english language creative writing example questions

Miss Huttlestone's GCSE English

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2 Grade 9 Creative Writing Examples

I recently asked my year 11s to pen a piece of description and/or narrative writing for their mini assessment. I gave them the following prompts:

Your school wants you to contribute to a collection of creative writing.

EITHER: Write a short story as suggested by this picture:

OR: Write a description about a person who has made a strong impression on you.

The following were two COMPELLING and CONVINCING examples of the second choice – one pupil taking ‘you’ as a fictional invitation, the other as a biographical one:

EXAMPLE ONE:

Gradually, I awake and open my eyes only to see the cracked white ceiling which greets me every day. Here I sit, slumped in the bed with the scratchy white sheets hugging me and muffled beeping noises jumping into my ears. Rubbing the sleep crust from my bloodshot eyes, I observe the scene before me. The sound of footsteps overlapping as nurses rush from bed to bed; the metallic tang from stainless steel invading my nostrils; the cold metal bed rail imprisoning and mocking me; the pungent scent of antiseptic troubling me and the blood-curdling cries and moans utterly terrifying me. Using all my strength, I try to imagine I am somewhere else, anywhere else but here.

Crowds, signs, roars: it was 1903 and the suffragette movement had begun. It was a crisp night, refreshing almost and I had taken to the streets. It was like I was possessed by something that night, some urge and deep desire within me that had led me there, surrounded by women like myself. I stood clueless and lost in the crowd; the women yelling ‘Deeds not words’ in unison; passionately parading with large wooden signs and viciously shattering windows with bricks and stones. Despite the violence that was displayed before me, I was not afraid of what was happening and I didn’t deem it unnecessary or improper, in fact I wanted the same as these women, I wanted equality. Abruptly, all of the roars and cheers became muted and faint, one woman walked slowly towards me, her hair messily swooped into an updo, her clothes somewhat dirtied and her chocolate brown corset slightly loosened. There was a glimmer in her eyes as tears seemed to swell within their hazel pools, she seemed inspired, hopeful. After reaching me in the crowd, she held out her hand, gently passing me a sign. Immediately, I clasped it and the yelling and chanting rang loudly in my ears once more. My journey had begun.

Here however, is where it ends. I am aware I do not have much time left, as the doctors have told me so, and spending my last moments in this hospital room is not optimal. However, as I look around I can see beauty within a room which at first glance seems void of it. The hollow medical tubes by my side remind me of the awful act of force feeding I have faced in the past; the shrieks and bawls of patients reflecting the pain women had felt in my time and the bed bars mirroring the prisons we were thrown into and the gates we would chain ourselves too. I know these things may seem far from beautiful, but I can see my past within this room, the power I possessed and the changes I have contributed to today. I know now that I can leave this earth having had an impact. Slowly I close my eyes, I can see her, the women who changed my life many years ago, her name, Emmeline Pankhurst.

EXAMPLE TWO:

I will never forget that day. The hazel pools of her eyes glazed over, and hands delicately placed at her sides. Nobody in the room could quite grasp the fact that this was happening. The crowds of black attire row on row seemed to mimic the thing she loves most in life, the piano. However, this time she had taken the ivory natural keys with her and left everyone else with the sharp tones. You needed both to create beautiful symphonies but all that filled the room was the excruciating silence of her absense. Even the metronone like ticks of the clock seemed to come to a standstill.

It had all began that day, she seemed to open up this whole new world for us to explore together as she placed my fingers onto the keys for the first time. I knew that this was what I was meant to do. She was the most passionately beautiful pianist I had ever seen in my life. Often, I would peer round the oak doorway before my lessons just to catch a glimpse at her. It seemed like nothing in the world mattered to her at the time.

As the years progressed, so did the scope of this world we were exploring. Each sheet of lovingly handwritten sheet music was like a new section of the map we were slowly creating together. Each of her students had their own map. Each as beautiful and each as unique as the pianist. The crotchets and quavers that adorned the staves directed the different paths we could take as my fingers graced the keys. This may not have been a beautiful ballet routine, but this was our dance and it had been carefully choreographed just for us.

That piano room was the safest place in the world. Every inch of it her: the potent scent of her floral perfume; shelves full of scruffy and well loved sheet music; rows upon rows of framed photos of her and her students; the vintage piano which she always kept in tune, it was home. I couldn’t bear the

idea that someone else was going move in and rip away the music room without a second thought. It was her music room.

It was up to me now. Up to me to finish this journey we had begun together.

She may not be with me in person anymore, but she will always live within the world we built together and nothing could ever change that. For she could never truly be gone since she left a piece of her within every one of her students; the passion for piano.

YEAH IF YOU COULD JUST STOP BEING SO TALENTED THAT WOULD BE GREAT - Yeah If You Could Just | Meme Generator

gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

Secondary English teacher in Herts. View all posts by gcseenglishwithmisshuttlestone

2 thoughts on “2 Grade 9 Creative Writing Examples”

This has helped me a lot, I myself am preparing for a narrative test like this and these prompts and descriptive short stories are marvellous! Thank you for sharing this! 🙂

My pleasure!

Writing fiction - Edexcel Sample question

Writing fiction is an opportunity to come up with creative and original ways of using language. You might find inspiration from your own experiences or from your imagination.

Part of English Language Writing

Sample question

Write about a time when you, or someone you know, were surprised.

It was windy and wet and the road was full of big puddles. Walking along whistling he was making his way home from school in a bit of a dream. He’d got out early because of the bad weather. Which is why he’s whistling. He doesn’t much like wind or rain but he likes being let out of school early. That’s when it happens this car comes out of nowhere and just drove right through the biggest puddle you’d ever seen. It splashed up him as he stands there drenched not knowing what had hit him, he just knew he’d be in for it when he got home because his new parka was filthy and his mum would be furious.

Feedback - basic

Shows an awareness of the purpose of the task and begins to write an entertaining story.
Uses some figurative language, eg alliteration ‘windy and wet’.
Uses some variety of sentence structure, eg starts with verb ‘Walking along’.
Some variety of vocabulary.
The ideas are linked well and the structure of the paragraph is good.
More control of the narrative voice close narrative voice The voice and tone of a piece of writing. needed. Verb tenses vary from present to past and should use one or the other.
More sentence variety would make this a livelier piece.
More attention to punctuation needed – some confusion between commas and full stops.
Vocabulary choices could be more ambitious.

The wind howled and the rain battered down. The roads were more like a lake than a city centre – full of puddles. Walking along whistling, a schoolboy was making his way home from school. He was in a bit of a dream. He’d been let out early because of the bad weather. He didn’t much like the wind or the rain but he was thrilled at being let out early. That was why he was whistling. You would think it was a summer’s day! That was when it happened. The car came out of nowhere and just drove right through what was more like a miniature lake than a puddle. The water just flew up from the road and showered over the boy who stood there drenched. He didn’t know what to do but he knew he’d be told off when he got home. He was wearing his brand new parka which his mum and dad bought him for his birthday at the weekend.

Feedback - improving

Communicates in a clear and effective way and matches the purpose of entertaining with the story form and the intended audience.
Images and ideas link to create a well-structured narrative.
Sentences are more varied in length creating a lively voice and helping the story to flow.
Vocabulary choices and imagery are increasing in variety and begin to be ambitious (eg ‘howled’, ‘like a miniature lake’).
More variety in sentence types and structure is needed – many of the sentences in the first paragraph begin with ‘he’.
Paragraphs could be used to build tension.
The writer should try to include the senses and aim to use more figurative language close figurative language Using a figure of speech not to be taken literally, usually a metaphor, eg 'a ton of homework'. .

Attempt three

The wind howled like a banshee turning the rain into a salvo of bullets. Was this a November day in Oxford? It was more like the monsoon season in Delhi! The roads were covered in puddles the size of small lakes. Walking along and seemingly unaware of it all was a schoolboy. Whistling as he strolled along, hands in his pockets, he was casually making his way home from school. To say he was in a bit of a dream was an understatement. He’d been let out early because of the bad weather and, although he didn’t much like either wind or rain he was in his new parka and, best of all, he was thrilled to the core at being let out of school early. That was why he was whistling. To him it was a summer’s day!

That was when it happened.

A car came out of nowhere and drove right through a puddle that was doing a very good impression of a miniature lake. The water leapt up from the road with a life of its own and drenched the day-dreaming boy. He was jolted out of his reverie and stood there dazed and drenched. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew he’d be in for it when he got home. His brand new parka had turned from green to a kind of dirty khaki-brown. This wasn’t going to be fun. The parka had been a very expensive present from mum and dad.

Feedback - even better

The story is absorbing and convincing.
It maintains a consistent viewpoint.
The tone, style and voice all match purpose, form and audience to create an engaging narrative.
The sentences are varied in length and type to create a lively style.
Punctuation is accurate throughout and sophisticated in places.
Spelling is accurate and vocabulary choices are ambitious (eg ‘banshee’, ‘understatement’, ‘reverie’ and ‘khaki-brown’).
The description is impressive with some good uses of figurative language eg ‘like a banshee’, ‘thrilled to the core’, ‘leapt up’ and ‘dazed and drenched’).