essay about the ultimate end of my life

• Login / Sign Up

With 40 days left, we need your help

The US presidential campaign is in its final weeks and we’re dedicated to helping you understand the stakes. In this election cycle, it’s more important than ever to provide context beyond the headlines. But in-depth reporting is costly, so to continue this vital work, we have an ambitious goal to add 5,000 new members.

We rely on readers like you to fund our journalism. Will you support our work and become a Vox Member today?

5 moving, beautiful essays about death and dying

by Sarah Kliff

It is never easy to contemplate the end-of-life, whether its own our experience or that of a loved one.

This has made a recent swath of beautiful essays a surprise. In different publications over the past few weeks, I’ve stumbled upon writers who were contemplating final days. These are, no doubt, hard stories to read. I had to take breaks as I read about Paul Kalanithi’s experience facing metastatic lung cancer while parenting a toddler, and was devastated as I followed Liz Lopatto’s contemplations on how to give her ailing cat the best death possible. But I also learned so much from reading these essays, too, about what it means to have a good death versus a difficult end from those forced to grapple with the issue. These are four stories that have stood out to me recently, alongside one essay from a few years ago that sticks with me today.

My Own Life | Oliver Sacks

As recently as last month, popular author and neurologist Oliver Sacks was in great health, even swimming a mile every day. Then, everything changed: the 81-year-old was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. In a beautiful op-ed , published in late February in the New York Times, he describes his state of mind and how he’ll face his final moments. What I liked about this essay is how Sacks describes how his world view shifts as he sees his time on earth getting shorter, and how he thinks about the value of his time.

Before I go | Paul Kalanithi

Kalanthi began noticing symptoms — “weight loss, fevers, night sweats, unremitting back pain, cough” — during his sixth year of residency as a neurologist at Stanford. A CT scan revealed metastatic lung cancer. Kalanthi writes about his daughter, Cady and how he “probably won’t live long enough for her to have a memory of me.” Much of his essay focuses on an interesting discussion of time, how it’s become a double-edged sword. Each day, he sees his daughter grow older, a joy. But every day is also one that brings him closer to his likely death from cancer.

As I lay dying | Laurie Becklund

Becklund’s essay was published posthumonously after her death on February 8 of this year. One of the unique issues she grapples with is how to discuss her terminal diagnosis with others and the challenge of not becoming defined by a disease. “Who would ever sign another book contract with a dying woman?” she writes. “Or remember Laurie Becklund, valedictorian, Fulbright scholar, former Times staff writer who exposed the Salvadoran death squads and helped The Times win a Pulitzer Prize for coverage of the 1992 L.A. riots? More important, and more honest, who would ever again look at me just as Laurie?”

Everything I know about a good death I learned from my cat | Liz Lopatto

Dorothy Parker was Lopatto’s cat, a stray adopted from a local vet. And Dorothy Parker, known mostly as Dottie, died peacefully when she passed away earlier this month. Lopatto’s essay is, in part, about what she learned about end-of-life care for humans from her cat. But perhaps more than that, it’s also about the limitations of how much her experience caring for a pet can transfer to caring for another person.

Yes, Lopatto’s essay is about a cat rather than a human being. No, it does not make it any easier to read. She describes in searing detail about the experience of caring for another being at the end of life. “Dottie used to weigh almost 20 pounds; she now weighs six,” Lopatto writes. “My vet is right about Dottie being close to death, that it’s probably a matter of weeks rather than months.”

Letting Go | Atul Gawande

“Letting Go” is a beautiful, difficult true story of death. You know from the very first sentence — “Sara Thomas Monopoli was pregnant with her first child when her doctors learned that she was going to die” — that it is going to be tragic. This story has long been one of my favorite pieces of health care journalism because it grapples so starkly with the difficult realities of end-of-life care.

In the story, Monopoli is diagnosed with stage four lung cancer, a surprise for a non-smoking young woman. It’s a devastating death sentence: doctors know that lung cancer that advanced is terminal. Gawande knew this too — Monpoli was his patient. But actually discussing this fact with a young patient with a newborn baby seemed impossible.

"Having any sort of discussion where you begin to say, 'look you probably only have a few months to live. How do we make the best of that time without giving up on the options that you have?' That was a conversation I wasn't ready to have," Gawande recounts of the case in a new Frontline documentary .

What’s tragic about Monopoli’s case was, of course, her death at an early age, in her 30s. But the tragedy that Gawande hones in on — the type of tragedy we talk about much less — is how terribly Monopoli’s last days played out.

• Health Care

Most Popular

• The profit-obsessed monster destroying American emergency rooms
• The egregious missteps of Ryan Murphy’s new Menendez brothers drama
• The only moment from the VP debate that mattered
• The Supreme Court will decide if Oklahoma must execute a man it doesn’t want to kill
• The massive dock workers’ strike, explained

Today, Explained

Understand the world with a daily explainer plus the most compelling stories of the day.

This is the title for the native ad

More in Politics

What young people want out of this election

Hassan Nasrallah, the leader of Hezbollah, was killed in an airstrike. What now?

Musk and Republicans have embraced falsehoods that undermine the legitimacy of the election.

The Republican VP candidate isn’t a moderate, but at the debate Tuesday, he played one on TV.

Tuesday night’s Vance-Walz matchup was more civil and substantive than the Trump-Harris one — with enough for both sides to claim victory.

Vance’s “damning non-answer” on the 2020 election exposed the true stakes for democracy in 2024.

• Death And Dying

8 Popular Essays About Death, Grief & the Afterlife

Updated 05/4/2022

Published 07/19/2021

Joe Oliveto, BA in English

Contributing writer

Cake values integrity and transparency. We follow a strict editorial process to provide you with the best content possible. We also may earn commission from purchases made through affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. Learn more in our affiliate disclosure .

Death is a strange topic for many reasons, one of which is the simple fact that different people can have vastly different opinions about discussing it.

Jump ahead to these sections: 

Essays or articles about the death of a loved one, essays or articles about dealing with grief, essays or articles about the afterlife or near-death experiences.

Some fear death so greatly they don’t want to talk about it at all. However, because death is a universal human experience, there are also those who believe firmly in addressing it directly. This may be more common now than ever before due to the rise of the death positive movement and mindset.

You might believe there’s something to be gained from talking and learning about death. If so, reading essays about death, grief, and even near-death experiences can potentially help you begin addressing your own death anxiety. This list of essays and articles is a good place to start. The essays here cover losing a loved one, dealing with grief, near-death experiences, and even what someone goes through when they know they’re dying.

Losing a close loved one is never an easy experience. However, these essays on the topic can help someone find some meaning or peace in their grief.

1. ‘I’m Sorry I Didn’t Respond to Your Email, My Husband Coughed to Death Two Years Ago’ by Rachel Ward

Rachel Ward’s essay about coping with the death of her husband isn’t like many essays about death. It’s very informal, packed with sarcastic humor, and uses an FAQ format. However, it earns a spot on this list due to the powerful way it describes the process of slowly finding joy in life again after losing a close loved one.

Ward’s experience is also interesting because in the years after her husband’s death, many new people came into her life unaware that she was a widow. Thus, she often had to tell these new people a story that’s painful but unavoidable. This is a common aspect of losing a loved one that not many discussions address.

2. ‘Everything I know about a good death I learned from my cat’ by Elizabeth Lopatto

Not all great essays about death need to be about human deaths! In this essay, author Elizabeth Lopatto explains how watching her beloved cat slowly die of leukemia and coordinating with her vet throughout the process helped her better understand what a “good death” looks like.

For instance, she explains how her vet provided a degree of treatment but never gave her false hope (for instance, by claiming her cat was going to beat her illness). They also worked together to make sure her cat was as comfortable as possible during the last stages of her life instead of prolonging her suffering with unnecessary treatments.

Lopatto compares this to the experiences of many people near death. Sometimes they struggle with knowing how to accept death because well-meaning doctors have given them the impression that more treatments may prolong or even save their lives, when the likelihood of them being effective is slimmer than patients may realize.

Instead, Lopatto argues that it’s important for loved ones and doctors to have honest and open conversations about death when someone’s passing is likely near. This can make it easier to prioritize their final wishes instead of filling their last days with hospital visits, uncomfortable treatments, and limited opportunities to enjoy themselves.

3. ‘The terrorist inside my husband’s brain’ by Susan Schneider Williams

This article, which Susan Schneider Williams wrote after the death of her husband Robin Willians, covers many of the topics that numerous essays about the death of a loved one cover, such as coping with life when you no longer have support from someone who offered so much of it. 

However, it discusses living with someone coping with a difficult illness that you don’t fully understand, as well. The article also explains that the best way to honor loved ones who pass away after a long struggle is to work towards better understanding the illnesses that affected them. 

4. ‘Before I Go’ by Paul Kalanithi

“Before I Go” is a unique essay in that it’s about the death of a loved one, written by the dying loved one. Its author, Paul Kalanithi, writes about how a terminal cancer diagnosis has changed the meaning of time for him.

Kalanithi describes believing he will die when his daughter is so young that she will likely never have any memories of him. As such, each new day brings mixed feelings. On the one hand, each day gives him a new opportunity to see his daughter grow, which brings him joy. On the other hand, he must struggle with knowing that every new day brings him closer to the day when he’ll have to leave her life.

Coping with grief can be immensely challenging. That said, as the stories in these essays illustrate, it is possible to manage grief in a positive and optimistic way.

5. Untitled by Sheryl Sandberg

This piece by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s current CEO, isn’t a traditional essay or article. It’s actually a long Facebook post. However, many find it’s one of the best essays about death and grief anyone has published in recent years.

She posted it on the last day of sheloshim for her husband, a period of 30 days involving intense mourning in Judaism. In the post, Sandberg describes in very honest terms how much she learned from those 30 days of mourning, admitting that she sometimes still experiences hopelessness, but has resolved to move forward in life productively and with dignity.

She explains how she wanted her life to be “Option A,” the one she had planned with her husband. However, because that’s no longer an option, she’s decided the best way to honor her husband’s memory is to do her absolute best with “Option B.”

This metaphor actually became the title of her next book. Option B , which Sandberg co-authored with Adam Grant, a psychologist at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania, is already one of the most beloved books about death , grief, and being resilient in the face of major life changes. It may strongly appeal to anyone who also appreciates essays about death as well.

6. ‘My Own Life’ by Oliver Sacks

Grief doesn’t merely involve grieving those we’ve lost. It can take the form of the grief someone feels when they know they’re going to die.

Renowned physician and author Oliver Sacks learned he had terminal cancer in 2015. In this essay, he openly admits that he fears his death. However, he also describes how knowing he is going to die soon provides a sense of clarity about what matters most. Instead of wallowing in his grief and fear, he writes about planning to make the very most of the limited time he still has.

Belief in (or at least hope for) an afterlife has been common throughout humanity for decades. Additionally, some people who have been clinically dead report actually having gone to the afterlife and experiencing it themselves.

Whether you want the comfort that comes from learning that the afterlife may indeed exist, or you simply find the topic of near-death experiences interesting, these are a couple of short articles worth checking out.

7. ‘My Experience in a Coma’ by Eben Alexander

“My Experience in a Coma” is a shortened version of the narrative Dr. Eben Alexander shared in his book, Proof of Heaven . Alexander’s near-death experience is unique, as he’s a medical doctor who believes that his experience is (as the name of his book suggests) proof that an afterlife exists. He explains how at the time he had this experience, he was clinically braindead, and therefore should not have been able to consciously experience anything.

Alexander describes the afterlife in much the same way many others who’ve had near-death experiences describe it. He describes starting out in an “unresponsive realm” before a spinning white light that brought with it a musical melody transported him to a valley of abundant plant life, crystal pools, and angelic choirs. He states he continued to move from one realm to another, each realm higher than the last, before reaching the realm where the infinite love of God (which he says is not the “god” of any particular religion) overwhelmed him.

8. “One Man's Tale of Dying—And Then Waking Up” by Paul Perry

The author of this essay recounts what he considers to be one of the strongest near-death experience stories he’s heard out of the many he’s researched and written about over the years. The story involves Dr. Rajiv Parti, who claims his near-death experience changed his views on life dramatically.

Parti was highly materialistic before his near-death experience. During it, he claims to have been given a new perspective, realizing that life is about more than what his wealth can purchase. He returned from the experience with a permanently changed outlook.

This is common among those who claim to have had near-death experiences. Often, these experiences leave them kinder, more understanding, more spiritual, and less materialistic.

This short article is a basic introduction to Parti’s story. He describes it himself in greater detail in the book Dying to Wake Up , which he co-wrote with Paul Perry, the author of the article.

Essays About Death: Discussing a Difficult Topic

It’s completely natural and understandable to have reservations about discussing death. However, because death is unavoidable, talking about it and reading essays and books about death instead of avoiding the topic altogether is something that benefits many people. Sometimes, the only way to cope with something frightening is to address it.

Categories:

• Coping With Grief

You may also like

What is a 'Good Death' in End-of-Life Care?

11 Popular Websites About Death and End of Life

18 Questions About Death to Get You Thinking About Mortality

15 Best Children’s Books About the Death of a Parent

May 3, 2023

Contemplating Mortality: Powerful Essays on Death and Inspiring Perspectives

The prospect of death may be unsettling, but it also holds a deep fascination for many of us. If you're curious to explore the many facets of mortality, from the scientific to the spiritual, our article is the perfect place to start. With expert guidance and a wealth of inspiration, we'll help you write an essay that engages and enlightens readers on one of life's most enduring mysteries!

Death is a universal human experience that we all must face at some point in our lives. While it can be difficult to contemplate mortality, reflecting on death and loss can offer inspiring perspectives on the nature of life and the importance of living in the present moment. In this collection of powerful essays about death, we explore profound writings that delve into the human experience of coping with death, grief, acceptance, and philosophical reflections on mortality.

Through these essays, readers can gain insight into different perspectives on death and how we can cope with it. From personal accounts of loss to philosophical reflections on the meaning of life, these essays offer a diverse range of perspectives that will inspire and challenge readers to contemplate their mortality.

The Inevitable: Coping with Mortality and Grief

Mortality is a reality that we all have to face, and it is something that we cannot avoid. While we may all wish to live forever, the truth is that we will all eventually pass away. In this article, we will explore different aspects of coping with mortality and grief, including understanding the grieving process, dealing with the fear of death, finding meaning in life, and seeking support.

Understanding the Grieving Process

Grief is a natural and normal response to loss. It is a process that we all go through when we lose someone or something important to us. The grieving process can be different for each person and can take different amounts of time. Some common stages of grief include denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve and that it is a personal process.

Denial is often the first stage of grief. It is a natural response to shock and disbelief. During this stage, we may refuse to believe that our loved one has passed away or that we are facing our mortality.

Anger is a common stage of grief. It can manifest as feelings of frustration, resentment, and even rage. It is important to allow yourself to feel angry and to express your emotions healthily.

Bargaining is often the stage of grief where we try to make deals with a higher power or the universe in an attempt to avoid our grief or loss. We may make promises or ask for help in exchange for something else.

Depression is a natural response to loss. It is important to allow yourself to feel sad and to seek support from others.

Acceptance is often the final stage of grief. It is when we come to terms with our loss and begin to move forward with our lives.

Dealing with the Fear of Death

The fear of death is a natural response to the realization of our mortality. It is important to acknowledge and accept our fear of death but also to not let it control our lives. Here are some ways to deal with the fear of death:

Accepting Mortality

Accepting our mortality is an important step in dealing with the fear of death. We must understand that death is a natural part of life and that it is something that we cannot avoid.

Finding Meaning in Life

Finding meaning in life can help us cope with the fear of death. It is important to pursue activities and goals that are meaningful and fulfilling to us.

Seeking Support

Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can help us cope with the fear of death. Talking about our fears and feelings can help us process them and move forward.

Finding meaning in life is important in coping with mortality and grief. It can help us find purpose and fulfillment, even in difficult times. Here are some ways to find meaning in life:

Pursuing Passions

Pursuing our passions and interests can help us find meaning and purpose in life. It is important to do things that we enjoy and that give us a sense of accomplishment.

Helping Others

Helping others can give us a sense of purpose and fulfillment. It can also help us feel connected to others and make a positive impact on the world.

Making Connections

Making connections with others is important in finding meaning in life. It is important to build relationships and connections with people who share our values and interests.

Seeking support is crucial when coping with mortality and grief. Here are some ways to seek support:

Talking to Friends and Family

Talking to friends and family members can provide us with a sense of comfort and support. It is important to express our feelings and emotions to those we trust.

Joining a Support Group

Joining a support group can help us connect with others who are going through similar experiences. It can provide us with a safe space to share our feelings and find support.

Seeking Professional Help

Seeking help from a therapist or counselor can help cope with grief and mortality. A mental health professional can provide us with the tools and support we need to process our emotions and move forward.

Coping with mortality and grief is a natural part of life. It is important to understand that grief is a personal process that may take time to work through. Finding meaning in life, dealing with the fear of death, and seeking support are all important ways to cope with mortality and grief. Remember to take care of yourself, allow yourself to feel your emotions, and seek support when needed.

The Ethics of Death: A Philosophical Exploration

Death is an inevitable part of life, and it is something that we will all experience at some point. It is a topic that has fascinated philosophers for centuries, and it continues to be debated to this day. In this article, we will explore the ethics of death from a philosophical perspective, considering questions such as what it means to die, the morality of assisted suicide, and the meaning of life in the face of death.

Death is a topic that elicits a wide range of emotions, from fear and sadness to acceptance and peace. Philosophers have long been interested in exploring the ethical implications of death, and in this article, we will delve into some of the most pressing questions in this field.

What does it mean to die?

The concept of death is a complex one, and there are many different ways to approach it from a philosophical perspective. One question that arises is what it means to die. Is death simply the cessation of bodily functions, or is there something more to it than that? Many philosophers argue that death represents the end of consciousness and the self, which raises questions about the nature of the soul and the afterlife.

The morality of assisted suicide

Assisted suicide is a controversial topic, and it raises several ethical concerns. On the one hand, some argue that individuals have the right to end their own lives if they are suffering from a terminal illness or unbearable pain. On the other hand, others argue that assisting someone in taking their own life is morally wrong and violates the sanctity of life. We will explore these arguments and consider the ethical implications of assisted suicide.

The meaning of life in the face of death

The inevitability of death raises important questions about the meaning of life. If our time on earth is finite, what is the purpose of our existence? Is there a higher meaning to life, or is it simply a product of biological processes? Many philosophers have grappled with these questions, and we will explore some of the most influential theories in this field.

The role of death in shaping our lives

While death is often seen as a negative force, it can also have a positive impact on our lives. The knowledge that our time on earth is limited can motivate us to live life to the fullest and to prioritize the things that truly matter. We will explore the role of death in shaping our values, goals, and priorities, and consider how we can use this knowledge to live more fulfilling lives.

The ethics of mourning

The process of mourning is an important part of the human experience, and it raises several ethical questions. How should we respond to the death of others, and what is our ethical responsibility to those who are grieving? We will explore these questions and consider how we can support those who are mourning while also respecting their autonomy and individual experiences.

The ethics of immortality

The idea of immortality has long been a fascination for humanity, but it raises important ethical questions. If we were able to live forever, what would be the implications for our sense of self, our relationships with others, and our moral responsibilities? We will explore the ethical implications of immortality and consider how it might challenge our understanding of what it means to be human.

The ethics of death in different cultural contexts

Death is a universal human experience, but how it is understood and experienced varies across different cultures. We will explore how different cultures approach death, mourning, and the afterlife, and consider the ethical implications of these differences.

Death is a complex and multifaceted topic, and it raises important questions about the nature of life, morality, and human experience. By exploring the ethics of death from a philosophical perspective, we can gain a deeper understanding of these questions and how they shape our lives.

The Ripple Effect of Loss: How Death Impacts Relationships

Losing a loved one is one of the most challenging experiences one can go through in life. It is a universal experience that touches people of all ages, cultures, and backgrounds. The grief that follows the death of someone close can be overwhelming and can take a significant toll on an individual's mental and physical health. However, it is not only the individual who experiences the grief but also the people around them. In this article, we will discuss the ripple effect of loss and how death impacts relationships.

Understanding Grief and Loss

Grief is the natural response to loss, and it can manifest in many different ways. The process of grieving is unique to each individual and can be affected by many factors, such as culture, religion, and personal beliefs. Grief can be intense and can impact all areas of life, including relationships, work, and physical health.

The Impact of Loss on Relationships

Death can impact relationships in many ways, and the effects can be long-lasting. Below are some of how loss can affect relationships:

1. Changes in Roles and Responsibilities

When someone dies, the roles and responsibilities within a family or social circle can shift dramatically. For example, a spouse who has lost their partner may have to take on responsibilities they never had before, such as managing finances or taking care of children. This can be a difficult adjustment, and it can put a strain on the relationship.

2. Changes in Communication

Grief can make it challenging to communicate with others effectively. Some people may withdraw and isolate themselves, while others may become angry and lash out. It is essential to understand that everyone grieves differently, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. However, these changes in communication can impact relationships, and it may take time to adjust to new ways of interacting with others.

3. Changes in Emotional Connection

When someone dies, the emotional connection between individuals can change. For example, a parent who has lost a child may find it challenging to connect with other parents who still have their children. This can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection, and it can strain relationships.

4. Changes in Social Support

Social support is critical when dealing with grief and loss. However, it is not uncommon for people to feel unsupported during this time. Friends and family may not know what to say or do, or they may simply be too overwhelmed with their grief to offer support. This lack of social support can impact relationships and make it challenging to cope with grief.

Coping with Loss and Its Impact on Relationships

Coping with grief and loss is a long and difficult process, but it is possible to find ways to manage the impact on relationships. Below are some strategies that can help:

1. Communication

Effective communication is essential when dealing with grief and loss. It is essential to talk about how you feel and what you need from others. This can help to reduce misunderstandings and make it easier to navigate changes in relationships.

2. Seek Support

It is important to seek support from friends, family, or a professional if you are struggling to cope with grief and loss. Having someone to talk to can help to alleviate feelings of isolation and provide a safe space to process emotions.

3. Self-Care

Self-care is critical when dealing with grief and loss. It is essential to take care of your physical and emotional well-being. This can include things like exercise, eating well, and engaging in activities that you enjoy.

4. Allow for Flexibility

It is essential to allow for flexibility in relationships when dealing with grief and loss. People may not be able to provide the same level of support they once did or may need more support than they did before. Being open to changes in roles and responsibilities can help to reduce strain on relationships.

5. Find Meaning

Finding meaning in the loss can be a powerful way to cope with grief and loss. This can involve creating a memorial, participating in a support group, or volunteering for a cause that is meaningful to you.

The impact of loss is not limited to the individual who experiences it but extends to those around them as well. Relationships can be greatly impacted by the death of a loved one, and it is important to be aware of the changes that may occur. Coping with loss and its impact on relationships involves effective communication, seeking support, self-care, flexibility, and finding meaning.

What Lies Beyond Reflections on the Mystery of Death

Death is an inevitable part of life, and yet it remains one of the greatest mysteries that we face as humans. What happens when we die? Is there an afterlife? These are questions that have puzzled us for centuries, and they continue to do so today. In this article, we will explore the various perspectives on death and what lies beyond.

Understanding Death

Before we can delve into what lies beyond, we must first understand what death is. Death is defined as the permanent cessation of all biological functions that sustain a living organism. This can occur as a result of illness, injury, or simply old age. Death is a natural process that occurs to all living things, but it is also a process that is often accompanied by fear and uncertainty.

The Physical Process of Death

When a person dies, their body undergoes several physical changes. The heart stops beating, and the body begins to cool and stiffen. This is known as rigor mortis, and it typically sets in within 2-6 hours after death. The body also begins to break down, and this can lead to a release of gases that cause bloating and discoloration.

The Psychological Experience of Death

In addition to the physical changes that occur during and after death, there is also a psychological experience that accompanies it. Many people report feeling a sense of detachment from their physical body, as well as a sense of peace and calm. Others report seeing bright lights or visions of loved ones who have already passed on.

Perspectives on What Lies Beyond

There are many different perspectives on what lies beyond death. Some people believe in an afterlife, while others believe in reincarnation or simply that death is the end of consciousness. Let's explore some of these perspectives in more detail.

One of the most common beliefs about what lies beyond death is the idea of an afterlife. This can take many forms, depending on one's religious or spiritual beliefs. For example, many Christians believe in heaven and hell, where people go after they die depending on their actions during life. Muslims believe in paradise and hellfire, while Hindus believe in reincarnation.

Reincarnation

Reincarnation is the belief that after we die, our consciousness is reborn into a new body. This can be based on karma, meaning that the quality of one's past actions will determine the quality of their next life. Some people believe that we can choose the circumstances of our next life based on our desires and attachments in this life.

End of Consciousness

The idea that death is simply the end of consciousness is a common belief among atheists and materialists. This view holds that the brain is responsible for creating consciousness, and when the brain dies, consciousness ceases to exist. While this view may be comforting to some, others find it unsettling.

Death is a complex and mysterious phenomenon that continues to fascinate us. While we may never fully understand what lies beyond death, it's important to remember that everyone has their own beliefs and perspectives on the matter. Whether you believe in an afterlife, reincarnation, or simply the end of consciousness, it's important to find ways to cope with the loss of a loved one and to find peace with your mortality.

Final Words

In conclusion, these powerful essays on death offer inspiring perspectives and deep insights into the human experience of coping with mortality, grief, and loss. From personal accounts to philosophical reflections, these essays provide a diverse range of perspectives that encourage readers to contemplate their mortality and the meaning of life.

By reading and reflecting on these essays, readers can gain a better understanding of how death shapes our lives and relationships, and how we can learn to accept and cope with this inevitable part of the human experience.

If you're looking for a tool to help you write articles, essays, product descriptions, and more, Jenni.ai could be just what you need. With its AI-powered features, Jenni can help you write faster and more efficiently, saving you time and effort. Whether you're a student writing an essay or a professional writer crafting a blog post, Jenni's autocomplete feature, customized styles, and in-text citations can help you produce high-quality content in no time. Don't miss out on the opportunity to supercharge your next research paper or writing project – sign up for Jenni.ai today and start writing with confidence!

Start Writing With Jenni Today

Sign up for a free Jenni AI account today. Unlock your research potential and experience the difference for yourself. Your journey to academic excellence starts here.

Featured Topics

Featured series.

A series of random questions answered by Harvard experts.

Explore the Gazette

Read the latest.

Falls put older adults at increased risk of Alzheimer’s

‘Weekend warriors’ can cut risk of 264 diseases

Drug-free nasal spray blocks, neutralizes viruses, bacteria

Illustration by Tang Yau Hoong

How death shapes life

As global COVID toll hits 5 million, Harvard philosopher ponders the intimate, universal experience of knowing the end will come but not knowing when

Colleen Walsh

Harvard Staff Writer

Does the understanding that our final breath could come tomorrow affect the way we choose to live? And how do we make sense of a life cut short by a random accident, or a collective existence in which the loss of 5 million lives to a pandemic often seems eclipsed by other headlines? For answers, the Gazette turned to Susanna Siegel, Harvard’s Edgar Pierce Professor of Philosophy. Interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Susanna Siegel

GAZETTE: How do we get through the day with death all around us?

SIEGEL: This question arises because we can be made to feel uneasy, distracted, or derailed by death in any form: mass death, or the prospect of our own; deaths of people unknown to us that we only hear or read about; or deaths of people who tear the fabric of our lives when they go. Both in politics and in everyday life, one of the worst things we could do is get used to death, treat it as unremarkable or as anything other than a loss. This fact has profound consequences for every facet of life: politics and governance, interpersonal relationships, and all forms of human consciousness.

When things go well, death stays in the background, and from there, covertly, it shapes our awareness of everything else. Even when we get through the day with ease, the prospect of death is still in some way all around us.

GAZETTE:   Can philosophy help illuminate how death impacts consciousness?

SIEGEL: The philosophers Soren Kierkegaard and Martin Heidegger each discuss death, in their own ways, as a horizon that implicitly shapes our consciousness. It’s what gives future times the pressure they exert on us. A horizon is the kind of thing that is normally in the background — something that limits, partly defines, and sets the stage for what you focus on. These two philosophers help us see the ways that death occupies the background of consciousness — and that the background is where it belongs.

“Both in politics and in everyday life, one of the worst things we could do is get used to death, treat it as unremarkable or as anything other than a loss,” says Susanna Siegel, Harvard’s Edgar Pierce Professor of Philosophy.

Stephanie Mitchell/Harvard Staff Photographer

These philosophical insights are vivid in Rainer Marie Rilke’s short and stunning poem “Der Tod” (“Death”). As Burton Pike translates it from German, the poem begins: “There stands death, a bluish concoction/in a cup without a saucer.” This opening gets me every time. Death is standing. It’s standing in the way liquid stands still in a container. Sometimes cooking instructions tell you to boil a mixture and then let it stand, while you complete another part of the recipe. That’s the way death is in the poem: standing, waiting for you to get farther along with whatever you are doing. It will be there while you’re working, it will be there when you’re done, and in some way, it is a background part of those other tasks.

A few lines later, it’s suggested in the poem that someone long ago, “at a distant breakfast,” saw a dusty, cracked cup — that cup with the bluish concoction standing in it — and this person read the word “hope” written in faded letters on the side of mug. Hope is a future-directed feeling, and in the poem, the word is written on a surface that contains death underneath. As it stands, death shapes the horizon of life.

GAZETTE: What are the ethical consequences of these philosophical views?

SIEGEL: We’re familiar with the ways that making the prospect of death salient can unnerve, paralyze, or derail a person. An extreme example is shown by people with Cotard syndrome , who report feeling that they have already died. It is considered a “monothematic” delusion, because this odd reaction is circumscribed by the sufferers’ other beliefs. They freely acknowledge how strange it is to be both dead and yet still there to report on it. They are typically deeply depressed, burdened with a feeling that all possibilities of action have simply been shut down, closed off, made unavailable. Robbed of a feeling of futurity, seemingly without affordances for action, it feels natural to people in this state to describe it as the state of being already dead.

Cotard syndrome is an extreme case that illustrates how bringing death into the foreground of consciousness can feel utterly disempowering. This observation has political consequences, which are evident in a culture that treats any kind of lethal violence as something we have to expect and plan for. A glaring example would be gun violence, with its lockdown drills for children, its steady stream of the same types of events, over and over — as if these deaths could only be met with a shrug and a sigh, because they are simply part of the cost of other people exercising their freedom.

It isn’t just depressing to bring death into the foreground of consciousness by creating an atmosphere of violence — it’s also dangerous. Any political arrangement that lets masses of people die thematizes death, by making lethal violence perceptible, frequent, salient, talked-about, and tolerated. Raising death to salience in this way can create and then leverage feelings of existential precarity, which in turn emotionally equip people on a mass, nationwide scale to tolerate violence as a tool to gain political power. It’s now a regular occurrence to ram into protestors with vehicles, intimidate voters and poll workers, and prepare to attack government buildings and the people inside. This atmosphere disparages life, and then promises violence as defense against such cheapening, and a means of control.

GAZETTE: When we read about an accidental death in the newspaper, it can be truly unnerving, even though the victim is a stranger. And we’ve been hearing about a steady stream of deaths from COVID-19 for almost two years, to the point where the death count is just part of the daily news. Why is the process of thinking about these losses important?

SIEGEL: It might not seem directly related to politics, but when you react to a life cut short by thinking, “If this terrible thing could happen to them, then it could happen to me,” that reaction is a basic form of civic regard. It’s fragile, and highly sensitive to how deaths are reported and rendered in public. The passing moment of concern may seem insignificant, but it gets supplanted by something much worse when deaths are rendered in ways likely to prompt such questions as “What did they do to get in trouble?” or such suspicions as “They probably had it coming,” or such callous resignations as “They were going to die anyway.” We have seen some of those reactions during the pandemic. They are refusals to recognize the terribleness of death.

Deaths can seem even more haunting when they’re not recognized as a real loss, which is why it’s so important how deaths are depicted by governments and in mass communication. The genre of the obituary is there to present deaths as a loss to the public. The movement for Black lives brought into focus for everyone what many people knew and felt all along, which was that when deaths are not rendered as losses to the public, then they are depicted in a way that erodes civic regard.

When anyone dies from COVID, our political representatives should acknowledge it in a way that does justice to the gravity of that death. Recognizing COVID deaths as a public emergency belongs to the kind of governance that aims to keep the blue concoction where it belongs.

Share this article

You might like.

Researchers found dementia more frequently diagnosed within one year of a fall, compared to other types of injuries

Concentrated routines just as effective as regular weekly exercise in protecting against heart, digestive conditions as well as neurological illnesses

In preclinical studies, spray offered nearly 100% protection from respiratory infections by COVID-19, influenza, viruses, and pneumonia-causing bacteria

Consumers to see benefits of Fed rate cut, but how much and when are less clear

Jason Furman looks at decision, considers what it means to economy, both Wall Street and Main Street

So why does Mr. Whiskers meow?

It may not be for the reasons you think, says evolutionary biologist, whose new book explores how our feline friends came to be

How well do you know your dog?

Take our quiz based on new Netflix documentary featuring Harvard researcher

Reason and Meaning

Philosophical reflections on life, death, and the meaning of life, aristotle on the good life.

Aristotle’s views on living well begin with a consideration of ends and means. Suppose I want a car—the car is my end or goal . I can earn, borrow, or steal the money to get the car—these are my means . The means I choose depends on which is easier, quicker, likelier to succeed, etc. Thinking about the goal we are aiming at, and the means we will employ to reach that goal is practical thinking . But such thinking bears no fruit until it results in purposeful action , which is acting with some end, goal, or purpose in mind. Purposeful action contrasts with aimless or thoughtless action, which is action with no end in view.

Now suppose I get my car? That is itself a means to another end, say of getting to school or work. And of course, getting to school or work is the means to another end, getting a degree or a job. And these are the means of making money, which is itself a means of buying food, clothing, and shelter, which are the means of staying alive. Such considerations led Aristotle to wonder whether there is any ultimate or final end , an end for which everything else is a means, an end that is not a means to anything else. In short, he wanted to know if there is an ultimate end, goal, or purpose for human life.

Aristotle argued that as we mature, we act less aimlessly and more purposefully. We try to develop a plan for living that unites all our various purposes. Without a plan for living, we don’t know what we are trying to do or why we’re trying to do it. Moreover, not just any plan will do—we need the right plan, which is one that aims at the final or ultimate end. But what is the final end of human life, the end that all of us ought to aim at?

For Aristotle, the final end of human life is to flourish, to live well, to have a good life. All actions should aim at this end. Of course, in order to live at all we need food, clothing, and shelter, but living is itself the means to the end of living well. And what is living well a means to? Aristotle says that living well is the final end for humans; it is not a means to anything else. Aristotle thinks this is obvious because few people want to live poorly.

But now another question arises: don’t people differ about what constitutes a good life? For some it may consist of accumulating wealth; for others, it is having power or being famous or experiencing pleasure. But if people construe the good life differently, if they have different desires, how can there be one right plan for living well? How can there be one final end that we all ought to seek?

To answer these questions Aristotle argued that not all desires are the same. There are acquired desires , which differ between individuals, and natural desires , which are the same for everyone. Acquired desires—say for caviar—are things we want , whereas natural desires—say for food—are things we need . Acquired desires or wants correspond to apparent goods ; things that appear good because we want them. Natural desires or needs correspond to real goods ; things that are good for us whether we want them or not.

With these considerations in mind, Aristotle states that the good life consists in the possession, over the course of a lifetime, of all those things that are really good for us. Moreover, what is really good for each of us corresponds to the natural needs that are the same for all of us. Thus what is good for one person is good for another; in other words, there is a right plan for living well. What are these real goods that we should all seek to obtain in order to live well? According to Aristotle, they are:

1) bodily goods – health, vitality, vigor, and pleasure; 2) external goods – food, drink, shelter, clothing, and sleep; and 3) goods of the soul – knowledge, skill, love, friendship, aesthetic enjoyment, self-esteem, and honor.

The first two types of goods are limited goods —we can have more of them than we need. Goods of the soul are unlimited goods —we cannot have more of them than we need. But surely the knowledge of the good life isn’t sufficient to actually living a good life? I may know, for example, that drinking alcohol is bad for me but do it anyway. So how do we learn to desire these real goods?

Aristotle argued that the way to bridge the gap between knowledge of the good life and actually living it was through the development of a good moral character . And this entails developing good habits . A good habit allows us to perform certain actions without effort. We can have a good habit for playing the piano, studying hard, hitting golf balls, or thinking well. We can also habitually make good choices to avoid overeating or drinking too much.

Aristotle calls good habits excellences or virtues . Virtues of the mind are intellectual virtues ; while virtues exemplified by a regular disposition to choose correctly are moral virtues. For Aristotle, wisdom is the most important intellectual virtue but moral virtue plays a special role in living well. The reason moral virtue—the habit of making the right choices—is so important is that our choices determine whether we live well. In other words, if we make too many bad choices we will live poorly.

So we need to develop the good habits or virtues which help us obtain what is really good for us, as opposed to bad habits or vices which lead us toward things that merely appear good. Good habits or moral virtues are the principal means to having good lives because they allow us to habitually make the choices that both constitute and lead to good lives.

The most important moral virtues or habits are moderation, courage, and justice . Moderation keeps us from overindulging in pleasure or seeking too much of the limited goods. Courage is having the disposition to do what it takes to live a good life, and justice is the virtue that allows us to have friends and enjoy the benefits of cooperation.

However, both knowledge of the good life and good habits may not be enough to ensure that we have good lives because living well is not completely within our control. Why? First, some real goods, like wealth or health, are not completely within our power to possess. And second, we didn’t create the initial conditions of our birth or the environment into which we were born. Thus moral virtue, while necessary, doesn’t guarantee a good life. We also need to be fortunate or lucky. But if we are wise, morally virtuous, and fortunate we will likely have good, meaningful lives. 1

Postscript – Aristotle’s Politics

Finally, while possessing both virtue and luck gives us a good chance of having good lives, of being happy, it doesn’t completely guarantee it . Why? Because the quality of our lives also depends in large part on the quality of our society and government . It is exceedingly hard to have good lives in societies with bad governments despite our best efforts, and no amount of virtue and good fortune completely compensates for a tyrannical or despotic government. Put simply, we have a much better chance of living good, happy, and meaningful lives in societies with good governments than we do in societies with bad ones. 

So what is the end, goal, or purpose of the state? Aristotle says the purpose of the state is to provide the conditions under which all its citizens can flourish. This implies that some governments are better than others—good governments fulfill their purpose whereas bad ones either fail to help or actively hinder their citizen’s chances of living well. Just as a bad family doesn’t care for its children’s well-being, a bad government ignores the well-being of many of its citizens. We have a right to expect more.

In fact, we have a right to expect that the state uses its power to provide the conditions under which all its citizens can flourish. However, a just government cannot guarantee that we will attain moral virtue or have good lives, that is up to us . Nevertheless, a good or just government can and should provide the conditions under which living well, a good life, or human flourishing is possible, thereby alleviating much of the injustice caused by misfortune or bad luck. 2

______________________________________________________________________

1 This essay owes much to my reading, almost forty years ago, of Mortimer Adler’s Aristotle for Everybody: Difficult Thought Made Easy , and to trying to make Aristotle accessible for generations of college students. 2 Obviously there are other threats to living a good life that Aristotle wasn’t aware of such as climate change, nuclear war,  asteroids, and more. 

Share this:

46 thoughts on “ aristotle on the good life ”.

Appreciate your comments.

Aristotle? John Messerly?

Due to external environment,we acquire external desires,which becomes our own desires…. Everybody starts chasing their desires, leaving moral values Only a TRUE saint can lead a desire less life…with natural needs…

Terrific summary – most eloquent I have read in years.

thanks for the comment, and I do believe that Aristotle offered good advice on this. – JGM

I echo James and Anom…this is an excellent essay that makes me want to learn more about Aristotle. I was particularly intrigued by the emphasis on developing good habits as the key to living a good life. Yes, that is clearly “common sense” and easily dismissed as “old advice”. But in our current society, we are awash with an overabundance of habit-forming products and devices – some good and some bad. We almost need lessons in how to develop good habits and avoid developing bad habits amid this sometimes overwhelming overabundance. First and foremost, parents and grandparents need to reflect on Aristotle’s philosophy and examine all the habits they have developed as they simultaneously work to instill good habits in their children and grandchildren.

Of all the many things I’ve taught in philosophy classes through the years I have always thought this was some of the simplest yet most profound.

good presentation

That is a good article

Very helpful article for a law student, encountering Aristotle for the first time!

Appreciate your comment. JGM

I was reading “The burn out Society” by Byung-Chul Han, Korean-born German philosophy teacher, in Berlin. He refers to Aristotle and “the good life” several times, and I felt that I needed a refresher course on the topic, “googled” it, and this article popped up at the top of the list : Magic of the Internet! I found it excellent, concise, limpid; the best I read for a long time. I shall start the day happily equipped with renewed clarity. Another step into my ‘good life’.

I shall make sure to recommend this article to friends and students. Many thanks.

ps: However I don’t get the last sentence of § 12:”If we make too many bad choices we will not live poorly”. Surely, too many bad choices lead to an impoverished life, no?

thanks for catching the mistake. fixed it. JGM

1st year Classics student, I found this a very helpful and well written summary! Thank you

thanks for thanking me.

Terrific explanation John – can I suggest: 1. that “opportunity”, both socio-economic and personal, describes “fortunate” very well 2. “purposeful actions” – might translate appropriately today as worthwhile projects by a right plan that builds sustainable societies and good lives

So much thought went into these writings that its value just increases with every layer peeled back…

Thanks much for the comments, very insightful. JGM

this is so helpful! thank you so much, this is exactly what I have been looking for!!

Thanks. JGM

Who is the author of this article? He explained it very well.

I’m the author of all 800+ articles on the site.

John Messerly

THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENT CONCERNING GOOD LIFE CF ARISTOTLE

Of these universal goods should we seek to acquire the limited goods first, (in moderation so as to live morally & virtuously). Then once we are satisfied with our possession of these first 2 categories of goods, ought we try and obtain the goods of the soul in order to maximise well being? What’s your take on what needs prioritising? Also is pleasure a good in itself? My view is that it isn’t because it comes as a reward to us as we are reaching fulfilment and when we fulfil our desires (climax) via our activities in which the goal is to obtain other goods. Thank you for an interesting article.

Aristotle does believe that the unlimited goods are superior but I assume he also believed that you need to acquire the limited goods as a prerequisite to having the chance to acquire those unlimited goods (as in Maslow’s hierarchy.) I don’t remember his specific views on pleasure, sorry. JGM

Thanks for your sharing. I read the World Happiness Report 2018 and got interested in Aristotle’s good life theory. Your sharing gave me more ideas about the relationship between good life and happiness. Thanks!

thank you. JGM

I enjoyed reading your article how would you say a well known person of history (Martin Luther King) lived a good life going by Aristotle’s definition?

reader’s have any thoughts

• Pingback: Martin Seligman and the ‘official’ birth of positive psychology – Think Psychology

Is this page reliable and trustworthy for a timeline on Aristotle

So glad to see this,I find this so helpful in my coming exams in Social and poilitical philosophy

Thank you for the brief information yet very helpful! 💗

Aristotle was truly brilliant–I am slowly and laboriously going through his Nicomachean Ethics–have been for the last 10 years….. I disagree with his saying that all actions have an end of producing happiness–I think they have an end of terminating suffering and transforming suffering into Joy…….

Thanks for your great article–I have read Aristotle ‘s Nicomachean Ethics—I don’t agree with everything he says–I feel Epictetus is more accurate–“Some things are up to us, and some are not” Happiness or Virtue cannot necessarily be exactly portrayed, it varies by person, circumstances, and skill

please sir according to the Nicomacheam Ethics, is the good relative to Aristotle?

Good material. You stated what Aristotle said but you didn’t give references to the primary sources. That would be helpful for those of us who want go back to Aristotle’s work. But good info.

Brilliant article! how would you reference it ?

Messerly, John (19 December 2013). “Aristotle on the Good Life”. Reason and Meaning.

is there any way you can offer sharing via email?

not sure, have to ask my wife who is the webmaster.

Very interesting as a historical piece but this goes to show how dated Aristotle’s ethics is in this day and age. He was a product of his time and his ethics wasn’t timeless.

Compare Aristotle’s outdated humaistic notion of the person to the latest posthuman moral rationalism which is relevant now and will become more relevant into the future:

https://www.academia.edu/60656070/Purism_Logic_as_the_basis_of_morality

Hello there, I was just leaving a comment about how much this article has changed my life. After reading this beautiful peice of writing I understand why im here in this world. I have written a school essay about this and i got an A plus all because of you.

Your kindess regards, G@ng$t@63.

I would like to thank the author of this for writing such helpful information for my school project. I can now write about life with this.

King regards, Thesigmaontop

Thanks for this piece of work really helped me get a new car a new wife and kids this is how much this article has helped me thanks

Your kindess regards: G@ng$t@62

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Notify me of new posts by email.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed .

Death and Dying: How to Accept the End of Life Ideas Research Paper

Undoubtedly, nowadays, people have to deal with some significant challenges. However, the fundamental problem—people must deal with death—has never altered. One of the most challenging concerns an adult must deal with is understanding death. The researchers emphasized that only some of these stages were possible for humans to go through at that point. Some contend that losses, grieving, and people’s unique life experiences are different, and there cannot be universal stages. Family members frequently express their grief in different ways after a loss. Families may become closer after experiencing grief, or they may become more distant. While knowing about death and how it impacts one’s family can help one get through the challenging times together, no one can adequately equip one to handle their sadness. Family members experience loss in various ways and at different times. It can take a long time to recover from a bereavement; for example, it could take years to get used to losing a spouse. When a parent dies, children may experience sadness in fits and starts over several years.

In lifetimes, humans experience losses of various kinds and magnitudes. While some of these losses are small and barely influence people sharing them, others are significant and cause great pain. The ways that people deal with grief, death, and dying differ from one country to the next, depending on culture, local traditions, religion, and personal beliefs. In some cultures, before going to the funeral home, neighbors, friends, and relatives assemble to pray, sing, and share memories (Anderson, Sanders, and Kinnair 17). It is crucial to understand loss better, grieving, and how to manage sadness to deal with the losses covered in the following chapters. Compared to the more emotional and private grief process, mourning is more external, cultural, and public. Wearing black clothing during mourning to signal to the public that one is grieving and is emotionally wounded is one of the rituals observed in some cultures when someone is in mourning.

Loss-related grief hurts and is frequently intolerable, and it can be challenging to maintain a good outlook on life when one is in pain. If one searches for it, grief does have a bright side, and loss can lead to numerous types of growth. One can observe signs of growth as a result of going through complex events months or years after the mourning experience once one has healed from the emotional sorrow. As a result of unpleasant circumstances, some people can observe beneficial improvements. It might be difficult for dying people to express their feelings to friends and family. Waves of robust and challenging emotions, including great sadness, emptiness, despair, shock, numbness, guilt, or regret, may be experienced when a loved one passes away. They could be incensed at the manner of their loved one’s passing, with their hatred directed at themselves, other loved ones, or any outside influences.

In conclusion, everyone has unique feelings and perspectives regarding death and dying. The social environment significantly affects attitudes and ideas regarding topics of death. Different civilizations have different funeral rites and hold different customs and beliefs regarding the afterlife. Numerous theories suggest that everything may be viewed from various angles and explain how death is perceived differently in other civilizations. When a significant loss is imminent, it is essential to develop a perspective on death and have the ability to make an objective determination about one’s sentiments.

Anderson, Elizabeth, et al. “ The nature and benefits of team-based reflection on a patient death by healthcare professionals: A scoping review .” Journal of interprofessional care, vol. 33, no. 1, 2019, pp. 15–25. Web.

• Children's Growth and Development
• The Impact of Entrepreneurship Programs on Children’s Development
• Cultural Differences in Grieving: Common Emotions and Different Traditions
• Rosetti’s “The Woodspurge” and Freud’s “Mourning and Melancholia”
• Healthy Grief: Kübler-Ross, Job, and Buddhist Stages of Grieving
• Adolescence as a Period of Social Development
• COVID-19 & Early Childhood Cognitive Development
• Adolescent Development and Age-Related Issues
• Friendship and Peer Networking in Middle Childhood
• Infants' Differential Social Responses to Beauty
• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

IvyPanda. (2024, January 2). Death and Dying: How to Accept the End of Life Ideas. https://ivypanda.com/essays/death-and-dying-how-to-accept-the-end-of-life-ideas/

"Death and Dying: How to Accept the End of Life Ideas." IvyPanda , 2 Jan. 2024, ivypanda.com/essays/death-and-dying-how-to-accept-the-end-of-life-ideas/.

IvyPanda . (2024) 'Death and Dying: How to Accept the End of Life Ideas'. 2 January.

IvyPanda . 2024. "Death and Dying: How to Accept the End of Life Ideas." January 2, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/death-and-dying-how-to-accept-the-end-of-life-ideas/.

1. IvyPanda . "Death and Dying: How to Accept the End of Life Ideas." January 2, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/death-and-dying-how-to-accept-the-end-of-life-ideas/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Death and Dying: How to Accept the End of Life Ideas." January 2, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/death-and-dying-how-to-accept-the-end-of-life-ideas/.

• To find inspiration for your paper and overcome writer’s block
• As a source of information (ensure proper referencing)
• As a template for you assignment

IvyPanda uses cookies and similar technologies to enhance your experience, enabling functionalities such as:

• Basic site functions
• Ensuring secure, safe transactions
• Secure account login
• Remembering account, browser, and regional preferences
• Remembering privacy and security settings
• Analyzing site traffic and usage
• Personalized search, content, and recommendations
• Displaying relevant, targeted ads on and off IvyPanda

Please refer to IvyPanda's Cookies Policy and Privacy Policy for detailed information.

Certain technologies we use are essential for critical functions such as security and site integrity, account authentication, security and privacy preferences, internal site usage and maintenance data, and ensuring the site operates correctly for browsing and transactions.

Cookies and similar technologies are used to enhance your experience by:

• Remembering general and regional preferences
• Personalizing content, search, recommendations, and offers

Some functions, such as personalized recommendations, account preferences, or localization, may not work correctly without these technologies. For more details, please refer to IvyPanda's Cookies Policy .

To enable personalized advertising (such as interest-based ads), we may share your data with our marketing and advertising partners using cookies and other technologies. These partners may have their own information collected about you. Turning off the personalized advertising setting won't stop you from seeing IvyPanda ads, but it may make the ads you see less relevant or more repetitive.

Personalized advertising may be considered a "sale" or "sharing" of the information under California and other state privacy laws, and you may have the right to opt out. Turning off personalized advertising allows you to exercise your right to opt out. Learn more in IvyPanda's Cookies Policy and Privacy Policy .

An official website of the United States government

Here's how you know

The .gov means it’s official. Federal government websites often end in .gov or .mil. Before sharing sensitive information, make sure you’re on a federal government site.

The site is secure. The https:// ensures that you are connecting to the official website and that any information you provide is encrypted and transmitted securely.

Making Decisions for Someone at the End of Life

Addressing a person’s advance care wishes

If the person has written documents as part of an advance care plan , such as a do not resuscitate order, tell the doctor in charge as soon as possible. If end-of-life care is given at home, you will need a special out-of-hospital order, signed by a doctor, to ensure that emergency medical technicians, if called to the home, will respect the person’s wishes. Hospice staff can help determine whether a medical condition is part of the normal dying process or something that needs the attention of health care personnel.

For situations that are not addressed in a person’s advance care plan, or if the person does not have such a plan, you can consider different decision-making strategies to help determine the best approach for the person.

Decision-making strategies: Substituted judgment and best interests

Two approaches might be useful when you encounter decisions that have not been addressed in a person’s advance care plan or in previous conversations with them. One is to put yourself in the place of the person who is dying and try to choose as they would. This is called substituted judgment. Some experts believe that decisions should be based on substituted judgment whenever possible. Another approach, known as best interests, is to decide what you as their representative think is best for the dying person. This is sometimes combined with substituted judgment.

These two approaches are illustrated in the stories below.

Joseph and Leilani’s story

Joseph’s 90-year-old mother, Leilani, was in a coma after having a major stroke . The doctor said damage to Leilani’s brain was widespread and she needed to be put on a breathing machine (ventilator) or she would probably die. The doctor asked Joseph if he wanted that to be done. Joseph remembered how his mother disapproved when an elderly neighbor was put on a similar machine after a stroke. He declined, and his mother died peacefully a few hours later. This is an example of the substituted judgment approach.

Ali and Wadi’s story

Ali’s father, Wadi, is 80 years old and has lung cancer and advanced Parkinson’s disease. He is in a nursing facility and doesn’t recognize Ali when he visits. Wadi’s doctor suggested that surgery to remove part of one of Wadi’s lungs might slow down the course of the cancer and give him more time. But, Ali thought, “What kind of time? What would that time do for Dad?” Ali decided that putting his dad through surgery and recovery was not in Wadi’s best interests. After talking with Wadi’s doctors, Ali believed that surgery, which could cause additional pain and discomfort, would not improve his father’s quality of life. This is an example of the best interests decision-making approach.

If you are making decisions for someone at the end of life and are trying to use one of these approaches, it may be helpful to think about the following questions:

• Have they ever talked about what they would want at the end of life?
• Have they expressed an opinion about someone else’s end-of-life treatment?
• What were their values and what gave meaning to their life? Maybe it was being close to family and making memories together. Or perhaps they loved the outdoors and enjoyed nature. Are they still able to participate in these activities?

If you are making decisions without specific guidance from the dying person, you will need as much information as possible to help guide your actions. Remember that the decisions you are faced with and the questions you may ask the person’s medical team can vary depending on if the person is at home or in a care facility or hospital. You might ask the doctor:

• What might we expect to happen in the next few hours, days, or weeks if we continue our current course of treatment?
• Will treatment provide more quality time with family and friends?
• What if we don’t want the treatment offered? What happens then?
• When should we begin hospice care ? Can they receive this care at home or at the hospital?
• If we begin hospice, will the person be denied certain treatments?
• What medicines will be given to help manage pain and other symptoms? What are the possible side effects?
• What will happen if our family member stops eating or drinking? Will a feeding tube be considered? What are the benefits and risks?
• If we try using the ventilator to help with breathing and decide to stop, how will that be done?

It is a good idea to have someone with you when discussing these issues with medical staff. That person can take notes and help you remember details. Don’t be afraid to ask the doctor or nurse to repeat or rephrase what they said if you are unclear about something they told you. Keep asking questions until you have all the information you need to make decisions. If the person is at home, make sure you know how to contact a member of the health care team if you have a question or if the dying person needs something.

It can be difficult for doctors to accurately predict how much time someone has left to live. Depending on the diagnosis, certain conditions, such as dementia, can progress unpredictably. You should talk with the doctor about hospice care if they predict your loved one has six months or less to live.

Cultural considerations at the end of life

A person’s cultural background may influence comfort care and pain management at the end of life, who can be present at the time of death, who makes the health care decisions, and where they want to die.

It’s crucial that the health care team knows what is important to your family surrounding the end of life. You might say:

• In my religion, we . . . (then describe your religious traditions regarding death).
• Where we come from . . . (tell what customs are important to you at the time of death).
• In our family when someone is dying, we prefer . . . (describe what you hope to happen).

Make sure you understand how the available medical options presented by the health care team fit into your family’s desires for end-of-life care. Telling the medical staff ahead of time may help avoid confusion and misunderstandings later. Knowing that these practices will be honored could comfort the dying person and help improve the quality of care provided.

Discussing a care plan

Having a care plan in place at the end of life is important in ensuring the person’s wishes are respected as much as possible. A care plan summarizes a person’s health conditions, medications, health care providers, emergency contacts, end-of-life care wishes, such as advance directives, and other decisions. A care plan may also include your loved one’s wishes after they die, such as funeral arrangements and what will be done with their body. It’s not uncommon for the entire family to want to be involved in a person’s care plan at the end of life. Maybe that is part of your family’s cultural tradition. Or, maybe the person dying did not pick a person to make health care choices before becoming unable to do so, which is also not unusual.

If one family member is named as the decision-maker, it is a good idea, as much as possible, to have family agreement about the care plan. If family members can’t agree on end-of-life care or they disagree with the doctor, your family might consider working with a mediator. A mediator is a professional trained to bring people with different opinions to a common decision. Clinicians trained in palliative care often conduct family meetings to help address disagreements around health care decisions.

Regardless, your family should try to discuss the end-of-life care they want with the health care team. In most cases, it’s helpful for the medical staff to have one person as the main point of contact.

Here are some questions you might want to ask the medical staff when making decisions about a care plan:

• What is the best place — such as a hospital, facility, or at home — to get the type of care the dying person wants?
• What decisions should be included in our care plan? What are the benefits and risks of these decisions?
• How often should we reassess the care plan?
• What is the best way for our family to work with the care staff?
• How can I ensure I get a daily update on my family member’s condition?
• Will you call me if there is a change in his or her condition?
• Where can we find help paying for this care?

There may be other questions that arise depending on your family’s situation. It’s important to stay in contact with the health care team.

You may also be interested in

• Learning about different care settings at the end of life
• Finding information on advanced care planning
• Reading about palliative care and hospice care

Sign up for e-alerts about caregiving tips and resources

For more information about the end of life.

National Institute of Nursing Research 301-496-0207 [email protected] www.ninr.nih.gov/end-of-life

Association for Conflict Resolution 202-780-5999 www.acrnet.org

Family Caregiver Alliance 800-445-8106 [email protected] www.caregiver.org

Society of Critical Care Medicine 847-827-6869 [email protected] www.sccm.org/MyICUCare/Home

This content is provided by the NIH National Institute on Aging (NIA). NIA scientists and other experts review this content to ensure it is accurate and up to date.

Content reviewed: November 17, 2022

nia.nih.gov

An official website of the National Institutes of Health