essay family is more important than friends

Some People Believe That Family is More Important Than Friends- IELTS Writing Task 2

Updated On Aug 14, 2024

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Sample essay.

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Some people believe that family is more important than friends. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Opinion Essay

Introduction

State the main idea of the topic with synonyms – In today’s era, when the world has morphed into an utterly engaging competitive foreground where everybody is busy and entangled in their stifle, dedicating proper time to our loved ones has become really difficult. Some people contend that family is more important than friends, while some propound that it is not the case.

Body Paragraphs

Paragraph 1 – The family has always been a first and the prime countenance of any individual.

Paragraph 2 – Family knows us better and can help us better in our time of need.

Restate your views.

In today’s era, when the world has morphed into an utterly engaging competitive foreground where everybody is busy and entangled in their stifle, dedicating proper time to our loved ones has become really difficult. Some people contend that family is more important than friends, while some propound that it is not the case. However, I find myself agreeing with the former statement and shall be putting forth my views in the subsequent paragraphs.

The family has always been a first and the prime countenance of any individual. If we extend the ambit of our immediate relations, family is the first staunch port that we come across. Time and again, it has been proven how a faltering individual has been buttressed by their family. Ultimately, they are the ones who turn out to be the only abode while we are made to face the hardships of life. Therefore, it makes sense to rely upon and dedicate one’s time to cultivating and strengthening the roots of the family terms.

Moreover, if one draws a comparison between their family and friends, the former knows the nuances of the individual’s personality and the know-how of their situations at all the times, not necessarily corresponding to a single tonality of life, while one tends to show the superficial sides or the people they choose to be with the friends. Upon some unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances, it has been commonly seen how family members perceive the emotions of what an individual was or had been going through while friends generally miss taking notes of an intrinsic persona of the individual. In such a scenario, one should most certainly keep up with one’s kins and family relations.

Though, some would say, friends can better understand what one is going through as they are presumably  closer, yet, as one sees around, people sketch their personalities in front of their friends and artificially present themselves before them.

In conclusion, it can be said that one should dedicate their time towards one’s family to have a better hold on themselves and to mutually own up to their needs as they are the true essence of love, emotions, sympathy, and happiness in the long run.

Meaning: extremely Sentence: The world has been morphed into an utterly competitive battleground.

Meaning: stuck Sentence: I was entangled in my office work today.

• Countenance

Meaning: facet Sentence: Learning has to be a primary countenance of schooling.

Meaning: loyal Sentence: He has always been my staunch supporter of Mumbai Indians.

Meaning: supported Sentence: Nelson was buttressed by his pals despite his misdemeanour.

Meaning: stumbling; moving unsteadily or hesitantly Sentence: I have been faltering over these speed breakers ever since I came here.

Meaning: shelter Sentence: This place was my final abode during my tough days.

Meaning: a subtle difference in or shade of meaning, expression, or sound. Sentence: You need to be aware of the nuances of this poem.

Meaning: internal/fundamental Sentence: Don’t go into the intrinsic details of this issue.

Meaning: supposedly Sentence: She was presumably a good person.

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Some People Think That the Members of Family are More Important Than Friends - Task 2 Band 9 Essay

Updated: Mar 18

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Some People think that the members of Family are more Important Than Friends.

Do you agree or disagree?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

You should write at least 250 words.

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Model Essay 1

The debate over whether family ties hold greater significance than friendships is a multifaceted one. I firmly believe that while family provides foundational support, the value of friendships cannot be understated, as both play crucial roles in personal development and emotional wellbeing.

Firstly, the inherent bond shared with family members is unparalleled. From the moment of birth, families play a pivotal role in shaping our values, beliefs, and behaviors. This unique relationship, often characterized by unconditional love and support, is foundational to our sense of security and identity. For instance, in times of crisis, families often become the primary source of comfort and assistance, exemplifying the irreplaceable nature of these bonds. Furthermore, familial connections are not just about emotional support; they also include the transmission of cultural heritage and traditions, which are vital for personal identity and continuity.

On the other hand, friendships offer a different spectrum of emotional and social support that complements familial relationships. Friends, chosen based on mutual interests, values, and understanding, provide a sense of belonging outside the family unit. They introduce new perspectives, challenge our thoughts, and encourage personal growth in ways that family members might not. For example, while family provides a safety net, friends often propel us out of our comfort zones, facilitating personal development and self-discovery. This dynamic interaction with friends plays a pivotal role in shaping our adaptability, empathy, and social skills.

In conclusion, while the importance of family is undeniable, friendships hold an equally significant place in our lives. Both family and friends contribute uniquely to our emotional resilience and social development, making it impossible to deem one more important than the other. Therefore, the essence of this discussion lies not in prioritizing one over the other but in recognizing the invaluable contributions each brings to our lives.

Model Essay 2

The significance of family compared to friendships sparks considerable debate. This essay posits that while familial bonds are inherently valuable for foundational support, the enriching experiences friendships provide are equally indispensable. The ensuing discussion will explore the unique benefits of both relationships.

Familial ties, inherently imbued with deep-rooted emotional connections, offer unparalleled support and a sense of belonging that is difficult to replicate. The role of family in nurturing, guiding, and shaping individuals from infancy through adulthood is critical, laying the groundwork for personal values and ethics. For example, the family unit is often the first social structure a person encounters, teaching fundamental social skills and providing a framework for understanding the world. This intrinsic support system not only offers comfort in times of distress but also plays a pivotal role in the development of an individual’s character and worldview.

Contrastingly, friendships introduce a dynamic aspect of social support, characterized by mutual interests, voluntary connections, and personal growth. These relationships, often formed on the basis of shared experiences and ideologies, provide a platform for exploring diverse perspectives and developing social skills beyond the familial context. An illustrative example is the way friends can influence one’s choices, aspirations, and resilience. The voluntary nature of friendship allows for a selection process based on compatibility and shared values, fostering environments where individuals can express themselves freely and evolve.

In summary, while the foundational support of family is indispensable, the unique contributions of friendships are equally vital to an individual’s social and emotional development. Both familial bonds and friendships offer distinct and complementary benefits that collectively enrich a person’s life. Acknowledging the value of each, without diminishing the importance of the other, is key to understanding their integral roles in human development.

Model Essay 3

It is considered by some that family members account for more parts than close friends. Since families offer immediate support and lifetime impact, I strongly agree with this viewpoint.

To begin with, it has been repeatedly demonstrated how a shaky person is buttressed by their family. They provide the crucial assistance in times of adversities regardless of circumstances, including financial difficulty, mental sickness, or physical incapacity. Parents, for instance, can assist children in any circumstance even when their offspring are unable to provide any monetary incentives in exchange, whereas close friends are unlikely to provide this free support. In the worst case, parents are likely to use most of their retirement savings to help their loved ones to get through significant financial hardships. Family is therefore the final resort for receiving most assistance.

Another aspect is that people often act and think like their family members. To put it another way, because individuals spend the majority of their time with their family, it seems sense that they would think and act similarly to them. For instance, because I was raised in a conservative home and was taught that there should be no sexual activity before marriage, I ended my relationship with my former lover in accordance with this deeply ingrained belief. Families therefore exert a variety of influences and are crucial in shaping people's attitudes and behaviours.

In conclusion, I still firmly believe that family should be prioritized over friends because in the end, while we are forced to deal with life's difficulties, family members are the only ones who provide us unwavering assistance with sustainable influence.

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Band 4+: Some people believe that family members are more important than friends. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

In this modern society many people believe that relatives are more important in life other then friends. Although I partially agree with this statement.

On one hand, having friends is very important from your childhood because firstly they will help you in every condition even in your very low stage financially and emotionally. For example, many business people partner up with their childhood friend because of that trust. Furthermore, there are some disadvantages of having bad friends. For example, they force other members of the friend’s group for doing drugs, sometimes smoking drinking and so many more due to this people get bad habits.

On the other hand, family members are also very important in a person’s life. Firstly, because the love they provide that is un- matchable. For example, parents love, in every condition they love us. Secondly, they boost our confidence in our education, fitness, and so many more. For example, whenever we fail in our exams or in a test, they encourage us and motivate us in the particular work.

In conclusion, both friends and family are the most important in everyone’s life sometimes friend’s help’s us and sometimes family members helps us.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Many individuals contend that family members play a more crucial role in the life of a person rather than friends. I completely agree with this notion because family members are not judgmental and these bonds are unreplaceable. This essay will discuss about it in the forthcoming paragraphs. On one hand, friends are the ones who […]

In contemporary society, the importance of family members over friends is stressed by some individuals. While I acknowledge the merits of friend companionship, I contend that family members hold a more crucial position in our life. Undeniably, a large circle of friends is indispensable for an interesting and dynamic life. Engaging in outdoor activities alongside […]

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IELTS Topic: Family

by Dave | Topics | 1 Comment

Here all the sample answer IELTS essays that I have written on the topic of family!

This includes essays related to children, husbands, wives, spouses, grandparents, work/life balance, houses, apartments, parents, childbirth, and more.

Check out my IELTS EBooks here.

IELTS Family Topics

In marriages today, some argue that it is the responsibility of both spouses to earn a living for the family.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?  

Read my sample essay here.

More and more people today are moving away from where their friends and family live.

Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Read my sample here.

Some people believe that engaging in an active pastime does more to develop children’s life skills than time spent reading.

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Read my essay here.

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government has the responsibility to solve this problem.

Some believe that younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting older family members when they become physically, mentally and financially unable to look after themselves.

Today family members eat fewer meals together.

Why is this?

Is this a positive or negative trend?

Many parents encourage young people to leave home when they become older, while others think they should stay at home with the family.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.

Many people think that it is better to get advice from old rather than young people.

Many parents today do not spend much time with their children.

Does this affect parents or children more?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

It is better for children if the whole family including aunts, uncles and so on are involved in a child’s upbringing, rather than just their parents.

In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people.

What are the solutions?

These days more fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work.

What could be the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence.

Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

It is sometimes suggested that primary schoolchildren should learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals.

Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Parents should take courses in parenting in order to improve the lives of their children.

To what extent do you agree ?

Read my essay on Patreon.

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them.

What are the problems related to this?

What are some possible solutions?

Some people believe that family is more important than friends.

To what extent do you agree and disagree?

Many people nowadays tend to marry and have children in their thirties rather than at a younger age.

Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think parents are responsible for transporting their children to school. Others think it is the government’s responsibility.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

Fewer and fewer children are willing to look after their parents as they get older   these days.

All fathers should be entitled to time-off from work when their children are born.

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years.

What are the primary causes of this?

What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Some people spend a lot of money celebrating personal family events, such as weddings and birthdays.

How important is it to celebrate such events?

Do you think people spend too much money on these events?

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages.

Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, crimes rates amongst younger people has been rising.

Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

Some people think that children can learn about history by visiting museums, while others feel that there are better ways to learn about history.

Some people believe that children should do sports so that they will grow up as healthy adults, but others feel sports are just about enjoying yourself.

Discuss these both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.

Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Children are now facing educational, social, and commercial pressures.

What are the causes of these pressures?

What measures can be taken to reduce them?

Some think that fathers should have time off from work after the birth of a child.

Because many children are not able to learn foreign languages, schools should not force them to learn foreign languages.

Many claim that the fast food industry had a negative effect on the environment, eating habits, and families.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this.

Why is this happening?

Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

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Mr.Dave can you help me marking this essay! Thank you very much <3 Some people believe that volunteer work should be a requirement for teenagers in high schools (for instance, working for a charity). To what extent do you agree or disagree? ________________________________________________________________________ Many point out that voluntary experience should be an aspect of requirement for juveniles in high schools. From my personal intuition, I totally side with this recommendation as this encouragement may have influences in forming a responsible individual that serves a role for society, and directly contributes to the national status of living throughout a meaningful voluntary trip. Volunteer work is one of many factors that may determine students to be a liable citizen. Setting out the voluntary criteria encourage students to indulge in more moral activities, as they would spend their constructive pastime for it, provided that the juveniles, at least, had the natural demand to successfully fulfill the academic profile, or moreover, wanted to recreate the affiliation with the miserable ones and reached the emotion of sympathy. As government or the school administrators may offer limited quantities of voluntary event due to the certain levels of accountability that comes with extra fee, students must be totally conscientious to acquire a good moral report. In Vietnam, students can be benefited when applying jobs, on the ground that most employers are fond of voluntary activists’ experiences and their decent behaviors. Direct volunteer enrollment in school can directly help people. As most voluntary trips are pay-free so it is highly recommended to many high schools, increase the potential of the upward of standard living, get rid of “child-labor” in many countries. Notwithstanding, as appreciate as these activities might be, safety of the schoolers is unpredictable, due to the low segments of economy people often reside at mountainous regions. However, the sum of myriad of small activist groups sometimes benefits more than a celebrity appeal to the crowds, intercept chances of fraud and waste money on an unknown or unreliable sources. In conclusion, volunteer work should be a criterion in high schools’ process of learning, on the ground that it can be presumed as an intact way of educating citizens and a noticeable way to convey contribution towards their motherlands.

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Family vs. Friends: Comparing Key Relationships

Gabrielle is an experienced freelance writer and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with experience using equine-assisted therapy.

Learn about our Editorial Policy .

Friendships and familial relationships can be both a source of stress and a source of comfort depending on the circumstances. Whatever your own unique relational balance is amongst your friends and/or family members, know that both friends and family can provide meaningful and fulfilling connections.

Family vs. Friends

When it comes to comparing friendships and familial relationships, know that the quality of the relationship is a key component of how meaningful, supportive, and fulfilling a relationship is. This means that whether you are mostly close with your friends or your family, you can still experience loving, healthy, and respectful relationships.

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• Acquaintances vs. Friends: Differences & Tips to Move From One to the Other

Which Is Better Family or Friends?

There is no "better" when it comes to a familial relationship or friendship. Relationships are all different and will vary based on unique circumstances. A fairer comparison would be to ask yourself which relationships are healthier? Healthy relationships may be absent amongst your family, but not amongst your friendships, or vice versa.

How Do Friends Differ From Family Members?

One big difference between family and friends is that your family member's relational label will not change, even if you have an argument. Your sibling, parent, aunt, or cousin will always maintain that relational label, even if you become estranged. With friendships, if you have a falling out, your relationship status can change and you may end up completely disconnected. In some families, there is more of an undertone that no matter what, family is family, and issues may be prioritized for resolution, while this may not be the case with some friendships.

Family vs. Friends Comparison Chart

Both family and friends can be caring, loving, irreplaceable, and maintain their relationship with you through the ups and downs of life. While some families are open, loving, and warm, others can be cold, abusive, and neglectful . Unlike with friendships, especially if you are a minor, families can feel more difficult to remove yourself from. Family relationships may also be associated with more complex issues, hierarchical disparities, and circumstances where one may feel indebted to another, while healthy friendships have an even power structure.

Why Do I Like My Friends More Than My Family?

If you feel like your friends have replaced your family or that you prefer your friends to your family, know that you are not alone. Many individuals turn to friends when they have difficulties with their family members or feel as if their friends are more trustworthy and understand them better than family members do. You have control over who you choose to surround yourself with friend-wise, but that's not the case when it comes to family. Being able to choose friends who support and accept you may feel a lot different when compared to your family relationships.

Do Family Members Count as Friends?

Family members can also be considered friends. There is no rule stating that a family member can't also be a friend. You may have a cousin close in age, a sibling who you consider to be a best friend, or another family member who you feel like you can truly confide in.

Friends or Family- Who Do You Rely on the Most and Why?

Relying more on a family member or friend will depend on your unique situation. Some individuals:

• Have an unhealthy family situation and prefer to rely on friends
• Have a more difficult time making and/or maintaining friendships and may rely more on family members
• May rely on family members for certain matters and friends for others

Family Versus Friends Quotes

Quotes about friendships and relationships with your family can highlight their similarities and differences. These quotes can feel inspirational to read, write in a card, or be communicate in other ways you see fit.

Are Friends Better Than Family for Your Health?

Research indicates that friendships, especially for adults, predict better health outcomes than familial relationships do. Having solid, reliable friendships was more closely tied to feeling happier and healthier.

Is It More Important to Have a Good Family Than Friends?

Research indicates that having good friends is tied to better mental and physical health outcomes. With that said, every circumstance is unique, and it's up to you to figure out which relationships in your life feel fulfilling, supportive, and loving, regardless if they are with a family member or friend.

Family or Friends

Relationships with friends and family members are unique to each individual. Know that there is no right or wrong way to have healthy and meaningful relationships, whether that means being closer to your friends or family members.

Which is more important family or friends?

birdman 3 / 28   Apr 5, 2011   #2 I do not think that it would be true to compare both family and friends. Our parents are those people who teach us to discriminate between white and black, good and bad and other things. They built our foundation which helps us in our further future. Speaking about friends, it should be mentioned that the friendship between our friends never lasts up to our lives. When we lose our friends, we meet new ones. They also impact on us, but I think that a person should put his or her parents first, and then friends. It is my point of view. Thanks.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13136   Apr 6, 2011   #3 Family is the inception of our existence. Wow, very nice... or example, even we were adapted children, we couldn't adopted children cannot stop seeking their real parents who have never looked after us at all. Friend , on the other hand, share school life, emotions and secrets with us. As tutors , our friends assist us in learning difficult... Moreover, sharing our emotion and secrets can make us inhibited when telling our parents about it, but with them tends to serve as a effective way to reduce the pressure on us. :-) I like your ideas!!!!!!!!!

It is more important to have a good family than to have friends Family can always compensate for the absence of friendship To what extent do you agree or disagree

It is more important to have a good family than to have friends. Family can always compensate for the absence of friendship. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some believe that a strong relationship among family members should take precedence over the friendships with outsiders as families can always make it up for poor socialization. I disagree with this belief.

It is understandable why people give preference in having a good family rather than extending social connections. One reason is that a close-knit family could help individuals feel more secure and supported. Unlike the relationships with strangers and colleagues, family relationship is usually stronger and long-lasting as members of the same family have better mutual understandings than anyone else from the outside world. Therefore, it would be more comfortable to share people’s personal issues with their close relatives and receive a trust-worthy piece of advice. With friends, secrets may be unsafe and suggestions could be less trusty. This is why a family is preferred to fully rely on for some people.

However, it is quite wrong to conclude that family always compensates for the lack of friendship. One reason to support my standpoint is that, in this busy life, people cannot completely count on their family with every problem, especially ones that are related to their career. The support from family stops at good advice and thus, cannot directly impact on people’s at-work issues. This is when the social relationship with co-workers takes its role. If individuals have a wide social connection, they can actually ask for supportive actions from the surrounding colleagues to really solve their concurrent problems which family cannot physically interfere with. This is the reason why family can merely provide mental support and thus, definitely cannot compensate for poor social experience.

In conclusion, I would argue that the absence of friendship cannot always be compensated by having a good family. To survive in the modern life, people should have a balanced relationship with both family and acquaintances.

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Essay evaluations by e-grader

Transition Words or Phrases used: actually, however, if, may, really, so, therefore, thus, in conclusion

Attributes: Values AverageValues Percentages(Values/AverageValues)% => Comments

Performance on Part of Speech: To be verbs : 14.0 13.1623246493 106% => OK Auxiliary verbs: 15.0 7.85571142285 191% => OK Conjunction : 8.0 10.4138276553 77% => OK Relative clauses : 8.0 7.30460921844 110% => OK Pronoun: 24.0 24.0651302605 100% => OK Preposition: 37.0 41.998997996 88% => OK Nominalization: 6.0 8.3376753507 72% => OK

Performance on vocabulary words: No of characters: 1660.0 1615.20841683 103% => OK No of words: 303.0 315.596192385 96% => OK Chars per words: 5.47854785479 5.12529762239 107% => OK Fourth root words length: 4.17215713816 4.20363070211 99% => OK Word Length SD: 3.01186896465 2.80592935109 107% => OK Unique words: 174.0 176.041082164 99% => OK Unique words percentage: 0.574257425743 0.561755894193 102% => OK syllable_count: 517.5 506.74238477 102% => OK avg_syllables_per_word: 1.7 1.60771543086 106% => OK

A sentence (or a clause, phrase) starts by: Pronoun: 9.0 5.43587174349 166% => OK Article: 1.0 2.52805611222 40% => OK Subordination: 1.0 2.10420841683 48% => OK Conjunction: 0.0 0.809619238477 0% => OK Preposition: 4.0 4.76152304609 84% => OK

Performance on sentences: How many sentences: 16.0 16.0721442886 100% => OK Sentence length: 18.0 20.2975951904 89% => OK Sentence length SD: 51.9789245151 49.4020404114 105% => OK Chars per sentence: 103.75 106.682146367 97% => OK Words per sentence: 18.9375 20.7667163134 91% => OK Discourse Markers: 4.375 7.06120827912 62% => OK Paragraphs: 4.0 4.38176352705 91% => OK Language errors: 0.0 5.01903807615 0% => OK Sentences with positive sentiment : 10.0 8.67935871743 115% => OK Sentences with negative sentiment : 2.0 3.9879759519 50% => More negative sentences wanted. Sentences with neutral sentiment: 4.0 3.4128256513 117% => OK What are sentences with positive/Negative/neutral sentiment?

Coherence and Cohesion: Essay topic to essay body coherence: 0.331059686266 0.244688304435 135% => OK Sentence topic coherence: 0.119135075745 0.084324248473 141% => OK Sentence topic coherence SD: 0.0768342025203 0.0667982634062 115% => OK Paragraph topic coherence: 0.226318126249 0.151304729494 150% => OK Paragraph topic coherence SD: 0.0335100267088 0.056905535591 59% => OK

Essay readability: automated_readability_index: 13.9 13.0946893788 106% => OK flesch_reading_ease: 44.75 50.2224549098 89% => OK smog_index: 8.8 7.44779559118 118% => OK flesch_kincaid_grade: 11.5 11.3001002004 102% => OK coleman_liau_index: 14.5 12.4159519038 117% => OK dale_chall_readability_score: 9.01 8.58950901804 105% => OK difficult_words: 86.0 78.4519038076 110% => OK linsear_write_formula: 8.5 9.78957915832 87% => OK gunning_fog: 9.2 10.1190380762 91% => OK text_standard: 9.0 10.7795591182 83% => OK What are above readability scores?

--------------------- Rates: 73.0337078652 out of 100 Scores by essay e-grader: 6.5 Out of 9 --------------------- Note: the e-grader does NOT examine the meaning of words and ideas. VIP users will receive further evaluations by advanced module of e-grader and human graders.

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• A Research Guide
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The Family is More Important than Friends Essay

This goes down without much argument that family is more important than friendship. The family should come first and friends later.

The family and friends will give you the emotional support that you need when you need it. They are always there for you throughout the ups and down of life. Friends may abandon you when things get tough, but family hardly will run away from you when things are not working out.

Take an example of an instance when you have lost a job, or maybe you have poor health. At this time you can’t tend to your needs properly. It’s during such times when you badly need support. Most of the people that you may have thought are your friends and wouldn’t leave you alone always disappoint you by abandoning you, but family members will see you through your struggles till you rise again.

Another reason why the family should always come first is that they mostly know your deepest secrets and were always with you when you were a young child. Most friends would and will use what they know to be your shameful past or secrets to hurt you when there is a misunderstanding. But your family is always concerned about your well-being and will go to any length to make sure that the secrets are guarded at all cost.

As I summarize my argument, it’s evidently clear that while we need friends in our lives, it is paramount to know and acknowledge the crucial role that our family plays throughout our lifetime. The family’s emotional, financial, physical and spiritual support is vital and should not be sidelined. Our family members can be our best friends, but our best friends can’t become our family members. After all, blood is always thicker than water

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Some people believe that family is more important than friends. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

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• unconditional love
• shared values
• mutual understanding
• emotional well-being
• interdependence
• societal norms
• companionship
• experiences
• trustworthy
• attach importance to
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Task 1: Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.

You travelled by plane last week and your suitcase was lost. you have still heard nothing from the airline company. write to the airline and explain what happened. describe your suitcase and tell them what was in it. find out what they are going to do about it., more and more people today are using computers and electronic devices to access information. therefore there is no need to print books, magazines and newspapers. to what extent do you agree or disagree, some people think that success in lìe comé from hard work and determination while others think that there are more imporrtant factors as money and appearance. discuss both view and give your opinion., all cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned and electric cars should replace them. do you agree or disagree.

Greater Good Science Center • Magazine • In Action • In Education

Why Your Friends Are More Important Than You Think

Researchers and philosophers have explored in great detail the emotional dramas of love and family. But they’ve spent much less time pondering the deep satisfaction of a good friend.

A similar thing happens in our own lives, writes science journalist Lydia Denworth. When something’s gotta give, it’s often our friendships, which take a backseat to our family and work obligations—or our latest fling.

But that’s a mistake, she argues in her new book, Friendship: The Evolution, Biology, and Extraordinary Power of Life’s Fundamental Bond . In fact, research suggests that friendships can help us find purpose and meaning, stay healthy, and live longer. The intimacy, support, equality, and emotional bonds we have in our friendships are unique.

Her book honors the relationships forged through slumber parties, shoulders cried upon, and kindnesses that don’t need to be repaid. “The science of friendship gives you permission to hang out with your friends and call it healthy,” she says. “You’re not being indulgent.” In a conversation with Greater Good , Denworth explains why we need our friends and how to keep those connections strong—even in a pandemic.

Kira Newman: How does friendship change for people across their lifespan?  


Lydia Denworth:  When you’re very young, of course, your primary social relationship is with your parents or caregivers. But when kids go to school, they start to have deeper friendships that involve, first, doing things together, and then a deeper, shared emotional element. Then in adolescence, it becomes even more abstract and relational.

All the way through high school and college, friendships can feel easy because you are thrown into an environment where you have lots of same-age peers and the pool of potential friends is big. Also, when you’re an adolescent, your brain is as attuned to social signals and connection as it will ever be. You are really hyper-interested in social activity.


Then in adulthood, as people start to have jobs and maybe get married or have a family, it can become harder to spend time with your friends. Toward the end of life, we tend to come back around to having a little bit more time once kids are grown and careers and jobs are less demanding.


There are these transition points in life when it’s easier or harder to spend time with friends, but what is important for people to know is that friendship is a lifelong endeavor and that it is something that people should be paying attention to at all points in life. I think that people sometimes think (especially in their 30s and 40s), “I just don’t have time for friends right now,” and that’s a mistake.

If you get to be 65 and then now you’re ready to start paying attention to friends, well, it’s a little bit like stopping smoking when you’re 65. If you go from 15 to 65 and you smoke the whole time, it’s still better to stop than not, but some damage will have been done. And if you don’t pay attention to friends all the way along, the same thing is true. 

KN: You observe in your book that we tend to neglect our friendships when we get busy, more so than other relationships. Can you say more about that?

LD:  The reason we do that is that we feel more beholden to our family that we’re related to, and that makes plenty of sense—we’re legally and biologically connected to our family members. So, I’m not saying that we should be spending a lot less time with family. But we also feel that spending time with friends, instead of working, is indulgent.

My message is that it is not necessarily indulgent because having good, strong friendships is as important for yourself as diet and exercise, and so it’s something you need to prioritize. If you are forever canceling on your friends or failing to make a point of seeing them or talking to them or interacting with them, then you are not being a good friend and you are not maintaining a strong relationship. You need your friends to be there down the road. But you have to do the work along the way, or they won’t be there. Friendship does take some time, but that’s kind of good news because (mostly) hanging out with your friends is fun.

The second half of the story, though, is that it’s quite normal for there to be change in our friendships over the course of a lifetime, and that’s OK. Friendship does need to be a relationship that’s longstanding, but you can cycle through several longstanding friendships in the course of your life. So, it isn’t that you can only stay friends with the people you knew when you were young, of course, because plenty of people do make friends in adulthood and those can become closer friends.

If a relationship is not healthy or even if it’s just not serving you well—if it’s not positive, if it’s really draining, or if it’s lopsided and one of you is always helping the other but not vice versa—that’s not so great. I think people need to realize that it is OK to walk away from friendships that aren’t good ones.  
 KN: That seems like the flipside of all the amazing benefits that we get when we have strong friendships: There’s a lot of potential for pain when we have difficult, conflict-ridden relationships. 


LD:  Just like a strong relationship is good for you, a negative relationship is bad for you. Even an ambivalent relationship is bad for you, it turns out, biologically. 

An ambivalent relationship is a relationship where you have positive feelings and negative feelings about the person or about your interactions with them. And that’s true of a lot of our relationships—almost half. 


Researchers had a scale of one to five: How positive does this relationship make you feel, and how negative does this relationship make you feel? Anybody who was two or above on both things counted as ambivalent, which is really broad. You could be five on the good and two on the bad. What was interesting was that any relationship that was categorized as ambivalent seemed to generate cardiovascular issues and other kinds of health problems. 


It’s not as surprising that a toxic relationship would be bad for your health. But I think that the problem with ambivalent relationships, which a lot of us have many of, is more surprising. I think most people suspect that the good outweighs the bad, and so far (it’s early days in that research) it doesn’t look that way. 

I think that all this is a reminder of the importance of working on relationships—all of them, but including your friendships. There’s real value in a positive friendship.

If it isn’t positive, then you can do a couple of things. One is you can try to make it better, work on it, have a hard conversation, perhaps. Two is you quit and you say, “I’m not going to have this person in my life,” but that can be very dramatic. And three would be that you shuffle that friend to the outer circles of your social life. Maybe it’s not someone you can easily stop seeing, but if you don’t rely on them emotionally anymore, then that’s better for you. 


KN: Are there some practices you would suggest or steps that you take in your own life to put more time and energy into friendship?  


LD:  It really does just begin as simply as paying attention and prioritizing. I try regularly to plan to get together with my close friends and the people I care about seeing a lot. We all have relatively busy lives, but I, first of all, make an effort to make the plan, and then I make an effort to get there—to show up. I think showing up is a really critical piece of friendship, in every sense of the phrase. 


It could just be that you don’t have time to get together with someone for dinner for weeks, so you have a phone call and you catch up that way. Taking time to catch up on somebody’s life and hear what’s going on with them is an important indicator of it’s worth my time to know what’s going on in your life .


In addition, I think it’s useful to remember that science has clarified the definition of a quality relationship. It has to have these minimum three things: It’s a stable, longstanding bond; it’s positive; and it’s cooperative—it’s helpful, reciprocal, I’m there for you, you’re there for me . 


When you’re interacting with your friends, you should be thinking about your side of it. Am I contributing to that? Have I been helpful lately? When was the last time I said something nice or told somebody why I appreciated them or did something nice for someone? Am I a reliable presence in that person’s life? You can think about the way you interact with your friends as needing to fall into those buckets, at a minimum. 

The same thing goes for the online, as well: being positive, being helpful, showing up from a distance, whether that’s just checking in by text or sending a funny joke or forwarding an article or calling—making time. People have been stressed and anxious lately, so we need to be there and provide an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, even virtually. 


KN: Right now, people in many places haven’t seen their friends for months. What do we miss out on when we can’t be around our friends in person?  


LD:  There’s a richness to being with your friends in person, and it hits all your senses. So, we’re not getting any of the tactile sense of being with our friends, and there’s a difference when you see them on a screen vs. when you see them in person, although we don’t entirely know in neuroscientific terms what those differences are yet. 


One of the things our brains do automatically when we’re having a conversation with someone in person is this natural sense of “call and response,” that I’m talking, and then you respond, and then you talk and I respond. We are reading each other’s cues in a way that makes it easier to do that.

When you’re online, sometimes not only is there a little bit of an artificialness to the interaction but there’s literally a lag that’s built in from the technology, and that is quite off-putting for our brains. Our brains recognize that as a different kind of interaction, and they don’t like it very much. I think that’s one reason why some people are being driven crazy by Zoom. And if you have a group on Zoom, it’s very hard figuring out who’s going to speak next. There’s a way that we handle that with nonverbal cues in person that is harder to pull off virtually. 


When you’re in person, you can have a much more natural conversation. There’s an ease and a warmth and a naturalness that we get when we’re with our friends, and I think we really are missing the ability to hug them and high five—that’s big stuff that matters a lot. So, it’s a loss. 

That said, people are reporting a lot of positive experiences, even remotely. We’re being forced to interact virtually, but we’re getting a lot of benefits out of it. It’s not the same, but it’s a whole lot better than nothing. Limited though it is, technology has been a lifesaver in this moment. I can’t imagine what this would have been like if we didn’t have it. 


KN: What do you most hope people will take away from the book?  

LD:  That they will make friendship a priority, that they will call a friend and work harder on thinking about the importance of being a good friend, that parents will think about talking to kids about the importance of friendship and modeling being a good friend and prioritizing it. Parents are full of messages about achievement, and not as many messages about what it means to be a good friend, but I think it’s one of the most important skills that a child can develop. Through all our lives, the importance of friendship has been hiding in plain sight.

About the Author

Kira M. Newman

Kira M. Newman is the managing editor of Greater Good . Her work has been published in outlets including the Washington Post , Mindful magazine, Social Media Monthly , and Tech.co, and she is the co-editor of The Gratitude Project . Follow her on Twitter!

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