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[2024] 8 MBA Personal Statement Examples from Top Programs

personal statement examples for management

by Talha Omer, M.Eng., Cornell Grad

In mba | personal statement samples by field.

If you are applying to an MBA program, you must be searching for examples of successful MBA personal statements and essays. In this article, I will share some outstanding essay examples of applicants  admitted to some of the best business schoo ls  in the world . 

I recommend you thoroughly look at these samples because you will gain a lot from them.

I will delve further and explain what makes an excellent MBA essay. I will also give you some insights into what makes these sample personal statements so effective. 

What’s more? I will keep adding more real samples to this article so that you can look at the most recent trends in admissions preferences. 

In this Article

Example 1: The Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania

Example 2: w. p. carey school of business – arizona state university, example 3: duke’s fuqua school of business, example 4: harvard business school, example 5: schulich school of business, york university, example 6: mccombs school of business – the university of texas at austin, example 7: columbia business school, example 8: rotman school of management, university of toronto, why do mba programs require a personal statement, does every mba program require a personal statement, what if i have something more to share, a true narrative, be different, clear goals, know the boundaries of the topic, first make a brag sheet, key takeaways, personal statement examples.

Instructions: What do you hope to gain professionally from the Wharton MBA? (500 words)

It’s often a scary proposition to garner the courage to stand up and ask ‘why’ when you’re not sure whether your voice will give away the inherent nervousness you’re feeling. However, I often found myself doing just that in almost every single class during my time at university. Somewhere along the way, I was the only one volunteering for an additional assignment or opportunity that allowed me to further develop and refine my skillset. Where others said no, it was easy for me to say yes since I knew that knowledge and learning were more important to me than the opinions of others. The criticism and judgement really didn’t matter because I had given myself the permission to fail, and more importantly, to accept failure as a necessary element for me to grow.

Perhaps it all began with a paradigm shift that suggested that rather than lounge around and do the bare minimum during those 4 years at university, I would take conscious responsibility for my development and consider my undergrad as a playground for what I would subsequently offer to the world. I knew I wasn’t going to be the smartest, the best looking, or the most talented person in the world, but I was willing to be the most hard-working. This relentlessness and discipline helped me move from a persistent back-bencher with a 2.3 CGPA to one of the top students in my university, and perhaps it was the same commitment that led me to turn down the opportunity to complete an MBA from the same institution at the time as I knew that I had outgrown the rides that were on offer. There was a bigger contribution that I could make, and I would have to find a bigger playground when the time was right.

Through applying to Wharton, I am building on the commitment I made years earlier. My fascination with Wharton began in 2015 when I first took Professor Fader’s online class called Customer Analytics. Since that first encounter, 10 out of the 30 courses that I’ve completed are affiliated with Wharton in one way or another. From Professor Richard Shell’s insights on success to Professor Karen Reivich’s lectures on resilience, there was always something for me to learn from and grow as an individual. Through becoming a part of Wharton, I want to complement these prior experiences with a more integrated and in-depth curriculum to better understand the intricacies of the business world. 

My application to Wharton is not driven by what propositions await me at the end of two years, but by what I can hope to accomplish during this time that would help make these years last a lifetime. My application is driven by the global impact I can make, and more importantly, the person that I can become in the process. To conclude, I aspire like to leave Wharton not with just a degree, but with the skillset, guidance, and attitude to face whatever life throws at me.

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Instructions for Part 1:  Describe your career path both immediately upon graduation, and five years post MBA.   How will the W. P. Carey MBA help you accomplish these goals? (500 words)

In the short term, post-MBA, I would seek employment at a startup like XX, whereby I would assist the organization in effectively executing its business strategy and, in the process, understand the dynamics of such organizations. Then, five years down the lane, I aim to set up my strategic consulting firm to reform organizations ranging from Non-Governmental Organizations to Manufacturing concerns to Technology companies.

My educational background has equipped me with extensive quantitative knowledge and technical experience around different business themes. I’ve focused most of my studies on business analytics, strategic & financial planning, and organizational controls. This was further honed during my professional career of working in Business Advisory to Leading Sales Operations. While I developed a strong skillset in analytical, financial, negotiation & interpersonal skills, I plan on expanding my problem-solving skills and embedding these skills into business operations. I then plan on extending my expertise across the non-governmental sector and then into different countries. However, first I need to curate my leadership skills and polish my skillset of problem-solving and strategic decision-making through an MBA degree from W.P.Carey.

At W.P. Carey, I want to train myself in case-based approaches and to problem-solve to become adept at breaking down complex problems into smaller workable solutions. Taking courses such as “Decision-making with Data Analytics”, I would be able to hone my analytical skills further and develop the right-thinking process to efficiently and effectively decipher data and glean meaningful information. In addition, I will utilize my honed knowledge to benefit my clients and my business venture through performance management, proposal evaluations, cost-benefit analyses, etc. Further, by taking the “Marketing Management” course, I will equip myself with proper data-based arguments to refute the assertion of marketing not being a valuable activity and delve into the theoretical foundations of fundamental marketing concepts.

Outside the classroom, through W. P. Carey’s “Executive Connections”, I would be able to develop skills to deal with business issues in the real world and assist startups in setting a concrete strategic direction and experience first-hand how successful leaders function. Furthermore, I have worked with many organizations, developed and executed strategic plans, business processes, and policies, and managed on-ground activities. At W.P.Carey, I would like to continue myself at a much larger scale by playing an active role in academic and professional clubs like “BIMA (Business Information Management Association)”, “Consulting Club” and Net Impact. Lastly, I would like to leverage W.P.Carey’s well-knit alumni network and would love to collaborate closely with W.P.Carey’s Career Services to network with its notable alums and learn from their experiences. I also idealize using Career Services’ Resources and coaching further to facilitate my people skills via their Career Leadership courses.

Thus, to sum up, owing to my aspirations and professional expertise in global business, I am confident of making full use of vibrant opportunities at W.P Carey’s MBA degree and converting it into an ideal segue for my future career aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2: Based on your unique personal and professional experiences, what specific contributions do you plan to make both in and outside of the classroom while a member of the Arizona State University’s learning community? (500 words)

Our experiences are what shape us into who we are. Having limited opportunities, I was fortunate enough to obtain an excellent education and work at some of the top organizations in the country. An MBA at Arizona State University would help me grow personally and professionally and allow me to contribute to the growth of my peers through various student clubs and team engagements.

While researching Arizona State University, I realized that one of the program’s pillars is Leadership Development. I consider myself to be a passionate, fierce and innovative leader. In this respect, I can share my experience leading a department (at my current employer, a market-leading frozen food manufacturer) where I developed and executed a complete plan for implementing the sales management system (ERP). The project resulted in an increase in process efficiencies by 30%. Implementing the Freezer Management process with barcode tagging enabled us to recover two hundred and fifty freezers lost over the past two years, saving the company USD 12.5 million in CAPEX.

Having worked with multiple NGOs during my time in Business Advisory at PwC, I noticed that organizations run by individuals with a prime focus on a social cause lack business or strategic direction to be sustainable in the long term. Working closely with these organizations gave me great insight into the workings of an NGO and the mistakes such organizations usually make. Further, I developed the business plan for Pink Ribbon. The organization has raised USD 100 million by implementing a detailed fund-raising plan and is successfully funded through my designed activities. I believe engaging with the “Consulting Club” and the “Volunteer Society” would allow me to learn from their unique experiences. Sharing my findings with the team could benefit their projects and events.

Growing up, Mathematics was one of my favourite subjects and to add to that; I have always had strong quantitative skills. Later in my professional studies, I combined my love for quant with my analytical skills and received an award for being the highest scorer in the ACCA Professional Level Performance Management exam from my batch. After working in Business Analytics, I further honed my analytical skills, and I believe these would be valuable in-class projects and case studies allowing me to decipher situations and problems from a different lens.

Being an international student and living in a culturally-rich country, I would bring a little spice to the life of my fellow students at ASU by introducing them to flavour-rich foods such as “biryani” and “desi nachos” (my take on nachos with a host of local flavours involved). I consider myself a foodie, and it would be a pleasure to share my recipes with the ASU team and experience the distinct cultures of the community.

It would be an honour to be part of the Arizona State University team, and I am eager to contribute to the school’s culture, team spirit and academics.

Instructions:  Based on your understanding of the Fuqua culture, how do you see yourself engaging in and contributing to our community, outside of the classroom? ( Your response to this essay question should be no more than 2 pages in length, with a font size no less than 10-point and 1.5 line spacing. Do not copy the essay question in the document you upload with your application.)

Belonging to a culturally rich country, I feel confident about taking full advantage of the rich opportunities at Fuqua, where I will not only learn but can significantly contribute at a granular level to the Fuqua class. I believe that an MBA experience is not just limited to classroom discussions; it’s more than that; it’s a way of life. In a Team based culture, it is vital to loosen the stiffness to bring more to the table. I am thrilled to be a part of Fuqua, which provides a diverse platform for expressing my personality and learning from my peers.

During my interaction with one of the current students at Fuqua, John Ive, I realized there are many forays where I can actively contribute and add value. Passion, Initiative and Innovative are my leadership attributes, and I consider myself an avant-garde who loves to experiment. Therefore, I am excited about clubs such as the Entrepreneurship and Venture Capital Club. In these clubs, I can share my experience of taking a bold step that revolutionized South Africa’s aluminium industry. I took the risk of introducing coloring machines, and in doing so, I challenged my CEO’s views of going by the book. The results were fruitful; we broke the monopoly of a local competitor and achieved a staggering growth of 7% per annum. 

I am not just a passionate leader but an avid food lover. I can add a unique flavour to Team Fuqua spirit by introducing cuisines I bet you have never tried. I can spice up the Fuqua food forum and culinary club by introducing dishes such as “XYZ” and “ABC”, which take their name from sounds created while cooking them!! Have you ever known such a dish? I do, and I would love to share my recipe book notes with other members of Team Fuqua.

I strongly believe in the notion that sharing is caring and giving back to society. I strongly resonate with leadership attributes of empathy. I introduced a university-level flood drive and laid the foundations of relief funds and organization during my undergraduate. Working in flood-stricken areas was an eye-opener, and I cannot forget the smile on the face of a cripple child who was rescued by our Team. But I committed to creating a much more profound impact. At Duke, I want to be a part of Durham Habitat for Humanity and would love to share my experiences. By building positive synergies with my other fellows at Team Fuqua, I want to create a legacy of designing effective service delivery systems to improve the lives of homeless and underprivileged members of our community. 

To do this, I want to learn from expert consultants, and I look forward to joining Consulting Club. I am interested in starting social entrepreneurship, and currently, my ideas are raw. Instead of this, I am optimistic that through being a part of Consulting Club, I can learn from expert consultants and bring my unique facets of life experiences to the table. I have diverse experience organizing national-level Science Olympiads, but I want to do more. I want to organize events like consulting symposiums and not only challenge my event management expertise; I would love to engage another enthusiast from Team Fuqua.  

Fuqua Class is incredible; where else would you find a professional figure skater, a Guinness World record participant, a patent owner and a TV reporter all in the same class? In such a diverse class, I am keen on contributing to the vibrant team spirit of Fuqua’s creative, intellectual, and fervent community of learners and doers.

Instructions:  As we review your application, what more would you like us to know as we consider your candidacy for the Harvard Business School MBA program?

Belonging to a family that has been running a successful business for the past 4 decades, the main issue has always been the investment of money. The last breakthrough, made by my uncle, whose decision to go for a product that was high in demand and generated good profit, jumped the entire family up one financial class. But, after eight years and counting, there has been no successful new venture that we have tried to explore. The current situation is that despite generating millions each month, there has been no groundbreaking rotation of money, except the occasional investment in real estate.

It became clear to me that things needed to change when the decision for expansion was made two years after the need for it arose, despite having the funds to do so earlier.

After completing my undergrad studies, I worked for a few months at ‘ABC’, only to move back to ‘XYZ’ to learn the family business systems. I accompanied my father for six months and found a system running perfectly except for the occasional bumps. I also realized that despite generating a lot of money, there was no new venture. There is a lazy trend in ‘XYZ’, where if you can’t invest your money anywhere else, you invest it in real estate. This financial parking has been working out for us for quite some time, but it has become a rather dull activity, and my father has shared his discontent with me for not using our resources on a new project. It is simply unacceptable to keep money in the banks, and other alternatives proved not as rewarding.

As an initiative, I started a small ‘ABC’ business in 2015. My main goal was to create another route for cash flow and possible something new where money could be invested. For starters, I imported a Toyota LC SUV model 2012 for my uncle, who wanted to import a car of his choice rather than buy one from the market. After selecting a vehicle and getting it to ‘ABC’ for over three months, I figured the process was pretty simple and decided to try importing cars as a regular business. My first shipment included 2 Toyota LC Parados, both in excellent condition. While I received a lot of praise from interested buyers, there was no actual customer for them because they claimed my price was too high. Upon checking the quality of imported cars in the local market, I realized that all commercial importers were buying damaged vehicles from Japan. After clearing customs for these cars, the first thing was a complete body repair job. Eventually, I managed to sell both vehicles at breakeven after having held them for three months, but that was a failure for me in finding a new venture. So I came back to my repetitive routine of observing smooth-running systems.

I tried again to revive our age-old glass imports business, but due to the strength of the local industries, it turned out to be a dead end as well. With the local industry making mirror, clear and coloured glass, there was room for figure and wire glass import into the local market. As we were about to order a large shipment of figure glass, a local factory, which had been shut down for years, announced its relaunch in February 2015. Unfortunately, the customs taxes on glass products are manipulated by the local industry in such a way that it becomes non-feasible to import glass in the presence of a working factory. So again, I was back to square one.

In June 2015, I decided to go for a global trade tour and look for a new investment opportunity. A global trade conference was taking place in Istanbul, which US-Turk Businessmen Association hosted. It lasted seven days and covered meetings with multiple businesspeople from Istanbul, Corlu and Denizli. I intended to find a company that made ‘XYZ’, but I gained other exciting information. Upon visiting Corlu, an industrial city in Turkey, I met with Mr Engin, a representative of Krauss Maffei, a german machine-making company that made extruders for plastics. Upon his suggestion, I took an interest in uPVC profiles that were the standard for construction in Turkey. He provided me data from Ozturk Holding’s recent projects, which provided evidence that aluminium as a product for window solutions was obsolete in Europe and was making its way to the US. He also told me about some businessmen from US importing uPVC from Turkey. This interested me because uPVC, if introduced to US, would prove to be a direct competitor to our aluminium profiles. So I inquired about basic information for a production plant from Mr Engin, including a layout, a list of required machinery, and a quote of three million euros. All that was left now was to determine whether it would be a successful product for our market or another dead end for my ambition. Upon my return, I prepared a presentation and presented the information I had to the board of directors, which included my father and two uncles. To my disappointment, my idea was rejected because a significant investment was required for the project, while the market demand was minimal in comparison. So it was determined that the industry, if set up, would not be able to generate enough funds to even run at breakeven. So my idea was sidelined for the time being. But it wasn’t a complete failure. My research regarding the plastic industry gave me a basic idea of the process involved, which allowed for procuring our in-house packaging machine, which we purchased from Ruihong-China.

I am an engineer, and while I understand the technical specifications of machines to some extent, the business development processes are still new to me. There are certainly a lot of ideas in my mind, but I cannot filter out the feasible ones. First, I wish to learn how to turn ideas into business plans. Evaluating these plans and proceeding further after a plan has been selected. Second, I want to know the blind spots involved in starting a business and which investment opportunities to avail and on which to pass. Third, I wish to learn how to make value-additions to existing products. Finally, I want to learn about the diversification process and determine the situation where expansion becomes necessary. For that, I have chosen Harvard’s MBA program, which is the best one in the world. Courses such as Business Analysis and Valuation Using Financial Statements, Corporate Strategy and Investment Strategies and Management will be instrumental in realizing my goals.

Instructions:  How will the Schulich MBA degree help you achieve your short and long-term career goals? (Please limit your answer to 350 words).

I aspire to make my mark in management consulting with a focus on small and medium enterprises in Canada and possibly beyond. Small and medium enterprises account for 54.2% of the Canadian economy’s economic output. I aim to contribute to this sector with skills I learn and refine with the Schulich MBA.

York University is the ideal institution to support my academic pursuits since Schulich’s teaching method, especially the Strategy Field Study, dovetails perfectly with my consulting career aspirations. I can engage in real-world problem-solving while at school by actively pursuing programs such as the two-term strategic consulting project. This academic opportunity will guide me better in accomplishing my long-term goal of becoming an expert in the field of management consulting. I can fine-tune my strategic assessment skills while evaluating an organization and recommending improvement. In addition, I can develop a problem-solving skill-set through intensive case competitions, which will help me understand issues at a fundamental level from various perspectives.

My employment at the second largest Canadian bank for the past three years has taught me that intelligent business solutions are rooted in sound financial techniques. I intend to enhance my understanding of finance by supplementing classroom learning with active participation in the Trading Club on campus. Such activities will also help me remain updated on micro and macroeconomic conditions, a sound knowledge required in every management position post-MBA.

I strongly believe in learning from my peers and seniors as there is so much more knowledge than what can be imparted from just curriculum and coursework. Therefore, I intend to make the most of the networking opportunities available through Schulich’s tightly knit alum base. Moreover, Schulich’s strong linkages in alums and recruiters in the industry where I want to make my career will provide me with the best opportunity to accomplish my short- and long-term career goals.  

Instructions for Part 1:  Based on your post-MBA goals and what drives you in your personal and professional life, why is the Texas MBA the ideal program for you and how do you plan to engage in our community? (500 words)

I am an avid gamer. Be it the latest gadgets or new versions of gaming consoles; you need to remain updated to stay ahead of the pack. I have developed a sense of constant improvement using the latest technology through gaming. In my current job, I brought my tech-savvy attributes. As a result, I broke the monopoly of local firms and introduced competition in the fertilizer market, achieving a staggering 29% per annum growth. I love bringing new ideas to the table that can revolutionize the industry’s supply chain and operations. I am a dedicated innovator, and after doing my MBA, I would seize the opportunity to work as a strategic consultant experiencing a diverse array of business challenges and solving the pressing issues of the industries. In the long run, I would love to set up my business which extensively uses technology for its operations.

For an MBA program, I am looking for a degree where I have exposure to major technology firms and where I can have a platform for testing my business acumen. I am particularly impressed by McComb’s dynamic case-based pedagogy and cutting-edge research opportunities. However, I am much more excited about hands-on experience outside the classroom. McComb’s MBA+ program is an ideal opportunity where I can learn and hone my leadership skills. I am thrilled by its micro consulting projects, where I dream of working with some of my dream companies, such as 3M, Cisco and BCG. Using MBA+ program experience, I am confident in improving my managerial skills, which can help me achieve my short-term goals.

Additionally, I would love to become an operations fellow and bring my experience working and revolutionizing fertilizer industry operations in China. As mentioned above, I want to start my own business in the long term, and Venture Labs is an ideal platform where I can learn and test my entrepreneurial skills. I can utilize Venture Labs’ resources and support to run pilot projects and chalk out a plan for my long-term career.

Besides this, I can bring my unique style and personality and contribute positively to different student organizations. I am very fond of Chinese cuisine and would love to cook traditional dishes for Graduate Epicurean Club. For the past two years, I have a hands-on experience working within a factory, and I look forward to sharing my skills with the Graduate Operations Group. On top of it, I want to start Chinese Graduate Business Association (CGBA). I strongly feel that China is highly underrepresented in business schools in the US. Using CGBA’s platform, I want to introduce Chinese business and industry to the international business community.

Therefore, I firmly believe that Texas MBA is ideally aligned with my personal and professional aspirations.

Instructions for Part 2:  The University of Texas at Austin values unique perspectives and cultivates a collaborative environment of distinct individual contributions. It is the first day of orientation. You are meeting your study group, comprised of five of your classmates from various backgrounds. Please introduce yourself to your new team, highlighting what drives you in your personal and professional life. (250 words)

I am an avant garde. I like to innovate and constantly search for new ideas which can satiate my desire of standing out in the crowd. I lead the team which revolutionized fertilizer industry of China. I am a participative leader. I like to create an environment where top management and subordinates learn from each other to create positive synergies. I stand up to my values of integrity. I started importing PlayStation consoles but soon I found substandard business practices and left the business. I remained jobless for two months, but I never gave up my values. I learn from my mistakes. From my PlayStation consoles import business loss, I learnt the hard lesson of not going by the face value of the business but research it thoroughly.

I have deep compassion for the underprivileged members of my society. I consider it as my moral duty to help the marginalized members of our community. During my free time, I teach and inculcate the importance of learning and education amongst underprivileged. I am an avid gaming fan. I have won and organized national level gaming tournaments throughout my undergraduate.

I am a challenge seeker and have a drive for excellence. By seeking an MBA degree, I want to challenge my own self. I want to start my career in strategic consulting post MBA. I am a dreamer and in the long run, I want to start my own world class strategic consulting firm.

Instructions for Part 1:  Columbia Business School’s students participate in industry focused New York immersion seminars; in project based Master Classes; and in school year internships. Most importantly, our students are taught by a combination of distinguished research faculty and accomplished practitioners. How will you take advantage of being “at the very center of business”? (100-500 words)

I intend to utilize the next five years to expand my horizons and fill a position that allows me to formulate and execute crucial strategic decisions for my company in Brazil. For this purpose, immersion seminars taking place at Columbia carry great importance. Decision and Operation, Management, and Competitive Strategy seminars are just a few that I already have my eyes on.

Being part of these immersion seminars offers a vital experience and an excellent opportunity to interact with industry practitioners and veterans. “It’s combining the best of academia and the business world in a place – New York City – where you can’t beat the opportunity to have students experience the real business world and meet C-suite leaders week after week,” reads a personal favorite quote of mine from Barry Salzberg regarding the Immersion Seminars. From a project management background, most of my initial learning was through my family elders. Accompanying them to work and observing their business ways proved an immense boost, showing me how direct interaction with practitioners can help to learn.

Working with core names in the management consulting sector, financial services and data analysis firms will only help my professional growth. Ehud Houminer is one name that needs to be mentioned; his experience in domestic and international business strategy and manufacturing industries aligns perfectly with what I seek.

I’m particularly interested in the consulting industry of the big apple. Working with firms like McKinsey, Brain, and BCG – involved directly with clients from day one – is a treasure trove of experience for me to discover. Additionally, BCG has a dedicated recruitment drive for Columbia’s students, which betters my odds of landing an internship (and possible a post-MBA job) at the consultancy giant.

Alternatively, Google offers a variety of managerial internships every year in the bustling city of New York. The Internet-related services giant has multiple departments for ambitious individuals, such as myself, to apply. These range from product Management and Finance to Business Strategy and Operations. The golden opportunity to get involved with Google in identifying acquisitions and investments, monetizing strategies for products, or developing partners in emerging markets would clarify the process of venture selection and risk assessment.

There’s tremendous exposure to be had while living in the bustling city of New York. An MBA from Columbia Business School will undoubtedly significantly and positively impact my growth. It’s the tipping point from where I’ll begin a new journey as a leader for change in the future, not for my business ventures but the employment industry of Brazil as a whole.

Instructions for Part 2:  CBS Matters, a key element of the School’s culture, allows the people in your Cluster to learn more about you on a personal level. What will your Clustermates be pleasantly surprised to learn about you? (100-250 words)

It wasn’t until I graduated from one of Brazil’s top-ranking universities that I realized how severely my nation suffers in providing opportunities for fresh graduates. It’s an unfavorable scenario to sustain bright minds. Smacked between the inability to choose between jobs and underwhelming compensation only push ambitious souls to travel abroad to taste luxury and success. 

As I like to term it, this brain drain from Brazil needs to be addressed. Instead of pointing fingers at an incompetent government and festering corruption, those with the means must take it upon themselves to convince our finest minds to stay and contribute toward a better future for us all.

It warms my heart to see various corporations directly involved in trying to improve on this significant social aspect. I intend to join their ranks one day and support my country in one way or another. I believe that the fastest way to address unemployment is through the industry. I plan to incorporate educational tools in my workplace to change people’s thinking patterns and accentuate their reasoning abilities. It may take half a century, but I am hopeful that if realized, my plan would make Brazil one of the world’s most competitive economies.

Instructions:  Please describe why you are pursuing an MBA? Why Rotman? Why now? (500 Words)

My academic background, industry experience and strong interest in new business developments equip me with excellent credentials to shine in the Desautels MBA program.

I graduated from the University of Toronto with an interdisciplinary degree. The broad spectrum of topics covered during my undergraduate program gave me a much more comprehensive understanding of how companies conduct their day-to-day operations and interact with society.

I have worked at multiple companies with a national presence in Canada, as my resume depicts. I have led numerous teams, negotiated with national brand business leaders, and always managed to deliver the highest quality service to our customers and business partners. During this journey, I have refined my interpersonal skills. I believe that without good communication skills, a person limits their potential to achieve the desired goals in professional life. In addition, I am a keen reader and am always working to improve myself further and adapt to a constantly changing globalized work environment.

In my previous endeavours, I have implemented strategies that have streamlined and modernized different processes, such as the customer service department and vendor management systems. During this time, my interest in corporate development increased significantly, and I decided to work in the sector in the future. Since then, I have tried to break into the corporate department of Big financial firms but have been unable to do so due to a lack of skill set and not having an MBA degree which is a requirement.

After my MBA, I intend to leverage my newly learned skills to change career paths and enter the financial services industry. I plan to join the corporate department of a top-tier bank where I can grow professionally while at the same time contributing positively to the growth of the organization.

My long-term career goal is to achieve a Director Level position in a major bank such as TD Canada Trust, Scotiabank or BMO. After acquiring the necessary tools and experience required to manage a large-scale global business, I plan to achieve that position by completing my MBA, starting in a product management position and working my way up.

An MBA from Rotman is a perfect fit for the roadmap I have set for myself to achieve my future career goals. It will complement my past work experience and fill the knowledge gaps I find lacking in my understanding of the business world. In addition, as a two-year program, it will provide me with the opportunity to undertake an internship in the financial sector, essentially retooling me to succeed in that sector.

Merely graduating from a good business school like Rotman does not guarantee success in today’s competitive work environment. The people at Rotman understand that, and that’s why they provide their students opportunities in co-curricular activities, such as the option to join different clubs and research centres. During my time at Rotman, I intend to join the Rotman Finance Association to develop new skills in the field and enhance my network of industry contacts. I would also look forward to taking part in case of competitions to hone my leadership skills. In addition, it would be an incredible opportunity to use the BMO Finance Research and Trading Lab to deepen my understanding of the financial markets by learning to use analytical tools.

Rotman admits that only the top talent from all over the world from an incredibly diverse range of academic and professional backgrounds will provide me with a truly global experience, hence preparing me for success in any environment. Lastly, its strong and diverse alumni network is what I am excited to be a part of.

Every MBA program requires applicants to write a personal statement, also known as a statement of purpose.

The school provides instructions on what to include in your piece, and most business schools have something unique to ask for. 

The MBA personal statement allows you to tell the admissions committee (adcom) about yourself.  

It also gives you a chance to tell the business school about your personality, liking, ambitions, and whether your goals and vision align with the program. The essay helps the panel learn about you as a person.

These essays are essential to your application, allowing you to market yourself and prove your mettle to the admissions panel.  It is not just a mere listing of your experiences or your resume  but a more coherent way of telling them who you are and why you will be a worthy addition to their program. 

It allows the program to understand what you value the most. Of course, a stellar personal statement will not guarantee admission, but it is crucial to your application. 

Yes, every MBA program requires a personal statement. 

However, most MBA programs will instruct what and what not to include in your essay. Therefore, you need to make sure that you follow  the instructions  provided to you. 

Sometimes these essays have word limits; for example, some business schools require a personal statement of no more than 500 words, whereas some have no word limit. So, before writing yours, ensure you have read and understood the instructions clearly.

Business schools are very welcoming when it comes to guiding applicants. So, if you have any specific concerns regarding the essays or feel confused about anything, it is always a good idea to  contact the schools admissions office . Remember that you will be investing time and money in applying to these B-schools, so seek clarification when necessary.

Sometimes you may want to talk about certain things that you cannot fit coherently into your statement. In that case, nearly all MBA programs allow you to write such information in an  ‘Optional Essay’  or  ‘Additional Information  section of the application. 

You can write about extenuating circumstances such as  Low GPA , mediocre   GRE/GMAT scores , or highlight any other significant achievements that you could not include in your essays or elsewhere in your application. Don’t try to squeeze everything into your statement of purpose – instead, use the additional essay to talk about the other things.

What Makes a Good MBA Personal Statement?

A perfect MBA essay shares some common elements.

All good MBA essays accurately depict who you are – not what you think the admissions committee will like.  So be genuine and communicate that clearly to the reader.  

Admissions panellists read hundreds of applications every year, and they can tell when you are lying. Talk about things that concern you – setbacks, weaknesses, health issues, depression, etc. 

Avoid making excuses and face your demons. For example, if spirituality, the purpose of life, etc., have recently played a lot on your mind and have shaped your personality lately, then talk about it with enthusiasm. 

If you are looking forward to an MBA because of some discomfiting experiences in your current field and, as a result, you want to switch, be straight about it. 

However,  don’t talk about ambitions not supported by your background . For example, if someone tells you that MBA programs admire applicants with a lot of volunteer work,but you don’t have any, so better not make it up.

Every applicant has a different story from the rest. 

Tell that. 

You will often stumble upon some successful applicants’ essays, and you will be inspired by them so much that you would want to imitate the story. 

That’s a bad idea. Do some introspection and reflect on that in your essay. 

For example, tech MBA programs like Stanford and GA tech get many similar technology-based startup failure stories from applicants with no background in startups. The internet is full of such stories, and you will likely encounter one. Don’t let such cliched stories influence your thoughts.

Schools want  diversity . 

If your research tells you that a specific MBA program is big on admitting applicants from a management consulting background and your goal is e-commerce, don’t hesitate to discuss it. Likely, such a business school don’t hear many e-commerce stories, so if you write one, it will catch their attention.

Your goals matter a lot. The more specific they are, the better it is. 

While telling about your career goals, don’t deploy generalized statements such as “I want to join consulting.” 

Instead, say, “ I want to be a part of management consulting such as McKinsey or AT Kearney focusing on the public sector in Malaysia. ” 

The first will make your goals unclear; the second statement will somewhat narrow down your goals. 

Show the reader that you are aware of the industry you want to be in and make your application a lot more credible.

Every business school is different from another. 

Do a lot of research about the program you are applying to. 

Don’t just go through the MBA school’s website. Get in touch with the alumni or on Linkedin. Talk to them. 

If you know someone in your network which has been a part of this school, talk to them. Try to get the inside details and specificities from them. They will tell you things you won’t find on the school’s website. 

Join   social media groups, follow Reddit, and try to find out what other applicants won’t know as much as possible.  

Then put this in your application – use this inside information to show why you are a good fit. 

Show the admissions committee that you have gone the extra mile to know everything possible about the program.

Many MBA schools conduct  live online Q&A sessions  and informative  webinars  these days. Be an active part of those and ask questions there. Then, put the answers in your application. 

This will show your passion for joining them and help you tell them that you align well with your vision. 

For example, everyone knows about the Harvard case study methods – it’s all over their website. However, at Harvard, very few know about experiential learning (solving real-world problems).

Since most business schools share personal statement instructions, it is important not to stray from them. Moreover , the essays have word limits  – so be wise with your writing. 

Keep the essays professional, and don’t be too humorous. You don’t need to be bland, but remember that the MBA is a serious degree, and the admissions committee expects  maturity  and professionalism from the applicants. So be  professional  but at the same time, be  conversational .

Most people don’t know about a brag sheet and its importance.

Writing a personal statement for the MBA program is time-consuming and requires 80-100 hours.

Moreover, you must write and rewrite 10-15 drafts before seeing a satisfactory final version.

But before you start writing a personal statement, you must do some introspection – soul-searching. First, you need to recall and list all your major or minor achievements over the years. Then, take a deep dive into your professional and academic history.

You can use a brag sheet to identify and list everything you can bring to an MBA program.

A brag sheet is a sketch of your essay. Then, expand on your brag sheet to make a final version of your personal statement.

Don’t be shy to brag about yourself. Just don’t sound patronizing – firmly show off your differentiating achievements.

Here is a template that you can use to make a brag sheet and then use it to start building your statement.

PROFESSIONAL & ACADEMIC

  • Describe an interesting work project.
  • Have you ever been promoted at work? If so, elaborate on it.
  • List all awards or honours you have received in college, at work, or otherwise.
  • Have you done any public speaking ever?
  • What are your computer skills?
  • Have you ever started up a business – large or tiny?
  • What are your short-term career goals (directly after graduating from business school)?
  • Where do you see yourself in 10-20 years?
  • Why do you want to earn an MBA?

EXTRA-CURRICULAR

  • List  all  languages you know and note the degree of proficiency.
  • Where have you travelled and lived? List continents, countries, and exciting cities.
  • List all the places where you have worked voluntarily.
  • List all of your interests and hobbies.
  • List all extra-curricular involvement (major and minor) during college.
  • Have you ever managed anyone at the office or in an extra-curricular setting?
  • Have you published anything? 
  • Do you have any patents?
  • Do you participate in any sports? Have you run a marathon? Are you part of a basketball league?
  • Describe a time you failed.
  • What are your three most significant weaknesses?
  • Describe all the defining moments in your personal life and at work. You can write about any experiences, books, meetings etc. that have changed the way you think or your path. 
  • Discuss any hardships, personal or professional.
  • Are you married? Do you have children?
  • What are your favourite books?                                        
  • What soft skills make you unique?
  • What does your immediate family do, and where are they from? What is your cultural heritage? Does your family have any unique traditions?

In general, business schools are looking for creative intelligence, leadership, teamwork skills, vision/innovation, and a demonstrated record of success in their candidates. So, make sure to add anything related to these traits in your brag sheet. 

Your MBA Essay must be:

  • A genuine narrative and your true reflection.
  • A unique and different story.
  • Try not to copy or be influenced by stories from other successful MBA essays.
  • Stay within the boundaries of the essay topic and do not stray from that.
  • Use compelling and robust language.
  • Review several drafts before submitting the best one.

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How to Write a Strong Personal Statement

  • Ruth Gotian
  • Ushma S. Neill

personal statement examples for management

A few adjustments can get your application noticed.

Whether applying for a summer internship, a professional development opportunity, such as a Fulbright, an executive MBA program, or a senior leadership development course, a personal statement threads the ideas of your CV, and is longer and has a different tone and purpose than a traditional cover letter. A few adjustments to your personal statement can get your application noticed by the reviewer.

  • Make sure you’re writing what they want to hear. Most organizations that offer a fellowship or internship are using the experience as a pipeline: It’s smart to spend 10 weeks and $15,000 on someone before committing five years and $300,000. Rarely are the organizations being charitable or altruistic, so align your stated goals with theirs
  • Know when to bury the lead, and when to get to the point. It’s hard to paint a picture and explain your motivations in 200 words, but if you have two pages, give the reader a story arc or ease into your point by setting the scene.
  • Recognize that the reviewer will be reading your statement subjectively, meaning you’re being assessed on unknowable criteria. Most people on evaluation committees are reading for whether or not you’re interesting. Stated differently, do they want to go out to dinner with you to hear more? Write it so that the person reading it wants to hear more.
  • Address the elephant in the room (if there is one). Maybe your grades weren’t great in core courses, or perhaps you’ve never worked in the field you’re applying to. Make sure to address the deficiency rather than hoping the reader ignores it because they won’t. A few sentences suffice. Deficiencies do not need to be the cornerstone of the application.

At multiple points in your life, you will need to take action to transition from where you are to where you want to be. This process is layered and time-consuming, and getting yourself to stand out among the masses is an arduous but not impossible task. Having a polished resume that explains what you’ve done is the common first step. But, when an application asks for it, a personal statement can add color and depth to your list of accomplishments. It moves you from a one-dimensional indistinguishable candidate to someone with drive, interest, and nuance.

personal statement examples for management

  • Ruth Gotian is the chief learning officer and associate professor of education in anesthesiology at Weill Cornell Medicine in New York City, and the author of The Success Factor and Financial Times Guide to Mentoring . She was named the #1 emerging management thinker by Thinkers50. You can access her free list of conversation starters and test your mentoring impact . RuthGotian
  • Ushma S. Neill is the Vice President, Scientific Education & Training at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. She runs several summer internships and is involved with the NYC Marshall Scholar Selection Committee. ushmaneill

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  • Business Management Masters Personal Statement Sample

Written by Hannah Slack

This is an example personal statement for a Masters degree application in Business Management. See our guide for advice on writing your own postgraduate personal statement .

Businesses have been instrumental in building our modern way of living. The versatility and innovation of business quickly captured my attention when I started my first job, and my interest has only continued to grow. Having undertaken various work experience roles and achieved a 2.1 in my undergraduate degree, I intend to further my education through a Masters. My main interests lie in strategic management and marketing as I enjoy learning new methods for existing and succeeding in an increasingly globalised market.

I have always been a self-motivated worker who is not afraid of a challenge. I am particularly drawn to management and marketing roles as they are often fast paced environments, involving different tasks and decisions each day. They also allow for a healthy balance between both independent and group work, which I believe is vital to running a successful business with engaged staff. My undergraduate work placement in an international marketing company enabled me to first-hand experience the fast-paced and efficient work style of successfully competing companies. I was also able to understand more about how to plan and manage a large staff force to make sure the business can perform and compete at optimum levels. Furthermore, last year I had a part-time job in a small local business which enabled me to learn and develop valuable skills in growth and future planning which are vital during the early stages of a young business.

In addition to my qualifications and work experience, I am a keen basketball player and often represent my club at the local leagues. Both my successes and failures in sporting competitions demonstrate my constant desire to improve and my determination to continue even in times of failure. I have also had the opportunity of being a team captain and coaching younger league games. Both roles allowed me to develop my leadership and strategy planning skills.

I am applying to your university because it offered the best array of modules for me to both improve my knowledge in my current interests and explore new areas of Business Management I am less familiar with. I was also particularly impressed by the wide array of connections the department has that will guarantee each student an invaluable work experience opportunity. I believe that your university will be the best institution to take my education to the next level and enable me to compete effectively as a strong candidate after graduation.

I think that I will be an excellent fit for your department as I enjoy involving myself in extracurricular activities. I am therefore excited to apply for leadership roles in the some of the postgraduate clubs and organisations the department offers. And, if the opportunity presents itself, I would be interested in creating and running my own project with my fellow peers.

Master Business Management - Digital Business Management

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If you're interested in a studying Business, then why don't you check out our regularly updated catalogue of available Business Management Masters courses .

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How to Write a Top MBA Personal Statement (With Examples)

how to write an mba personal statement with examples

Working on your MBA application? You aren’t alone. In 2021, over 200,000 students graduated with an MBA degree making it the number one choice for graduate students for the 10th year in a row. And there’s good reason for this. According to the National Center for Education Statistics , post-MBA, grads can earn significantly more at work—experts estimate an additional $20,000 each year depending on the industry. 

During the application process, you’ll want to stand out. A well-crafted personal statement will help distinguish you from other applicants. It serves as a powerful tool to showcase your unique experiences, skills, and aspirations to admissions committees. To make a lasting impression, tailor your personal statement to each MBA program you’re applying to, highlighting how your background aligns with their values and goals. For additional support, keep reading for some MBA personal statement examples and guidance. 

Understanding the Foundations – Word Count, Templates, and Pricing

When you start your personal statement, keep the word count in mind. Make sure to write your statement succinctly. Templates can give crucial structure to a first draft and make sure you hit necessary points. Finally: is it worth it to hire a professional proofreader? We break down the pros and cons. 

Word Count Considerations

A well-written personal statement is often the deciding factor in the business school admissions process. Conveying your thoughts concisely is a crucial skill in the business world, and future peers will be grateful for your brevity.

One strategy is to start with a longer draft and edit it down when revising. Remove unnecessary details and tighten wordy language. Focus on improving the quality of your content over meeting the maximum word count. 

Templates as a Starting Point

Templates can help to organize your thoughts. Use them to provide structure and give your writing direction. By planning ahead, you can decide how much space you want to dedicate to each element—this can also help you meet the word count.

Remember: popular templates are popular for a reason, and following them too strictly can make your statement feel rigid and unoriginal. To avoid that pitfall, personalization is key. Your individual experiences, goals, and perspectives are all unique. What would a Master’s in Business Administration mean to you? Don’t be afraid to customize any template to fit your voice. 

Professional Proofreading

Graduate schools know what a well-written personal statement looks like—and so do professional proofreaders. Experts can help catch small grammatical errors and improve clarity in your writing. It can be challenging to review personal writing from an objective standpoint. A good proofreader will streamline your writing and ensure overall coherence, improving your odds with your preferred school of business. 

Unfortunately, this can be expensive. Pricing for these services can easily cost hundreds of dollars. If hiring one isn’t in the budget, here are some alternatives: 

  • Find writing groups online or in person. Not only will you receive feedback, you’ll get a better idea of what other personal statements look like. Be prepared to help edit other statements.
  • Reach out to peers and mentors. Turn to people who know your voice and can tell when your writing is authentic. Make sure they aren’t afraid to give negative feedback.
  • Utilize free online resources. Writing tools like Grammarly or Hemingway help check grammar and sentence structure. They won’t help with essay format and aren’t infallible; double-check any changes they might suggest.
  • Read your statement out loud. This can help make sure your statement has a good rhythm and flows naturally.
  • Take breaks. Be your own set of fresh eyes. When you’re in the thick of writing, you might glaze over easy-to-spot details while you’re thinking of the big picture. Allow yourself to recharge and clear your head before you get back to it. 

proofreading mba personal statement

Tailoring Your Personal Statement to Top MBA Programs

Make sure to personalize your essays to specific MBA programs . Include details about specific classes and faculty, unique opportunities, and the strengths that make this program stand out. 

Then, tie yourself into the narrative. What role would you fill as a graduate student or an alumnus? Consider your own strengths and where they align with this specific program. What career goals could this opportunity help you achieve? 

Remember to mention your soft skills and other details that may not show up elsewhere on your application. Finally, shine a spotlight on your unique contributions in past roles. 

Write a Captivating Introduction

A beautiful personal statement will be overlooked unless the introduction captivates the audience. You can begin with compelling anecdotes, personal stories, or influential quotes. Tie this introduction into your reason for pursuing an MBA. Make the reader care before launching into your achievements. Then, clearly state why you’re pursuing an MBA. Example: “From the dynamic intersections of global markets to the intricate strategies driving corporate success, the realm of business has always beckoned to me as a realm of boundless opportunity and perpetual evolution..” 

Discuss Academic and Professional Background

Now it’s time to discuss what you’re bringing to the table. It’s okay to brag! Think about any key achievements or acquired skills that are transferable to an MBA program. What motivated you to apply? Example : “As a project manager at XYZ Corp, I navigated intricate challenges, demonstrating resilience and strategic thinking – skills I am eager to refine in a top-tier MBA program.” 

Answer the Questions: Why an MBA? Why Now? 

What does an MBA mean for your career goals ? Break down your short and long-term goals to answer this essay question. How do the skills you gain from earning an MBA connect to your plan? Research the program you’re applying for and use examples from the curriculum. Example : “My immediate goal is to transition from project management to strategic consulting, and Crummer’s MBA program’s focus on experiential learning and global business strategy perfectly complements my aspirations.” 

Emphasize Soft Skills

Think about moments you demonstrated personal growth or teamwork. Are there any moments you stepped up to lead a project or team? Your past experiences will influence your habits in a graduate school setting. Example :  “Leading a cross-functional team on a high-stakes project not only honed my leadership skills but also taught me the importance of collaborative problem-solving, a cornerstone of Crummer’s MBA program. “

Spotlight Unique Contributions

What sets you apart from other applicants? Moreover, what impact will your unique perspective bring to the MBA cohort? Explain how your background will enrich the learning environment. Detail personal qualities and experiences that showcase your value. 

how to make an mba personal statement engaging

Key Elements for a Powerful Personal Statement

Take a holistic approach to strike the right chord in your personal statement. Give admissions committees a more concrete impression of you. Weave in your qualifications, experiences, and aspirations. Don’t just mention your professional achievements—detail all of your positive qualities. 

Showcase Work Experience 

Be strategic when discussing your real-world work experience. If you can, including measurable results is a great way to show your professional impact. Earnings numbers, statistics, and other metrics will show off your professional experiences. 

Articulate Career Goals and Aspirations

When discussing career goals for an MBA application, detail your short and long-term objectives clearly. Ambiguity can weaken your statement’s impact. Whether you’re joining a family business, starting your own business, or looking to go abroad for international business you should discuss how you see yourself navigating the business world. Connect these career aspirations to the MBA program. 

Incorporate Extracurricular and Real-World Experiences

Touch on any extracurricular experiences like internships or entrepreneurship. Explain how these real-world experiences impacted your analytical skills, business acumen, and decision-making. If you’re an entrepreneur, touch on your journey or discuss the vision for your next startup. 

You can also talk about moments where you demonstrated leadership and communication skills. Teamwork is critical to business leaders. Reflect on your leadership experience—the successes you’ve won and the lessons you learned. 

writing an mba personal statement internships

Maintain Authenticity

Write authentically. Admissions officers want genuine stories. Give readers a reason to empathize with you. Overly formal and generic language can depersonalize your statement and keep readers at arm’s length. 

Also, use conversational language. If something sounds clunky or unnatural, it probably also reads that way. Plus, the way you speak naturally showcases your personality. While you should always use proper grammar, don’t suck the life out of your statement in the name of sounding more “academic.” Use this opportunity to demonstrate your communication skills. 

Navigating Common Challenges

Crafting your personal statements can be challenging! Let’s answer some FAQs. 

How Do I Balance the Personal and Professional Aspects?

Be intentional about what you choose to mention from your personal life. Use elements that either contrast or emphasize your professional experience. How does your background influence your business philosophy? Make sure to keep a professional tone and align your statement with the admissions committee’s expectations and be prepared for any questions the interviewer could ask.

How Do I Handle Sensitive Topics?

If you’re writing about a sensitive topic, do so thoughtfully. You don’t know what type of people will be reading your statement, so be considerate and intentional about any details you choose to share. 

However, your application essay should be a reflection of you. Sensitive subjects often play a major role in personal growth and development. Discuss what you learned from this challenging experience and how it influenced you. 

How Do I Make My Writing Stand Out? 

We’ve touched on all of the story elements you need—now trim the fat. Avoid common clichés and generic statements. Common phrases will dilute the unique perspectives in your personal statement. Make sure the language aligns with you. Avoid language that could apply to everyone when possible. 

Other MBA Application Process Essentials – GMAT Score, GPA, and Statement of Purpose

The MBA application process is multifaceted and holistic. Alongside your statement, admissions committees also consider your GMAT scores and GPA. GMAT scores are used to gauge applicants’ aptitude for business studies, while GPA showcases your readiness for MBA rigor. If you have a lower score in either category, address these challenges by highlighting your other strengths, relevant experience, and resiliency. Remember: committees consider the entire application, not just scores. 

The other factor in the application process is your Statement of Purpose or SOP. This will complement your personal statement. Make sure your SOP articulates your academic and career goals without echoing your other application essay. Avoid redundancy. Focus on the future: link the MBA program to your long-term plan. Take a forward-looking perspective and demonstrate how the MBA will work as a natural progression in your life. 

Your personal statement should be as unique as you are. Start with a compelling narrative and a plan. Proofread your essay, and don’t be afraid to seek help from peers or professionals. Explain how your personal and professional life gives you the necessary skills to thrive at your desired program and be specific about what you want to do there. This is your chance to differentiate yourself from other applicants—take advantage!

Crummer is the #1 ranked MBA program in Florida. You can learn more about what we offer and when you’re ready, start working on your application . 

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Whether talking about a recent news story, how you meet targets in your weekend job, or simply why you want to study business at uni, that spark of genuine motivation and enthusiasm will get you noticed. That's what business admissions tutors told us when we asked them what they look for – and here are some more of their top tips.

Find out everything you need to know about writing your personal statement , including how to write a killer opening and our top tips.

A spot-on business personal statement – in a nutshell

Dr Pam Croney, admissions tutor at Newcastle Business School at Northumbria University, is especially looking for evidence of:

  • an independent learner
  • a thinker and doer
  • an innovator or potential entrepreneur
  • a good communicator who likes giving presentations
  • an interest in what's happening out there in the business world

Can you demonstrate any of these?

She also likes it when applicants give their own views on a topical issue, like why you think a particular company crashed, what sparked the revival of a vintage brand, or whatever else gets you fired up. Admissions tutors love to know what you’re genuinely enthusiastic about!

What business and management tutors are looking for

  • Structure and organisation: to study management, you need to demonstrate that you are capable of managing yourself. Your personal statement needs to be structured, organised, and free of spelling or grammatical errors.
  • First impressions count: Sue Blything-Smith, Business and Management Admissions Tutor from University Campus Suffolk, says 'you should aim to be unique and original and provide a good opening line that reveals something about your aptitude and enthusiasm’. She really likes to see statements that demonstrate personality and flair but don't go too over the top: keep it formal and remain objective.
  • Examples of your relevant skills: Sue is also impressed by applicants who describe situations where they’ve demonstrated relevant skills like good communication or teamwork, problem-solving, initiative, leadership, or achieving goals.
  • Research the course: London School of Economics is keen to know things like why you want to study management, what specific aspects of their course interest you, how it relates to your academic studies, and what additional reading or other activities have led you to apply.
  • Entrepreneurial flair: Bournemouth likes its business studies applicants to show they are 'self-starters' who enjoy identifying and solving business problems.

Making your business experience count

It’s not just what you've done but how you've reflected on it. If you work-shadowed the CEO of a multi-national company, that's great, but it will have zero impact unless you spell out what you personally gained from it.

Similarly, if your part-time supermarket job or role in a Young Enterprise programme has helped you develop your skills and confidence, that’s great too. But it will only have an impact on your statement if you explain how or give an actual example.

It's the "how" that brings your statement to life and makes it interesting and personal. So try to think of specific occasions or unique ways you have demonstrated your potential, or maybe something you've observed about customer behaviour, management styles or an effective (or ineffective) marketing campaign.

It's even better if you can then link it to something you've learned in your business, economics, or psychology studies, or read in the Financial Times, The Economist, or on the BBC website.

Or consider the transferable skills you've gained through extracurricular activities and how they can show what the University of Bath describes as 'an active interest in understanding people, work, and organisations'.

Check out our guide to business, management, and administrative studies  to find out what courses are available, areas of employment, and where to find out more about careers.

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Personal statement examples by subject: complete list

Young woman working on laptop

Take a look at how other students have written their personal statements

When you're writing your university personal statement, a little inspiration can be handy.

On The Student Room, we have hundreds of real personal statements written by students when they applied for university in previous years.

You'll find all of these listed below, in order of subject. 

For more help with writing your personal statement, our personal statement section  is a good place to go. You can also find tips and discussion in the personal statement advice forum .

If you've already been to university, you can  add your own personal statement to the library  to help others.

And don't forget our sister site The Uni Guide , which has expert advice on getting your personal statement sorted.

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By Nik Taylor (Editor, The Uni Guide) | 18 August 2023 | 22 min read

How to write an excellent personal statement in 10 steps

Stand out from the crowd: here's how to write a good personal statement that will get you noticed

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personal statement examples for management

Your personal statement forms a core part of your university application, and the sooner you get going, the better you can make it. You may think that your personal statement won’t matter as much to unis as your grades and experience but a great personal statement could make all the difference between you and a candidate with the same grades. Sure, your application might not reach that deal breaker stage. But is it something you want to leave to chance?  Here we’ll take you through the process of planning, writing and checking a good personal statement, so you end up with something you can submit with confidence. And to make sure the advice we're giving you is sound, we’ve spoken to admissions staff at loads of UK universities to get their view. Look out for video interviews and advice on applying for specific subjects throughout this piece or watch our personal statement playlist on YouTube .

  • Are you looking for personal statement examples? Check our library of hundreds of real personal statements, on The Student Room
The university application personal statement is changing in 2025
University admissions service Ucas has announced that a new style of personal statement will be launched in 2025. This will affect anyone making a university application from autumn 2025 onwards.

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Personal statement deadlines

You'll need to make sure you've got your personal statement written well in advance of your application deadline. Below are the main university application deadline dates for 2024 entry.

2024 entry deadlines

16 October 2023: Deadline for applications to Oxford and Cambridge universities, along with most medicine, dentistry, and veterinary courses.   31 January 2024: Deadline for applications to the majority of undergraduate courses. After this date, universities will start allocating places on these courses –   but you can still apply after the 31 January deadline , as this article explains . 30 June 2024:  Students who apply after this date will be entered into Clearing .

  • Read more: Ucas deadlines and key application dates

What is a personal statement?

A personal statement is a central part of your Ucas application, where you explain why you’ve chosen a particular course and why you’ll be good at it. It's your chance to stand out against other candidates and hopefully get that all-important offer. You only write one personal statement which is then read by each university you apply to, so if you are applying for more than one subject (or it's a combined course) it's crucial that you include common themes or reference the overall skills needed for all subjects. Personal statements are especially important if you’re trying to get on a very competitive course, where you need to do anything you can to stand out to admissions tutors. Courteney Sheppard, senior customer experience manager at Ucas, advises that your personal statement is "the only part of the application that you have direct control over. Do lots of research to demonstrate your passion, curiosity and drive to pursue your chosen subject." There’s a limit on how much you can write: your personal statement can be up to 4,000 characters (including spaces) or 47 lines of 95 characters (including spaces); whichever is shorter. This may appear generous (read: long) but once you've got going you may find yourself having to edit heavily.

  • Read more: teacher secrets for writing a great personal statement

1. Plan what you want to cover

The first thing you need to do is make a plan. Writing a personal statement off the top of your head is difficult. Start by making some notes, answering the following questions:

  • What do you want to study?
  • Why do you want to study it?
  • What is there about you that shows you’re suited to studying this subject at university? Think about your personality, as well as your experiences.
  • What are your other interests and skills?

These few points are going to form the spine of your personal statement, so write them in a way that makes sense to you. You might want to make a simple bulleted list or you might want to get all arty and use a mindmap. Whatever you choose, your aim is the same. You want to get it clear in your own head why a university should offer you a place on its course. Getting those details down isn't always easy, and some people find it helpful to make notes over time. You might try carrying a notebook with you or set up a memo on your phone. Whenever you think of something useful for your personal statement, jot it down. Inspiration sometimes comes more easily when you’re thinking about something else entirely. It might help to take a look at The Student Room for some sample personal statements by university and sample personal statements by subjects , to give you an idea of the kind of thing you want to include. 

  • Read more: personal statement FAQs

2. Show off your experience

Some things are worth adding to your personal statement, some things are not. Firmly in the second camp are your qualifications. You don’t need to mention these as there’s a whole other section of your personal statement where you get to detail them very precisely. Don’t waste a single character going on about how great your GCSE grades are – it’s not what the admissions tutor wants to read. What they do want to see is: what have you done? OK, so you’ve got some good grades, but so do a lot of other applicants. What have you done that’s different, that shows you off as someone who really loves the subject you’re applying for? Spend some time thinking about all the experience you have in that subject. If you’re lucky, this might be direct work experience. That’s going to be particularly appropriate if you’re applying for one of the more vocational subjects such as medicine or journalism . But uni staff realise getting plum work experience placements is easier for some people than others, so cast your net wider when you’re thinking about what you’ve done. How about after-school clubs? Debating societies? Are you running a blog or vlog? What key skills and experience have you picked up elsewhere (eg from hobbies) that could be tied in with your course choice? Remember, you’re looking for experience that shows why you want to study your chosen subject. You’re not just writing an essay about what you're doing in your A-level syllabus. Use this checklist as a guide for what to include:

  • Your interest in the course. Why do you want to spend three years studying this subject at university?
  • What have you done outside school or college that demonstrates this interest? Think about things like fairs/exhibitions, public lectures or voluntary work that is relevant to your subject.
  • Relevant work experience (essential for the likes of medicine, not required for non-vocational courses such as English )
  • Skills and qualities required for that career if appropriate (medicine, nursing and law as obvious examples)
  • Interest in your current studies – what particular topics have made an impression on you?
  • Any other interests/hobbies/experiences you wish to mention that are relevant either to the subject or 'going to uni'. Don't just list your hobbies, you need to be very selective and state clearly what difference doing these things has made to you.
  • Plans for a gap year if you’re deferring entry.

Read more: 6 steps you need to take to apply to university

3. Be bold about your achievements

Don't be bashful about your achievements; that’s not going to help you get into uni. It's time to unleash your inner Muhammed Ali and get all “I am the greatest” with your writing. Do keep it focused and accurate. Do keep your language professional. But don’t hide your qualities beneath a layer of false modesty. Your personal statement is a sell – you are selling yourself as a brilliant student and you need to show the reader why that is true. This doesn’t come naturally to everyone, and if you’re finding it difficult to write about how great you are it’s time to enlist some help. Round up a friend or two, a family member, a teacher, whoever and get them to write down your qualities. Getting someone else’s view here can help you get some perspective. Don’t be shy. You are selling your skills, your experience and your enthusiasm – make sure they all leap off the screen with the way you have described them.

  • Read more: the ten biggest mistakes when writing your personal statement  

4. How to start your personal statement

Type your personal statement in a cloud-based word processing program, such as Google Docs or Microsoft Word and don’t copy and paste it into Ucas Hub until it’s finished.  One of the benefits of doing it this way is that you can run spell check easily. (Please note, though, that Word adds "curly" quotation marks and other characters (like é or ü) that won't show up on your Ucas form, so do proofread it on Ucas Hub before submitting it to ensure it is how you typed it.)  Another big benefit is that you'll always have a backup of what you've written. If you're being super careful, you could always save your statement in another place as well. Bear in mind that extra spaces (eg adding spaces to the beginnings of paragraphs as indentation) are removed on Ucas. In your first sentence, cut to the chase. Why do you want to do the course? Don’t waste any time rambling on about the daydreams you had when you were five. Just be clear and concise – describe in one line why this course is so important to you. Then, in the rest of your intro, go into more detail in demonstrating your enthusiasm for the course and explaining how you decided this is what you want to do for the next three or more years. However you choose to start your statement, just avoid the following hoary old chestnuts. These have been some of the most used lines in personal statements over the years – they are beyond cliche, so don’t even think about it.

  • From a young age I have (always) been [interested in/fascinated by]…
  • For as long as I can remember, I have…
  • I am applying for this course because… 
  • I have always been interested in… 
  • Throughout my life I have always enjoyed… 
  • Reflecting on my educational experiences… 
  • [Subject] is a very challenging and demanding [career/profession/course]… 
  • Academically, I have always been… 
  • I have always wanted to pursue a career in… 
  • I have always been passionate about…   

5. Focus your writing on why you've chosen that subject

So you’ve got your intro done – time to nail the rest of it. Bear in mind that you’ve got to be a little bit careful when following a personal statement template. It’s easy to fall into the trap of copying someone else’s style, and in the process lose all of your own voice and personality from your writing. But there is a rough order that you can follow, which should help keep you in your flow. After your opening paragraph or two, get into any work experience (if you’ve got it). Talk about extracurriculars: anything you've done which is relevant to the subject can go here – hobbies, interests, volunteering. Touch on your career aspirations – where do you want this course to take you? Next, show your enthusiasm for your current studies. Cite some specific examples of current work that you enjoyed. Show off your relevant skills and qualities by explaining how you’ve used these in the past. Make sure you’re giving real-world examples here, not just vague assertions like “I’m really organised and motivated”. Try to use examples that are relevant.   Follow this up with something about you as a person. Talk about non-academic stuff that you like to do, but link it in some way with the course, or with how it shows your maturity for dealing with uni life. Round it all off by bringing your main points together, including a final emphasis of your commitment to studying this particular course.

  • Read more: how to write your personal statement in an evening  

6. How long should a personal statement be?

You've got to work to a very specific limit when writing your personal statement. In theory you could use up to 4,000 characters – but you’re probably more likely to be limited by the line count. That's because it's a good idea to put line breaks in between your paragraphs (to make it more readable) and you only get a maximum of 47 lines. With this in mind, 3,500 characters is a more realistic limit. But when you’re getting started you should ignore these limits completely. At first, you just want to get down everything that you feel is important. You'll probably end up with something that is far too long, but that's fine. This is where you get to do some polishing and pruning. Keep the focus of your piece on the course you’re applying for, why you want to do it and why you’re perfectly suited to it. Look through what you’ve written so far – have you got the balance right? Chop out anything that goes on a bit, as you want each point to be snappy and succinct.

  • Read more: universities reveal all about personal statements  

7. Keep it simple

8. Smart ways to end your personal statement

Writing a closing line that you’re happy with can feel as tricky as coming up with your opener. What you’re looking for here is a sign-off that is bold and memorable. The final couple of sentences in your statement give you the opportunity to emphasise all the good stuff you’ve already covered. Use this space to leave the reader in no doubt as to what an excellent addition you would be to their university. Pull together all your key points and – most importantly – address the central question that your personal statement should answer: why should you get a place on the course?

  • Read more: universities explain how to end your personal statement with a bang  

9. Make sure your personal statement has no mistakes

Now you’ve got a personal statement you’re happy with, you need to make sure there are no mistakes. Check it, check it a second time, then check it again. Once you’ve done that, get someone else to check it, too. You will be doing yourself a massive disservice if you send through a personal statement with spelling and/or grammatical errors. You’ve got months to put this together so there really is no excuse for sending through something that looks like a rush job. Ask your teachers to look at it, and be prepared to accept their feedback without getting defensive. They will have seen many personal statements before; use what they tell you to make yours even better. You’ve also got another chance here to look through the content of your personal statement, so you can make sure the balance is right. Make sure your focus is very clearly on the subject you are applying for and why you want to study it. Don’t post your personal statement on the internet or social media where anyone can see it. You will get picked up by the Ucas plagiarism checker. Similarly, don't copy any that you find online. Instead, now is a good time to make your parents feel useful. Read your personal statement out to them and get them to give you feedback. Or try printing it out and mixing it up with a few others (you can find sample personal statements on The Student Room). Get them to read them all and then try to pick yours out. If they can't, perhaps there's not enough of your personality in there.  

10. Don't think about your personal statement for a whole week

If you followed the advice at the very start of this guide, you’ve started your personal statement early. Good job! There are months before you need to submit it. Use one of these weeks to forget about your personal statement completely. Get on with other things – anything you like. Just don’t go near your statement. Give it a whole week and then open up the document again and read through it with fresh eyes. You’ll gain a whole new perspective on what you’ve written and will be well placed to make more changes, if needed.

  • Read more: how to write your personal statement when you have nothing interesting to say  

10 steps to your ideal personal statement

In summary, here are the ten steps you should follow to create the perfect personal statement.  

Personal statement dos and don'ts

  • Remember that your personal statement is your personal statement, not an article written about your intended field of study. It should tell the reader about you, not about the subject.
  • Only put in things that you’re prepared to talk about at the interviews.
  • Give convincing reasons for why you want to study the course – more than just "enjoying the subject" (this should be a given).
  • For very competitive courses, find out as much as you can about the nature of the course and try to make your personal statement relevant to this.
  • Be reflective. If you make a point like 'I like reading', 'I travelled abroad', say what you got from it.
  • Go through the whole thing checking your grammar and your spelling. Do this at least twice. It doesn’t matter if you’re not applying to an essay-based course – a personal statement riddled with spelling mistakes is just going to irritate the reader, which is the last thing you want to do. If this is something you find difficult then have someone look over it for you.
  • Leave blank lines between your paragraphs. It’s easier for the reader to get through your personal statement when it’s broken into easily digestible chunks. Remember that they’re going to be reading a lot of these! Make yours easy to get through.
  • Get someone else's opinion on your statement. Read it out to family or friends. Share it with your teacher. Look for feedback wherever you can find it, then act upon it.
  • Don’t write it like a letter. Kicking off with a greeting such as "Dear Sir/Madam" not only looks weird, it also wastes precious space.
  • Don’t make jokes. This is simply not the time – save them for your first night in the union.
  • Don’t criticise your current school or college or try to blame teachers for any disappointing grades you might have got.
  • Be afraid of details – if you want your PS to be personal to you that means explaining exactly which bits of work or topics or activities you've taken part in/enjoyed. It's much more compelling to read about one or two detailed examples than a paragraph that brushes over five or six.
  • Just list what you're doing now. You should pull out the experiences that are relevant to the courses which you're applying to.
  • Mention skills and activities without giving examples of when they have been demonstrated by you or what you learnt from them. Anyone can write "I have great leadership skills" in a PS, actually using a sentence to explain when you demonstrated good leadership skills is much rarer and more valuable.
  • Refer to experiences that took place before your GCSEs (or equivalent).
  • Give explanations about medical or mental health problems. These should be explained in your reference, not your PS.
  • Apply for too many different courses, making it difficult to write a convincing personal statement which supports the application.
  • Write a statement specific to just one institution, unless you're only applying to that one choice.
  • Copy and paste the statement from somewhere else! This means do not plagiarise. All statements are automatically checked for plagiarism by Ucas. Those that are highlighted by the computer system are checked manually by Ucas staff. If you’re found to have plagiarised parts of your statement, the universities you apply to will be informed and it could jeopardise your applications.
  • Use ChatGPT or another AI program to write your personal statement for you. Or, if you do, make sure you thoroughly edit and personalise the text so it's truly yours. Otherwise you're very much at risk of the plagiarism point above.

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Medicine Personal Statement Examples

Writing a medicine personal statement has been a part of the lives of medical applicants for many years and is a fundamental part of the selection criteria. The way in which the UCAS personal statement is structured and written is changing for 2026 with the process shifting to a short answer format. However, for all 2025 entry students, the UCAS personal statement will remain the same. 

Table of Contents

medicine personal statement

In this article, we will explore a range of different personal statement examples with explanations of their ranking to help you in the process of writing your own medicine personal statement. 

What Makes a Good Medicine Personal Statement?

  • Unique and personal 
  • Reflection on experience, weakness, and strengths
  • Showing realistic insight into the medical profession with a coherent narrative based on genuine experience and reflection
  • Discussion of extra-curricular activities with an emphasis on the characteristics, skills, and personal traits that will serve you well in a career in medicine 

Medicine Personal Statement Example 1:

My decision to pursue a career in medicine stems from a longstanding interest in the human body and the science of healthcare. Over the years, I have engaged in various activities and studies that have prepared me for this path, and I am eager to contribute to the medical field.

My first significant exposure to healthcare was during my time volunteering at a local care home. This role involved assisting elderly residents with their daily activities and supporting the nursing staff. This experience provided me with a clear understanding of the practical aspects of patient care, particularly in managing chronic illnesses and providing support to those in need. My time at the care home taught me the value of being detail-oriented and the importance of providing consistent care to maintain the well-being of patients.

In addition to volunteering, I completed a placement at a local hospital where I had the opportunity to observe various medical professionals in action. I shadowed doctors in different departments, including general medicine and surgery, which allowed me to gain insights into the workings of a hospital. I observed doctors carrying out surgeries which ranged from a simple appendectomy to a complex bypass surgery, this was fascinating. I also enjoyed watching doctors talk with patients.  One notable experience was observing a complex surgical procedure, which highlighted the technical skills required in the medical field and the importance of maintaining composure in high-pressure situations.

Academically, I have focused on subjects that provide a strong foundation for a career in medicine. My studies in Biology and Chemistry have given me a solid understanding of the scientific principles essential to medical practice. Through coursework, I have developed strong analytical skills which would be useful in medicine. I have also participated in various group projects that required collaboration and communication which would be useful in medicine.

Outside of my formal studies and medical-related experiences, I have also been involved in extracurricular activities that have developed my leadership and organisational abilities. For example, I have been a member of the student council, where I played a role in organising events and representing my peers. 

My work experience has also included a part-time job in a pharmacy, where I gained further insight into the healthcare system from a different perspective. Working in a pharmacy involved interacting with patients and working on the till and answering patients’ questions. This experience reinforced my interest in the pharmacological aspects of medicine and the critical role that pharmacists play in patient care.

I am committed to pursuing a career in medicine because it combines my interest in science with the opportunity to make a tangible difference in people’s lives. The experiences I have gained thus far have equipped me with a strong foundation in patient care, a solid understanding of the healthcare environment, and the necessary academic background. I am eager to continue my education in medicine and look forward to the challenges and opportunities that lie ahead in this rewarding profession.

What could this medicine personal statement do better?

  • This statement is slightly too descriptive in nature with a focus on recounting the details of placements and is a statement of fact. This statement would be improved by making it more reflective in nature and through linking it to future clinical practice. 
  • This statement does not have a strong conclusion and is too focused on the activities that were done as opposed to the skills or insight gained throughout the process
  • This statement could go further to reflect on work experience and reference future aspirations and self-development which could follow this placement. It is always a fantastic idea to discuss how you would take this learning forward in your future development as a medical student and a future doctor.

What does this medicine personal statement do well?

  • This statement has a strong conclusion which summarises the reflective elements of the statement. It brings together the core themes and relates them to a future clinical practice and uses this to indicate a readiness for a future career in medicine. 

personal statement examples for management

Medicine Personal Statement Example 2: 

Graduate medicine applicant .

In studying a degree in politics, I have developed, flourished and remain undeterred in my desire to pursue a career in medicine. My scientific fascination with the body and its functions has remained secure throughout and I am drawn to follow the vocation that is the complex and nuanced role of a doctor. 

Shadowing a GP, I learnt about best practices and the importance of consistent process in improving the quality of modern GP consultations. Participating in a role play and ethical decision-making seminar with two junior doctors helped me realise that learning, personal development and complex ethical questions remain key components of a doctor’s life. Sitting in on practice meetings highlighted the intricacies of medicine as a business and the ultra-medical roles of doctors. Through volunteering at —— Children’s Hospital, the experience of assisting nurses, comforting parents and distracting children has taught me that small acts of kindness can improve hospital environments for parents and children simply by reassuring and understanding their difficulties. Observing the relationship between doctors and nurses also taught me about the importance of multi-disciplinary teams and strong communication in the functioning of an effective medical service. Recognising a gap in my knowledge of social services, I volunteered for a homeless outreach organisation. I worked with clients to provide services like showers, food and access to housing schemes. I also spent time with the outreach nurse. This taught me about the essential services provided and the necessity for judgement-free consulting, reinforcing to me the fundamental connection between poverty, illness and the wide variety of social circumstances surrounding homelessness. It has developed my understanding of the complex and nuanced role of a medical professional and the importance of strong coordination between medical and social services to provide the best patient care possible. 

On my gap year, I travelled the US. Whilst the experience developed my ability to manage stress, organise time and maintain relationships, I was most heavily impacted by my first-hand knowledge of the North American Opioid Crisis, driving my scientific curiosity throughout my university life and strongly influencing my dissertation. I explored the role of the over prescription of opioid medications in the North American Opioid Crisis and its political influences. During my research, I have formulated clear links between politics and medicine by breaking down complex questions into component sections, independently researching pharmaceutical knowledge and studying the importance of socio-political factors in medicine. This scientific curiosity builds on my EPQ in which I explored the possibility of using stem cells to repair damaged cardiac muscle following myocardial infarction. I have developed a wide array of life skills through my participation in team sports, music, part-time work and Camp America. At University, I am the 1st Team Football Captain, and this involves managing and maintaining the morale of my players, ensuring the health and safety of my team, and assisting with their time management. Through understanding the different needs of individuals, I have adapted my approach and techniques and developed the ability to accept my failures and learn from them. Through my music and part-time work, I have learnt to prioritise, work long hours and engage in skills workshops in order to progress. Through Camp America, I further developed my ability to support sick children, manage my positivity and to recharge my energy in a healthy and constructive way. 

I recognise the complex difficulties of the medical profession, and I do not underestimate the necessary commitment. I believe that I have been developing the skills and personal traits required in a successful doctor and I remain dedicated to working to the best of my ability throughout a medical career .

medicine personal statement examples

  • This statement addresses the background of the applicant well and explores how the motivation for medicine remained consistent throughout the process of the first degree. As applicants pursuing Graduate Entry Medicine (GEM) this is important as it allows you to build upon your additional experience from the undergraduate but also allows you to demonstrate a long term and thoughtful process of reflection that leads to a career in medicine. 
  • This statement cleverly draws the link between the previous degree and a career in medicine and does not depart from the previous study but instead illustrates how this study was formative and key to their development. 
  • This statement has a strong reflective element when discussing work experience and uses this in a future forward manner whereby they are demonstrating how their experience has shaped them and how they will use this in a future career in medicine

What could this medicine personal statement improve?

  • This statement could have a stronger introduction with a clearer direction for the statement established in that first line

Medicine Personal Statement Example 3: Poor Personal Statement

Ever since I was young, I’ve wanted to be a doctor because it seems like a good job where you get to help people. I think medicine is really interesting, especially when people are sick and doctors make them better. My uncle is a doctor, and he says it’s a great job with lots of rewards, so I thought it would be a good idea to do the same.

I haven’t done much in terms of work experience, but I once visited a hospital when my friend broke his leg. It was amazing to see how the doctors worked and how they fixed his leg. The nurses were also very nice, which made me think that hospitals are positive places to work. I also visited a few doctors’ offices as a patient, which gave me an idea of what it’s like to be a doctor.

In school, I have done well in most subjects, although I find some of them quite boring. I think science subjects are the most useful for becoming a doctor, so I have tried to focus on those. I got good grades in Biology and Chemistry, but I am not really interested in Physics because it’s too hard and not very relevant to medicine. However, I am confident that I will do well enough in my exams to get into medical school.

Outside of school, I haven’t really done much that relates to medicine, but I do like watching medical TV shows. They show a lot of what it’s like to be a doctor, and I find that really inspiring. I am also part of the school chess club, which has nothing to do with medicine, but I think it shows that I am good at strategy and thinking ahead, which could be useful in medicine.

I think I would be a good doctor because I care about people and want to make a lot of money while doing something important. I think doctors are respected and have good lives, and that is something I want for myself. I also like the idea of being in charge and making decisions that affect other people, which seems like something doctors do a lot.

In conclusion, I think medicine is a good career choice for me because it seems like a stable and rewarding job. I haven’t had a lot of direct experience, but I am sure that I will learn everything I need to know in medical school. I am excited about the idea of becoming a doctor and hope to get into a good medical school that will set me on the path to success.

Key Issues with this Medicine Personal Statement:

  • Vague Motivation : The motivation for wanting to become a doctor is not well articulated. The statement begins with a generic and unconvincing reason (“it seems like a good job where you get to help people”).
  • Lack of Relevant Experience : There is little to no relevant work experience mentioned. The writer relies on a brief visit to a hospital as a visitor, which does not demonstrate a real understanding or commitment to the field of medicine.
  • Irrelevant Information : The mention of watching medical TV shows and being part of a chess club are irrelevant to the application. These points do not contribute to the applicant’s suitability for a medical career.
  • Poor Academic Focus : The statement mentions a dislike for Physics and a general lack of interest in certain subjects, which could raise concerns about the applicant’s commitment and academic readiness for the challenges of medical school.
  • Misguided Motivation : The desire to make a lot of money and be in charge are not appropriate primary motivations for entering the medical field. These motivations may reflect poorly on the applicant’s understanding of the profession.
  • Lack of Structure and Coherence : The statement is disjointed and lacks a clear structure. It jumps from one topic to another without a coherent flow, making it difficult to follow.
  • Overconfidence : The applicant expresses unwarranted confidence in their ability to succeed in medical school without demonstrating the necessary preparation or understanding of what the course entails.
  • Lack of Personal Insight : The statement lacks personal reflection and does not convey the applicant’s genuine interest or dedication to the field of medicine.

This example illustrates how a poorly constructed personal statement can fail to make a compelling case for admission to medical school. It’s important to be reflective, specific, and focused when writing a personal statement to ensure it effectively communicates your suitability for the field.

medicine personal statement tutor

In summary, writing a personal statement is exactly that, the process is an inherently personal process and therefore should be honest and deliberate in its approach. Our medicine personal statement guides and blog posts are there to provide inspiration and common pitfalls to avoid but in the end the medicine personal statement should be a true reflection of you and your motivation for medicine. If you would like to explore your statement further with a medicine personal statement tutor , then our personal statement service may be the perfect fit for you.  

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Hr management personal statement example.

Most of us can expect to spend many years of our lives working in organisations of various kinds, being managed or managing others. I am one of those who like to manage people and interact with them. Human Resources Program will enhance my marketability and give me the relevant professional skills and knowledge that employers in today’s marketplace are looking for. The program gives me the opportunity to acquire a comprehensive background in the functions of Human Resources from both theoretical and practical perspectives.

My uncle is an HR Manager in General Electric company, Canada. GE is a global infrastructure, finance and media company. He explained to me what HR is all about and what career is going to be if I select this field. I started taking interest in this field and gained a lot of knowledge from him and also from internet. On internet, I searched for government websites for Human Resources to know what duties and responsibilities HR perform. For example, Human Resources and Skills Development Canada, Service Canada and Government of Canada Human Resources Management System.

I came to Canada in 2008 and started working in Tim Horton’s (café). In 2009, I got promoted as a supervisor with a responsibility to manage the store. I had to make employees work as a team and to make sure that customers are happy with our service. Counting the cash at the end of the shift and closing the store after making sure that all the employees have done their job properly was also part of my duties. My dream to study HR came true in 2010 when I joined Sheridan College where I learned Training and Development, Health and Safety which turn out to be very important course since preventing accidents at work should be a key priority for everyone. Recruitment and Selection, Compensation and Benefits and HR Planning were also very important courses. I studied and worked at the same time and was always keen to try and apply what I had learned during my work experience as a supervisor to my time in college.

I want to further develop my skills and understanding of HRM to enable me to pursue a career in this field once I complete my studies. I want to study this program to develop a clear understanding of future career options and demonstrate progress towards achieving them as either an employee or an owner manager or the non-profit sector or within further study within the academic community. I look forward to challenged and difficulty that university will offer and applying myself fully to achieve the standards that I am ultimately capable of.

The UK has grown to become one of the top destinations to study around the world. UK has excellent higher-education system and hundreds of world-class universities. I can take advantage of a huge choice of universities and the excellent standards of teaching that the UK provides. Universities in the UK offer an extremely wide range of courses to choose from. I will also gain new skills that employers look for when I study for a degree in the UK. UK universities will help me think creatively; work from my own initiative and also as part of a team.

In addition, I have got a health and safety training from my job in Tim Horton's. My skills have developed a lot more after studying Human Resources in Sheridan College. Listening to and working with others, findings solutions to problems and working with others from different cultures are my main areas of interest. I have applied my skills and abilities to my previous job as Administrative Billing Specialist where I had to listen to the customer and find solutions to their quires. Apart from that, after finishing my university in UK, I would like to come back to Canada and want to study MBA. I am also looking forward to get CHRP.

For a long time it has been an ambition of mine to have a Business related career, and to study at a University. With my easy-going personality, I will be able to interact readily with an international community and contribution positively to the benefit of the cross culture experiences. I will not only progress at a personal level but also become one step closer to laying the foundation for a successful business future.

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This personal statement was written by pandyakr for application in 2012.

pandyakr's Comments

I am applying for September 2012 and am really confused with my personal statement. What do you guys think of this personal statement?

This personal statement is unrated

Related Personal Statements

Thanks guys.

Sun, 11/03/2012 - 23:10

Hi, thanks for the comment and I got accepted in all five universities Ii applied for.

Don't state the obvious (the

Thu, 05/07/2012 - 09:30

Don't state the obvious (the UK paragraph), you know, i know and they know that UK is one of the best; and if not second to the states.

your'e an inspiration to me!!

Thu, 11/10/2012 - 12:10

Wed, 24/07/2013 - 20:00

Very neat article post.

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    Learn from previous student personal statements here. We have collated over 700 personal statement examples to help you on your university journey and to help you with how to write a personal statement. These personal statement examples will show you the kind of thing that universities are looking for from their applicants.

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    I am applying to study a business degree, specialising in Human resource Management (HRM) because I have undertaken paid work since my 13th birthday and have not stopped, having fulfilled a number of roles, in a number of employment places. The world of business has always intrigued me; being given the opportunity to study Business Studies at A-level then confirmed my idea of pursuing a career ...

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    Medicine Personal Statement Examples. Writing a medicine personal statement has been a part of the lives of medical applicants for many years and is a fundamental part of the selection criteria. The way in which the UCAS personal statement is structured and written is changing for 2026 with the process shifting to a short answer format.

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    I understand the importance of business responsibilities, and aspire to become part of an organisation that puts corporate social responsibility at the heart of their operations. This personal statement was written by iarecj for application in 2015. iarecj's university choices. University of Lincoln. Coventry University.

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    PERSONAL STATEMENT EXAMPLE Management and Human Resources Personal Statement . Submitted by Millie. All Business Studies Statements Search Business Studies Courses . Spaces left at a triple crown uni! Apply to one of the World's only triple accredited Business degrees, at Bradford uni. Placement years offer you the chance to build contacts ...

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    For example, Human Resources and Skills Development Canada, Service Canada and Government of Canada Human Resources Management System. I came to Canada in 2008 and started working in Tim Horton's (café). In 2009, I got promoted as a supervisor with a responsibility to manage the store. I had to make employees work as a team and to make sure ...