a holiday romance essay

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BRYN DONOVAN

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25 Christmas Writing Prompts For Holiday Inspiration

One of my readers requested this post! I was happy to do it, because winter and the holidays bring great inspiration to me. These could be used for fiction, journaling, or just about any other creative writing. And I’m keeping them G-rated in case any teachers want to use them for their students! (And if you are a teacher, check out my 50 Story Ideas for Kids , too!)

But these prompts work just as well for adults. If you’ve had a busy autumn or a tumultuous year, but you have a Christmas break, that’s a great time to get back into a writing habit again. Although these are fiction prompts, some of them could be adapted to autobiographical prompts for essays, journaling, or memoir writing as well.

Two people who are secretly romantically interested in one another. They agree to share Christmas dinner together, just as friends, because a family holiday isn’t going to happen and all of their other friends are already busy.
Someone doesn’t have anyone to spend Christmas with.
A person is on a difficult quest to find or make a particular gift for someone else.
A Christmas card arrives in the mail fifty years after it was delivered.
The Christmas ornament is supposedly enchanted.
Someone has just became fabulously wealthy and is picking out gifts for their family.
Someone is transported to a Christmas in a past century.
To impress her, he learns all of the words to her favorite Christmas carol. And he doesn’t even like carols. Or Christmas. Or singing.
Someone embarrasses herself at a Christmas party.
Write a scene inspired by the image of a boat decked out in Christmas lights.
Notes and gifts from a “Secret Santa” take a strange turn.
After the blizzard hits, they’re stuck together for a while, and they have to stay warm.
A single person reacts to getting Christmas cards from married couples with pictures of them with their smiling children.
Two strangers wind up participating in a holiday activity together.
Someone has been cutting down and stealing trees from the Christmas tree farm.
Someone resorts to desperate measures to get home for Christmas.
Write about the worst present your character ever got.
They’re putting up a Christmas tree at the hospital.
Write about someone who’s determined to make amends at Christmas.
Write a scene that incorporates the smells of Christmas.
Someone receives a gift wrapped in newspaper and duct tape.
At the castle, Christmas is very different from what she’s used to.
He and his very pregnant wife can’t find a hotel room right before Christmas.
Okay, he’s not Santa, but he did have a very good reason for breaking into the house.
What’s a reindeer doing in this part of town?

I hope you enjoyed the list! If you want to get notifications of new writing posts (plus general positivity), be sure to subscribe below!

And if you want more writing prompts…like 450 pages’ worth…check out my book 5,000 Writing Prompts. It’s full of master plots in many genres, creative exercises, and more.

5,000 Writing Prompts Bryn Donovan #master plots #ideas for novels

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope you’re having a great week!

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Top 10 Reasons to Write a Holiday Romance

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Here’s a post by Kayla King, brought to you from our archives!

I confess, I’m one of those people who starts listening to Christmas music in September, but now that we’re firmly in December I’m all too happy to lose myself in holly boughs and twinkle lights without a lick of guilt! And what’s the season for but spreading holiday cheer? Here are my top ten reasons you should finally pen that holiday romance that has you humming “All I Want for Christmas is You!”

1. Baby, it’s cold outside. No, I mean, we’re actually snowed in. Use this weather to your advantage. Maybe a blizzard has hit and two unlikely characters are forced to weather the storm together, or a fresh snow falling just makes your heroine want to pull her new fiancé close…it’s brilliant how cold weather can heat things up.

2. It’s Christmas time in the city. Whether your characters are celebrating the holiday at home in a cozy small town or are walking fast past bright lights in a big snowy city, it’s amazing how the familiar becomes exciting and new when the holiday season hits. This is a chance to get down all the little corporeal details that help make holiday magic.

3. There’s no place like home for the holidays. It’s family time, which means it’s time to flesh out secondary characters . This could be the hero’s extended family all the way down to grandma’s Yorkshire terrier, or this could be the heroine’s motley crew of friends. Either way, holiday time means everyone is meeting everyone. Whew!

4. I’ll be home for Christmas and that’s not always a wonderful thing. Who are you going to spend Christmas Eve with? Why are you still single? Is it just Aunt Greta’s imagination, or is there some tension between you and your husband? Great, now she’s going to blab to your mother about it. There’s pressure around the holidays for singles and couples alike, so holiday romances are rife with emotional conflict!

5. I’ll have a b lue Christmas without you. Or with you? What do I really want? While we are firm believers in HEA, the holidays are a stressful time of year and bring out all sorts of tough issues to explore. Not all holiday romances have to be super-sweet, and I’d personally love to see more frank, smart, contemporary holiday romances.

6. Baby please come home. Holidays are the perfect time for forgiveness, so second chance romances make a lot of sense to set during this time of year. This is your chance to write about an old flame or burying the hatchet.

7. Joy to the world, begrudgingly. This is what comes to mind for me when I think about the holidays. Maybe your more taciturn characters are bending to the holiday spirit and perhaps letting themselves feel something for once. Write some scenes that thaw the iciest of hearts.

8. For kids from one to ninety-two… Have you spent time with kids during the holidays? Everything is magic to them, and they have a way of making the adults around them see that magic, too. If you’ve had some kid secondary characters rattling around in your mind for a while, put them in your holiday romance and see how their wonder and belief during this time of year affects your other characters for the better.

9. If only in my dreams… This is the time of year when the impossible becomes possible. People lay down their arms and come together. Someone from the past may return. And maybe Santa Claus will orchestrate a little serendipity.

10. May your days be merry and bright. When it comes down to it, regardless of the tough times that the characters face during this quite exhausting time, holiday happy-ever-afters are extra satisfying. Wrap up your perfect holiday romance evoking the same feeling you get curled up in front of a roaring fire.

What do you love about holiday romances? We want to hear from you in the comments below!

From the editors.

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How to Write a Holiday Romance Story That Warms Your Readers' Hearts

' Tis the season—for holidays romances, that is! As we move into the Christmas and Hanukkah season, TV and streaming services become rife with holiday movies. The publishing world is no different—now's the time of year when readers scour their favorite book provider for the latest holiday romance to warm their hearts and bring on some holiday cheer.

Falling Snow and Mistletoe: How to Write Holiday Romance

The holiday season has long since been viewed as a season for lovers. There's something terribly romantic about the season in general, and readers seek out holiday romances in particular. Readers want feel-good stories with happy endings, knowing that the spirit of the holidays has helped move the romance along.

Generally speaking, the holiday romance novels that do the best are the ones that most closely mirror the story type and flow of arguably the titan of holiday romances— Hallmark . That is, these romances are generally sweet (no sex or profanity), light-hearted, have easily resolvable conflicts, are set in snowy locales, and have plenty of emotional punch to tug at the heartstrings.

Let's take a look at these elements and others in closer detail.

Choose your holiday

The season of "holidays" can mean many different holidays, so choose one that interests you. Whether you decide to write about Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or something else, make sure you understand what the holiday is about and its associated traditions. You don't necessarily have to celebrate the holiday you're writing about, but do be sure you do the proper research to make sure you're writing about it accurately. For instance, if you're writing about Hanukkah, you probably wouldn't have a scene where your characters are decorating a Christmas tree (unless maybe they're helping out their friends who do celebrate Christmas).

You may also want to research the popularity of certain holidays over others. Christmas is, of course, "evergreen" (pun intended) as far as holiday romances go, but with a surge in interest in reading #ownvoices and underrepresented stories, writing a holiday romance featuring characters who celebrate non-Christmas holidays is a great idea to consider.

Whichever holiday you decide to choose, and whether you choose to integrate the holiday into the storyline in a significant way or feature it as the story's backdrop, research it and write it well and with care and sensitivity.

Choose your trope

With romance, certain tropes—a popular theme or storytelling device—are always a hit with readers. Some prevalent ones include friends-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers, second chance, instant love (or "instalove"), single parent, sibling's best friend, small-town, and age gap, to name only a few. A surefire way to know that your holiday romance will be at the top of readers' TBR piles is to choose a popular trope and marry it with a holiday background. For example, perhaps two former high school sweethearts lost touch during college and rediscover each other when they both return to their small town for the holidays. Or perhaps two department store employees strike up a friendship, and the holiday season in the big city brings them closer together. Maybe a high-powered corporate exec falls for a blue-collar single dad. You can find a bunch of other tropes within our holidays romance writing prompts .

Location, location, location

Typically, the holiday season brings to mind snowy locales, full of brightly pine trees and chilly temperatures. What could be more romantic than bundling up and cuddling in close with your crush or loved one? Consider scouting some lovely, snowy locations for the setting of your story.

However, a holiday romance doesn't always have to be set in a cold place. Do some online research, and maybe even visit the actual location like the Caribbean , Italy , or hiking in Portugal to really get to know the place before you start writing. A warm, sun-kissed beach or a charming Mediterranean village can provide a unique and enchanting backdrop for your holiday love story.

Craft your meet-cute

An essential part of any romance is the way the two main characters—the lovers—meet. In romance, especially holiday romance, the cuter, the better. Maybe the heroine is the mother of a young child, and the child's class has a substitute teacher—who just so happens to be the hero she falls for. Or maybe, the hero's a single dad looking for that one special toy for Christmas for his kid, and the very last one in the city is inside a tiny shop owned by the heroine. Perhaps one hero is a postal worker and delivers mail to another hero's home. Then, oops! There's a big snowstorm, making travel unsafe.

Let your sense of romance take over. Readers of holiday romance are readily willing to suspend their belief, so don't be afraid to go wild, even if the meet-cute seems like a stretch. The holidays are the perfect time to believe in the unbelievable, especially when the promise is romance!

Set your heat level

This is an important one, and it will require some careful consideration. How steamy do you want to go in your holiday romance? There are equally large markets for steamy romance and sweet romance (no explicit scenes on the page). The crucial first step to take is understanding the differences in heat level. There are some overlapping definitions, but in general, steamy romance includes one or two detailed sex scenes that occur on the page. The difference between steamy romance and erotic romance is the plot—is it focused on the development of the romance between the two characters, and are the love scenes a device to heighten that emotional bond? Then you've probably got a steamy romance on your hands. Is the plot focused on the love scenes with little to no emphasis on the romance? Then you've probably got erotica.

Studying the market is usually a good idea to get a feel of what you'd like to write. Again referencing Hallmark holiday movies' popularity, you can be sure that sweet romances with no steam or swearing will be well received. Sweet romance means there are no sex scenes, and the physical affection between the characters doesn't go beyond kissing. Most publishers seeking holiday romances are also clear about desiring sweet romance as well—this has the broadest appeal among readers, and many fans of steamy romance will happily read sweet romance as well (although there's not as much crossover the other way around).

Make your conflicts easily resolvable

The holiday season is one of lightheartedness, where people generally like to be kinder to one another than they might be throughout the rest of the year. Themes of peace on Earth and goodwill toward other humans are significant during this time of year, and they're often reflected in holiday romances. Readers usually don't prefer to deal with heavy conflicts in their holiday romances, as they're typically looking for a feel-good escape (there are, of course, exceptions to this, and it's by no means a rule, rather an observation of the holiday romances that tend to dominate the market).

That said, conflicts drive the plot, which drives the story! Think about conflicts that aren't too heavy that can be easily resolved. Misunderstandings and miscommunications are usually good ones to consider. Whatever you decide, try to keep it on the lighter side of things.

Meet those holiday expectations

Part of the joy of the holiday season resides in the commonly held traditions therein. They're familiar, festive, and generally comforting. Going back to our first tip of choosing the right holiday and researching those traditions and traits, you'll want to be sure you're incorporating enough to keep that sense of the season high throughout the story. For instance, in Christmas romance novels, you'll probably want to make sure at least one—more is better—of the following makes an appearance in your story: Christmas tree decorating, gift-wrapping, caroling, ice skating. Bonus points for a Santa sighting and a town Christmas party!

Emotional impact

The holiday season is a time of love, friendship, family, and forgiveness. Consider the emotional themes you want to put in your story and make sure you deliver on them. For instance, if your story concerns a heroine who's spent every Christmas alone, she should end the story with a new family—that of her lover's, or the friends she's made along the way. If you're writing about a military vet who's been deployed for the past five Christmases, perhaps in your story, he finally gets to go home and be with his parents. An underprivileged child might get the chance to receive their most desired gift, or maybe a lonely, recently divorced hero finally finds the person he can open his heart to. You can take your story in so many directions—just be sure the emotional payoff is there.

The happily-ever-after (HEA)

And once that emotional payoff is reached—you can roll right into your HEA, or happily-ever-after. The HEA is critical in romance—some would say it is the story element that makes a romance a true romance. At the end of your story, the reader wants to know the lovers have finally reached their true pinnacle of happiness and are settling in for a long, happy life together. For bonus points, consider dropping in an epilogue at the end of the story, set some time in the future, to give your readers a peek at how the lovers are doing.

The holiday season can be so inspiring to both readers and writers alike. So soak in the festive, happy spirit, put your romance writer hat on, and write that next beautiful holiday romance that will have your readers reaching for it again and again, every single year! Happy writing!

Writing a holiday romance? Here are three tips

Posted on October 28, 2021 at 2:00 PM by Sadye Scott-Hainchek

Holidays of all types are fast approaching, and that may put you in the mood for some seasonal writing.

The winter holidays are, of course, commonly associated with romance, and so that’s the focus of author Jenny Bayliss ’s advice (as well as her latest novel).

Bayliss has three key suggestions for authors looking to write a holiday romance , which you can read at Writer’s Digest.

The 25 Best Holiday Romance Novels, Ranked

Holiday romance novels are a heartwarming genre that combines the magic of festive seasons with the enchanting journey of falling in love. They often feature idyllic wintery settings, charming small towns, and the joy and challenges of the holidays, infusing the romance with warmth, hope, and a touch of holiday spirit.

Popular examples include One Day in December , Dash & Lily's Book of Dares , Christmas Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella, and In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren.

Which of these joyful and cozy holiday romances are your favorites?

In a Holidaze

In a Holidaze centers on Maelyn Jones, who is stuck in a time loop reliving the same holiday week at her family's snowy cabin in Utah after a disappointing Christmas and an unexpected romantic mishap. Desperately seeking to break the cycle, she starts making different choices and discovering what truly makes her happy. Along the way, she navigates family traditions, personal desires, and a burgeoning romance, leading to comedic and heartfelt moments.

One Day in December

One Day in December focuses on Laurie, who spots a man through a bus window during a snowy December day and instantly feels a connection - but they never meet. A year later, she's introduced to her best friend Sarah's new boyfriend Jack, only to realize he's the man from the bus. Over a decade, the story explores the ups and downs of their lives as they navigate love, friendship, and missed opportunities.

Royal Holiday

Vivian Forest accompanies her daughter Maddie on a work trip to England, where Maddie will be styling a royal family member. During their stay, Vivian meets Malcolm Hudson, the Queen's charming private secretary, and sparks fly between them. As they explore their unexpected romance amid the festive holiday backdrop, Vivian must decide if she's willing to take a chance on love despite the challenges of distance and their very different lives.

Christmas Shopaholic

Becky Bloomwood is a shopaholic determined to create the perfect Christmas for her family when she takes on the challenge of hosting the holiday festivities for the first time. Among the chaos of finding the right gifts, dealing with unexpected guests, and handling holiday mishaps, Becky strives to make everyone's Christmas magical, while also juggling her own challenges. The result is a heartwarming and humorous tale of family, love, and the true spirit of the holidays.

The Christmas Sisters

The Christmas Sisters revolves around three adopted sisters - Hannah, Beth, and Posy - who return to their snowy Scottish Highlands home for the holidays, each bringing her own struggles and secrets. Their mother, Suzanne McBride, hopes to bring her family closer together and heal old wounds amid festive preparations. As the sisters reconnect, they confront past traumas, rekindle bonds, and discover the true meaning of family and forgiveness during the enchanting Christmas season.

Winter Street

This story focuses on the Quinn family, who run the Winter Street Inn on Nantucket, an island off the Massachusetts coast. Family patriarch Kelley Quinn discovers his second wife, Mitzi, kissing another man just days before Christmas, and the family members find themselves navigating a tumultuous holiday season filled with secrets, relationship dramas, and unexpected reunions. Despite the discord, each person strives to rediscover the joy and spirit of the holiday season.

How To Turn A Holiday Romance Into A Lasting Relationship

Collaborative Post¦ It might sound fictional, but holiday romance is a real thing. Research revealed that 58% of Brits are in favour of this exciting relationship. Sadly, only 7% of these vacation love progress into lasting relationships. As you contemplate these stats, you might wonder if holiday romance stands a chance. If you wish to elevate your romantic adventure into a lasting relationship, please consider these tips.

Be realistic about the possibilities

Image credit

Sometimes, a holiday romance is just what it is- fleeting, momentary and with very little chance to blossom. However, in some instances, the emotional connection may be so strong that both parties decide to nurture it. However, you should first assess the practicalities. Take this scenario, for instance. You met your romance partner in Brazil while on vacation. However, you live and work in the UK.

Geographical distance makes it challenging to progress into a lasting relationship. Although you have an option to start a long-distance relationship, your romantic partner may like to visit. Suppose you both got married in Brazil during the vacation. In that case, you must apply for a spouse visa to grant your partner access to your country.

You could also need a CPF number, which is required to marry, open a bank account or buy a house in Brazil. It’s similar to a social security number in the US. You can find out more about it and how to apply at https://www.brazilcounsel.com/blog/you-need-a-cpf-in-brazil

Be optimistic about the relationship and the person involved

Saga UK research reveals that 93% of holiday romances fail to progress into serious relationships. However, you can be different by staying optimistic about the likelihood of a relationship. If you believe in romance, then you also may believe in soul mates. Although you had a holiday fling, it can be enough to determine your compatibility. However, be confident that the other person feels the same way about you. The last thing you want is for a relationship to become one-sided.

Work towards it

No relationship will work without effort, making it imperative for you both to set the foundation of a lasting relationship. Values like trust, commitment, respect, support and setting mutual boundaries for each other are expedient. Furthermore, long-lasting relationships need a great deal of emotional tuning and excellent communication. Both of you should view it more as the great awakening to reality after a steamy holiday romance. Research has proven that a poorly managed holiday romance can have effects on mental health .

Avoid being a control freak

Image credit

No real relationship survived with partners exhibiting controlling traits. You are still in the very early stages of emotional bonding, and any controlling trait will put an end to a budding relationship. To avoid this mistake, you should place a high priority on privacy, whether or not they ask for it. This shows that you are willing to show consideration to their needs.

You should never ignore the safety and security elements required in the early stages of dating. Although you had a heated romance, you’re yet to study them thoroughly. Therefore, it’s best to take the necessary precautions to avoid harm.

Disclosure: This is a collaborative post.

Our Favorite Essays And Stories About the Holidays

Reading Lists

We dug into our archives for pieces worth celebrating.

Image of a lamppost at night with snow and wreaths

The holiday season—which I (arbitrarily!) define as beginning in mid-November and continuing through the first of the year—is a minefield. If you’re lucky, the bombs are carbohydrate- or confetti-filled. If you’re not, you’re facing roughly two months of celebratory gatherings and realizing that alcohol, while perhaps a helpful social lubricant, does not actually have the power to silence your mother’s unsolicited opinion about your ticking biological clock. However full or empty your cup of holiday cheer, these essays, stories, and lists are perfect for “the most wonderful time of the year.”

“ Forsaken by the Bitch Goddess at Year’s End ” by Carson McCullers

Sometimes the best gifts are curveballs. This story is like that. If you have a my-glass-is-half-empty perspective this holiday season, read this story. It’s seasonally appropriate, but it’s not saccharine—I promise you will not leave it feeling like Santa’s elves have sneezed Christmas glitter all over you. You will leave it with “a knife, instead of coal, in your stocking.”

At the end of the night it stopped snowing. The early dawn was pearl gray and the day would be fair and very cold. At sunrise Ken put on his overcoat and went downstairs. At that hour there was no one on the street. The sun dappled the fresh snow with gold, and shadows were cold lavender. His senses searched the frozen radiance of the morning and he was thinking he should have written about such a day—that was what he had really meant to write.

“ Please Do Not Give Me Another Freaking Bookmark ” by Carrie V. Mullins

As any voracious reader knows, the only thing you really want for Christmas is a book, which also happens to be the only thing your loved ones refuse to give you (in their defense, it’s not their fault, you’ve read everything). Unfortunately, this dilemma often results in the purchase of book-related garbage—and do you really need another bookmark? No, no you do not. If you’re worried about being on the receiving end of yet another pillow embroidered with a literary quote, I recommend sharing this list of alternative ideas with your friends and family this year.

“ This Christmas Is Unlike Any Other, and Exactly the Same ” by Tabitha Blankenbiller

The holiday season can often feel like a one-dimensional menagerie of glee, as enthusiasts fail to ask important questions like: just how many Christmas lights does this desiccated evergreen actually need? In her thoughtful essay, Blankenbiller discovers a book on Christmas in midcentury America that prompts her to unpack her own holiday traditions in the context of her own unusual cultural moment.

This collection I’m now surrounded with for the remainder of my quarantine holiday is the answer to a question I wouldn’t have dreamed to ask. How did you know it would get better? This sparkling, melancholy, fading world is its own reply. We didn’t. But we celebrated anyway. As you do. As people always have.

“ Literary-Inspired Decoration Ideas for a Horrifying White House Christmas ” by Elyse Martin

If you decorated your Christmas tree last year with pretty lights and festive ornaments, might I suggest mixing it up? This list is bursting with ideas for those interested in tossing tradition to the wind. Projectile vomiting, anyone?

“ Why Do Made-for-TV Christmas Movies Hate Working Women? ” by Elissa Bassist

Build Your Own Christmas Movie Romance , written by Riane Konc, is, in Bassist’s words, “a choose-your-own-escapade that spoofs every Christmas rom-com ever made.” In this fun and enlightening interview, Riane and Bassist discuss everything from Hallmark movies (in which “big city businesswoman is the worst thing you can be or do”), to the Venn diagram overlap between funny people and sad people, to the best way to end any story.

… the best way to end a story, no matter the genre or medium, is to slowly pull back to reveal that actually, the entire story has been taking place inside of a giant snowglobe this whole time. Imagine how much better A Little Life would have been if Hanya Yanagihara had done this. Imagine how much better The Wire would have been. And how much better this interview would have been. This is the only real way to end any story, and deep down, I think everybody knows it.

“ The Worst Holidays in Literature ” by Carrie V. Mullins

If your family is anything like mine, disaster—or maybe just the possibility of disaster—looms large in the month of December. If you’re anticipating capital-F holiday Fails, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re in famous company. This list contains 11 sparkling examples of festive full-blown catastrophes. Cheers!

“ Could the Three Ghosts of Christmas Save the Scrooges of the Trump Era? ” by Reina Hardy

Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is one of the most iconic and beloved of holiday tales. In her essay, Reina Hardy reconsiders the story and its applicability—or lack thereof—to America’s political woes.

The fantasy of A Christmas Carol, that the hearts of the powerful can be magically changed, has never felt more seductive than it does this year — and it’s never been clearer that it’s a fantasy.

“ Literary Holidays You Should Add to Your Calendar ” by Natalee Cruz

Christmas may have a monopoly on the commercial market, but it’s by no means the only holiday worth celebrating. Pencil in time for the literary holidays on this list in 2022—to which I’d add World Poetry Day (March 21), Banned Books Week (last week of September), and Mad Hatter Day (October 6).

“ Christmas Alone Is Better than Christmas with a Creep ” by Georges Simenon

If I’m being simplistic, Christmas-themed tales tend to come in two varieties: heartwarming and cozy, or dark and despairing. Georges Simenon’s classic “Christmas story for grown-ups” isn’t a Hallmark movie—it opens with a suicide, the protagonist is a prostitute, and it’s replete with lines like:

But does anybody want to go home on Christmas Eve knowing there is no one waiting there and with the prospect of lying in bed listening to the sound of music and happy voices coming through the wall?

That said, this short story still manages to capture the Christmas spirit. I can’t explain it, but it is nevertheless true.

“ 9 Books About Krampus and Other Holiday Horrors ” by Preety Sidhu

While Saint Nicholas has historically bogarted all the cultural glory associated with the Christmas holiday (at least in the United States), Krampus is a figure who might appeal more to those reluctant to hang up their Halloween costumes for snowmen and caroling. If you’re looking to shake up your tinsel-laden December with a little gore, get in the Krampus spirit with the grisly tales featured on this list.

“ The Mayor Who Gave His Town a Holiday for Sex ” by Ramona Ausubel

Look, maybe Christmas isn’t for you. It’s not your style! You’re allergic to peppermint! There’s nothing wrong with that! If that’s the case, this story about an alternative holiday might appeal. Christmas isn’t for everyone, but surely Love Day is.

Tom thinks about a designated sex day. Everything around him is dreary. The economy droops. Winter is nigh. He takes solace in the fact that the whole city seems to have reached the sloppy bottom place, has sunk to the pond-scummy floor and that anything, it seems, would be an improvement. Tom begins to draft an announcement for the newspaper. He changes the name of the holiday to Love Day.

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The Painful Fantasy of Holiday Romances

by Amanda · Dec 5, 2017 at 10:36 am · View all 97 comments

As a reader, it doesn’t take much for me to get on board a crazy train headed for WTF-ville. Vampire NAVY Seal angels? Let me at it. Fingerblasting in a corn field? Sure, sign me up. But one the one aspect of romance that I cannot seem to reconcile my feelings for is the holiday romance.

If you like holiday romances, great! Before we get into the nitty gritty, I don’t want any readers feeling like I’m yucking their yum. Trust me, I can understand the appeal. But the types of stories often found in holiday romances have zero shreds of a connection to the holiday season I’ve experienced for most of my life.

For the most part, I equate holiday romances with quaint small towns, powdery snow, and twinkling lights. Often, the main characters are tasked with finding love before Christmas, which I find odd, though I suppose few people enjoy spending the holidays alone. There’s healing, twee moments, maybe some sort of food mishap. But, of course, everything works out in the end and there’s a happily ever after.

This is the first year my brother and I will be spending the holiday season away from my parents, and not exactly by choice. At the end of November, we both received a call from our dad that “Christmas was cancelled.” It wasn’t really a surprise to us, but we were both grateful we got the call before any plane tickets had been purchased. Instead, my brother came up with the idea to go to Montreal. He’s in the military and his time off is limited, so you’re damn right I was going to say yes to seeing my darling baby bro and having an excuse to travel to a new place.

This might actually be the first Christmas I’ve looked forward to in quite some time.

See, I come from a dysfunctional family that must contend with addiction and mental illness. I know I’m not alone and I haven’t cornered that particular market, but I say this because I don’t want to seem like a grinch for no reason. My dad is a recovering alcoholic (he just celebrated one year of sobriety and I’m so incredibly proud of him) and my mom has been diagnosed with anxiety and bipolar disorder. Many holidays are spent trying to coax a crying mom out of her bedroom because it didn’t snow that one time we went to Tennessee or because it didn’t “feel” like Christmas. One Thanksgiving, I stayed in Boston, while my brother went to my parents’ house. Something happened and all the food was tossed in the garbage. My brother went back to his college apartment with no yummy leftovers and played video games alone.

When I think of the holidays, I think of being a hostage to my mother’s ever-changing moods or of the tense atmosphere as I count the days when I can return to Boston. It’s never something I look forward to. And even though some holiday romances have curmudgeonly characters, it’s borne of some individual painful memory…not years and years of toxic holiday get-togethers.

At times, I do get the sense that I’m missing out on something. So many of my fellow readers love this time of year, when holiday romances are in full force. They have fun family traditions and cookie swaps! Meanwhile, I have weekly trips to a therapist. Sidenote: my therapist is on maternity leave and won’t be back until January, and whoa, buddy, is she going to earn the hell out of that co-pay next time I see her.

When a book has paranormal elements or is already billed as being over the top, I really don’t question why a hero is an alien from a distant planet looking for an earthly mail order bride. But with contemporary romances, I’m increasingly more picky about which elements feel real to me and happy holidays just…don’t. They’ve felt more of a painful fantasy to me than anything else.

I don’t think I’ll ever be a holiday romance fan, and that’s okay. Though I will admit the saturation of holiday romances around this time feels a bit like salt in a wound – hence this post.

What about you? Do you experience similar frustrations with holiday romances?

Please note: this isn’t an invitation to convince those of us who find the holidays painful that we should try again or change our minds. Each of our experiences are valid, and as I wrote above, this is not to yuck your yum. As always, we want the comments area to be a safe space for everyone.

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I read them for the fantasy that they are. Now that I think about it, I prefer historical ones, because there is not as much pressure for the holiday to be perfect. Having had some crummy holidays, I look at the book versions as pure fiction. I think we have too much societal pressure for “perfect” holidays. Thanks for the great essay.

I enjoy sappy holiday romances because they don’t reflect the painful reality of the season.

I’m so sorry that you’ve had such difficult times. It’s made worse by all the hoopla and happiness that “should” come with the holidays. Your experiences rang so true with me, including Thanksgiving dinner being thrown out, trying to cope with an anxiety-ridden (and very angry) mother and an absent father. I was constantly torn between guilt and sadness when I experienced and thought of my parents, so as you implied, it’s very complicated. Seeing Christmas movies with their ideal families (or families with a little dysfunction that can be cured by saying, “But I love you”) can be fun, but they also can elicit the feeling that everybody is at a great party that you haven’t been invited to. I learned to do things that made me happy, especially during the holidays–like buying myself a great centerpiece or making delicious candy (to eat) and to give away, going to the great movies that come out this time of year, etc. Be good to yourself and indulge yourself with people and events that make you happy.

Christmas books don’t work for me because I find this time of year dispiriting. Is that ironic? I never know.

There is a disconnect when we read something that is 180 degrees from what we KNOW. The more personal and painful our experience, the harder it is to square real life with fiction. No matter how much we might want to.

I was thinking just a few minutes ago about how I don’t care for, in general, books about billionaires, bosses and cozy crimes. Real life doesn’t work the way these stories do and the gulf is too wide to cross.

I completely respect what other readers enjoy and would never try to dissuade someone from their choices. As an early member of a vampire brotherhood fan board when it existed, I have no shade to throw.

I’m so happy to see this post. I’ve worked in retail or shipping/transportation my entire adult life. From Black Friday to Christmas Eve I plan on working 16 hour days and being exhausted. Add to that all the expectations of the season (make cookies! Shop for gifts! Decorate the house!) and I feel even more burned out.

For me the holidays are a season of burn-out and feeling like I’m failing expectations.

Amanda, I’ve had the same experiences with my mom, who has battled a number of chronic physical and mental illnesses since I was a child. Holidays were mostly me walking on eggshells around my mom, and self-censoring everything that came out of my mouth (which still didn’t always work to avoid my mom’s meltdowns). Christmas (and Thanksgiving) have been more or less “cancelled” for a good number of years now, and all I can think is that I’m happy I can just be by myself and not have to worry about what I say/said. I make sure my parents are cared for, but otherwise avoid the holidays to the extent that I can. I used to love Christmas stories because they were pure fantasy and escapism. Now, I can’t even listen to Christmas music anymore. I still read romance (largely contemporaries and Mary Balogh) but I’m finding I’m more cynical about them than I used to be, and am starting to wonder if I should give up on romance altogether.

I love this post so hard! It almost sounds like we grew up in the same family, minus the current sobriety.

Amanda, I’m sorry you’ve gone through that and I’m glad you and brother have found a way that works for you. I don’t seek out holiday romances, because they often feel predictable to me. Which is weird because I do love Christmas movies. But I think they don’t use as much of my brain or the same part of my brain.

And to me holiday time and romance don’t generally mesh? And that’s someone who had a pretty average childhood. You’re often in a strange place, seeing people you don’t see often. It’s not the time for anything emotionally complicated.

Christmas in particular to me makes me think of childhood, either my childhood or now my children and how I want them to remember the holiday. So it’s not, necessarily, yay! sexy romantic thoughts dancing through my head. It’s more like “man, I’m going to be sleeping at my mother in law’s house and that bed in the spare room is so awful.” The few holiday romances I’ve read are by authors I like and trust.

You’ve definitely given me food for thought.

Thank you so much for this post.

I’m so sorry for what you and your brother have gone through, Amanda. You (and he) are very brave.

I absolutely love Christmas romances in book, movie, and daydream form. But I know I love them because Christmas was never part of my reality. I was raised casually Jewish, and I usually forgot when Christmas was in the vague blend of days on school vacation. As an adult I always work Christmas and the days leading up to it, because I’m one of the few employees without family obligations.

Christmas has always been a glittering fantasy for me, a relic from my days as a wistful kid looking in windows–beautiful trees shimmering with lights and popcorn and glass ornaments, stacks of colorful wrapped presents, themed movies and decorations everywhere for a whole month just to get people excited about a single day. I never got to be part of that, and because I didn’t experience the reality–bad or good, thrilling or boring–it’s always stayed a sparkling snowglobe of an idea, one I can see but never really touch. And for me, that kind of fantasy lends itself beautifully to the fantasy of romance.

Sounds like you had some tough holiday experiences. Sorry to hear that. Not to trivialize your experiences, but your story sounds like a really interesting premise for a holiday romance. Like, the ‘you’ character could meet a gruff, but sensitive bar owner in Montreal. Or ‘your’ flight could be delayed and you meet an airline pilot at the airport hotel bar.

I hope you and your brother have a wonderful time in Montreal.

“Dread” is the word that comes to mind at holiday time. Every December, my mother displays Christmas family photos in which my brother and I blatantly look like we’re about to be eaten by something in a Stephen King movie if we don’t LOOK HAPPY, DAMMIT. They are a whole class in body language.

So… I just don’t buy the month of goodwill and peace. I throw people their gifts no later than the 10th and vanish until mid-January because I don’t want to ruin whatever they want to include my dysfunctional ass in because I know perfectly well I’m toxic.

Holiday-themed books are an auto-nope because the leap from real life to that particular fantasy is impossible. I’m not reading romance at all this month, in fact, because I am so far from the warm fuzzies. N.K. Jemisin, Cassandra Khaw, and finishing my annual re-read of The Dark Tower to get me through the “merriment.”

I understand. Although I am old enough to be your mother, I will always be the child of an addict/mentally ill mother and enabler father. And as an adult I am the sole cooker of the feasts and gift giver for my husband’s large and dysfunctional family.

My favorite holiday? Thanksgiving, when we go out to dinner with friends. Least favorite holiday? Christmas, where I cook and clean for three days, shop and wrap for the multitudes, and referee among ill-behaved children, over-imbibing adults, stage-worthy drama, and clan in-fighting, and serve one and all. (Husband is right there with me, working at it too – he is a good man.)

I love holiday HEA romance books – I look at them as pure fantasy, the adult version of a child’s Christmas story. Escapist and fun, with no place in reality.

Have a wonderful time in Montreal, and I am sending a warm fantasy mom hug to you and your brother.

Good for you Amanda, Montreal is going to be awesome.

Oh yeah. So been there. My best choice ever was simply walking away and staying away from bad family messes. Forever. No regrets and deep freedom breathing. Made our own holidays and they were mostly great. Still I skip most holiday theme media except for older hymns. Happy to each.

I am sorry. I understand, in more ways than one. It is good you are going to do something with your brother – Montreal is a fabulous city, and the food is excellent! I hope you enjoy yourselves.

I think there are some things that just will never be fun because of our life experience. For instance, I do not find books or movies involving mental illness to be entertaining for me. I could not go see A Beautiful Mind because I will never find schizophrenia entertaining. Mother’s Day is the holiday I have trouble dealing with – not sure if Mother’s Day books will ever be a thing, but if they were I would avoid them like the plague.

Christmas romances don’t bother me much, but I don’t go seeking them out either. I love the Penny Reid “Winston Brothers” books, but I had a hard time reading the one where the heroine had mental health issues. I am reading these books to escape, and I nearly DNF’d that one – just not a calming read for me.

Coming from my own dysfunctional family (only sober child of 3, alcoholic parent, chronic depression in the other), I love Christmas romances and they make a great escape from the craziness.

Hope you’re able to enjoy your holiday!

@Jenny, I used to read a lot of Harlequin Intrigues and pre-vampire-onslaught paranormals in the early 90s, but after going through some major disappointments IRL, one day I decided I’d had enough of fictional HEAs and quit romance. Even now that I’m reading them again, I find myself sticking mostly to historicals, probably because they read almost as a fantasy subgenre that’s a few steps removed from real life, even when dealing with tough issues.

Amanda, I hope you and your brother have an awesome time in Montreal making your holiday exactly what you want it to be.

Have a lovely trip to Montreal.

I’m more selective than I used to be about what holiday romances I read. I was blessed that growing up I had happy holidays but it was laid back in its way with an emphasis on church and family, not an over-the-top consumer extravaganza.

I do get tired of the holiday romances that are insta-love. I’ve been reading some (m/m) recently where Christmas/New Year is the push from friends to lovers, which I enjoy, but I can’t get excited about ones where characters meet and fall in love in a short period of time.

@elyse – I’ve just quit my retail job after working 13 years in bookstores/customer service. I feel you so much on that. I am actively angry when I start to hear Christmas music every year (I’m working on that with my therapist) and I can’t feel the joy other people do this time of year. My bookstore coworker made up a poem about me being the Grinch and it is a prized possession of mine – it was intended kindly and received with that intent.

This year is the only different one because I’ll be visiting my sister in Chicago with my parents for the week of Christmas. I’ve never been to Chicago and this means that I won’t have to do Christmas with the bigoted family that I can’t stand. I’ve been feeling a sense of relief ever since this was decided. This may be a year that I actually enjoy the holidays.

But I can’t with the happy people Christmas movies/books. I’m so very happy that it works for other people – I want them to have their joy – but it always exhausts me.

Really appreciate your honesty about the holidays. Thank you for sharing. For the first time, this year I decided to read a few holiday-themed romance books and found them less enjoyable than other romances. I like fictional stories in order to escape my reality (loveless marriage and poor health) so probably will read anything but Christmas ones. At this stage of life, I’m no longer expected to put on a happy face. I’m retired and only have my adult children to celebrate with and can keep celebrations to a minimum. Besides I’m dealing with numerous autoimmune diseases and need to focus on my health. Everyone’s reality is different. I’m glad I’m not alone in opting to be ho-hum instead of ho ho ho about Christmas.

Ok, I’m going to go ahead and admit that I like holiday (including Christmas) romances. I come from a mildly dysfunctional background, but Christmas was generally fun. I get that not everyone had the same kind of upbringing and I’m not trying to jolly anyone into feeling differently than they do.

But for what it’s worth, I can’t read Christmas romances AT Christmas. I LOATHE summertime and all things hot weather-y, so that’s when I break out all those stories of snow and hot cocoa and smooching (or what have you) in the snow. And I actually like the Christmas stories where everything is NOT Christmas card perfect. Give me a Scrooge character who is only marginally brought around to the wonder of the season. Give me a mall Santa or elf who finds love but then also burns the costume on the 26th and vows never to wear such a thing again. Give me a drunk, racist aunt/uncle who ruins Christmas Eve…I’d actually much rather read about that stuff than wide-eyed tykes whose innocent joy in the season reveals the true meaning of blah, blah, blah…Gag!!! Actually, keep any and all children far, far away from my Christmas romance plots, please.

My husband’s family is VERY big on the holidays–over the top trees, lots of special foods, presents for everyone including the pets, extended one by one gift openings that go for over an hour, etc. I, on the other hand, have few happy childhood holiday memories.

I took over hosting duties from my much-loved mother-in-law (i.e. The Spirit of Christmas Present)…. for the last 30+ years! I enjoy aspects of it all but don’t want to read contemporary romances set in the season and hate the super cheery, inspirational holiday movies. After working on it all (and it is work!) by the end of the big dinner and cleanup I want to disappear into a crazy-ass paranormal or an absorbing mystery. Luckily people have come to expect me to “be exhausted and need to rest” and go on with the celebration while I retire to a nearby comfy chair with a book. To each his own.

I grew up with a more or less intact immediate family but very disfunctional extended family so holidays can go (and have gone) either way for me. I am also not big on spirit – whether it be team spirit or holiday spirit. I like traditions and rituals but the idea of having to feel a certain way at a certain time gets my back up. Especially when I’m having a bad mental health month.

I used to read a lot of holiday romances – I think partly because I used to read a lot of novellas and there are a lot of holiday novellas and anthologies. And because they were fun for me. Thinking back on my faves, they were mostly historicals, with a few contemporary workplace romances and/or erotic romances. And I tended to reread my faves each year.

I’m not a big fan of the cozy contemporary Christmas romance because I just can’t relate. I actively dislike the ones with matchmaking angels. As well as the ones where the cranky, Scrooge character is badgered into being cheerful. Dude, telling me to be cheerful is NOT going to get me into the so called holiday spirit.

I currently only read queer holiday romances – both because I’m mostly reading queer romance lately and because they tend to be less sticky sweet and tend to acknowledge that family and holidays can be tough. Out from the Cold by LA Witt is one of my fave non sticky sweet romances set during the holidays – mm contemporary, both h/h have PTSD, both have family stuff and the way they help each other without magically curing each other really worked for me.

I probably read fewer holiday romances than I used to – partly because thanks to my ereader I’m less susceptible to the displays of holiday romances and partly just because.

I’m a “hell yes, ALL THE CHRISTMAS” person so reality checks like this are important for me to see as a reminder that it’s not a joyful season for everyone and someone who isn’t excited may have a host of valid reasons. Thanks for sharing on a difficult subject and good luck with December!

I’m from a similarly dysfunctional family (my husband and I are looking forward to when we can stay home for Christmas. That day is not this Christmas Day), but I love holiday romances. I start hoarding them in September and just binge through starting after Halloween. For me, the idyllic holiday setting is total escapism. I have never actually experienced a Christmas LIKE any of the ones I read (as a matter of fact, one year, I wrote about my perfect Christmas for a college admissions essay, and that year my parents kicked my sister out of the house on Christmas Eve. I spent the evening in my room, crying myself to sleep). The stories are comforting to me purely for escapism reasons, and because I still stubbornly refuse to give up the little bit of magic that the Christmas season has for me (I totally understand when that isn’t the case for other people. It can be a difficult time for totally real reasons). My husband and I are working on making our own Christmas traditions now, separate from our families.

I love holiday romances because there’s excellent potential for angst. Everything’s amplified. Many of my favorite tropes work well in Christmas stories, like returning to your hometown with DREAD, and a marriage in crisis will be EVEN MORE in crisis. It’s very possible that I wouldn’t feel the same way if my own Christmas memories were too painful.

I wish you both an amazing time in Montreal!

What a relief to know I’m not alone. The time between mid-November and New Year’s is the most depressing for me of the whole year. My anti-depressants get a workout (and usually an increase in dosage) until it’s over.

My family is dysfunctional as well: Alcoholic father, recovering mother (she never admitted it but she was). They leave the state to spend the winter far away and I haven’t spent a holiday with them in probably 20 years or so. Although, when I lived with them, they didn’t really spend a lot of holidays with me either. There was always a party someplace or a bar that was open where they would go meet friends.

I’ve been sucked into my husband’s family (also dysfunctional for a host of other reasons). It will never be the same as if I had my own and I think that’s part of why I don’t like this part of the year. (Except the parts that I do like: Solstice and the lights on trees.) Anyway, it’s not as nice to sit and listen to someone else’s great holiday memories as it would be to have your own. Except that I don’t have any.

Now that I’ve had my moment of therapy, I’ll get to the actual point: I do not favor the holiday themed romances. I agree with some of the other comments: They’re too rushed, too far from my own reality while still being in the same realm of possibility. At least for other people. At least with my standard historical fiction I know that it’s all made up. That even if some of it really did happen the way it’s written, it was so long ago that there’s no comparison.

Your experience is a lot like mine, Amanda. Various forms of mental illness run in my family, so gathering the relatives was a wonderful bouquet of neuroses waiting to explode. Even if it was just my immediate family, my mother and my sister would eventually be at each other’s throats about something, and my dad would just nope on out of there and leave me to clean up the emotional mess. My favorite times were when I could hide behind the Christmas tree where nobody could see me and read depressing Victorian novels.

I got married on Christmas Eve partly to help erase the unhappiness that always came with the season; and while my husband sometimes grumbled about how hard it was to celebrate our anniversary, especially when we had kids, it pretty much worked for me and I tried to make Christmas a good time for our kids, even if I knew it would never be perfect. We made our own traditions and it worked for us. This year, having lost him and our house at more or less the same time, I just can’t deal. It’s like, Christmas is a thing but it has nothing to do with me. There’s no place to put decorations because there are too many boxes (and I think all our Christmas stuff is still in my friend’s garage anyway.) I don’t even have the energy to make cookies, the one thing I always enjoyed.

So, long story short, no holiday romances for me; particularly no contemporaries, which tend to strain my suspension of disbelief at the best of times. There are a couple of historical Christmas novellas I did enjoy and occasionally reread, but I enjoyed them in spite of their being holiday romances and not because of.

I am one of those weirdos who reads almost exclusively holiday romance during the Christmas season. My suspension of disbelief goes into overdrive in December. Holiday romances take me away from the stress of meeting holiday expectations and the soul-sucking end of year work deadlines. A Regency house party anthology and coffee in my Christmas mug is bliss for me.

I think every family has some dysfunction. My mother’s strange aversion to Thanksgiving took me years to get over. My husband says he was raised by wolves. When we married over 30 years ago, we moved a distance from our families and have not spent the end of year holidays with them since. My husband worked in retail management. He was dead-tired or sick on Christmas and was at work early the day after Thanksgiving and the day after Christmas. This made holiday travel for us unrealistic. Our families didn’t exactly burn up the roads to see us either. Over the years, we’ve built our own warm holiday traditions and family. Often, geography is the cure.

Amanda, I wish you and your brother a wonderful holiday in Montreal and also send you both fantasy Mom hugs!

Thank you for sharing. I’ve had a changing relationship with Christmas throughout my 32 years. I’ve been on the end of “canceling Christmas” recently because of depression and anxiety of interacting with my in-laws (wonderful and perfectly nice people), but feel insecure and left-out through my own issues. It used to be a holiday where my sister and I joined together to make the most out of it after my mom died and my dad kind of just focused on dinner and gifts. My sister and I would bring out the Christmas music (seemingly earlier every year) and started to get our own collection beyond my dad’s. We’d watch Christmas movies, including The Santa Clause on Christmas Eve. It eventually became more of a sister and friend holiday, with false cheer and happiness with my father. Once my sister started seriously dating the person who became her husband, she stopped showing up to my in-laws after six years and I have yet to receive an invite to any of her family’s celebrations in the six years they’ve been together. Already isolated from other family from old tiffs, wounds, and distance, it got worse when my husband and I moved away from everyone (about 4 hours). After a year of trying to visit and continue on, it was too much for me to handle with the expectations of the season. This is the first after two years of making Thanksgiving down with my in-laws. We’re planning on visiting for Christmas, but mostly because my husband’s family is going to be moving out of state.

I stopped listening and buying new Christmas music after the first year we moved. I usually turn the station away from Christmas songs on the radio. But, this year, I started playing the piano again, the old Christmas song book my sister and I would take turns at while wrapping gifts, making cookies, and just messing around.

I find myself reading a bunch of historical Christmas romances over contemporary, because it feels as if the season is a character (something Mary Balogh mentioned doing on purpose). I have been enjoying the shorter ones, but not all of them. To me, I like the idea of the magic of it, the hope. Of course, there is a happily ever after, but I find myself really liking the small moments and interactions in the stories.

One of my favorite Christmas movies of all time is Joyeux Noel, focusing on a moment in World War I where the troops stopped fighting and shared in the season with one another. That is what I think about at Christmas. It’s a time where there is lots of cynicism, hurt, and loneliness, and many people are in a hurry with stores busy. Some even say it’s a greedy season. I like to think of it as a season when many reflect on behaviors and feelings we may not notice about ourselves and others most of the rest of the year. And it’s a time that affects most of us in the world that celebrates it, in one way or another. And, I think it’s a time when people can have an awareness of hope, even if it is often dashed, it is felt and thought of, keeping it alive in a very human sense.

I hope you have a lovely time in Montreal with your brother. It sounds like a wonderful trip with someone you love.

Happy trips! And keep an eye open for the must-have 2018 Calendar, “Justin Trudeau: My Canadian Boyfriend” – I just found it at a mall kiosk yesterday.

You know many of us understand that a whole family holiday can frequently descend into pain for some, while the others – who knows what the hell is going on inside their heads, are they miserable too? It never actually gets all resolved and happy ever after by the end of the five day trip, does it? When critics talk about romance giving readers false expectations, that’s the main one – not that women should have careers and respectful, loving partners, but that a lifetime of family dysfunction can resolve itself into a warm holiday meal. Fiction. (I remember hiding under a bed in my twenties to call my now-spouse and whispering into the phone “I will never come here by myself for a holiday again.” Reader, I never did.)

My deep and long-standing issues are with Thanksgiving (because that’s a holiday that’s only about family, and as a kid at least I got books for Christmas! Thanksgiving always felt like all the minefields, none of the rewards) – so I really understand how you feel about Christmas. Luckily I married a person from another country who didn’t care about Americans’ extreme over the top end of November celebrations, so we’ve been freed to do whatever. One year we took the kids to SeaWorld, rode roller-coasters and had tacos on the Thursday in question. ENJOY going to Montreal and doing fabulous winter stuff – ENJOY YOUR DECISION!

Sometime after finishing His Road Home, I realized I’d written a Thanksgiving romance to create a version of the holiday that meant what I wanted the holiday to mean, with people who didn’t have issues with Thanksgiving, they just had sex. Thanksgiving has been emotionally easier for me since (not to mention the Rita Award for a Thanksgiving romance supplanted some of the bad stuff – I just look at the golden lady next to the table and say yep, all that bad stuff just honed my craft, (uh, no, I wish I didn’t have the wealth of well-rounded life experiences that I got, but I can pretend that I value it).

Consider buying a symbolic trophy while you’re in Montreal to give yourself an award for celebrating your way – and use it every year as a centerpiece. Maybe even get the year 2017 engraved on it. It is good to be old enough and wise enough to realize that it’s okay to skip or change or just shrug – welcome to the club.

*** That said, I do love Regency Christmas Kittens romances … things like Stocking Stuffers from Zebra being one of my quite truthful catnips ***

I’m glad you posted this because I was starting to think I am the only one who feels this way, and not just about holiday romances but holiday stuff in general (I know I’m not alone, but I don’t know anyone IRL who feels like this)!

Anyway, I have a dysfunctional family, too, and it’s not even that. All of it just isn’t particularly appetizing to me – the decorations, the movies, the lights. I admit to liking some of the music (because I love music) and I’ll bake anyway since I like feeding people…but not everyone is a Pinterest warrior or can stand watching Hallmark movies all day.

I’m sick of being called a grinch or a scrooge, so this was refreshing to read!

I hope you have a great time in Montreal – traveling to a new place actually sounds like the best way to spend the holidays 🙂

Amanda, thanks for your post. All I will say is, I can relate, and I’m glad you are doing what’s best for your mental health this year.

Amanda, thanks for this post. I come from a similarly dysfunctional background and have long experienced a kind of holiday-related anxiety that causes me to stress out over seemingly minor things in a way that is wildly disproportionate to what is actually going on. Something about needing everything to be perfect because then everybody will be happy and my role in the family is that of peacemaker, blah blah blah (my therapist says hello!). I have always read as an escape mechanism. As a child I was like you, I could read NOTHING actually related to the holiday. I used to seek out science fiction and fantasy for these times. The more unrelated to my actual reality, the better it worked. As an adult with my own family, I have worked really hard to carve out my own version of how I want the holidays to be. I still think I put way too much pressure on myself and place too much importance on certain things because they are “traditions” but I’m working on that. However as my relationship to the holidays has changed, I’ve noticed that my reading material around the holidays has changed as well. I’m much more receptive to holiday romances now and even find them fun. Sarah Morgan’s Miracle on 5th Avenue was one of my favorites last year. I still roll my eyes at the idealized family depictions in many of them, but that’s kind of my standard reaction to the idealized families in literature–combination of eye roll and jealousy. All this to say–I feel you, and for me, my relationship to holiday romance got more positive when my relationship to the holidays did too. But however you do it, I am wishing you peace and happiness and all good things this season.

@ EC Spurlock (#30) Oh, I am so, so sorry for your loss.

I never read Holiday stories of any kind. Not just because i usually find them to be gag worthy & sappy and my personal catnip includes angst, pain & real struggle, but because I find life/people in general to be to determined to be “happy” at this time of year (even tho we all know many, if not most, of us are not). I stock my fridge, my DVR & my tbr list on my E-reader and hide out for the duration. Bah-humbug

Omg this. I’m constantly telling folks that Christmas is hard for me. For me it’s the divorced family since I was A baby, being forced to spend time with people i didn’t know or my other parents and their unrealistic expectations of a kid… throw in my drug addict uncle trying to slice the turkey while on the nod… you’ve inspired me to write the real holiday dinner! But seriously, hugs to you this season because i totally get it.

What an interesting post today. It’s a bittersweet notion that the holidays are being a relief from family when so much of our culture is surrounded by doing everything one can to bring as much family as possible into it. As a police dispatcher, I’m all for families calling themselves on issues and considering a nice card, phone call or Amazon Prime rather than perpetuate drama, emotional instability and sadly, in some cases violence. (Not that the op would be in these boats, but as a generalization). I’m in a less stressful but still awkward place this year, with my mother in law suddenly passing and balancing my father in laws grief with any traditions my husband may still want to keep. My answer for the holidays is always as much butter, eggs, vanillla, sugar and flour as my kitchen and small household can withstand. Cookies solve a lot, but can’t solve everything.

While nothing stands out as a recommended book (perhaps a Montreal travel guide?) perhaps the OP can make herself a bit of the storied holiday magic in creating a new tradition or experience. Everyone celebrates differently, and perhaps the magic this year is in creating a positive memory with those she loves.

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A Holiday Romance

Filed Under: Essays Tagged With: romance

Like many other people I dream to get away from it all for a while and to soothe away stress. I can’t say what type of a holiday-maker I am, because I may feel happy about anything which gives me an opportunity to relax my body, renew my energy and refresh my spirits. Like sun-worshippers I may go on a seaside holiday. I will laze around on the beach in the middle of nowhere, bronzing myself and gazing at the sea. By the way, I don’t need a five-star hotel with luxury accommodation facilities. I only want my hotel to overlook the sea and to be a stone’s throw away from the beach.

There, on the beach, apart from basking under the sun I can indulge in sports activities and, who knows, look for a holiday romance. These watersports enthusiasts look so attractive! Or I may enjoy an adventure holiday, like a true traveller. I will look round the cities, exploring the obvious attractions and taking the best of the local cuisine. If I get tired of places swarming with people I can always find something completely off the beaten track – for example, a chalet in a bijou village or a boarding house providing homely food – and stay there for a weekend

I may even follow the example of home-lovers and stay at home, spending precious time on my own and with people I like and love. The only holiday that doesn’t appeal to me is camping. Pitching a camp is tiring and tents always look as if going to collapse. Besides, sitting round the fire singing songs in a place swarming with mosquitoes doesn’t sound like my scene at all. As you see, my list of holiday must-haves is not very strict. The only thing I really look for in a holiday is something which will make me feel refreshed.

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Essays About Holidays With Family: Top 5 Examples and Prompts

Looking for an interesting topic for your next essay? Check out our top essays about holidays with family and a list of prompts for inspiration.

Holidays with family can create memories of a lifetime – some for good reasons and some for unpleasant incidents. Aside from giving the weary a break from work, holidays also provide an opportunity for families to gather, enjoy and make new, lasting memories together. Many cultures celebrate holidays differently and have holidays unique to their cultures and countries.

If you’re writing an essay about holidays with family, here is our list of essays that will keep you glued and reflect on your holidays.

1. A Guide To Navigating Food And Family During Holidays by Katherine Speller

2. forgiveness perfect gift for the holidays by käri knutson , 3. everything that went wrong on our family vacation (and why it was still totally worth it) by michelle weisenberg, 4. consumerism culture is dangerous to the true meaning of christmas by frank portillo, 5. holidays away from home: an ofw christmas by beatrice del rosario, anakin loewes garcia, ronald manuel laylo, 1. your most memorable holiday with family, 2. why are holidays with family important, 3. an eco-friendly family holiday, 4. planning the best holiday destination, 5. camping for the holidays, 6. holidays on the beach, 7. history of spending holidays with family, 8. avoiding covid-19 while on holidays, 9. how to ensure a stree-free family holiday, 10. budget-friendly tips for holiday travels.

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“The confidence you bring — from listening to your body and being sure that you are allowed to feel however you want about your food choices — will do wonders for dealing with any criticism, comments or plate-policing from (mostly) well-meaning family members or people with their own food hang-ups.”

Planning what to bring or cook for a family holiday dinner may come with many anxieties and pressures, especially if you have critical family members. The article presents the thoughts of a psychotherapist and eating disorder expert who advises readers on how to best respect their own dietary needs and boundaries while embracing those of their families.

“During the holidays, people who otherwise avoid each other can be thrown together in family or social situations that force the issue. It can be painful to ask for forgiveness and risk rejection… but it’s something we sometimes have to accept.”

There’s no better gift to present to your family on holidays than forgiveness. In this article, psychology professor Robert Enright is interviewed to talk about the process of forgiveness, why people hold back from forgiving, and what helps people let go of their anger.

“Our vacations are NEVER dull. They usually entail at least one sick child/trip to the ER and one major catastrophe. It’s gotten to the point where we simply expect these things. As our pediatrician says, ‘I wish you people would just stay home.’”

Family holidays for this author cannot be complete without a disaster, from water-submerged diabetes testers to stolen backpacks and a kid getting wounded by a knife. Yet, despite these incidents, Weisenberg still sees the beauty in their travels, with its indelible memories outweighing any unfortunate event happening in all their family holiday travels.

“Instead of buying gifts for one another, we should be focused on creating memories with each other — an immaterial gift that will last far longer than this year’s Apple Watch.”

Instead of strengthening family bonds, many look forward to holidays to get a hand at things they’ve been meaning to buy. The article laments how the culture of consumerism and materialism has engulfed us, spoiling the true meaning of family holidays, wherein making memories together should suffice.

“OFWs sacrifice quality time with their loved ones by providing for them from afar. Each family has their own way of coping with that absence. Every shared moment, be it physically or through the aid of technology, encapsulates the spirit of Christmas for loved ones near and far.”

The article interviews overseas Filipino workers (OFWs) or those who sacrifice their time with loved ones to bring more income to their families. As Christmas has a special place in the hearts of all Filipinos, OFWs’ nostalgia is at its peak during this holiday when they cannot be home with family. OFWs in the article talk about their homesickness and how they cope at Christmas time.

Writing Prompts on Essays About Holidays With Family

Here is our round-up of creative prompts for your essay:

Essays About Holidays With Family: Your most memorable holiday with family

Describe your most memorable holiday with your family. Put in as many elements that made this holiday profoundly impact you. Then, for a more powerful effect, make the narration as vivid as you can, from the dining table filled with delectable food to how your siblings stifled a laugh upon seeing the neon sweater your aunt gave you as a present.

Aside from creating new memories that strengthen relationships, holidays with family can help you immerse in new cultures and experiences. Collate studies that investigate the impact of family holidays on one’s well-being. Summarize their findings and provide your analysis.

Environmentalists lambast the overindulgence that comes with holiday merry-making. Enumerate the holiday practices that are dangerous to the environment. Next, encourage families to strive for a green holiday instead of resisting the strong temptation of excess. Then, provide tips on how one can step up to reduce carbon footprint and care for Mother Nature.

Deciding which destination is best for your family will largely depend on the preference of each family member and your budget. Provide tips on how one can choose their destination and how one should prepare for this. Remind readers that they don’t have to spend too much for the “best” holiday destination. As long as families are together on this special day, that should mean more to them than anything else.

Camping is the best way to get close to nature while creating a stronger bond with parents, siblings, and relatives. Enumerate why camping is the best way to spend your holiday with family. You may also provide a list of essential things to bring when going on a camping trip.

Frolicking on the beach is not just the best way to beat the heat. It’s also an excellent way to spend the holidays with your family, especially if you have kids who love water activities — but who doesn’t? For this prompt, you can narrate your holiday spent on the beach with your family. You can also provide your reader with a list of the best beach spots in your country.

There are several national holidays around the world. The origin of each has its unique story that makes them all interesting and worth experiencing. Pick one or a few holiday celebrations, particularly those best spent with family. First, write about their history and how they earned the designation as holidays. Then, detail the family traditions that come with their celebration.

While many countries are now mask-free, COVID-19 remains to infect like wildfire in some places. List a few tips on how families can enjoy the holidays and be safe from COVID-19 or any raging virus. Examples could be encouraging readers to avoid COVID-19 hotspots, bringing antigen tests, and placing alcohol bottles within easy reach.

What makes one full of fidgets when a holiday with relatives is fast approaching? Is it the critical aunt who might notice your added weight or the thought of celebrating the holidays in a remote place without internet access? First, cite the most common sources of holiday stress. Then, offer recommendations on how to put aside the nervous energy before and during the holidays.

You may also interview some friends to know their major sources of family holiday anxieties. Then, find out how they overcome them.

Holidays can be expensive, but it doesn’t have to be. Write a list of tips on how one can spare extra cash for accommodation, public transport, and more. Remind your readers that holidays can be fun without pumping out a lot of cash. If you’re not into travel, you can focus on budget tips for holiday shopping.

For help with your essays, check out our round-up of the best essay checkers . If you are interested in learning more, check out our essay writing tips !

How to find - and survive - a holiday romance

Jan 27, 2020 • 5 min read

When you go on a solo adventure, you learn to expect the unexpected… but travelers rarely anticipate the unexpected could be a holiday or travel romance. It has happened to me several times, and while I’ve always found it rich and exciting, it has also taught me a few lessons about love on the road.

A couple hold hands walking on an urban sidewalk

I am a 30-year-old female traveler. The nomadic lifestyle I chose for myself a few years ago hasn’t allowed me to build long-lasting romantic relationships. I have lived in more countries and cities than I can recall, and fallen in and out of love along the way. I moved from a Couchsurfing community in Peru to a shared flat with friends in Germany , then backpacked across Japan (three times) to eventually start a business in Vietnam . To survive this emotional rollercoaster, I had to teach myself how to deal with the expectations travel romances create, as well as their bittersweet endings.

How does travel romance blossom?

It is easier than we think to find love while traveling; we are usually at the top of our game after all. More laid back, outside of our regular environment, far from the pressure of work and maybe the gaze of our friends and families, we break free from some of the restrictions we – consciously or not – put on ourselves at home. That’s usually how we make it possible for love to catch us off guard.

A couple laughs while carrying a picnic basket on the beach, dressed for a cold, drizzly day

Travel romances have always started for me at the most unexpected times. My first meaningful travel story started in Hualien , Taiwan and ended in Okinawa , Japan — with many winding turns and beautiful memories in between. I didn’t know he had been eyeing me from the first day; I only realized later that spending more time with him would enhance my journey, so I made my travel plans coincide with his. That’s how my happiest trip to Okinawa happened. If it hadn’t been for him, I would probably never have discovered so soon that Naha Island has such beautiful sunsets on the beach.

While a holiday romance can come in the form of a local, for me, it’s generally happened with other travelers for simple reasons: shared accommodation makes it easier to meet and the tourist sights help arrange a common schedule and more opportunity to get to know each other. Besides, I travel more often to countries where I can’t speak the language, which tends to limit my interactions with locals — maybe body language can suffice when it comes to some aspects of the romance, but personally, I still need a proper introduction!

What to expect from a holiday romance

The instability inherent to travel tends to make holiday romances very special; because they are limited in time and space, they are often an accelerated version of a traditional love story. You meet, you live, you part, sometimes in a timespan of a few days. From traveling solo, you suddenly jump into a full-on adventure with somebody, spending all your time with them while knowing you might only have a couple of days to enjoy their company. The setting only amplifies both the love and the location. Add the fact that short-lived romances are usually exempt from the pressure of tomorrow, and get ready for one of the most emotional journeys of your trip!

A couple on a scooter stop to look up at mural on the wall

When you encounter romance along the way, you must do two things: enjoy it as much as you can, and manage your expectations. One of my favorite things when my solo trip turns into a two-person holiday is the new dynamics it creates; the feeling of attraction with another person full of travel passion coupled with new momentum to enjoy activities that you might not have taken up on your own . It can create space for more exploration and, as our world is designed for duos, it has a practical advantage; you now become eligible to all these travel activities made for at least two.

Now for expectation management: it might sound unromantic but trust me, it will help you cope when facing the inevitable end of your love story. As strong as your feelings might be away from home with this undoubtedly beautiful person, it likely has a very real expiration date, often in the form of a ticket back home. So unless one of you, or both, are flexible enough to bend your travel plans (and it’s not that easy to decide), or feel like transforming your holiday romance into something more, it is very unlikely it will turn into a solid long-term relationship. That's a big leap of faith based on one brief, shared experience.

Couple backpacking in the mountains holding hands

You might have felt like you’ve never felt before. You might even have fallen in love. But a long-lasting relationship is built on persistence, actions, and consistency over time. Will you be able to demonstrate these to each other during only a few days or weeks on holiday?

What to do when travel romance ends

The end of a romance is never an easy transition. It is at best bittersweet, and at worst leaves you bursting into tears any moment — the result depends on how you manage your expectations. I have gone through bitterness, sadness, and a great deal of frustration after my own travel romances have ended because, whatever we say and however detached and self-sufficient we believe we are, we are all looking for love.

The writer, a young woman, sits on a boardwalk overlooking a river. There is a lush jungle and the remains of a temple gate in the background.

So what to do if your romance has come to an end and it seems the world has faded a little bit with it? What to do if, despite your desire to travel more, your heart aches? Well, there are not many choices: you will have to heal and move on. It hurts, and that's okay. The fact a chapter is ending doesn’t mean it wasn’t written. Love is going away, but it was there . And there is beauty in this.

If it made you feel good, if it made your heart grow, if you know those feelings you created will remain forever in your soul, honor your feelings and gracefully tuck them away in your memory box, right where they belong.

Do you still want to travel and see more? Well, the world is big enough! Don’t worry. You will love a person in some corner of the world and, rest assured, lasting love will come around eventually .

You might also like these:

Going it alone: top trips for solo travel 10 signs you’re travelling with ‘the one’ Pop the question at the world's best engagement destinations

This article was first published Nov 27, 2019 and updated Jan 27, 2020.

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A Beginner’s Guide to IELTS
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Describe a Memorable Holiday

Posted by David S. Wills | Jun 12, 2018 | IELTS Tips , Speaking | 0

Today I’m going to show you how to form a good answer for IELTS speaking part 2. I will show you how to analyze the question, make notes, and then give a satisfactory answer.

Here is the cue card we will use today:

Describe a memorable holiday . You should say: when you went on this holiday where you went what you did and explain why it is memorable.

Normally, there isn’t much analysis needed for an IELTS speaking part 2 cue card; however, you still have to be careful to ensure that you correctly understand the task.

Above, I have underlined “memorable holiday” because it is what you need to describe. This means that it must be a holiday you can remember well – either for good or bad reasons! It also is a holiday and not the destination . You can’t simply talk about Paris for 2 minutes.

Apart from that, follow the suggested talking points as they are helpful.

You should make useful notes to help you speak fluently for 2 minutes. Don’t waste time writing too much, and never attempt to write full sentences ! You will simply run out of time. You only have 1 minute to make notes.

That means you should just write ideas and key vocabulary.

Here are my example notes:

A Komodo Dragon

Indonesia Boat trip: Lombok -> Komodo Summer, 2016 Snorkeling, sightseeing, trekking Manta rays, komodo dragons, dolphins

Note that these only took a short time to write, but they are very useful for structuring a talk and reminding me of important words or phrases.

Sample Answer

Here is my sample answer to the above IELTS speaking part 2 question.

In the summer of 2016, I visited Indonesia. To begin with, I was travelling with my friend, but then I took a boat trip alone. The boat sailed from the island of Lombok to a place called Komodo National Park, which is famous for being the home of the Komodo dragon – an amazing species of lizard. We sailed for four days and four nights on rough seas, but it was a beautiful trip. In the day time you could just relax and watch the islands go by, and at night you could see an incredible number of stars. Sometimes the boat would stop and we could go swimming or snorkeling. I swam with manta rays, dolphins, giant moray eels, and countless other fish. Sometimes you could go trekking on remote islands and climb to the very top to see the astounding views. It was a memorable experience for me because of the exotic wildlife and stunning views, as well as the feeling of being on the sea at night, under all those stars. width="560" height="315" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen">

Notice how I included details about the trip without going off topic, and used descriptive language to express the things I saw and did. I also addressed all points on the cue card and used appropriate vocabulary and grammar.

About The Author

David S. Wills

David S. Wills is the author of Scientologist! William S. Burroughs and the 'Weird Cult' and the founder/editor of Beatdom literary journal. He lives and works in rural Cambodia and loves to travel. He has worked as an IELTS tutor since 2010, has completed both TEFL and CELTA courses, and has a certificate from Cambridge for Teaching Writing. David has worked in many different countries, and for several years designed a writing course for the University of Worcester. In 2018, he wrote the popular IELTS handbook, Grammar for IELTS Writing and he has since written two other books about IELTS. His other IELTS website is called IELTS Teaching.

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France Confronts Horror of Rape and Drugging Case as 51 Men Go on Trial

A man is accused of drugging his wife and then inviting dozens of men to rape her over almost a decade. The questions raised by the case have unsettled the country.

By Catherine Porter and Ségolène Le Stradic

Reporting from Paris

For years, she had been losing hair and weight. She had started forgetting whole days, and sometimes appeared to be in dreamlike trances. Her children and friends worried she had Alzheimer’s.

But in late 2020, after she was summoned to a police station in southern France, she learned a far more shattering story.

Her husband of 50 years, Dominique Pelicot, had been crushing sleeping pills into her food and drink to put her into a deep sleep, the police said, and then raping her. He had ushered dozens of men into her home to film them raping her, too, they said, in abuse that lasted nearly a decade.

Using the man’s photographs, videos and online messages, the police spent the next two years identifying and charging those other suspects.

On Monday, 51 men, including Mr. Pelicot, went on trial in Avignon, in a case that has shocked France and cast a spotlight on the use of drugs to commit sexual abuse and the broader culture in which such crimes could occur.

The accused men represent a kaleidoscope of working-class and middle-class French society: truck drivers, soldiers, carpenters and trade workers, a prison guard, a nurse, an I.T. expert working for a bank, a local journalist. They range in age from 26 to 74. Many have children and are in relationships.

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3 Tips for Writing a Holiday Romance Novel
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Top 10 Reasons to Write a Holiday Romance
6. Baby please come home. Holidays are the perfect time for forgiveness, so second chance romances make a lot of sense to set during this time of year. This is your chance to write about an old flame or burying the hatchet. 7. Joy to the world, begrudgingly. This is what comes to mind for me when I think about the holidays.
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HOLIDAY ROMANCE - IN FOUR PARTS. PART I - INTRODUCTORY ROMANCE PROM THE PEN OF WILLIAM TINKLING, ESQ. (Aged eight.) THIS beginning-part is not made out of anybody's head, you know. It's real. You must believe this beginning-part more than what. comes after, else you won't understand how what comes after came to. be written.
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The winter holidays are, of course, commonly associated with romance, and so that's the focus of author Jenny Bayliss 's advice (as well as her latest novel). Bayliss has three key suggestions for authors looking to write a holiday romance, which you can read at Writer's Digest. Categories: Behind the scenes.
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The Painful Fantasy of Holiday Romances
They've felt more of a painful fantasy to me than anything else. I don't think I'll ever be a holiday romance fan, and that's okay. Though I will admit the saturation of holiday romances around this time feels a bit like salt in a wound - hence this post. What about you? Do you experience similar frustrations with holiday romances?
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A Holiday Romance. Filed Under: Essays Tagged With: romance. 1 page, 316 words. Like many other people I dream to get away from it all for a while and to soothe away stress. I can't say what type of a holiday-maker I am, because I may feel happy about anything which gives me an opportunity to relax my body, renew my energy and refresh my spirits.
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108 books based on 71 votes: In a Holidaze by Christina Lauren, This Is Not a Holiday Romance by Camilla Isley, Haunt Your Heart Out by Amber Roberts, Wr...
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Looking for an interesting topic for your next essay? Check out our top essays about holidays with family and a list of prompts for inspiration.
A Holiday Romance
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How to find
How to find - and survive - a holiday romance. When you go on a solo adventure, you learn to expect the unexpected… but travelers rarely anticipate the unexpected could be a holiday or travel romance. It has happened to me several times, and while I've always found it rich and exciting, it has also taught me a few lessons about love on the ...
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A Holiday Romance - A superintendent must fire the town's favorite music teacher to meet budget cuts. But a romance grows between them, and through the power...
Describe a Memorable Holiday
Describe a memorable holiday. You should say: when you went on this holiday. where you went. what you did. and explain why it is memorable. Normally, there isn't much analysis needed for an IELTS speaking part 2 cue card; however, you still have to be careful to ensure that you correctly understand the task. Above, I have underlined ...
Essay on Holiday for Students and Children
500+ Words Essay on Holiday Holidays are very important parts of everyone's life, be it a student or a working person. Everyone deserves to take a break from the monotony to rejuvenate and maintain their health. Holidays help us do exactly that.
France Confronts Horror of Rape and Drugging Case as 51 Men Go on Trial
A man is accused of drugging his wife and then inviting dozens of men to rape her over almost a decade. The questions raised by the case have unsettled the country. By Catherine Porter and ...