students got into highly selective schools and teach us several lessons for writing your own successful Personal Statement essay:

• Write a compelling first sentence that grabs the reader
• Be specific and reference things by name
• Tell a meaningful story
• Reflect on your life and identity. Be self-aware.

If you enjoyed these personal statement examples, check out some of our top Common App Essays , which are also personal statements essays, but for the Common Application.

Which of these personal statement examples was your favorite?

Ryan Chiang , Founder of EssaysThatWorked.com

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How to Write a Personal Statement (with Tips and Examples)

By Hannah Yang

Table of Contents

What is a personal statement, 6 tips on how to write a personal statement, personal statement examples (for college and university), faqs about writing personal statements, conclusion on how to write a personal statement.

How do you tell someone who you are in just a few hundred words?

It’s certainly no easy task, but it’s one almost every college applicant must do. The personal statement is a crucial part of any college or university application.

So, how do you write a compelling personal statement?

In this article, we’ll give you all the tools, tips, and examples you need to write an effective personal statement.

A personal statement is a short essay that reveals something important about who you are. It can talk about your background, your interests, your values, your goals in life, or all of the above.

Personal statements are required by many college admission offices and scholarship selection committees. They’re a key part of your application, alongside your academic transcript, standardized test scores, and extracurricular activities.

The reason application committees ask you to write a personal statement is so they can get to know who you are. 

Some personal statements have specific prompts, such as “Discuss a period of personal growth in your life” or “Tell us about a challenge or failure you’ve faced.” Others are more open-ended with prompts that essentially boil down to “Tell us about yourself.”

No matter what the prompt is, your goal is the same: to make yourself stand out to the selection committee as a strong candidate for their program.

Here are some things a personal statement can be:

It can be funny. If you have a great sense of humor, your personal statement is a great place to let that shine.  

It can be vulnerable. Don’t be afraid to open up about hardships in your life or failures you’ve experienced. Showing vulnerability can make you sound more like a real person rather than just a collection of application materials.  

It can be creative. Candidates have got into top schools with personal statements that take the form of “a day in the life” descriptions, third-person short stories, and even cooking recipes.

Now we’ve talked about what a personal statement is, let’s quickly look at what a personal statement isn’t:

It isn’t a formal academic paper. You should write the personal statement in your natural voice, using first-person pronouns like “I” and “me,” not in the formal, objective language you would use to write an academic paper.

It isn’t a five-paragraph essay. You should use as many paragraphs as you need to tell your story instead of sticking to the essay structure you learned in school.

It isn’t a resumé. You should try to describe yourself by telling a clear and cohesive story rather than providing a jumbled list of all of your accomplishments and ambitions.

Here are our top six tips for writing a strong personal statement.

Tip 1: Do Some Serious Self-Reflection

The hardest part of writing a personal statement isn’t the actual process of writing it.

Before you start typing, you have to figure out what to write about. And that means taking some time to reflect on who you are and what’s important in your life.

Here are some useful questions you can use to start your self-reflection. You can either answer these on your own by writing down your answers, or you can ask a trusted friend to listen as you talk about them together.

What were the key moments that shaped your life? (e.g. an important friendship, a travel experience, an illness or injury)

What are you proud of? (e.g. you’re a good listener, you always keep your promises, you’re a talented musician)

How do you choose to spend your time? (e.g. reading, practicing soccer, spending time with your friends)

What inspires you? (e.g. your grandmother, a celebrity, your favorite song)

Doing this self-reflection is crucial for figuring out the perfect topics and anecdotes you can use to describe who you are.

Tip 2: Try to Avoid Cliché Topics

College application committees read thousands of personal statements a year. That means there are some personal statement topics they see over and over again.

Here are a few examples of common personal statement topics that have become cliché:

Winning a tournament or sports game

Volunteering in a foreign country

Moving to a new home

Becoming an older sibling

Being an immigrant or having immigrant parents

If you want to make a strong impression in the application process, you need to make your personal statement stand out from the crowd.

But if your chosen personal statement topic falls into one of these categories, that doesn’t necessarily mean you shouldn’t use it. Just make sure to put a unique spin on it so it still delivers something the committee hasn’t seen before.

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Tip 3: Show, Don’t Tell

One common mistake you might make in your personal statement is to simply tell the reader what you want them to know about you, such as by stating “I have a fear of public speaking” or “I love to cook.”

Instead of simply stating these facts, you should show the committee what you’re talking about through a story or scene, which will make your essay much more immersive and memorable.

For example, let’s say you want the committee to know you overcame your fear of public speaking. Instead of writing “I overcame my fear of public speaking,” show them what it was like to be onstage in front of a microphone. Did your palms get clammy? Did you feel light-headed? Did you forget your words?

Or let’s say you want the committee to know you love to cook. Instead of writing “I love to cook,” show them why you love to cook. What’s your favorite dish to cook? What does the air smell like when you’re cooking it? What kitchen appliances do you use to make it?

Tip 4: Connect the Story to Why You’re Applying

Don’t forget that the purpose of your personal statement isn’t simply to tell the admissions committee who you are. That’s an important part of it, of course, but your ultimate goal is to convince them to choose you as a candidate.

That means it’s important to tie your personal story to your reasons for applying to this specific school or scholarship. Finish your essay with a strong thesis.

For example, if your story is about overcoming your fear of public speaking, you might connect that story to your ambition of becoming a politician. You can then tie that to your application by saying, “I want to apply to this school because of its fantastic politics program, which will give me a perfect opportunity to use my voice.”

Tip 5: Write in Your Own Voice

The personal statement isn’t supposed to be written in a formal tone. That’s why they’re called “personal” statements because you have to shape it to fit your own voice and style.

Don’t use complicated or overwrought language. You don’t need to fill your essay with semicolons and big words, unless that’s how you sound in real life.

One way to write in your own voice is by speaking your personal statement out loud. If it doesn’t feel natural, it may need changing. 

Tip 6: Edit, Edit, Edit!

It’s important to revise your personal statement multiple times in order to make sure it’s as close to perfect as possible.

A single typo won’t kill your application, but if your personal statement contains multiple spelling errors or egregious grammar mistakes, you won’t be putting your best foot forward.

ProWritingAid can help you make sure your personal statement is as clean as possible. In addition to catching your grammar errors, typos, and punctuation mistakes, it will also help you improve weaknesses in your writing, such as passive voice, unnecessary repetition, and more.

Let’s look at some of the best personal statements that have worked for successful candidates in the real world. 

Harvard Personal Statement Example

Love. For a word describing such a powerful emotion, it is always in the air. The word “love” has become so pervasive in everyday conversation that it hardly retains its roots in blazing passion and deep adoration. In fact, the word is thrown about so much that it becomes difficult to believe society isn’t just one huge, smitten party, with everyone holding hands and singing “Kumbaya.” In films, it’s the teenage boy’s grudging response to a doting mother. At school, it’s a habitual farewell between friends. But in my Chinese home, it’s never uttered. Watching my grandmother lie unconscious on the hospital bed, waiting for her body to shut down, was excruciatingly painful. Her final quavering breaths formed a discordant rhythm with the steady beep of hospital equipment and the unsympathetic tapping hands of the clock. That evening, I whispered—into unhearing ears—the first, and only, “I love you” I ever said to her, my rankling guilt haunting me relentlessly for weeks after her passing. My warm confession seemed anticlimactic, met with only the coldness of my surroundings—the blank room, impassive doctors, and empty silence. I struggled to understand why the “love” that so easily rolled off my tongue when bantering with friends dissipated from my vocabulary when I spoke to my family. Do Chinese people simply love less than Americans do?

This is an excerpt from a personal statement that got the applicant admitted to Harvard University. The applicant discusses her background as a Chinese-American by musing on the word “love” and what that means within her family.

The writer uses vulnerable details about her relationship with her grandmother to give the reader an understanding of where she comes from and how her family has shaped her.  

You can read the full personal statement on the Harvard Crimson website.

Tufts Personal Statement Example

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry’s “Cars and Trucks and Things That Go,” and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon. Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration. Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear. I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

This is the beginning of a personal statement by Renner Kwittken, who was admitted into Tufts University as a pre-medical student.

Renner uses a humorous anecdote about being a pickle truck driver to describe his love for nanomedicine and how he got involved in his field. You can feel his passion for medicine throughout his personal statement.

You can find Renner’s full essay on the Tufts Admissions page.

Law School Personal Statement Essay Example

For most people, the slap on the face that turns their life around is figurative. Mine was literal. Actually, it was a punch delivered by a drill sergeant at Fort Dix, New Jersey, while I was in basic training. That day’s activity, just a few weeks into the program, included instruction in “low-crawling,” a sensible method of moving from one place to another on a battlefield. I felt rather clever for having discovered that, by looking right rather than down, I eliminated my helmet’s unfortunate tendency to dig into the ground and slow my progress. I could thus advance more easily, but I also exposed my unprotected face to hostile fire. Drill sergeants are typically very good at detecting this type of laziness, and mine was an excellent drill sergeant. So, after his repeated suggestions that I correct my performance went unheeded, he drove home his point with a fist to my face. We were both stunned. This was, after all, the New Army, and striking a trainee was a career-ending move for a drill sergeant, as we were both aware. I could have reported him; arguably, I should have. I didn’t. It didn’t seem right for this good sergeant, who had not slept for almost four days, to lose his career for losing his temper with my laziness. Choosing not to report him was the first decision I remember making that made me proud.

These are the first three paragraphs of an anonymous personal statement by a Wheaton College graduate, who used this personal statement to get into a top-25 law school.

This statement describes a time the applicant faced a challenging decision while in the army. He ended up making a decision he was proud of, and as a result, the personal statement gives us a sense of his character.

You can find the full essay on the Wheaton Academics website.

Here are some common questions about how to write a personal statement.

How Long Should a Personal Statement Be?

The length of your personal statement depends on the specific program you’re applying to. The application guidelines usually specify a maximum word count or an ideal word count.  

Most personal statements are between 500–800 words. That’s a good general range to aim for if you don’t have more specific guidelines.  

Should Personal Statements Be Different for Scholarships?

Many scholarship applications will ask for personal statements with similar prompts to those of college applications.

However, the purpose of a personal statement you’d write for a scholarship application is different from the purpose of one you’d write for a college application.

For a scholarship application, your goal is to showcase why you deserve the scholarship. To do that, you need to understand the mission of the organization offering that scholarship.

For example, some scholarships are meant to help first-generation college students get their degree, while others are meant to help women break into STEM.

Consider the following questions:

Why is this organization offering scholarships?

What would their ideal scholarship candidate look like?

How do your experiences and goals overlap with those of their ideal scholarship candidate?

You can use the same personal anecdotes you’d use for any other personal statement, but you’ll have a better chance of winning the scholarship if you tailor your essay to match their specific mission.

How to Start a Personal Statement

You should start your personal statement with a “hook” that pulls the reader in. The sooner you catch the reader’s attention, the more likely they’ll want to read the entire essay.

Here are some examples of hooks you can use:

A story (e.g. When the spotlight hit my face, I tried to remind myself to breathe. )

A setting description (e.g. My bedroom floor is covered with dirty laundry, candy wrappers, and crumpled sheet music. )

A funny anecdote (e.g. When I was a little kid, my friends nicknamed me Mowgli because of my haircut. )

A surprising fact (e.g. I've lived in 37 countries .)

There you have it—our complete guide to writing a personal statement that will make you stand out to the application committee.

Here’s a quick recap: 

A personal statement is a short essay that shows an application committee who you are

Start with a strong hook that pulls the reader in

Tell a story to engage the reader 

Write in your own voice, not in a formal tone

Good luck, and happy writing!

Hannah Yang

Hannah is a speculative fiction writer who loves all things strange and surreal. She holds a BA from Yale University and lives in Colorado. When she’s not busy writing, you can find her painting watercolors, playing her ukulele, or hiking in the Rockies. Follow her work on hannahyang.com or on Twitter at @hannahxyang.

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• Knowledge Base
• Applying to graduate school
• How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

How to Write Your Personal Statement | Strategies & Examples

Published on February 12, 2019 by Shona McCombes . Revised on July 3, 2023.

A personal statement is a short essay of around 500–1,000 words, in which you tell a compelling story about who you are, what drives you, and why you’re applying.

To write a successful personal statement for a graduate school application , don’t just summarize your experience; instead, craft a focused narrative in your own voice. Aim to demonstrate three things:

• Your personality: what are your interests, values, and motivations?
• Your talents: what can you bring to the program?
• Your goals: what do you hope the program will do for you?

This article guides you through some winning strategies to build a strong, well-structured personal statement for a master’s or PhD application. You can download the full examples below.

Urban Planning Psychology History

Table of contents

Getting started with your personal statement, the introduction: start with an attention-grabbing opening, the main body: craft your narrative, the conclusion: look ahead, revising, editing, and proofreading your personal statement, frequently asked questions, other interesting articles.

Before you start writing, the first step is to understand exactly what’s expected of you. If the application gives you a question or prompt for your personal statement, the most important thing is to respond to it directly.

For example, you might be asked to focus on the development of your personal identity; challenges you have faced in your life; or your career motivations. This will shape your focus and emphasis—but you still need to find your own unique approach to answering it.

There’s no universal template for a personal statement; it’s your chance to be creative and let your own voice shine through. But there are strategies you can use to build a compelling, well-structured story.

The first paragraph of your personal statement should set the tone and lead smoothly into the story you want to tell.

Strategy 1: Open with a concrete scene

An effective way to catch the reader’s attention is to set up a scene that illustrates something about your character and interests. If you’re stuck, try thinking about:

• A personal experience that changed your perspective
• A story from your family’s history
• A memorable teacher or learning experience
• An unusual or unexpected encounter

To write an effective scene, try to go beyond straightforward description; start with an intriguing sentence that pulls the reader in, and give concrete details to create a convincing atmosphere.

Strategy 2: Open with your motivations

To emphasize your enthusiasm and commitment, you can start by explaining your interest in the subject you want to study or the career path you want to follow.

Just stating that it interests you isn’t enough: first, you need to figure out why you’re interested in this field:

• Is it a longstanding passion or a recent discovery?
• Does it come naturally or have you had to work hard at it?
• How does it fit into the rest of your life?
• What do you think it contributes to society?

Tips for the introduction

• Don’t start on a cliche: avoid phrases like “Ever since I was a child…” or “For as long as I can remember…”
• Do save the introduction for last. If you’re struggling to come up with a strong opening, leave it aside, and note down any interesting ideas that occur to you as you write the rest of the personal statement.

Once you’ve set up the main themes of your personal statement, you’ll delve into more detail about your experiences and motivations.

To structure the body of your personal statement, there are various strategies you can use.

Strategy 1: Describe your development over time

One of the simplest strategies is to give a chronological overview of key experiences that have led you to apply for graduate school.

• What first sparked your interest in the field?
• Which classes, assignments, classmates, internships, or other activities helped you develop your knowledge and skills?
• Where do you want to go next? How does this program fit into your future plans?

Don’t try to include absolutely everything you’ve done—pick out highlights that are relevant to your application. Aim to craft a compelling narrative that shows how you’ve changed and actively developed yourself.

My interest in psychology was first sparked early in my high school career. Though somewhat scientifically inclined, I found that what interested me most was not the equations we learned about in physics and chemistry, but the motivations and perceptions of my fellow students, and the subtle social dynamics that I observed inside and outside the classroom. I wanted to learn how our identities, beliefs, and behaviours are shaped through our interactions with others, so I decided to major in Social Psychology. My undergraduate studies deepened my understanding of, and fascination with, the interplay between an individual mind and its social context.During my studies, I acquired a solid foundation of knowledge about concepts like social influence and group dynamics, but I also took classes on various topics not strictly related to my major. I was particularly interested in how other fields intersect with psychology—the classes I took on media studies, biology, and literature all enhanced my understanding of psychological concepts by providing different lenses through which to look at the issues involved.

Strategy 2: Own your challenges and obstacles

If your path to graduate school hasn’t been easy or straightforward, you can turn this into a strength, and structure your personal statement as a story of overcoming obstacles.

• Is your social, cultural or economic background underrepresented in the field? Show how your experiences will contribute a unique perspective.
• Do you have gaps in your resume or lower-than-ideal grades? Explain the challenges you faced and how you dealt with them.

Don’t focus too heavily on negatives, but use them to highlight your positive qualities. Resilience, resourcefulness and perseverance make you a promising graduate school candidate.

Growing up working class, urban decay becomes depressingly familiar. The sight of a row of abandoned houses does not surprise me, but it continues to bother me. Since high school, I have been determined to pursue a career in urban planning. While people of my background experience the consequences of urban planning decisions first-hand, we are underrepresented in the field itself. Ironically, given my motivation, my economic background has made my studies challenging. I was fortunate enough to be awarded a scholarship for my undergraduate studies, but after graduation I took jobs in unrelated fields to help support my parents. In the three years since, I have not lost my ambition. Now I am keen to resume my studies, and I believe I can bring an invaluable perspective to the table: that of the people most impacted by the decisions of urban planners.

Strategy 3: Demonstrate your knowledge of the field

Especially if you’re applying for a PhD or another research-focused program, it’s a good idea to show your familiarity with the subject and the department. Your personal statement can focus on the area you want to specialize in and reflect on why it matters to you.

• Reflect on the topics or themes that you’ve focused on in your studies. What draws you to them?
• Discuss any academic achievements, influential teachers, or other highlights of your education.
• Talk about the questions you’d like to explore in your research and why you think they’re important.

The personal statement isn’t a research proposal , so don’t go overboard on detail—but it’s a great opportunity to show your enthusiasm for the field and your capacity for original thinking.

In applying for this research program, my intention is to build on the multidisciplinary approach I have taken in my studies so far, combining knowledge from disparate fields of study to better understand psychological concepts and issues. The Media Psychology program stands out to me as the perfect environment for this kind of research, given its researchers’ openness to collaboration across diverse fields. I am impressed by the department’s innovative interdisciplinary projects that focus on the shifting landscape of media and technology, and I hope that my own work can follow a similarly trailblazing approach. More specifically, I want to develop my understanding of the intersection of psychology and media studies, and explore how media psychology theories and methods might be applied to neurodivergent minds. I am interested not only in media psychology but also in psychological disorders, and how the two interact. This is something I touched on during my undergraduate studies and that I’m excited to delve into further.

Strategy 4: Discuss your professional ambitions

Especially if you’re applying for a more professionally-oriented program (such as an MBA), it’s a good idea to focus on concrete goals and how the program will help you achieve them.

• If your career is just getting started, show how your character is suited to the field, and explain how graduate school will help you develop your talents.
• If you have already worked in the profession, show what you’ve achieved so far, and explain how the program will allow you to take the next step.
• If you are planning a career change, explain what has driven this decision and how your existing experience will help you succeed.

Don’t just state the position you want to achieve. You should demonstrate that you’ve put plenty of thought into your career plans and show why you’re well-suited to this profession.

One thing that fascinated me about the field during my undergraduate studies was the sheer number of different elements whose interactions constitute a person’s experience of an urban environment. Any number of factors could transform the scene I described at the beginning: What if there were no bus route? Better community outreach in the neighborhood? Worse law enforcement? More or fewer jobs available in the area? Some of these factors are out of the hands of an urban planner, but without taking them all into consideration, the planner has an incomplete picture of their task. Through further study I hope to develop my understanding of how these disparate elements combine and interact to create the urban environment. I am interested in the social, psychological and political effects our surroundings have on our lives. My studies will allow me to work on projects directly affecting the kinds of working-class urban communities I know well. I believe I can bring my own experiences, as well as my education, to bear upon the problem of improving infrastructure and quality of life in these communities.

Tips for the main body

• Don’t rehash your resume by trying to summarize everything you’ve done so far; the personal statement isn’t about listing your academic or professional experience, but about reflecting, evaluating, and relating it to broader themes.
• Do make your statements into stories: Instead of saying you’re hard-working and self-motivated, write about your internship where you took the initiative to start a new project. Instead of saying you’ve always loved reading, reflect on a novel or poem that changed your perspective.

Your conclusion should bring the focus back to the program and what you hope to get out of it, whether that’s developing practical skills, exploring intellectual questions, or both.

Emphasize the fit with your specific interests, showing why this program would be the best way to achieve your aims.

Strategy 1: What do you want to know?

If you’re applying for a more academic or research-focused program, end on a note of curiosity: what do you hope to learn, and why do you think this is the best place to learn it?

If there are specific classes or faculty members that you’re excited to learn from, this is the place to express your enthusiasm.

Strategy 2: What do you want to do?

If you’re applying for a program that focuses more on professional training, your conclusion can look to your career aspirations: what role do you want to play in society, and why is this program the best choice to help you get there?

Tips for the conclusion

• Don’t summarize what you’ve already said. You have limited space in a personal statement, so use it wisely!
• Do think bigger than yourself: try to express how your individual aspirations relate to your local community, your academic field, or society more broadly. It’s not just about what you’ll get out of graduate school, but about what you’ll be able to give back.

You’ll be expected to do a lot of writing in graduate school, so make a good first impression: leave yourself plenty of time to revise and polish the text.

Your style doesn’t have to be as formal as other kinds of academic writing, but it should be clear, direct and coherent. Make sure that each paragraph flows smoothly from the last, using topic sentences and transitions to create clear connections between each part.

Don’t be afraid to rewrite and restructure as much as necessary. Since you have a lot of freedom in the structure of a personal statement, you can experiment and move information around to see what works best.

Finally, it’s essential to carefully proofread your personal statement and fix any language errors. Before you submit your application, consider investing in professional personal statement editing . For $150, you have the peace of mind that your personal statement is grammatically correct, strong in term of your arguments, and free of awkward mistakes.

A statement of purpose is usually more formal, focusing on your academic or professional goals. It shouldn’t include anything that isn’t directly relevant to the application.

A personal statement can often be more creative. It might tell a story that isn’t directly related to the application, but that shows something about your personality, values, and motivations.

However, both types of document have the same overall goal: to demonstrate your potential as a graduate student and s how why you’re a great match for the program.

The typical length of a personal statement for graduate school applications is between 500 and 1,000 words.

Different programs have different requirements, so always check if there’s a minimum or maximum length and stick to the guidelines. If there is no recommended word count, aim for no more than 1-2 pages.

If you’re applying to multiple graduate school programs, you should tailor your personal statement to each application.

Some applications provide a prompt or question. In this case, you might have to write a new personal statement from scratch: the most important task is to respond to what you have been asked.

If there’s no prompt or guidelines, you can re-use the same idea for your personal statement – but change the details wherever relevant, making sure to emphasize why you’re applying to this specific program.

If the application also includes other essays, such as a statement of purpose , you might have to revise your personal statement to avoid repeating the same information.

If you want to know more about college essays , academic writing , and AI tools , make sure to check out some of our other language articles with explanations, examples, and quizzes.

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• Literature review
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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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• A Shifting Structure
• Introductions
• Body Paragraphs
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• Organization for Prompted Personal Statement
• Skill: Development
• Revise a Personal Statement
• Timed Writing (Audience & Register)
• Integrated Writing (Audience & Register)
• Comparison Writing
• Alternative Project: Reviews
• Example Comparison Writing
• Skill: Unity
• Sources: Summarizing
• Revise Comparison Writing
• Timed Writing (The Prompt)
• Integrated Writing (Paraphrasing)
• Persuasive Writing
• Alternative Project: Reflections
• Example Persuasive Writing
• Skill: Cohesion
• Sources: Paraphrasing
• Revise Persuasive Writing
• Timed Writing (Scope & Scale)
• Integrated Writing (Content)
• Appendix A: Sentence Variety
• Simple Sentences
• Compound Sentences
• Complex Sentences Part 1
• Complex Sentences Part 2
• Compound-Complex Sentences
• Appendix B: Using Sources
• Finding Sources
• In-text Citations
• More about Reference Pages
• Teacher Resources
• Translations

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I have found in animation the perfect way to tell a story. I have always been passionate about art. Since I was a child I found myself drawing and creating stories about magical places and extraordinary characters. It was a way to challenge reality and to expand my artistic creativity. As most children, I loved animated movies. They allowed me to dream, and to learn about simple but powerful things. The characters, the story, the music, the colors. Everything was wonderful. I wanted to be part of that. I wanted to do something that could give me the freedom to use all my creative skills in order to one day be part of the animated world. To be part of the memories of thousands of children and, since animation is not only for kids, luckily I can make all kinds of people feel the magic of an animated film. I am confident that I can grow significantly using my creative skills in [Name of Program].

I have two big passions that have developed with me as I have grown up. The first one is drawing. I have tons of notebooks full of doodles and sketches that I have filled out all my life. It is hard for me not to draw or doodle when I have paper and pencil in my hands, it is just natural to me. The second one is writing stories. I remember making short clips with my friends as a teenager with the stories I wrote or just being in my room, thinking of these funny characters and fantasy universes. I am also an enthusiastic learner, when I am passionate about something I put all of my effort into it. I acquired all my skills and knowledge of the field through self-study. I am very sure that I can make amazing progress once I am accepted. In addition to this I enjoy teamwork, which I know is essential during all the animation process. Even though I know my skills I can also recognize others’ good ideas and strengths. It is necessary to have vision for this career and to be able to put all your ideas in a single artistic film.

My skills and personal experiences make me useful for this [Name of Program] as it would considerably conduct me to achieve my goals. There are a lot of things I know I can do with the learning environment and creative process during [Program Coursework]. This [Name of Program] is the ideal for me, I want to be part of its community. I know from very talented artists and animators who passed here. I know I can be successful like them. I am aware of my strengths and abilities, which will lead me to be part of animated projects that will represent a role in the childhood and memories of a lot of people.

Exercise 1: Analyze a personal statement

• How is the writer introduced?
• What information do you think the prompt asked for?
• Are the ideas sequenced in a logical order?
• Is there a clearly stated purpose (conclusion) in this personal statement?
• What suggestions would you give this writer to improve the personal statement?

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Last updated July 17, 2024

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Blog > Common App , Essay Examples , Personal Statement > 16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

16 Amazing Personal Statement Examples (2024 Update)

Admissions officer reviewed by Ben Bousquet, M.Ed Former Vanderbilt University

Written by Kylie Kistner, MA Former Willamette University Admissions

Key Takeaway

What’s that old saying? “The best way to learn is by doing.” Well, we believe that, in personal statements and in life, cliches like this should be avoided. That's why we recommend reading some example essays before you start writing your own.

Let’s kick things off with the first example to get your wheels turning.

Personal Statement Example #1: Reinvention

For our first example, which we’ve titled “Reinvention,” we’re going to watch Alex break the essay down paragraph by paragraph. This one’s really good. Let’s take a look.

As Alex explains, this essay takes a couple of (very beautiful!) paragraphs to get to its central message: reinvention. Once we reach that turning point, the writer seamlessly introduces us to their engineering interests, then returns again to their mother’s influence. The metaphor of “watermelon rinds” ties everything together. The writer comes across as a clever, thoughtful person—one we would surely want on our campus.

(Want to see more video examples and get personalized application and essay help? Let’s work together. )

Now, before we get into our next examples, we should quickly talk about what admissions officers look for in personal statements in the first place.

What does an admissions officer look for in a personal statement?

Before we get to the essays, let’s briefly walk through what goes through an admissions officer’s head when they open an application.

Admissions officers (AOs) read hundreds to thousands of applications in a single year. Different institutions require admissions officers to use different criteria when evaluating applications, so the specifics will vary by school. Your entire application should cohere to form a seamless narrative . You'll be crafting that narrative across the following categories:

• Transcripts and course rigor : AOs look at the classes you’ve taken to assess how much you’ve challenged yourself based on the classes your school offers. They’re also looking at how well you've done in these classes each term.
• Extracurricular activities : When reading through your activities list, AOs look at the activities you’ve done, how many years you’ve participated in them, and how many hours a week you devote to them. They’re assessing your activities for the levels of magnitude, impact, and reach that they demonstrate. (Want to know more about these terms? Check out our extracurricular impact post .)
• Background information : This background information briefly tells admissions officers about demographic and family information, your school context, and any honors or awards you’ve received.
• Letters of recommendation : Letters of recommendation give AOs insight into who you are in the classroom.
• Essays : And, finally, the essays. Whether you’re writing a personal statement or a supplemental essay , essays are the main place AOs get to hear your voice and learn more about you. Your personal statement in particular is the place where you get to lay out your overall application narrative and say something meaningful about your personal strengths.

So, with all that in mind, what does an admissions officer actually look for when reading your personal statement?

A few traits tend to surface across the best personal statements, no matter the topic or format. There are four primary areas you should focus on as you craft your personal statement.

• Strengths : AOs want to know about your strengths. That doesn’t mean bragging about your accomplishments, but it does mean writing about a topic that lets you showcase something positive about yourself.
• Personal meaning : Personal statements shouldn’t be fluff. They shouldn’t be history essays. They should be personal essays that ooze meaning. The topic you choose should show something significant about yourself that the admissions officers won’t get from any other part of your application.
• Authenticity and vulnerability : These characteristics can be the most difficult to achieve. Being “vulnerable” doesn’t mean airing all your dirty laundry. It means revealing something authentic and meaningful about who you are. To be vulnerable means to go beyond the surface level to put yourself out there, even to admissions officers who you’ve never met.
• Clear organization and writing : And lastly, admissions officers also want your essay to be organized clearly so it’s easy to follow along. Remember that admissions officers are reading lots of applications, even in one sitting. So you want to make your reader’s job as easy as possible. Thoughtful and skillful writing can also help take your personal statement to the next level.

If you want to know more about how to incorporate these traits into your own essay, we have a whole guide about how to write the perfect personal statement .

But for now, let’s get into the examples.

We’ve broken up the example personal statements into three categories: best personal statement examples, good personal statement examples, and “bad” personal statement examples. These categories show you that there is a spectrum of what personal statements can look like. The best examples are the gold standard. They meet or exceed all four of the main criteria admissions officers are looking for. The good examples are just that: good. They’re solid examples that may be lacking in a specific area but are still effective personal statements. The “bad” examples are those that don’t yet stack up to the expectations of a personal statement. They’re not objectively bad, but they need some specific improvements to align with what admissions officers are looking for.

Here we go!

The Best Personal Statement Examples

Writing an exceptional personal statement takes a lot of time and effort. Even the best writers can find the genre challenging. But when you strike the perfect chord and get it right, it’s almost like magic. Your essay jumps off the page and captures an admissions officer’s attention. They feel like you’re right there with them, telling them everything they need to know to vote “yes” on your admission.

The following essays are some of our favorites. They cover a range of topics, styles, and student backgrounds. But they all tell meaningful stories about the writers’ lives. They are well-organized, use vivid language, and speak to the writers’ strengths.

For each essay, our team of former admissions officers have offered comments about what makes the essay exceptional. Take a look through the annotations and feedback to see what lessons you can apply to your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #2: Thankful

My family has always been broke. Saturday mornings and Thursday evenings, always the same drill: the kids (my brothers and me) would be loaded in the car with my parents and off we’d all go to the food pantry. New clothes were few and far between, and going on vacation was something that we could only dream of. Despite our financial struggles, one year, my parents decided to surprise us with a trip to Disney Land. It was a complete shock to me and my siblings. We were over the moon. In fact, the screams of excitement that emanated from my younger brother’s mouth still ring in my ears.

But as the trip drew close, my excitement tempered and I began to worry. Being poor when you’re young doesn’t just affect you materially. It also affects how you see the world and loads you up with a whole range of anxieties that, in an ideal world, no child should have to face. How were my parents going to afford this, I wondered? Would an expense like this push us over the brink?(( The beginning of this essay, and especially this sentence, show the writer’s empathy. They are not selfish; they understand their broader family context and take that into consideration.)) I didn't want to ruin the surprise by asking, but I couldn't shake the feeling of dread building inside of me.

The day of our trip arrived and we set off for the airport. In the car, my dad made an off-the-cuff comment about a new video game that he’d wanted to play but didn’t buy, and everything clicked—my parents had made the trip possible by saving for months, cutting back on expenses and sacrificing their own comforts to make the trip happen.

As we boarded the plane, I was filled with a mix of emotions. I was grateful beyond words for my parents' sacrifice, but I was also overwhelmed by the guilt of knowing that they had given up so much for us. I didn't know how to express my gratitude; when we deplaned in LAX, I gave my mom and dad a rib-crushing hug.

The trip itself was everything that I had dreamed of and more. We spent four magical days at Disney Land(( Nice use of vivid details here. The reader can picture the sights and smells of Disney—and the ensuing hunger when passing a churro stand.)) , speed running the roller coasters and campy boat rides from the 70s. Sure, we packed our own food and walked right by the churro stands with a hungry look in our eyes. But I will never forget the feeling of unmitigated joy that my family shared on that trip, the smiles that painted my parents’ faces.

But the trip itself was nothing compared to the gratitude I felt for my parents(( Here, the writer transitions to reintroducing the theme of gratitude.)) . They had given us the gift of a lifetime, and I knew that I would never be able to repay them for their sacrifice.

In the years since that trip, I have carried that feeling of gratitude with me. It has motivated me to work hard and to always strive to be the best person that I can be. I want to make my parents proud and to show them that their sacrifice was worth it(( Finally, the writer sums things up with an eye to the future. It’s helpful for an admission officer to picture what the essay’s lessons might mean for the student as a future community member.)) .

I will never be able to fully express my gratitude for what my parents did for us, but I will always remember their selflessness and their willingness to put their own needs aside for the sake of our happiness. It was a truly surprising and incredible act of love, and one that I will always be thankful for.

AO Notes on Thankful

This essay accomplishes a few things even though it essentially tells one story and offers a quick reflection. It gives some important context regarding the challenges of being from a lower-income family. It does that in a way that is authentic, rather than problem-focused. It also shows that the writer is empathetic, family-oriented, and reflective.

Why this essay stands out:

• Vulnerability : This essay is upfront about a challenging topic: financial insecurity. While you don’t have to tell your most difficult challenge in an essay, this writer chose to write about a circumstance that gives additional context that may be helpful as admissions considers their application.
• Personal : The writer gets into some family dynamics and paints a picture of how their family treats and takes care of each other.
• Values: We clearly see some values the writer has and that they don’t take their parents’ sacrifices for granted. As an admission officer, I can picture this student using their education to give back—to their family or to others.

Personal Statement Example #3: Pickleball

I’ve always been one to have a good attitude no matter the circumstances. Except when it comes to exercise. From dodgeball in PE class to family Turkey Trots, I’m always the first one out and the last one across the finish line. These realities aren’t from a lack of skill—I’m actually quite coordinated and fast. They are from a lack of effort(( This is a quick hit of… either humor or vulnerability. I chuckled at the blunt honesty, and am intrigued to learn more.)) . Despite my best intentions, I can never get myself to care about sports or competitions. So when my dad first asked me to be his pickleball partner last summer, I did nothing but laugh.

But soon, I realized that he was serious. My dad started playing pickleball two years ago as a fun way to exercise. He’d become a star in our city’s recreation league, and I always enjoyed cheering him on from the sidelines. When his doubles partner got relocated for work, my dad decided that the disruption was a good opportunity for us bond through pickleball. Even though I was mortified by the thought of running back and forth to hit a bouncing ball, I reluctantly agreed.

The next Saturday morning, we went to the court for our first practice. I was wearing sweatpants, an old sweatshirt, and a grimace. My dad showed me how to hold the paddle, serve, and return the ball to our opponents. He told me about staying out of the kitchen—an endearing pickleball term that references the “kitchen,” or the middle part of the court—trying to make me laugh. Instead, I sighed impatiently and walked to my end of the court, ready to get it over with.

My dad remained patient in spite of my bad attitude. He gently served me the ball, and I gave a lackluster attempt to return it. The ball bounced into the net. I hadn’t even made it to his side of the court. Trying his best to encourage me, my dad gave me the ball so I could serve it to him instead. I tossed the ball up and hit it underhand toward my dad. It hit the net again. I tried again and again, each attempt with less care than the last. I grew frustrated and threw my paddle down in anger(( Okay, this paragraph gives a good dose of openness to the emotions of the writer. They’ve served up an opportunity to learn a lesson soon…)) .

After seeing my mini-meltdown, my dad crossed the kitchen to talk to me. During our conversation, I began to ask myself why I got so frustrated when I wasn’t trying very hard in the first place. I thought pickleball was a miserable sport, but I realized that it wasn’t pickleball that I cared about. I cared about my dad. I wanted to make him proud(( Ah, and there it is! A realization. As the admission officer I’m thinking, “Go on…”)) . Playing pickleball with him was the least I could do to thank him for everything he’d done for me. I dusted off my bad attitude alongside my paddle, and I got up to try another serve.

That serve hit the net again. But more determined now, I kept trying until my serves went over the net and through my dad’s weak side. I couldn’t believe it. My attitude adjustment helped me see the game for what it was: a game. It wasn’t supposed to be agonizing or cruel. It was supposed to be fun.

I learned that my attitude towards sports was unacceptable. This experience taught me that it’s okay to have preferences about what you enjoy, but it’s important to always maintain a positive attitude(( And the lesson learned! )) . You may just enjoy it after all.

Now my dad and I are both stars in our recreation league. Soon, we will make our way to our league’s semi-finals. We’ve worked our way through the bracket and are close to the championship. What I appreciate more about this experience, however, is how close it’s brought my dad and I together. His patience, positivity, and persistence have and will always inspire me. I want to be more like him every day, especially on the pickleball court.

AO Notes on Pickleball

This is a strong “attitude adjustment” essay, a bit of a remix of a challenge essay. The challenge, in this case, was a fixed mindset about sports that needed to be adjusted. The writer takes us on a witty journey through their own attitude towards organized athletic activities and their father.

• Self-aware : Similar to the vulnerability of other essays, this writer is willing to criticize themselves by recognizing that they need an attitude adjustment. Even before they changed their attitude, we get the sense that they are at least aware of their own lack of effort.
• Strong conclusion : We see a nice lesson at the end that relates both to having an open mind and caring for others. They even make a point about simply enjoying things because they are fun.
• Life lesson : Beyond the stated lesson, as an admission officer with a few more years on this Earth than the writer, I can tell this lesson will apply beyond sports. In fact, I can easily picture this student trying a new class, club, or group of friends in college because they are now more open to novel experiences.

Personal Statement Example #4: The Bird Watcher

I’m an avid walker and bird watcher(( Okay, the writer gets right into it! I think this simple introduction of the topic works well because they are writing about a less common hobby among teenagers. If they had said “I am an avid baseball player”, I would have been less eager to learn more.)) . Growing up, I’d clear my head by walking along the trail in the woods behind my house. By the time I was immersed in the chaos of high school, these walks became an afternoon routine. Now, every day at three o’clock, I don my jacket and hiking shoes and set off. As I walk, I note the flora and fauna around me. The wind whispering through the trees, the quiet rustling of a chipmunk underfoot, and the high-pitched call of robins perched atop branches, all of it brings me back to life after a difficult day.

And recently, the days have been more difficult than not. My grandparents passing, parents divorcing, and doctor diagnosing me with ADHD have presented me with more challenges than I’ve ever experienced before. But no matter what’s going on in my life, the wildlife on my walks brings me peace. As an aspiring ornithologist, the birds are my favorite(( This paragraph accomplishes a lot: a montage of difficult circumstances, context for their application, and declares their future career.)) .

I became interested in ornithology during long childhood afternoons spent at my grandparents’ house. They would watch me while my parents finished up work. I’d listen to the old bird clock that hung on the wall in the kitchen. Each number on the clock corresponded with a different bird. Every hour, the clock would chirp rather than chime. When the cardinal sang, I knew my parents would be arriving soon. Those chirps are all seared into my memory.

Twelve o’clock: robin. The short, fast, almost laugh-like sound of the robin always makes me hungry. All those Saturday afternoons filled with laughter and good food have resulted in a Pavlovian response. I’d cook meatballs with my grandma, splashing sauce on her floral wall paper. We’d laugh and laugh and enjoy the meal together at her plastic-covered kitchen table. This wasn’t my home, but I felt at home just the same.

Three o’clock: blue jay. It’d chime as soon as we walked in the door after school. The blue jay was my grandpa’s favorite. It was also mine. Why he loved it, I’m not completely sure. But it was my favorite because it marked the beginning of the best parts of my day. Symbolizing strength and confidence, blue jays always remind me of my grandpa.

Six o’clock: cardinal. The sharp whistle and staccato of the cardinal indicated that it was almost time for me to leave. Like the whistle of a closing shift, I’d hear it and start to pack my things. The cardinal has always been my least favorite.

Nine o’clock: house finch. The high, sweet, almost inquisitive call of the house finch was the one my grandma loved most. It was also the one I rarely heard. Either too early or too late in the day, the house finch was reserved for the occasional weekends when I’d spend the night at their house. My grandma would explain that finches symbolize harmony and peace. They are petite but mighty, just like she was(( This is a clever and sweet way of describing summer days with grandparents, while sprinkling in some vivid details to bring the story to life.)) .

This past weekend was the anniversary of my grandpa’s passing. Longing for my grandparents, I went for a walk. Winter is approaching, so the sky was darkening quickly. I walked slowly. As the sun set, I heard the tell-tale squawk of a blue jay, loud and piercing through the chill of the wind. I looked around and saw it sitting on an old stump, a small house finch behind it. I extracted my binoculars from my backpack, hoping to get a better glimpse through the dark. I turned the dial to focus the lenses, just as the birds flew away together. I took a deep breath, binoculars in hand, and continued on, spotting a robin in the distance(( The ending stylistically wraps the essay up without tying a bow on it. It’s a more artful way of concluding, and it works well here.)) .

AO Notes on Birdwatcher

This first two paragraphs are well-written and fairly to-the-point in their language. They do a nice job of setting the scene, but the third paragraph transitions into the writer’s distinctive voice. They detail the birds on the clock to chronicle the hours of their summer days and end, not without concluding, but leaving the reader wanting to read more of their stories.

• Voice: The writer transitions to writing in their own distinct voice, which comes to a crescendo in the final paragraph.
• Interesting approach: Sometimes students use an approach to tell a story that feels overly forced or cliche. This one feels organic and relates nicely to the writer, their family, and the story as a whole.
• Career path : This is far from a “What I want to be when I grow up” essay, but it clearly shows an academic interest grounded in family and childhood memories. This is an artistic and beautiful approach to showing admissions how the writer may use their college education.

Personal Statement Example #5: Chekov’s Wig

At the age of six, I starred in an at-home, one-woman production of Annie. My family watched as I switched between a wig I’d fashioned from maroon yarn, a dog’s tail leftover from Halloween, and a tie I’d stolen from my dad.

When the reveal came that Annie’s parents had actually passed away, I took a creative liberty: they had left Annie a small unicorn farm. The rest of the play proceeded as normal. When the curtain closed, I bowed to the sound of my family’s applause. But one set of hands was missing: my grandmother’s. Instead she sat, arms raised, and jokingly exclaimed, “But what about the unicorns?”(( Wow, an interesting intro! We see creativity and a silly side to the writer. As the admission officer, I’m eager to see where this leads.))

My grandma, an avid thespian, taught me a lot about life. But one of the most important lessons followed this production of Annie . After we laughed about her remark, she introduced me to the concept of Chekov’s gun. For Anton Chekov, brilliant playwright, the theory goes something like this: a writer shouldn’t write about a loaded gun if it’s not going to be fired. In other words, writers shouldn’t include details about something if it won’t serve a purpose in the story later. My unicorn farm had committed this writing faux pas egregiously.

I’m not a natural writer, and I have no goal to become one, but I’ve taken this concept of Chekov’s gun to heart—it forms the foundation of my life philosophy. I don’t believe that everything was meant to be(( This philosophical reflection is a nice introduction to the paragraphs that follow. )) . In fact, I think that sometimes bad things just happen. But I believe that these details will always play a part in our larger story.

The first test of my Chekov’s gun philosophy occurred shortly after Annie when my grandma, my biggest supporter, passed away. My family tried to console me saying that “it was her time to go,” but I disagreed. I couldn’t see how a death could be destined. Instead, I found comfort knowing that her presence, her support, and her death wasn’t for nothing. Like Chekov’s gun, I wasn’t quite sure how or why, but I knew that she would return for me.

As I grew older, my philosophy was tested time and again. Most recently, I fell back on Chekov’s gun as I coped with my parents’ divorce and my subsequent move to a new town. Both events shattered my world. My happy family theatre productions turned into custody hearings and overnight bags. The community I’d found at my old school became a sea of unfamiliar faces at my new one. None of this was meant to be. But as the writer of my own life, I won’t let the details become inconsequential.

I’ve used these events as plot points in my high school experience. Dealing with my parents’ divorce has taught me how to make the best of what’s given to me. I got the chance to decorate two bedrooms, live in both the suburbs and the city, and even have twice the amount of pets. And without the inciting incident of the divorce and move(( We see that the writer is able to make lemonade out of lemons here.)) , I never would have joined a new drama club or landed leading roles in Mama Mia and Twelfth Night. The divorce and move, like Chekov’s gun, have been crucial details in getting me where I’m at today.

I know that Chekov’s gun is more about the details in a story, but this philosophy empowers me to take what happens, the good and the bad, as part of my personal character development. Nothing would be happening if it weren’t important.

This summer, as we cleaned our garage in preparation for yet another move, I found my old Annie wig, yarn tangled from the box. Next to the wig was a note, handwritten in a script I’d recognize anywhere. My darling star, it read. You are going to go on to do great things. Love, Grandma ((And a sweet, or bittersweet, conclusion.)) .

AO Notes on Chekov’s Wig

This essay tells a beautiful story about a foundational philosophy in this young writer’s life. As their admission officer, I can see how grounded and positive they are. I can also imagine them taking this lesson to college: really paying attention to life, reflecting on the past, and understanding the value of even the smallest instances. There is an inherent maturity in this essay.

• Creativity: From the first few sentences, we can see that this student is now, and was as a child, creative. An original thinker.
• Reflective: When challenged by their grandmother, the writer didn’t insist that their way was correct. They took the criticism in stride and absorbed it as a salient life lesson. This shows open-mindedness and an uncommon level of maturity.
• Silver linings: It’s clear that this young writer has had some familial challenges that are likely familiar to some of you. They don’t gloss over them, but instead they learn from them. From having more pets to starring in the school musicals, there are lessons to glean from even life’s more difficult challenges.

Personal Statement Example #6: An Afternoon with Grandmother

The Buddhist temple on the hillside above my home has always possessed a deep power for me. With its towering spires and intricate carvings thousands of years old, it is a place of peace and serenity(( This writer opens with some wonderful imagery. I like how the imagery mirrors the meaning.)) —somewhere I can go to escape the chaos of the world and connect with myself and with my sense of spirituality. When my grandmother called me one January to let me know that she would be coming to visit, I smiled, my mind darting immediately to the temple and to the visit of it we would take together.

My relationship with my grandmother is a special one. After my parents passed away, she and my grandfather raised me for three years before I moved in with my father’s sister. In that time, she was my sole companion; she shared her recipes with me, told me stories, and most importantly, she taught me everything I know about spirituality. We spent countless nights staying up past bed-time, talking about the teachings of the Buddha, and she encouraged me gently to explore my own path to enlightenment(( This topic is accomplishing a lot: we see the writer’s relationship with their grandmother, their personal values, and their ideas about who they want to be in the future.)) .

When my grandmother finally arrived, I felt bathed in a warm glow. After catching up and preparing her favorite meal—red rice with miso soup and hot green tea—I told her about the plans I had for us to visit my special place.

Later that afternoon, as we entered the temple, I felt the calmness and tranquility wash over me. I took my grandmother's hand and led her to the main hall, where we knelt before the altar and began to recite the prayers and mantras that I had learned from her years before.

As we prayed, our voices joined together, echoing throughout the temple. A gentle rain began to fall outside and, as the cold crept around where we knelt, I was engulfed by a deep sense of connection with my grandmother and with the universe. It was as if the barriers between us were falling away, and we were becoming one—with each other, and with our shared connection to the divine.

We finished our prayers and sat in silence, lingering in the serenity of the temple. I could feel my grandmother's hand in mine, and I was filled with a sense of gratitude and love(( A great example of weaving vivid language with explicit reflection!)) .

Spirituality has been essential in my life. It gives me a sense of grounding and purpose, and it teaches me the value of compassion. My spirituality has also given me a way to connect with my grandmother on a deeper level—like a private language that only we speak together. In a world that can often feel chaotic and disconnected, faith and spirituality provide a sense of stability and connection.

As we left the temple, I held my grandmother's hand and felt suffused by a sense of peace and contentment. Too often people who are disconnected from spirituality misunderstand the role it plays in billions of people’s lives. They see it as a way to “check out” from the issues the world faces, ignoring their responsibilities to others. This may be true for others, but not me. Quite the opposite. My spirituality helps me empathize with others(( Wonderful reflection.)) ; it helps me focus on the obligations we each have to every other person and creature on this planet. For me, it is the ultimate way to “check in” to the needs of the world and my community in a way that grounds me emotionally.

Spirituality offers a way to find meaning and purpose in life, and to connect with something greater than ourselves. For that, and for my grandmother, I am truly grateful.

AO Notes on An Afternoon with Grandmother

In this deeply reflective essay, the writer uses spirituality and their relationship with their grandmother to reveal a very personal part of themselves. The writer isn’t afraid to be vulnerable, and they clearly showcase strengths of wisdom and compassion.

• Vivid language: This author is a talented writer who has included a bunch of vivid language. But it’s not over the top. They include just enough to hold a reader’s attention and add some interest.
• Reflection: The reflection throughout this essay is excellent. Notice how it’s not just at the beginning or the end. It’s woven throughout. The writer follows up each major detail with an explanation of why it’s personally meaningful.
• Conclusion: The conclusion combines vivid language and reflection perfectly. By the end of the essay, we know exactly what the writer wants us to take away: spirituality is personally meaningful to them because it helps them connect with the people around them. And I especially like how the writer chose to end on a note of gratitude—always a good value to have in a personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #7: Rosie’s

While most people find their lowest point at rock bottom, I found mine in an Amerikooler DW081677F-8(( We’re definitely off to an odd start. I’m curious where this is headed!)) . With drops rolling down my back and my cheeks, I snuck into the walk-in freezer for a moment of chill.

At that point, I had worked at Rosie's for nearly a year. The job was a good one: it fit with my school schedule, paid well, and introduced me to close friends. But as a workplace, Rosie’s was pure chaos. The original owners passed on a host of problems the new owners were working hard to fix. But the problems ran deep. From an inefficient kitchen organization to a malfunctioning scheduling software, we never knew what to do or when.

The day I found myself in the Amerikooler was the day everything caught up with us(( This is a good transitional phrase that helps readers navigate this fairly complex narrative.)) . An error in our scheduling software led to us operating with only 30% of our typical team. As the only waitress on duty, I ran between the kitchen and the guests, stopping mid-delivery to put new vegetables in the steamers. The kitchen staff were barely getting through each dish before customers lost patience.

Then, in all the commotion, I dropped a plate of macaroni and cheese all over a customer. I apologized over and over again. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I couldn’t believe what I had done. I always tried to be one step ahead to give my customers the best service, so my mistake felt like an utter failure. After helping them clean up, I ran immediately to the freezer. I realized that something had to change.

In the Amerikooler, a pea and corn mix cool on my back, I considered my options. The easiest option was to quit. I could find another job, one that didn’t cause me so much stress. But quitting wouldn’t just mean giving up. It would mean accepting my failure. It would also mean abandoning the coworkers I had grown close to. Leaving them would only burden them more. While I knew it wasn’t my job to fix the restaurant, I knew that leaving wasn’t the answer either. Instead, I decided to focus on solutions(( I like the focus on solutions and action steps here!)) . I stood up from the cold, dirty freezer floor, dusted off my work pants, washed my hands, and got back to work.

Despite being the newest and youngest member of the Rosie’s staff, I recognized that I brought a new perspective to the workplace. Having spent the previous three summers scheduling volunteers for my local food drive, I used my organizing experience to devise a new scheduling system, one that didn’t rely on our outdated technology. I brought up the system at our weekly meeting, and after initial pushback, everyone agreed to give it a try. Three months later, my system keeps everyone happy and our kitchen and floor staffed.

But it wasn’t just the staffing problem that was the issue. Our workflows were inefficient, and we didn’t know how to communicate or collaborate effectively. I know that identifying an issue is always the first step to a solution, so I raised the question at our most recent staff meeting. Having earned my coworkers’ and bosses’ trust(( And here we see some good growth and leadership.)) , I led us in outlining a few new processes to streamline our productivity. In stark contrast to the failure I felt after spilling the macaroni and cheese, developing a new workflow with my coworkers made me proud. I hadn’t given in to the chaos, but I had worked thoughtfully and collaboratively to create new solutions.

I’m sure that won’t be my last time working in a disorganized environment or spilling macaroni and cheese. But I know that I’ll be ready to address whatever comes my way.

AO Notes on Rosie’s

If you’ve ever worked in a food establishment, then something in this essay will probably resonate with you. But I appreciate how the writer doesn’t get pulled into the negativity they experience. Instead, they focused their efforts (and their essay) on how they could make things better for everyone. That’s the kind of student admissions officers want to see on their campuses.

• Organization: The writer has to narrate and backtrack a bit at the beginning of the essay to make the introduction work. But it’s not confusing for a reader because they have very solid transitions. I also like how the action steps and reflection are organized in the narrative.
• Positive outlook: As an admissions officer, I would admire this student for their problem-solving skills. Working in that environment was surely tough, but they didn’t give up. They got to work and helped everyone out in the process.
• Humor: From the introduction to the conclusion, the writer incorporates subtle humor throughout. Because of it, we actually feel like we know the writer by the conclusion. Too much humor can overwhelm a personal essay, but just enough can help readers see who the writer really is.

Personal Statement Example #8: Gone Fishing

I pulled the line with my left hand and snapped the rod back with my right. The line split through the air above me like a knife through cake. I rigidly waved my right arm up and down to dry off my fly, which had started sinking from the weight of the water. Ready to cast, I loosened the grip on my left hand to release a few more feet of line, pulled my right arm back in a grandiose motion, and hammered it back down. I expected my line to fly out in front of me, gracefully floating back onto the surface of the water. Instead, I was met with a startling resistance. My fly had lodged itself into the bush behind me(( This opening paragraph has great vivid description. Here, we end on a moment of suspense that has left me intrigued about what will happen next.)) .

Annoyed, I waded through the tall, thick grass, rod under my arm and mosquitoes buzzing in my ears. This was the reality of fly fishing. In my short time as a fisherman, I’d caught far more trees, bushes, and riverweed than I had fish. What seems so elegant in movies like A River Runs Through It is actually a grueling process of trial and error. I took up flyfishing a year ago to conquer my fear of the outdoors(( Ah ha—we learn that this essay isn’t really about fly fishing. It’s about conquering a fear. And with that, we see that the stakes are high.)) . I could have (and probably should have) chosen a more mild activity like hiking or kayaking, but I’ve always been one to take on a challenge.

I had been afraid of the outdoors since childhood. Coming from a family that prefers libraries to parks and bed and breakfasts to tents, I never learned how to appreciate nature. I limited my time outside as much as I could. I feared the bugs, the sun, and the unknown.

I decided to try flyfishing when I realized I didn’t want to be controlled by my fear any longer(( As an AO, I would applaud this student’s bravery.)) . All the birthday parties I’d turned down, the memories that were made without me, I had missed out on so much. Being outside was an integral part of the human experience—or, at least, that’s what I’d been told. Without being willing to enjoy nature, I was missing out on what it meant to be myself.

Soon after this realization, I found an old rod in my grandpa’s garage and took it as a sign from the universe. On my first time out, my Honda Civic lurched over a ditch on the gravel road Google Maps had directed me to. I’d spent hours watching YouTube videos of proper technique. Stepping out of my car, I felt my skin crack under the dry heat, and I wanted to leave. But I continued on, walking through branches and over logs to the riverbank. I was doing it( More vivid detail that really gives us a sense of the writer’s discomfort—yet they’re persisting.)) .

I pushed myself to continue, no matter how uncomfortable I got. I went back, Saturday after Saturday, each time noticing improvements in my abilities. Along the way, I learned to push myself to do things that make me uncomfortable. I saw myself in a new light. I wasn’t Charlie, afraid of the outdoors. I was Charlie, fisherman.

The first time I caught a fish, I could hardly believe it. Thinking I had caught another piece of riverweed, I tugged on my line and rolled my eyes. But suddenly, it started tugging back. It was a sensation I’d never experienced before, one of haste, pride, and panic. I instantly collected myself, bracing against the bank as I secured the line with my finger and slowly pulled the fish ashore. Delicately removing my hook from its mouth, I admired its beauty. Whereas I had once feared creatures like this trout, I now respected it. Its holographic scales glistened in the sunlight. I thanked it for helping me grow, and I placed it back in the water. It swam away. I wiped the slime off my hands and picked up my rod, left hand tugging at the line, right hand snapping back again((This conclusion is quite long, but I really like this poetic ending. It shows so much growth, and there’s a subtle nod to the fact that the writer is continuing to fish.)) .

AO Notes on Gone Fishing

From all this imagery, I really felt like I was fishing alongside them. What’s better, I feel like I really get where this student is coming from because of their vulnerability. They show immense growth and open-mindedness, which is exactly what admissions officers are looking for.

• Imagery: This writer definitely likes creative writing. From the introduction, we can envision ourselves going on this journey with the writer. There is some excellent “show, don’t tell” here.
• Deep personal meaning: Biggest fears are hard to overcome, especially with such a good attitude. It’s clear that this topic is a meaningful one to the writer. Even the act of fly fishing, which they didn’t seem to like much at first, becomes a meaningful act.
• Narrative arc: We have a classic “going on a journey” essay, where the writer transforms on a journey from point A (being afraid of the outdoors) to point B (catching a fish). The writer’s implementation of this structure is excellent, which makes the essay easy to follow.

Good Personal Statement Examples

Even if your essay isn’t worthy of The New Yorker , you can still make your mark on admissions officers. Writing an essay that fulfills all the goals of a personal statement, whether or not it meets every single criterion an admissions officer is looking for, can still get you into a great college.

Most personal statements are good personal statements, so don’t worry if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the amazing essay examples you see online. The key to writing a good personal statement is writing your personal statement. Focus on finding a topic that lets you communicate your own meaning and voice, and you’ll be set.

The following examples are awesome personal statements. There may be a little room for improvement in places, but the essays do exactly what they need to do. And they say a lot about their writers. Let’s see what the writers and admissions officers have to say.

Personal Statement Example #9: Beekeeper’s Club

As I lift the heavy lid of the hive, the hum of thousands of bees fills my ears. I carefully smoke the entrance to calm the bees, and I begin to inspect the frames. The bees are busy at work, collecting nectar and pollen, and tending to their young. I am in awe of their organization.

I never would have thought that I, a high school student, would become a beekeeper(( An interesting hobby for a high school student! I’m intrigued to see where this is going.)) . But now it’s something I can’t imagine my life without.

It all started when I found a beekeeping suit at a garage sale two summers ago. At a mere five dollars, it was yellowing and musty, but it appeared to be fully intact and without any holes. I’ve lived many lives as a hobbyist, always willing to try new things. I’ve been a sailor, a gardener, a basketball player, a harpist, a rock climber, and more. The problem is that I can never manage to see these hobbies through(( I see. Here we get a sense of what’s at stake in this new venture. The problem is that writer can’t seem to hold down a hobby. Will beekeeping solve that problem? Let’s find out .)) . As a perpetual novice, I always lose interest or become overwhelmed by all the information. But that’s never stopped me from taking up a new hobby, so I brought the beekeeping suit to the make-shift register and handed the seller a five-dollar bill.

To embark on my new hobby, I first went to the library and read everything I could find about beekeeping. Research is always my first step when starting something new. I like to know what I’m in for. As I read, I became fascinated by the fact that such small creatures can serve such a critical role on our planet. I learned about the importance of bees for pollinating crops, and I read that their populations have been declining in recent years. I was determined to do my part to help. This wasn’t just a hobby anymore— it was a mission(( And the stakes just got higher.)) .

But like the bees I’d been reading about, I knew I couldn't do it alone. My years of abandoning hobbies had taught me that this time, I needed guidance from someone with experience. I knew the first place to look. At the farmer’s market that Saturday, I went straight to the honey stand and introduced myself. The vendor’s name was Jeremy, and he was excited to see someone so young taking up beekeeping. I asked if I could come see his hives sometime, and he agreed.

I showed up the next weekend with my used beekeeping suit in hand. Jeremy gave me a tour. I was astounded by the simultaneous simplicity and complexity. As the months went by, Jeremy became my mentor. He taught me the importance of monitoring the health of the hive, how to properly harvest honey, and even the ins and outs of the farmer’s market business.

I was grateful for his guidance and friendship. I found myself becoming more and more passionate about bees and the art of beekeeping.

After months of tending to my hive, I finally had it up and running. These bees were in my care(( The writer has shown us that they’ve learned a big lesson from their past failures: they need support and guidance. I’m impressed that this time they are making an intentional change.)) —this was one hobby I couldn’t abandon. With that knowledge and Jeremy’s support, one hive grew to five. I’m not in it for the money or even the honey. I’m in it for the bees, for the millimeter of difference I’m making in their lives and in the life of the earth.

Through beekeeping, I have found a community of people who share my love for bees. Jeremy, the bees, and the entire beekeeping community have taught me not to quit. We support each other, share tips and advice, and work together to help protect these important insects. And in the process, I have learned that I can take up any new hobby I want and stick with it if I just put in enough effort(( Yep—the writer has come out of this journey on the other side, having learned that their effort does pay off.)) .

AO Notes on Beekeeper’s Club

As an admissions officer, it’s always fun to read about students’ eccentric hobbies. I’d count this as one of them. But what’s better than learning about the hobby is seeing a student’s personal growth.

What makes this essay good:

• Personal journey: Most good personal statements show some kind of personal growth. In this case, we see that the writer has grown mature and aware enough to hold down a hobby. We see that it wasn’t an easy road, but they got there.
• Strengths: There are lots of strengths in this personal statement. We see self-awareness, initiative, teamwork, and care for the bees and the planet.
• Reflection: Part of what makes this personal journey so good is that the writer takes us on the journey with them through reflection. At each stage of the journey, we know exactly what the writer is thinking and feeling. By the end, we’re celebrating their success with them.

What the writer could do to level up:

• Personal meaning: Yep, “personal journey” and “personal meaning” can be two separate things. Although the writer goes on a great personal journey, the personal meaning seems to be lacking a bit. It’s clear that this is an important topic to the writer, but it doesn’t exactly come across as an especially vulnerable one. The writer could make it more vulnerable by incorporating more personal meaning into their reflection: what would it have meant if they had quit beekeeping too? What’s the problem with dropping hobbies in the first place? Why is it personally important to learn to stick with things?

Personal Statement Example #10: Ann

Pushing her blonde curls from her forehead, she pursed her lips in focus(( This vivid, detailed description really draws me in.)) . She sat with legs crossed across the kitchen chair. This was it: the moment she’d been preparing for. Her tiny hand gripped the pencil as if it were a stick of dynamite and twitched her fingers up, down, and back again. She looked up at me and smiled, teeth too big for her growing mouth. “Ann,” the paper read. As I glowed back at my mini-me, I saw in her my whole heart(( And here the focus switches from Ann to the writer—an important transition.)) .

My sister was technically an accident, born when I was eleven years old. But I know that, in the grand scheme of things, Ann’s existence was destined by the cosmos. Watching her write was like looking in a mirror. My hair has long since turned brown, but she and I deal with the same unmanageable curls. Her toothy grin developed over five years of mutual laughter. And she got that unwavering focus from watching me do my own homework each night. At the same time I’ve taught her the ways of the world, she’s taught me joy, patience, and persistence(( Lessons learned! This sentence really draws attention to the main theme. It could be a little more specific because “joy, patience, and persistence” are almost cliche.)) .

I had been an only child for my first decade of life. I remember being lonely and without purpose. With Ann came the opportunity to make a real impact on someone, even as a child myself. The night she was born, I vowed to protect her. I had never seen anyone so small and fragile, and I begged my parents to let me hold her. Next to mine, her hand looked like a doll’s. It was purple and pink from the ordeal of birth. Her eyes barely opened, but I couldn’t keep mine off her.

Many older siblings find their younger siblings to be nuisances. But Ann has always been my best friend. Her first two years of life, she struggled with health issues that scared us all. I felt helpless and afraid, but I knew I had to fight alongside her. I did everything I could: I grabbed diapers and bottles for my parents, I talked to her for hours on end, and, when she was old enough, I spoon fed her and encouraged her to eat. As Ann grew bigger and stronger, I grew stronger, too(( It sounds like this was a really difficult challenge for the writer and their family. I appreciate this picture we get of the writer in relation to Ann.)) .

Each year has gotten better than the previous. I was there to catch Ann when she took her first steps, teach her her first words, and get her dressed every day. She tagged behind me as I took photos before my first dance, got my learner’s permit, and went on my college tours. While being a teen with a toddler sibling wasn’t always perfect, Ann’s mere presence makes those around her feel loved and appreciated. She’s exactly who I aspire to be.

Watching her write her name at the kitchen table, I became overwhelmed with the thought of leaving her to head off to college. She still has so much to learn, so many ways to grow. But just as the thought entered my mind, she spoke in her high-pitched and innocent voice. “When you go to college,” she asked, “will you tell me about your classes?” I blinked away the tears gathering in my eyes, smoothed her curls with my hand, and pulled her in close.

Going to college won’t mean leaving Ann. It will mean opening her world—and mine—to endless new knowledge and possibilities. She’ll grow and change, and so will I. When we reunite, we’ll smile our toothy smiles and embrace each other, our curly hair intertwining. We’ll sit at the kitchen table, focused and laughing, like nothing has changed(( I like how the siblings are continuing to grow together, but at the end of the day, they still have their amazing relationship.)) .

AO Notes on Ann

I always find sibling essays like this one so sweet. It’s amazing how clearly we can understand someone solely through their interactions with a loved one. As an admissions officer, I would see that this student would be a great community member (and roommate!).

• Deeply meaningful: Especially with the family context, it’s apparent that this topic is deeply meaningful to the writer. Because it’s so meaningful a topic, the writer is able to show an immense amount of care for Ann without even trying. AOs love seeing traits like care, maturity, and the ability to grow.
• Clear message: Personal statements should have themes that encompass the main message the writer wants to convey. This essay’s message is clear as day: the writer is a better, happier, more generous person because of Ann. They are an awesome sibling.
• More about the self: This one’s tricky because we get an implicit sense of who the writer is now through the overall tone and meaning. But a lot of the personal examples the writer chose are old examples from childhood and early adolescence. Some of those are important to provide family context, but I still would have liked to get a more recent picture of the writer.

Personal Statement Example #11: Running through My Neighborhood

My mind and eyes began to wander as I turned the corner on my fourth mile. I’ve always been a runner. It's a way for me to relax and challenge myself. Running makes me feel like I’m one with the world around me. As I run, I can't help but be struck by the beauty of the buildings and people that make up my city. Each is a work of art—a carefully-crafted expression of my community. With every step, I feel a deep connection to the life around me(( This introduction covers a lot, so this last sentence could be a bit more specific.)) .

On my run, I find myself drawn to the intricate details of the buildings. I admire the way the light catches on centuries-old bricks, casting shadows that dance across the pavement below. I look up at the skyscraper windows that nearly touch the sky, frightened at the sight of window washers. Old and new, the buildings all carry stories.

In the same way, I admire the neighbors around me. I see them feeding pigeons, smiling at me as I pass by. They’re walking dogs and babies, talking on a park bench, and playing hopscotch. I run by them, fast but steady, and breathe it all in. I’m on this beautiful city block, surrounded by people whose whole lives are familiar yet mysterious, and I’m running.

But it's not just the aesthetic beauty of the buildings that grabs my attention. As I run, I find myself thinking about the stories and histories behind each one. I wonder about the people who built them, the families they had at home, the lives they led. I think about the people who have lived and worked in these buildings and the memories that have been made within their walls.

Take the local bakery, for instance. I’ve run by there a thousand times in my life, each time soaking up the smell of freshly-baked bread and pastries. The building seems unassuming at first, with a simple glass door and brick façade. But once you step foot inside, you’re immediately hit with the warmth of the staff and patrons. The old photos on the wall and cozy furniture that has been there since the bakery’s opening back in the 1950s—it feels like home(( These are great vivid details.)) . The bakery is everything I value about my neighborhood. It completely represents what kind of neighbor I want to be. Plus, it’s not a bad place for a post-run snack.

Through my runs, I’ve also made connections with those who frequent the sidewalks alongside me. One of the people I see regularly on my runs is Mrs. Carter, an elderly woman who always has a kind word and a smile for everyone she meets. Her white hair is carefully curled, and her face is dimpled with laugh lines from thousands of conversations like ours. She often stops to chat with me, asking how my day is going and sharing stories from her own life. I always look forward to seeing her. She’s like the grandmother I never had. Mrs. Carter inspires me to be a better community member every day(( This kind of reflection brings the focus back to the writer’s personal journey.)) .

Running through my neighborhood is about more than just staying fit. It’s also about being in community with those around me. As I weave through the people on the sidewalk, I feel as though I am weaving myself through their stories, picking up tidbits and adding them to my own narrative. I wouldn’t be who I am today without these runs that have taught me so much. I can’t wait to run across my college campus, admiring my new surroundings and meeting my new neighbors(( I like this gesture to the future—as an AO, I would start to picture this student running through my campus, too!)) .

AO Notes on Running through My Neighborhood

Running essays can get a bad rap in college admissions. But this one overcomes that stereotype. At its core, this essay is about the runner’s relationship to their community. I really appreciate how much care and enthusiasm this writer shows for those around them.

• Writing: The writer’s voice shines through. They have great vivid descriptions, and we’re really able to envision ourselves in the neighborhood alongside them.
• Personal meaning: The way the writer describes those they encounter in their neighborhood shows that this isn’t a minor part of their life. Their runs are a big deal. The people they see along the way have greatly shaped who they are.
• Greater focus on self: Now, there are much worse culprits when it comes to personal essays that focus on people other than the writer. But the writer does toe the line. Their descriptions mostly focus on those around them, and while there is some reflection that connects their own experience to other people, it doesn’t actually take up much space in the essay. To level up, the writer could make this essay more about themself.

Personal Statement Example #12: Musical Installation Art

As a child, I was always drawn to stringed instruments(( The hook could have more punch, but this gets the job done.)) . I would pluck at my dad's old guitars, create makeshift harps with dental floss, and even play around with the banjo and harp in music class. As I got older, I realized that I wanted to focus on making my own instruments. And where better to start than in my dad's scrapyard? The yard sprawled out for almost five acres behind our house. It was a marvel of junk and oddities, with the accumulated garbage from hundreds of junker cars built up in our backyard. I grew up playing there, leading a childhood that most parents would probably see as reckless—rolling tires through narrow alleyways between crushed cars stacked high. But for me, the backyard was an endless playground for my imagination.

It was there that I discovered the joys of welding and soldering. I would rummage through piles of metal and find pieces that I could fashion into something new. My first sculptures were simple, resembling birds or dogs and pieced together from strips of metal. I’d look for similar art everywhere I went, grasping for inspiration. At a fair one weekend, I saw a booth run by an artist who built guitars. After speaking with him about his art, he asked to see a picture of my sculptures. I showed him and explained that I hoped to make my own instruments one day, too. He scuttled to the back of his tent and returned with a gift: a set of thick copper strings. “Try using those,”(( What an endearing story.)) he told me.

My first sculpture instrument was a crude thing—little more than a board of metal with pegs that I used to pull the copper strings tight. But I tightened them, I was in love—spending all night plucking away. At first, the instrument wailed and screeched. String by string, I delicately tuned the wires into sirens. I had created something that played music, and I was so proud.

My experience building the instrument motivated me to enroll in a sculpture class at the local community college. It was there that I learned how to properly solder metal and create more complex structures. For my final project, I made a three-foot-tall, four-stringed metal instrument in the shape of a dragon.

But as I worked, I started to realize that my dragon wasn't going to be beautiful in the traditional sense. Its metal body was jagged and uneven, and the strings were stretched tight across its back in a way that produced discordant, almost abrasive music. I tried to adjust the tuning, but no matter what I did, the music remained harsh and unpleasant.

At first, I was disappointed. I wanted my dragon to be a work of art, something that people would marvel at and love listening to. But as I continued to play with it, I started to see the beauty in the chaos(( This paragraph shows wonderful growth. And as a reader, I’m drawn in trying to imagine what the sculpture actually looks like.)) . The music it produced was like a musical language that I had invented, one that was wild and untamed. It was a reflection of my own creativity and individuality. A discordant collection of notes that sounded like they’d been tuned so as to be atonal. But I didn't care. I was a scrapyard kid, and this dragon played the song of my people: strong, innovative, and beautiful.

The combination of sculpture and music fascinates me. How does the shape of a fabrication affect the kind of sound that the object produces? What sounds do different materials produce? As I’ve learned more about sculpture, I’ve also become interested in installation art that has sound dimensions. I want to capture people’s visual and aural attention to inspire questions about how we navigate the aesthetic world(( It sounds like this topic potentially relates to the student’s future goals. If that’s true, there could be a clearer academic connection here.)) . And I’ll use whatever scraps I can find to make my creations.

AO Notes on Musical Installation Art

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a piece of musical installation art myself, so this topic really held my attention. I appreciate the journey the writer went on to learn that their art may not look like everyone else’s, but it can be just as impactful.

• Topic: I like this topic not only because it’s not one you see every day but also because it lets the writer reveal a lot about themself and their background. We see where they grew up and who they grew up with, and we also learn about this deeply meaningful personal interest.
• Writing style: This author has a very distinct writing style. In some ways, the writing style mirrors their art style—abrupt at times, melodic at others.
• Organization: The first half of this essay doesn’t always match up with the second half. Even though we’re still able to see the writer’s journey as a metal artist and musician, there’s still a bit of streamlining that needs to happen.

Personal Statement Example #13: Ski Patrol

I can never get enough of being in the mountains(( This hook isn’t very compelling, so it could use some more attention.)) . I am a skier through and through. Growing up, I spent countless family vacations on the slopes with my dad and siblings. I love the rush I get speeding down the mountain—I’ve improved so much over my life that I can now handle most runs I come across. But last year, I took my love for skiing to a whole other level by joining ski patrol.

It was mid-December, and my family had decided to take a weekend away to go skiing. Everything was going normally at first. We had a good day on the slopes and wanted to go one more run before calling it a night. We took a moment to rest and watched the person in front of us go. Only seconds after she headed down the mountain, something happened with her ski. She catapulted into a nearby tree. People raced to check on her, while we stayed back and alerted ski patrol.

When ski patrol arrived, I watched in amazement. They moved in such a precise way. They were like a machine—everyone knew exactly what to do when. Thankfully, it was a false alarm and the skier only had a few scratches. But my own life was changed forever. I knew then that I wanted to be a part of this team, to help others in a tangible way and to make a difference on the mountain that had always been my home.

As soon as I could, I applied for the Junior Ski Patrol team. I had to go through a tryout process on the hill, which made me nervous. But it felt good to be surrounded by people who loved skiing as much as I do. Thankfully, I was accepted shortly after; it was one of the best days of my life. Now on Junior Ski Patrol, I have the opportunity to do what I love – skiing – while also making a positive impact on others(( And here we get to the heart of the essay. The writer wants to help others while doing something they love. It’s a noble pursuit!)) . My team shadows the adult Ski Patrol, and we learn a lot of lessons along the way.

On the mountain (and in life), you never know what challenges might arise. One of the most important things I’ve learned from Junior Ski Patrol is to be prepared for anything. I’ve gotten my CPR and first aid certifications so I’m always prepared to administer life-saving care to anyone who might need it. I know how to pack a bag full of enough essentials to survive harsh weather or injuries.

But ski patrol has also taught me so much more than just how to help others. It has shown me how I work best on a team. I’m not naturally a leader, which is something I’ve always felt ashamed about. After learning from our mentors who all fulfill different roles on their adult Ski Patrol team, I realized that I don’t have to be a leader to be a good team member. The quiet collaborators who can follow the lead, take initiative when needed, and do their jobs really well are just as important as the people who are front-and-center(( An important personal insight.)) .

Being on ski patrol as a high school student has been an incredible journey, and I am grateful for the opportunity to be a part of such a dedicated team. More importantly, I’m proud of the growth I’ve experienced. I went from a person who just loves skiing to a person who is more confident in herself. I no longer feel unprepared or timid. I know exactly how to keep myself safe and work alongside others. While I don’t want to be a professional Ski Patroller or even go into medicine, I know these lessons will serve me well wherever life takes me(( As an AO, I would have been wondering if being on JSP made them want to study medicine, so I appreciate that they answered it for me!)) . But no matter where I end up, when the mountain calls, you know I’ll answer.

AO Notes on Ski Patrol

In this fun hobby-meets-accomplishment essay, the writer shows us their strengths of care and teamwork. I like the crossover between something that they really enjoy and this impressive accomplishment they have of being on Junior Ski Patrol.

• Lessons learned: The writer makes it very clear what lessons they learned from Junior Ski Patrol. Lessons don’t always have to be this explicit, but I appreciate how the writer really takes the time to reflect on what they’ve learned.
• Personal insight: Okay, this point is related to the lessons learned. But it’s important to draw out on its own because personal essays are, of course, personal. This topic easily could have been just about skiing down a mountain or administering first aid on patrol. Instead, the writer kept the focus inward to meet the expectations of a personal essay.
• What’s at stake?: We do get a good sense of personal meaning. But the writer could do a better job of speaking to the significance of this activity to their life. A good question to ask is, “What’s at stake?” What would I have lost or gained if this story had turned out differently? Asking these questions can also help you figure out what it is that you want an admissions officer to learn from your personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #14: The Regulars

One pump of vanilla syrup. Frothed milk. One espresso shot. Caramel drizzle(( Starting with some version of the following sentence would have been a stronger hook.)) . Like a scientist at her bench, I have methodically repeated these steps four days a week for the past two years. During my time as a Starbucks barista, I’ve learned hundreds of recipes and customizations. I know all the secret menu hacks, and I’ve developed several recipes for friends and family too. I pride myself on speed, quality, and memory. My favorite part of the job is the customer service. As one of the busiest locations in the region, I’ve caffeinated thousands. But it’s my regular customers, those whose orders I know like the back of my hand, who have truly impacted me.

Venti Vanilla Sweet Cream Cold Brew, hold the vanilla syrup. A busy mom of four, Chelsea is always in a hurry. I try to catch her the moment she enters the store so I can get started right away. Her Venti drink fuels her through school dropoffs and pickups, gymnastics lessons, and evening math homework. Throughout my conversations with her, I’ve learned that Chelsea is a scheduling virtuoso. As someone with ADHD(( This paragraph is almost too much about Chelsea, so this sentence is crucial to bring the focus back to the writer.)) , I became so inspired by her ability to juggle so many people and schedules simultaneously. After asking her for advice, she helped me find a time management system that I can keep up with. I have Chelsea to thank for my improved grades.

Grande dark roast, no room for cream. Mr. Williams is a retired businessman who always tips 100%. Mr. Williams is a quiet man, so it took me months to draw any information from him. Instead of using my over-the-top customer service voice, I eventually learned to be myself. When I got him to open up, I discovered that he was a service worker himself before he made it big in business in his sixties. The truth is, Mr. Williams has tipped me hundreds of dollars throughout my time here, which is extra money that will help me pay for college. He’s taught me the value of quiet generosity(( Let’s be honest. Mr. Williams sounds like a cool guy. But Mr. Williams isn’t applying to college—the writer is! I like that we get small glimpses into who the writer is through this paragraph, but there’s still room for more.)) .

Tall soy London Fog. Sweet Darla gave up coffee twenty-five years ago, but she still loves an occasional treat. When Darla enters, I clear my schedule. She always has stories to tell about the eighty years of life she’s lived. Darla is everything I want to be at that age: she’s spunky, opinionated, and hilarious(( Here we learn a lot about the writer through Darla.)) . Sometimes I tell Darla stories of my own. When I explained the dramatic series of events that led to me landing first chair in my symphony, she said she was going to retell it her bridge club. Making Darla laugh so hard will always be one of my proudest moments.

Grande iced matcha. Taylor is my age and goes to my school. When I took her order for the first time, I felt embarrassed that I needed to work to support myself while she could enjoy expensive drinks. But her kindness softened me. As time went on, I learned that she visited Starbucks so much because she wanted to get out of her house, which wasn’t a very happy place. While I have to take on as many shifts as possible, I still have a happy home to return to afterward. Now Taylor comes in near the end of my shift so we can take our drinks and have dinner at my house.

When you work in customer service, customers enter and exit your life like a revolving door. But the regulars, those special people who draw connections from daily but brief interactions, stick with you for life. I wouldn’t be who I am today if it weren’t for these people, and I would never have met them if it weren’t for my job as a barista. I haven’t just been making drinks these past two years. I’ve been making friends(( The conclusion does a good job tying all these different stories back together. )) .

AO Notes on The Regulars

No one appreciates a good barista story more than a tired admissions officer on their 30th application of the day! I like the personality that comes through in this essay especially. But this is one of those cases where it’s almost too much about other people.

• Creative take: Not every college essay needs a creative flair. In fact, sometimes going for “unique” structures can detract from an essay. But I like how the writer uses this format to structure the essay.
• Organization: This essay isn’t one a reader is bound to get lost in. The introduction sets up the essay well, it’s easy to see the connections between the points the writer is conveying, and the conclusion brings the focus back to the writer.
• More focus on self: While we do learn about the writer in this essay, we also learn a lot about Chelsea, Mr. Williams, Darla, and Taylor. The writer could have pared down the descriptions of other people—or cut one of the examples altogether—to save more room for personal reflection.

“Bad” Personal Statement Examples

These “bad” essays aren’t necessarily bad. They just aren’t very effective personal statements. Specifically, these two essays make some of the biggest college essay mistakes.

Making mistakes, especially when you’ve never written a personal statement before, is to be expected. We’ve included these examples so you can see what those mistakes look like in real-time. Learning from ineffective examples can be just as helpful as learning from the exceptional ones, so grab your pencil and start taking notes.

Our admissions officers have highlighted what’s working and what’s not. They offer helpful commentary and advice for revisions that you can use to assess your own personal statement.

Personal Statement Example #15: The Worst Year

My sophomore year of high school presented me with so many challenges(( This hook definitely gets straight to the point, but it doesn’t draw me in as a reader.)) . I struggled with a lot that year and barely managed to get by. It was the greatest challenge I ever faced.

The year started out like any other but soon went into chaos. My brother suddenly started struggling with drugs and alcohol. Before that, we didn’t know how bad he was hurting. But one night he finally came to us for help because apparently he had been using substances to cope with his emotions. He was scared because he felt like he had reached a breaking point and needed support. My parents didn’t want to help because they thought that he didn’t have a problem but I know my brother and I knew that he didn’t seem like himself. It was so sad to watch him go through that. I tried my best to help him but I was only a kid. I couldn’t really do anything besides tell him I loved him. Eventually my parents decided to get him some help, so he went away for a while and I wrote him letters every week and visited him as much as I could. The treatment he got helped thankfully. He’s doing better now and I am grateful that he is my brother.

But then Covid hit and I couldn’t even leave my house. We thought it would just be a two week vacation to school but it turned into two whole years of my life gone just like that. At the beginning I was stuck in my bedroom while my parents were working their jobs from the living room. Everyone was constantly getting annoyed with each other and driving each other wild. I would be doing a class Zoom in my room and I could hear my parents in a meeting in the living room. I had a hard time not being able to see my friends. I couldn't focus and my grades dropped. Even my teachers didn’t really seem to care. I was sick of staring at black Zoom screens all the time that I even stopped logging on. All of that combined led to me becoming very depressed and anxious. My grades dropped even more because I just couldn’t pay attention or focus enough to do my homework. I ended up getting grades way lower than I ever thought I would that year and I’m so frustrated about it because it felt like I was trying my best but it just wasn’t enough(( Here we see the writer opening up a bit and reflecting on what it was like to go through that experience.)) .

Even once we finally got back in school things didn’t get much better. The pandemic was just too much for my family so my parents ended up getting divorced at the beginning of my junior year. After all we had been through together seeing them separate made me devastated. My dad got an apartment and I had to go back and forth between their houses and pack up all my stuff every time. It was like moving my entire life every weekend. My brother was out of the house by this point so it was just me all by myself. My school was far from my dad’s new place so I’d have a long commute on the weeks I was with him. He was stressed at work and about the divorce and I just ended up feeling so lonely and spending most of my time in my room. My grades got better once online school stopped(( This moment of hope does a lot for moving the essay forward.)) but I had a hard time keeping close relationships with my friends because they didn’t like that I was living far away now and that we couldn’t really hang out anymore.

I couldn’t believe that two years would change so much. Getting through everything really challenged me. But I’m glad to be moving forward with my life.

AO Notes on The Worst Year

This student definitely had a challenging year. It’s clear that they’ve overcome a lot, and I appreciate their willingness to share their struggles. I like that the very last sentence

What this essay does well:

• Vulnerability: Writing about challenges is never easy, especially when you’re writing to people you don’t know. This writer is bold and unafraid in doing so.

What could be improved on:

• Not enough positivity: Here’s the thing. You definitely don’t need to be able to spin all of your challenging experiences into positive ones. But the topics you choose to write your college essay about should ultimately conclude on a positive note. You want your college essay to show you in a positive light, so you should choose a topic that lets you find a light, positive, or hopeful resolution.

Personal Statement Example #16: The Strikeout that Changed My Life

The stadium lights shone brightly in my eyes. I stepped up to the plate and drew back my bat. I wiggled my fingers, waiting. The pitcher wound up his arm and threw the ball towards me. My eyes worked overtime to track the ball. I watched as it flew directly towards the center of the plate and made a last-minute curve(( I like this vivid description.)) . It went straight into the catcher’s mitt. “Strike three!” the umpire yelled. That was the time I struck out at the quarter-finals. My team was so close to making it to the championship that we could taste it. It was the bottom of the sixth, and I gave up a valuable chance to score game-winning runs. We ended up losing. I learned a valuable lesson that fateful day. I never wanted to let my team down like that again(( And the writer jumps quickly into the main theme of the essay. Still, the message here could be more specific.)) .

We had advanced through our bracket without much trouble. The other teams were no match for our work ethic and teamwork. We were in perfect sync. As the first baseman, I was ready for any throw that came my way. We were also hitting well. I scored three home runs throughout the course of the tournament. We were a high-functioning machine. But for a machine to work, each cog has to function correctly. When I stepped up to the plate in the sixth inning, I was a broken cog.

After our quarter–final loss, I grieved with my teammates. Then I went off on my own to think. How had I let my team down so badly? How did I not even try to swing at that pitch? It was all my fault. I had to figure out what I had done wrong so I would never make the mistake again. I realized that I had been thinking selfishly. I was concerned about my own performance, my own at-bat averages(( This is a good reflection.)) . I was scared of failing because I didn’t want to be embarrassed. And worrying about all of those things caused me to lose focus and miss my chance to make a difference. Instead, I should have been thinking about how my at-bat would contribute to my team’s overall goal of winning the game.

I returned to where my teammates were congregating, and several of them patted me on the back. The next day, we went over how the game went as a team and talked about how we could improve at our tournament the following weekend. I admitted that I felt like I let the team down. My teammates said that they understood and reassured me that mistakes happen. It wasn’t my failed at-bat alone that lost us the game. Like winning, losing is a team effort. It was a culmination of lots of little issues. At the end of the day, the other team just out-performed us. But we could try hard, practice a lot, and return triumphant next weekend.

Letting my team down was a crushing blow to my self-esteem. I never want to feel like that again, but I know that the experience caused me to grow. Through all of this, I learned that I have to trust myself and my team(( Here we get to the lesson learned.)) . Focusing on myself alone can only get me so far. But focusing on my team can get me to where I want to go. I’m actually thankful that I struck out in that sixth inning because it caused me to learn an important life lesson.

AO Notes on The Strikeout that Changed My Life

This essay on its own definitely isn’t “bad.” As far as essays go, it’s clear, well-written, and organized nicely. But as a college essay, it could be doing more work on the writer’s behalf. See, as an admissions officer, I don’t actually learn that much about the writer from this essay alone. I see that they like baseball, are a good teammate, and can overcome failure. Those are wonderful traits, but they don’t exactly help set this student apart on the admissions committee floor. Instead, the student could make this essay more vulnerable and personal.

• Writing: The writer uses some great creative writing skills to really set the scene for the readers. In that first paragraph, I really feel like I’m there watching the game.
• Reflection: Even though the topic could be more significant, the writer does a great job reflecting on the meaning they drew from the experience.
• Significance: It’s very clear that this topic holds a lot of meaning to the writer. But as a college essay topic, it lacks vulnerability and stakes.

Key Takeaways

Writing a personal statement is a difficult ask, especially when you’ve never even read one before. But now, with these fifteen examples in your back pocket, you’re ready to write your own.

If you’re not sure what steps to take next, hop on over to our guide to writing personal statements for advice. You can also find more extensive guidance on the Essay Academy , a comprehensive college essay writing video course and community.

Happy writing! 🥳

Liked that? Try this next.

How to Write a Personal Statement for Colleges

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Personal Statements & Essays

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Personal Statements/Interest Statements/Admissions Essays

A personal statement allows you the opportunity to sell yourself to an admissions committee; much like you would sell yourself to an employer when writing a cover letter.

Most often, personal statements will fall into one of two categories:

• General Statement: Allows you the most freedom and flexibility in terms of what to include.
• Question-Specific Statement/Directive: The academic program asks specific questions which you should address in your statement.

Make your statement distinctive by selling your image briefly and accurately, including real-life examples to back up your points. Authentic enthusiasm is a plus, writing about parts of your life or career that are interesting and relevant help grab a reader’s attention. Use your personal statement to clear up any confusion or gaps in your résumé, but do not dwell on weaknesses. Avoid trying to include as much information as possible, without regard for limitations or strategic intent. Focus on being more distinctive than comprehensive.

As you begin to draft your personal statement, consider the following:

• When did you become interested in the field? What knowledge have you gained about the field that has strengthened that interest?
• Use key words to show your knowledge. Speak the language of the field.
• What are your career goals after graduate study is complete?
• What personal qualities/experiences will make your application appear unique?
• How has your involvement in college activities, part-time work, internships, or volunteer work helped prepare you for this next phase of study?
• What skills do you possess that would be most relevant to the field? (Use EXAMPLES)
• Are there any academic discrepancies on your transcript or in your application you need to address?
• Why this school and this program?
• Connect with the mission of the organization.

Tips as you write:

• Write in the active voice: Candidates who write well have an advantage in the application process because they can state their case in a concise, compelling manner.
• Be specific. Use examples to illustrate your interests, skills, etc.
• Length: Some schools are specific about how long they want your statement to be. Adhere to their guidelines. If no details are provided, aim for a 500-word essay.
• Tell an interesting story. Admissions committees read a lot of these statements…what will you write that will make them remember your story?
• Make sure your opening paragraph is an attention-grabber.
• Avoid clichés. Use this statement to show your originality.
• One size does not fit all. Tailor your statement to specific schools.
• Proofread! Review and revise your document and get others to review it as well.

Dos and don'ts of resume personal statements

A good personal statement can make your resume catch a recruiter's eye. We'll show you how to write a solid personal statement highlighting your unique skills, experiences, and professional goals. Whatever career stage you're in, we've got you covered. Read on to find information on the topic, resume personal statement examples, and helpful tips to help you stand out in the job market.

• What is a personal statement?
• Key elements to include in a personal statement
• Personal statement examples
• Tips on writing a personal statement for your resume
• Formatting and structuring your statement
• Common mistakes when writing a personal statement
• Bottom line

What is a personal statement?  

Think of a personal statement as a quick snapshot of yourself on your resume. It's a brief section that tells employers what kind of employee you are. Sometimes, it's also called resume objectives or CV personal statement.

The personal statement shows your goals and what makes you unique. It can be used to show how your skills, experiences, and job goals make you stand out from other applicants. This can significantly affect how the employer sees you as a potential employee.

It's your chance to add personality, passion, and purpose to your resume. You can make an impression that will make you shine during your job search.

Key elements to include in a personal statement  

To make a great resume summary, remember these important points that help a hiring manager understand who you are professionally:

• Who you are: Start by briefly saying who you are. Give a short but clear summary of your work background.
• Summary of your experiences : Give a brief outline of your career. Focus on crucial turning points, accomplishments, and related experiences. This part overviews your career path and shows how broad or deep your knowledge is.
• Your value as an employee: Explain what makes you special. Talk about the skills, qualities, and experiences that make you different from others applying for the job. Show how your experience matches the company's needs and how you can help them succeed.
• Your career objectives : At the end of your resume objective statement, list your career goals and ambitions. Make your short and long-term career goals clear. This shows that you're committed to professional growth and development.

Personal statement examples  

A good personal statement can be an important part of shaping your career, whether you’re a recent graduate or an experienced professional. Here are some examples of personal statements from different career stages. They show off relevant skills, experiences, and goals of job seekers.

Personal statement examples for students looking for internships

"I am a driven undergraduate student majoring in marketing, seeking internship opportunities to apply classroom knowledge in real-world settings. I have a proven ability to develop client relationships and execute marketing strategies. I am ready to share new thoughts and learn from people with more experience."

"Dedicated undergraduate student studying mechanical engineering, looking for an internship opportunity to apply theoretical knowledge to practical projects. Skilled with CAD tools and has experience making prototypes. Possesses strong critical thinking skills and takes the necessary steps to solve problems. Excellent collaborator who is always looking to learn and improve."

Personal statement example for fresh graduates

"I am a recent finance bachelor's degree holder with a solid grasp of financial principles and robust analytic abilities. I have operated effectively in dynamic settings and provided precise financial analysis. I am seeking an entry-level role in financial analysis to utilise my academic knowledge and contribute to organisational success."

"Highly motivated human resource management graduate who is deeply committed to cultivating positive work environments. Proficient in employee relations, performance management, and recruitment. Seeking an HR position to implement academic knowledge and acquire practical experience."

Personal statement examples for working professionals

"I am an experienced sales manager with more than five years of experience in B2B sales. I am currently looking to resume my professional career. I have a proven history of exceeding sales goals, building strong relationships with clients, and establishing vital client leads. I am looking for a challenging sales manager position where I can use my leadership skills to coach a team of top performers and make the company more profitable."

"I am an accomplished project manager with a background in information technology. I am skilled at coordinating the efforts of diverse teams to complete challenging assignments on schedule and within budget. I have consistently reduced risk and guaranteed project success. I am seeking new opportunities to apply my project management expertise in a dynamic environment."

Personal statement example for workers making mid-career transitions

"Experienced marketer ready to move into digital advertising. Skilled in both digital and conventional marketing tactics, with a particular focus on expanding brands' reach and interaction via online media. Seeks a position to use marketing talents to create modern digital advertising strategies."

"I am a project manager with extensive experience, with a career goal to work in sustainable development. I am passionate about positively affecting society and comfortable in a fast-paced environment. I have expertise at working with stakeholders and planning strategically."

Tips on writing a personal statement for your resume  

Before you start writing your statement, think about the following tips.

Selecting the most impactful experiences to share

Carefully choose which experiences to highlight in your CV personal statement. Consider the following aspects to guarantee that you demonstrate the most effective ones:

• Relevance to job scope: Select experiences and relevant qualifications that directly relate to the needs of your desired role.
• Significance of results: Highlight experiences in which you achieved substantial results. Focus on your efforts and accomplishments.
• Business impact: Show how your work has increased the company's profits. Give numbers to support your results and explain how your work has helped the group succeed or grow.

Demonstrating problem-solving and leadership through past scenarios

In your resume personal statement, use examples from your past to show how you've solved problems and led others .

Try to give an example of your problem and how you solved it. Highlight situations when you were proactive, made tough choices, and helped others succeed.

Demonstrating that you can deal with problems and lead confidently shows you're ready for new tasks in your next job.

Keeping your personal statement concise

Write a short, clear, objective statement to help you hold the reader's attention. Here are some suggestions to help you keep your resume personal statement short:

• Editing: Carefully read over your resume and personal statement. Remove unnecessary details or repeated information, and ensure you only include the most useful and important facts.
• Clarity: Write clearly to make sure your message is easy to understand. Avoid using jargon or academic terms that the reader might not know.
• Length: Personal statements should be short but full of helpful information. There is no rigid word limit but keep your statement to a few brief lines that get to the point of who you are as a professional and what you want to achieve.

Formatting and structuring your statement  

Here are some guidelines for making your objective statement more straightforward and organised.

Formatting tips for maximum readability

The layout of your resume personal statement affects how hiring managers read and interact with your content. To make sure your writing is easy to comprehend, consider the following:

• For a professional appearance, pick a classy font that's simple to read, such as Times New Roman, Arial, or Calibri.
• Keep the font size the same throughout the document. The best range is between 10pt and 12pt.
• When choosing the point of view, think about the tone and setting of your resume personal statement.
• First-person POV allows you to connect with the reader more directly, and third-person POV can present an air of professionalism and objectivity.

Pros and cons of each POV style

Both the first-person and the third-person POVs have pros and cons. A first-person POV makes it feel like the text is directed at the reader, but it can sometimes be too casual. On the other hand, a third-person POV seems objective and professional. This is common in formal settings but can feel impersonal or distant.

The POV you choose affects the way your personal statement reads. First-person POV creates a more personal and conversational tone. The third-person perspective conveys a feeling of formality and objectivity, setting a tone appropriate for formal papers.

Alignment with your overall resume style

Pick a POV for your personal statement that complements your resume's general tone and style. The document should flow from one section to the next. To make a good impression on recruiters, change the POV to fit the role, the company culture, and the business. If you’re applying for a creative role, you can make your resume stand out by matching the creative writing style of your prospective employer.

Resume personal statement in first-person POV

“With a strong background in content marketing, I excel in writing, editing, content planning, and SEO. In my previous roles, I was committed to ensuring my team met deadlines and KPIs. I'm eager to leverage my skills and enthusiasm as Content Manager for the Singapore Creative Ad Agency.”

Resume personal statement in third-person POV

“Has a strong background in content marketing. Excels in writing, editing, content planning, and SEO. In previous roles, demonstrated a commitment to ensuring the team met deadlines and KPIs. Eager to leverage skills and enthusiasm as Content Manager for the Singapore Creative Ad Agency.”

Common mistakes when writing a personal statement  

Avoid common clichés and overused phrases.

Don't include phrases such as "hardworking," "team player," and "results-oriented." They don't say much about you and won't help you stand out from other applicants.

What to leave out of your personal statements

Remove any old or useless information that doesn't fit with your story or add value to your application. For example, if your achievements as a high school student aren’t relevant to your application, don’t include them. Read the job description carefully before adding any information.

Bad personal statement examples

"Motivated individual seeking challenging opportunities to utilise analytical skills and grow within a dynamic organisation."

"Passionate team player with excellent communication skills and a strong work ethic."

"Detail-oriented professional with a proven track record of success in various roles."

These examples are too short and vague. They don’t say anything about you as a person or employee. Make sure your personal statements showcase your unique traits and career path. Show your positive impact in your previous roles, and highlight what benefit your prospective employer can get from hiring you.

Bottom line  

Personal statements can make or break a job application. Using the ideas, examples, and advice in this guide, you can write the best statement that catches the hiring managers interest and connects with them on a deeper level. Remember that your personal statement is more than just a summary of your work history. It's your chance to show potential employers what you can do and how passionate you are about the job.

• What should I write in my statement for a resume? Your statement should briefly summarise your professional attributes. It should cover relevant skills, experiences, and career goals that match the role you're pursuing. ⁠
• Can you provide summary statements and examples for a job application? Yes! Here's an example: "As a seasoned marketing professional with a passion for innovation, I'm excited to leverage my expertise in digital marketing to enhance and energise your dynamic team at XYZ Company. Committed to driving tangible outcomes, I aim to contribute my skills in crafting impactful campaigns and utilising analytics to fuel your organisation's success." ⁠
• How long should a personal statement be on a resume? A few sentences should be enough for a short but powerful statement. They should focus on the most relevant information that fits the job description. ⁠
• What are some dos and don'ts for writing a resume personal statement? Dos: Personalise your statement for the position and company. Highlight your job-related abilities, experiences, and accomplishments. Don'ts: Avoid using clichés or generic phrases. Don't make it too long. ⁠
• How can I make my statement stand out to employers? Make your personal statements special to each role you apply for. Think about your personal profile and the job description. Highlight your unique skills, accomplishments, and goals that match the role's needs. This will help you connect strongly with managers. ⁠
• Are there any online tools to help me craft a personal statement? Yes, tools like Perfect Essay Writer, Paper Help, and BBQ Papers can help you improve and modify your personal statements by giving you language tips and reading-level feedback.

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Creative writing personal statement example 2.

To me, fiction is like the magic carpet of Aladdin. It takes me to travel through time and space and explore the slices of human experience. In the wonderful trips, I am guided by the author and accompanied by the characters. As I immerse myself in the life of the protagonists, I also get the chance to ponder over important issues in my own life. I am always eager to know what would the characters do in the face of a certain event and what are the results of their reactions. Although I cannot speak to the characters directly, I would always think about why the characters choose to do this rather than that. Is it because of their personalities, their family or the social background? I would also think about what should I do if I meet the similar situation in life. In this way, fiction helps people to gain wisdom; thereby it has won a place among the most significant art forms in the human society. This is also the reason why I have determined to dedicate my life to providing spiritual guidance and entertainment alike as a fiction writer.

Although I have been an avid reader since childhood, it was not until I took the creative writing courses in the U.S.A that I finally decided to make fiction writing as my life-long career. In the third year of college, I went to the United States as an exchange student and the creative writing courses there struck me as amazing. Each course was finely structured with lectures and workshops in light with different themes, such as characterisation, point of view, style, voice, etc. In weekly seminars we discussed our reading assignments (usually writings by reputable authors) about things we could draw on in our own writing and the confusion we had in the reading process, while in workshops we talked about strengths and weaknesses of each other's writings and we made suggestions for revision on a friendly and cogent basis. In addition there were a whole abundance of resources such as books about fiction writing and free on-line workshops available to students.

In high school, my fantasy for college life used to be about the same with this. However, when I went to B University, one of the top universities in China, to get my bachelor's degree, I was quite disappointed. There was only one writing course throughout the four years and I did not feel motivated taking it. During the course, we were given lectures on essay writing, prose appreciation and we were even shown an excellent movie near the end of the semester, but we never got much practice on writing. The only written work we did for the course was assigned in the middle of the semester. It accounted for 30% of our total grade since we did not have a mid-term exam. We were told to write an article in two weeks with no restrictions on either the contents or the number of words. I submitted a short story and was praised and asked to read aloud in front of the whole class. Unfortunately, the other 70% of our grade depended on the final exam, where we were told to do the exact same thing with what we did for the mid-term writing assignment, the only difference was this time we had to do it within 110 minutes. I ended up by coming up with the first half of a short story and got only 68 out of 100 for the total score. I fell into frustration but later it was replaced by disorientation when I found there was neither major nor minor about writing creatively in Chinese universities, not even in the best institutions such as Peking and Tsinghua University. Although I could often feel my tendency to work for publishing and the media as a writer, I had no clues about exactly how. In China, not many writers undertook writing seriously for the sake of literature. Best-selling fiction books were often composed by amateur writers and were of limited literary value. Therefore, the creative writing courses in America had shown me an effective pathway to make more accomplishments in this field and I eventually made up my mind to become a fiction writer, one could produce high-quality stories that offer leisure as well as enlightenment to the readers.

In America, for the first time I was introduced to a string of short stories written by prominent authors, such as Raymond Carver, Flannery O'connor, Joyce Carol Oates and Tim O'brien. In my spare time I also read Earnest Hemingway and Theodore Dreiser. I found myself fascinated by the world and the characters they created in the stories and I began to realise that I was trying to bond with English, another beautiful language despite my mother tongue Chinese, which I usually took pride in. The idea of furthering my education in Britain gradually emerged in my mind. First of all , Britain is the place where English-speaking culture originated. Secondly, the U.K is part of Europe, which is the hometown of my favourite authors, including Balzac, Chekhov, William Makepeace Thackeray and Jane Austin. It would be so exciting just to think that I may have the chance to study in the culture they had grown up and established their careers. Last but not least, similar to the U.S, fiction writing in the U.K is also prosperous with distinguished writing programmes running at institutions. Among those, the MA Writing Programme at W University is the one that I want to join most. In spite of the well-organized courses instructed by an outstanding staff, there are also a series of stimulating activities and events taking place regularly on campus. I like the Writer's Room in particular. For me it is always pleasant to concentrate on writing whole-heartedly and the opportunity of doing this with someone sharing similar interests and goals in a place specially built for the promoting of it makes this a fantastic experience. Meanwhile, in my observation, writers tend to be introvert and sensitive. They may have a colourful world inside but many of them are not good at expressing it in speeches. The Writer's lunch provides a chance that the writers can meet casually and communicate with each other. Finally, the broad range of publishing houses, literary journals and organizations that keep links with Warwick University allow the students to know more about the industry and thus increase their competence in employment upon graduation.

All of the above makes W my first choice in application for MA degrees and I believe my background also makes me a good choice for the MA Writing Programme at W. To begin with, I have a strong ambition to become an eminent fiction writer and I wish to work through any hardship to achieve my goals. Moreover, I have a miscellany of work experiences as an editor, writer and volunteer. Some of the experiences are international, which enables me to provide a multi-cultural perspective to the programme. Out of class, I am a keen reader and an industrious writer. I always bring my note book with me wherever I go so that I can write immediately when inspiration drops by. Furthermore, I have a wide interest in creative things, for example, dancing, painting and photography. I have sought professional training for each so that I could deepen my understanding of them and eventually develop them into my hobbies.

My creative writing professor used to ask me, "Do you ultimately want to write in Chinese or in English?" I said "Chinese", because I wanted to create more valuable stories for my motherland, where fiction has been despised and suppressed for centuries. But now I would say I will ultimately write in both languages, for I want to portray the life of my people in this special and meaningful period of time as the country marches on the way towards the next "super power" and I want to display its people's life to the world.

Where there is a will, there is a way. Now I am ready to pay my effort and I am confident that I will be a prominent fiction writer someday, but before that I still need to develop myself in many aspects, and I hope I could develop myself at W University.

Profile info

This personal statement was written by Jing for application in 2012.

Jing's university choices The University of Durham University College London University of Exeter The University of Edinburgh University of Glasgow Lancaster University

Green : offer made Red : no offer made

Jing's Comments

I'm a Chinese student interested in fiction writing. It took me around two weeks to finish this personal statement. I will share the process with you guys here. First I browsed I lot of websites for help and this website and WWW.about.com helped me a lot. I spent 10 days on this before I started writing. Then I listed several key questions on a piece of paper and wrote the answers out. After that, I read the questions and answers to my Mom, who is a doctor with no special editorial background. She said, "A lot of it is bullshit.You have to rewrite it." Finally I embarked on writing and it took me two days to finish the first draft and another day to revise. Now my Mom is happy with this draft. And I'm glad to hear your comments.

This personal statement is unrated

Related Personal Statements

This is really good thanks.

Mon, 20/08/2012 - 16:10

This is really good! Thanks for sharing it. You'd had loads of experience!

Thu, 27/09/2012 - 19:17

This is way over the 4000 character limit. Was it sent to UCAS like this?

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Complex Sentence Thesis

Ai generator.

Crafting a compelling and intricate thesis statement can elevate the sophistication of your writing. Complex sentence thesis statements offer a profound way to convey nuanced ideas by combining multiple clauses and concepts. This guide delves into the art of constructing complex sentence thesis statements, providing insightful examples that showcase the depth and breadth of your argument. Alongside expert tips, you’ll learn to wield the complexity of language to captivate your readers and present intricate ideas effectively.

What is a Complex Sentence Thesis Statement? – Definition

A complex sentence thesis statement is a sophisticated and advanced way of presenting your main argument in an essay or research paper. It involves crafting a thesis statement using a complex sentence structure that includes multiple clauses and ideas. This type of thesis statement goes beyond the simple single-clause structure, allowing you to express intricate relationships between various aspects of your topic. Complex sentence thesis statements are particularly effective for conveying complex or multifaceted arguments.

What is an example of a Complex Sentence thesis statement?

Example: “While advancements in technology have revolutionized communication and connectivity, the ethical implications surrounding data privacy and the potential for algorithmic bias underscore the need for comprehensive regulatory frameworks and critical discourse.”

In this complex sentence thesis statement:

• The main argument is presented: “Advancements in technology have revolutionized communication and connectivity.”
• “the ethical implications surrounding data privacy and the potential for algorithmic bias”
• “underscore the need for comprehensive regulatory frameworks and critical discourse.”

This example showcases how a complex sentence thesis statement can encapsulate multiple facets of a topic in a single, intricate sentence structure.

100 Complex Sentence Thesis Statement Examples

Size: 271 KB

• Despite cultural differences, globalization has led to the convergence of consumer preferences and the dissemination of shared values in the realm of fashion.
• As climate change intensifies, the urgent need for sustainable agricultural practices becomes evident, prompting the exploration of innovative farming techniques and resource management.
• While social media fosters global connectivity and community engagement, its addictive nature and potential for misinformation necessitate heightened digital literacy and responsible usage.
• The intersection of artificial intelligence and healthcare offers promising solutions for personalized treatment and early disease detection, yet the ethical implications of data privacy and algorithmic decision-making require careful consideration.
• In a rapidly changing job market, the integration of technological education in schools becomes paramount, preparing students for the digital era and addressing the demand for specialized skills.
• The intricate interplay between socioeconomic factors, access to quality healthcare, and overall well-being underscores the imperative for comprehensive healthcare reforms that address systemic disparities.
• By analyzing historical narratives through diverse cultural lenses, a deeper understanding of the complex dynamics of past events emerges, fostering empathy and cultural reconciliation.
• The juxtaposition of economic growth and environmental preservation prompts the exploration of circular economies, which prioritize resource efficiency and waste reduction to ensure sustainable development.
• In the realm of international relations, the balance between state sovereignty and global cooperation becomes increasingly intricate, as nations navigate shared challenges while preserving their distinct identities.
• As urbanization continues to reshape cityscapes, the intricate planning and design of sustainable infrastructure are crucial for accommodating growing populations and minimizing environmental impact.
• The integration of inclusive education practices in schools not only benefits students with disabilities but also cultivates a culture of diversity and acceptance, enhancing the educational experience for all.
• The entwined relationship between mental health and physical well-being necessitates comprehensive healthcare models that address both aspects to ensure holistic patient care.
• In literature, the exploration of complex characters with conflicting motivations and desires adds depth to narratives, prompting readers to reflect on the intricacies of human nature.
• Amidst debates on immigration policies, the intricate balance between national security concerns and the humanitarian obligation to provide refuge highlights the complexities of migration issues.
• The dynamic evolution of language over time is influenced by cultural interactions, technological advancements, and social trends, showcasing the intricate nature of linguistic development.
• The intricate web of cause and effect in historical events highlights the interconnectedness of global developments, demonstrating the need for a comprehensive perspective on past occurrences.
• The convergence of biotechnology and ethics prompts ethical debates about genetic modification, as the potential benefits of disease prevention are weighed against concerns about playing with nature.
• In the context of urban development, the delicate balance between economic growth and the preservation of cultural heritage underscores the importance of sustainable urban planning.
• The intricate web of economic interdependence between nations necessitates strategic diplomacy and cooperation, as global economies navigate shared challenges and opportunities.
• The exploration of AI-driven creative processes in art and music raises questions about the relationship between human creativity and technological innovation, revealing the complex dynamics between human and machine.
• The intersection of cultural norms and gender identity in literature prompts a nuanced exploration of how societal constructs influence character development and narrative themes.
• The intricate dance between supply chain efficiency and environmental responsibility in corporate practices highlights the need for sustainable business strategies that prioritize both profitability and planet preservation.
• Amid debates on criminal justice reform, the balance between punitive measures and rehabilitation efforts becomes pivotal, as society grapples with the complexities of addressing crime.
• The juxtaposition of economic inequality and educational access underscores the role of education as a potential equalizer, necessitating equitable policies that provide quality learning opportunities for all.
• The intertwined nature of human rights and cultural relativism prompts philosophical inquiries into the universality of rights and the ethical challenges posed by diverse cultural contexts.
• The intricate negotiations between artistic expression and censorship in the digital age reflect the broader tension between free speech and responsible content dissemination on online platforms.
• The multifaceted relationship between economic development and environmental preservation requires holistic approaches that balance growth with conservation to ensure a sustainable future.
• As artificial intelligence penetrates various industries, the complexity of its impact on employment opportunities necessitates proactive measures to reskill the workforce and ensure a smooth transition.
• In the realm of international diplomacy, the intricate choreography of negotiations between conflicting nations demands skilled diplomats who can navigate complexities and promote peaceful resolutions.
• The exploration of historical figures through an intersectional lens uncovers the complexities of their identities and the diverse social forces that shaped their contributions to society.
• The intricate balance between individual autonomy and societal safety prompts ethical debates about surveillance technologies, as governments seek to protect citizens while respecting civil liberties.
• The dynamic interplay between mental health stigma and cultural attitudes underscores the importance of destigmatizing mental health issues and fostering open conversations in diverse communities.
• The convergence of cultural heritage preservation and technological advancements highlights the role of virtual reality in providing immersive experiences that bridge the gap between past and present.
• Amidst discussions on environmental conservation, the intricate relationship between indigenous knowledge and sustainable land management offers valuable insights for holistic ecosystem protection.
• The intricate negotiations between trade agreements and national interests exemplify the challenges of balancing economic benefits with the preservation of domestic industries.
• The intersection of globalization and traditional practices prompts the examination of how local cultures adapt to external influences while striving to maintain their unique identities.
• In the context of urbanization, the balance between aesthetic city planning and functional infrastructure design is essential for creating livable urban spaces that cater to both human needs and artistic aspirations.
• The intertwining of historical context and literary analysis reveals the complex layers of meaning within texts, showcasing the profound influence of societal dynamics on creative expression.
• The intricate dynamics of family relationships in literature mirror the complexities of real-life connections, enabling readers to delve into themes of love, conflict, and personal growth.
• Amid debates on immigration policies, the juxtaposition of economic contributions and cultural diversity underscores the multifaceted benefits that immigrants bring to their host countries
• The intricate interactions between socioeconomic status and educational achievement highlight the need for equitable educational opportunities that address systemic inequalities.
• The convergence of medical ethics and technological advancements prompts discussions on the ethical implications of genetic engineering and its potential to alter the course of human evolution.
• In literature, the exploration of unreliable narrators and conflicting perspectives adds layers of complexity to storytelling, challenging readers to decipher hidden truths and motives.
• The intricate web of political alliances and power struggles in history underscores the importance of diplomacy and negotiation in preventing conflicts and fostering international cooperation.
• The intersection of cultural appropriation and artistic expression prompts critical analysis of how borrowing from marginalized cultures perpetuates inequality while stifling authentic representation.
• Amid debates on artificial intelligence, the complex relationship between human agency and machine autonomy raises ethical questions about the boundaries of technological advancement.
• The delicate balance between economic growth and indigenous land rights prompts inquiries into sustainable resource management that respect both economic development and cultural heritage.
• The intricate connections between economic policies and income distribution underscore the importance of crafting inclusive economic strategies that benefit diverse socioeconomic groups.
• In the context of globalization, the interaction between cultural homogenization and cultural diversity prompts discussions on the preservation of unique cultural identities in a globalized world.
• The exploration of moral dilemmas and ethical choices in literature invites readers to grapple with complex scenarios that mirror real-life challenges and moral gray areas.
• The intricate link between urban planning and public health prompts considerations of how well-designed cities can promote physical activity, reduce pollution, and enhance overall well-being.
• Amid the digital age, the intricate balance between privacy rights and national security concerns fuels debates about the boundaries of surveillance and individual liberties.
• The convergence of historical events and personal narratives in literature showcases the interconnectedness of individual experiences with broader sociopolitical contexts.
• The intricate relationship between economic incentives and environmental conservation highlights the potential of sustainable business models to drive positive ecological change.
• In international relations, the delicate dance of negotiation and compromise shapes the outcome of diplomatic efforts, reflecting the complexities of maintaining peaceful relations between nations.
• The intersection of cultural norms and gender roles prompts analyses of how literature reflects and challenges societal expectations, influencing perceptions of identity and equality.
• Amid discussions on immigration policies, the nuanced connection between refugees and the global refugee crisis underscores the importance of compassionate responses and international cooperation.
• The dynamic interplay between artistic creativity and mental health provides a lens to examine how artistic expression can serve as both catharsis and a means of coping with psychological struggles.
• The intertwining of economic inequality and healthcare access emphasizes the need for comprehensive healthcare reforms that address the health disparities faced by marginalized communities.
• In literature, the exploration of unreliable memory and subjective narration deepens readers’ engagement by challenging conventional notions of truth and narrative reliability.
• The intricate connections between cultural heritage and tourism prompt inquiries into how responsible travel practices can preserve historical sites and foster cross-cultural understanding.
• The convergence of artificial intelligence and the legal system raises questions about the ethical implications of using algorithms for judicial decision-making and the potential for biased outcomes.
• Amid debates on climate change, the complex relationship between individual actions and global environmental impact calls for a collective approach to sustainable practices and policy changes.
• The intersection of technological advancements and educational methodologies prompts discussions on how digital tools can enhance learning outcomes while addressing the challenges of screen time.
• The intertwining of economic growth and income inequality underscores the importance of inclusive economic policies that ensure equitable distribution of resources and opportunities.
• In the realm of urban development, the balance between architectural innovation and historical preservation creates a dynamic tension that shapes the visual landscape of cities.
• The intricate link between media representation and societal attitudes prompts critical analyses of how media narratives influence public perceptions of social issues and identities.
• The convergence of cultural appropriation and intellectual property rights raises questions about the ethics of borrowing from marginalized cultures while respecting their cultural autonomy.
• Amid debates on healthcare policies, the complex relationship between individual choice and public health concerns highlights the importance of balancing personal freedoms with collective well-being.
• The intersection of technology and privacy raises questions about the ethical implications of surveillance technologies, prompting discussions on how to protect civil liberties in a digital age.
• The intertwining of historical context and scientific advancements showcases how discoveries are influenced by societal developments and cultural paradigms.
• In the context of globalization, the balance between economic integration and national identity prompts discussions on how nations can maintain their cultural distinctiveness while participating in a globalized world.
• The dynamic interplay between environmental conservation and economic growth prompts inquiries into how sustainable business practices can drive positive ecological change without compromising profitability.
• The intricate relationship between media consumption and body image prompts analyses of how media portrayals influence perceptions of beauty, self-esteem, and societal norms.
• Amid discussions on technological innovation, the nuanced connection between automation and job displacement necessitates explorations of reskilling and workforce adaptation.
• The convergence of cultural heritage and urban revitalization prompts considerations of how historical preservation can contribute to the economic and cultural vibrancy of cities.
• In literature, the exploration of moral ambiguity and ethical dilemmas invites readers to engage with complex characters and situations that challenge traditional notions of right and wrong.
• The intersection of artificial intelligence and creative expression raises questions about the authenticity of AI-generated art and the role of human creativity in an increasingly automated world.
• The intertwining of cultural identity and language preservation prompts discussions on how linguistic diversity contributes to the richness of human expression and understanding.
• Amid debates on immigration policies, the complex relationship between economic contributions and cultural integration highlights the diverse ways immigrants enrich their host societies
• The intricate connections between historical memory and national identity prompt inquiries into how collective narratives shape a society’s perception of its past and present.
• The convergence of technology and mental health care raises questions about the potential benefits and challenges of using digital interventions to address psychological well-being.
• Amid discussions on social justice, the dynamic interplay between systemic racism and criminal justice disparities underscores the importance of addressing inequalities within the legal system.
• The intersection of cultural norms and environmental conservation prompts analyses of how indigenous ecological knowledge can inform sustainable resource management practices.
• The intertwining of economic growth and cultural preservation prompts considerations of how tourism can promote cultural heritage without commodifying traditions.
• In the context of globalization, the balance between economic interdependence and national sovereignty prompts discussions on how countries can collaborate while safeguarding their interests.
• The complex relationship between economic policies and income distribution underscores the importance of inclusive economic strategies that benefit diverse socioeconomic groups.
• Amid debates on climate change, the intricate connections between deforestation and carbon emissions highlight the importance of protecting forests for global climate stability.
• The intersection of technology and education prompts inquiries into how virtual learning environments can enhance engagement and accessibility while addressing potential screen time concerns.
• The dynamic interplay between artistic expression and cultural identity prompts analyses of how artists navigate their heritage while pushing boundaries in a globalized world.
• The convergence of ethics and scientific progress raises questions about the boundaries of genetic engineering and its potential to reshape the future of human biology.
• Amid discussions on urban planning, the intricate balance between economic development and public space design prompts considerations of how cities can prioritize livability for all residents.
• The intersection of gender norms and media representation prompts analyses of how media perpetuate stereotypes while providing opportunities for empowered and diverse narratives.
• The intertwining of environmental conservation and economic sustainability prompts inquiries into how ecotourism can provide economic benefits while protecting fragile ecosystems.
• In literature, the exploration of psychological depth and character motivations adds layers of complexity to narratives, inviting readers to delve into the complexities of the human psyche.
• The convergence of technological advancements and healthcare access raises questions about how telemedicine can bridge gaps in medical care while ensuring patient privacy and quality.
• Amid debates on social equity, the dynamic interplay between urban planning and affordable housing prompts discussions on how cities can prioritize inclusivity and prevent gentrification.
• The intricate relationship between historical context and political ideologies showcases how the interpretation of historical events is influenced by contemporary beliefs and agendas.
• The intersection of cultural norms and technological adoption prompts inquiries into how societies navigate the impacts of digitalization on language, communication, and social interaction.
• The complex interplay between individual rights and public safety raises questions about the balance between privacy concerns and surveillance measures in an era of advanced technology.

These examples of complex sentence thesis statements showcase the diversity and depth of arguments that can be crafted using intricate sentence structures. They allow for the exploration of multifaceted ideas and encourage thoughtful analysis and discussion.

Complex Sentence Thesis Statement Examples for Essay

Navigate the realm of intricate ideas with our curated collection of complex sentence thesis statement examples for essays. Discover how to craft sophisticated arguments that captivate readers while effectively conveying multifaceted perspectives on a wide range of topics.

• Despite cultural barriers, the universal appeal of music transcends borders, connecting people from diverse backgrounds and fostering cross-cultural understanding through its emotive language.
• The intricate interplay between nature and nurture shapes individual personality development, as genetics and environment interact to mold the complexities of human behavior.
• The convergence of digital technology and traditional art forms prompts discussions on the transformative potential of mixed media, revealing the intricate relationship between innovation and tradition.
• Amid debates on social media’s influence, the complex interconnection between online identity and real-life self-perception raises questions about the impacts of curated digital personas on mental well-being.
• The dynamic dance between socioeconomic disparities and educational opportunities underscores the urgency of equitable educational policies that address systemic barriers and empower marginalized communities.
• The convergence of medical ethics and genetic advancements prompts inquiries into the potential benefits and ethical dilemmas posed by gene editing technology in the realm of human health.
• The intricate relationships between historical narratives and collective memory influence societal perspectives on past events, shaping cultural identity and informing current societal beliefs.
• Amid discussions on AI-driven decision-making, the complex balance between automation and human intuition raises ethical questions about the appropriate roles of algorithms and human judgment.
• The intersection of architectural innovation and sustainability prompts analyses of how green design principles can harmonize with urban aesthetics to create ecologically conscious cityscapes.
• The convergence of economic globalization and environmental degradation prompts inquiries into how international policies can harmonize economic growth with responsible resource management to ensure a sustainable future.

Complex Sentence Thesis Statement Examples for Research Paper

Elevate your research papers with our diverse array of complex sentence thesis statement for research papers examples. Uncover the art of presenting intricate concepts, and learn how to structure your arguments using advanced sentence structures to enhance the depth and complexity of your academic work.

• The intricate interplay between social media usage and self-esteem in adolescents prompts an exploration of how online platforms contribute to body image concerns and shape self-perception.
• Amid debates on renewable energy adoption, the complex relationship between government policies and private sector investments raises questions about how regulatory frameworks influence sustainable energy transitions.
• The dynamic convergence of artificial intelligence and cybersecurity necessitates comprehensive research into the intricate vulnerabilities and safeguards required to protect against AI-driven cyber threats.
• The intersection of historical trauma and mental health outcomes prompts in-depth research into the enduring effects of historical events on the psychological well-being of affected populations.
• Amid discussions on urban planning, the complex balance between walkability and transportation infrastructure prompts research into how cities can create pedestrian-friendly environments while addressing transportation needs.
• The intertwined nature of corporate social responsibility and profit motives prompts research into how businesses can integrate ethical practices into their operations while maintaining financial viability.
• The convergence of cultural heritage preservation and technological innovation calls for research into how virtual reality technologies can recreate historical sites, offering immersive experiences to a global audience.
• In the realm of climate change adaptation, the intricate relationship between community engagement and resilience-building prompts research into how local participation contributes to effective climate strategies.
• The dynamic interplay between cultural identity and language preservation requires research into how indigenous languages can be revitalized and maintained in a rapidly changing world.
• Amid discussions on healthcare disparities, the complex relationship between race, ethnicity, and healthcare outcomes prompts research into how systemic biases influence medical access and treatment quality.

What is the Complex Sentence Thesis Formula?

The Complex Sentence Thesis Formula is a structured approach to crafting thesis statements that incorporate intricate ideas within a single sentence. It involves constructing a thesis statement using a complex sentence structure, which includes one main clause (the claim) and one or more subordinate clauses (the reasons or supporting points). This formula allows you to present a layered argument that showcases the depth of your analysis.

What is the structure of a complex thesis statement?

A complex thesis statement typically follows a structure that comprises a main clause and one or more subordinate clauses. The main clause presents the main argument or claim, while the subordinate clauses provide additional context, reasons, evidence, or supporting points that elaborate on the claim. The structure can be represented as follows:

Main Clause (Claim) + Subordinate Clause(s) (Reasons or Supporting Points)

How long is a complex thesis statement?

The length of a complex thesis statement can vary, but it is generally a single sentence that effectively conveys the main argument and supporting points. The complexity of the argument often necessitates a longer sentence to accommodate multiple clauses. However, it’s essential to strike a balance between complexity and clarity, ensuring that the statement remains concise and understandable.  You should also take a look at our  Tentative thesis statement .

How to Write a Complex Sentence Thesis Statement? – Step by Step Guide

Crafting a complex sentence thesis statement requires careful consideration and thoughtful structuring. Here’s a step-by-step guide to help you create a sophisticated and effective complex thesis statement:

• Choose a Specific Topic: Select a focused and manageable topic that allows for in-depth analysis and exploration.
• Identify Main Argument: Determine the primary claim or main argument you want to make in your thesis statement.
• Outline Supporting Points: Identify two or more reasons, evidence, or supporting points that bolster your main argument.
• Structure the Sentence: Begin with the main clause, which contains your claim. Add one or more subordinate clauses that provide context or support for the main argument.
• Maintain Clarity: While the sentence may be complex, ensure that it remains clear and understandable. Avoid convoluted sentence structures that may confuse the reader.
• Revise and Refine: Review your complex sentence thesis statement for coherence and logical flow. Make sure each clause contributes to the overall argument.
• Check for Balance: Ensure that the main clause and subordinate clauses are balanced in terms of importance and depth of analysis.

Tips for Writing a Complex Sentence Thesis Statement

• Start with the Main Claim: Begin your complex sentence with the main argument or claim you intend to make.
• Use Subordinate Clauses Strategically: Subordinate clauses should provide relevant context, reasons, evidence, or examples that enhance the complexity of your argument.
• Be Concise: While complex, the thesis statement should be concise and focused on conveying your main argument and supporting points.
• Avoid Ambiguity: Ensure that each clause in the sentence contributes to the overall clarity of the argument. Avoid vague or ambiguous language.
• Maintain Parallel Structure: If you include multiple subordinate clauses, strive for parallel structure to enhance readability and coherence.
• Consider Sentence Length: While longer sentences are acceptable, avoid excessive length that may hinder readability.
• Revise and Proofread: After writing your complex sentence thesis statement, revise and proofread to eliminate errors and refine the wording.
• Seek Feedback: Share your complex thesis statement with peers or instructors to gain insights into its effectiveness and clarity.
• Practice Writing Complex Sentences: Developing the skill of constructing complex sentences takes practice. Experiment with different sentence structures to find what works best for your argument.
• Capture Complexity: Use your complex thesis statement to capture the multifaceted nature of your topic, showcasing your ability to analyze intricate ideas.

Creating a complex sentence thesis statement requires precision, careful thought, and a strong grasp of the topic. By following this guide and incorporating these tips, you can craft a thesis statement that effectively conveys layered arguments and demonstrates your mastery of complex writing structures.

Text prompt

• Instructive
• Professional

10 Examples of Public speaking

20 Examples of Gas lighting

ORIGINAL RESEARCH article

Why and when does multitasking impair flow and subjective performance a daily diary study on the role of task appraisals and work engagement.

• 1 Department of Business Studies, Institute of Tax Law and Economics, Leiden University, Leiden, Netherlands
• 2 Department of Management and Organization, School of Business and Economics, VU Amsterdam, Amsterdam, Netherlands
• 3 Department of Social, Health and Organizational Psychology, Utrecht University, Utrecht, Netherlands

In this diary study, we contribute to research on day-level multitasking in organizations by investigating why and when multitasking impairs employees’ work-related flow and subjective job performance on a daily basis. Drawing on Lazarus and Folkman’s transactional model of stress and coping, we propose that employees’ appraisal of their daily tasks (i.e., less challenging and more hindering) may explain why multitasking has negative implications for flow and job performance. Moreover, we expect that daily work engagement can buffer the detrimental effects of multitasking on flow and job performance. A total of 33 professional workers in the food industry participated in our study and were asked to respond to 10 daily surveys at work across 4 weeks. In line with our expectations, results showed that on days when employees’ working time was highly fragmented across a high number of tasks, they experienced less flow and, in turn, their job performance was lower on that particular day. Moreover, appraisal of daily tasks as less challenging – though not more hindering – explained why multitasking impairs flow. Finally, daily work engagement buffered the detrimental impact of multitasking on flow. The results presented in this paper offer novel and ecologically valid insights into why and when multitasking may backfire for employees.

1 Introduction

People believe that doing several things at the same time will help them get more done, and by switching among tasks, they feel productive as more tasks are performed in a single day ( Adler and Benbunan-Fich, 2013 ; Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ). Yet this might simply be an illusion, also referred to as the myth of multitasking ( Rosen, 2008 ) or multitasking paradox ( Appelbaum et al., 2008 ). Concerns about productivity loss due to multitasking are rampant, especially with the alarming new heights that it has reached. In a field study by Mark et al. (2005) , almost a quarter of interrupted work was not resumed on the same day. If work was resumed, it took more than 25 min and employees had worked in more than two other working spheres before resuming interrupted work. Wajcman and Rose’s (2011) study documented an average of 88 work episodes per day, with not even half of the workday being spent on activities that last for more than 10 min. The COVID-19 pandemic posed additional challenges, as employees working from home reported an increase in multitasking behaviors ( Leroy et al., 2021 ). As Leroy et al. (2021) put it: “work time has never been so fragmented” (p. 1457).

Scholars are yet to fully understand the implications of multitasking for employees and organizations. If detailed comprehension is lacking, society runs the risk that multitasking remains common organizational practice without proper management of its complexities. To increase organizations’ willingness and ability to address these concerns, it is imperative to study how multitasking behavior relates to employee effectiveness. After having been dominated by studies conducted in laboratory settings (see Baethge et al., 2015 ), the field has witnessed a rise in diary studies, both quantitative (e.g., Aitken et al., 2023 ) and qualitative (e.g., Feldman and Greenway, 2021 ). Importantly, a few diary studies suggest that daily flow – a short-term peak experience that individuals experience when fully immersed in an activity ( Csikszentmihalyi, 1997 ) – may be a key mechanism in the day-level multitasking–job performance relationship ( Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ; Aitken et al., 2023 ). Yet it remains elusive what are the psychological processes underlying employees’ responses to multitasking.

Against this background, we develop and test a conceptual model that specifies a pathway (i.e., why ) and condition under which (i.e., when ) day-level multitasking behavior impairs work-related flow and ultimately hampers the subjective performance of employees. In building our conceptual model, we draw on the transactional model of stress and coping ( Lazarus and Folkman, 1984 ). This theoretical model posits that reactions to work stressors, such as fragmentation of work time due to multitasking, depend on (1) how we appraise those stressors (i.e., as opportunity or threat) and (2) the resources we possess to cope with those stressors. Recent research on interruptions has indeed shown that the (positive or negative) appraisals of employees shape reactions ( Hunter et al., 2019 ; Darouei et al., 2024 ). We go one step further and argue that a work stressor can also shape the appraisal of other, more neutral job characteristics. Specifically, we propose that multitasking influences employees’ appraisal of their daily tasks (i.e., as less challenging and more hindering) and this explains why multitasking behaviors would impair flow. Moreover, we explore whether day-specific work engagement – a positive and high arousal affective-motivational state characterized by energy and involvement ( Bakker et al., 2011 ) – as a resource can help employees cope with multitasking.

Our study contributes to the literature on multitasking, stress, and flow in at least three notable ways. First, we put forward flow as a key mediator that can explain the relationship between multitasking and job performance. The multitasking reality of modern organizations suggests that interruptions to workflow are an accepted part of organizational life ( Jett and George, 2003 ). Yet, surprisingly, the concept of flow has received hardly any attention in research on multitasking and work interruptions (see the review by Puranik et al., 2020 ). Our study is among the first to examine the day-to-day relationship between multitasking and flow [for related work, see Peifer and Zipp’s (2019) study on multitasking behaviors, and Aitken et al.’s (2023) on intrusions while teleworking]. Second, we propose that appraisal is key to understanding the psychological processes that may explain how multitasking influences employees’ well-being and job performance. We link daily fluctuations in multitasking behaviors to meaningful variations in task appraisals in order to illuminate the stressor–well-being relationship (see also Smith et al., 2022 ). Our third contribution relates to the examination of work engagement as a day-level variable that explains why individuals may experience multitasking differently across days. No prior studies have yet investigated whether and how work engagement can assist employees in handling daily job demands, even though it is a source of energy and concerns the investment of personal resources ( Christian et al., 2011 ). While work engagement is typically studied as an outcome in and of itself ( Puranik et al., 2020 ) or as a mediator in the association between job characteristics and performance ( Bakker et al., 2023 ), we examine work engagement as a day-specific resource that can buffer the detrimental effects of multitasking behaviors on flow and job performance.

2 Theoretical framework

We draw on the two-dimensional typology of multitasking behaviors to conceptualize multitasking along the lines of share of resources allocated to the execution of work activities and share of time in which work activities are observed ( Circella et al., 2012 ). With regard to the time dimension, our focus is on multitasking within the time frame of a single working day; that is, all tasks performed during the day will be considered to have happened sequentially or simultaneously (see Kirchberg et al., 2015 ). Monotasking refers to the situation in which a single activity occupies a person’s full resources for a particular period of time. Within the time frame of a full working day, monotasking is very uncommon nowadays, since many – if not most – employees are forced to shift attention between a high number of tasks on a daily basis. When employees execute multiple tasks, their behavior can be classified as switching, interleaving, or overlaying, depending on a person’s allocation of (e.g., mental) resources among the tasks of a particular workday ( Circella et al., 2012 ). Switching is alternating between activities in such a way that one fully interrupts one task with another. Interleaving involves partial alternation to a second task, while another activity remains in the background. Hence, in the case of interleaving, the main activity claims most but not all resources, for instance due to attention residue ( Leroy, 2009 ). Overlaying refers to the simultaneous execution of tasks: both activities are carried out at the same time with a parallel allocation of resources. Whether it happens sequentially or simultaneously, multitasking can lead to fragmentation of the work day ( Appelbaum et al., 2008 ), and the question central to our study is “at what cost?”

In this diary study, we integrate key theoretical models of stress with the literature on multitasking and flow in order to elucidate the process by which day-level multitasking impedes job performance. Carrying out a task can be seen as goal-directed behavior, and doing more than one thing at a time (be it sequentially or simultaneously) is associated with regulation hindrances that act as stressors ( Frese and Zapf, 1994 ). In the transactional model of stress and coping (TSC), Lazarus and Folkman (1984) viewed stress as an individual outcome generated through the person’s appraisal of stressors in the environment. When we encounter a stressor, we first assess how stressful it is through primary appraisal. We simultaneously engage in secondary appraisal, evaluating whether we have the necessary resources to cope with the stressful situation. Building on the TSC, the challenge-hindrance stressor framework (CHSF; LePine et al., 2005 ) postulates that stressors are conceptually distinct from each other, such that some stressors tend to be appraised as challenges (i.e., potential for achievement and personal growth), while other stressors tend to be appraised as hindrances (i.e., may thwart personal development). Interestingly, Peifer and Zipp (2019) relied on a model that integrates flow into the transactional model of stress, which they refer to as the transactional model of stress and flow (TMSF). This adapted model explains the connection between stressors and flow. When individuals perceive stressors as challenges (primary appraisal) and possess adequate coping resources (secondary appraisal), they are more likely to experience flow as an alternative state to stress.

The concept of flow finds it origins in the work of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. He studied the subjective experiences of creative painters, chess players, rock climbers, and many others, and he was intrigued when these people became fully absorbed in their activity and found that activity intrinsically motivating. People “in flow” are in a state of consciousness where they become totally immersed in an activity and operate at full capacity ( Nakamura and Csikszentmihalyi, 2002 ). People can find flow in almost any activity, but research shows it is mainly experienced in the work environment ( Csikszentmihalyi and LeFevre, 1989 ), where flow refers to peak experiences of fluent, uninterrupted work ( Gerpott et al., 2022 ).

We draw on Lazarus and Folkman’s (1984) TSC and its extensions (CHSF and TMSF) to propose that day-level multitasking is a hindrance stressor that negatively impacts the primary appraisal of one’s daily tasks, ultimately influencing flow experiences and daily performance. We also propose that multitasking interferes with the experience of flow less strongly when employees feel engaged at work. Work engagement is a motivational construct that refers to the investment of personal resources toward the tasks associated with one’s work role ( Christian et al., 2011 ). In contrast to flow, which is more closely related to a specific activity as it is an optimal experience of fluent work (i.e., experiential well-being; Ilies et al., 2017 ), work engagement represents a psychological connection with one’s work in general ( Christian et al., 2011 ; Gerpott et al., 2022 ) (see also Yan and Donaldson, 2023 , on the differences between flow and engagement). While engagement is a relatively enduring state of mind, it also ebbs and flows, showing day-to-day fluctuations around an employee’s average level ( Sonnentag et al., 2010 ). Applying the TMSF, we argue that state work engagement will allow for a more positive secondary appraisal in stressful situations of high multitasking such that on days when employees are engaged, they come to experience flow as an alternative experience to stress. The overall conceptual model guiding this research is depicted in Figure 1 .

Figure 1 . Conceptual model.

2.1 Hypotheses

Multitasking may be an impediment to flow. Task-related preconditions for the experience of flow are a balance between challenges and skills, clear and specific goals, and immediate feedback on one’s performance (see Fullagar and Kelloway, 2013 ). Under these conditions, experience naturally unfolds from moment to moment and one enters a flow state ( Nakamura and Csikszentmihalyi, 2002 ). However, the cognitive costs of executing multiple tasks in parallel and alternating between tasks may add considerably to the demands and challenges of a particular workday. Challenge stressors may turn into hindrance stressors when interruptions accumulate ( Baethge et al., 2015 ). Moreover, alternations imply that employees are shifting goals, and any feedback from the work itself is suspended until the moment of resumption and completion of the main task ( Monk et al., 2008 ). Thus, multitasking interferes with the preconditions of flow.

In addition, the very nature of multitasking is contradictory to how the flow experience is characterized. Flow is a subjective state with the following characteristics: (a) intense and focused concentration, (b) loss of self-consciousness, (c) a sense of control, (d) distortion of time, and (e) intrinsic rewards ( Nakamura and Csikszentmihalyi, 2002 ; Fullagar and Kelloway, 2013 ). When work is fragmented due to multitasking, it becomes difficult to get fully absorbed in one’s work. After all, deep involvement in the task at hand is interrupted and disrupted. Multitasking may also limit one’s sense of control over the processes and outcomes of the task because many alternations are uncontrollable and require the expenditure of self-regulatory resources ( Freeman and Muraven, 2010 ). Ready-to-resume interventions may work ( Leroy and Glomb, 2018 ), however, as Fullagar and Kelloway (2013) noted, “as soon as attention shifts to try to maintain control, flow dissipates” (p. 44). Furthermore, when people multitask, it is very unlikely that the notion of time disappears and that employees will feel time is flying by. Instead, multitaskers are very much aware of the notion of time, as indicated by their higher sense of time pressure ( Baethge and Rigotti, 2013 ; Leroy and Glomb, 2018 ).

To experience the peak state of flow at work, an initial investment of self-regulatory resources is required ( Csikszentmihalyi, 2000 ). Interestingly, research shows that people sometimes voluntarily switch between tasks when they are unable to achieve the state of flow in an ongoing task (e.g., when they are stuck; Adler and Benbunan-Fich, 2013 ). Although we acknowledge that a switch can enhance flow, based on the aforementioned, we posit that cumulative switches during the day will make it difficult to enter or stay in a flow state. Thus, we hypothesize that on days when employees experience higher levels of multitasking, they will report reduced flow compared with days when they multitask to a lesser extent (see also Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ).

Hypothesis 1 : Within individuals (across days), multitasking is negatively related to flow experienced at work.

We also propose a mediating mechanism for the within-individual relationship between multitasking behaviors and flow, namely appraisal of the daily tasks as challenging or hindering. No single day is the same; that is, employees work on a different set of tasks every day. Importantly, how employees appraise these tasks may vary across days. Although tasks are stressors, “many everyday stressors are not clearly positive nor negative and so are most likely to be open to personal appraisal” ( Hobfoll, 1989 , p. 519). In line with this notion, scholars have distinguished between challenge and hindrance stressors ( LePine et al., 2005 ).

We believe that primary appraisal of the daily tasks may explain why multitasking behavior has negative implications for flow. Doing more than one thing at a time is not harmful per se , but employees may find it difficult to interpret their tasks, on average, as opportunities to grow either personally or professionally when they have to perform multiple tasks in parallel (i.e., overlaying) or alternate between tasks (i.e., switching and interleaving). Any single task that would under normal circumstances be considered a challenge stressor may become a hindrance stressor when an employee has limited opportunity to work on it with undivided attention. Thus, we expect that the higher the level of multitasking on a particular day, the less likely it is that an individual will appraise the sum of daily tasks as a positive challenge and the more likely it is that the daily tasks are jointly appraised as a hindrance.

These appraisals, in turn, should be related to flow. The TMSF posits that flow is experienced during a task that is appraised as challenging ( Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ). Previous between-individual research has found that challenge demands are positively related to flow, while hindrance demands are negatively related to flow ( Van Oortmerssen et al., 2020 ). If employees see the potential for personal growth and gain in executing their tasks, they may come to experience “eustress” ( Selye, 1983 ), an experience of being totally focused in a mindful state of challenge and a healthy state of aroused attention on the task ( Hargrove et al., 2013 ). A difficult-yet-manageable set of tasks will help employees savor their work, find the work experience of that day rewarding, and stay immersed in the tasks at hand. In contrast, looking upon one’s work as stressful may seriously undermine a flow state. Thus, we hypothesize that task appraisal mediates the relationship between multitasking and flow in such a way that multitasking is negatively associated with challenge appraisal, which in turn is positively associated with flow (H2a), while multitasking is positively associated with hindrance appraisal, which in turn is negatively associated with flow (H2b).

Hypothesis 2a : Challenge appraisals of the daily tasks will mediate the within-individual effect of multitasking on flow.

Hypothesis 2b : Hindrance appraisals of the daily tasks will mediate the within-individual effect of multitasking on flow.

Much research has been devoted to understanding when and for whom multitasking inhibits well-being and performance ( Puranik et al., 2020 ). Day-specific moderators, however, seem a neglected focus. We argue that people’s ability to deal with multitasking can be higher on some days than on other days, dependent on one’s daily level of work engagement. On days when employees are engaged, they feel energetic and are in a positive, fulfilling work-related state of mind ( Schaufeli et al., 2002 ). When they are in this state, they are better able to channel physical, emotional, and cognitive energies into their work tasks such that they are not easily fatigued and can show persistence in the face of difficulties ( Christian et al., 2011 ). A workday full of multitasking is cognitively and emotionally demanding and likely to deplete self-regulatory resources, with little opportunity for recovery and replenishment ( Leroy, 2009 ; Freeman and Muraven, 2010 ; Baethge and Rigotti, 2013 ; Baethge et al., 2015 ). The state of work engagement offers substitute personal resources that should make it easier to deal with the stressful nature of multitasking. Applying insights from the TMSF ( Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ) to our model, we posit that work engagement offers the coping resources necessary to experience flow as an alternative experience to stress. Thus, we expect that on days when employees feel energetic and dedicated at work, they are rather well-equipped to retain a high level of concentration and absorption in the face of multitasking.

Hypothesis 3 : Work engagement moderates the within-individual effect of multitasking on flow such that on days when employees are highly engaged, the negative effect of multitasking on flow is weaker compared with days when employees are less engaged.

When employees become totally immersed in their work and enjoy it intensely, they are more likely to excel at what they do. During flow, performance is automatic, and one has a sense of confidence and ease ( Harris et al., 2017 ). Flow is a peak experience that often coincides with optimal performance ( Csikszentmihalyi, 1997 ). Bakker and Van Woerkom (2017) argued that flow is a desirable state not only for task performance but also for creativity, productivity, and service quality. In a cross-sectional field study, Demerouti (2006) showed that work-related flow was beneficial for both in-role and extra-role performance, as rated by colleagues, but only for conscientious employees, who apparently are better at directing their attention toward achieving crucial tasks that are in line with the goals of the organization. The flow–performance relationship has been established also at the within-individual level, with a number of daily diary studies linking the flow state to both in-role and extra-role performance ( Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ; Soriano et al., 2021 ; Weintraub et al., 2021 ; Gerpott et al., 2022 ; Aitken et al., 2023 ). These findings have been further corroborated in a recent meta-analysis by Liu et al. (2023) , who demonstrated that flow is positively related to job performance.

Based on the logic above, we hypothesize that on days when employees experience high levels of flow, they will feel they are performing better compared with days when they are not in a state of flow. As indicated in previously formulated hypotheses, we expect that multitasking will negatively influence flow through the mediating mechanism of task appraisal. Therefore, we also hypothesize a serial mediation such that multitasking has an indirect effect on job performance via challenge and hindrance appraisals of the daily set of tasks and subsequently flow.

Hypothesis 4 : Within individuals (across days), flow is positively related to job performance.

Hypothesis 5 : Challenge and hindrance appraisals of the daily tasks and flow will serially mediate the within-individual relationship between multitasking and job performance.

3 Materials and methods

3.1 sample and procedure.

To empirically test the proposed model, we designed a diary study of work activities aimed to capture fragmentation of work time due to multitasking as it appears in everyday organizational life. The data for this study were collected at a multinational company that is world leading in the food industry. We collected data among employees of a business unit situated in the Netherlands. To get a representative view of employees’ multitasking, flow experience, work engagement, appraisal of daily tasks, and performance, daily measurements were repeated for a total of 10 days spread evenly across 4 weeks of data collection. Daily surveys were sent out to 65 employees who agreed to participate in this study. A response rate of 75.4% resulted in 49 employees completing the daily surveys, capturing a total of 189 daily records. Participants were instructed to complete the survey toward the end of their workday. Records that were not completed at the designated time were removed for further analyses. Moreover, as we aimed to study daily fluctuations in multitasking and other constructs, we also had to remove respondents with only a single daily record. Our final sample consisted of 158 daily records from 33 employees.

Only 27 of the 33 employees completed a one-time questionnaire at the end of the study, which contained questions on demographic variables. We have missing data for three of these participants, thus resulting in descriptive information for 24 respondents, which consisted of 11 women (45.8%) and 13 men (54.2%), with a mean age of 35.58 years ( SD  = 7.73). Analysis of this descriptive information revealed that, on average, participants had worked 4.96 years within this organization ( SD  = 2.16). Our respondents can be characterized as highly educated, as all had finished higher education, with 91.7% having a master’s degree. The majority of respondents (91.7%) had a fixed contract. The sample included respondents from a variety of different countries, with the majority being French (58.3%) and 16.7% being Dutch. Other nationalities were Afghan, British, Finnish, Greek, Mexican, Polish, and Russian.

3.2 Measures

3.2.1 multitasking.

Respondents were asked to provide a list of all their work activities that day and to indicate for each of the activities how much time they spent working on it. In line with the two-dimensional conceptualization of multitasking ( Circella et al., 2012 ), this strategy enabled us to operationalize day-level multitasking as the share of resources (here: time) allocated to work activities within the time frame of a single working day. Focusing on the workday as the unit of time is too coarse to assess the types of multitasking behavior (i.e., switching, interleaving, or overlaying), but our goal here is to get an indication of how fragmented the workday has become due to the execution of multiple and different activities, irrespective of whether tasks are executed in parallel or whether a task is fully or only partly left behind when alternating. We therefore used a diversity measure that captures fragmentation of time across multiple tasks, which was computed using Simpson’s (1949) diversity formula:

Here, i represents a particular task, R is the total number of tasks, n i is the proportion of time spent on the i th task, and N is the total amount of time spent across all tasks. In this sample, 15 was the highest number of tasks on a day, and an average working day consisted of 6.4 tasks. The value of D ranges between 0 (all working time is devoted to a single task – that is, monotasking) and 1 (multitasking in a highly fragmented manner). Simpson’s index captures the level of multitasking for an individual respondent on a given day.

To measure employees’ daily flow experiences, we used the Flow State Scale (FSS) developed by Jackson and Marsh (1996) . This scale consists of a total of 36 items on nine dimensions of the flow state. When conducting diary studies, Ohly et al. (2010) recommend using short scales or even single-item measures. We therefore focused on the subscales ‘concentration’ and ‘autotelic experience’ and selected three items based on factor loadings and face validity. Example items are “I had total concentration today” and “I really enjoyed today’s work experience.” We asked respondents to indicate their agreement on a five-point Likert scale ranging from 1 =  strongly disagree to 5 =  strongly agree . Across days, the average internal consistency was 0.79.

3.2.3 Job performance

We evaluated employees’ daily performance at work using a single-item self-report measure. Respondents were asked to indicate their agreement with the following statement: “Today, I was able to carry out the core parts of my job.” Answers were recorded on a five-point Likert scale ranging from 1 =  strongly disagree to 5 =  strongly agree .

3.2.4 Work engagement

To assess employees’ daily engagement, we relied on Breevaart et al.’s (2012) validated scale for measuring state work engagement and selected only those items that are part of the ultra-short version of the Utrecht Work Engagement Scale (UWES-3; Schaufeli et al., 2019 ). The UWES consists of vigor, dedication, and absorption as dimensions of engagement. We used one item for each dimension, namely “Today, I felt bursting with energy” (vigor), “Today, I was enthusiastic about my job” (dedication), and “Today, I was immersed in my work” (absorption). We asked respondents to indicate their agreement with these statements on a five-point Likert scale ranging from 1 =  strongly disagree to 5 =  strongly agree . Given the conceptual overlap between absorption and flow ( Schaufeli et al., 2002 ), particularly on a daily level, we decided to drop the third item for the specific purposes of our study. The two-item measure of daily engagement had an average Cronbach’s alpha of 0.54 across days.

3.2.5 Appraisal of daily tasks

As mentioned earlier, we asked respondents to provide a list of all their work activities on a particular day. Respondents were also asked how they appraised each of their work activities. We built on prior work on stress appraisal by Searle and Auton (2015) , who proposed that appraisal scales can be framed in different ways, amongst others in relation to a task the respondent is currently performing. We then used the response scale of the Valencia Eustress-Distress Appraisal Scale (VEDAS) developed by Rodríguez et al. (2013) to measure task appraisals. Specifically, each task had two corresponding six-point Likert scales that enabled respondents to indicate their positive and negative appraisals of their daily tasks. The response scale for challenge appraisal referred to a task as 1 =  very definitely is NOT a source of opportunity/challenge or 6 =  very definitely IS a source of opportunity/challenge , while the response scale for hindrance appraisal referred to a task as 1 =  very definitely is NOT a source of pressure or 6 =  very definitely IS a source of pressure . To obtain scores on the degree of challenge and hindrance employees perceived in the total of tasks performed during the workday, we aggregated the task-level challenge and hindrance appraisals of a particular day.

3.3 Analyses

The use of repeated measurements resulted in a nested data structure, where days (Level 1; n  = 158) are nested within individuals (Level 2; n  = 33). For each variable, we estimated a two-level null model (i.e., no predictors) that partitions the total variance into between-individual and within-individual variance components. Table 1 shows that the percentages of variance due to within-individual variation in construct scores varied between 53.0% (hindrance appraisal) and 94.6% (multitasking). Thus, our constructs show high day-to-day fluctuations, and within-individual analyses are thus appropriate. We therefore use hierarchical linear modeling (HLM; Bryk and Raudenbush, 1992 ).

Table 1 . Variance components of null models for level-1 variables.

To avoid an overly piecemeal analysis of our model, we used the multilevel modeling approach outlined by Bauer et al. (2006) to test our mediation hypotheses. This methodology estimates simultaneously the distinct paths in a mediation model. In all HLM analyses, we specified random intercepts – random slopes for the models at level 2 to account for differences in slopes across individuals. We centered each level-1 predictor variable relative to the individuals’ means across days on that variable. As such, the scores represent deviations from the respondent’s respective mean, and “the subject serves as his or her own control” ( DeLongis et al., 1988 , p. 487).

Table 2 presents the descriptive statistics for all study variables as well as the between- and within-individual correlations.

Table 2 . Correlation matrix.

To test Hypothesis 1, we regressed flow on multitasking. We found that on days characterized by high levels of multitasking, employees experienced less flow compared with days on which they had to multitask to a lesser extent ( B  = −1.09, p  < 0.001, β  = −0.23). We then used the multilevel procedures of Bauer et al. (2006) to holistically test a 1–1–1 mediation model in which multitasking influences flow via appraisal of daily tasks. We observed that multitasking was negatively associated with appraisal of the sum of daily tasks as challenging ( B  = −1.40, p  < 0.001, β  = −0.34), and challenge appraisals were positively associated with flow ( B  = 0.28, p  = 0.017, β  = 0.24). Thus, both paths of the mediation were significantly different from zero (see also Model 1 in Table 3 ). Yet, to test our mediation hypothesis directly, we used a package called ‘RMediation’ ( Tofighi and MacKinnon, 2011 ), which provides an estimate of the indirect effect and a confidence interval around this effect on the basis of the distribution-of-the-product method. RMediation estimated the indirect effect at −0.396 with a 95% CI [−0.821, −0.075], which supports Hypothesis 2a; on days when employees multitasked, they were less likely to appraise their daily tasks as challenging, which interfered with their flow experience. To test Hypothesis 2b, we specified an alternative model with hindrance appraisal as the mediator (Model 2 in Table 3 ). Within individuals, multitasking was unrelated to appraisal of the sum of daily tasks as hindering ( B  = −0.66, p  = 0.182, β  = −0.17), and hindrance appraisals were not linked to flow ( B  = 0.11, p  = 0.353, β  = 0.09). We can conclude that the association between multitasking and flow was not mediated by appraisal of daily tasks as hindering, and we, therefore, reject Hypothesis 2b.

Table 3 . HLM results for testing mediation.

The next step involved testing a model that incorporates daily work engagement as a moderator of the multitasking–flow relationship. In this moderation model, both multitasking ( B  = −0.84, p  < 0.001, β  = −0.17) and engagement ( B  = 0.53, p  < 0.001, β  = 0.59) had significant main effects on flow. In addition, the interaction between multitasking and work engagement was significant in predicting flow ( B  = 1.25, p  = 0.027). This result lends support to Hypothesis 3. The interactive effect is shown in Figure 2 , further explored using the simple slopes procedure described by Preacher et al. (2006) . Simple slopes were calculated for conditional values of the moderator at ±1 SD . Tests of simple slopes indicated that the effect of multitasking on flow was significant at lower (−1 SD ) levels of work engagement (simple slope = −1.69, p  = 0.003) and at average levels of work engagement (simple slope = −0.84, p  = 0.017). At higher (+1 SD ) levels of work engagement, multitasking did not significantly reduce flow (simple slope = 0.01, p  = 0.985). We also calculated the region of significance of the simple slopes, which defines the specific values of the moderator at which the slope is statistically significant. We found that the simple slope of flow regressed on multitasking was significant for any value of work engagement below 0.11, and centered scores ranged from −1.79 to 2.00. In other words, moderate to high levels of daily work engagement buffered the detrimental effect of multitasking on flow.

Figure 2 . Interaction of work engagement with multitasking in predicting flow.

Finally, we regressed performance on flow. In support of Hypothesis 4, we found that on days when employees experienced more flow, they reported higher performance compared with days on which they experienced less flow ( B  = 0.65, p  < 0.001, β  = 0.46). We again used the procedures of Bauer et al. (2006) , this time to test a model in which flow mediates the association between multitasking and daily performance (Model 3 in Table 3 ). We observed that multitasking was negatively associated with flow ( B  = −1.19, p  = 0.001, β  = −0.25) and flow was positively associated with daily performance ( B  = 0.69, p  < 0.001, β  = 0.49). Thus, on days when employees multitasked more, they experienced less flow and in turn reported lower performance, compared with days on which they multitasked less. This indirect effect was estimated at −0.82 with a 95% CI [−1.38, −0.34]. Together with the mediating mechanism of challenge appraisals of daily tasks that we found earlier, this result supports Hypothesis 5.

5 Discussion

Today, many – if not most – employees are forced to shift attention between a high number of tasks on a daily basis, perhaps even get addicted to multitasking ( Dean and Webb, 2011 ), yet at what cost? This paper aimed to investigate the implications of multitasking for individuals and organizations. We have argued that a better understanding of the consequences of multitasking requires (a) an ecologically valid examination of the way in which daily tasks unfold, (b) an integration of scholarly work on multitasking and work-related flow, and (c) identification of mediators and moderators that contextualize employees’ responses to multitasking. Hence, the present diary study developed and tested a comprehensive model of day-level multitasking that aimed to shed light on why and when performance of multiple tasks relates to flow and, consequently, to subjective performance at work. Our results provide support for most of the hypotheses advanced herein.

The results of our study have important implications for research on the consequences of multitasking. In a sample of professional workers, we observed that on days when employees’ working time was highly fragmented across a high number of tasks, they experienced less flow and, in turn, their self-reported performance was lower for that particular day. Adler and Benbunan-Fich (2013) posited that people who are in flow are totally focused on a single task and unlikely to multitask. Our results speak to this notion as they indicate that day-level multitasking indeed impairs flow.

We further contribute to Peifer and Zipp’s (2019) line of research and theoretical model (i.e., transactional model of stress and flow) in three important ways. First, we have put forward (and empirically tested) a mediating mechanism that underlies the relationship between multitasking and flow, focusing on appraisal of daily tasks as challenging or hindering. We found that an explanation for this relationship is that a working day full of multitasking impairs the perception of one’s daily tasks as challenges or opportunities. On days when employees’ time for tasks was highly fragmented, those tasks were appraised as less challenging, which resulted in less flow experiences. This result is in line with previous research on how flow experiences are particularly observed in challenging tasks (see Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ). For instance, Csikszentmihalyi (2000) described how surgeons find flow during difficult surgeries. We add to previous research the insight that multitasking as a stressor makes it more difficult to appraise one’s tasks as challenging tasks. In other words, on days characterized by multitasking, employees are less inclined to appraise their daily tasks as challenging.

Importantly, we found no such effect for the hindrance appraisal of daily tasks. While interruptions as such are typically appraised as hindrances ( Smith et al., 2022 ), this does not necessarily mean that the interrupted and interrupting tasks are considered hindrances. Our result suggests that the hindrance of performing multiple tasks does not add to the pressure associated with a particular task or turn these tasks into hassles. Rather, multitasking is detrimental only in the sense that it interferes with the potential for achievement and personal growth of certain daily tasks (i.e., challenging tasks are not perceived as such). Hindrance appraisal of daily tasks was not related to flow, which is in line with the meta-analytic result of Liu et al. (2023) that hindrance demands were not significantly related to flow or any of its subdimensions. Conceptually, flow is more closely linked to challenges ( Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ), and it indeed seems that only challenge appraisals can link multitasking to flow.

A second way in which we build on Peifer and Zipp’s (2019) study is that we have illuminated the ‘when’ of the multitasking–flow relationship by empirically testing daily engagement as a buffer for this relationship. It is not impossible to experience flow while multitasking. Our data indicated that employees are not equally engaged at work across days; there are days when employees feel more energetic and dedicated than on other days. Importantly, Sonnentag et al. (2010) noted that “in many work settings there are specific times and periods when it is necessary that employees are particularly engaged at work” (p. 27). Work engagement may buffer flow-inhibitors and may build resources that could activate flow-enablers ( Yan and Donaldson, 2023 ). Our results speak to this notion, showing that on days when employees were highly engaged, the detrimental impact of multitasking on flow was weakened. It appears that daily engagement offers employees substitute resources to cope with day-level multitasking and remain in a flow state despite the demands of multitasking. Given that work engagement is a positive and high-activation state ( Bakker et al., 2011 ), in a multitasking environment, engaged employees should be more willing to put in the effort (e.g., to navigate attention back to a task) and have abundant energy to do so (e.g., in fact navigating back to a task), much like conscientious individuals are likely to do ( Demerouti, 2006 ). Thus, even though engaged employees have to multitask as much as their less engaged counterparts, they have the capacity and willpower to create conditions under which flow can be attained and maintained.

Third, we have addressed Peifer and Zipp’s (2019) call for studying objective multitasking demands. We consider it a key strength of our study that we relied on a fine-grained measure of multitasking that is based on daily diaries. We have investigated this phenomenon in an organizational setting, focusing on the daily working life of employees and examining how they feel they are performing in light of the multitasking reality of their organization. Thus, from a methodological point of view, we believe our results offer ecologically valid insights into why and when day-level multitasking hinders flow and subjective performance on a given day.

Our study contributes to the broad field of multitasking, as we believe the theorizing and empirical results presented in this paper may be useful in extending frameworks for the study of cumulative interruptions and task switches (see Baethge et al., 2015 ; Puranik et al., 2020 ). By first demonstrating that impaired flow explains the effect of multitasking on daily job performance, and then illuminating why (i.e., reduced challenge appraisals) and when (i.e., on days when employees are less engaged) day-level multitasking is detrimental to flow, we contribute to a more comprehensive understanding of employees’ short-term responses to juggling multiple tasks. The ‘why’ and ‘when’ of the multitasking–flow relationship relate to the primary and secondary appraisal processes in the transactional model of stress and flow ( Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ). With regard to primary appraisal, we found that performing multiple tasks reduces the challenges one perceives throughout the workday, thereby hindering flow because flow tends to be experienced in challenging tasks. In accordance with the challenge-hindrance stressor framework ( LePine et al., 2005 ), we argue that multitasking can be categorized as a hindrance stressor, for which employees need to adopt a coping strategy if they want to experience flow. Our study suggests that daily work engagement may provide the necessary coping resources, allowing for a more positive secondary appraisal. We believe these are insights that help further specify the transactional model of stress and flow.

Finally, the present study advances our understanding of the antecedents and consequences of flow. We have shown that flow, as an experiential well-being state ( Ilies et al., 2017 ), has immediate implications for how employees perform. While research has established the importance of flow for predicting performance, our study adds to a small but growing body of research that examines flow as a within-person performance process ( Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ; Soriano et al., 2021 ; Weintraub et al., 2021 ; Gerpott et al., 2022 ; Aitken et al., 2023 ). Importantly, we have identified multitasking as a major obstacle to work-related flow, at least for those employees who do not feel particularly engaged. Our study thus provides empirical support for the notion that entering flow requires initial energy (which might get lost when multitasking), but once reached it is a state in which people can recover and build resources (see also Gerpott et al., 2022 ).

5.1 Practical implications

The results from this study suggest that multitasking poses serious concerns for employee effectiveness. Notably, we observed almost no between-individual variance in day-level multitasking (see Table 1 ). Thus, the level of multitasking cannot be explained by any individual-level differences (such as personality or work style) but rather is determined by situational, day-level variables. In other words, multitasking is not a given or stable work feature; some days are characterized by more alternations between activities and will require more (simultaneous or sequential) multitasking behaviors than other days. In a way, this suggests that employees and managers are left with little opportunity to be proactive and optimize the daily work environment. However, Bakker and Van Woerkom (2017) claimed that flow should not be seen as a passively determined state but can be shaped by individual behaviors (see also Liu et al., 2023 ). In a similar vein, we believe that the level of multitasking should not be seen as something employees and managers have no control over. Employees need to realize they are active agents; they can develop strategies for managing cumulative alternations and opt for a flow-conducive strategy to cope with multiple tasks (which multitasking is not; Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ). In fact, optimizing job demands (i.e., simplifying the job and bypassing inefficient work processes) may be more fruitful than minimizing job demands ( Demerouti and Peeters, 2018 ). For managers, it is important to realize that if employees are spread too thin, this limits the learning potential of challenging tasks. They should therefore be mindful of daily variations in multitasking and assist employees on those days when they have to juggle many tasks.

Such assistance could be reflected in promoting strategies for time and attention management. Specifically, organizations are recommended to enable employees to monotask more frequently and for longer stretches of time, for instance by creating spaces designated for focused, uninterrupted work. Moreover, anecdotal evidence from our study suggests that organizations should try to limit the number of meetings, as these prompted many of the task switches. Evitable work switches may be reduced also by implementing new ways of working that enable employees to work whenever and wherever they want, in particular when they need time to work on solitary projects, thereby distancing themselves physically from colleagues and clients. Such organizational interventions could enhance the restorativeness of the work environment (see Bellini et al., 2023 ).

Working from home may help in shaping more engaged subsequent workdays ( Darouei and Pluut, 2021 ), which will assist employees in coping with multitasking, as our results suggest. That being said, teleworkers may struggle with homeplace intrusions and social isolation as impediments to flow ( Aitken et al., 2023 ). Personal resources (such as discipline and resilience) seem critical in this respect. Therefore, we recommend that organizations offer personal resources interventions and mindfulness trainings for employees who are regularly faced with the demands of multitasking. An intervention study found that personal resources had a positive impact on work engagement ( Bakker and van Wingerden, 2021 ), while mindfulness has been found to result in improved self-regulation ( Glomb et al., 2011 ) and work engagement ( Leroy et al., 2013 ). Mindfulness seems to be fundamentally connected to workplace functioning, especially in light of the multitasking reality of many organizations. The growing body of research on mindfulness interventions suggests that working mindfully is associated with attentional stability (sustaining attention), attentional control (directing attention amid competing demands), and attentional efficiency (economical use of attentional resources) ( Good et al., 2016 ). When the workday involves multiple tasks, those benefits of working mindfully should assist employees in alternating effectively between activities, finding focus in their work, and determining which tasks should be completed with undivided attention.

5.2 Limitations and directions for future research

We should note several limitations of our study. Although multitasking was measured based on detailed reports of work activities ( cf . perceptual measures; e.g., Kirchberg et al., 2015 ; Peifer and Zipp, 2019 ), we did not use in-the-moment data collection. We did not have information on the share of resources other than time allocated to activities, how often employees were interrupted, if and when they resumed their tasks, or the reasons for multitasking. Thus, we are somewhat limited in our understanding of the nature of employees’ multitasking behaviors and it remains unclear whether flow is hindered by the performance of multiple tasks simultaneously, the interruptions associated with multitasking, or the task-switching aspects. We therefore recommend that future studies distinguish between the switching, interleaving, and overlaying types of multitasking behavior ( Circella et al., 2012 ). Higher levels of granularity would allow for examining whether challenge and hindrance appraisals differ across types and what are the consequences for flow and job performance. Future studies are also recommended to use observation methods (see Wajcman and Rose, 2011 ) or a fixed format in the survey by which employees log the start time, end time, and resumption time of all daily tasks (see Feldman and Greenway, 2021 ), if feasible.

Despite this limitation, our study design and data collection method were still intensive and demanding, which has come at the cost of the number of participants in the sample and the number of daily records in the analysis. Given the small sample size, it is important to interpret the magnitude of the effect sizes reported herein with caution. Also, inter-item correlations can be unstable if the sample size is small ( Kennedy, 2022 ) and the internal consistency of a scale can decrease if items are dropped ( Schaufeli et al., 2019 ). We indeed observed in our study that day-specific Cronbach’s alphas are quite sensitive to small sample sizes and shortened scales. Hence, we spur researchers to investigate the relationships proposed herein and replicate our results using a large sample, ideally with multiple measurements throughout the day. That is, our results may be subject to concerns regarding the possibility of reversed causation and common method bias ( Siemsen et al., 2010 ), as our design did not involve temporal separation of the daily measures and we relied merely on employees’ self-reports for the assessment of job performance.

Our daily diary design covered 4 weeks and we were therefore not able to take a long-term perspective on the consequences of multitasking. Notably, multitasking is considered a poor strategy for learning ( Rosen, 2008 ), and the results of the current study on challenge appraisal speak to this notion. Our suggestion is that researchers adopt longitudinal designs and examine the implications of day-level multitasking and flow for longer-term outcomes such as workplace learning. Moreover, we have exclusively focused on outcomes in the work domain. It would be interesting for future researchers to examine multitasking as a hindrance demand that depletes (personal) resources, thereby spilling over to the home domain and potentially leading to work–family conflict. We further believe that research in the field of job crafting can make a contribution to the literature on multitasking by identifying crafting behaviors of individuals (mostly likely in the domains of task and relationship crafting, see Wrzesniewski and Dutton, 2001 ) that serve as responses to organizational realities of multitasking. Finally, while we focused on state work engagement, trait work engagement may also prove promising to study as a person-level resource that buffers the detrimental impact of multitasking (see Puranik et al., 2020 ) as well as its relationship with job crafting in this context (see Bakker et al., 2023 ).

Data availability statement

The raw data supporting the conclusions of this article will be made available by the authors, without undue reservation upon request.

Ethics statement

Ethical review and approval was not required for the study on human participants in accordance with the local legislation and institutional requirements. Written informed consent from the patients/participants or patients/participants legal guardian/next of kin was not required to participate in this study in accordance with the national legislation and the institutional requirements.

Author contributions

HP: Conceptualization, Formal analysis, Investigation, Methodology, Writing – original draft, Writing – review & editing. MD: Conceptualization, Investigation, Methodology, Writing – original draft, Writing – review & editing. MZ: Conceptualization, Investigation, Methodology, Writing – original draft, Writing – review & editing.

The author(s) declare that no financial support was received for the research, authorship, and/or publication of this article.

Conflict of interest

The authors declare that the research was conducted in the absence of any commercial or financial relationships that could be construed as a potential conflict of interest.

Publisher’s note

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Keywords: multitasking, flow, engagement, stress appraisal, experience-sampling methodology

Citation: Pluut H, Darouei M and Zeijen MEL (2024) Why and when does multitasking impair flow and subjective performance? A daily diary study on the role of task appraisals and work engagement. Front. Psychol . 15:1384453. doi: 10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1384453

Received: 09 February 2024; Accepted: 15 July 2024; Published: 25 July 2024.

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*Correspondence: Helen Pluut, [email protected]

† These authors have contributed equally to this work

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