how to describe a knife in creative writing

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a knife - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

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That knife was my right hand man in making our family meals. It's handle in my palm had become such a welcoming sensation.

A knife only does what it is told to do, so you be sure to give good instructions.

Why not design knives with a stopper at the end or a double handle, still great for all kitchen use but terrible for murder.

The knife carved our daily bread into generous slices, the kind that made Scooby-Doo sandwiches.

The knife had a handle of cherry wood, and so it brought pink blossom to my culinary daydreams. I would cook and be reminded of those springtime occasions beneath the prettiest of boughs.

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Stabbed or Scratched: How to Describe Pain in Writing

Think about the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. How would you have described it when you were in the moment? What did it feel like? Did it have a color and texture? Maybe even a sound or a smell? Did it make you perceive your world in different ways? Did you notice what was going on around you? 

Chances are, if you were in enough pain, you probably didn’t notice much beyond, “Wow, this hurts.” It might be after the fact when you start to think more about how pain affects the body and the mind. Although the weird thing about pain is the body is designed to forget it—otherwise no one would ever have more than one child–so it can be hard to recall what exactly it felt like. 

Incidentally, my worst pain was probably giving birth to my son. The epidural had worn off, and it was too late to do anything about it. He was coming, and it was time to push. All I can remember are bright lights, screaming (not sure if that was me or my husband), and a lot of people surrounding me because things weren’t going very well and my little guy was stuck. 

If I had to give it a color, it would have been white or light blue for the lights and uniforms of the medical personnel. If I were giving it a texture, I would say it was smooth, simply because everything was just passing me by like I was sliding through a tunnel until that moment of absolute relief when the worst of it ended with a healthy baby boy placed in my arms. 

When it comes to writing about the pain your characters experience, you need to walk a fine line between taking your reader along to feel that pain without beating them over the head with it (which would also be painful).

With all that in mind, let’s talk about how to describe pain in your writing. In this article, we’ll go over:

• Challenges of writing pain
• Tips for writing about pain
• A list of pain descriptions you can use in your writing

Challenges of Writing Pain

Of course, one of the challenges of writing about pain is that everyone experiences it differently. What might feel like off the charts pain for one person might just be another day in the life of someone who lives with a chronic illness. A splitting migraine for you might feel like a normal headache to your neighbor. 

We also express pain in different ways. Some people try to suppress it and pretend they’re absolutely fine, while others will make sure you know about every single ache and stitch they’re experiencing. Multiple times. And of course, there are the majority of people who will fall somewhere in between. 

The other challenge with writing pain is that it can feel like a real drag to read paragraphs of how much something hurts. 

Consider the following paragraph…

“She dragged herself up as needle-sharp bolts shot through her shoulder, her teeth clenching so hard her jaw ached. Her body trembled and sweat dripped down her forehead as she groaned. When she inhaled, another flash of pain had her seeing double as her head throbbed and her arm felt like it had been cut in two. She stumbled, clutching her flaring limb as her vision went dark and waves of agony seared through her body.”

OKAY, enough already. 

She hurts, we get it. 

You can see from that paragraph how easy it is to go from describing pain in your character to inflicting pain on your reader. It’s a fine line that, like anything, you can get better at with practice.

Tips for Writing About Pain

And of course, to help you out, we’ve got some tips to make it even easier to learn the intricacies of writing about pain. 

Consider the pain level

Not all pain is created equal and some will impact your life in large ways, while others will be nothing more than a minor inconvenience. You can divide your character’s pain into four categories:

• Mild/minor/low: This is the kind of pain that is a little annoying but doesn’t hamper you. A mild headache or a sore muscle. Use words like pinch, sting, stiff, sore. 
• Moderate/medium: This is a higher level of pain that doesn’t debilitate but still  distracts your character from a task or breaks their concentration. Here, you might use words like ache, throb, or flare. 
• Severe/high: This is a type of pain that prevents your character from doing pretty much anything. It’s the kind of pain that will have them laid up in bed. Consider words like anguish, stabbing, or torturous. 
• Obliterating/extreme: This, of course, is the kind of pain that will have your hero writhing on the ground, unable to think of anything else, even pushing away thoughts of how to actually stop it. Think of words like shredding, twisting, knifing, or ripping. Ouch. 

You can also consider the injury and what kinds of pain would result, such as:

• Getting stuck with a pointed object like a sword or tree branch: pricking, drilling, penetrating, stabbing, piercing
• Getting cut with an object like a blade or knife: slicing, cutting, lacerating, sharp
• Having something tear like a muscle or a joint: pulling, wrenching, tearing
• Getting crushed by something heavy like a stone or piece of a crumbling building: pressing, crushing, tight, squeezing, heavy
• Getting whipped or lashed by magic or a whip: whipping, searing, lashing, lacerating
• Getting burned by cold or hot things like fire or ice: scalding, burning, aching, tingling, freezing, numbing, scalding
• Getting attacked by some kind of magic or curse: cruel, vicious, torturing, twisting, writhing

Less is sometimes more

Remember above when we talked about how it can be a drag to read endless paragraphs about how much your character hurts? With that thought in mind, keep your descriptions tight and resist the urge to wax on for too long about it. 

Conversely, if your character just got shot or got a knife in the gut, don’t forget about the pain a moment later. A serious injury doesn’t just magically disappear (unless you’ve created your world that way) just because the action is picking up. Sprinkle in gentle reminders that the injury is still present and affecting your character’s ability to get to their goal. 

After the fact, don’t forget to also allude to it from time to time as they’re recovering. If they’ve been seriously injured, then they’re bound to feel pain as they heal, too. But as we’ve mentioned, keep it brief and treat it with a light hand. Just a mention here or there to weave it into the details with the rest of your story. 

Show, don’t tell

Oh man, not this again. But yes, with pain, this rule is even more important. Don’t tell us it hurts. Tell us what it feels like. If your character has just been stabbed, talk about how it feels like an iron hot poker has just been shoved through their gut. If they’re being crushed by a heavy object, talk about how they’re having trouble breathing. If they’re being tortured, talk about the way they’re trying to detach from the pain and send their mind into protection mode. 

Give your pain consequences

There should be a consequence for the pain, otherwise what’s the point of hurting your character? (There is one exception to this that I’ll talk about in a minute.) Think about what the pain prevents them from doing. If they’ve been stabbed, can they rescue the handsome prince from the tower? 

Think about how much you want pain to play a role in your story. Do you want your reader to believe your character might not make it? Using pain as a plot device is an effective way to drive up the stakes and is a great way to show that “end of the world” moment for your down-on-their luck character. 

Give your character chronic pain

Chronic pain is something many people live with and yet, we don’t tend to see it represented that often in books. Chronic pain can come in the form of a disease or disability, or something like chronic migraines. How you choose to portray that pain and what you do with it is up to you. 

I mentioned above that not all pain needs to serve a purpose, and this is where chronic pain comes in. It doesn’t need to stop the character from doing anything, but it can be used to show how it affects their life, simply because that’s how people sometimes live. And it definitely doesn’t need to be “cured.” In real life, it rarely is, so for a character to simply exist with this as a part of their day to day is perfectly fine.

In fact, the trope of “healing a disability” is one that’s fallen out of favor and can actually be considered problematic. If you do choose to write about chronic pain or disability, be sure to get yourself a sensitivity reader to ensure you aren’t leaning into negative stereotypes or harmful tropes. 

Research your ailments

Pain is one of those things you want to get right. While you can get away with a lot in fiction, especially if you write speculative fiction, pain and injury are pretty universal ideas. 

If one of your characters gets shot or knifed in the stomach in one scene and they’re making dinner plans and heading to the gym in the next, your readers are going to give you the side eye. 

Yes, it’s fiction and the pain tolerances of fictional characters can be different from real life people, but within limits. 

If you’re writing a fantasy creature that heals quickly, that might be one way to overcome an extreme injury. Or maybe you’re writing a thriller with a Jack Ryan-type hero who would never let a little bullet wound get in his way. 

But for most, breathing, living characters, getting their arm nearly hacked off is going to take them down. Make sure you’re exercising realistic limits of pain tolerance.

The blog Script Medic is a great place to start where a medical professional breaks down various injuries for writers. It’s a great way to get information without filling your search history with things the FBI might investigate you for.

Pain Descriptions

Here are some words and phrases to help you describe pain in writing. Obviously, this isn’t an exhaustive list, but this should help get you started:

• A pale complexion
• Arching of the back
• Avoiding others
• Begging to die
• Biting a bottom lip
• Blacking out
• Blotchy skin
• Blurred vision
• Body going into shock
• Calling for help or aid
• Clenched hands and limbs
• Clenching or grinding of teeth
• Dark hollows under the eyes
• Darkness in the corner of vision
• Dragging one foot
• Drinking excessive alcohol
• Drooping eyelids
• Eyes squeezed shut
• Flinching at contact
• Gingerly moving about
• Glassed over eyes
• Gripping another person for help
• Haggard expression
• Hands gripping clothing
• Hanging on to the wall or furniture for support
• Hunched shoulders
• Hyperventilation
• Impatient gestures
• Limp arms, legs, hands, or fingers
• Looking away
• Mouth hanging open
• Nostrils flaring
• Praying to gods of deities
• Repeating oneself
• Rocking or swaying back and forth
• Rubbing areas of pain
• Sawing breaths
• Short, panting breaths
• Shuddering breaths
• Standing still
• Starbursts or floaties in the eyes
• Stilted gait
• Sweat on the brow
• Taking medication
• Tapping the foot
• Taste of blood or copper in mouth
• Tears or wet eyes
• Tentative steps
• Tight muscles and limbs
• Walking stiffly
• Watering eyes

By now, you’re hopefully a bonafide expert on the art of writing pain. As with anything, make sure you’re reading lots of books where pain is described. It can help you see what works and, maybe more importantly, what doesn’t. If you’re reading a book and the character’s pain is starting to feel like a drag, then that’s a good sign the author has taken it too far. 

But if you find yourself aware of the pain, but not distracted by it, then that’s a sign they’ve done their job well. 

If you found this article useful, be sure to visit our growing database of articles at DabbleU . We’re adding new ones every week to help you become your best writing self. We even make it super easy for you and send you all our latest tips, advice, and tricks when you sign up for our weekly newsletter . 

Nisha J Tuli is a YA and adult fantasy and romance author who specializes in glitter-strewn settings and angst-filled kissing scenes. Give her a feisty heroine, a windswept castle, and a dash of true love and she’ll be lost in the pages forever. When Nisha isn’t writing, it’s probably because one of her two kids needs something (but she loves them anyway). After they’re finally asleep, she can be found curled up with her Kobo or knitting sweaters and scarves, perfect for surviving a Canadian winter.

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How to Describe a Sword Fight in a Story

By A.W. Naves

Are you writing a battle scene in your novel? Would some pointers on how to describe a sword fight in a story help you? Continue reading and see how you might use the following 10 words in your book .

1. Clashing

Description.

Colliding, crashing ; striking against one another.

“The clashing warriors drew their swords and charged forward.”

“The clashing of steel filled the air as the two warriors engaged in combat.”

How it Adds Description

The word “clashing” adds a vivid description of the sound of the swords colliding and emphasizes the intensity of the fight. It relates a sense of violence, intensity, and danger, as the fighters are engaged in a struggle to overpower each other with their weapons. It may also suggest chaos and a flurry of motion that is exciting for the readers.

Countered, evaded ; deflected an opponent’s attack.

“He parried the enemy’s strike with ease, sidestepping with eloquence.”

“The skilled swordsman deftly parried every attack thrown his way.”

The word “parried” involves a sense of skill and expertise in the fight, highlighting the character’s ability to defend themselves in battle. It indicates that the fighters are engaged in a defensive maneuver, in which they deflect or block their opponent’s attacks using their own sword, painting a vivid picture of the fighters’ movements and pace.

3. Thrusting

Propelling, driving ; a quick and forceful stab.

“He continued thrusting his sword forward in quick movements as he danced around his opponent.”

“The warrior’s relentless thrusting attack caught the would-be kidnapper off guard, leaving him mortally wounded.”

The word “thrusting” implies an aggressive and potentially deadly movement aimed at penetrating an opponent’s defenses and inflicting a serious wound. It conveys a sense of urgency, danger, and skill, as the fighter is attempting to deliver a decisive blow to their opponent with a precision that is intended to do mortal damage.

The swift, cutting movement of a sword.

“Sir Tenet narrowly avoided the blade slicing through the air toward his face.”

“The quick slicing of the sword left his torso shredded into a neat row of bloody ribbons.”

The word “slicing” suggests the menace of the sharp blade. It specifies the action of a blade cutting through the air or through an opponent’s body. It implies a swift, clean cut that requires precision and skill. It can also indicate the speed and agility of the fighters, as they move quickly to avoid or deliver a slicing blow.

Leaped forward ; a sudden and powerful forward movement.

“The warrior lunged forward, sword raised, to protect his King from harm.”

“With a deft move, she lunged at him in a determined counterattack.”

The word “lunged” emphasizes the speed, agility, and risk-taking required in a sword fight, as it leaves a fighter vulnerable to quick retribution if it misses its mark. It helps the reader visualize the action of the fight and understand the strategy of the fighter, as a lunge can be used to close the distance between fighters or to surprise an opponent who may not be expecting an attack.

6. Feinting

A deceptive or fake attack intended to distract or mislead an opponent.

“He started by feinting a high attack, then quickly switched to a low strike.”

“The experienced swordsman saw through his opponent’s feinting tactics and reacted quickly.”

The word “feinting” adds a sense of strategy and cunning to the fight, highlighting the character’s ability to outsmart their opponent. This gives depth to the fighters’ actions and motivations, highlighting their ability to read and outmaneuver their opponents. By using feints, a fighter can make their attacks more unpredictable and surprise their opponent, giving them an advantage.

A quick return attack made after successfully parrying an opponent’s attack.

“The knight’s riposte was so swift and precise that the thief barely had time to recover from his parry.”

“The dark stranger executed a riposte that left the King lying dead before his Queen.”

This word “riposte” highlights the importance of quick thinking and precise execution in a sword fight. It helps to paint a dramatic picture of the action, allowing the reader to imagine the fighter’s movements more clearly. It also adds a layer of strategic thinking and technique that contributes to a more nuanced and dynamic portrayal of a sword fight.

A one-on-one fight between two individuals, often to settle a dispute or prove one’s honor.

“The two knights engaged in a fierce duel , their swords ringing out with every strike.”

“The honor of both families was at stake in the upcoming duel, and tensions were running high.”

This word “duel” signifies a more formalized, often ceremonial fight between two individuals. It communicates the personal aspect of the sword fight, highlighting the fact that the outcome of the fight may have significant consequences for the characters involved. It can also give historical and cultural context to the fight, as duels are no longer a common practice.

9. Flourish

A showy and decorative movement made with a sword.

“The swordsman performed a flashy flourish , twirling his sword in the air before striking.”

“With a quick flourish of her sword, the princess disarmed her mysterious assailant.”

This word “flourish” emphasizes the theatrical aspect of a sword fight. It suggests that the fighters are not just using their swords as weapons, but are also displaying their skill and style. It can convey a sense of the fighters’ confidence and bravado, as well as the visual spectacle of the fight and personal showmanship.

Brawl, skirmish ; A chaotic and violent free-for-all.

“The tavern erupted into a wild melee as swords were drawn and fists flew.”

“With a roar, the soldiers charged into the melee, their swords flashing in the sunlight.”

This word “melee” eludes to the chaotic and unpredictable nature of the fight. Unlike a one-on-one duel, it involves numerous fighters and can quickly spiral out of control, with swordsmen coming at each other from all sides. This adds a sense of danger and urgency to the fight, as the combatants have to constantly be on guard against attacks from unexpected directions.

Writing About Cuts, Scrapes, and Bruises

If a character gets into a fistfight, chances are, they’re going to end up with a few nasty bumps and bruises. Likewise, tripping on asphalt or accidentally grabbing a sharp object could also result in your character looking a little worse for wear. 

There are infinite ways for characters to injure themselves over the course of a story, and their injuries could range from a mild papercut to a life-threatening wound. What’s more, injuries have a way of cropping up in all genres, from action and horror to slice-of-life and coming-of-age stories. If you aren’t prepared to write about even the small bumps, bruises, and gashes your characters experience, your readers will notice.

There’s a lot that goes into portraying realistic injuries in writing. You need to make sure you understand how injuries look, feel, and progress, and your characters might need to know a thing or two about basic wound care. If you don’t know what you’re talking about, or all your knowledge about injuries comes from anime, your injury scenes might make readers roll their eyes. But don’t fret—you’re here for a reason, aren’t you? 

This article is going to be a short one, but it is designed to give you an overview of the basics you’ll need to know to write about most cuts, scrapes, and bruises.

A word of warning: some language and descriptions may be upsetting if you are sensitive to blood, gore, or violence. Read at your discretion. 

How to Describe Cuts, Scrapes, and Bruises in Writing

When you’re describing what a wound looks like, it can be easy to get caught up in the details. Rather than trying to describe exactly how it looks, though, try to focus on the details that will give readers an indication of how serious the wound is. 

How to Describe Cuts and Scrapes

The first thing you should know about any injury (but especially those in which the skin breaks) is that it will immediately begin to swell up. Blood rushes to the area to accelerate the healing process, and that makes the skin around the wound look red and swollen, and it will feel warm (though not hot ). 

Additionally, most wounds aren’t going to bleed as much as you’d expect, though there are a few exceptions to this. Head wounds bleed much more than wounds elsewhere on the body, and if the character has been drinking or exercising recently, their wounds are going to bleed more.

When describing a cut or scrape, don’t go describing how red and wet it looks. Your readers will know about that already. Instead, try to give indications of how severe the wound is. How wide is the injury? How far does it stretch across the character’s body? Can bone be seen? Is blood seeping into their clothes or pooling underneath them? Is it a clean slice, or is it torn open? Have parts of the flesh been pulled away? How much does the wound frighten the injured character and the others witnessing the scene?

In most cases, you shouldn’t overthink this description. Injuries happen fast and are often treated quickly, so unless the injury is particularly significant, don’t waste a lot of time giving readers all the gory details. If you’re writing in first-person, your character might not even be able to look at the wound anyway, let alone examine it. 

How to Describe Bruises

Bruises are fairly straightforward to describe. They are simply splotches of discoloration where blood has pooled under the surface of the skin following a blunt injury. The most important thing to keep in mind, of course, is the fact that bruises will change color over time.

• When the injury is first sustained, it will look swollen and red.
• Over time, the bruise will darken to a shade of blue, purple, or black.
• After that, it will gradually turn yellow or green.
• Then it will turn brown and eventually fade away.

There is no specific timeframe for when bruises change colors, however. Some bruises may stay purple for the majority of the healing process, then quickly cycle through the other colors before fading completely. Others may stick around as faint brown splotches for a long time after sustaining the initial injury. Therefore, the color of a bruise cannot be used to estimate when the bruise was sustained any more specifically than “recently” or “a while ago.”

When describing bruises, it’s also important to keep in mind that the words you use can impact the way readers perceive the situation. For example, describing a bruise as a “contusion” creates a violent connotation, while “blemish” doesn’t sound so harsh. Describing bruises as  “discolored” or “shadows” comes with a more melancholy connotation. If you want to get more poetic, you can describe bruises like watercolors or sunset clouds, but be aware that language like that inherently romanticizes the injury (or the injured character), so be mindful of when you do this. 

How to Describe What Cuts, Scrapes, and Bruises Feel Like

The way a minor injury feels is going to depend on its location, and how it was sustained. An injury from blunt trauma, such as a bruise, is going to feel dull, and like it’s throbbing. It will feel stiff and firm from the swelling, and it may sting if touched. As the bruise ages, it may feel tender and sore, but only when pressure is applied or the area is moved.

A wound from a sharp object, however, is likely to feel hot, tingly, or numb. The pain may be delayed, but after the initial rush of adrenaline wears off, the pain from this type of injury will be fairly constant. If the injury was sustained on a part of the body that moves, such as the face or a joint, then it may cause sharper, more sudden pain when that body part is moved. 

Scrapes tend to feel hot and itchy, and the scab from a nasty scrape can cover a wide area. It will also get itchier as it heals, motivating the character to pick at it and delay healing. 

How Cuts and Major Wounds are Treated

Bruises sustained from mild trauma require no treatment and heal fine on their own.

Most cuts and scrapes must only be cleaned, disinfected, and covered with a bandage, but there are situations in which more extreme measures must be taken.

When a character sustains a major injury, the first and most important thing to worry about is blood loss. If the character is losing too much blood, they may go into shock , which can be deadly. Either the character themself or another character should apply pressure to the wound with a clean, absorbent cloth, such as a towel or sheet. At this point, stopping the bleeding is more important than sanitation, so if all the characters have to use is a sweaty shirt they pulled off someone, they should use it. 

Once the blood begins to clot and is no longer gushing out of the character, the wound will require stitches. Depending on the character’s situation and the genre of your story, a professional to give them stitches might be hard to come by. Many action heroes can be seen stitching up their own wounds, while those in dystopian or criminal settings may turn to a shady back-alley doctor to fix them up. Once a wound has been stitched up, it can be covered like normal. However, the stitches can’t stay in forever. Depending on the severity of the wound, your character should get those stitches out again anywhere between 3-14 days later. 

It’s important to mention that if your character continues on their journey without taking the time to heal, they could run into complications. If their bandage gets wet, for example, you should have them replace the soggy bandages to make sure their wound stays clean. If someone pats the character on the shoulder, not knowing there’s an injury hidden under their shirt, the character is going to flinch or make a noise from the pain of their injury being touched. 

Your readers might find it odd if your character covers a wound and then never acknowledges it again, after all. Don’t let basic treatment make wounds disappear magically (unless, of course, magic is involved). 

How Long it Takes Cuts, Scrapes, and Bruises to Heal

The time it takes an injury to heal is going to depend on the severity of the injury. As a general rule, however:

• Bruises take about 2 weeks
• Scrapes take about 1 week
• Minor cuts take about 2 weeks
• Surgical incisions and sutured wounds take about 4-6 weeks
• A bad wound that doesn’t get stitches could take up to 3 months

As long as there are no complications, your character will be good-as-new in just a few weeks. However, their age and health influence how fast they heal, as does the weather, and many other factors. If the wound becomes infected, that could significantly extend the time it takes for the character to heal. 

Some Parting Thoughts on Writing About Cuts, Scrapes, and Bruises

Before you injure one of your characters (even minorly), you should consider why exactly you want to harm them. Are you adding tension to a scene? Do you want to push two characters closer together? Do you want to toy with readers’ (and characters’) emotions? Do you need something to stop a character from continuing on this part of their journey? Do you need to foreshadow something worse happening in the future? 

If you can’t come up with one good, plot-related reason to injure a character, then you might want to reevaluate the scene you have prepared. An injury without purpose is just a way of boring readers and writing yourself into a corner. Everyone loves a bit of angst in their stories, but don’t just maim your characters for the hell of it. Give their injuries meaning, and the scenes will become much more impactful additions to the story as a whole. 

Good luck, writers!

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How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain

February 9, 2017 by ANGELA ACKERMAN

The best thing about this online world of ours is you never know who you are going to meet. I don’t know about you, but one of the areas I struggle with is writing a character’s pain in a way that is raw, realistic…but not just “one-note.” So when I crossed paths with a paramedic-turned-writer, I got a little excited. And when she said she’d share her brain with us about the experience of pain, and how to write it authentically, I got A LOT excited. Read on, and make sure to visit Aunt Scripty’s links at the end. Her blog is full of more great medical info for writers.

Writing About Pain (Without Putting your Readers in Agony)

Pain is a fundamental part of the human experience, which means that it’s a fundamental part of storytelling. It’s the root of some of our best metaphors, our most elegant writing. Characters in fiction suffer, because their suffering mirrors our own.

In good writing, physical suffering often mirrors emotional suffering. It heightens drama, raises the stakes, adds yet another hurdle for our hero to jump before they reach their glorious climax.

So why can reading about pain be so boring?

Consider the following (made-up) example:

The pain shot up her arm like fire. She cringed. It exploded in her head with a blinding whiteness. It made her dizzy. It made her reel. The pain was like needles that had been dipped in alcohol had been jammed through her skin, like her arm had been replaced with ice and electricity wired straight into her spine.

For your characters, at its worst the pain can be all-consuming.  For your readers, though, it can become a grind. Let’s be honest, you gave up reading that paragraph by the third sentence.

In another story, a character breaks his ribs in one scene, then has, uhhh, intimate moments with his Special Someone in the next. Where did the agony go‽

There’s a fine line to walk between forgetting your character’s pain, elucidating it, and over-describing it.

So I’m here today to give you a pain scale to work with, and provide some pointers on how to keep in mind a character’s injuries without turning off your readers.

How Much Does It Hurt? A Pain Scale for Writers

Minor/Mild: This is pain that your character notices but doesn’t distract them. Consider words like pinch, sting, smart, stiffness .

Moderate: This is pain that distracts your character but doesn’t truly stop them. Consider words like ache, throb, distress, flare .

Severe: This is pain your character can’t ignore. It will stop them from doing much of anything. Consider words like agony, anguish, suffering, throes, torment, stabbing .

Obliterating: This is the kind of pain that prohibits anything else except being in pain (and doing anything to alleviate it). Consider words like ripping, tearing, writhing .

Metaphors, of course, are going to play somewhere on this spectrum, but I would suggest picking one level of pain and targeting it. For instance, don’t  mix stinging with searing when finding a metaphor to build.

How Often Should We Remind Readers of a Character’s Pain?

Most pain that matters in fiction isn’t a one-and-done kind of deal. A gunshot wound should burn and itch and ache as it heals. A broken bone should send a jarring blast of lightning into the brain if that bone is jostled or hit.

Injuries need to have consequences. Otherwise, what’s the point?

There are three main ways to remind a reader of your character’s suffering: show them suffering, show them working around their suffering, and a third, more advanced, technique that I’ll mention in a moment.

If you want to show their pain, the easiest way is to tell : “her shoulder ached”; “she rubbed her aching shoulder”; “she rolled her shoulder subconsciously, trying to work out the aching stiffness” all convey what we want.

For frequency, try to limit those mentions to once per scene at the most, and perhaps as rarely as once per chapter.

However, we can choose something closer to the show route, by watching the character work around their injuries: “she opened the door awkwardly with her left hand to avoid the burn on her right”; “she led each step on the staircase with her good leg”; “Martin fiddled with his sling irritably”. That can be a little more frequent. It’s a reminder, but it’s also a small challenge that they’re solving before your very eyes. Huzzah!

For a breakdown of possible conflict scenarios that can lead to your character experiencing pain, go here .

One Final Technique: The Transmission of Agony

My best friend is a paramedic. She’s also had spinal fusion, has multiple slipped discs, and takes a boatload of pain medication. And yet I can see how much pain she’s in when we work together by the way she walks, talks, and carries herself.

Her pain isn’t constant. It changes . It ebbs and flows like the tide. It can be debilitating in one minute and bearable the next. So, too, can the agony of your characters:

“The agony had faded to a dull throb.”

“The pain in my shoulder ramped up from stiffness to searing, blinding agony faster than I could blink.” 

“ And, just when the pain was at its worst, it dissipated, like fog off some terrible lake .”

Go forth. Inflict suffering and woe upon your characters!

If I can offer one more piece of wisdom, it’s this: research the injury inflicted upon your character. At the very least, try to get a grasp on what their recovery might look like. It will add a level of realism to your writing that you simply can’t fake without it, and remind you that they should stay injured beyond the length of a scene.

Looking for a deep dive on pain, and how to describe minor, major, mortal, invisible injuries and more? This series on How to Write About Pain is a huge help.

Aunt Scripty is a veteran paramedic and author of the ScriptMedic blog at scriptmedicblog.com . In just three short months, her blog has attracted several thousand followers and accidentally started a writing advice blog revolution on Tumblr .

She lives in an undisclosed location with her beautiful wife and imaginary pibble, Steve, and can be found @scriptmedic on Twitter. If you’re not careful, she’ll sneak up on you in a dark alleyway and give you a free ebook .

Angela is a writing coach, international speaker, and bestselling author who loves to travel, teach, empower writers, and pay-it-forward. She also is a founder of One Stop For Writers , a portal to powerful, innovative tools to help writers elevate their storytelling.

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Reader Interactions

October 4, 2021 at 7:08 am

This post is so timely! One of my MC’s suffers with chronic pain from an automobile accident, and I am portraying him using several ways to alleviate it, such as opiates, alcohol, weed. He also has manic depression. Can you direct me to specific resources regarding how such a person “rehabs’? I have him entering a holistic facility, but I’m also wrestling with whether he can ever come off the other stuff completely. Because, they work, even if temporarily. I feel like pain mgt is so poorly understood and not done well for most folks. And the judgment! I have a pharmacist friend who was loathsome of people desperate to get their opiate scripts filled, calling them “street trash.” Any help portraying my guy accurately “healing” would be most appreciated!

October 4, 2021 at 10:20 am

Hi, Ellen. I’m so glad this resource is helping you with your WIP. It sounds like you’re got a good handle on exactly what your character is suffering with, which is important for getting the information you need. To find that information, I would suggest speaking with a doctor. You can talk to your own physician the next time you go in or even put out a call on social media for doctors or nurses who might be willing to answer a few questions about your character’s situation. I’ve found that people love talking about what they do and their areas of specialty and as long as you’re respectful of their time, you can usually get a professional’s feedback for free.

Best of luck to you!

March 10, 2021 at 10:19 am

Ok so my character is being tortured and she got kicked HARD in the chest but I can’t find a good verb to describe how she went back. I also can’t find a way to describe the pain she felt.

November 29, 2021 at 3:45 pm

Probably start with her not recognizing the pain because of the Adrenaline and then explain how the pain escalates… “The pain exploded in her stomach; the dull ache turned into a searing pain” Just some stuff I’ve seen authors do.

March 1, 2021 at 5:16 pm

I have a character that is badly beaten, (injuries consist of the standard bruises and cuts, she has a rather large gash over one eye, and has also been flogged. she has managed to escape her captors only to loose her footing in a pothole and fall to the ground, she cracks a rib in the process.) she is fortunate that a passer by finds her and takes the time out to clean her up ( he is a surgeon) my issue is describing the wounds as he treats her injuries. I’m trying not to put to much description here at this point as she feigns amnesia and he counters her lies with her injuries. i don’t want to repeat myself if that makes sense.

Many thanks in advance.

February 3, 2021 at 2:30 am

My Character is being hunted by a man and finds out that its the same man that killed her mother. How do I describe the pain that this will cause her to feel?

February 4, 2021 at 2:32 am

Now, I’m not a therapist, and what you’re talking about is an emotional wound more than anything. But you’re probably going to want to start with the processing of shock; denial and numbness to kick things off, as the brain struggles to even process the information Next, this is going to rip open any hurts surrounding that loss, which I’d expect she never got proper closure for in the first place if he’s still at large to keep hurting her/her family; that’ll mean a reliving of the grief, and whatever predominant emotions she has left around it (was she mainly angry at the loss? Did she blame the killer more, or did someone else’s choices put her mother in the killer’s path? Was she left lost and confused, did she feel trapped, were there any things she used to find pleasure in that lost their joy due to associations following the event?) your character’s primary coping mechanism? (Everyone has them, don’t lie.) Does she throw herself into projects looking for distractions? Does she get angry and lash out? Does she hide her hurts away from the world? Depending on how she’d normally handle such a horrifying discovery, the knowledge someone’s actively out to get her might deny her that small comfort, which will exasperate the issue even further. Finally, does she know what this killer wants? Do you? Why is he specifically after her? Why did he kill her mother? Can she hide in a crowd, or will reaching out put the people she cares about in danger? These questions should help you identify the TYPE of pain she’ll be feeling (boiling anger might keep the actual hurt at bay until the problem is dealt with, while self-imposed/protective loneliness can drive someone into a depressive spiral) from whence physical descriptions can be relatively easily found by looking up psych studies or other advice articles. (To stick with those two examples, anger is hot, clouds in the head and fists, can induce very similar symptoms of crying such as a tight throat or burning eyes; meanwhile, that kind of loneliness tends to be cold and clear-eyed, hard to choose but frightfully easy to maintain with a forced smile and a quick deflection, and leaves you feeling listless and hopeless while struggling alone.) It comes down really heavily to the type of person your character is, how she copes with adversity and how she copes with loss. No one but you is deep enough in her head to really know what kind of reaction this’ll induce in her, so no one but you can know what kind of reaction you should be describing. I’ve never been in the situation you’re describing, but I’ve dealt with several intentional deaths before (mostly suicides,) and looking around the room for weeks after the fact, not one person was processing the same emotions at any given point in time. Death and grief are messy, even more so when death and/or pain were the intended outcome of the events. And beyond the simple fear for one’s own life (which once again, everyone would deal with differently; both actually trigger fight-flight-freeze in us, grief just takes a brief stop at “oh shit, I feel vulnerable” before turning INTO fear on the way) those are the associated emotions she will have with this man.

February 4, 2021 at 9:06 am

I think MSF has answered your question nicely, Aldre. It truly does depend on the person (their personality, backstory, support system, what other difficulties they’re dealing with, etc.), since different people respond to the same wounding event differently. So doing the background work on your character to really get to know them is super important in figuring out their response.

January 1, 2021 at 3:40 pm

quick Q: how would one care for a stab wound to the left side of the abdomen, directly under the ribs? its a classic fantasy setting, taking place in approximately the middle of the medieval age, and it is a healer treating them, i’m just not sure what exactly he would do, and other websites aren’t the most useful at the moment. thanks:)

January 2, 2021 at 10:56 am

You might want to visit Scriptmedic’s site listed in the post as she has many different scenarios at her site which might help answer this question. 😉

January 3, 2021 at 2:13 am

thank you:)

November 3, 2020 at 6:55 am

my characters have all gone through something that has changed them , the way they think , the way they do things and their judgment in general. but what I’m basically struggling to do is tell their stories in a way that relates to what the story is about which based on what my characters went through that caused them pain and in a way that will convince readers to want to continue reading and continue to want to get the readers to want to get to know each character better

October 17, 2020 at 8:14 pm

I’m writing a story that sets the “Snow White” fairy tale in the modern world and in my version, she eats a candy apple laced with a paralytic drug. What should the actress be displaying upon ingesting it?

October 19, 2020 at 8:29 am

Hi, Marie. It’s good that you’re looking for ways to write this response accurately, since we always want our stories to read as realistic and authentic to readers. I’m unschooled in paralytic drugs and their effects, so you’ll need to research this. A Google search can get you started and help you find some credible sources. You also could talk to doctors own nurses who may be able to give you some good information. Good luck with your story!

June 21, 2020 at 10:09 pm

Here’s a problem I’ve run into:

Character A has been seriously injured in a hostile environment. Character B —a setting-appropriate medic/healer— discovers A and attempts to save A’s life. Functionally, this is a non-combative action scene (a short but vital moment, every choice and instinct raised to the highest stakes, no time/ability to get outside help, this is where the music-director in a movie puts the really intense bits of the score, etc) BUT as a writer, I now have to convey A’s injuries and B’s emergency examination/assessment, how/why this is such a big deal, the moment B chooses (consciously or not) to attempt to save A despite any/all risks, and at least a PORTION of how that treatment is applied, since, you know, the fight to save A’s life is the meat of the scene… without killing the pacing by stopping dead and becoming a textbook. Cutting away to A’s recovery, I’ve found, is good for building up B’s mysteriousness, but risks downplaying the injuries and leaving the audience confused about their repercussions (especially if B tries to comfort A by obfuscating just how serious it was.) Showing B’s struggle to save A’s life is a great character-defining moment for B and gives payoff to the initial trauma, but risks descending into jargon if the steps aren’t explained. Describing A’s injuries in detail really conveys the serious danger A is in, but also brings the momentum to a shrieking halt; keeping the injuries vague once again risks downplaying/confusion.

No one on the internet has written about this problem that I can find; it’s either advice on writing fight scenes, advice on writing injuries (even though emergency treatment is part of dealing with that, right?), or advice on writing actual medical documents.

Challenge modes include: • A is unconscious [and cannot contribute dialogue.] • A and B have never met [this is a character introduction scene.] • B’s healing abilities are beyond current science (either magical or tech,) and have their limits established/reinforced by this scene. [The audience must understand some basic rules of this ability by the end of the scene.] • Scene is from B’s perspective, [meaning B has experience/context the audience might not.] • This is one of your opening scenes, [so you don’t have much time for setting up context before it starts.]

BONUS ROUND! • Be a dumbass like me, and use all challenge modes at once! …Someone please help me…

May 13, 2020 at 10:03 pm

How would you describe someone being in pain because someone they loved was hurting? I am basically transcribing a TV show for my blog/website and one character is being forced to listen to her grandmother dying (On tape) at the hands of a sadistic “Angel of death” They are both handcuffed to a poll so he’s frustrated he can’t physically save her and he’s screaming to get the guy to stop because he’s torturing the woman he loves and he can’t stop him. He just screamed for the angel of death to stop and my heart skipped a beat. It was just well done. He’s trying to get out of his handcuffs. I am not a writer, at all. I usually just transcribe and post screencaps but because this scene would be difficult to do that I am trying to describe what is going on and I don’t have the talent for that.lol Thanks 🙂

May 4, 2020 at 3:33 pm

My character is an animatronic. He’s been captured and tortured by being destroyed and he barely has enough strength to stay conscious. How can I describe his pain?

Sorry if this isn’t a very good question.

May 7, 2020 at 7:28 pm

I would say something along the lines where he could feel his metal structure being torn apart slowly. He probably would have dents in his structure if his body if fully metal. If he has fur/skin/feathers etc with blood and bodily organs like living animals, I would take notice on blood seeping out of wounds, as well as bruises. I’m not the best with animatronics hope this helped fellow writer 😀

November 3, 2020 at 6:33 pm

Thank you! Yes, this helped a bunch!

(Sorry for the late reply-)

March 17, 2020 at 2:52 am

How should I describe someone falling on their back?

March 20, 2020 at 1:04 am

We talking falling from a height?

I’d say winded, it would probably take a few seconds to catch their breath again. Seeing as it’s sorta a heavy feeling of a “Thunk” I would try not so much to describe the pain, but get the reader to relate maybe by describing how hard the surface is so that the reader can infer by their own experience that it hurt. Describe it to make the reader feel uncomfortable or want to rub their back at the thought of it.

You could say that the pain is sudden and maybe include a whip lash effect of their head throwing back and how it pulls up from their shoulders in sudden pain. Maybe some teeth jitters from the head trowed back.

I don’t know that’s a hard one.

February 11, 2020 at 1:58 pm

So in my story there are two times that my main protagonist experiences physical pain. The first would be closer to a physical attack; punched, kicked, the whole nine yards that could be classified as physical abuse. As for the 2nd time, it’s a split second decision as she runs over towards someone to protect them from harm and in turn my protagonist ends up getting stabbed through the chest. I’m having a bit of a hard time describing the sensation from the protagonist’s perspective during the 2nd time of being injured.

March 20, 2020 at 12:52 am

Hello there! I’m quite young and I’m only really here for help with a school thing. I have had personal experience with shock like situations and nerve damage so I figured I would give you some pointers.

Shock is really strange and it honestly takes a lot longer then you would think for your brain to process the situation. Seeing as it’s a split second situation I see this coming into play. Before you understand the full situation you tend to try and move around or look to see what happened to the best of your ability because your body is going through completely unfamiliar sensations. Attempting to move only to then find a sudden pain or you are unable to move as a whole.

As for pain my situation was directly nerve based. Lot’s of numbness and stinging, think someone hammering your funny bone except it shoots throughout your whole body. Seeing as it’s in the chest I would turn to throbbing pain of her heartbeat. The sharp pain comes afterwards when it sinks in and you try your best to move. Shaking is also very important. Think adrenaline and anxiety, your body goes into shock so the thought process isn’t too great. Not a lot of speaking either, it’s hard to make up any sort of conversation.

Passing out because of pain isn’t uncommon either, even more so at the sight of their own blood.

When I was going through shock I asked a bystander to tell me a story to try and distracted myself from the sharp tingly pain and the muscle spasms. Don’t know if any of that helps but I figured I’d say it anyways

January 29, 2020 at 11:27 pm

This was some really helpful information to know! It did help me cover with the light stuff, but I was wondering for times where the scenarios get really gory?

As if the character were to get stabbed, how should it be expressed?

Also, how would it be like if the character just woke up from a coma?

Last question! Do you have a separate page for writing out battle scenes?

November 9, 2019 at 4:42 am

How can I show pain from burning? Like someone was forced to literary walk on fire. I don’t know how to show it to readers. Help please!!!

November 9, 2019 at 12:44 pm

Tara, have a look here: http://www.scriptmedicblog.com/?s=burns

September 10, 2019 at 11:47 am

In my story i am the 1st person and someone is paralyzed because if my ignorance and now he is in the hospital so how should i write that i am in utter despair and agony. And i want him to forgive me. Can you pls help i want a really nice description on that😊

September 10, 2019 at 11:51 am

And yeah i want a description on inner and spiritual pain but not on physical pain. I would really appreciate if someone help me! Thanks

September 10, 2019 at 11:54 am

what you’re looking for is the Emotional Wound Thesaurus: https://writershelpingwriters.net/the-emotional-wound-thesaurus-a-writers-guide-to-psychological-trauma/

September 10, 2019 at 11:57 am

Hi there, as I mentioned in the other comment, you’ll want to dig into the character’s emotional wounds and think about how their behavior will be unique to the character and the situation they are in. The Emotional Wound thesaurus can help with that. For setting description, you’ll want to look at the Urban Setting Thesaurus where it contains different hospital settings and the sensory description to go with them so your setting seems realistic. (Sorry, I wasn’t sure which area of description you meant you were struggling with here.)

April 23, 2019 at 10:23 am

What is the body language of someone in extreme pain?

One of the characters in my work is, for a bunch of reasons: mute. The only way that she can communicate with my POV character is through actions and body language. She’s been injured so badly that, if not for magic she would be dead in seconds, but she’s conscious, unable to scream.

I’ve described her injuries (with words like ‘mangled’ and ‘twisted’, and descriptions of shards of bone poking out where her knees should be), but I really want to hammer home the nightmarish nature of her situation. Magic is involved, healing magic in the setting is not simple or even kind.

April 23, 2019 at 10:37 am

Hi Steve, One of the Amplifiers in our ebooklet, Emotion Amplifiers is “Pain.” That might help you? https://writershelpingwriters.net/emotion-amplifiers/

January 27, 2019 at 9:45 pm

Thank you so much! This was very helpful but am wondering about how to write about an infection?

January 28, 2019 at 9:15 am

Ryan, I would advise you to do some research on the kind of infection so you’ll know what it looks like and how the character will physically respond. You could also talk to medical practitioners for practical information. Best of luck!

January 28, 2019 at 11:48 am

Also, if you go to the site of this guest poster, you’ll see she had more articles on different types of injuries and how to write them, so I would be shocked if she didn’t have something on infections. Just poke around and I’m sure you’ll find some help there. 🙂

January 1, 2019 at 9:18 pm

I have write a character who as cut their feet on rocks and branches. Luckily I have not experienced that first hand, but that makes it hard to write about.

The character is running away for danger and can’t stop to address his injury. I really don’t know how to describe how that feels, and what it does to the body.

Do you think you could help me with some descriptive words?

I would appreciate it,

Cheers, Bella

November 5, 2018 at 2:29 pm

How do describe a flying elbow to the stomach?

November 5, 2018 at 3:07 pm

Hi, Hayden. While I’m thankful this has never happened to me, it unfortunately doesn’t give me any reference for answering your question. But I do remember times when I’ve had the wind knocked out of me and when I have been knocked painfully by someone else. You’ve probably experienced these things too; use those memories to write about how it would feel. Think about things like localized pain, but what other physical sensations it may trigger, like nausea, losing one’s breath, or what happens to the person if the impact causes additional pain, such as them falling down or stumbling backward and hitting their head, etc.

August 8, 2018 at 11:05 pm

My character fell on his face. Not scraping his palms, just his face.

June 23, 2018 at 11:34 am

How would you write a character who is unable to feel pain? (Or hunger, thirst, tiredness, etc.) This is not congenital insensitivity, this is a light fantasy setting where this is paired with moderately increased endurance as a power/mutation. The character in question is a 12 year old girl.

November 5, 2018 at 3:12 pm

Hi, Georgia. I’m sorry, but I’m just now seeing your comment here. For this, you’ll have to show, through the character’s response, that they’re not feeling pain, and whether or not this is normal for her. For instance, you could show her being knocked down, getting up and dusting herself off, and her fingers coming away bloody. Maybe she’s gashed her leg or impaled it on something, and she didn’t notice. And now that she does, she doesn’t respond normally. Maybe she treats it like an inconvenience, bandaging it up or yanking out the offending shard of glass, then trotting off without a limp. Or maybe she consciously affects a limp because she knows that would be normal with such an injury and she wants to avoid notice. Maybe she mentally recalls that a year ago, this would have hurt like you know what, and that’s how her mutation is a blessing in disguise. The important thing here is to know your character’s state of mind regarding her mutation and having her respond accordingly so it doesn’t come off as unrealistic or explanatory to the reader. I hope I’m not too late and you’re able to use this information.

March 18, 2018 at 5:59 pm

How can I describe a knife across the face?

March 19, 2018 at 8:28 am

Hi, James. I’m afraid you’ll have to do some research on this since I’ve had no experience here. Think about times when you’ve experienced a wound to the face, or a cutting wound and apply that knowledge to your character’s situation. You may even be able to Google the question and find some information. Best of luck!

February 25, 2018 at 9:56 pm

I love causing pain to characters (but don’t do it for no reason) and I legitimately could not stop grinning unless I covered my mouth with my hand……. There’s something wrong with me. Anyway, THANK YOU for this, it’s super helpful!

November 22, 2017 at 2:32 pm

My character has a knife slash across her face. She also lives on the streets after fleeing the hospital. Expert your article helped me with: The voices blurred together, mixing into a haze through the pain as they got her to the hospital. She had gotten the impression that a simple cut would have less medical needs. Looking back on it, Ellen thought she was overwhelmed by it all. She was in searing pain, the force of it ripping through her mind like a bomb, after all.

February 17, 2017 at 4:33 pm

So helpful and timely! Thank you!

February 10, 2017 at 4:05 pm

I love this article!! I have a question. I have an alpha male hero who is an amputee. He’s been through therapy and it’s been about four years since he lost his leg. My question involves phantom pain that I’ve read a lot about with amputees. How bad does this kind of pain get in relation to your Mild, Moderate or Severe pain? I have the scene where when he wakes up and it’s throbbing and it’s swollen so he can’t put on his prothesis. I read this in another book. Is that accurate? I have him taking some pain meds. How long does it take before the pain goes away approximately? I mention that he’s been using accpuncture for the pain as well with some success. Is this even accurate??

Thanks, Janice

February 11, 2017 at 10:48 am

Hey Janice! Thanks for your question!

Phantom pain comes from a number of different causes, including damage or pressure on a nerve, especially if scar tissue is putting pressure on it.

While I’m certainly not a pain management specialist, and nothing here is to be considered medical advice — my disclaimer is here ( http://www.scriptmedicblog.com/disclaimer ) — I have a couple of great resources to send you.

The first is an article from the Amputee Coalition, talking about pain and possible treatments, here: http://www.amputee-coalition.org/limb-loss-resource-center/resources-for-pain-management/managing-phantom-pain/

WebMD has a fairly decent article here: http://www.webmd.com/pain-management/guide/phantom-limb-pain#1-4

And Mayo Clinic, my personal favorite resource on the whole wide Webiverse, has a great article here: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/phantom-pain/basics/treatment/con-20023268

It seems, from reading these sources, that a combination of medical therapy (including opioids like Vicodin / hydrocodone or Percocet / oxycodone, anticonvulsants such as Neurontin / gabapentin or Lyrica / pregabalin, or tricyclic antidepressants including amitryptaline or tramadol) and non-medical therapy (such as mirror box, applied heat, massage, and, yes, accupuncture etc of the affected leg).

You might think seizure medication or antidepressants are a strange thing to give for phantom limb pain, but they interrupt the way neuropathic pain signals are transmitted and received in the brain. Science: It’s Kinda Neat Sometimes, Huh? (TM).

There’s a GREAT TED talk that, among other things, touches on mirror box therapy here: http://www.ted.com/talks/vilayanur_ramachandran_on_your_mind?language=en

(It helps that that guy has one of the best accents I’ve ever heard in my whole life, by the way, and the talk is fascinating even before dealing with this.)

As to how bad the pain gets, I think that’s up to you to decide, though I’ve heard it *can* be severe; however, he’s been dealing with this for four years now.

Swelling of the stump is certainly possible. In fact, after an amputation, it takes weeks for the swelling to go down enough to even fit an amputee for a prosthesis! This far along it may be irritated skin, or your character may have developed an infection in the site. But just like any area, irritation breeds swelling, itching, and pain.

I hope this was useful! I’d say you’re already headed down the right track, and I would personally like to say I would LOVE to see more amputee heroes in fiction!

Best of luck with your tale.

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

February 10, 2017 at 11:34 am

Excellent post. Thank you Angela for sharing. Like you books, too.

February 9, 2017 at 8:06 pm

This is wonderful information! I find when I write about pain that I fall into the problem of trying to over share the pain of my character. When I go back to read it, I stop reading after the first two sentences (like in the example here). Thank you for sharing this! I appreciate the different levels of pain and the descriptive words to help illustrate them.

Cheers, Jen

February 10, 2017 at 12:10 am

Hi Jennifer! I’m so glad you found it helpful! I know in my own writing I’ve tended toward over-emphasizing pain, especially too early in the story.

One thing I didn’t get a chance to discuss is the idea of ramping up the pain — backing off on descriptions early so that you can maximize them later and not have it be repetitive. It’s the difference between a low-level ache in the shoulder when your character gets out of bed and the ripping, tearing agony when they tear their rotator cuff at the worst possible moment in the story. It’s not always appropriate, but in general, ramping up your character’s pain to mirror scene tension can be an excellent tool if done well.

Good luck with your stories!!

February 9, 2017 at 5:12 pm

Very informative particle. Thank you for sharing.

February 9, 2017 at 11:16 am

Thank you for addressing this problem! It’s very useful information.

February 9, 2017 at 10:41 am

Hey Angela! I just wanted to say thanks so much for having me on the blog, and I hope this post has been helpful for your readers. It’s great to appear on such a fantastic blog!

February 9, 2017 at 1:35 pm

So glad to have you. This info is a great help to many writers. 🙂

February 9, 2017 at 9:48 am

Hi Angela: Thank you so much for Posting and for sharing Aunt Scripty’s Post and website. I’ve signed up for her Newsletter and look forward to using the Resources that she offers.

February 9, 2017 at 7:23 am

Wonderful information and ideas.

[…] Resources:How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain10 Methods to Make Your Character […]

[…] writers find pain difficult to write about, at the risk of downplaying their characters’ pain. However, unless some plot device in the […]

[…] Resources: How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain 10 Methods to Make Your Character […]

[…] there! This is a part of a series on pain and suffering in writing. Part 1 of the series, Writing About Pain (Without Putting Your Readers in Agony), appeared on the eminent and excellent blog WritersHelpingWriters. Thanks again to Angela for […]

[…] How To Accurately Write About Your Character’s Pain – WRITERS HELPING WRITERS® […]

[…] Check out Writing About Pain (Without Putting Your Readers in Agony) here! […]

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Discussions about the writing craft.

How would I go about describing a throwing knife entering someone's throat?

How would I? I've had a couple of ideas, but all are too simple and don't include enough descriptions. So, my MC threw this knife hard, I mean so hard that the person and his ancestors before him felt the knife hit them. The knife entered through the front, right under his chin pretty much. Hope that stuff helps, I greatly appreciate any help if someone has some ideas! :D

(also, here is a link to the knife I'm talking about https://www.123rf.com/photo_8765367_traditional-medieval-hand-forged-celtic-throwing-knives-isolated-on-white-.html )

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BRYN DONOVAN

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Master List of Ways to Describe Fear

People have been asking me for this list for such a long time! If you write horror, suspense, mystery, or any kind of fiction with a scary scenes, you need to know how to describe fear.

This list can get you started. It’s a lot of phrases describing fear, including physical reactions, physical sensations, facial expressions, and other words you can use in your novel or in other creative writing.

I’ve included some that can work for uneasiness or anxiety, but most of these are for real terror. You can alter them to fit your sentence or your story, and they’ll likely inspire you to come up with your own descriptions.

Bookmark or pin this page for your reference—it might save you a lot of time in the future. I’ll probably add to it now and again!

fear paralyzed him

his terror mounted with every step

she fought a rising panic

fear tormented her

her heart was uneasy

her heart leaped into her throat

his heart hammered in his chest

his heart pounded

terror stabbed his heart

his heart jumped

her heart lurched

a fear that almost unmanned him

his body shook with fear

she trembled inside

he suppressed a shiver

panic surged through him

her fear spiked

he was in a complete state of panic

she could feel nothing but blind terror

his legs were wobbly with fear

she sweated with fear

his hands were cold and clammy

she was weighed down by dread

dread twisted in her gut

his stomach clenched

fear fluttered in her stomach

her belly cramped

he felt like he might throw up

she was sick with fear

she was frightened down to the soles of her shoes

he was icy with panic

her body went cold with dread

raw panic was in her voice

her voice was thick with fear

his voice was edged with fear

terror thundered down on him

fear caught her in its jaws

fear clawed up her throat

terror sealed her throat

fear gripped her throat

his throat tightened

then she knew real terror was

he was frantic with fear

she was half mad with terror

the color drained from her face

his face was ashen

she blanched

dread gnawed at his insides

dread had been growing in him all day

fresh terror reared up within her

fear choked him

terror stole her words

he was mute with horror

her voice was numb with shock

his voice was shrill with terror

her defiant words masked her fear

her body felt numb

his blood froze in his veins

terror coursed through her veins

fear throbbed inside her

his panic fueled him

adrenaline pumped through his body

adrenaline crashed through her

fear pulsed through him

her scalp prickled

the hairs on the back of her neck stood up

his mouth went dry

his bones turned to jelly

her bones turned to water

she froze with horror

he didn’t dare to move

terror struck her

he was too frightened to lift her head

she was too frightened to scream

his mouth was open in a silent scream

he cringed with fear

she cowered

he shrank back in fear

she flinched

a bolt of panic hit her

terror streaked through him

her terror swelled

his panic increased

anxiety eclipsed his thoughts

panic flared in her eyes

his eyes were wild with terror

her eyes darted from left to right

she feared to close her eyes

he lay awake in a haze of fear

she walked on in a fog of fear

his eyes widened with alarm

she tried to hide her fear

he struggled to conceal his shock

fear crept up her spine

fear trickled down her spine

panic seized his brain

she felt a flash of terror

fear took hold of him

fear flooded through her being

she ordered a drink to drown the panic

he arranged and re-arranged the items on his desk

a nameless dread engulfed him

I bet you came up with other ideas as you were reading!

For more writing lists, check out my book Master Lists for Writers , if you don’t have it yet! A lot of writers use it to make writing go faster, especially when it comes to descriptions.

And if you’re not following the blog already, sign up below—I share lots of writing resources. Thanks so much for reading, and happy writing!

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30 thoughts on “ master list of ways to describe fear ”.

Thank you, Bryn. I can certainly use this list as I go through and clean up my novel. There are some places that need a stronger element of fear.

Hi Bonnie! So glad this was coming at the right time! 🙂

Love the book and the above list! Thank you for taking the time to compile all of it. So appreciated!

Oh thank you! I’m so glad you like it!

I just love your lists. I often refer to them when I’m stuck. That book is right next to the dictionary and thesaurus when I write.

I’m so glad you like them, Erin! I’m honored. 🙂

I was searching for the perfect list to describe fear. I stumbled across your blog and I am glad that I did, you literally saved my butt out there!!? I got an A* because of you ! Thankyou!!❤❤

Aww, I’m so glad to hear this! 🙂

Thanks for compiling this list. Much needed.

Aw thanks, Ezekiel! So glad you like it!

What a terrifying, fantastical list. Thank you, Bryn

Haha, thanks, Bryan! When I read back over it, I did feel a little creeped out. 🙂

I have a scene coming up that this will be perfect for. Thank you for sharing. Bookmarking now!

Hi Sarah! So glad it’ll be useful! Sounds like you have an exciting scene coming up 🙂

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This is a great list! Thank you, Bryn.

Wow! When I read it, I was SO / COMPLETELY creeped out!???

Ha! You know what, when I make these lists, I always start feeling the emotions, too!

I’m thankful for your help. It is great to see these lists. Many blessings ❤️

I have been a bibliophile since long, but never before did I read so many blogs in a sequence. I am really amazed to have found them.Thanks a ton . Superb work .

You saved my life ! Thank you a lot ???

So glad to hear that! Happy writing 🙂

Thanks… It’s good to know tath someone is making life easier for those interested in writing.

ohhh ,how grateful i am for this list it will come in handy so thankyou

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Thank you so much for this list! It is exactly what I was looking for. I ordered the book 🙂

Thanks for ordering the book, Laila. I hope you like it! And glad this list worked for you!

This is an amazing list. I saw in your other comment that you have a book…?

I wanted to tell you that I often return to this page when I am stumped coming up with a way to write some specific reaction. Sometimes I just use one of the ideas you offer directly, and other times something here gives me an idea I riff off of to create something new. Thank you so much for compiling this list!

I riffed this time (last line): “Still feeling the sadness of Manzoa’s fate and wondering what this place was and why he was here, Goff cautiously walked over to the desk. A quill still wet with thick black ink rested next to a sheet of parchment filled with writing in a language he couldn’t read. Crude drawings made with heavy strokes were set within the words. Some of them were disturbing — a bleeding hand cut open with a knife and a person floating lifeless below a ghoul with black eyes poised to attack. He stared at the words, hoping that just like when he traveled back in time to Monstraxen, he would be able to understand them. As he stared, the ink on the page disappeared like water soaking into a sponge. A spider of panic crawled up his spine.”

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What Is Creative Writing? (Ultimate Guide + 20 Examples)

Creative writing begins with a blank page and the courage to fill it with the stories only you can tell.

I face this intimidating blank page daily–and I have for the better part of 20+ years.

In this guide, you’ll learn all the ins and outs of creative writing with tons of examples.

What Is Creative Writing (Long Description)?

Creative Writing is the art of using words to express ideas and emotions in imaginative ways. It encompasses various forms including novels, poetry, and plays, focusing on narrative craft, character development, and the use of literary tropes.

Table of Contents

Let’s expand on that definition a bit.

Creative writing is an art form that transcends traditional literature boundaries.

It includes professional, journalistic, academic, and technical writing. This type of writing emphasizes narrative craft, character development, and literary tropes. It also explores poetry and poetics traditions.

In essence, creative writing lets you express ideas and emotions uniquely and imaginatively.

It’s about the freedom to invent worlds, characters, and stories. These creations evoke a spectrum of emotions in readers.

Creative writing covers fiction, poetry, and everything in between.

It allows writers to express inner thoughts and feelings. Often, it reflects human experiences through a fabricated lens.

Types of Creative Writing

There are many types of creative writing that we need to explain.

Some of the most common types:

• Short stories
• Screenplays
• Flash fiction
• Creative Nonfiction

Short Stories (The Brief Escape)

Short stories are like narrative treasures.

They are compact but impactful, telling a full story within a limited word count. These tales often focus on a single character or a crucial moment.

Short stories are known for their brevity.

They deliver emotion and insight in a concise yet powerful package. This format is ideal for exploring diverse genres, themes, and characters. It leaves a lasting impression on readers.

Example: Emma discovers an old photo of her smiling grandmother. It’s a rarity. Through flashbacks, Emma learns about her grandmother’s wartime love story. She comes to understand her grandmother’s resilience and the value of joy.

Novels (The Long Journey)

Novels are extensive explorations of character, plot, and setting.

They span thousands of words, giving writers the space to create entire worlds. Novels can weave complex stories across various themes and timelines.

The length of a novel allows for deep narrative and character development.

Readers get an immersive experience.

Example: Across the Divide tells of two siblings separated in childhood. They grow up in different cultures. Their reunion highlights the strength of family bonds, despite distance and differences.

Poetry (The Soul’s Language)

Poetry expresses ideas and emotions through rhythm, sound, and word beauty.

It distills emotions and thoughts into verses. Poetry often uses metaphors, similes, and figurative language to reach the reader’s heart and mind.

Poetry ranges from structured forms, like sonnets, to free verse.

The latter breaks away from traditional formats for more expressive thought.

Example: Whispers of Dawn is a poem collection capturing morning’s quiet moments. “First Light” personifies dawn as a painter. It brings colors of hope and renewal to the world.

Plays (The Dramatic Dialogue)

Plays are meant for performance. They bring characters and conflicts to life through dialogue and action.

This format uniquely explores human relationships and societal issues.

Playwrights face the challenge of conveying setting, emotion, and plot through dialogue and directions.

Example: Echoes of Tomorrow is set in a dystopian future. Memories can be bought and sold. It follows siblings on a quest to retrieve their stolen memories. They learn the cost of living in a world where the past has a price.

Screenplays (Cinema’s Blueprint)

Screenplays outline narratives for films and TV shows.

They require an understanding of visual storytelling, pacing, and dialogue. Screenplays must fit film production constraints.

Example: The Last Light is a screenplay for a sci-fi film. Humanity’s survivors on a dying Earth seek a new planet. The story focuses on spacecraft Argo’s crew as they face mission challenges and internal dynamics.

Memoirs (The Personal Journey)

Memoirs provide insight into an author’s life, focusing on personal experiences and emotional journeys.

They differ from autobiographies by concentrating on specific themes or events.

Memoirs invite readers into the author’s world.

They share lessons learned and hardships overcome.

Example: Under the Mango Tree is a memoir by Maria Gomez. It shares her childhood memories in rural Colombia. The mango tree in their yard symbolizes home, growth, and nostalgia. Maria reflects on her journey to a new life in America.

Flash Fiction (The Quick Twist)

Flash fiction tells stories in under 1,000 words.

It’s about crafting compelling narratives concisely. Each word in flash fiction must count, often leading to a twist.

This format captures life’s vivid moments, delivering quick, impactful insights.

Example: The Last Message features an astronaut’s final Earth message as her spacecraft drifts away. In 500 words, it explores isolation, hope, and the desire to connect against all odds.

Creative Nonfiction (The Factual Tale)

Creative nonfiction combines factual accuracy with creative storytelling.

This genre covers real events, people, and places with a twist. It uses descriptive language and narrative arcs to make true stories engaging.

Creative nonfiction includes biographies, essays, and travelogues.

Example: Echoes of Everest follows the author’s Mount Everest climb. It mixes factual details with personal reflections and the history of past climbers. The narrative captures the climb’s beauty and challenges, offering an immersive experience.

Fantasy (The World Beyond)

Fantasy transports readers to magical and mythical worlds.

It explores themes like good vs. evil and heroism in unreal settings. Fantasy requires careful world-building to create believable yet fantastic realms.

Example: The Crystal of Azmar tells of a young girl destined to save her world from darkness. She learns she’s the last sorceress in a forgotten lineage. Her journey involves mastering powers, forming alliances, and uncovering ancient kingdom myths.

Science Fiction (The Future Imagined)

Science fiction delves into futuristic and scientific themes.

It questions the impact of advancements on society and individuals.

Science fiction ranges from speculative to hard sci-fi, focusing on plausible futures.

Example: When the Stars Whisper is set in a future where humanity communicates with distant galaxies. It centers on a scientist who finds an alien message. This discovery prompts a deep look at humanity’s universe role and interstellar communication.

Watch this great video that explores the question, “What is creative writing?” and “How to get started?”:

What Are the 5 Cs of Creative Writing?

The 5 Cs of creative writing are fundamental pillars.

They guide writers to produce compelling and impactful work. These principles—Clarity, Coherence, Conciseness, Creativity, and Consistency—help craft stories that engage and entertain.

They also resonate deeply with readers. Let’s explore each of these critical components.

Clarity makes your writing understandable and accessible.

It involves choosing the right words and constructing clear sentences. Your narrative should be easy to follow.

In creative writing, clarity means conveying complex ideas in a digestible and enjoyable way.

Coherence ensures your writing flows logically.

It’s crucial for maintaining the reader’s interest. Characters should develop believably, and plots should progress logically. This makes the narrative feel cohesive.

Conciseness

Conciseness is about expressing ideas succinctly.

It’s being economical with words and avoiding redundancy. This principle helps maintain pace and tension, engaging readers throughout the story.

Creativity is the heart of creative writing.

It allows writers to invent new worlds and create memorable characters. Creativity involves originality and imagination. It’s seeing the world in unique ways and sharing that vision.

Consistency

Consistency maintains a uniform tone, style, and voice.

It means being faithful to the world you’ve created. Characters should act true to their development. This builds trust with readers, making your story immersive and believable.

Is Creative Writing Easy?

Creative writing is both rewarding and challenging.

Crafting stories from your imagination involves more than just words on a page. It requires discipline and a deep understanding of language and narrative structure.

Exploring complex characters and themes is also key.

Refining and revising your work is crucial for developing your voice.

The ease of creative writing varies. Some find the freedom of expression liberating.

Others struggle with writer’s block or plot development challenges. However, practice and feedback make creative writing more fulfilling.

What Does a Creative Writer Do?

A creative writer weaves narratives that entertain, enlighten, and inspire.

Writers explore both the world they create and the emotions they wish to evoke. Their tasks are diverse, involving more than just writing.

Creative writers develop ideas, research, and plan their stories.

They create characters and outline plots with attention to detail. Drafting and revising their work is a significant part of their process. They strive for the 5 Cs of compelling writing.

Writers engage with the literary community, seeking feedback and participating in workshops.

They may navigate the publishing world with agents and editors.

Creative writers are storytellers, craftsmen, and artists. They bring narratives to life, enriching our lives and expanding our imaginations.

How to Get Started With Creative Writing?

Embarking on a creative writing journey can feel like standing at the edge of a vast and mysterious forest.

The path is not always clear, but the adventure is calling.

Here’s how to take your first steps into the world of creative writing:

• Find a time of day when your mind is most alert and creative.
• Create a comfortable writing space free from distractions.
• Use prompts to spark your imagination. They can be as simple as a word, a phrase, or an image.
• Try writing for 15-20 minutes on a prompt without editing yourself. Let the ideas flow freely.
• Reading is fuel for your writing. Explore various genres and styles.
• Pay attention to how your favorite authors construct their sentences, develop characters, and build their worlds.
• Don’t pressure yourself to write a novel right away. Begin with short stories or poems.
• Small projects can help you hone your skills and boost your confidence.
• Look for writing groups in your area or online. These communities offer support, feedback, and motivation.
• Participating in workshops or classes can also provide valuable insights into your writing.
• Understand that your first draft is just the beginning. Revising your work is where the real magic happens.
• Be open to feedback and willing to rework your pieces.
• Carry a notebook or digital recorder to jot down ideas, observations, and snippets of conversations.
• These notes can be gold mines for future writing projects.

Final Thoughts: What Is Creative Writing?

Creative writing is an invitation to explore the unknown, to give voice to the silenced, and to celebrate the human spirit in all its forms.

Check out these creative writing tools (that I highly recommend):

Read This Next:

• What Is a Prompt in Writing? (Ultimate Guide + 200 Examples)
• What Is A Personal Account In Writing? (47 Examples)
• How To Write A Fantasy Short Story (Ultimate Guide + Examples)
• How To Write A Fantasy Romance Novel [21 Tips + Examples)

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G. Anderson Active Member

Wound from a knife.

Discussion in ' Word Mechanics ' started by G. Anderson , Nov 11, 2016 .

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Hi All, So, here I am on a Friday evening writing away on my story. This story includes a scene of racist violence. And I am looking for a word for a knife wound that's more like a scratch, but 'scratch' sounds like something your child will get from the running too fast on the playground. I am thinking of something like a riff or a rift? But I can't find any info on these words online, so can any native (English) speakers help be with what word I am looking for, or perhaps you have a suggestion? It's written in British English and takes place in Bristol so American slang may be a bit out of tune with the book Thanks! Best, G. P.S. It's actually a lovely feel-good story by the end but I am only just before the middle now.  

MusingWordsmith Shenanigan Master Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Cut? I'm American, so I'm not sure, but riff or rift does not sound right for a knife wound. 'Riff' is a musical term I think. 'Rift' is a gap, but I've never heard or read it used to describe any type of wound.  

PilotMobius Active Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Instead of using a word to explicitly denote the injury, describe the pain and blood resulting from it. Otherwise, "cut" sounds about right.  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); MusingWordsmith said: ↑ Cut? I'm American, so I'm not sure, but riff or rift does not sound right for a knife wound. 'Riff' is a musical term I think. 'Rift' is a gap, but I've never heard or read it used to describe any type of wound. Click to expand...

Lifeline South. Supporter Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); I am not native, but 'gaping apart'?  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); PilotMobius said: ↑ Instead of using a word to explicitly denote the injury, describe the pain and blood resulting from it. Otherwise, "cut" sounds about right. Click to expand...

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Lifeline said: ↑ I am not native, but 'gaping apart'? Click to expand...

matwoolf Banned Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); The blade tore a slice from shoulder down to elbow. For slang you might use terms like 'Stanley,' or 'shank.' Ripped , cut, jagged...I'll think on...  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); matwoolf said: ↑ The blade tore a slice from shoulder down to elbow. For slang you might use terms like 'Stanley,' or 'shank.' Ripped , cut, jagged...I'll think on... Click to expand...

Skye Walker Banned

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Dunno if you still need help with this, but 'slash' or 'gash', or 'laceration' or something along those lines?  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Skye Walker said: ↑ Dunno if you still need help with this, but 'slash' or 'gash', or 'laceration' or something along those lines? Click to expand...

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); You're welcome! Also, http://www.thesaurus.com/ is a great resource to check out if you haven't already.  

Infel Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Was going to say "gash" also. "Slice" works, 'sever' would be the action of cutting something from a whole. Sometimes describing things vaguely leaves a pretty cool impression, too. If, for example, you say the knife wound left a "hole" in the body, you get a sort of gory picture of what it might look like.  

Mumble Bee Keep writing. Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); I think the word you're looking for is nicked.  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); G. Anderson said: ↑ Thanks, those words I have never heard of before Click to expand...

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); WNP said: ↑ If you're going to use the word gash, just be careful what context you use it in, as it can also be used as a slang reference to a woman's vagina. Click to expand...

newjerseyrunner Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2022

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); "laceration" would be what I would use and probably what a doctor would use.  

Shbooblie Senior Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); I would go something along the lines of 'slash' or 'gash' or 'cut' as others have suggested. Don't use laceration, it sounds good, but lacerations typically result from blunt force trauma rather than stabbing injuries so wouldn't be accurate.  

big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); A knife wound inflicted during gang violence in british slang would be known as a stripe - this is particularly true where it is inflicted with a double stan (that is a knife fitted with two stanley knife blades separated by a blob of bluetack - the idea being to make a wound that is impossible to stitch cleanly without leaving a scar that said this is a lot more than a scratch - its more like a slash or a gash (note that a slash is also slang for taking a piss so watch your context there)  

Denegroth Banned

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); I think there's no danger of being mistaken for using slang. If you've used slang all along, then readers will tend to err on the side of slang if they find an odd usage that could be slang. If you've attended Hemingway's "Just Say It" school of writing, then just say it; cut. A slash is deeper and longer than a cut. It would require stitches. A gash is similar to a slash. Laceration would infer a not very clean injury, so not necessarily a knife blade, unless perhaps the knife was serrated. A rift is more of a geographical, or geological term. This, all of course if you're not using slang. If you are using slang, and you don't know the slang for the various ways someone can be knifed, maybe you should rethink using slang. I somehow get the impression you aren't using it. ( It's nice to learn our cousins across the pond are getting so inventive in using blades for fun and mayhem. )  

X Equestris Contributor Contributor

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); I wouldn't use laceration. It sounds clinical, so unless it comes up in the POV or dialogue of a medical professional, "laceration" probably wouldn't fit. For something like a scratch but a bit more significant, I'd use "cut". For a worse wound, "slash" or "gash".  

Viridian Member Supporter

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Reading your posts on this thread I am thinking 'cut' is more what you are looking for. Slash is good but infers a much bigger 'cut' than I think you are referring to  

Jay Lafountain New Member

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); I think, as the title says, "wound" or "shallow wound" could work. I'd honestly go with "shallow wound", for it seems to describe well what you need. Also, you could describe the pain the character was feeling like, "agony shot through my ___ like fire", or something similar. Just some ideas  

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Denegroth said: ↑ I think there's no danger of being mistaken for using slang. If you've used slang all along, then readers will tend to err on the side of slang if they find an odd usage that could be slang. If you've attended Hemingway's "Just Say It" school of writing, then just say it; cut. A slash is deeper and longer than a cut. It would require stitches. A gash is similar to a slash. Laceration would infer a not very clean injury, so not necessarily a knife blade, unless perhaps the knife was serrated. A rift is more of a geographical, or geological term. This, all of course if you're not using slang. If you are using slang, and you don't know the slang for the various ways someone can be knifed, maybe you should rethink using slang. I somehow get the impression you aren't using it. ( It's nice to learn our cousins across the pond are getting so inventive in using blades for fun and mayhem. ) Click to expand...

googletag.cmd.push(function() { googletag.display('funpub_e8963c703e06401c2c413002bbb70151'); }); Wow, thank you all for your feedback and ideas! I think I will go with either wound or cut, as a simple term is more fitting with the rest of the tone. But if I decide to write a book on knife crime one day I will sure have a lot of ideas  

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How to Describe In Writing Castles

When you're describing a castle, consider whose perspective you're writing from. Perhaps a prince might gloss past the fine masonry but a peasant might feel awed by it. Maybe a prisoner might focus on details that are grim or foreboding. Maybe a struggling king would notice threadbare tapestries and thin cushions. 

Vocabulary to Describe Castles

Exterior Parts

• Keep : The main fortified tower
• Other towers : Including watchtowers, gatehouses, and corner towers
• Moat : A water-filled ditch surrounding the castle as defence
• Drawbridge : A bridge that can be raised or lowered
• Parapet : Protective wall at the top of a fortification
• Portcullis : A heavy, metal gate that can be lowered & raised (the metal grid thing you see go up and down in movies)

Interior Parts

• Great Hall: The heart of the castle, used for dining, feasting, and gatherings. The big room where stereotypical fantasy kings chomp on turkey legs
• Parlour : A smaller, more intimate room for conversation and relaxation
• Kitchen : Often with a large open hearth
• Pantry : A room for storing food and drink
• Larder : A cool room for preserving meat
• Buttery : For storing dairy products
• Cellar : For storing wine, ale, etc.

Where your castle’s built might impact its design, features or ambiance. For example...

Why was this castle built, initially? Castles made mainly for protection may have features like thicker walls, towering keeps, and a strong emphasis on defensive features like arrow slits, portcullises, and moats. Castles designed mostly for living (e.g. as primarily residences) might have larger and more ornate halls, comfortable living quarters, and features like gardens or chapels.

The rising sun caught each of the panes of glass and lit them like spring fire. The ivy was green and lush. The berries in the Christmas boughs were bright as battle. It was a grand and welcoming and beautiful sight, vibrant and alive. Yes, there was smoking fire in the background and walls had newly been knocked down, but it was impossible not to see that beneath that, the castle had a live and beating heart.

– Maggie Stiefvater, Bravely

This tower, patched unevenly with black ivy, arose like a mutilated finger from among the fists of knuckled masonry and pointed blasphemously at heaven. At night the owls made of it an echoing throat; by day it stood voiceless and cast its long shadow.

― Mervyn Peake, Titus Groan

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Effective techniques for describing pain

I've noticed something in writing: it's difficult to convey pain, and even specific types of pain, to an audience who's comfortably sitting at home in an easy chair.

I can hardly imagine pain until I'm injured myself, in fact. The sting of freezing never hits home until I find myself on a mountain slope. I've no problem with the situational tension, but conveying the suffering (sharp or aching, burning or freezing, immediate or escalating) seems to be harder.

What techniques can I use to really make the audience empathetic? What's proven to be the most effective? Something prose-based? Reactionary? Who writes pain extremely well?

• 3 Perhaps there are exercises that would help in this? Maybe you can also bring this to our Tuesday writing exercise chat. –  Goodbye Stack Exchange Commented Mar 18, 2013 at 16:48

10 Answers 10

Take notes when you're suffering for later use.

No really. Get into the habit of carrying something to jot down your thoughts on (phone, tablet, moleskine notebook, marbled notebook, whatever) and when you're feeling something intense, write it down. Describe it. In the moment, write down all the things you're feeling, no matter how repetitive or hallucinatory.

This will teach you (a) observational skills (b) the habit of putting nonverbal things into words. As you get better at noticing and then describing how it feels when the wind blows through your soul on a cold mountaintop, and your thighs are prickling as they turn numb and your sinuses ache dully at the bridge of your nose and your scarf is wet and slimy from the condensation of your breath and your lungs feel like they're stabbed every time you inhale, you won't have to struggle so much to come up with ways to make your reader feel the cold.

• 4 This is great advice, and brings up the benefit of describing something you know: you will be able to mention the little, highly evocative things (sinuses, etc.) that might not occur to someone who hasn't experienced the cold wind, but help everyone imagine it. –  Anna M Commented Mar 18, 2013 at 13:02
• I'll go with this answer (though I liked and appreciated everyone's comments and it's hard to pick just one-- thank you everyone!). For academic purposes, I'm adding my own thoughts as an answer as well since I've thought of new things since posing this question last week. –  ElizaWy Commented Mar 23, 2013 at 0:08
• 1 Alternatively, in the event no pain happens conveniently to you (and I hope this this is the case), talking to others might help - friends who recently broke a bone, etc. Keep in mind that recent pain is better; memory of pain can fade. –  Goodbye Stack Exchange Commented Mar 27, 2013 at 17:27
• isn't this the "show, not tell" advice? Show how your body reacts to the pain, rather than telling how you feel it? –  Ooker Commented Oct 30, 2015 at 12:56
• 1 @Ooker The problem isn't "showing" the reaction to pain versus "telling". It's showing the right reaction, the reaction that will best convey what you want the audience to feel in that moment; have you been intense enough? Subtle enough? Brutal enough? –  Loser Like You Commented Feb 7, 2017 at 23:43

I'm answering this myself as well, because after mulling it over for a week I've come up with some thoughts not yet mentioned, and I'd like to flush this topic out. Who knows-- it might be helpful.

• Let the reader handle the pain part. Write what physically happened (works best in an omniscient POV), and the reader can fill in their own blanks. Simply saying that someone's fingernail was removed will shake people all on its own. The tender skin beneath need not be agonized over in every case.
• Reactionary . Describe pain through the actions of the character. There are outward signs of pain, and the difference between a normally lively character to someone who will not move will worry a reader if your characterization is strong enough.
• After-effects / non-reactionary results. For a more subtle pain, what steps are needed to cure it can be detailed instead. Jumping from doubling over to next-day post-surgery is jarring, and evokes very strong associations.

Hurt yourself.

No, really, go out and hurt yourself. But don't kill yourself. There's a lot of fun things to do that will cause your body to hate you later, like working out for 2 hours. The advantage this gives you is you'll be able to feel the pain more immediately, and when you're out to write your book, it will be much more personal.

But here's an important thing -- don't hurt yourself for the sake of the book. It's much better to hurt yourself for the sake of hurting yourself, if the process of doing so is fun. If you play basketball, you wont feel your body hating you while you play, but later on it will hurt -- but you were having too much fun to notice. If your objective is external to you, like writing a book, you might not learn as much as when your objective is internal, like enjoying the activity while you're in the moment.

As a general rule, I point out the evidence of pain instead of the pain itself. If you have a broken arm, it's better to say "the bone is sticking out from the elbow" rather than "the pain of the bone sticking out of the elbow is really bad." If it's freezing, it's better to say that your fingernails are getting blue and your breath is fogging in your face, rather than saying it's really freezing. What Lauren said about the sinuses is really good, too. Those evidences are what you should be looking for when you're describing something.

Of course, the goal should be to describe the sensation in as few words as possible (at least, for me personally). No need to write your nails are blue, your breath is fogging, your sinuses are clogging, and it's freezing outside. That's overkill. You just need to write the bare minimum so you can spend more time on your story.

The writing style also really helps this out. If your writing style sounds formal like Harry Potter, it will be much harder to describe pain than, say, something like this: "It didn't matter if Jack was the defending MMA champion or a newbie recruit. When she shot that needle into his arm, he fucking felt it."

Although swearing may not be to your best advantage when writing a book. But I'm just putting it out there.

You might notice the same difficulty when writing a fast-paced fight scene. If you're already good at writing fight scenes, you should be good at writing about physical pain. Just ask yourself the question, what can I say about this pain that will make the reader squeamish?

The key to communicate enough pain lies in establishing such empathy among your readers that they become sensitive enough to feel pain by reading you. Ever heard about Harry Potter success story?

I don't know whether you've heard about the craze, but I've seen people literally crying with grief when JKR killed a fictional character (Sirius Black) in her fourth Harry Potter novel. That is how great novelists establish rapport and empathy through their writings in all ages, be it the 16th or 21st century. So, to answer your question, its all about the little details of how you go about your literature - the introduction, plots, friendships and quarrels, struggles, gravity of situation - all these start creating a perception in your readers' minds, and this perception ultimately decides how sensitive or empathic they are towards your writings.

• 1 This is a brilliant answer. Adds a new dimension to it completely. –  markovchain Commented Mar 26, 2013 at 9:29
• J.K. Rowling makes a great deal of money. This does not make her a great novelist. –  user6394 Commented Dec 7, 2013 at 5:50
• 1 @Pyotr - Whether she's a "great" writer is certainly not something that can be quantified. What cannot be disputed is that her books are popular and they resonate with a lot of people. So her writing is effective for some. –  Goodbye Stack Exchange Commented Dec 7, 2013 at 18:28

You have surely felt pain at some time in the past. Think back to what it was like. What thoughts went through your head?

Two concrete suggestions:

-1- Use metaphors or some form of poetic language. I write non-fiction so I don't claim to be good at this, but which of these do you think is more effective:

(a) When he was stabbed, it hurt really bad. He had trouble breathing.

(b) When he was stabbed, it felt like a fire raging through his chest. The air rushed out of his lungs and he struggled to get a breath, like he was a hundred feet under water.

-2- Take your time. Build up to it. Make sure we care about the character first, so that his pain matters. Drag out the description of the pain. In real life when I've felt physical pain I've often thought that it dragged on forever. So don't just say, "It hurt really bad. When he got over it he went to the store."

This isn't entirely the same thing but I recall a novel I read once where a character is introduced and then it's revealed that her husband? boyfriend? whatever recently died and she is upset to the point of suicide. But as I read the story, this character was introduced and then like two pages later the reader is expected to feel deep sympathy for her loss. I'm sorry, but I just didn't. Intellectually I can certainly appreciate that such a loss could be very upsetting, but with no build up, I just didn't care about the character. You can't just say, "Then I met a woman named Jane. She was dying of cancer and was in a lot of pain." The reader won't care. You need to tell us enough about Jane first that we start to think of her as someone we know and like before we're going to care about her pain.

• This is good advice, but I think the examples of (a) and (b) are both equal. (b) is just a dragged on version of (a), and if anything, you don't want to drag anything on. It's non-value-adding. Metaphors are good, but most of the time a reader cant imagine a fire raging in their chest, or being a hundred feet under water. It's much better to point out things readers can relate to :) –  markovchain Commented Mar 19, 2013 at 6:06

You could always volunteer with your local medical or fire rescue service. They always need the support. Not only would this give you exposure to real people in need, but to the others who support them. Frankly, most of us don't have that much exposure to emergency situations. Even if you don't join, talk to someone about doing a ride along.

Don't use boring things like

• She was so sad, she had felt like she was going to die and fall asleep forever.

instead use,

• She was too depressed for her body to handle. She felt like there was a weight on her shoulders and it got heavier, and heavier every single day until she snapped like a twig.

make it interesting, make it so the reader/writer can understand and relate to it.

• 1 This answer would be more helpful when it would describe why the second is better, what writing techniques you used to create it and how they work . –  Philipp Commented Apr 18, 2016 at 17:28

Excruciating pain shot through me, setting me on fire.

• Lily, welcome to Writers. We're looking for answers longer than just one line; perhaps you could expand on this? –  Goodbye Stack Exchange Commented Sep 25, 2015 at 6:35

It is hard to describe great pain if you've never felt it yourself.

It is better to write scenes like this in an omniscient POV, because you can focus both on the feeling itself and on what is happening. If you were in a first-person POV, the focus would be more on the pain. Here are two examples:

Then the knife slashed at my arm. Pain erupted, blocking my vision. My arm felt like it was on fire, and my head spun. I could barely see what the man standing above me was doing. My eyes rolled back in my head and I gave a deep, guttural roar of pain.

Then the knife cut through his right arm. He writhed, roaring with pain on the ground. The man above him laughed and wiped the knife clean, ready for a more fatal stab. His eyes rolled back in his head and he gave the loudest roar of all, a shout that shook the walls.

As you can see, with option one, there is a more blind perspective of the situation that leaves out the key details, of, for example, the man readying the knife. Option two, however, gives a more broad overview of both the man's and the rest of the perspectives and feelings.

My advice to you is don't write about pain if you don't know pain. I would never have included so much pain in my stories back before I felt the torture of pain's company every day. Remembering pain won't help you either--it has to be with you now, inside you, gripping you. We are biologically programmed to forget pain once it has passed.

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