Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare Essay (Critical Writing)

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Psychoanalysis often consists of different approaches, and the same topic or work can be seen from various perspectives. For example, William Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet tells the story of the titular characters who belong to rivaling households. This play explores the topic of forbidden love, as the main characters never get what they want due to their circumstances. The following text will review it from Jung’s, Freud’s, and Lacan’s theories.

Sigmund Freud’s perspective of the psyche is actively tied to sexual desire and the three aspects of one’s personality. These aspects are id, ego, and superego, and they have a significant effect on a person’s actions and motivations (Studious Guy, 2021). Romeo represents a classic example of one’s id prevailing over the other aspects, as he is rather impulsive and emotional. Juliet and Friar Laurence, on the other hand, have more fluctuating versions of these aspects. As soon as he first meets her, he forgets about his prior unrequited feelings for Rosaline and wants to be with the Capulet daughter. The young man triggers a conflict between her id, ego and superego, as she is aware of the rivalry; however, she desires to be with Romeo against all odds.

There is a very interesting similarity between Juliet and Friar Laurence, as both start experiencing the domination of their id over their superego and ego. Laurence is an even stronger example of that, as he poses as the mentor for the two youths; however, when he views an opportunity to use them as a way to help their families reconcile, the man agrees to preserve Romeo and Juliet’s bond and unite them with marriage (Shakespeare, 1597). At first, it seems that under the influence of their relationship, the young man becomes more rational, as he refuses to fight with Tybalt. Unfortunately, this is instantly disproven after Romeo murdering him as revenge, being banished and him ultimately taking his life, causing Juliet’s demise as well. Perhaps, if their superego had dominated, their lives would have taken a different turn, and Laurence’s goal would have been achieved without losses.

Carl Jung’s views are not as heavily reliant on sexual desires, as they are on one’s life force. He believed that the psyche’s main goal was achieving individuation, where one becomes independent from the collective unconscious, evolves into a mature and harmonious individual, and develops their true identity (GoodTherapy, 2018). The collective unconscious is formed with the help of symbols, patterns and situations related to archetypes. At the beginning of the story, Romeo represents a blend between the Rebel and the Lover, as he is irrational but appreciates love (Exploring Your Mind, 2020). Juliet seems uninterested in this concept before she meets him and is usually more rational, being the Sage. Friar Laurence is the classic example of the Caregiver, as he attempts to guide the youths through this situation.

Unfortunately, this relationship creates a conflict between the counterparts of their archetypes and deconstructs their Animus and Anima. For Juliet, her rationality and sensibility become her Persona, while in Romeo’s case it is his prioritization of thinking before acting (Studio Binder, 2022). Irrationality is completely atypical of Friar Laurence, as he attempts to protect the teenagers from their demise and fails under the influence of his wish to bring peace to the two rivalling families. Juliet becomes more impulsive, threatening to die by suicide in case she is married to Paris. Romeo attempts to conceal this side of his personality, as he tries to find peace between himself and his wife’s cousin. Alas, Romeo’s Persona is the first to collapse, as his Shadow prevails and ultimately results in Tybalt’s, his and Juliet’s death. Thus, they do not achieve individuation, as their lives and personality become disorganized, and meet an abrupt end.

Jacques Lacan’s views triggered discussions of one’s desire and its inattainability. While most people eventually find peace with this gap, the characters in the story do not. In the play, Romeo constantly seeks love for some unknown reason and there is always something standing in his way. Lacan believed that one’s desire is the other individual’s desire (Psychiatric Times, 2018). Whatever the two were seeking in love, whether it is stability, the ideal partner or the sensation that follows it, they never actually find it. This is because Romeo’s vengeful murder of Tybalt is followed by a chain of events that ultimately becomes their obstacle to achieving that unconscious desire. Unfortunately, the characters are not at peace with this loss, as the two eventually meet their untimely death as a result. Regarding Friar Laurence, it can be presumed that while his goal of making the families reconcile has been achieved, he never truly achieves his desire, just like the two teenagers.

In conclusion, the story of Romeo and Juliet receives different perceptions when viewed by the lens of Jung’s, Lacan’s and Freud’s theories. From Freud’s perspective, the characters’ problems can be perceived as the result of a conflict between their superego, id and ego. Romeo is the first one never to find harmony between the three aspects, while Juliet and Laurence develop a conflict with those moments due to his relationship with her. Jung’s beliefs are centered on the person becoming independent from the collective unconscious and evolving into a harmonious individual. This never happens to the three people, as the characters’ lives and personalities become disorganized and dishevelled under the influence of their circumstances. Finally, from Lacan’s perspective, desire is something that is unconscious and unattainable. While many people find peace with the gap presented by it, Romeo, Juliet and Laurence do not, which results in the death of the teenagers and the sorrow of the Friar.

Exploring Your Mind. (2020). The 12 jungian archetypes . Exploring your mind. Web.

GoodTherapy. (2018). Jungian psychotherapy . GoodTherapy – Find the Right Therapist. Web.

Psychiatric Times. (2018). Jacques Lacan: The best and least known psychoanalyst . Web.

StudioBinder. (2022). Jungian archetypes explained for writers . Web.

Studious Guy. (2021). Freud’s psychoanalytic theories explained . StudiousGuy – Your Study Buddy. Web.

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Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare

1. introduction.

Act 1 Scene 3 starts with Lady Capulet conversing with Juliet about her thoughts on getting married. Lady Capulet brings up the subject of marriage to Juliet and tells her that Paris has asked for her hand in marriage. Lady Capulet tells Juliet that she is going to meet Paris that night at the Capulet ball. Juliet obediently responds and says that she will look at Paris at the ball to see if she could love him, accept the invitation of looking at him at the ball, and give me discovery about the rest of my suit. Lady Capulet is very pleased with Juliet's answer and thanks her for agreeing to look at Paris. Lady Capulet tells Juliet that she is going to tell Capulet that Juliet agrees to marry Paris. Lady Capulet is very sure that the marriage can be settled pronto. Juliet agrees to try and love Paris because her parents want her to and she promises she will look at him at the ball.

2. Themes of Forbidden Love

Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet is a play that has found lasting relevance, and his words still have an impact on the world today. The themes of forbidden love are clearly apparent throughout the play, from the beginning with the innocent love of Romeo and Juliet, to the tragic end that decrees the "star-crossed" lovers as "death-marked." It is evident that the couple are going against the free will of the families and that the cultural norm and the laws of the city are against them. These themes are greatly discussed and have been explored amongst many critics. The love of Romeo and Juliet is portrayed to be a match made in heaven. They are immediately stunned by one another's looks despite finding out their last names after the party. This is shown when Juliet finds out who Romeo is in reality she says, "My only love sprung from my only hate!" The sonnet that they create together during their first meeting shows that the couple are very well matched from the beginning. "Romeo: If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. Juliet: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." This is the beginning of the couple defying their parents, since the sonnet tempts Juliet to kiss Romeo and the audience would be endeared by the lovers and may want this trend to break due to the overwhelming love experienced by the couple. The sonnet shows the deep connection between the couple and how natural it is for them to be together.

2.1. Love at First Sight

They first meet early Sunday morning when Juliet has not had her chance at confession, and they first exchange words with a sonnet, the form of which symbolizes pure love. Romeo uses religious imagery to woo Juliet, which would have been considered sacrilegious at the time, as strictly religious devotion was the fashion expected from a suitor. This is the beginning of the couple’s thematic association with imagery of religion and metaphysics. They also consistently speak in the form of the sonnet, which shows their mental and spiritual connection. Later, when they decide to get married, the Friar and the Nurse express concern. The Friar, when he and Romeo are discussing the event, recognizes the suddenness of Romeo’s decision and perceives it as “Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast.” and almost patronizing Romeo into being cautious on his binding himself to a single affection. The Nurse expresses a similar concern after Juliet has made that decision: “Hast thou slain Tybalt? Wilt thou slay thyself? And stay thy lady too that lives in thee, By doing damnèd hate upon thyself? Why rail’st thou on thy birth, the Heaven and Earth? Since birth, and Heaven and Earth, all three are wrong, I now see that this a sanctuary where my old nuns pray. And this is the fate I must wive enclosed in before checking their future together and the responsibility of it. When the two lovers do die, Capulet and Montague realize what their hatred has done. It has caused the death of their only children, and they agree to reconcile for their children’s sake. This shocking and unexpected turn of events jolts the play and causes the shift in focus from the lovers back to the feud until the resolve at the very end.

2.2. Familial Feud

Romeo and Juliet fall in love and their families hate each other. We get this information from the prologue. The prologue states, "Two households, both alike in dignity, in fair Verona, where we lay our scene, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean." Typically, when one's family does not like their lover's counterpart, that is a red flag in the relationship. But it can also be more motivation to see each other, depending on the will of the child. These two young kids are going to fight their families' hatred to stay together. In doing so, Seals concludes, "Conflict is thereby created between the world of the lovers and the enmity of the two families." The families' hatred for each other is so ancient and runs so deep that no one knows, not even themselves, what they are fighting about. The conflict becomes so faint that they become like the friar's metaphor of the flowers poisoned, growing side by side. And there's a plague on both your houses line. Bevington points out that "The only thing that is clear about the struggle between the two families is that it can have no possible good outcome." This becomes evident when both Romeo and Juliet each learn of the other's identity at the end of the play in the Capulet tomb, and each exclaims, "O happy dagger. This is thy sheath. I'll rust in and let me die." Because they have realized that no matter what happens, they are unable to live with one another. The only option they have left is death.

2.3. Secret Romance

There, Romeo and Juliet profess their love to each other in a matter of hours. The first meeting sets the stage for the following events. The first example of fate in this play is when Romeo reads the invitation to Capulet's party. At the party, Romeo is searching for his lover Rosaline. Romeo sees Juliet and it is love at first sight. Romeo, forgetting about Rosaline just hours after he was heartbroken, shows to the audience that Romeo's love for Juliet is genuine. It shows that this is how Romeo and Juliet fall in love. The first thing that happens is that Romeo and Juliet fall in love with each other when they are not supposed to. This happens when they find out they are from enemy families located to one another, denying them biblical nuptial. This entire section of Act 2, Scene 2 is when they are devising this plan to get married, which is shown when Romeo says "To-morrow and to-morrow and to-morrow," and Juliet responds to this by saying "Wilt thou be gone?" It also gives their love nothing for at hand, which being rushed and unripe. Step 8 is the tragic downfall of the two star-crossed lovers. This is in the last couple of acts when Romeo and Juliet die. This is the inevitable result of the decisions made throughout the play. The entire reason for Romeo and Juliet's tragic downfall is due to the whirlwind romance they have. They suffer from the repercussions of their actions. The secret love between the two lovers and the decisions made through impulse have led to a huge domino effect of bad luck, with anything and everything going wrong. This starts at the start of Act 2, Scene 2 when they realize the dagger metaphor "I am the only one to take the weapon from its sheath," which is their first talk of the impulsiveness of their decisions in the future. Suffering up until the deaths of Tybalt and even Mercutio, they continuously say it is a result of our love. Coming back to haunt the two ill-fated lovers. Romeo and Juliet are driven by love to carry on with their impulsive plans to get married in secret at Friar Laurence's cell. Even though there are many hints from Friar Lawrence telling them it's not a good idea, from the line "In one respect I'll thy assistance be to this a corporal," or "hast thou," and Juliet's "O then be brief," said by Juliet, this is referencing the wedding. Step 8 of the sequence is the marriage union of the two lovers, and nothing more than an impulsive decision of their love.

3. Consequences of Forbidden Love

Romeo and Juliet is a love story that ended in tragedy. Since Romeo is a Montague and Juliet is a Capulet, the couple themselves are enemies. Because of the hate between the two families, the couple has to keep their love a secret. This is hard for Romeo and Juliet because they cannot tell anyone they are married. They cannot go out in public together and they have to see each other in secret. Because of the hidden love between the two, the problem arises with Tybalt and Mercutio. Tybalt is Juliet's cousin and Mercutio is Romeo's best friend. Tybalt kills Mercutio and in return, Romeo kills Tybalt. This causes Romeo to be exiled from Verona. Juliet hears of Romeo's banishment and is in desperation. She feels that she can't live without Romeo and is in despair. In the end of the story, Juliet fakes her death but Romeo doesn't know and kills himself. Juliet wakes to her love being dead and ultimately kills herself as well. This is a prime example of consequence where misery is associated with this action, resulting in an unfortunate and more often than not, lethal series of events. During the play, we see the outcomes of forbidden love through Romeo and Juliet, who are to become the ultimate representation of sacrifice and desperation. The final consequence for Romeo and Juliet's forbidden love is at the cost of their lives. The sacrifice that they make is the ultimate one, which is their own lives, which they gave in hope that they may be together. Enacting a marriage to a person from a lower class was greatly insulting to the Capulet tribe, and Tybalt delivers the point by challenging Romeo to a duel then withdrawing and returning to fight Mercutio when Romeo intervenes. Tybalt kills Mercutio and Romeo, still hiding his marriage to Juliet, is left with a feeling of responsibility to his friend and thus decides that revenge will be a suitable course of action by killing Tybalt. This has led to Romeo's banishment from Verona and thus separation from his wife. It is this separation which was the catalyst for the events that would soon unfold and the untimely demise of the two lovers.

3.1. Tragic Endings

Love, in Romeo and Juliet, is a grand passion, and as such it is blinding; it can overwhelm a person as powerfully and completely as hate can. The passionate love between Romeo and Juliet is linked from the moment of its inception with death: Tybalt notices that Romeo has crashed the feast and determines to kill him for this intrusion. Mercutio's death and subsequent curse on the two families, and the awakening of the hitherto peaceful citizenry to an awareness of the facts of the feud, precipitate the final tragedy. The mechanism of fate works in all of these instances. However, in a larger sense, the idea of fate that is often associated with the love between Romeo and Juliet. The play shows that the "forbidden" love between Romeo and Juliet is always connected with death and destruction. For instance, it is made The two lovers are both young, and are simply innocent victims caught up in their societies' preoccupation with violence. When they are together, Romeo and Juliet live in a perfect and heavenly world of their own. This perfect world however is torn apart but the violence of the society they live in. The violence is shown in the first scene between the servants, in the skirmish between Mercutio and Tybalt, and in the deaths of Mercutio and Tybalt and subsequent banishment of Romeo. All these instances of violence. The violence of the society they live in is what ultimately brings and end to Romeo and Juliet's ideal world. At the end of the play, the Prince speaks of what has happened in the tragedy, and in all ways lays the blame at the hands of the parents. In a larger context, it can indeed be said that the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet is the result of a society's using violence as a means of solving disputes. Violence is the means the society employs to "keep the "weaker" members in their place". Romeo and Juliet are truly victims of the immaturity of their societies' value systems. This is shown through several incidents in the play. When they are forced to part, they believe that they will see each other "[t]ill [they] can find a time/To blaze [their] marriage, reconcile [their] friends,/Bid Joyful Romeus, and by my lord and Juliet,/coming to church on Thursday next/together, [they] retire to [their] canopy/beds". This of course never happens, for they never again see each other alive. This belief in the future is also seen at the end of the play when Juliet is found by Romeo. She believes that his "untimely death" was all a dream, and that he had come to her on their wedding night. This is however shattered by Romeo's death.

3.2. Sacrifice and Desperation

Romeo and Juliet's love is a complex act which encompasses the meaning of sacrifice and despair. The constant feud between the Montague and Capulet families results in ongoing pain and suffering. Romeo and Juliet's love becomes an act of great defiance against the customary principles of their society. The lovers are painfully aware of the chronic feud between their families and of the risks they run if their love is discovered. This is made apparent in Juliet's statement after their marriage, "Romeo, O, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, And I'll no longer be a Capulet." Juliet is stating that she does not care who he is or what he is like, she just loves him and wants him to take her as his lover with the possession of marrying her. Desperation plays a great part in act three of Romeo and Juliet. Tybalt slays Mercutio, who in his dying moments curses both the Montague and Capulet houses, "a plague a' both your houses." Romeo is so overtaken by anger and sadness that he slays Tybalt. The prince then proclaims banishment over Romeo. The two lovers are overtaken by sorrow, their sorrow of the loss of Tybalt, the banishment of Romeo and the bleak future in which they face together have driven them to a state of madness. This leads to Juliet's "death" plan in which Friar Lawrence proposes she should take a potion which would make her seem to be dead, in this time Friar Lawrence is to inform Romeo of their plan and the two lovers can escape Verona and live together. This plan proves to have been ill-fated as the report of this plan is never received by Romeo due to an outbreak of a plague in which the courier could not enter Mantua. Romeo hears only of the death of Juliet and in his despair he purchases poison from an apothecary and goes to the tomb in which Juliet "lies". Juliet then awakens to find the dead Romeo and in a state of much grief stabs herself to death.

4. Significance of Forbidden Love in Literature

As it is still frequently argued, the legitimacy of the marriage between Romeo and Juliet is a recurring discussion. With mature and vibrant women such as the nurse and Lady Capulet in the Capulet household, word of Juliet being wed without her consent would have circulated, as it hadn't been heard of for the last time. Now, this situation does not lie in the consent of the Lord and Lady Capulet, but in the society she has been raised in compared to the Friar and Romeo's way of thinking. The foiling of the three females in the Capulet household is unmistakable, with the nurse's pragmatic views about personal gain and Juliet following in her mother's footsteps, showing how society has embedded the belief into their subconscious. Juliet's rebellion from these ideals is her love for Romeo, and it is written to be something she must sacrifice all her worldly possessions to achieve. Akin to the widow of a selfish nobleman who considers second marriages a business opportunity, to consummate the marriage between Romeo and Juliet, the Friar had advised all around them to make self-sacrifices in order to do some good for once. Romeo, with his own ideals of love, is somewhat an unnerving but accurate portrayal of a Petrarchan lover attempting to defy this, that isn't just limited to his short-lived matrimony with Juliet. He's a man who's spun words of love and devotion around a woman he sees through blurred infatuation that is reciprocated through the idea that she's saved him in some kind from his anger-fueled self-destructing ways. If this is really what one calls love, then the sacrifices both have made have been successful in doing nothing else but to avoid succumbing to the society in which they were so uneasily entrapped.

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Forbidden Love: Romeo and Juliet’s Ill-Fated Passion through Shakespeare’s Lens

How it works

When we are trying to dish out blame to others, we all would like to think that our decision is our own opinion; we all would like to think that When deciding something, our hand is not forced. However, like many things, there is another layer to this. Moreover, this is represented best in literature, specifically in the story Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. Moreover, the two lovers, Romeo and Juliet, are to blame for their demise.

  • 1 Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet: The Depth of Their Tragedy
  • 2.1 Reference

Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet: The Depth of Their Tragedy

When authors write their novels, or in this case, plays, they more often than not have a reason or a purpose for the entertainment content, meaning that the author will subtly force your decision and your opinions into what the author wants the audience to understand.

In the case of Romeo and Juliet, this is done by portraying the story from mainly the two lovers’ point of view, meaning that you see the story through the eyes of these two characters. In our case, this is done because the story is about Romeo and Juliet, but it is also used to enforce the author’s perspective discreetly and the intended theme of the story. Suppose you were to look at the story without all the background knowledge, all the filler.

If you look at the story from the point of view of somebody who has only read a concise summary covering the entire story, you will find how much these two characters are willing to sacrifice for a freshly seeded love. The best summary that portrays this point is in the book itself. It is said before the audience knows anything about these people in the prologue states, “A Pair of Star Crossed lovers Take their life Whose misadventures piteous overthrows doth with their death to bury there parents strife”.

Decisions Lead to Downfall: Romeo and Juliet’s Choices

This summarises the end of the book, if you were to add the essential points to this summary It would read Two people who have never met yet are forbidden to love to find themselves at a party were they fall in love at first sight, they decision of marriage had been made just hours later there love was so deep that due to there separation this story ends in a double suicide. While yes, that left out most things in the story, it tells the main points.

This helps the reader to understand how little these two characters know about each other, yet their desire to be loved by them kills them, and nobody else does. The prince banished Romeo, and yes, the parents’ decisions led to Romeo and Juliet hiding their love, but ultimately, they decided to end their lives. Even the characters state that their love was an ad idea: “Juliet: I have no joy of this contract tonight. It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden. Showing how at least one of the characters knew it was a bad idea but went with it anyway.

  • Shakespeare, W. (1597). Romeo and Juliet. London: The Elizabethan Press.

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The Allure of Forbidden Love: A Dive into a Timeless Romance Trope

Explore the enduring allure of forbidden love in literature, unravelling its history, impact, and universal resonance in romance.

From the star-crossed lovers of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet to the modern tales of impossible romances, the forbidden love trope has been a staple in literature and entertainment for centuries. The idea of love that defies society’s norms, challenges boundaries, and often risks everything is not just tantalising; it’s downright addictive. But what is it about this particular romance trope that has such an enduring appeal? 

Skip To The Good Parts...

Human Nature’s Rebellion Against Constraints

At the very essence of our being, humans possess an inherent urge to push against the boundaries set before us. Whether it’s a child being told they can’t touch a certain object or an adult being told they can’t pursue a particular passion, this inherent tendency awakens even more ferociously when faced with restrictions. The phrase “you can’t have it” often acts more as an invitation than a deterrent, igniting a deeper longing within us.

In the realm of forbidden love stories, this intrinsic human trait finds its most passionate expression. Such tales capture the quintessence of our defiance against restrictions, painting love not just as an emotion, but as a treasure – elusive, invaluable, and worth every conceivable risk. It becomes a symbol of ultimate desire, something we’d brave societal judgments, personal dilemmas, and even fate itself to attain. Thus, forbidden love doesn’t just tell a love story; it reflects the very core of our rebellious nature, reminding us of the lengths we can go to when our heart’s deepest desires are on the line.

The Emotional Intensity

When diving into a story of forbidden love, one is immediately struck by the profound emotional depth that underscores every moment. It’s not just a simple tale of two hearts coming together; it’s a whirlwind of emotions heightened by challenges that go beyond personal feelings. These lovers, embroiled in their clandestine affairs, are not merely navigating their own turbulent feelings – they’re facing the colossal weight of societal judgments, familial expectations, and myriad other external impediments.

This external resistance acts as a magnifier, intensifying every stolen glance, every whispered confession, and every touch charged with longing. The constant push and pull, the balancing act between personal desires and external pressures, escalates the narrative’s tension. The fervour, the desperation, and the myriad of emotions that entangle the lovers make their journey an incredibly immersive experience for both readers and viewers. Every twist and turn becomes a visceral experience, as the audience is taken on an exhilarating emotional ride, hanging on to every word, every sigh, and every tear. This is the unparalleled emotional intensity that forbidden romances bring to the table, captivating hearts and minds alike.

The Mirror of Society

In the tapestry of literature and art, forbidden romances don’t just spin tales of clandestine affairs and passionate rendezvous. Instead, they often become poignant mirrors reflecting the complex facets of the societies they’re set in. These narratives, imbued with undertones of societal challenges, cast a spotlight on prevailing prejudices, unspoken taboos, and deep-seated biases. Whether it’s the tragic love of two individuals separated by rigid class barriers, the fervent romance thwarted by racial divides, or a love story ensnared in the web of conflicting religious beliefs, each story offers a profound commentary on societal constructs and expectations.

These tales, in their heart-wrenching beauty and drama, give authors and creators a potent medium to dissect, scrutinise, and often confront societal norms. The audience is not merely served a love story; they’re invited to introspect, to question ingrained beliefs, and to challenge the status quo. The layered narratives compel readers and viewers to reflect on their own perspectives, biases, and roles within their communities. By masterfully blending entertainment with deep societal introspection, forbidden romances not only captivate hearts but also stimulate minds, making them timeless pieces that resonate across ages and cultures.

Relatability

While not everyone has experienced a forbidden romance in the literal sense, most can relate to the idea of yearning for something they can’t or shouldn’t have. This universal feeling of longing and the dilemmas it creates can resonate with a wide range of audiences.

The Promise of Hope

No matter how dire the circumstances, forbidden love stories often carry a glimmer of hope. Even in tragedies like “Romeo and Juliet”, there’s a belief that love, in its purest form, can transcend even death. This unyielding hope can be deeply comforting.

Evolution of the Trope

While the essence remains, the trope has seen many adaptations over the years. Modern forbidden romances might involve characters from different planets or beings from different species. This evolution ensures that the trope remains fresh and relevant to contemporary audiences.

Notable Examples Of Forbidden Love

If you’re looking for a dive deep into worlds where love challenges conventions, magic intertwines with reality, and destinies await the brave, look no further. Each of these novels offers readers a unique journey, from forbidden romances in bustling markets to royal intrigues in faerie lands. Whether you’re seeking adrenaline-pumping action or heart-wrenching romance, the following books promise stories that captivate, challenge, and inspire.

Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

The ultimate tale of young lovers from feuding families, their tragic story showcases the devastating consequences of unchecked hatred and prejudice. (If you don’t have a copy of Romeo and Juliet and you’re after a gorgeous one, I’m obsessed with my Shakespeare in Autumn collection from the Thomas Nelson Seasons Editions.)

The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje

A love story unfolding against the backdrop of World War II, this novel delves deep into the intricacies of loyalty, nationality, and unbridled passion.

Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx

A groundbreaking modern narrative about the challenges of same-sex relationships in conservative environments, highlighting the personal sacrifices made to conform to societal expectations.

The Shape Of Water by Guillermo del Toro & Daniel Kraus

A distinctive story about a mute woman who forms an intimate bond with an aquatic creature, it challenges and reshapes our notions of love.

A Thousand Heartbeats by Kiera Cass

As Princess Annika faces a loveless political marriage, and Lennox is devoted to reclaiming a stolen throne, fate brings these unlikely lovers together, defying all odds.

This Woven Kingdom by Tahereh Mafi

A narrative of empires in conflict and a forbidden romance, Alizeh, the hidden heir to a Jinn kingdom, and Kamran, the crown prince, find their destinies intertwined.

Set against the glamorous world of K-pop, Jenny’s life takes an unexpected turn when she finds herself in love with Jaewoo, a top K-pop idol with whom relationships are strictly off-limits.

Beyond The End Of The World by Amie Kaufman & Meagan Spooner

As worlds fall apart, Nimh and North defy their destinies to find each other amidst chaos, questioning whether their love can save or destroy their worlds.

The Kindred by Alechia Dow

As the galaxy stands on the brink of revolution, Joy and Felix, bound by the Kindred pairing, must navigate their complex feelings for each other while confronting dangerous political conspiracies.

Self-Made Boys by Anna-Marie McLemore

This modern reinterpretation of The Great Gatsby places the tender relationship between Nicolás and Jay at its centre, revealing unspoken desires and challenging societal norms.

An Arrow To The Moon by Emily X.R. Pan

Mingling Romeo and Juliet with Chinese folklore, Hunter and Luna confront family secrets and external threats as their love for each other becomes their guiding light.

Teach The Torches To Burn by Caleb Roehrig

In this Romeo & Juliet redux, Verona’s age-old feud takes on a new hue as Romeo and Valentine grapple with societal expectations and their growing affection for one another.

These Violent Delights by Chloe Gong

Set in 1920s Shanghai, Juliette Cai and Roma Montagov find their love caught in the crossfire of a turf war, all while a sinister force threatens the very fabric of their city.

A Pho Love Story by Loan Le

Two Vietnamese-American teens, Bao and Linh, fall for each other amid a family rivalry over competing pho restaurants. Can love prevail against a backdrop of old feuds and culinary competition?

Circle Of Shadows by Evelyn Skye

Apprentice warriors Sora and Daemon infiltrate a mysterious camp, leading them into deception that could change Kichona’s future. Will the kingdom’s peace be preserved or torn apart?

Girls Of Paper And Fire by Natasha Ngan

Lei, a girl of the Paper caste, is taken to the palace where she navigates intrigue and falls in forbidden love, setting her on a quest for justice and revenge in a world that suppresses her.

Carve The Mark by Veronica Roth

Cyra and Akos, from enemy nations, find themselves entangled in politics, rebellion, and unexpected affection. When loyalties clash, will they choose family or love?

Shatter Me by Tahereh Mafi

Juliette has a deadly touch. While the regime sees her as a weapon, a reunion with a past ally helps her discover her strength and potential.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black

Jude, a mortal, is thrust into the treacherous High Court of Faerie. Amidst royal intrigue, she fights for her place and gets embroiled in a civil war.

The Fire Of Stars by Audrey Coulthurst

Betrothed Princess Dennaleia hides a forbidden magical affinity for fire. In a kingdom where magic is taboo, her growing bond with Princess Amaranthine complicates matters further.

The Wrath And The Dawn by Renée Ahdieh

In a land of dawn executions, Shahrzad marries the Caliph Khalid to avenge her friend’s death. However, she finds herself falling for him while uncovering dark secrets.

A Web of Forbidden Love: Where Tropes Intertwine

Forbidden love often merges with other romance themes, creating complex and engaging narratives. This blending enriches the storytelling landscape, showcasing the multifaceted nature of love against diverse challenges.

Enemies to Lovers

There’s an undeniable allure when two individuals, supposed to be adversaries, find themselves inexplicably attracted to each other. The danger and tension inherent in both their enmity and their forbidden romance amplify the emotional depth of the story. Examples that deftly blend forbidden love with the enemies to lovers trope are A Pho Love Story and The Cruel Prince .

Love Across Class or Cultural Lines

Sometimes, love is forbidden because of societal hierarchies or cultural differences. These narratives explore not just romance but also broader societal challenges and prejudices. Girls of Paper and Fire illustrates this, where status and class play pivotal roles.

Magical Abilities or Curses

In some stories, it’s supernatural elements that make love forbidden. Perhaps one of the lovers possesses a power that endangers the other, or there’s a curse that makes their love lethal or impossible. Both Shatter Me and Carve the Mark meld the forbidden with the supernatural, heightening the stakes of the love affair.

Secret Identity or Hidden Agenda

When one lover hides their true identity or motives, it brings a layer of intrigue. Discovering the truth can either tear the couple apart or bring them closer, but the journey to that revelation, fraught with secrecy and betrayals, keeps readers on their toes. The Wrath & the Dawn beautifully explores this dynamic, where ulterior motives clash with genuine affection.

Sacrifice for Love

Central to many forbidden love stories is the idea of sacrifice. Lovers might have to give up their status, family, power, or even life itself to be together. The decision to choose love over other pressing obligations creates a poignant and often heart-wrenching narrative.

Friends to Lovers

One of the most endearing and relatable tropes in romance literature is the evolution of friendship into romantic love. When the boundary between platonic and romantic affection blurs, it can lead to powerful emotions of confusion, fear of rejection, and the potential loss of the foundational friendship. Making the move from friends to lovers can sometimes feel just as forbidden, especially when the stakes are a deep and longstanding bond. Stories like Of Fire and Stars tap into this delicate transition, exploring how the depth of friendship can organically evolve into something even more profound, and at times, forbidden.

By intertwining forbidden love with these and other tropes, authors craft multi-dimensional stories that resonate deeply with readers, making the pursuit of love not just an act of passion, but one of bravery, defiance, and profound transformation.

Why We All Route For Forbidden Love

Forbidden love, as a trope, captures the essence of human emotion, desire, and rebellion. Its enduring appeal lies in its ability to reflect our deepest fears, hopes, and desires. As society changes, so do the contours of this trope, ensuring that it will remain a beloved fixture in storytelling for generations to come. Whether it’s the thrill of the chase, the intensity of hidden passions, or the reflection of our own desires, forbidden love stories will always find a place in our hearts.

Are you a fan of this trope? Have I missed any great books that feature this trope off my list? Drop a comment below and let me know, I’ll add them in!

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First page of “A comparison on the theme of forbidden love in William Shakespeare’s "Romeo and Juliet" and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s "The Great Gatsby"”

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A comparison on the theme of forbidden love in William Shakespeare’s "Romeo and Juliet" and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s "The Great Gatsby"

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2016, International Baccalaureate Diploma Extended Essay (English Literature and Language HL)

This thesis analyses the theme of forbidden love as it is captured in William Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" and F. Scott Fitzgerald’s "The Great Gatsby", comparing its significance in the two tragic story tellings. The theme of forbidden love holds equal importance in both texts, constituting the driving force behind the main characters' actions and by ultimately determining the two stories' finale. From the first encounter of Romeo and Juliet, and, of Gatsby and Daisy both happening at a party, to the denial of reality, the misfortunes of fate, the hatred prevailing in the society, the imminent feeling of revenge, the unconditional love, to the end portraying the death of the infatuated characters, the two narratives are comparable on many levels, even though it is not explicitly obvious at a first glance. Arguing forbidden love to be clearly dominant in both these literary masterpieces, in one and the other, the theme is clearly addressed through the presence of contrasting elements; light and darkness, public and private, fast and slow, past and present, language and reality, life and death, love and hate, and at last, fate and free will. Although the theme of forbidden love can be sustained to be less relevant in "The Great Gatsby" than it is in "Romeo and Juliet", this paper argues that by sharing common elements, the theme of forbidden love is at the core of both these works which stand as two pillars of the global literature landscape in time. Grade: A

Free related PDFs Related papers

an essay about forbidden love

Jacques Derrida revolutionized Western Philosophy by reconsidering the previous ideas from a new perspective. In his view, human subjectivity is explained within the system of language and the meaning is conveyed through the concept of differánce. As such, he imparts the notion that nothing ever exists outside the text, yet the text is filled with innumerable meanings, not a specific one. The net of his deconstructive thinking cast vast enough to devote close critical attention to any previously regarded metaphysical idea like love. Transcendental or metaphysical love is a shorn of meaning in the Derridean notion of deconstruction. For Derrida, love as a communicable sign is confined to the rules of iterability which proves the free flow of signifiers. In this regard, Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby as one of the most critically studied works in America is recruited to examine the Derridean deconstructive notion of love. Gatsby is exclusively focused on seeking Daisy's transcendental love even at the expense of repeating the past. Nonetheless, the evanescent fluidity of the notion of love totally ruins Gatsby's chance of ever achieving Daisy's love. Accordingly, Gatsby's ultimate failure is expected for the reason that an "absolute moment" is never devoid of any trace of past or future time. Thus, The Great Gatsby attends to why the notion of love defies any metaphysical or transcendental status and instead it has differential and deferral meaning.

METAPHYSICAL OR DIFFERENTIAL: FITZGERALD'S THE GREAT GATSBY UNDER DERRIDEAN CONCEPT OF LOVE Cover Page

Film, Fashion & Consumption, 2014

Film Review: When Too Much Spectacle is Not Enough: Costume in Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby (edited version) Karen de Perthuis Pace was never going to be a problem with Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby (2013) which, by the time I got round to seeing it, had clearly divided opinion. A hit at the box office, the critics had been scathing. David Denby of The New Yorker suggested it was less a film than a music video made with ‘endless resources and a stunning absence of taste’ (2013: 79). The respected fashion writer, Colin McDowell, condemned it ‘as vacuous as the pages of most fashion magazines’ (2013). But ever hopeful that Luhrmann and production designer Catherine Martin could repeat the visually thrilling experience of Romeo+Juliet (Luhrmann, 1996) I was willing to take my chances. I was expecting spectacle – ‘glitz and bling’ as someone else put it. I went for the costumes. I went for the fashion. The film has an excess of both. So why the disappointment? Let’s start with the costume. By chance, I had spent the afternoon at the V&A’s popular ‘Hollywood Costume’ exhibition showing at the Australian Centre for Moving Images (ACMI) in Melbourne, so I did not need to be reminded that costume design involves the creativity and hard work of many talented individuals. In the complex process of getting a script to the screen, nothing is left to chance; everything matters. In this, The Great Gatsby is no exception, and if ACMI (or the V&A) were to put all of the film’s spectacular Academy Award winning costumes on show, I have no doubt that they too would draw murmurs of admiration from the visiting crowds. But at ‘Hollywood Costume’, spectacle is not given pride of place. In the curator notes and in the interviews with designers, actors and directors, the exhibition at ACMI had one take-home message: the most important function of costume design is not to provide spectacle, but to transform the actor into a character we can believe in. In the book Hollywood Costume (2012), published in concert with the exhibition, costume designer and fashion scholar Deborah Nadoolman Landis offers the representative view that costume embodies ‘the psychological, social and emotional condition of the character at a particular moment in the script’ (2012: 52). In this, it is hard not to hear echoes of Edith Head’s so-called ‘storytelling wardrobes’, written about by Jane Gaines in her influential article, ‘Costume and narrative: How dress tells the woman’s story’ (1990: 180). Although Nadoolman Landis emphasizes that ‘costumes are so much more than clothes’ (2012: 52), Gaines’s analysis suggests that it is only when costume ‘disappears’ into ‘clothes’ that it can effectively portray character. In other words, what we are supposed to see on the screen is not an actor dressed in a costume but ‘merely someone wearing clothes’ (Gaines 1990: 192). If we buy into this fiction, then the film can concentrate on the narrative and we can sit back and enjoy the story. Of course, if the actor happens to be playing Elizabeth I, Marie-Antoinette or Daisy Buchanan, a certain degree of spectacle is required. But even costumes that dazzle can serve the narrative by revealing the psychological state of a character – the exterior shell of costume, if you like, is innermost feelings turned inside-out. In her book, Hollywood Catwalk (2010), Tamar Jeffers McDonald offers examples of transformation scenes where a character tries on numerous outfits in an attempt to find one that is ‘just right’ – a Goldilocks- style trope that, often as not, combines fashion spectacle with a final choice that, in costume terms, is the perfect psychological ‘fit’. When it comes to The Great Gatsby, Fitzgerald helps out by describing what his characters are wearing: ‘Gatsby, in a white flannel suit, silver shirt, and gold-coloured tie’ ([1926] 1974: 90–91); ‘the grey haze of Daisy’s fur collar’ ([1926] 1974: 115); Myrtle’s ‘spotted dress of dark blue crêpe de chine’ ([1926] 1974: 31). The film cherry-picks these clues and then fills in the gaps. So we get Carey Mulligan’s Daisy, America’s version of an aristocrat, wistful and romantic in pastel confections. At Gatsby’s party, wearing a Prada-designed stole that frames her delicate features in a lilac haze of fur, she is seductively vulnerable – but also trapped prey, an image that reinforces Gatsby’s vision of her as something rare and precious. Gatsby (Leonardo di Caprio) himself is appropriately obsessive about his appearance, everything is hand-finished, everything perfect. His fondness for ‘brands’ (‘My man in England sends things over’), his compulsive expenditure (that extraordinary shirt scene), and his conspicuous display of wealth all betray a character who is both conscious of the symbolic power of clothes and clearly eager to impress. For this viewer, interest starts to wane when it comes to the supporting characters. Jordan Baker (Elizabeth Debicki), with her ‘hard, jaunty body’ (Fitzgerald [1926] 1974: 65) probably makes sense as a fashion-plate; fickle, all surface and ‘incurably dishonest’ ([1926] 1974: 65), she plays into the popular stereotype of fashion and the fashionable as morally bankrupt. Tom Buchanan (Joel Edgerton), dressed as ‘the sporting hero’, successfully conveys the impression of someone who never loses. But tragic Myrtle Wilson (Isla Fisher), Tom’s low-rent mistress, dolled-up and overdrawn in reds and blacks? And Nick (conveniently played by Fitzgerald lookalike, Tobey McGuire) in a cardigan and bow tie? Surely there are rules against turning nuanced characters into cardboard cutouts? The same broad brushstrokes are applied to the party scenes, those lavish spectacles showing Gatsby ‘dispensing starlight to casual moths’ (Fitzgerald [1926] 1974: 85) that form the backdrop to much of the action. Fitzgerald coined the term ‘The Jazz Age’ and Luhrmann’s film fills the screen with everything we have come to expect of the era, as well as adding a mass of pop culture clichés from our own. The effect is a mash-up of frenzied kineticism. ‘It’s not too much, is it?’ asks Gatsby. Obligingly, Nick shakes his head, ‘No’. But it is. I love this sort of stuff and want these scenes to work. Film is made for such moments and it’s not hard to imagine that Gatsby’s parties were designed to resemble a euphoric explosion from one of those cannon-sized bottles of Moët that keep turning up in the film. Every shimmying guest, kiss-curled dancer and spangled entertainer a gorgeous sparkling droplet, cascading across the screen in a glorious celebration of wealth, beauty and excess. Instead, the spinning dizzyness is nauseating and all the intricate elements of design get lost as they dissolve into a kaleidoscopic vomit of confetti, streamers and glitter. Perhaps I would not have minded so much if Luhrmann had managed to make it all mean something, if he had not made the mistake of confusing excess with decadence, if he had not made it all look like such good, clean fun. Where are the consequences? Where are the torn dresses, the shredded hearts, the angry diamonds and the trainwrecked souls that are scattered throughout the novel? Colin McDowell is right to compare the film to a fashion magazine; youth, sex, money, image – like the glossy pages of Vogue, the film has it all. But he is right for the wrong reasons. Despite the collaboration with Prada and the commercial tie-ins with Tiffany’s, Brooks Brothers, Fogal and so on; despite costumes that could walk straight from the cineplex to the retail store, the problem with the presence of fashion in this film is not that there is too much, but that there is too little. Let me clarify. What fashion can do, what fashion offers a film like The Great Gatsby, is an immediate entrée into a gilt-edged world. Not without reason, fashion has a reputation as obsessively preoccupied with surface and appearance; it is superficial, frivolous and fickle – all traits that play precisely into Fitzgerald’s depiction of hard, cut-glass characters, those ‘careless people’ who casually abandon people and things ([1926] 1974: 186). Instinctively, Luhrmann gets this. But whereas Fitzgerald knows the value of the shadow side of style to the telling of his tale, Luhrmann cannot help turning back towards the light. Darkness and Luhrmann, it has been suggested, ‘don’t really move in the same circles’ (Davies 2013: 40). Fashion is not so squeamish; the best fashion imagery understands that the flip side of glamour is death. In ignoring the dual nature of fashion, by keeping it one-dimensional, or at best a cipher, Luhrmann misses the chance to corral his considerable talent for spectacle into a film that would have been worthy of Fitzgerald’s novel. If Luhrmann had got the costume, spectacle and fashion right, then perhaps he would have also got right Fitzgerald’s depiction of the Janus-faced coin of the American Dream. Where the author gives us a mirror, the filmmaker gives us ... nothing.

When Too Much Spectacle Is Not Enough: Costume in Baz Luhrmann’s The Great Gatsby. Cover Page

"Türkçe Söyleyen" Can Yücel: The "Rewriter" par excellence, 2007

This thesis problematizes the poet-translator Can Yücel’s unique translation approach designated as “Türkçe Söyleyen” in the Turkish literary system by analyzing four of his translations in three genres: poetry, drama, and prose fiction. In order to resolve the definitional ambivalence as to whether Yücel’s free translations can be categorized under “translation proper” or under some other label, the study takes up the four key terms used in the discourse on translational output: “imitation,” “adaptation,” “version,” and “rewriting.” The study demonstrates that André Lefevere and Susan Bassnett’s notion of “rewriting” accounts for Yücel’s specific translation approach in the most thorough way, making him, in fact, the finest practitioner of the designation the “‘rewriter’ par excellence.” The four descriptive translation analyses demonstrate that Yücel’s works are “translation proper” and none of the first three terms above can fully define them, because the translator “rewrote” his source texts with his idiosyncratic translation poetics, especially characterized by vocabulary and usages specific to the Turkish language and culture. This poetics of the “Turkish rewriter,” which is sometimes referred to as “Can Babaca” (Canese), is based upon a leftist ideology aimed at “colonizing” his source texts. The textual analyses indicate that while his free strategies help Yücel create “metapoems” in his translations of “Sonnet 66” and “The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” they hinder literary excellence to a considerable extent in his translations of The Glass Menagerie and The Great Gatsby because of a drastic shift of register from colloquial to slang. Whereas Yücel’s heavily “appropriating” macro-strategy foregrounds him as a fine and very “visible” translator of poetry, it indeed “overshadows” the individuality of his two prose translations.

"Türkçe Söyleyen" Can Yücel: The "Rewriter" par excellence Cover Page

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A COMPARATIVE APPROACH TO ELIOT’S THE WASTE LAND AND FITZGERALD’S THE GREAT GATSBY Cover Page

The Journal of Men's Studies, 2011

Gatsby's Mentors: Queer Relations Between Love and Money in The Great Gatsby Cover Page

American Literary Realism, 2011

“Novelist-Narrators of the American Dream: The (Meta-)Realistic Chronicles of Cather, Fitzgerald, Roth, and Díaz”  Cover Page

The Space Between: Literature and Culture, 1914-1945, 2010

"Jordan Baker, Gender Dissent, and Homosexual Passing in The Great Gatsby" Cover Page

F. Scott Fitzgerald Reviiew, 2016

Gatsby's Green Light as a Traffic Signal: F. Scott Fitzgerald's Motive Force Cover Page

Journal of Narrative Technique 12 (Fall 1982), 210-20, 1982

Fitzgerald, Perkins, and The Great Gatsby. Cover Page

Criticism, 2014

Gatsby's Tattoo: Gesture, Tic, and Description Cover Page

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Love Letter: A Forbidden Love, Lost and Found.

Plus: Fran Lebowitz made him do it.

By Charanna Alexander

[This is the Love Letter newsletter. Sign up here to receive it in your inbox. ]

Imagine risking your life in pursuit of love. That’s exactly what David Wisnia and Helen Spitzer, two prisoners at Auschwitz , did every time they dared to meet amid the death and despair that surrounded them. They knew their stolen moments would eventually come to an end, but they planned to reunite. It took them 72 years.

In this week’s Modern Love essay , writer Brian Burns’s love for Fran Lebowitz leads him to an unexpected encounter (and a wild ride on a motorcycle) with a man about 50 years his senior. But Mr. Burns would soon realize that their connection wasn’t what it seemed.

And, for Frank and Katie Smith , who divorced in 2017, separation came as a surprise even though they had spent several years drifting apart. The pressures of children and finances finally took its toll on their relationship. Looking back, Ms. Smith wonders if she could have tried harder. “I had plenty of time to talk him out of it, and I never did,” she said. “Deep down we couldn’t put together a future.”

We want to hear from you.

We want to deliver content that truly matters to you and your feedback is helpful. Email your thoughts to [email protected] .

Also, here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay or how to be featured in an Unhitched column . Don’t feel like writing more than a tweet, an Instagram caption or a Facebook post? Consider submitting to Tiny Love Stories , which are no more than 100 words. Getting married? Here’s how to submit a wedding announcement.

Why “Forbidden Love” Can Seem So Alluring—and When It’s A Problem

Many of us are likely familiar with the concept of "forbidden love," a romantic notion often portrayed by characters in acting and literature. It refers to a romance between two individuals that is opposed by family, friends, or society, as their relationship may defy cultural, religious, or societal norms. This could be due to disapproval from loved ones, differing backgrounds, or taboos like a significant age gap, a coworker relationship, or even a love interest who is already married.

Mark Twain captured this dynamic when he wrote, "There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable," and many of us have heard the phrase, "forbidden fruit tastes the sweetest." Apparently, such hidden feelings can intensify the romantic experience. But why is this, and what are the potential drawbacks or concerns related to pursuing a relationship of this type, where marriage or even just being together may seem like an insurmountable challenge?

Why a person may feel drawn to “forbidden love”

People of all ages, genders, and sexual orientations may experience the increased allure of a relationship that’s been deemed “forbidden.” There are many reasons why someone might be drawn to romantic dynamics that are supposed to be off-limits in some way—below, we’ll explore four of them.

1. The way the brain works

Researchers have identified a number of psychological principles that may provide some insight into why "forbidden love" is so alluring to some, particularly in the world of a young lover. One is reactance, which one study defines as "the motivation to regain freedom after it has been lost or threatened." In other words, reactance is a person's desire to work even harder to get what they want after they've been told that they can't or shouldn't pursue it. If a girl's parents say she's not allowed to date, that girl may be even more motivated to find a partner, for example. Or, two coworkers, like Justin and a woman he's interested in, whose office has a policy against dating colleagues may find that the rule actually increases their desire to get together.

Another principle that's been identified in relation to the allure of "forbidden love" is the effort justification phenomenon. The principle states that humans— and even some animals —tend to place greater value on rewards that require more effort to obtain. So, if a couple must sneak around at night to spend time together because their families disapprove, for instance, they might both be inclined to value the relationship more highly. They may fall deeper into their secret romance, potentially contemplating marriage or simply enjoying their time together, no matter the consequences.

2. The influence of the media

One study found that people who watched a selection of romantic films or read written pages of love stories to learn "reported stronger endorsement of romantic ideal beliefs than those who did not watch to learn." Since movies, TV shows, and books, many of which have played with the theme of forbidden love and the desire to marry against all odds, are a common part of life for many people beginning in childhood. The "forbidden romance" trope is common across media types—think Romeo and Juliet or The Little Mermaid—it may contribute to some people subconsciously being more drawn to this dynamic in their personal romantic lives as teenagers and adults, possibly even exploring intimate aspects like sex within these relationships.

3. A fear of abandonment or commitment

Someone who frequently finds themselves pursuing “forbidden love” relationships could potentially have a fear of abandonment or commitment. There’s often a significant chance that these types of relationships won’t work out, which may make them feel like safer choices to a person with such deep-seated worries. Someone who fears making commitments might feel more comfortable in a dynamic that has a high chance of failing, so the chances of being expected to commit to someone long-term are lower. Someone who fears abandonment might prefer this type of relationship because it may feel more predictable; they won’t be as caught off guard if or when things don’t work out.

4. Avoidance of boredom

Some people may feel compelled to avoid relationships that are conventional or “safe” in favor of those that have “forbidden love” elements. They may be trying to avoid a dynamic that they consider to be boring, preferring to take their chances on something that feels risky or unexpected. In cases like these, it might simply be boredom, curiosity, or even “the fear of missing out” that drives someone to pursue a relationship that others disapprove of. There’s also the element of the “rush” some people feel when doing something that’s against the rules. For some, having a secret to keep can make life feel more exciting.

When the pursuit of “forbidden love” may be problematic

Someone who strongly feels the allure of “forbidden love” could potentially end up sabotaging their other relationships. For instance, someone who is in a loving, healthy relationship could cheat on their partner with someone who may be inappropriate or even unhealthy for them because of one of the motivations discussed above. Or, they could break up with someone they deeply love to pursue a “forbidden love” instead. A decision like this could end a relationship that was a positive force in their life, which would likely be hurtful to the person’s partner and could lead to a pattern of unfulfilling relationships.

Behaviors related to pursuing “forbidden” relationships could also have negative consequences on a person’s life even beyond their romantic situation. For instance, if a professional gets romantically involved with their boss because of the thrill of it being against the rules, someone may end up losing their job, which could negatively impact their career and their financial stability.

The human fascination with danger, transgression, and adrenaline rushes are real, and they have the potential to cause harm to the individual or those around them.

Is “forbidden love” worth it?

Determining if it’s in your best interest to pursue a “forbidden love” relationship with someone often requires being honest with yourself. Is the connection with this person what you truly want? Have you weighed the ways in which it could negatively impact your life? Will pursuing this relationship mean you’re denying yourself the opportunity for healthy connections, or unduly harming people you love? Breaking up with someone to pursue someone else can be a perfectly valid or even positive choice, as can pursuing a relationship that others disapprove of. Determining whether it is worth it depends on your unique situation and your true motivations.

A therapist may be able to help you uncover the motivations for your choices and learn to make decisions that prioritize your well-being. If your pursuit of “forbidden love” stems from fears of abandonment, low self-esteem, substance use issues, or some other challenge, a therapist can provide you with tools that may allow you to make better choices for yourself. 

If you are struggling with substance use, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at (800) 662-4357 to receive support and resources. Support is available 24/7.

Regardless of the cause, if you’ve become concerned about the romantic choices you’re making or wish to make, connecting with a mental health professional online may help you sort through your thoughts and understand what’s going on. 

For instance, a review of 14 studies found that online cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) led to an average improvement of 50% for symptoms of a range of concerns, including generalized anxiety disorder, depression, social anxiety disorder, and more.

Those experiencing the draw of “forbidden love” or any challenges resulting from it may have some feelings of embarrassment given the taboo nature of this type of relationship. With online therapy such as BetterHelp, you can connect with a qualified counselor from your home through a web page, rather than having to go to an office in person where you might encounter other people.

What is an example of forbidden love?

A classic story of forbidden love is Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. It’s the tale of a pair who fall in love despite a family rivalry that forbids their union. The complexity and desire of forbidden love fraught with challenges and obstacles is a recurrent theme in both ancient and modern love stories. For example, Orpheus (country of origin, ancient Greece), is a classic tale of forbidden love filled with both desire and tragedy. 

What is considered forbidden love?

Forbidden love is a character trope of people who desire and love each other but cannot be together for some—often external—reason. Forbidden love doesn’t just happen in literature and movies. Some common external pressures driving forbidden love include family expectations, religious differences, racism, homophobia, pre-existing romantic commitments, or social status.

How do you describe forbidden love?

Forbidden love, or “star-crossed love,” describes people who love each other deeply and desire a life together, but they cannot be together for some reason—oftentimes, love is forbidden by a societal expectation or norm. In literature, these characters are often doomed to end their forbidden love in tragedy (such as death, heartbreak, guilt, or exile). 

What is the feeling of forbidden love?

Forbidden love can encompass feelings of intense desire, excitement, passion, longing, fear, shame, confusion, heartache, and anger. Forbidden love is a common theme in literature because of the intensity of emotions it stirs. As Mark Twain once said, “There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.”

Why is forbidden love so attractive?

Here are some of the reasons why forbidden love is so appealing for many people: 

Forbidden love typically goes against societal norms and expectations, making it novel, exciting, and unpredictable.

The sheer act of something being forbidden can make it more intriguing. 

When it becomes difficult to spend time together, that time can become more precious and meaningful. 

The resistance to external pressures can foster a sense of rebellious independence and freedom that can feel liberating. 

Keeping a secret can create deeper intimacy and romantic attraction. 

The risk, desire, and excitement of forbidden love can amplify romantic attraction for many people. Because of the palpable excitement of this temptation, forbidden love is commonly used in both ancient and modern stories.  

What are the dangers of forbidden love?

Forbidden love can risk harm to family bonds, status/reputation, social life, mental health, and potentially have legal ramifications (for example, if someone has an affair with their forbidden lover). 

How to handle forbidden love?

The best way to deal with forbidden love will differ from case-to-case. However, it’s generally recommended that you assess what the best choice is for your mental health and wellbeing. 

For example, if you really love them and know you want to be together, but you’re held back by a pre-existing relationship or marriage, it’s usually best to end things first and be upfront with your current partner instead of going behind their back. 

In other types of love that may be unaccepted in your family or social group—such as same-sex relationships, interracial relationships, or cross-cultural relationships—it can be empowering to stand up for what you believe in and enter the relationships that make you happy despite disapproval from others. 

Before going forward with a forbidden relationship, it can be helpful to take time to reflect on how you really feel about this person. The desire created by being forbidden can distort or amplify your feelings for them, so it’s a good idea to assess whether it’s really love or if it’s lust. 

What are the characteristics of forbidden love?

Forbidden love is characterized by the romantic love of two people who deeply love one another—oftentimes passionately—but cannot be together due to external factors like physical distance, family expectations, war, culture, race, homophobia, pre-existing relationships, or something else.  

What is a good word for forbidden love?

Forbidden love is sometimes called star-crossed love, ill-fated love, unrequited love, or the French phrase, “la douleur exquise,” which refers to the intense pain of wanting someone you know you can never be with. 

What can you say about forbidden love?

Forbidden love is a familiar romantic trope that many people are familiar from stories like Romeo and Juliet, Titanic, and Brokeback Mountain. In these relationships, both parties deeply love and desire one another, but there are circumstances that make their love unattainable. Oftentimes, barriers like fear of vulnerability, social class, family pressures, or other expectations stand in the way, and these stories tend to end in tragedy.

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COMMENTS

  1. Romeo and Juliet: The Tragedy of Forbidden Love

    Introduction. William Shakespeare's play, Romeo and Juliet, is a timeless tale of love and tragedy. Set in the city of Verona, the play explores the ill-fated love between two young individuals from feuding families. This essay will delve into the themes of love, fate, and tragedy that Shakespeare expertly weaves together to create a profoundly ...

  2. Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare Essay ...

    Get a custom critical writing on Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare. Sigmund Freud's perspective of the psyche is actively tied to sexual desire and the three aspects of one's personality. These aspects are id, ego, and superego, and they have a significant effect on a person's actions and motivations (Studious Guy, 2021).

  3. Analysis of Forbidden Love in Tales

    Analysis of Forbidden Love in Tales. Romeo and Juliet will always remain a classic example of a tale of pure love that was forbidden. On the similar lines are Isabel Allende's The House of the Spirits and Laura Esquivel's Like Water for Chocolate wherein Blanca and Pedro, Ferula and Clara in the former and Tita and Pedro Muzquiz in the ...

  4. Love In Romeo And Juliet: [Essay Example], 618 words

    Love is a complex and powerful force that has been the subject of countless literary works throughout history. One of the most famous examples of this is William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, a timeless tale of young love that ends in tragedy. In this essay, we will explore the theme of love in Romeo and Juliet, examining its various forms ...

  5. Essay On Forbidden Love In Romeo And Juliet

    Essay On Forbidden Love In Romeo And Juliet. 'Romeo and Juliet' is a play written by William Shakespeare on 1597, which illustrates a tragic love story between a son and a daughter of two opposing families, the Montague and the Capulet. 'Romeo + Juliet' is a modernised version of the play, interpreted and directed by Baz Luhrmann on 1996.

  6. Romeo And Juliet Forbidden Love Essay

    Romeo And Juliet Forbidden Love Essay. Where there are feuds, there is hate. Where there is hate, there is also love. You must love something so passionately to hate another, or perhaps there is no hate to be found at all. Perhaps there is a forbidden love story in the kindling, rising from the ashes of the bridges each side burns.

  7. Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare

    Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet by Shakespeare - free essay example for studies and students. Essays & Research Papers for Free from Aithor.com ⭐ Make your own essay. 1. Introduction Act 1 Scene 3 starts with Lady Capulet conversing with Juliet about her thoughts on getting married. Lady Capulet brings up the subject of marriage to ...

  8. Forbidden Love: Romeo and Juliet's Ill-Fated Passion Through

    Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet: The Depth of Their Tragedy. When authors write their novels, or in this case, plays, they more often than not have a reason or a purpose for the entertainment content, meaning that the author will subtly force your decision and your opinions into what the author wants the audience to understand.

  9. Forbidden Love in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet Essay

    When you care so deeply about something and sacrifice so much just so that it can happen, but despite it all, ends in ruins. This is the theme of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. In this tragic tale, two fated lovers risk everything, even life itself, to be with one another. They go against family, friends and fate to be together.

  10. An Analysis of Forbidden Love in Romeo and Juliet by William ...

    Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet is a story that depicts forbidden love which inevitably ends tragically. There were two characters that supported Romeo and Juliet's love for one another; they did everything that they could have done in attempt of fulfilling the couple's dream of being t...

  11. Forbidden Love In Romeo And Juliet Essay

    Forbidden relationships is a prominent theme throughout the play Romeo and Juliet: McEwan 's' novel Cement Garden and the novel Notes On a Scandal. Each explore the relationships between a couple and ultimately how the forbidden love brings forth destruction and loss. Shakespeare predominantly presents the forbidden love in Romeo and Juliet ...

  12. The Role Of Forbidden Love In Shakespeare's Romeo And Juliet

    Forbidden love affects the passion of one's feeling. In Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet, their love expanded into greater passion. Their love became more passionate for they valued their relationship, priorities, and time spent together. The forbiddenness also created the wanting for peace between the two families, Montagues and Capulets and ...

  13. The Allure of Forbidden Love: A Timeless Romance Trope

    Forbidden love, as a trope, captures the essence of human emotion, desire, and rebellion. Its enduring appeal lies in its ability to reflect our deepest fears, hopes, and desires. As society changes, so do the contours of this trope, ensuring that it will remain a beloved fixture in storytelling for generations to come.

  14. The Physics of Forbidden Love

    Malcolm Conner is a junior at Trinity University in San Antonio and the winner of the Modern Love College Essay Contest. The finalists' essays will be published in May. Email: [email protected]

  15. Forbidden Love In Romeo And Juliet Essay

    Forbidden Love In Romeo And Juliet Essay. When forbidden love crosses two young individuals, the best is not intended for them. William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy and romance. In the play, two young lovers named Romeo, a Montague, and Juliet, a Capulet, cross paths and end up falling head over heels for each other.

  16. (PDF) A comparison on the theme of forbidden love in William

    Gatsby and Daisy's love is in fact, like Romeo and Juliet's, forbidden, they are star-crossed lovers; Romeo and Juliet care immensely about each other as Gatsby does for Daisy, but due to their circumstances they cannot be together.27 All those themes Fitzgerald and Shakespeare's texts have in common are related to the theme of forbidden ...

  17. Examples Of Forbidden Love In Romeo And Juliet

    In Act 3 Scene 1 the Prince banned Romeo from Verona. When Romeo was banned the only people who knew about Romeo and Juliet being married were Romeo, Juliet, Friar Laurence, and Nurse. Romeo being banned from Verona was an example of forbidden love because even people who did not know about Romeo and Juliet being together still caused them so ...

  18. Love Letter: A Forbidden Love, Lost and Found ...

    In this week's Modern Love essay, writer Brian Burns's love for Fran Lebowitz leads him to an unexpected encounter (and a wild ride on a motorcycle) with a man about 50 years his senior. But ...

  19. Why Forbidden Love Is Often The Most Tempting

    1. The way the brain works. Researchers have identified a number of psychological principles that may provide some insight into why "forbidden love" is so alluring to some, particularly in the world of a young lover. One is reactance, which one study defines as "the motivation to regain freedom after it has been lost or threatened."

  20. Descriptive Essay About Forbidden Love

    Descriptive Essay About Forbidden Love. Roses used to make me so happy. Their rich, wine red elegance spoke to me in the softest whisper; alike to a maiden attempting to woo an unsuspecting victim with her seductive smell and a tone of voice that would certainly cause anyone to fall under her trap. I felt that only roses of the reddest tone ...

  21. (PDF) A comparison on the theme of forbidden love in William

    The theme of forbidden love holds equal importance in both texts, constituting the driving force behind the main characters' actions and by ultimately determining the two stories' finale.

  22. English FAL GR 12 Short Stories 2

    Forbidden Love by Can Themba. Can Themba was born on 21 June 1924 in Marabastad, Pretoria, into a family of four. He won a scholarship to study at Fort Hare College, where he received an English degree in 1947. He later obtained a teacher's diploma and taught in Johannesburg's western township areas. In 1960 he started working for Golden ...

  23. Forbidden Love

    My love as deep: the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite. (II.ii.line133-135) the forbidden love between Romeo and Juliet is displayed and we are led to consider love's sacrifice, endearing purity and innocence, as well as sorrow and suffering. Yes, the love Romeo and Juliet share is beautiful and passionate.